├── .gitignore ├── README.md ├── bootstrap.php.js ├── commands ├── bestwaifu.php.js ├── dank.php.js ├── die.php.js ├── echo.php.js ├── eval.php.js ├── info.php.js ├── ping.php.js ├── whisper.php.js └── yell.php.js ├── config.example.php.js ├── constants.php.js ├── errors.php.js ├── examples ├── arrays.php.js ├── conditionals.php.js ├── strings.php.js └── typecasting.php.js ├── functions ├── array_functions.php.js ├── conditional_checks.php.js ├── general_functions.php.js ├── string_functions.php.js └── typecasting.php.js ├── index.php.js ├── package-lock.json └── package.json /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | node_modules 2 | 3 | config.php.js 4 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 |
2 | it's joke 3 |
4 | 5 | # Discord.js Bot (but PHP) 6 | 7 | The most repulsive repo you never wanted to see! 8 | 9 | # FAQ (or something like that) 10 | 11 | ### Wh... Why would you do such a thing? 12 | 13 | I was bored. I needed yet another reason for people to yell at me. This seemed like it'd work well. 14 | 15 | ### Using `var`? Prepending variable names with `$`? Attaching all those functions to `global`?!?! 16 | 17 | ITS. JOKE. 18 | 19 | But there are reasons for each of those. 20 | 21 | * PHP variables are declared and referenced with `$`, so that's a no-brainer. 22 | * PHP variables are function-scoped, just like `var`, so it only makes sense to use `var` over `let` or `const`. 23 | * Attaching functions to `global` is bad, yes, but I couldn't think of any other way to do so. I'd never do such a thing in a real project. You got something better, huh?! (Really, if you do, feel free to create a pull request.) 24 | 25 | ### Some of those functions don't work the exact same as they do in PHP! 26 | 27 | Trust me, I (probably) know. Some are either missing additional parameters, simply can't work the same because of some stupid JavaScript limitation, or some other miscellaneous reason. I tried my best, okay?! 😭 28 | 29 | ### A few of those doc blocks don't look very accurate, or they're a bit inconsistent. Why? 30 | 31 | You can probably blame the PHP docs for some of those. As everyone knows, PHP isn't the most consistent thing in the world. But for inaccurate function/param/return value descriptions, you can probably blame me. I myself probably won't be doing much about it, though. 32 | 33 | ### Did you really spend time and effort into this, all for a joke? 34 | 35 | Yes, yes I did. This is a good measurement of how far I'll go for a joke. 36 | 37 | Did I spend too much time on this? Yes. Could I have spent this time being productive and doing the things I should've been working on instead? Most definitely. Do I regret it at all? Nope! 38 | 39 | Fun fact: I actually occassionally confused myself when looking at this code, because my brain couldn't tell if it was JS or PHP at a glance. With that being said, I think I've achieved the goal of this project. 40 | 41 | ### How do I contribute to this ridiculous project? 42 | 43 | Are you drunk? Not even ***I*** want to contribute. 44 | 45 | ... But if you really want to, feel free to create a pull request - even if it's just for shits 'n giggles. As long as it looks like real PHP, anything goes. 46 | 47 | # Examples 48 | 49 | For the sake of taking this joke even further, I went the extra mile and made an examples folder. You can check them out by running `npm run