├── README.md ├── blackcards.txt ├── injokes.txt └── whitecards.txt /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. 2 | 3 | If you're unfamiliar with the game, check out: http://cardsagainsthumanity.com 4 | 5 | The lovely people at CAH have licenced it under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license, meaning that we can come up with our own expansion packs for added hilarity. 6 | 7 | This is a repo for coming up with cards related to programming general, and specifically iOS development / Objective-C / Cocoa / Swift / Apple. 8 | 9 | For more generic technology jokes, check out Devops Againsts Humanity: https://github.com/bridgetkromhout/devops-against-humanity 10 | 11 | Please keep the format as follows: 12 | 13 | For black cards: 14 | [Black]["Instead of the usual WWDC jacket, next year Apple will be giving out ____________ to developers."] 15 | 16 | For white cards: 17 | [White]["Johnny Ive's invisible burrito."] 18 | 19 | For draw 2 cards, prefix them as follows: 20 | [Draw2][Black]["New App idea: it's like _______ but for ________."] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /blackcards.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | [Black]["Instead of the usual WWDC jacket, next year Apple will be giving out ____________ to developers."] 2 | 3 | [Black]["Why won’t my code compile?"] 4 | 5 | [Black]["My next killer app will be a game changer for ___________."] 6 | 7 | [Black]["Craig's hair is being held up by ________."] 8 | 9 | [Black]["I queued up outside the Apple Store to own their newly announced product, the i_______________."] 10 | 11 | [Black]["Instead of the usual WWDC jacket, next year Apple will be giving out ____________ to developers."] 12 | 13 | [Draw2][Black]["New app idea: it's like _______ but for ________."] 14 | 15 | [Black]["My app crashed and the error that printed out was: ____________________."]; 16 | 17 | [Black]["You have an afternoon in San Francisco. What do you do?"]; 18 | 19 | [Draw2][Black]["I asked Siri about ______ and she responded with ________."] 20 | 21 | [Black]["Apple just Sherlocked my _______."] 22 | 23 | [Black]["The best thing about this year's WWDC was _____."] 24 | 25 | [Black]["One more thing: ________."] 26 | 27 | [Black]["Xcode just crashed when I ________."] 28 | 29 | [Black]["The WiFi is down because _____."] 30 | 31 | [Black]["Performing next year at the WWDC Bash will be ________."] 32 | 33 | [Draw2][Black][“________ caused my app to be rejected from the App Store.”] 34 | 35 | [Black][“________ caused codesigning to fail.”] 36 | 37 | [Black][“_________ caused my users to complain.”] 38 | 39 | [Black]["Jonny Ive cried when I ________."] 40 | 41 | [Black]["I stumped the experts by showing them ________."] 42 | 43 | [Black]["I tried to use Apple maps to get directions and I accidentally ended up ________________."] 44 | 45 | [Draw2][Black]["We are proud to announce OS X __________________."] 46 | 47 | [Black][“Why was I asked to leave a WWDC session?] 48 | 49 | [Black][“I won a WWDC scholarship on the merit of _______ alone.“] 50 | 51 | [Black][“I’m not allowed to tell people what I do at Apple so I tell them that I work on _______.”] 52 | 53 | [Black][“My iPhone 7 runs on _______ instead of batteries.”] 54 | 55 | [Black][“My _______ has chamfered edges.”] 56 | 57 | [Black][“I beat Craig Federighi at _______. He paid me not to tell anyone.”] 58 | 59 | [Black][“I received an email from Apple Developer about because a user blew up _______ with their iPhone.”] 60 | 61 | [Black][“The craziest place I’ve stored my iPhone was in my _______.] 62 | 63 | [Black][“I got fired because I left my iPhone prototype in _______.”] 64 | 65 | [Black][“Apple’s next acquisition will be _______.”] 66 | 67 | [Black][“It’s our best _______ yet.”] 68 | 69 | [Black][“Tim Cook introduces a new product. ‘And we’re calling it _______.’”] 70 | 71 | [Black][“Craig Federighi introduces a new product. ‘And we’re calling it _______.’”] 72 | 73 | [Black][“Phil Schiller introduces a new product. ‘And we’re calling it _______.’”] 74 | 75 | [Black][“And to tell you more about _______, I’d like to invite Craig Federighi back onstage.“] 76 | 77 | [Black][“With just one line of code, you can ____________.”] 78 | 79 | [Black][“We’ve made the __________ 26% thinner.”] 80 | 81 | [Black]["Why does XCODE ____ me?"] 82 | 83 | [Draw2][Black]["XCODE does to ________________, what vi does to ________________."] 84 | 85 | [Black][“Because of my investment in Bitcoin, soon I'll be able to afford ______________.”] 86 | 87 | [Black]["Thanks to the sharing economy, I can now make money renting out my __________________."] 88 | 89 | [Black]["What was the inspiration for my startup?"] 90 | 91 | [Black]["My company was just acquired by ______________."] 92 | 93 | [Black]["At my company, they feed us fresh ______________ at every meal."] 94 | 95 | [Black]["Silicon Valley is full of ______________."] 96 | 97 | [Black]["Facebook just bought ____________ for $3b."] 98 | 99 | [Black]["Rumour has it, the new iPhone has a feature that enables _________."] 100 | 101 | [Black]["What caused my live coding demo to go completely awry?"] 102 | 103 | [Black]["Studies show that programmers write better code after being exposed to ___________."] 104 | 105 | [Black][“What unlocks the Easter Egg in my app?"] 106 | 107 | [Black]["New book coming soon: Swift Development with _______________."] 108 | 109 | [Black]["What is being used to encourage more kids to get into programing?"] 110 | 111 | [Black]["Programmers like _______________"] 112 | 113 | [Black]["I posted on Stack Overflow to get help with ____________"] 114 | 115 | [Draw2][Black]["let ________________ = _______________] 116 | 117 | [Draw2][Black]["if (___________________) { ___________________; } ] 118 | 119 | [Black]["What is Apple hiding from us?"] 120 | 121 | [Black][“140 characters just isn’t enough to explain _____________”] 122 | 123 | [Black][“_________ driven development.”] 124 | 125 | [Black][“_________ is a feature, not a bug.”] 126 | 127 | [Black][“I think I’ll leave ______ off my resumé.”] 128 | 129 | [Black][“In order to improve security, we’re upgrading to ___________.”] 130 | 131 | [Black][“The internet is for cat memes and __________.”] 132 | 133 | [Black][“Your account has exceeded the maximum number of _________.”] 134 | 135 | [Black][“Uber is on surge pricing because of ________.”] 136 | 137 | [Black][“I used the 3D printer to print ___________.”] 138 | 139 | [Black][“Who would have known that ________ could destroy and entire datacenter?”] 140 | 141 | [Black][“I accidentally sent my heartbeat to _________ and got in return a sketch of __________.”] 142 | 143 | [Black][“Welcome to programming 101. The first topic will be __________.”] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /injokes.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | White cards: 2 | 3 | [White][“Tony Gray’s left nipple.”] 4 | 5 | [White]["An anvil animation."] 6 | 7 | [White]["Elf ears."] 8 | 9 | [White]["Tony Abbott’s budgie smugglers."] 10 | 11 | [White]["Eating fush and chups.”] 12 | 13 | [White]["Tony Gray."] 14 | 15 | [White]["The AUC bus tour of Silicon Valley."] 16 | 17 | [White]["Lining up for the WWDC Keynote at 3am".] 18 | 19 | [White]["Throwing wine at the /dev/world quiz judges."] 20 | 21 | [White]["A performance of Gangnam Style at the /dev/world dinner."] 22 | 23 | [White]["A rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody on kazoos."] 24 | 25 | [White]["A cease and desist notice from Nintendo."] 26 | 27 | ---------------------- 28 | 29 | Black cards: 30 | 31 | [Black][“New rule in a game of Chairman Mao: when an ace is drawn, the player must ______________”] 32 | 33 | [Draw2][Black][“The keynote speaker at this years dev world will be _________ talking about ___________.”] 34 | 35 | [Black][“The AUC's budget was blown in one conference when thousands of dollars were spent on _______.”] 36 | 37 | [Black]["Why did Apple pull the AUC funding?"] 38 | 39 | [Black]["The /dev/world conference dinner was completely ruined by __________."] 40 | 41 | [Black]["In order to attract new members, the AUC is resorting to _____________."] 42 | 43 | [Black]["Instead of the screen recording of my presentation, I accidentally gave Tony a video of __________."] 44 | 45 | [Black]["/dev/world would be incomplete without ____________."] 46 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /whitecards.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | [White]["Johnny Ive's invisible burrito."] 2 | 3 | [White]["Craig Federighi’s hair."] 4 | 5 | [White]["Hair Force One."] 6 | 7 | [White]["Swift.”] 8 | 9 | [White]["The Cheesecake Factory."] 10 | 11 | [White]["No more Odwalla."] 12 | 13 | [White]["Lining up for the WWDC Keynote at 3am".] 14 | 15 | [White]["Xcode crashes."] 16 | 17 | [White]["Git merge conflicts."] 18 | 19 | [White]["Winning the WWDC lottery."] 20 | 21 | [White]["Sloppy code."] 22 | 23 | [White]["Phone conference with Dr. Dre."] 24 | 25 | [White]["Road trip to Weed, CA."] 26 | 27 | [White]["Transparency."] 28 | 29 | [White]["Hidden in a private API."] 30 | 31 | [White]["Ordered 4000 lattes from Starbucks."] 32 | 33 | [White]["The taste of garlic on your tongue after having dinner at the Stinking Rose."] 34 | 35 | [White]["Planking on the 1 Infinite Loop Sign."] 36 | 37 | [White]["Seattle’s best coffee."] 38 | 39 | [White]["It just works, seamlessly."] 40 | 41 | [White]["When your start up IPOs."] 42 | 43 | [White]["Turning down $3b from Facebook."] 44 | 45 | [White][“Chamfered edges”] 46 | 47 | [White][“The crazy ones.”] 48 | 49 | [White][“Lunchtime talks at WWDC.”] 50 | 51 | [White][“An Apple Design Award.”] 52 | 53 | [White][“The WWDC Bash.”] 54 | 55 | [White][“Tim Cook is Proud of Apple.”] 56 | 57 | [White][“The Anki Drive Demo.] 58 | 59 | [White][“Places in California are the new big cats.“] 60 | 61 | [White][“Aah-loo-min-ee-um”] 62 | 63 | [White][“Engineered with Precision.”] 64 | 65 | [White][“The line to enter the WWDC keynote.”] 66 | 67 | [White][“Our ‘new’ service, ‘TestFlight’”] 68 | 69 | [White][“Developers. Developers. Developers.”] 70 | 71 | [White][“Journalists photographing Moscone Center a week before WWDC.”] 72 | 73 | [White][“Phil Schiller’s new movie: ‘The Black Knight.’”] 74 | 75 | [White][“Continuity”] 76 | 77 | [White][“Tim Cook’s southern accent.”] 78 | 79 | [White][“The line/queue was too long.”] 80 | 81 | [White][“It’s available. Today.”] 82 | 83 | [White][“Steve Jobs”] 84 | 85 | [White][“Tim Cook”] 86 | 87 | [White][“Craig Federighi”] 88 | 89 | [White][“Phil Schiller”] 90 | 91 | [White][“Jony Ive”] 92 | 93 | [White][“Bob Mansfield”] 94 | 95 | [White][“Steve Wozniak”] 96 | 97 | [White][“Scott Forstall”] 98 | 99 | [White][“Your neighborhood friendly Apple developer evangelist.”] 100 | 101 | [White][“We think you’re going to love it.”] 102 | 103 | [White][“Gradients”] 104 | 105 | [White][“Jony Ive’s grey shirt”] 106 | 107 | [White]["Literal constructs are quicker than alloc init."] 108 | 109 | [White]["Because of an enum"] 110 | 111 | [White]["Literals beat alloc inits"] 112 | 113 | [White]["Structs before Objects"] 114 | 115 | [White]["Structs have functions?"] 116 | 117 | [White]["Because Swift"] 118 | 119 | [White]["G4 Cube vs 25th Anniversary Mac"] 120 | 121 | [White]["NSEverything"] 122 | 123 | [White]["Jony Ive with a Craig Federighi wig"] 124 | 125 | [White]["Xcode hates me"] 126 | 127 | [White]["Green bubble friends"] 128 | 129 | [White]["[REDACTED]"] 130 | 131 | [White][“NSLocalizedDescriptionKey.. *undo* NSLog…”] 132 | 133 | [White][“AVPlayerLayer* playerLayer = [AVPlayerLayer playerLayerWithPlayer:player];”] 134 | 135 | [White]["Toxic Hell Stew."] 136 | 137 | [White]["Taking a selfie with Craig Federighi."] 138 | 139 | [White]["Flappy Bird."] 140 | 141 | [White] [“A free U2 album.”] 142 | 143 | [White] [“A gold Apple Watch.”] 144 | 145 | [White] [“It’s time to stand up.”] 146 | 147 | [White] [“Always on. Worldwide.”] 148 | 149 | [White] [“A karaoke party with Phil Schiller.”] 150 | 151 | [White] [“Running a buggy beta of iOS on your primary device.”] 152 | 153 | [White] [“More buzzwords than you can shake a scrum at.”] 154 | 155 | [White] [“A 3.5" floppy disk.”] 156 | 157 | [White] [“DiscoveryD”] 158 | 159 | [White] [“Neckbeards.”] 160 | 161 | [White] [“A semicolon.”] 162 | 163 | [White][“A website with dancing GIFs.”] 164 | 165 | [White][“Force touch.”] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------