├── .gitignore ├── answer ├── mooc答案.pdf ├── 第5份.png ├── 第四份.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第10周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第11周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第3周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第4周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第6周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第8周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络-课堂测验-2017春-第9周-参考答案.pdf ├── 计算机网络.pdf └── 计算机网络习题.pdf ├── ppt ├── chapter6-物理层.pdf ├── chapter7-移动网络.pdf ├── 传输层 │ ├── L300.pdf │ ├── L301.pdf │ ├── L302.pdf │ ├── L303.pdf │ ├── L304.pdf │ ├── L305.pdf │ ├── L306.pdf │ ├── L307.pdf │ ├── L308.pdf │ ├── L309.pdf │ ├── L310.pdf │ ├── L311.pdf │ ├── L312.pdf │ ├── L313.pdf │ ├── L314.pdf │ ├── L315.pdf │ ├── L316.pdf │ ├── L317.pdf │ ├── L318.pdf │ └── L319.pdf ├── 应用层 │ ├── L201.pdf │ ├── L202.pdf │ ├── L203.pdf │ ├── L204.pdf │ ├── L205.pdf │ ├── L206.pdf │ ├── L207.pdf │ ├── L208.pdf │ ├── L209.pdf │ ├── L210.pdf │ ├── L211.pdf │ ├── L212.pdf │ ├── L213.pdf │ ├── L214.pdf │ └── L27_Socket.pdf ├── 绪论 │ ├── L01.pdf │ ├── L02.pdf │ ├── L03.pdf │ ├── L04.pdf │ ├── L05.pdf │ ├── L06.pdf │ ├── L07_01.pdf │ ├── L07_02.pdf │ ├── L07_03.pdf │ ├── L08_01.pdf │ ├── L08_02.pdf │ ├── L09.pdf │ ├── L10_01.pdf │ ├── L10_02.pdf │ ├── L10_03.pdf │ └── L11.pdf ├── 网络层 │ ├── L01.pdf │ ├── L02.pdf │ ├── L03.pdf │ ├── L04_CIDR.pdf │ ├── L04_IP_1.pdf │ ├── L04_IP_2.pdf │ ├── L04_IP_3.pdf │ ├── L04_IP_4.pdf │ ├── L04_IP_5.pdf │ ├── L05_DHCP.pdf │ ├── L06_NAT.pdf │ ├── L07_ICMP.pdf │ ├── L08_IPv6.pdf │ ├── L09.pdf │ ├── L10.pdf │ ├── L11_1.pdf │ ├── L11_2.pdf │ ├── L12.pdf │ ├── L13_RIP.pdf │ ├── L14_OSPF.pdf │ └── L15_BGP.pdf ├── 课堂教学.pdf └── 链路层 │ ├── L301.pdf │ ├── L302.pdf │ ├── L303.pdf │ ├── L304.pdf │ ├── L305.pdf │ ├── L306.pdf │ ├── L307.pdf │ ├── L308_1.pdf │ ├── L308_2.pdf │ ├── L309.pdf │ ├── L310.pdf │ └── L311.pdf ├── 实验 ├── 实验一 │ ├── 1170300513-陈鋆-实验一-version2.pdf │ └── lab1 │ │ ├── HttpHeader.java │ │ ├── Proxy.java │ │ ├── Proxy2.java │ │ ├── ProxyThread.java │ │ └── test.java ├── 实验三 │ ├── 1170300513-陈鋆-实验3.pdf │ └── e8.pkt ├── 实验二 │ ├── 1170300513-陈鋆-实验2.pdf │ └── lab2 │ │ ├── ACK.java │ │ ├── GBND1.java │ │ ├── GBND2.java │ │ ├── GBNR.java │ │ ├── GBNS.java │ │ ├── SRR.java │ │ ├── SRS.java │ │ ├── StopWaitD1.java │ │ ├── StopWaitD2.java │ │ ├── StopWaitR.java │ │ ├── StopWaitS.java │ │ ├── data.txt │ │ ├── receivedata.txt │ │ └── test.java └── 实验四 │ ├── 1170300513-陈鋆-实验4.doc │ ├── 1170300513-陈鋆-实验4.pdf │ └── alice.txt └── 课堂讨论 ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论1.docx ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论2.docx ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论3.docx ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论4.docx ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论5.docx ├── 计算机网络课堂讨论6.docx └── 计算机网络课堂讨论7.docx /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | # Byte-compiled / optimized / DLL files 3 | __pycache__/ 4 | *.py[cod] 5 | *$py.class 6 | 7 | # C extensions 8 | *.so 9 | 10 | # Distribution / packaging 11 | .Python 12 | build/ 13 | develop-eggs/ 14 | dist/ 15 | downloads/ 16 | eggs/ 17 | .eggs/ 18 | lib/ 19 | lib64/ 20 | parts/ 21 | sdist/ 22 | var/ 23 | wheels/ 24 | share/python-wheels/ 25 | *.egg-info/ 26 | .installed.cfg 27 | *.egg 28 | MANIFEST 29 | 30 | # PyInstaller 31 | # Usually these files are written by a python script from a template 32 | # before PyInstaller builds the exe, so as to inject date/other infos into it. 33 | *.manifest 34 | *.spec 35 | 36 | # Installer logs 37 | pip-log.txt 38 | pip-delete-this-directory.txt 39 | 40 | # Unit test / coverage reports 41 | htmlcov/ 42 | .tox/ 43 | .nox/ 44 | .coverage 45 | .coverage.* 46 | .cache 47 | nosetests.xml 48 | coverage.xml 49 | *.cover 50 | *.py,cover 51 | .hypothesis/ 52 | .pytest_cache/ 53 | cover/ 54 | 55 | # Translations 56 | *.mo 57 | *.pot 58 | 59 | # Django stuff: 60 | *.log 61 | local_settings.py 62 | db.sqlite3 63 | db.sqlite3-journal 64 | 65 | # Flask stuff: 66 | instance/ 67 | .webassets-cache 68 | 69 | # Scrapy stuff: 70 | .scrapy 71 | 72 | # Sphinx documentation 73 | docs/_build/ 74 | 75 | # PyBuilder 76 | .pybuilder/ 77 | target/ 78 | 79 | # Jupyter Notebook 80 | .ipynb_checkpoints 81 | 82 | # IPython 83 | profile_default/ 84 | ipython_config.py 85 | 86 | # pyenv 87 | # For a library or package, you might want to ignore these files since the code is 88 | # intended to run in multiple environments; otherwise, check them in: 89 | # .python-version 90 | 91 | # pipenv 92 | # According to pypa/pipenv#598, it is recommended to include Pipfile.lock in version control. 93 | # However, in case of collaboration, if having platform-specific dependencies or dependencies 94 | # having no cross-platform support, pipenv may install dependencies that don't work, or not 95 | # install all needed dependencies. 96 | #Pipfile.lock 97 | 98 | # PEP 582; used by e.g. github.com/David-OConnor/pyflow 99 | __pypackages__/ 100 | 101 | # Celery stuff 102 | celerybeat-schedule 103 | celerybeat.pid 104 | 105 | # SageMath parsed files 106 | *.sage.py 107 | 108 | # Environments 109 | .env 110 | .venv 111 | env/ 112 | venv/ 113 | ENV/ 114 | env.bak/ 115 | venv.bak/ 116 | 117 | # Spyder project settings 118 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daisy-chain would be worth the trouble 24 | of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White 25 | Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. 26 | 27 | There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice 28 | think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to 29 | itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought 30 | it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have 31 | wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); 32 | but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- 33 | POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to 34 | her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never 35 | before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to 36 | take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the 37 | field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop 38 | down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. 39 | 40 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once 41 | considering how in the world she was to get out again. 42 | 43 | The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, 44 | and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a 45 | moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself 46 | falling down a very deep well. 47 | 48 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she 49 | had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to 50 | wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look 51 | down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to 52 | see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and 53 | noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; 54 | here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She 55 | took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was 56 | labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it 57 | was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing 58 | somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she 59 | fell past it. 60 | 61 | `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I 62 | shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll 63 | all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, 64 | even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely 65 | true.) 66 | 67 | Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I 68 | wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 69 | `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let 70 | me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, 71 | you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her 72 | lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good 73 | opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to 74 | listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, 75 | that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude 76 | or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, 77 | or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to 78 | say.) 79 | 80 | Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right 81 | THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the 82 | people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I 83 | think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this 84 | time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall 85 | have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. 86 | Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried 87 | to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling 88 | through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what 89 | an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll 90 | never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' 91 | 92 | Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon 93 | began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I 94 | should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember 95 | her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were 96 | down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but 97 | you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. 98 | But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get 99 | rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of 100 | way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do 101 | bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either 102 | question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt 103 | that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she 104 | was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very 105 | earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a 106 | bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of 107 | sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. 108 | 109 | Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a 110 | moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her 111 | was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in 112 | sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: 113 | away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it 114 | say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late 115 | it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the 116 | corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found 117 | herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps 118 | hanging from the roof. 119 | 120 | There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; 121 | and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the 122 | other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 123 | wondering how she was ever to get out again. 124 | 125 | Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of 126 | solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, 127 | and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the 128 | doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or 129 | the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of 130 | them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low 131 | curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little 132 | door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key 133 | in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! 134 | 135 | Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small 136 | passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and 137 | looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 138 | How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about 139 | among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but 140 | she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if 141 | my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of 142 | very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish 143 | I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only 144 | know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things 145 | had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few 146 | things indeed were really impossible. 147 | 148 | There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she 149 | went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on 150 | it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like 151 | telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which 152 | certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck 153 | of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' 154 | beautifully printed on it in large letters. 155 | 156 | It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little 157 | Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look 158 | first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; 159 | for she had read several nice little histories about children who 160 | had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant 161 | things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules 162 | their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker 163 | will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your 164 | finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had 165 | never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 166 | `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or 167 | later. 168 | 169 | However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured 170 | to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort 171 | of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast 172 | turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished 173 | it off. 174 | 175 | * * * * * * * 176 | 177 | * * * * * * 178 | 179 | * * * * * * * 180 | 181 | `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up 182 | like a telescope.' 183 | 184 | And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and 185 | her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right 186 | size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. 187 | First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was 188 | going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about 189 | this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my 190 | going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be 191 | like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is 192 | like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember 193 | ever having seen such a thing. 194 | 195 | After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided 196 | on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! 197 | when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the 198 | little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, 199 | she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it 200 | quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb 201 | up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; 202 | and when she had tired herself out with trying, 203 | the poor little thing sat down and cried. 204 | 205 | `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to 206 | herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' 207 | She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very 208 | seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so 209 | severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered 210 | trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 211 | of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious 212 | child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no 213 | use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, 214 | there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable 215 | person!' 216 | 217 | Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under 218 | the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on 219 | which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 220 | `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, 221 | I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep 222 | under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I 223 | don't care which happens!' 224 | 225 | She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which 226 | way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to 227 | feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to 228 | find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally 229 | happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the 230 | way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, 231 | that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the 232 | common way. 233 | 234 | So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. 235 | 236 | * * * * * * * 237 | 238 | * * * * * * 239 | 240 | * * * * * * * 241 | 242 | 243 | 244 | 245 | CHAPTER II 246 | 247 | The Pool of Tears 248 | 249 | 250 | `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much 251 | surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good 252 | English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that 253 | ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her 254 | feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so 255 | far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on 256 | your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't 257 | be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself 258 | about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be 259 | kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the 260 | way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of 261 | boots every Christmas.' 262 | 263 | And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 264 | `They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll 265 | seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the 266 | directions will look! 267 | 268 | ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. 269 | HEARTHRUG, 270 | NEAR THE FENDER, 271 | (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). 272 | 273 | Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' 274 | 275 | Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in 276 | fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took 277 | up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. 278 | 279 | Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one 280 | side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get 281 | through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to 282 | cry again. 283 | 284 | `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great 285 | girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in 286 | this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all 287 | the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool 288 | all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the 289 | hall. 290 | 291 | After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the 292 | distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. 293 | It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a 294 | pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the 295 | other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to 296 | himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she 297 | be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate 298 | that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit 299 | came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please, 300 | sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid 301 | gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard 302 | as he could go. 303 | 304 | Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very 305 | hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 306 | `Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday 307 | things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in 308 | the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this 309 | morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little 310 | different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in 311 | the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began 312 | thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age 313 | as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of 314 | them. 315 | 316 | `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such 317 | long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm 318 | sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, 319 | oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, 320 | and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the 321 | things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 322 | and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! 323 | I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the 324 | Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. 325 | London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, 326 | and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been 327 | changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' 328 | and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, 329 | and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and 330 | strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:-- 331 | 332 | `How doth the little crocodile 333 | Improve his shining tail, 334 | And pour the waters of the Nile 335 | On every golden scale! 336 | 337 | `How cheerfully he seems to grin, 338 | How neatly spread his claws, 339 | And welcome little fishes in 340 | With gently smiling jaws!' 341 | 342 | `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and 343 | her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel 344 | after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little 345 | house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so 346 | many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm 347 | Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their 348 | heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look 349 | up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I 350 | like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down 351 | here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a 352 | sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads 353 | down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!' 354 | 355 | As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was 356 | surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little 357 | white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done 358 | that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up 359 | and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, 360 | as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, 361 | and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the 362 | cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it 363 | hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 364 | 365 | `That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at 366 | the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in 367 | existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed 368 | back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut 369 | again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as 370 | before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, 371 | `for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare 372 | it's too bad, that it is!' 373 | 374 | As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another 375 | moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first 376 | idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that 377 | case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had 378 | been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general 379 | conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find 380 | a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in 381 | the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and 382 | behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that 383 | she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 384 | feet high. 385 | 386 | `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, 387 | trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I 388 | suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer 389 | thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.' 390 | 391 | Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a 392 | little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at 393 | first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then 394 | she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that 395 | it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. 396 | 397 | `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this 398 | mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should 399 | think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in 400 | trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of 401 | this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' 402 | (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: 403 | she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having 404 | seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a 405 | mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather 406 | inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little 407 | eyes, but it said nothing. 408 | 409 | `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I 410 | daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the 411 | Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had 412 | no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she 413 | began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in 414 | her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the 415 | water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg 416 | your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the 417 | poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' 418 | 419 | `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate 420 | voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?' 421 | 422 | `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be 423 | angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: 424 | I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. 425 | She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, 426 | as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so 427 | nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and 428 | she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital 429 | one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, 430 | for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt 431 | certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any 432 | more if you'd rather not.' 433 | 434 | `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end 435 | of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family 436 | always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear 437 | the name again!' 438 | 439 | `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the 440 | subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' 441 | The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is 442 | such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! 443 | A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly 444 | brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and 445 | it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I 446 | can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you 447 | know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! 448 | He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a 449 | sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the 450 | Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and 451 | making quite a commotion in the pool as it went. 452 | 453 | So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back 454 | again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't 455 | like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam 456 | slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 457 | thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to 458 | the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll 459 | understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' 460 | 461 | It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded 462 | with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a 463 | Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious 464 | creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the 465 | shore. 466 | 467 | 468 | 469 | CHAPTER III 470 | 471 | A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 472 | 473 | 474 | They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the 475 | bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their 476 | fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and 477 | uncomfortable. 478 | 479 | The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they 480 | had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed 481 | quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with 482 | them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had 483 | quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 484 | and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; 485 | and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, 486 | and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no 487 | more to be said. 488 | 489 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among 490 | them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL 491 | soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large 492 | ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes 493 | anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad 494 | cold if she did not get dry very soon. 495 | 496 | `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? 497 | This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! 498 | "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was 499 | soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been 500 | of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and 501 | Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' 502 | 503 | `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. 504 | 505 | `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very 506 | politely: `Did you speak?' 507 | 508 | `Not I!' said the Lory hastily. 509 | 510 | `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and 511 | Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: 512 | and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found 513 | it advisable--"' 514 | 515 | `Found WHAT?' said the Duck. 516 | 517 | `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you 518 | know what "it" means.' 519 | 520 | `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said 521 | the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, 522 | what did the archbishop find?' 523 | 524 | The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, 525 | `"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William 526 | and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was 527 | moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you 528 | getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it 529 | spoke. 530 | 531 | `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't 532 | seem to dry me at all.' 533 | 534 | `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I 535 | move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more 536 | energetic remedies--' 537 | 538 | `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of 539 | half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do 540 | either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: 541 | some of the other birds tittered audibly. 542 | 543 | `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 544 | `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' 545 | 546 | `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much 547 | to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY 548 | ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 549 | 550 | `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' 551 | (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter 552 | day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) 553 | 554 | First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the 555 | exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party 556 | were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, 557 | two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, 558 | and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know 559 | when the race was over. However, when they had been running half 560 | an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called 561 | out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, 562 | and asking, `But who has won?' 563 | 564 | This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of 565 | thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon 566 | its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, 567 | in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At 568 | last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have 569 | prizes.' 570 | 571 | `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices 572 | asked. 573 | 574 | `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with 575 | one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, 576 | calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!' 577 | 578 | Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand 579 | in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt 580 | water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. 581 | There was exactly one a-piece all round. 582 | 583 | `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. 584 | 585 | `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have 586 | you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. 587 | 588 | `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. 589 | 590 | `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. 591 | 592 | Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo 593 | solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of 594 | this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short 595 | speech, they all cheered. 596 | 597 | Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked 598 | so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not 599 | think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, 600 | looking as solemn as she could. 601 | 602 | The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise 603 | and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not 604 | taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on 605 | the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again 606 | in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. 607 | 608 | `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 609 | `and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half 610 | afraid that it would be offended again. 611 | 612 | `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to 613 | Alice, and sighing. 614 | 615 | `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with 616 | wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And 617 | she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so 618 | that her idea of the tale was something like this:-- 619 | 620 | `Fury said to a 621 | mouse, That he 622 | met in the 623 | house, 624 | "Let us 625 | both go to 626 | law: I will 627 | prosecute 628 | YOU. --Come, 629 | I'll take no 630 | denial; We 631 | must have a 632 | trial: For 633 | really this 634 | morning I've 635 | nothing 636 | to do." 637 | Said the 638 | mouse to the 639 | cur, "Such 640 | a trial, 641 | dear Sir, 642 | With 643 | no jury 644 | or judge, 645 | would be 646 | wasting 647 | our 648 | breath." 649 | "I'll be 650 | judge, I'll 651 | be jury," 652 | Said 653 | cunning 654 | old Fury: 655 | "I'll 656 | try the 657 | whole 658 | cause, 659 | and 660 | condemn 661 | you 662 | to 663 | death."' 664 | 665 | 666 | `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 667 | `What are you thinking of?' 668 | 669 | `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to 670 | the fifth bend, I think?' 671 | 672 | `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. 673 | 674 | `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and 675 | looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!' 676 | 677 | `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up 678 | and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!' 679 | 680 | `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily 681 | offended, you know!' 682 | 683 | The Mouse only growled in reply. 684 | 685 | `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after 686 | it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but 687 | the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 688 | quicker. 689 | 690 | `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it 691 | was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of 692 | saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you 693 | never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the 694 | young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the 695 | patience of an oyster!' 696 | 697 | `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, 698 | addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!' 699 | 700 | `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' 701 | said the Lory. 702 | 703 | Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about 704 | her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for 705 | catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her 706 | after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look 707 | at it!' 708 | 709 | This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. 710 | Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began 711 | wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be 712 | getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary 713 | called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my 714 | dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts 715 | they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. 716 | 717 | `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a 718 | melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm 719 | sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I 720 | wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice 721 | began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. 722 | In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of 723 | footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping 724 | that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to 725 | finish his story. 726 | 727 | 728 | 729 | CHAPTER IV 730 | 731 | The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 732 | 733 | 734 | It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and 735 | looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; 736 | and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! 737 | Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me 738 | executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have 739 | dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was 740 | looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she 741 | very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were 742 | nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her 743 | swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and 744 | the little door, had vanished completely. 745 | 746 | Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, 747 | and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE 748 | you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of 749 | gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened 750 | that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without 751 | trying to explain the mistake it had made. 752 | 753 | `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 754 | `How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd 755 | better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' 756 | As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door 757 | of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT' 758 | engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried 759 | upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, 760 | and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and 761 | gloves. 762 | 763 | `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going 764 | messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on 765 | messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that 766 | would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready 767 | for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see 768 | that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went 769 | on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering 770 | people about like that!' 771 | 772 | By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with 773 | a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two 774 | or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and 775 | a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when 776 | her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- 777 | glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' 778 | but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know 779 | SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, 780 | `whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this 781 | bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for 782 | really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' 783 | 784 | It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: 785 | before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing 786 | against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being 787 | broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 788 | `That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I 789 | can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 790 | much!' 791 | 792 | Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and 793 | growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in 794 | another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried 795 | the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the 796 | other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, 797 | as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one 798 | foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, 799 | whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' 800 | 801 | Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full 802 | effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, 803 | and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting 804 | out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. 805 | 806 | `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one 807 | wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about 808 | by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that 809 | rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, 810 | this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! 811 | When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing 812 | never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There 813 | ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when 814 | I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a 815 | sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more 816 | HERE.' 817 | 818 | `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I 819 | am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-- 820 | but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' 821 | 822 | `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you 823 | learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no 824 | room at all for any lesson-books!' 825 | 826 | And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, 827 | and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few 828 | minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 829 | 830 | `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves 831 | this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the 832 | stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and 833 | she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she 834 | was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no 835 | reason to be afraid of it. 836 | 837 | Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; 838 | but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed 839 | hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it 840 | say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.' 841 | 842 | `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she 843 | fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly 844 | spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not 845 | get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, 846 | and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was 847 | just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something 848 | of the sort. 849 | 850 | Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are 851 | you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then 852 | I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!' 853 | 854 | `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! 855 | Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) 856 | 857 | `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' 858 | 859 | `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.') 860 | 861 | `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it 862 | fills the whole window!' 863 | 864 | `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' 865 | 866 | `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it 867 | away!' 868 | 869 | There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear 870 | whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer 871 | honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at 872 | last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in 873 | the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more 874 | sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there 875 | must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for 876 | pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I 877 | don't want to stay in here any longer!' 878 | 879 | She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at 880 | last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a 881 | good many voices all talking together: she made out the words: 882 | `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; 883 | Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up 884 | at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half 885 | high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-- 886 | Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind 887 | that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud 888 | crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go 889 | down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, 890 | then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to 891 | go down the chimney!' 892 | 893 | `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said 894 | Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! 895 | I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is 896 | narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!' 897 | 898 | She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and 899 | waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what 900 | sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close 901 | above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one 902 | sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. 903 | 904 | The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes 905 | Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the 906 | hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold 907 | up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? 908 | What happened to you? Tell us all about it!' 909 | 910 | Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' 911 | thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm 912 | better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know 913 | is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes 914 | like a sky-rocket!' 915 | 916 | `So you did, old fellow!' said the others. 917 | 918 | `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and 919 | Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set 920 | Dinah at you!' 921 | 922 | There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to 923 | herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any 924 | sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they 925 | began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A 926 | barrowful will do, to begin with.' 927 | 928 | `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to 929 | doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came 930 | rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. 931 | `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 932 | `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead 933 | silence. 934 | 935 | Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all 936 | turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright 937 | idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she 938 | thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it 939 | can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I 940 | suppose.' 941 | 942 | So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find 943 | that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small 944 | enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and 945 | found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. 946 | The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by 947 | two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 948 | They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she 949 | ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a 950 | thick wood. 951 | 952 | `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she 953 | wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; 954 | and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. 955 | I think that will be the best plan.' 956 | 957 | It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and 958 | simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the 959 | smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering 960 | about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over 961 | her head made her look up in a great hurry. 962 | 963 | An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round 964 | eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 965 | `Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried 966 | hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the 967 | time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it 968 | would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 969 | 970 | Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of 971 | stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped 972 | into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, 973 | and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice 974 | dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run 975 | over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 976 | made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in 977 | its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very 978 | like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 979 | moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle 980 | again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the 981 | stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long 982 | way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat 983 | down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its 984 | mouth, and its great eyes half shut. 985 | 986 | This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; 987 | so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out 988 | of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the 989 | distance. 990 | 991 | `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she 992 | leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself 993 | with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks 994 | very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh 995 | dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let 996 | me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or 997 | drink something or other; but the great question is, what?' 998 | 999 | The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round 1000 | her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see 1001 | anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under 1002 | the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, 1003 | about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under 1004 | it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her 1005 | that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. 1006 | 1007 | She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of 1008 | the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large 1009 | caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, 1010 | quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice 1011 | of her or of anything else. 1012 | 1013 | 1014 | 1015 | CHAPTER V 1016 | 1017 | Advice from a Caterpillar 1018 | 1019 | 1020 | The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in 1021 | silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1022 | mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 1023 | 1024 | `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. 1025 | 1026 | This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice 1027 | replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- 1028 | at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think 1029 | I must have been changed several times since then.' 1030 | 1031 | `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 1032 | `Explain yourself!' 1033 | 1034 | `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because 1035 | I'm not myself, you see.' 1036 | 1037 | `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. 1038 | 1039 | `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very 1040 | politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and 1041 | being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' 1042 | 1043 | `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. 1044 | 1045 | `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but 1046 | when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you 1047 | know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll 1048 | feel it a little queer, won't you?' 1049 | 1050 | `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. 1051 | 1052 | `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 1053 | `all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.' 1054 | 1055 | `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?' 1056 | 1057 | Which brought them back again to the beginning of the 1058 | conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's 1059 | making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, 1060 | very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' 1061 | 1062 | `Why?' said the Caterpillar. 1063 | 1064 | Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not 1065 | think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in 1066 | a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. 1067 | 1068 | `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something 1069 | important to say!' 1070 | 1071 | This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back 1072 | again. 1073 | 1074 | `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. 1075 | 1076 | `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as 1077 | she could. 1078 | 1079 | `No,' said the Caterpillar. 1080 | 1081 | Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else 1082 | to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth 1083 | hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but 1084 | at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth 1085 | again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' 1086 | 1087 | `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as 1088 | I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' 1089 | 1090 | `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. 1091 | 1092 | `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it 1093 | all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 1094 | 1095 | `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. 1096 | 1097 | Alice folded her hands, and began:-- 1098 | 1099 | `You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 1100 | `And your hair has become very white; 1101 | And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- 1102 | Do you think, at your age, it is right?' 1103 | 1104 | `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 1105 | `I feared it might injure the brain; 1106 | But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, 1107 | Why, I do it again and again.' 1108 | 1109 | `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, 1110 | And have grown most uncommonly fat; 1111 | Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- 1112 | Pray, what is the reason of that?' 1113 | 1114 | `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1115 | `I kept all my limbs very supple 1116 | By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- 1117 | Allow me to sell you a couple?' 1118 | 1119 | `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak 1120 | For anything tougher than suet; 1121 | Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- 1122 | Pray how did you manage to do it?' 1123 | 1124 | `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, 1125 | And argued each case with my wife; 1126 | And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 1127 | Has lasted the rest of my life.' 1128 | 1129 | `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose 1130 | That your eye was as steady as ever; 1131 | Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- 1132 | What made you so awfully clever?' 1133 | 1134 | `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' 1135 | Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! 1136 | Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 1137 | Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' 1138 | 1139 | 1140 | `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. 1141 | 1142 | `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the 1143 | words have got altered.' 1144 | 1145 | `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar 1146 | decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. 1147 | 1148 | The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 1149 | 1150 | `What size do you want to be?' it asked. 1151 | 1152 | `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 1153 | `only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.' 1154 | 1155 | `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. 1156 | 1157 | Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in 1158 | her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. 1159 | 1160 | `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. 1161 | 1162 | `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you 1163 | wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched 1164 | height to be.' 1165 | 1166 | `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar 1167 | angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three 1168 | inches high). 1169 | 1170 | `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. 1171 | And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so 1172 | easily offended!' 1173 | 1174 | `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it 1175 | put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. 1176 | 1177 | This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. 1178 | In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1179 | mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got 1180 | down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely 1181 | remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and 1182 | the other side will make you grow shorter.' 1183 | 1184 | `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to 1185 | herself. 1186 | 1187 | `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had 1188 | asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. 1189 | 1190 | Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a 1191 | minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as 1192 | it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. 1193 | However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they 1194 | would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 1195 | 1196 | `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a 1197 | little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment 1198 | she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her 1199 | foot! 1200 | 1201 | She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but 1202 | she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking 1203 | rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. 1204 | Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was 1205 | hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and 1206 | managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. 1207 | 1208 | 1209 | * * * * * * * 1210 | 1211 | * * * * * * 1212 | 1213 | * * * * * * * 1214 | 1215 | `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of 1216 | delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she 1217 | found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could 1218 | see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which 1219 | seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay 1220 | far below her. 1221 | 1222 | `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where 1223 | HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I 1224 | can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no 1225 | result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the 1226 | distant green leaves. 1227 | 1228 | As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her 1229 | head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted 1230 | to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, 1231 | like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a 1232 | graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which 1233 | she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she 1234 | had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a 1235 | hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating 1236 | her violently with its wings. 1237 | 1238 | `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. 1239 | 1240 | `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!' 1241 | 1242 | `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more 1243 | subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every 1244 | way, and nothing seems to suit them!' 1245 | 1246 | `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said 1247 | Alice. 1248 | 1249 | `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've 1250 | tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but 1251 | those serpents! There's no pleasing them!' 1252 | 1253 | Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no 1254 | use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. 1255 | 1256 | `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the 1257 | Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and 1258 | day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' 1259 | 1260 | `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was 1261 | beginning to see its meaning. 1262 | 1263 | `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued 1264 | the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was 1265 | thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come 1266 | wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' 1267 | 1268 | `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm 1269 | a--' 1270 | 1271 | `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're 1272 | trying to invent something!' 1273 | 1274 | `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she 1275 | remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day. 1276 | 1277 | `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the 1278 | deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my 1279 | time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a 1280 | serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be 1281 | telling me next that you never tasted an egg!' 1282 | 1283 | `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very 1284 | truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as 1285 | serpents do, you know.' 1286 | 1287 | `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why 1288 | then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' 1289 | 1290 | This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent 1291 | for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of 1292 | adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and 1293 | what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a 1294 | serpent?' 1295 | 1296 | `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm 1297 | not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't 1298 | want YOURS: I don't like them raw.' 1299 | 1300 | `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it 1301 | settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the 1302 | trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled 1303 | among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and 1304 | untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the 1305 | pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very 1306 | carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and 1307 | growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had 1308 | succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. 1309 | 1310 | It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, 1311 | that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a 1312 | few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, 1313 | there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes 1314 | are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to 1315 | another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next 1316 | thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be 1317 | done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an 1318 | open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 1319 | `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come 1320 | upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their 1321 | wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did 1322 | not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself 1323 | down to nine inches high. 1324 | 1325 | 1326 | 1327 | CHAPTER VI 1328 | 1329 | Pig and Pepper 1330 | 1331 | 1332 | For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and 1333 | wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came 1334 | running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman 1335 | because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, 1336 | she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door 1337 | with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, 1338 | with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, 1339 | Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their 1340 | heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and 1341 | crept a little way out of the wood to listen. 1342 | 1343 | The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great 1344 | letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to 1345 | the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An 1346 | invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman 1347 | repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 1348 | words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess 1349 | to play croquet.' 1350 | 1351 | Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled 1352 | together. 1353 | 1354 | Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into 1355 | the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped 1356 | out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the 1357 | ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. 1358 | 1359 | Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 1360 | 1361 | `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and 1362 | that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the 1363 | door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise 1364 | inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was 1365 | a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling 1366 | and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish 1367 | or kettle had been broken to pieces. 1368 | 1369 | `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?' 1370 | 1371 | `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went 1372 | on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For 1373 | instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let 1374 | you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time 1375 | he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But 1376 | perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so 1377 | VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might 1378 | answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud. 1379 | 1380 | `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--' 1381 | 1382 | At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate 1383 | came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just 1384 | grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees 1385 | behind him. 1386 | 1387 | `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, 1388 | exactly as if nothing had happened. 1389 | 1390 | `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. 1391 | 1392 | `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the 1393 | first question, you know.' 1394 | 1395 | It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 1396 | `It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the 1397 | creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!' 1398 | 1399 | The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for 1400 | repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he 1401 | said, `on and off, for days and days.' 1402 | 1403 | `But what am I to do?' said Alice. 1404 | 1405 | `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. 1406 | 1407 | `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 1408 | `he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. 1409 | 1410 | The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of 1411 | smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a 1412 | three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was 1413 | leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to 1414 | be full of soup. 1415 | 1416 | `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to 1417 | herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 1418 | 1419 | There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the 1420 | Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was 1421 | sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The 1422 | only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, 1423 | and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 1424 | ear to ear. 1425 | 1426 | `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for 1427 | she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to 1428 | speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' 1429 | 1430 | `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!' 1431 | 1432 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice 1433 | quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed 1434 | to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on 1435 | again:-- 1436 | 1437 | `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I 1438 | didn't know that cats COULD grin.' 1439 | 1440 | `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' 1441 | 1442 | `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, 1443 | feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. 1444 | 1445 | `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' 1446 | 1447 | Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought 1448 | it would be as well to introduce some other subject of 1449 | conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took 1450 | the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work 1451 | throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby 1452 | --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, 1453 | plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when 1454 | they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it 1455 | was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 1456 | 1457 | `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up 1458 | and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS 1459 | nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very 1460 | nearly carried it off. 1461 | 1462 | `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a 1463 | hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it 1464 | does.' 1465 | 1466 | `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very 1467 | glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her 1468 | knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day 1469 | and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn 1470 | round on its axis--' 1471 | 1472 | `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' 1473 | 1474 | Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant 1475 | to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and 1476 | seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four 1477 | hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' 1478 | 1479 | `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide 1480 | figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, 1481 | singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a 1482 | violent shake at the end of every line: 1483 | 1484 | `Speak roughly to your little boy, 1485 | And beat him when he sneezes: 1486 | He only does it to annoy, 1487 | Because he knows it teases.' 1488 | 1489 | CHORUS. 1490 | 1491 | (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- 1492 | 1493 | `Wow! wow! wow!' 1494 | 1495 | While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept 1496 | tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing 1497 | howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- 1498 | 1499 | `I speak severely to my boy, 1500 | I beat him when he sneezes; 1501 | For he can thoroughly enjoy 1502 | The pepper when he pleases!' 1503 | 1504 | CHORUS. 1505 | 1506 | `Wow! wow! wow!' 1507 | 1508 | `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said 1509 | to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and 1510 | get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of 1511 | the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, 1512 | but it just missed her. 1513 | 1514 | Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- 1515 | shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all 1516 | directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor 1517 | little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, 1518 | and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, 1519 | so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 1520 | as she could do to hold it. 1521 | 1522 | As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, 1523 | (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep 1524 | tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its 1525 | undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I 1526 | don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure 1527 | to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it 1528 | behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing 1529 | grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't 1530 | grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing 1531 | yourself.' 1532 | 1533 | The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into 1534 | its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no 1535 | doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout 1536 | than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for 1537 | a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at 1538 | all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked 1539 | into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. 1540 | 1541 | No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, 1542 | my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do 1543 | with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or 1544 | grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for 1545 | some while in silence. 1546 | 1547 | Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I 1548 | to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted 1549 | again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some 1550 | alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was 1551 | neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be 1552 | quite absurd for her to carry it further. 1553 | 1554 | So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to 1555 | see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' 1556 | she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: 1557 | but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began 1558 | thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as 1559 | pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right 1560 | way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing 1561 | the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. 1562 | 1563 | The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- 1564 | natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great 1565 | many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. 1566 | 1567 | `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at 1568 | all know whether it would like the name: however, it only 1569 | grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought 1570 | Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I 1571 | ought to go from here?' 1572 | 1573 | `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said 1574 | the Cat. 1575 | 1576 | `I don't much care where--' said Alice. 1577 | 1578 | `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. 1579 | 1580 | `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. 1581 | 1582 | `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk 1583 | long enough.' 1584 | 1585 | Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another 1586 | question. `What sort of people live about here?' 1587 | 1588 | `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 1589 | `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 1590 | `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' 1591 | 1592 | `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 1593 | 1594 | `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. 1595 | I'm mad. You're mad.' 1596 | 1597 | `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. 1598 | 1599 | `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' 1600 | 1601 | Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 1602 | `And how do you know that you're mad?' 1603 | 1604 | `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant 1605 | that?' 1606 | 1607 | `I suppose so,' said Alice. 1608 | 1609 | `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's 1610 | angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm 1611 | pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' 1612 | 1613 | `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. 1614 | 1615 | `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet 1616 | with the Queen to-day?' 1617 | 1618 | `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been 1619 | invited yet.' 1620 | 1621 | `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. 1622 | 1623 | Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used 1624 | to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place 1625 | where it had been, it suddenly appeared again. 1626 | 1627 | `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd 1628 | nearly forgotten to ask.' 1629 | 1630 | `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had 1631 | come back in a natural way. 1632 | 1633 | `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. 1634 | 1635 | Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it 1636 | did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the 1637 | direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen 1638 | hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be 1639 | much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be 1640 | raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said 1641 | this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a 1642 | branch of a tree. 1643 | 1644 | `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. 1645 | 1646 | `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep 1647 | appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' 1648 | 1649 | `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, 1650 | beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, 1651 | which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 1652 | 1653 | `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 1654 | `but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever 1655 | saw in my life!' 1656 | 1657 | She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the 1658 | house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, 1659 | because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was 1660 | thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not 1661 | like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand 1662 | bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even 1663 | then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 1664 | `Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd 1665 | gone to see the Hatter instead!' 1666 | 1667 | 1668 | 1669 | CHAPTER VII 1670 | 1671 | A Mad Tea-Party 1672 | 1673 | 1674 | There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, 1675 | and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a 1676 | Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two 1677 | were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking 1678 | over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 1679 | `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' 1680 | 1681 | The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded 1682 | together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried 1683 | out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said 1684 | Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one 1685 | end of the table. 1686 | 1687 | `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. 1688 | 1689 | Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it 1690 | but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 1691 | 1692 | `There isn't any,' said the March Hare. 1693 | 1694 | `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice 1695 | angrily. 1696 | 1697 | `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being 1698 | invited,' said the March Hare. 1699 | 1700 | `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a 1701 | great many more than three.' 1702 | 1703 | `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been 1704 | looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was 1705 | his first speech. 1706 | 1707 | `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said 1708 | with some severity; `it's very rude.' 1709 | 1710 | The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all 1711 | he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' 1712 | 1713 | `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad 1714 | they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she 1715 | added aloud. 1716 | 1717 | `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' 1718 | said the March Hare. 1719 | 1720 | `Exactly so,' said Alice. 1721 | 1722 | `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. 1723 | 1724 | `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what 1725 | I say--that's the same thing, you know.' 1726 | 1727 | `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just 1728 | as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat 1729 | what I see"!' 1730 | 1731 | `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I 1732 | like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' 1733 | 1734 | `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to 1735 | be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the 1736 | same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!' 1737 | 1738 | `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the 1739 | conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, 1740 | while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and 1741 | writing-desks, which wasn't much. 1742 | 1743 | The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of 1744 | the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his 1745 | watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking 1746 | it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. 1747 | 1748 | Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' 1749 | 1750 | `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter 1751 | wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March 1752 | Hare. 1753 | 1754 | `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. 1755 | 1756 | `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter 1757 | grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' 1758 | 1759 | The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then 1760 | he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he 1761 | could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It 1762 | was the BEST butter, you know.' 1763 | 1764 | Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 1765 | `What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the 1766 | month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' 1767 | 1768 | `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell 1769 | you what year it is?' 1770 | 1771 | `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's 1772 | because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' 1773 | 1774 | `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. 1775 | 1776 | Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to 1777 | have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 1778 | `I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she 1779 | could. 1780 | 1781 | `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured 1782 | a little hot tea upon its nose. 1783 | 1784 | The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without 1785 | opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to 1786 | remark myself.' 1787 | 1788 | `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to 1789 | Alice again. 1790 | 1791 | `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' 1792 | 1793 | `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. 1794 | 1795 | `Nor I,' said the March Hare. 1796 | 1797 | Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better 1798 | with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that 1799 | have no answers.' 1800 | 1801 | `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you 1802 | wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.' 1803 | 1804 | `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. 1805 | 1806 | `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head 1807 | contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' 1808 | 1809 | `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to 1810 | beat time when I learn music.' 1811 | 1812 | `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand 1813 | beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do 1814 | almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose 1815 | it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: 1816 | you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 1817 | clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' 1818 | 1819 | (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a 1820 | whisper.) 1821 | 1822 | `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 1823 | `but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' 1824 | 1825 | `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep 1826 | it to half-past one as long as you liked.' 1827 | 1828 | `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. 1829 | 1830 | The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. 1831 | `We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' 1832 | (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the 1833 | great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing 1834 | 1835 | "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! 1836 | How I wonder what you're at!" 1837 | 1838 | You know the song, perhaps?' 1839 | 1840 | `I've heard something like it,' said Alice. 1841 | 1842 | `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- 1843 | 1844 | "Up above the world you fly, 1845 | Like a tea-tray in the sky. 1846 | Twinkle, twinkle--"' 1847 | 1848 | Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 1849 | `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that 1850 | they had to pinch it to make it stop. 1851 | 1852 | `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 1853 | `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the 1854 | time! Off with his head!"' 1855 | 1856 | `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. 1857 | 1858 | `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 1859 | `he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' 1860 | 1861 | A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so 1862 | many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. 1863 | 1864 | `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always 1865 | tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' 1866 | 1867 | `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. 1868 | 1869 | `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' 1870 | 1871 | `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice 1872 | ventured to ask. 1873 | 1874 | `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, 1875 | yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady 1876 | tells us a story.' 1877 | 1878 | `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at 1879 | the proposal. 1880 | 1881 | `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, 1882 | Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. 1883 | 1884 | The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he 1885 | said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows 1886 | were saying.' 1887 | 1888 | `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. 1889 | 1890 | `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. 1891 | 1892 | `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep 1893 | again before it's done.' 1894 | 1895 | `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the 1896 | Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, 1897 | Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' 1898 | 1899 | `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great 1900 | interest in questions of eating and drinking. 1901 | 1902 | `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a 1903 | minute or two. 1904 | 1905 | `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently 1906 | remarked; `they'd have been ill.' 1907 | 1908 | `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' 1909 | 1910 | Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways 1911 | of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went 1912 | on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 1913 | 1914 | `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very 1915 | earnestly. 1916 | 1917 | `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so 1918 | I can't take more.' 1919 | 1920 | `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very 1921 | easy to take MORE than nothing.' 1922 | 1923 | `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. 1924 | 1925 | `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked 1926 | triumphantly. 1927 | 1928 | Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped 1929 | herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the 1930 | Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the 1931 | bottom of a well?' 1932 | 1933 | The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and 1934 | then said, `It was a treacle-well.' 1935 | 1936 | `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but 1937 | the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse 1938 | sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the 1939 | story for yourself.' 1940 | 1941 | `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt 1942 | again. I dare say there may be ONE.' 1943 | 1944 | `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he 1945 | consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they 1946 | were learning to draw, you know--' 1947 | 1948 | `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. 1949 | 1950 | `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this 1951 | time. 1952 | 1953 | `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move 1954 | one place on.' 1955 | 1956 | He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the 1957 | March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather 1958 | unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the 1959 | only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a 1960 | good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset 1961 | the milk-jug into his plate. 1962 | 1963 | Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began 1964 | very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw 1965 | the treacle from?' 1966 | 1967 | `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so 1968 | I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, 1969 | stupid?' 1970 | 1971 | `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not 1972 | choosing to notice this last remark. 1973 | 1974 | `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' 1975 | 1976 | This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse 1977 | go on for some time without interrupting it. 1978 | 1979 | `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and 1980 | rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew 1981 | all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--' 1982 | 1983 | `Why with an M?' said Alice. 1984 | 1985 | `Why not?' said the March Hare. 1986 | 1987 | Alice was silent. 1988 | 1989 | The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going 1990 | off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up 1991 | again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an 1992 | M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- 1993 | you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever 1994 | see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' 1995 | 1996 | `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I 1997 | don't think--' 1998 | 1999 | `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. 2000 | 2001 | This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got 2002 | up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep 2003 | instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her 2004 | going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that 2005 | they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were 2006 | trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 2007 | 2008 | `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she 2009 | picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I 2010 | ever was at in all my life!' 2011 | 2012 | Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a 2013 | door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. 2014 | `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' 2015 | And in she went. 2016 | 2017 | Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the 2018 | little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' 2019 | she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, 2020 | and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went 2021 | to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it 2022 | in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down 2023 | the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the 2024 | beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. 2025 | 2026 | 2027 | 2028 | CHAPTER VIII 2029 | 2030 | The Queen's Croquet-Ground 2031 | 2032 | 2033 | A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the 2034 | roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at 2035 | it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious 2036 | thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up 2037 | to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go 2038 | splashing paint over me like that!' 2039 | 2040 | `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged 2041 | my elbow.' 2042 | 2043 | On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always 2044 | lay the blame on others!' 2045 | 2046 | `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only 2047 | yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' 2048 | 2049 | `What for?' said the one who had spoken first. 2050 | 2051 | `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. 2052 | 2053 | `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it 2054 | was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' 2055 | 2056 | Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all 2057 | the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as 2058 | she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the 2059 | others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. 2060 | 2061 | `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are 2062 | painting those roses?' 2063 | 2064 | Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a 2065 | low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to 2066 | have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; 2067 | and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads 2068 | cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore 2069 | she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously 2070 | looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' 2071 | and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon 2072 | their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice 2073 | looked round, eager to see the Queen. 2074 | 2075 | First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped 2076 | like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and 2077 | feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were 2078 | ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the 2079 | soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were 2080 | ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand 2081 | in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next 2082 | came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice 2083 | recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous 2084 | manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without 2085 | noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the 2086 | King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this 2087 | grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 2088 | 2089 | Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on 2090 | her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember 2091 | ever having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides, 2092 | what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people 2093 | had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?' 2094 | So she stood still where she was, and waited. 2095 | 2096 | When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped 2097 | and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' 2098 | She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 2099 | 2100 | `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, 2101 | turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?' 2102 | 2103 | `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very 2104 | politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of 2105 | cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!' 2106 | 2107 | `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three 2108 | gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as 2109 | they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs 2110 | was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether 2111 | they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her 2112 | own children. 2113 | 2114 | `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 2115 | `It's no business of MINE.' 2116 | 2117 | The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her 2118 | for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! 2119 | Off--' 2120 | 2121 | `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the 2122 | Queen was silent. 2123 | 2124 | The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 2125 | `Consider, my dear: she is only a child!' 2126 | 2127 | The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 2128 | `Turn them over!' 2129 | 2130 | The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. 2131 | 2132 | `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the 2133 | three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the 2134 | King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else. 2135 | 2136 | `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' 2137 | And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you 2138 | been doing here?' 2139 | 2140 | `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 2141 | going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--' 2142 | 2143 | `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the 2144 | roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, 2145 | three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate 2146 | gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. 2147 | 2148 | `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a 2149 | large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered 2150 | about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly 2151 | marched off after the others. 2152 | 2153 | `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. 2154 | 2155 | `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers 2156 | shouted in reply. 2157 | 2158 | `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?' 2159 | 2160 | The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question 2161 | was evidently meant for her. 2162 | 2163 | `Yes!' shouted Alice. 2164 | 2165 | `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the 2166 | procession, wondering very much what would happen next. 2167 | 2168 | `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. 2169 | She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously 2170 | into her face. 2171 | 2172 | `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?' 2173 | 2174 | `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He 2175 | looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised 2176 | himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 2177 | whispered `She's under sentence of execution.' 2178 | 2179 | `What for?' said Alice. 2180 | 2181 | `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. 2182 | 2183 | `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. 2184 | I said "What for?"' 2185 | 2186 | `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a 2187 | little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a 2188 | frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came 2189 | rather late, and the Queen said--' 2190 | 2191 | `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, 2192 | and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up 2193 | against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or 2194 | two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a 2195 | curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and 2196 | furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live 2197 | flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to 2198 | stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. 2199 | 2200 | The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her 2201 | flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, 2202 | comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, 2203 | but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened 2204 | out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it 2205 | WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a 2206 | puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: 2207 | and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, 2208 | it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled 2209 | itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, 2210 | there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she 2211 | wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers 2212 | were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the 2213 | ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very 2214 | difficult game indeed. 2215 | 2216 | The players all played at once without waiting for turns, 2217 | quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in 2218 | a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went 2219 | stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with 2220 | her head!' about once in a minute. 2221 | 2222 | Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as 2223 | yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might 2224 | happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of 2225 | me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great 2226 | wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' 2227 | 2228 | She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering 2229 | whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a 2230 | curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at 2231 | first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to 2232 | be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I 2233 | shall have somebody to talk to.' 2234 | 2235 | `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was 2236 | mouth enough for it to speak with. 2237 | 2238 | Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no 2239 | use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at 2240 | least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, 2241 | and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the 2242 | game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The 2243 | Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and 2244 | no more of it appeared. 2245 | 2246 | `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather 2247 | a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't 2248 | hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in 2249 | particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and 2250 | you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; 2251 | for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next 2252 | walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have 2253 | croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it 2254 | saw mine coming!' 2255 | 2256 | `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. 2257 | 2258 | `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then 2259 | she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so 2260 | she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while 2261 | finishing the game.' 2262 | 2263 | The Queen smiled and passed on. 2264 | 2265 | `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and 2266 | looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. 2267 | 2268 | `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me 2269 | to introduce it.' 2270 | 2271 | `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 2272 | `however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.' 2273 | 2274 | `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. 2275 | 2276 | `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me 2277 | like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke. 2278 | 2279 | `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in 2280 | some book, but I don't remember where.' 2281 | 2282 | `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and 2283 | he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I 2284 | wish you would have this cat removed!' 2285 | 2286 | The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great 2287 | or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking 2288 | round. 2289 | 2290 | `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and 2291 | he hurried off. 2292 | 2293 | Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game 2294 | was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, 2295 | screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three 2296 | of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and 2297 | she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 2298 | such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or 2299 | not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. 2300 | 2301 | The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, 2302 | which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one 2303 | of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her 2304 | flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where 2305 | Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up 2306 | into a tree. 2307 | 2308 | By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, 2309 | the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 2310 | `but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches 2311 | are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away 2312 | under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for 2313 | a little more conversation with her friend. 2314 | 2315 | When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to 2316 | find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute 2317 | going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who 2318 | were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, 2319 | and looked very uncomfortable. 2320 | 2321 | The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to 2322 | settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, 2323 | though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed 2324 | to make out exactly what they said. 2325 | 2326 | The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a 2327 | head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had 2328 | never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin 2329 | at HIS time of life. 2330 | 2331 | The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be 2332 | beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. 2333 | 2334 | The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about 2335 | it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. 2336 | (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so 2337 | grave and anxious.) 2338 | 2339 | Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the 2340 | Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.' 2341 | 2342 | `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch 2343 | her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow. 2344 | 2345 | The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, 2346 | by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely 2347 | disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down 2348 | looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 2349 | 2350 | 2351 | 2352 | CHAPTER IX 2353 | 2354 | The Mock Turtle's Story 2355 | 2356 | 2357 | `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old 2358 | thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately 2359 | into Alice's, and they walked off together. 2360 | 2361 | Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and 2362 | thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had 2363 | made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. 2364 | 2365 | `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very 2366 | hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT 2367 | ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that 2368 | makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at 2369 | having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them 2370 | sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar 2371 | and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish 2372 | people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you 2373 | know--' 2374 | 2375 | She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a 2376 | little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 2377 | `You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you 2378 | forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that 2379 | is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' 2380 | 2381 | `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. 2382 | 2383 | `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a 2384 | moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up 2385 | closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 2386 | 2387 | Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, 2388 | because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was 2389 | exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, 2390 | and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not 2391 | like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. 2392 | 2393 | `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of 2394 | keeping up the conversation a little. 2395 | 2396 | `'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 2397 | 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' 2398 | 2399 | `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody 2400 | minding their own business!' 2401 | 2402 | `Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, 2403 | digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 2404 | `and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the 2405 | sounds will take care of themselves."' 2406 | 2407 | `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to 2408 | herself. 2409 | 2410 | `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your 2411 | waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm 2412 | doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the 2413 | experiment?' 2414 | 2415 | `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all 2416 | anxious to have the experiment tried. 2417 | 2418 | `Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both 2419 | bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock 2420 | together."' 2421 | 2422 | `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. 2423 | 2424 | `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you 2425 | have of putting things!' 2426 | 2427 | `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. 2428 | 2429 | `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree 2430 | to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near 2431 | here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the 2432 | less there is of yours."' 2433 | 2434 | `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this 2435 | last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it 2436 | is.' 2437 | 2438 | `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of 2439 | that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put 2440 | more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than 2441 | what it might appear to others that what you were or might have 2442 | been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared 2443 | to them to be otherwise."' 2444 | 2445 | `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very 2446 | politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it 2447 | as you say it.' 2448 | 2449 | `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess 2450 | replied, in a pleased tone. 2451 | 2452 | `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' 2453 | said Alice. 2454 | 2455 | `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you 2456 | a present of everything I've said as yet.' 2457 | 2458 | `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't 2459 | give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to 2460 | say it out loud. 2461 | 2462 | `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her 2463 | sharp little chin. 2464 | 2465 | `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was 2466 | beginning to feel a little worried. 2467 | 2468 | `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; 2469 | and the m--' 2470 | 2471 | But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died 2472 | away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the 2473 | arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, 2474 | and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, 2475 | frowning like a thunderstorm. 2476 | 2477 | `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak 2478 | voice. 2479 | 2480 | `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on 2481 | the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, 2482 | and that in about half no time! Take your choice!' 2483 | 2484 | The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. 2485 | 2486 | `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice 2487 | was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her 2488 | back to the croquet-ground. 2489 | 2490 | The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, 2491 | and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, 2492 | they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a 2493 | moment's delay would cost them their lives. 2494 | 2495 | All the time they were playing the Queen never left off 2496 | quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his 2497 | head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were 2498 | taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave 2499 | off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour 2500 | or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the 2501 | King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of 2502 | execution. 2503 | 2504 | Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to 2505 | Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' 2506 | 2507 | `No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' 2508 | 2509 | `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. 2510 | 2511 | `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. 2512 | 2513 | `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his 2514 | history,' 2515 | 2516 | As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low 2517 | voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, 2518 | THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite 2519 | unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered. 2520 | 2521 | They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the 2522 | sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 2523 | `Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to 2524 | see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and 2525 | see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, 2526 | leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like 2527 | the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would 2528 | be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 2529 | Queen: so she waited. 2530 | 2531 | The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the 2532 | Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' 2533 | said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. 2534 | 2535 | `What IS the fun?' said Alice. 2536 | 2537 | `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they 2538 | never executes nobody, you know. Come on!' 2539 | 2540 | `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went 2541 | slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life, 2542 | never!' 2543 | 2544 | They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the 2545 | distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, 2546 | as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart 2547 | would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she 2548 | asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 2549 | same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got 2550 | no sorrow, you know. Come on!' 2551 | 2552 | So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with 2553 | large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. 2554 | 2555 | `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to 2556 | know your history, she do.' 2557 | 2558 | `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow 2559 | tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've 2560 | finished.' 2561 | 2562 | So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice 2563 | thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he 2564 | doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently. 2565 | 2566 | `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was 2567 | a real Turtle.' 2568 | 2569 | These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only 2570 | by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and 2571 | the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 2572 | nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your 2573 | interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be 2574 | more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 2575 | 2576 | `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more 2577 | calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to 2578 | school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call 2579 | him Tortoise--' 2580 | 2581 | `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. 2582 | 2583 | `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock 2584 | Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!' 2585 | 2586 | `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple 2587 | question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and 2588 | looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At 2589 | last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! 2590 | Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: 2591 | 2592 | `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe 2593 | it--' 2594 | 2595 | `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 2596 | 2597 | `You did,' said the Mock Turtle. 2598 | 2599 | `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak 2600 | again. The Mock Turtle went on. 2601 | 2602 | `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school 2603 | every day--' 2604 | 2605 | `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be 2606 | so proud as all that.' 2607 | 2608 | `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 2609 | 2610 | `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' 2611 | 2612 | `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 2613 | 2614 | `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. 2615 | 2616 | `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock 2617 | Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the 2618 | end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' 2619 | 2620 | `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the 2621 | bottom of the sea.' 2622 | 2623 | `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a 2624 | sigh. `I only took the regular course.' 2625 | 2626 | `What was that?' inquired Alice. 2627 | 2628 | `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock 2629 | Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- 2630 | Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' 2631 | 2632 | `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What is it?' 2633 | 2634 | The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never 2635 | heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, 2636 | I suppose?' 2637 | 2638 | `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.' 2639 | 2640 | `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to 2641 | uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.' 2642 | 2643 | Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about 2644 | it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you 2645 | to learn?' 2646 | 2647 | `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting 2648 | off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, 2649 | with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old 2650 | conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us 2651 | Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.' 2652 | 2653 | `What was THAT like?' said Alice. 2654 | 2655 | `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm 2656 | too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' 2657 | 2658 | `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics 2659 | master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.' 2660 | 2661 | `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he 2662 | taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' 2663 | 2664 | `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; 2665 | and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. 2666 | 2667 | `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a 2668 | hurry to change the subject. 2669 | 2670 | `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the 2671 | next, and so on.' 2672 | 2673 | `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. 2674 | 2675 | `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon 2676 | remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.' 2677 | 2678 | This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a 2679 | little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day 2680 | must have been a holiday?' 2681 | 2682 | `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. 2683 | 2684 | `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. 2685 | 2686 | `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a 2687 | very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.' 2688 | 2689 | 2690 | 2691 | CHAPTER X 2692 | 2693 | The Lobster Quadrille 2694 | 2695 | 2696 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper 2697 | across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for 2698 | a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone 2699 | in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him 2700 | and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered 2701 | his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on 2702 | again:-- 2703 | 2704 | `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)-- 2705 | `and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' 2706 | (Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, 2707 | and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful 2708 | thing a Lobster Quadrille is!' 2709 | 2710 | `No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?' 2711 | 2712 | `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--' 2713 | 2714 | `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; 2715 | then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--' 2716 | 2717 | `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. 2718 | 2719 | `--you advance twice--' 2720 | 2721 | `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. 2722 | 2723 | `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to 2724 | partners--' 2725 | 2726 | `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the 2727 | Gryphon. 2728 | 2729 | `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--' 2730 | 2731 | `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 2732 | 2733 | `--as far out to sea as you can--' 2734 | 2735 | `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. 2736 | 2737 | `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, 2738 | capering wildly about. 2739 | 2740 | `Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. 2741 | 2742 | `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the 2743 | Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, 2744 | who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat 2745 | down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 2746 | 2747 | `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. 2748 | 2749 | `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. 2750 | 2751 | `Very much indeed,' said Alice. 2752 | 2753 | `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the 2754 | Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall 2755 | sing?' 2756 | 2757 | `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.' 2758 | 2759 | So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now 2760 | and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and 2761 | waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle 2762 | sang this, very slowly and sadly:-- 2763 | 2764 | 2765 | `"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. 2766 | "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my 2767 | tail. 2768 | See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 2769 | They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the 2770 | dance? 2771 | 2772 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2773 | dance? 2774 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2775 | dance? 2776 | 2777 | 2778 | "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 2779 | When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to 2780 | sea!" 2781 | But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look 2782 | askance-- 2783 | Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the 2784 | dance. 2785 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join 2786 | the dance. 2787 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join 2788 | the dance. 2789 | 2790 | `"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. 2791 | "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. 2792 | The further off from England the nearer is to France-- 2793 | Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. 2794 | 2795 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2796 | dance? 2797 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2798 | dance?"' 2799 | 2800 | 2801 | 2802 | `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said 2803 | Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so 2804 | like that curious song about the whiting!' 2805 | 2806 | `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've 2807 | seen them, of course?' 2808 | 2809 | `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she 2810 | checked herself hastily. 2811 | 2812 | `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but 2813 | if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're 2814 | like.' 2815 | 2816 | `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their 2817 | tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' 2818 | 2819 | `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 2820 | `crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails 2821 | in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle 2822 | yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all 2823 | that,' he said to the Gryphon. 2824 | 2825 | `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with 2826 | the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So 2827 | they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 2828 | their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.' 2829 | 2830 | `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew 2831 | so much about a whiting before.' 2832 | 2833 | `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the 2834 | Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?' 2835 | 2836 | `I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?' 2837 | 2838 | `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very 2839 | solemnly. 2840 | 2841 | Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she 2842 | repeated in a wondering tone. 2843 | 2844 | `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I 2845 | mean, what makes them so shiny?' 2846 | 2847 | Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she 2848 | gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.' 2849 | 2850 | `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep 2851 | voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.' 2852 | 2853 | `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great 2854 | curiosity. 2855 | 2856 | `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather 2857 | impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.' 2858 | 2859 | `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were 2860 | still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep 2861 | back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"' 2862 | 2863 | `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle 2864 | said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' 2865 | 2866 | `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. 2867 | 2868 | `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came 2869 | to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With 2870 | what porpoise?"' 2871 | 2872 | `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. 2873 | 2874 | `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended 2875 | tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR 2876 | adventures.' 2877 | 2878 | `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' 2879 | said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to 2880 | yesterday, because I was a different person then.' 2881 | 2882 | `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. 2883 | 2884 | `No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an 2885 | impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.' 2886 | 2887 | So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when 2888 | she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about 2889 | it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on 2890 | each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she 2891 | gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly 2892 | quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, 2893 | FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming 2894 | different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 2895 | `That's very curious.' 2896 | 2897 | `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. 2898 | 2899 | `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated 2900 | thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat 2901 | something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as 2902 | if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. 2903 | 2904 | `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said 2905 | the Gryphon. 2906 | 2907 | `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat 2908 | lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' 2909 | However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so 2910 | full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was 2911 | saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- 2912 | 2913 | `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, 2914 | "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." 2915 | As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 2916 | Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' 2917 | 2918 | [later editions continued as follows 2919 | When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, 2920 | And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, 2921 | But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, 2922 | His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] 2923 | 2924 | `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' 2925 | said the Gryphon. 2926 | 2927 | `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it 2928 | sounds uncommon nonsense.' 2929 | 2930 | Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her 2931 | hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way 2932 | again. 2933 | 2934 | `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. 2935 | 2936 | `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with 2937 | the next verse.' 2938 | 2939 | `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD 2940 | he turn them out with his nose, you know?' 2941 | 2942 | `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was 2943 | dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the 2944 | subject. 2945 | 2946 | `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 2947 | `it begins "I passed by his garden."' 2948 | 2949 | Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would 2950 | all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- 2951 | 2952 | `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 2953 | How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' 2954 | 2955 | [later editions continued as follows 2956 | The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, 2957 | While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. 2958 | When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, 2959 | Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: 2960 | While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, 2961 | And concluded the banquet--] 2962 | 2963 | `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle 2964 | interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far 2965 | the most confusing thing I ever heard!' 2966 | 2967 | `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and 2968 | Alice was only too glad to do so. 2969 | 2970 | `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the 2971 | Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you 2972 | a song?' 2973 | 2974 | `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' 2975 | Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather 2976 | offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her 2977 | "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?' 2978 | 2979 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes 2980 | choked with sobs, to sing this:-- 2981 | 2982 | 2983 | `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 2984 | Waiting in a hot tureen! 2985 | Who for such dainties would not stoop? 2986 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2987 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2988 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2989 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2990 | Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 2991 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 2992 | 2993 | `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 2994 | Game, or any other dish? 2995 | Who would not give all else for two 2996 | Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2997 | Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2998 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2999 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3000 | Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3001 | Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' 3002 | 3003 | `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had 3004 | just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' 3005 | was heard in the distance. 3006 | 3007 | `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, 3008 | it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song. 3009 | 3010 | `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon 3011 | only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more 3012 | faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the 3013 | melancholy words:-- 3014 | 3015 | `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3016 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' 3017 | 3018 | 3019 | 3020 | CHAPTER XI 3021 | 3022 | Who Stole the Tarts? 3023 | 3024 | 3025 | The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when 3026 | they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts 3027 | of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: 3028 | the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on 3029 | each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, 3030 | with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the 3031 | other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large 3032 | dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice 3033 | quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' 3034 | she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed 3035 | to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about 3036 | her, to pass away the time. 3037 | 3038 | Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had 3039 | read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that 3040 | she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the 3041 | judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.' 3042 | 3043 | The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown 3044 | over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he 3045 | did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly 3046 | not becoming. 3047 | 3048 | `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve 3049 | creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because 3050 | some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they 3051 | are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over 3052 | to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and 3053 | rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the 3054 | meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just 3055 | as well. 3056 | 3057 | The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 3058 | `What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They 3059 | can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.' 3060 | 3061 | `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in 3062 | reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the 3063 | trial.' 3064 | 3065 | `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but 3066 | she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in 3067 | the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked 3068 | anxiously round, to make out who was talking. 3069 | 3070 | Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their 3071 | shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' 3072 | on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them 3073 | didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his 3074 | neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in 3075 | before the trial's over!' thought Alice. 3076 | 3077 | One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, 3078 | Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got 3079 | behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it 3080 | away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was 3081 | Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of 3082 | it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write 3083 | with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very 3084 | little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 3085 | 3086 | `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. 3087 | 3088 | On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 3089 | then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- 3090 | 3091 | `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, 3092 | All on a summer day: 3093 | The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 3094 | And took them quite away!' 3095 | 3096 | `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. 3097 | 3098 | `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's 3099 | a great deal to come before that!' 3100 | 3101 | `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit 3102 | blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First 3103 | witness!' 3104 | 3105 | The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in 3106 | one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg 3107 | pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I 3108 | hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.' 3109 | 3110 | `You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you 3111 | begin?' 3112 | 3113 | The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into 3114 | the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I 3115 | think it was,' he said. 3116 | 3117 | `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. 3118 | 3119 | `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. 3120 | 3121 | `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury 3122 | eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then 3123 | added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 3124 | 3125 | `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. 3126 | 3127 | `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. 3128 | 3129 | `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who 3130 | instantly made a memorandum of the fact. 3131 | 3132 | `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 3133 | `I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.' 3134 | 3135 | Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the 3136 | Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. 3137 | 3138 | `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or 3139 | I'll have you executed on the spot.' 3140 | 3141 | This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept 3142 | shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the 3143 | Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his 3144 | teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. 3145 | 3146 | Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which 3147 | puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was 3148 | beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she 3149 | would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she 3150 | decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for 3151 | her. 3152 | 3153 | `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was 3154 | sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.' 3155 | 3156 | `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.' 3157 | 3158 | `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. 3159 | 3160 | `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know 3161 | you're growing too.' 3162 | 3163 | `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 3164 | `not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily 3165 | and crossed over to the other side of the court. 3166 | 3167 | All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the 3168 | Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to 3169 | one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the 3170 | singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter 3171 | trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. 3172 | 3173 | `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have 3174 | you executed, whether you're nervous or not.' 3175 | 3176 | `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a 3177 | trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week 3178 | or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and 3179 | the twinkling of the tea--' 3180 | 3181 | `The twinkling of the what?' said the King. 3182 | 3183 | `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. 3184 | 3185 | `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 3186 | `Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!' 3187 | 3188 | `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things 3189 | twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--' 3190 | 3191 | `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. 3192 | 3193 | `You did!' said the Hatter. 3194 | 3195 | `I deny it!' said the March Hare. 3196 | 3197 | `He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.' 3198 | 3199 | `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, 3200 | looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the 3201 | Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. 3202 | 3203 | `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- 3204 | and-butter--' 3205 | 3206 | `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. 3207 | 3208 | `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. 3209 | 3210 | `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you 3211 | executed.' 3212 | 3213 | The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, 3214 | and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he 3215 | began. 3216 | 3217 | `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 3218 | 3219 | Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately 3220 | suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a 3221 | hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had 3222 | a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: 3223 | into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat 3224 | upon it.) 3225 | 3226 | `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often 3227 | read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some 3228 | attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the 3229 | officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant 3230 | till now.' 3231 | 3232 | `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' 3233 | continued the King. 3234 | 3235 | `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as 3236 | it is.' 3237 | 3238 | `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. 3239 | 3240 | Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 3241 | 3242 | `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we 3243 | shall get on better.' 3244 | 3245 | `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious 3246 | look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. 3247 | 3248 | `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the 3249 | court, without even waiting to put his shoes on. 3250 | 3251 | `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one 3252 | of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the 3253 | officer could get to the door. 3254 | 3255 | `Call the next witness!' said the King. 3256 | 3257 | The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the 3258 | pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before 3259 | she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began 3260 | sneezing all at once. 3261 | 3262 | `Give your evidence,' said the King. 3263 | 3264 | `Shan't,' said the cook. 3265 | 3266 | The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a 3267 | low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' 3268 | 3269 | `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy 3270 | air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till 3271 | his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What 3272 | are tarts made of?' 3273 | 3274 | `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. 3275 | 3276 | `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. 3277 | 3278 | `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that 3279 | Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch 3280 | him! Off with his whiskers!' 3281 | 3282 | For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the 3283 | Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down 3284 | again, the cook had disappeared. 3285 | 3286 | `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 3287 | `Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the 3288 | Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. 3289 | It quite makes my forehead ache!' 3290 | 3291 | Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, 3292 | feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like, 3293 | `--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. 3294 | Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top 3295 | of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!' 3296 | 3297 | 3298 | 3299 | CHAPTER XII 3300 | 3301 | Alice's Evidence 3302 | 3303 | 3304 | `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the 3305 | moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she 3306 | jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with 3307 | the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads 3308 | of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 3309 | her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset 3310 | the week before. 3311 | 3312 | `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great 3313 | dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, 3314 | for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and 3315 | she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once 3316 | and put back into the jury-box, or they would die. 3317 | 3318 | `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave 3319 | voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- 3320 | ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as 3321 | he said do. 3322 | 3323 | Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she 3324 | had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing 3325 | was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable 3326 | to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that 3327 | it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it 3328 | would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.' 3329 | 3330 | As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of 3331 | being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and 3332 | handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write 3333 | out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed 3334 | too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, 3335 | gazing up into the roof of the court. 3336 | 3337 | `What do you know about this business?' the King said to 3338 | Alice. 3339 | 3340 | `Nothing,' said Alice. 3341 | 3342 | `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. 3343 | 3344 | `Nothing whatever,' said Alice. 3345 | 3346 | `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. 3347 | They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when 3348 | the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, 3349 | of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and 3350 | making faces at him as he spoke. 3351 | 3352 | `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and 3353 | went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- 3354 | unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word 3355 | sounded best. 3356 | 3357 | Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some 3358 | `unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to 3359 | look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she 3360 | thought to herself. 3361 | 3362 | At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily 3363 | writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out 3364 | from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE 3365 | HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' 3366 | 3367 | Everybody looked at Alice. 3368 | 3369 | `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. 3370 | 3371 | `You are,' said the King. 3372 | 3373 | `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. 3374 | 3375 | `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, 3376 | that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.' 3377 | 3378 | `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. 3379 | 3380 | `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. 3381 | 3382 | The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 3383 | `Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling 3384 | voice. 3385 | 3386 | `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said 3387 | the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has 3388 | just been picked up.' 3389 | 3390 | `What's in it?' said the Queen. 3391 | 3392 | `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems 3393 | to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' 3394 | 3395 | `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was 3396 | written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' 3397 | 3398 | `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. 3399 | 3400 | `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, 3401 | there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper 3402 | as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set 3403 | of verses.' 3404 | 3405 | `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of 3406 | the jurymen. 3407 | 3408 | `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the 3409 | queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) 3410 | 3411 | `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. 3412 | (The jury all brightened up again.) 3413 | 3414 | `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and 3415 | they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' 3416 | 3417 | `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the 3418 | matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd 3419 | have signed your name like an honest man.' 3420 | 3421 | There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the 3422 | first really clever thing the King had said that day. 3423 | 3424 | `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. 3425 | 3426 | `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't 3427 | even know what they're about!' 3428 | 3429 | `Read them,' said the King. 3430 | 3431 | The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, 3432 | please your Majesty?' he asked. 3433 | 3434 | `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on 3435 | till you come to the end: then stop.' 3436 | 3437 | These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- 3438 | 3439 | `They told me you had been to her, 3440 | And mentioned me to him: 3441 | She gave me a good character, 3442 | But said I could not swim. 3443 | 3444 | He sent them word I had not gone 3445 | (We know it to be true): 3446 | If she should push the matter on, 3447 | What would become of you? 3448 | 3449 | I gave her one, they gave him two, 3450 | You gave us three or more; 3451 | They all returned from him to you, 3452 | Though they were mine before. 3453 | 3454 | If I or she should chance to be 3455 | Involved in this affair, 3456 | He trusts to you to set them free, 3457 | Exactly as we were. 3458 | 3459 | My notion was that you had been 3460 | (Before she had this fit) 3461 | An obstacle that came between 3462 | Him, and ourselves, and it. 3463 | 3464 | Don't let him know she liked them best, 3465 | For this must ever be 3466 | A secret, kept from all the rest, 3467 | Between yourself and me.' 3468 | 3469 | `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' 3470 | said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--' 3471 | 3472 | `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had 3473 | grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit 3474 | afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't 3475 | believe there's an atom of meaning in it.' 3476 | 3477 | The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe 3478 | there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to 3479 | explain the paper. 3480 | 3481 | `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a 3482 | world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And 3483 | yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his 3484 | knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some 3485 | meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you 3486 | can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave. 3487 | 3488 | The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. 3489 | (Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) 3490 | 3491 | `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering 3492 | over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's 3493 | the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, 3494 | that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--' 3495 | 3496 | `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said 3497 | Alice. 3498 | 3499 | `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to 3500 | the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. 3501 | Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my 3502 | dear, I think?' he said to the Queen. 3503 | 3504 | `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the 3505 | Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off 3506 | writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no 3507 | mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was 3508 | trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.) 3509 | 3510 | `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round 3511 | the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. 3512 | 3513 | `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and 3514 | everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the 3515 | King said, for about the twentieth time that day. 3516 | 3517 | `No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' 3518 | 3519 | `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having 3520 | the sentence first!' 3521 | 3522 | `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. 3523 | 3524 | `I won't!' said Alice. 3525 | 3526 | `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. 3527 | Nobody moved. 3528 | 3529 | `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full 3530 | size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!' 3531 | 3532 | At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying 3533 | down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half 3534 | of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on 3535 | the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently 3536 | brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 3537 | trees upon her face. 3538 | 3539 | `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long 3540 | sleep you've had!' 3541 | 3542 | `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told 3543 | her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange 3544 | Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and 3545 | when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a 3546 | curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's 3547 | getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she 3548 | ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. 3549 | 3550 | But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her 3551 | head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of 3552 | little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 3553 | dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:-- 3554 | 3555 | First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the 3556 | tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes 3557 | were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her 3558 | voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back 3559 | the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and 3560 | still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place 3561 | around her became alive the strange creatures of her little 3562 | sister's dream. 3563 | 3564 | The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried 3565 | by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the 3566 | neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 3567 | the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, 3568 | and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate 3569 | guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 3570 | Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once 3571 | more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's 3572 | slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3573 | filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable 3574 | Mock Turtle. 3575 | 3576 | So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3577 | Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and 3578 | all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only 3579 | rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the 3580 | reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep- 3581 | bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd 3582 | boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and 3583 | all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the 3584 | confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the 3585 | cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's 3586 | heavy sobs. 3587 | 3588 | Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of 3589 | hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how 3590 | she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 3591 | loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about 3592 | her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager 3593 | with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of 3594 | Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their 3595 | simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, 3596 | remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 3597 | 3598 | THE END -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论1.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论1.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论2.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论2.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论3.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论3.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论4.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论4.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论5.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论5.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论6.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论6.docx -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论7.docx: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/RookieJunChen/HIT-Computer-Network/2d7897e43ded5dae3fef02b842232219728ec2a6/课堂讨论/计算机网络课堂讨论7.docx --------------------------------------------------------------------------------