├── tests ├── .gitkeep ├── samples │ ├── invalid.xml │ ├── 2.rss.xml │ ├── 0.92.rss.xml │ └── valid.xml ├── Feeds │ ├── AtomFeedTest.php │ └── RSSFeedTest.php └── XMLTest.php ├── .gitignore ├── src └── Vinelab │ └── Rss │ ├── Exceptions │ ├── InvalidXMLException.php │ ├── InvalidFeedChannelException.php │ ├── InvalidFeedContentException.php │ ├── InvalidFeedFormatException.php │ └── RssException.php │ ├── Contracts │ ├── ParserInterface.php │ └── FeedInterface.php │ ├── ArticlesCollection.php │ ├── Facades │ └── RSS.php │ ├── Parsers │ └── XML.php │ ├── Feeds │ ├── AtomFeed.php │ └── RSSFeed.php │ ├── RssServiceProvider.php │ ├── Feed.php │ ├── Article.php │ └── Rss.php ├── .travis.yml ├── phpunit.xml ├── composer.json ├── LICENSE └── README.md /tests/.gitkeep: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | /vendor 2 | composer.phar 3 | composer.lock 4 | .DS_Store 5 | .idea 6 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Exceptions/InvalidXMLException.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | XXXchurch: STUDENTS BLOG - XXXchurch 5 | Wed, 04 Dec 2013 05:00:00 -0500 6 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/blog-rss.xml 7 | Blogs from XXXchurch 8 | 9 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /phpunit.xml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 12 | 13 | 14 | ./tests/ 15 | 16 | 17 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /composer.json: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | { 2 | "name": "vinelab/rss", 3 | "description": "An elegant RSS 2.0 and Atom client.", 4 | "license": "MIT", 5 | "authors": [ 6 | { 7 | "name": "Abed Halawi", 8 | "email": "abed.halawi@vinelab.com" 9 | } 10 | ], 11 | "require": { 12 | "php": ">=7.1", 13 | "illuminate/support": "~5.5.0|~5.6.0|~5.7.0|~5.8.0|^6.0|^7.0|^8.0|^9.0", 14 | "vinelab/http": "*", 15 | "ext-simplexml": "*" 16 | }, 17 | "require-dev": { 18 | "phpunit/phpunit": "7.*.*|8.*|9.*", 19 | "mockery/mockery": "0.9.*" 20 | }, 21 | "autoload": { 22 | "psr-0": { 23 | "Vinelab\\Rss": "src/" 24 | } 25 | }, 26 | "minimum-stability": "stable" 27 | } 28 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Parsers/XML.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | channel->item)) { 22 | return RSSFeed::make((array) $xml->channel); 23 | } 24 | 25 | if (isset($xml->entry)) { 26 | return AtomFeed::make((array) $xml); 27 | } 28 | 29 | throw new InvalidFeedContentException(); 30 | } 31 | } 32 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Feeds/AtomFeed.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | info = $channel; 20 | } 21 | 22 | /** 23 | * Set the articles for the feed. 24 | * 25 | * @param array $channel 26 | */ 27 | public function setArticles($channel) 28 | { 29 | $this->articles = new ArticlesCollection(); 30 | 31 | if(is_array($channel['entry'])){ 32 | foreach ($channel['entry'] as $entry) { 33 | $this->addArticle($entry); 34 | } 35 | }else{ 36 | $this->addArticle($channel['entry']); 37 | } 38 | } 39 | } -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Feeds/RSSFeed.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | info = $channel; 20 | } 21 | 22 | /** 23 | * Set the articles for the feed. 24 | * 25 | * @param array $channel 26 | */ 27 | public function setArticles($channel) 28 | { 29 | $this->articles = new ArticlesCollection(); 30 | 31 | if (is_array($channel['item'])) { 32 | 33 | foreach ($channel['item'] as $item) { 34 | $this->addArticle($item); 35 | } 36 | 37 | } elseif (isset($channel['item'])) { 38 | $this->addArticle($channel['item']); 39 | } 40 | } 41 | } -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /LICENSE: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | MIT License 2 | 3 | Copyright (c) 2020 Vinelab 4 | 5 | Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions: 6 | 7 | The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software. 8 | 9 | THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE. 10 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/RssServiceProvider.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | app->register('Vinelab\Http\HttpServiceProvider'); 22 | 23 | $this->app->bind('vinelab.rss', function ($app) { 24 | return new Rss($app->make('Vinelab\Rss\Parsers\XML'), 25 | $app->make('Vinelab\Http\Client')); 26 | }); 27 | 28 | $this->app->booting(function () { 29 | $loader = \Illuminate\Foundation\AliasLoader::getInstance(); 30 | $loader->alias('RSS', 'Vinelab\Rss\Facades\RSS'); 31 | }); 32 | } 33 | 34 | /** 35 | * Get the services provided by the provider. 36 | * 37 | * @return array 38 | */ 39 | public function provides() 40 | { 41 | return array(); 42 | } 43 | } 44 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/Feeds/AtomFeedTest.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 'Newest questions tagged php - Stack Overflow', 18 | 'subtitle' => 'most recent 30 from stackoverflow.com', 19 | 'updated' => '2020-07-16T19:14:29Z', 20 | 'id' => 'https://stackoverflow.com/feeds/tag?tagnames=php&sort=newest', 21 | ]; 22 | 23 | $this->assertEquals($expectedInfo, $feed->info()); 24 | $this->assertCount(30, $feed->articles()); 25 | 26 | foreach ($feed->articles() as $article) { 27 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->id); 28 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->title); 29 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->published); 30 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->updated); 31 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->summary); 32 | $this->assertTrue(isset($article->category)); 33 | $this->assertTrue(isset($article->author)); 34 | $this->assertTrue(isset($article->link)); 35 | } 36 | } 37 | } -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Feed.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | setInfo($channel); 31 | 32 | $this->setArticles($channel); 33 | } 34 | 35 | public static function make($channel) : FeedInterface 36 | { 37 | return new static($channel); 38 | } 39 | 40 | /** 41 | * Add an article to the feed. 42 | * 43 | * @param mixed $entry 44 | */ 45 | public function addArticle($entry) 46 | { 47 | $article = Article::make($entry); 48 | 49 | $this->articles->push($article); 50 | 51 | return $article; 52 | } 53 | 54 | /** 55 | * Return the feed info. 56 | * 57 | * @return array 58 | */ 59 | public function info() 60 | { 61 | return $this->info; 62 | } 63 | 64 | /** 65 | * Return the feed articles. 66 | * 67 | * @return array 68 | */ 69 | public function articles() 70 | { 71 | return $this->articles; 72 | } 73 | 74 | /** 75 | * The number of articles in this feed. 76 | * 77 | * @return int 78 | */ 79 | public function articlesCount() 80 | { 81 | return count($this->articles); 82 | } 83 | 84 | public function __get($attr) 85 | { 86 | if ($attr === 'articles') { 87 | return $this->articles; 88 | } 89 | 90 | return (isset($this->info[$attr])) ? $this->info[$attr] : null; 91 | } 92 | } 93 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/XMLTest.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | xml = new XML(); 41 | } 42 | 43 | public function test_parsing_valid_feed() 44 | { 45 | $feed = self::$feed; 46 | $feed = $this->xml->parse($feed); 47 | 48 | $this->assertInstanceOf(FeedInterface::class, $feed); 49 | $this->assertInstanceOf(Feed::class, $feed); 50 | 51 | $rss = $this->xml->parse(self::$rss); 52 | $this->assertInstanceOf(RSSFeed::class, $rss); 53 | 54 | $atom = $this->xml->parse(self::$atom); 55 | $this->assertInstanceOf(AtomFeed::class, $atom); 56 | } 57 | 58 | public function test_parsing_invalid_xml() 59 | { 60 | $this->expectException(InvalidXMLException::class); 61 | $this->xml->parse(self::$hunger); 62 | } 63 | 64 | public function test_parsing_invalid_feed() 65 | { 66 | $this->expectException(InvalidFeedContentException::class); 67 | $this->xml->parse(self::$invalid); 68 | } 69 | } 70 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Article.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | xml = $article; 31 | 32 | foreach ($article as $attribute => $value) { 33 | // for enclosure, get the attributes as array 34 | if ($attribute == 'enclosure') 35 | $value = current($value->attributes()); 36 | else 37 | $value = (string) $value; 38 | 39 | $this->info[$attribute] = $value; 40 | } 41 | } 42 | 43 | /** 44 | * Instantiate an Article. 45 | * 46 | * @param mixed $article 47 | * 48 | * @return Vinelab\Rss\Article 49 | */ 50 | public static function make($article) : self 51 | { 52 | return new static($article); 53 | } 54 | 55 | /** 56 | * Get the original SimpleXMLElement 57 | * 58 | * @return SimpleXMLElement 59 | */ 60 | public function xml() 61 | { 62 | return $this->xml; 63 | } 64 | 65 | /** 66 | * A gateway to return the data stored in $info. 67 | * 68 | * @param string $element 69 | * 70 | * @return mixed 71 | */ 72 | public function __get($element) 73 | { 74 | return isset($this->info[$element]) ? $this->info[$element] : null; 75 | } 76 | 77 | /** 78 | * Allows to call isset($article->$element) to determine whether 79 | * it is present in $info. 80 | * 81 | * Used with dynamic property management in $info since they're 82 | * not class properties for immutability. 83 | * 84 | * @param string $element 85 | * 86 | * @return bool 87 | */ 88 | public function __isset($element) 89 | { 90 | return isset($this->info[$element]); 91 | } 92 | } 93 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /src/Vinelab/Rss/Rss.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | xml = $xml ?: new XML(); 38 | $this->http = $http ?: new HttpClient(); 39 | } 40 | 41 | /** 42 | * Fetch and return an RSS feed. 43 | * 44 | * @param string $url 45 | * @param string $format 46 | * 47 | * @return FeedInterface 48 | */ 49 | public function feed($url, $format = 'xml') : FeedInterface 50 | { 51 | return $this->parse($this->fetch($url), $format); 52 | } 53 | 54 | /** 55 | * Fetch the feed from source. 56 | * 57 | * @param string $url 58 | * 59 | * @return mixed 60 | */ 61 | public function fetch($url) 62 | { 63 | return $this->http->get(trim($url)); 64 | } 65 | 66 | /** 67 | * Prepares a feed URL to be 68 | * requestable. 69 | * 70 | * @param string $url 71 | * 72 | * @return string 73 | */ 74 | public function prepareURL($url) 75 | { 76 | return preg_replace('/^feed:\/\//', 'http://', $url); 77 | } 78 | 79 | /** 80 | * Prases the feed according to the format. 81 | * 82 | * @param mixed $feed 83 | * @param string $format 84 | * 85 | * @return Vinelab\Rss\ArticlesCollection 86 | */ 87 | public function parse($response, $format) : FeedInterface 88 | { 89 | switch ($format) { 90 | case 'xml': 91 | return $this->xml->parse($response->xml()); 92 | break; 93 | 94 | default: 95 | throw new InvalidFeedFormatException($format); 96 | break; 97 | } 98 | } 99 | } 100 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/Feeds/RSSFeedTest.php: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | channel); 16 | 17 | $expectedInfo = [ 18 | 'title' => 'Dave Winer: Grateful Dead', 19 | 'link' => 'http://www.scripting.com/blog/categories/gratefulDead.html', 20 | 'description' => "A high-fidelity Grateful Dead song every day. This is where we're experimenting with enclosures on RSS news items that download when you're not using your computer. If it works (it will) it will be the end of the Click-And-Wait multimedia experience on the Internet. ", 21 | 'lastBuildDate' => 'Fri, 13 Apr 2001 19:23:02 GMT', 22 | 'docs' => 'http://backend.userland.com/rss092', 23 | 'managingEditor' => 'dave@userland.com (Dave Winer)', 24 | 'webMaster' => 'dave@userland.com (Dave Winer)', 25 | ]; 26 | 27 | $this->assertEquals($expectedInfo, $rss->info()); 28 | $this->assertCount(22, $rss->articles()); 29 | foreach ($rss->articles() as $article) { 30 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->description); 31 | } 32 | } 33 | 34 | public function test_rss_2_xml() 35 | { 36 | $xml = new SimpleXMLElement(file_get_contents(__DIR__.'/../samples/2.rss.xml')); 37 | $rss = new RSSFeed((array) $xml->channel); 38 | 39 | $expectedInfo = [ 40 | 'title' => 'Scripting News', 41 | 'link' => 'http://www.scripting.com/', 42 | 'description' => 'A weblog about scripting and stuff like that.', 43 | 'lastBuildDate' => 'Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:00:00 GMT', 44 | 'docs' => 'http://backend.userland.com/rss', 45 | 'managingEditor' => 'dave@userland.com', 46 | 'webMaster' => 'dave@userland.com', 47 | 'language' => 'en-us', 48 | 'copyright' => 'Copyright 1997-2002 Dave Winer', 49 | 'generator' => 'Radio UserLand v8.0.5', 50 | 'category' => '1765', 51 | 'ttl' => '40', 52 | ]; 53 | 54 | $this->assertEquals($expectedInfo, $rss->info()); 55 | $this->assertCount(9, $rss->articles()); 56 | foreach ($rss->articles() as $article) { 57 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->description); 58 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->guid); 59 | $this->assertNotEmpty($article->pubDate); 60 | } 61 | } 62 | 63 | public function test_invalid_rss() 64 | { 65 | $this->expectException(InvalidFeedChannelException::class); 66 | new RSSFeed('this is a string'); 67 | } 68 | } 69 | 70 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | [![Build Status](https://travis-ci.org/Vinelab/RSS.png)](https://travis-ci.org/Vinelab/RSS) 2 | 3 | # RSS Client 4 | A simple and radical RSS client that supports RSS 0.92, 2.0 and Atom feeds. 5 | 6 | ## Synopsis 7 | **Fetch Feeds** 8 | ```php 9 | $rss->feed('https://stackoverflow.com/feeds/tag?tagnames=php&sort=newest'); 10 | ``` 11 | 12 | **Parse Feeds** 13 | ```php 14 | $feed->info(); 15 | $feed->articles(); 16 | ``` 17 | 18 | ## Installation 19 | `composer require vinelab/rss` 20 | 21 | #### Laravel Setup 22 | Edit **app.php** and add ```'Vinelab\Rss\RssServiceProvider',``` to the ```'providers'``` array. 23 | 24 | It will automatically alias itself as **RSS** so no need to aslias it in your **app.php** unless you would like to customize it. In that case edit your **'aliases'** in **app.php** adding ``` 'MyRSS' => 'Vinelab\Rss\Facades\RSS',``` 25 | 26 | ## Usage 27 | 28 | ### Fetch an RSS feed 29 | 30 | ```php 31 | require 'vendor/autoload.php'; 32 | 33 | use Vinelab\Rss\Rss; 34 | 35 | $rss = new Rss(); 36 | $feed = $rss->feed('https://stackoverflow.com/feeds/tag?tagnames=php&sort=newest'); 37 | 38 | // $feed is now an instance of Vinelab\Rss\Feed 39 | 40 | $info = $feed->info(); 41 | $count = $feed->articlesCount(); 42 | $articles = $feed->articles(); 43 | ``` 44 | 45 | #### Feed Info 46 | ```php 47 | $info = $feed->info(); 48 | 49 | echo json_encode($info); 50 | ``` 51 | 52 | ```json 53 | { 54 | "title": "Newest questions tagged php - Stack Overflow", 55 | "subtitle": "most recent 30 from stackoverflow.com", 56 | "updated": "2020-07-16T19:14:29Z", 57 | "id": "https://stackoverflow.com/feeds/tag?tagnames=php&sort=newest" 58 | } 59 | ``` 60 | 61 | #### Feed Articles 62 | 63 | **Accessing Articles** 64 | ```php 65 | $articles = $feed->articles(); 66 | ``` 67 | 68 | This will give you an instance of `Vinelab\Rss\ArticlesCollection` which is 69 | an extension of [Illuminate\Support\Collection](https://laravel.com/docs/7.x/collections). 70 | Each item of this collection is an instance of `Vinelab\Rss\Article` from which you can safely access any of the properties in the entry. 71 | 72 | **Article** 73 | 74 | Is an object which properties are dynamically accessed such as `$article->title`. 75 | 76 | Whichever fields exist in the feed's entry will be accessible as read-only 77 | property, making `Article` an immutable object. 78 | 79 | You may also call `isset($article->someField)` to check whether the field exists for a designated entry. 80 | 81 | ```php 82 | $article = $articles->first(); 83 | 84 | echo $article->title; // ABBA piano seen raising money, money, money at auction 85 | 86 | echo $article->whatever; // null 87 | ``` 88 | 89 | Or iterate through the articles 90 | ```php 91 | foreach ($feed->articles() as $article) { 92 | $title = $article->title; 93 | } 94 | ``` 95 | 96 | You may also access the article's original XML format with 97 | 98 | ```php 99 | $article->xml(); 100 | ``` 101 | 102 | ### Got Questions? 103 | Reach out in the [issues](https://github.com/vinelab/rss/issues). 104 | 105 | --- 106 | 107 | [MIT LICENSE](/LICENSE) 108 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/samples/2.rss.xml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Scripting News 6 | http://www.scripting.com/ 7 | A weblog about scripting and stuff like that. 8 | en-us 9 | http://radio.weblogs.com/0001015/userland/scriptingNewsLeftLinks.opml 10 | http://radio.weblogs.com/0001015/gems/mySubscriptions.opml 11 | http://diveintomark.org/ 12 | Copyright 1997-2002 Dave Winer 13 | Mon, 30 Sep 2002 11:00:00 GMT 14 | http://backend.userland.com/rss 15 | Radio UserLand v8.0.5 16 | 1765 17 | dave@userland.com 18 | dave@userland.com 19 | 40 20 | 21 | "rssflowersalignright"With any luck we should have one or two more days of namespaces stuff here on Scripting News. It feels like it's winding down. Later in the week I'm going to a <a href="http://harvardbusinessonline.hbsp.harvard.edu/b02/en/conferences/conf_detail.jhtml?id=s775stg&pid=144XCF">conference</a> put on by the Harvard Business School. So that should change the topic a bit. The following week I'm off to Colorado for the <a href="http://www.digitalidworld.com/conference/2002/index.php">Digital ID World</a> conference. We had to go through namespaces, and it turns out that weblogs are a great way to work around mail lists that are clogged with <a href="http://www.userland.com/whatIsStopEnergy">stop energy</a>. I think we solved the problem, have reached a consensus, and will be ready to move forward shortly. 22 | Mon, 30 Sep 2002 01:56:02 GMT 23 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:6:56:02PM 24 | 25 | 26 | Joshua Allen: <a href="http://www.netcrucible.com/blog/2002/09/29.html#a243">Who loves namespaces?</a> 27 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 19:59:01 GMT 28 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:12:59:01PM 29 | 30 | 31 | <a href="http://www.docuverse.com/blog/donpark/2002/09/29.html#a68">Don Park</a>: "It is too easy for engineer to anticipate too much and XML Namespace is a frequent host of over-anticipation." 32 | Mon, 30 Sep 2002 01:52:02 GMT 33 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:6:52:02PM 34 | 35 | 36 | <a href="http://scriptingnews.userland.com/stories/storyReader$1768">Three Sunday Morning Options</a>. "I just got off the phone with Tim Bray, who graciously returned my call on a Sunday morning while he was making breakfast for his kids." We talked about three options for namespaces in RSS 2.0, and I think I now have the tradeoffs well outlined, and ready for other developers to review. If there is now a consensus, I think we can easily move forward. 37 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 17:05:20 GMT 38 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:10:05:20AM 39 | 40 | 41 | <a href="http://blog.mediacooperative.com/mt-comments.cgi?entry_id=1435">Mark Pilgrim</a> weighs in behind option 1 on a Ben Hammersley thread. On the RSS2-Support list, Phil Ringnalda lists a set of <a href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RSS2-Support/message/54">proposals</a>, the first is equivalent to option 1. 42 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 19:09:28 GMT 43 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:12:09:28PM 44 | 45 | 46 | <a href="http://effbot.org/zone/effnews-4.htm">Fredrik Lundh breaks</a> through, following Simon Fell's lead, now his Python aggregator works with Scripting News <a href="http://www.scripting.com/rss.xml">in</a> RSS 2.0. BTW, the spec is imperfect in regards to namespaces. We anticipated a 2.0.1 and 2.0.2 in the Roadmap for exactly this purpose. Thanks for your help, as usual, Fredrik. 47 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 15:01:02 GMT 48 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#When:8:01:02AM 49 | 50 | 51 | Law and Order 52 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#lawAndOrder 53 | 54 | <p><a href="http://www.nbc.com/Law_&_Order/index.html"><img src="http://radio.weblogs.com/0001015/images/2002/09/29/lenny.gif" width="45" height="53" border="0" align="right" hspace="15" vspace="5" alt="A picture named lenny.gif"></a>A great line in a recent Law and Order. Lenny Briscoe, played by Jerry Orbach, is interrogating a suspect. The suspect tells a story and reaches a point where no one believes him, not even the suspect himself. Lenny says: "Now there's five minutes of my life that's lost forever." </p> 55 | 56 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 23:48:33 GMT 57 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#lawAndOrder 58 | 59 | 60 | Rule 1 61 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#rule1 62 | 63 | <p>In the discussions over namespaces in RSS 2.0, one thing I hear a lot of, that is just plain wrong, is that when you move up by a major version number, breakage is expected and is okay. In the world I come from it is, emphatically, <i>not okay.</i> We spend huge resources to make sure that files, scripts and apps built in version N work in version N+1 without modification. Even the smallest change in the core engine can break apps. It's just not acceptable. When we make changes we have to be sure there's no breakage. I don't know where these other people come from, or if they make software that anyone uses, but the users I know don't stand for that. As we expose the tradeoffs it becomes clear that <i>that's the issue here.</i> We are not in Year Zero. There are users. Breaking them is not an option. A conclusion to lift the confusion: Version 0.91 and 0.92 files are valid 2.0 files. This is where we started, what seems like years ago.</p> 64 | <p>BTW, you can ask anyone who's worked for me in a technical job to explain rules 1 and 1b. (I'll clue you in. Rule 1 is "No Breakage" and Rule 1b is "Don't Break Dave.")</p> 65 | 66 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 17:24:20 GMT 67 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#rule1 68 | 69 | 70 | Really early morning no-coffee notes 71 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#reallyEarlyMorningNocoffeeNotes 72 | 73 | <p>One of the lessons I've learned in 47.4 years: When someone accuses you of a <a href="http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=deceit">deceit</a>, there's a very good chance the accuser practices that form of deceit, and a reasonable chance that he or she is doing it as they point the finger. </p> 74 | <p><a href="http://www.docuverse.com/blog/donpark/2002/09/28.html#a66">Don Park</a>: "He poured a barrel full of pig urine all over the Korean Congress because he was pissed off about all the dirty politics going on."</p> 75 | <p><a href="http://davenet.userland.com/1995/01/04/demoingsoftwareforfunprofi">1/4/95</a>: "By the way, the person with the big problem is probably a competitor."</p> 76 | <p>I've had a fair amount of experience in the last few years with what you might call standards work. XML-RPC, SOAP, RSS, OPML. Each has been different from the others. In all this work, the most positive experience was XML-RPC, and not just because of the technical excellence of the people involved. In the end, what matters more to me is <a href="http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=collegiality">collegiality</a>. Working together, person to person, for the sheer pleasure of it, is even more satisfying than a good technical result. Now, getting both is the best, and while XML-RPC is not perfect, it's pretty good. I also believe that if you have collegiality, technical excellence follows as a natural outcome.</p> 77 | <p>One more bit of philosophy. At my checkup earlier this week, one of the things my cardiologist asked was if I was experiencing any kind of intellectual dysfunction. In other words, did I lose any of my sharpness as a result of the surgery in June. I told him yes I had and thanked him for asking. In an amazing bit of synchronicity, the next day John Robb <a href="http://jrobb.userland.com/2002/09/25.html#a2598">located</a> an article in New Scientist that said that scientists had found a way to prevent this from happening. I hadn't talked with John about my experience or the question the doctor asked. Yesterday I was telling the story to my friend Dave Jacobs. He said it's not a problem because I always had excess capacity in that area. Exactly right Big Dave and thanks for the vote of confidence.</p> 78 | 79 | Sun, 29 Sep 2002 11:13:10 GMT 80 | http://scriptingnews.userland.com/backissues/2002/09/29#reallyEarlyMorningNocoffeeNotes 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/samples/0.92.rss.xml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dave Winer: Grateful Dead 6 | http://www.scripting.com/blog/categories/gratefulDead.html 7 | A high-fidelity Grateful Dead song every day. This is where we're experimenting with enclosures on RSS news items that download when you're not using your computer. If it works (it will) it will be the end of the Click-And-Wait multimedia experience on the Internet. 8 | Fri, 13 Apr 2001 19:23:02 GMT 9 | http://backend.userland.com/rss092 10 | dave@userland.com (Dave Winer) 11 | dave@userland.com (Dave Winer) 12 | 13 | It's been a few days since I added a song to the Grateful Dead channel. Now that there are all these new Radio users, many of whom are tuned into this channel (it's #16 on the hotlist of upstreaming Radio users, there's no way of knowing how many non-upstreaming users are subscribing, have to do something about this..). Anyway, tonight's song is a live version of Weather Report Suite from Dick's Picks Volume 7. It's wistful music. Of course a beautiful song, oft-quoted here on Scripting News. <i>A little change, the wind and rain.</i> 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Kevin Drennan started a <a href="http://deadend.editthispage.com/">Grateful Dead Weblog</a>. Hey it's cool, he even has a <a href="http://deadend.editthispage.com/directory/61">directory</a>. <i>A Frontier 7 feature.</i> 19 | Scripting News 20 | 21 | 22 | <a href="http://arts.ucsc.edu/GDead/AGDL/other1.html">The Other One</a>, live instrumental, One From The Vault. Very rhythmic very spacy, you can listen to it many times, and enjoy something new every time. 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | This is a test of a change I just made. Still diggin.. 27 | 28 | 29 | The HTML rendering almost <a href="http://validator.w3.org/check/referer">validates</a>. Close. Hey I wonder if anyone has ever published a style guide for ALT attributes on images? What are you supposed to say in the ALT attribute? I sure don't know. If you're blind send me an email if u cn rd ths. 30 | 31 | 32 | <a href="http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mleone/gdead/dead-lyrics/Franklin's_Tower.txt">Franklin's Tower</a>, a live version from One From The Vault. 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | Moshe Weitzman says Shakedown Street is what I'm lookin for for tonight. I'm listening right now. It's one of my favorites. "Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart." Too bright. I like the jazziness of Weather Report Suite. Dreamy and soft. How about The Other One? "Spanish lady come to me.." 37 | Scripting News 38 | 39 | 40 | <a href="http://www.scripting.com/mp3s/youWinAgain.mp3">The news is out</a>, all over town..<p> 41 | You've been seen, out runnin round. <p> 42 | The lyrics are <a href="http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mleone/gdead/dead-lyrics/You_Win_Again.txt">here</a>, short and sweet. <p> 43 | <i>You win again!</i> 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | <a href="http://www.getlyrics.com/lyrics/grateful-dead/wake-of-the-flood/07.htm">Weather Report Suite</a>: "Winter rain, now tell me why, summers fade, and roses die? The answer came. The wind and rain. Golden hills, now veiled in grey, summer leaves have blown away. Now what remains? The wind and rain." 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | <a href="http://arts.ucsc.edu/gdead/agdl/darkstar.html">Dark Star</a> crashes, pouring its light into ashes. 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | DaveNet: <a href="http://davenet.userland.com/2001/01/21/theUsBlues">The U.S. Blues</a>. 57 | 58 | 59 | Still listening to the US Blues. <i>"Wave that flag, wave it wide and high.."</i> Mistake made in the 60s. We gave our country to the assholes. Ah ah. Let's take it back. Hey I'm still a hippie. <i>"You could call this song The United States Blues."</i> 60 | 61 | 62 | <a href="http://www.sixties.com/html/garcia_stack_0.html"><img src="http://www.scripting.com/images/captainTripsSmall.gif" height="51" width="42" border="0" hspace="10" vspace="10" align="right"></a>In celebration of today's inauguration, after hearing all those great patriotic songs, America the Beautiful, even The Star Spangled Banner made my eyes mist up. It made my choice of Grateful Dead song of the night realllly easy. Here are the <a href="http://searchlyrics2.homestead.com/gd_usblues.html">lyrics</a>. Click on the audio icon to the left to give it a listen. "Red and white, blue suede shoes, I'm Uncle Sam, how do you do?" It's a different kind of patriotic music, but man I love my country and I love Jerry and the band. <i>I truly do!</i> 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | Grateful Dead: "Tennessee, Tennessee, ain't no place I'd rather be." 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | Ed Cone: "Had a nice Deadhead experience with my wife, who never was one but gets the vibe and knows and likes a lot of the music. Somehow she made it to the age of 40 without ever hearing Wharf Rat. We drove to Jersey and back over Christmas with the live album commonly known as Skull and Roses in the CD player much of the way, and it was cool to see her discover one the band's finest moments. That song is unique and underappreciated. Fun to hear that disc again after a few years off -- you get Jerry as blues-guitar hero on Big Railroad Blues and a nice version of Bertha." 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | <a href="http://arts.ucsc.edu/GDead/AGDL/fotd.html">Tonight's Song</a>: "If I get home before daylight I just might get some sleep tonight." 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | <a href="http://arts.ucsc.edu/GDead/AGDL/uncle.html">Tonight's song</a>: "Come hear Uncle John's Band by the river side. Got some things to talk about here beside the rising tide." 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | <a href="http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mleone/gdead/dead-lyrics/Me_and_My_Uncle.txt">Me and My Uncle</a>: "I loved my uncle, God rest his soul, taught me good, Lord, taught me all I know. Taught me so well, I grabbed that gold and I left his dead ass there by the side of the road." 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | Truckin, like the doo-dah man, once told me gotta play your hand. Sometimes the cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay em down. 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | Two-Way-Web: <a href="http://www.thetwowayweb.com/payloadsForRss">Payloads for RSS</a>. "When I started talking with Adam late last year, he wanted me to think about high quality video on the Internet, and I totally didn't want to hear about it." 92 | 93 | 94 | A touch of gray, kinda suits you anyway.. 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | <a href="http://www.sixties.com/html/garcia_stack_0.html"><img src="http://www.scripting.com/images/captainTripsSmall.gif" height="51" width="42" border="0" hspace="10" vspace="10" align="right"></a>In celebration of today's inauguration, after hearing all those great patriotic songs, America the Beautiful, even The Star Spangled Banner made my eyes mist up. It made my choice of Grateful Dead song of the night realllly easy. Here are the <a href="http://searchlyrics2.homestead.com/gd_usblues.html">lyrics</a>. Click on the audio icon to the left to give it a listen. "Red and white, blue suede shoes, I'm Uncle Sam, how do you do?" It's a different kind of patriotic music, but man I love my country and I love Jerry and the band. <i>I truly do!</i> 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /tests/samples/valid.xml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | XXXchurch: STUDENTS BLOG - XXXchurch 4 | Wed, 04 Dec 2013 05:00:00 -0500 5 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/blog-rss.xml 6 | Blogs from XXXchurch 7 | Copyright: (c) 2013 XXXchurch 8 | 9 | What To Do When You're Not the Virgin Mary 10 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/what-to-do-when-youre-not-the-virgin-mary.html 11 | Wed, 04 Dec 2013 05:00:00 -0500 12 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/what-to-do-when-youre-not-the-virgin-mary.html 13 | <p><strong>[Editor's note: Today's post is an excerpt from "Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex" by Craig Gross and Mike Foster]</strong></p> 14 | <p>QUESTION: I think I am pregnant. I don't know how it happened. I was told I could not get pregnant if it was my first time. How can I hide this from my parents?</p> 15 | <p>I'm sorry you were given such bad information regarding the possibility of getting pregnant your first time. This is the type of confusion that causes people to make inappropriate decisions. However, the greater issue is not how you got pregnant, but that you want to hide this matter from your parents. </p> 16 | <p>It is understandable that you would be apprehensive about telling them the truth. That is a normal fear. It's likely they will be disappointed in your situation, scared for your future, and may not be able to trust you to make the right decisions for a while. It will be a difficult time. But being pregnant does not cause God to love you any less. He loves you more now than ever, and he loves the child that is developing inside of you, too. I encourage you to <a href="http://www.x3confessions.com/teens/confessions.html" target="_blank">confess</a> your past wrongs and mistakes to God, and then move beyond them and get back into a healthy decision-making process. </p> 17 | <p>The first good decision you need to make right now is to begin taking the best possible care of the child inside of you. To do this, you need to tell your parents--and his parents--about this immediately. If you need to take a youth pastor, teacher, coach, or trusted adult with you for support, then that's great. But tell them today! They need to know so they can assist you with the next step. </p> 18 | <p>Second, schedule a doctor's appointment today. Let the doctor examine your health and the baby's. Prenatal vitamins, ultrasounds, governmental medical assistance for mothers and children, and possible insurance coverage are all elements that your folks need to help you with as soon as possible. And if they won't help you, find someone who will!</p> 19 | <p>Finally, ask God for health and strength. Acknowledge that you missed the mark. Get beyond the past by committing and dedicating this child to God. He will lead you and guide you in every step of the journey. </p> 20 | <p>When you think about all of this today. I know it seems overwhelming. And God knows it's overwhelming. This feeling of desperation is just one of the feelings that God wanted to protect you from by establishing his instructions for purity. On the other hand, the enemy will try to convince you that you will never succeed and you will never live a normal life. This is FALSE! There are many women, men, and children who were adversely affected by an unplanned pregnancy and still succeeded in accomplishing their goals and dreams. Will it be easy? No. Is it possible? Yes! Will you succeed? YES.</p> 21 | <p>Our prayers are with you and your child.</p> 22 | 23 | 24 | What Can You Celebrate? 25 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/what-can-you-celebrate.html 26 | Fri, 29 Nov 2013 05:00:00 -0500 27 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/what-can-you-celebrate.html 28 | <p>This is a great question, especially as we come to the end of the year. When we are in the midst of an addiction or a bad situation, it is undoubtably hard at times to celebrate. Often, there are things to celebrate, but there are so many things that still need to be overcome that we tend to focus on what we still lack, whatever that may be. <a href="http://bible.com/116/1th.5.16-18.nlt" target="_blank">1 Thessalonians 5:16-18</a> tell us to "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."God absolutely cares about our circumstances, but He cares more about who we ARE than what we DO. That's why He tells us to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5). Giving thanks takes practice, and rejoicing is even harder, but as you follow the will of your Creator by giving thanks in all circumstances, who you are begins to shift and you become a little more like Him.When I used to think about rejoicing, I thought it was a feeling. But we're also encouraged to "rejoice in our sufferings" (Romans 5), so that means rejoicing is more than a feeling. It's a choice. Yes, it's a feeling as well, but we don't have to wait until we feel like it to rejoice or to praise our God for everything He's done already. In the church world, the word "worship" usually means something like singing or bowing down to God, but it's so much more than that! We can also worship by living within the design God intended for us, and this includes celebrating, being thankful, having a cookout, and whatever else we do as His image-bearers. I have a lot to overcome, and this can distract me from being grateful for the freedoms I've already obtained. There will always be more that needs done, but if we are patiently moving forward, through grace, we will always have freedoms to celebrate. In what areas have you experienced freedom? Are you free from struggling on your own? Rejoice. Are you free from keeping everything a secret? Rejoice. Are you free from wondering if you are the only one? Rejoice. Do you belong to Jesus? Rejoice! He makes all things new. Make a list of everything you are thankful for, even if all you can think of is that God loves you. Be creative. Then celebrate however quietly or loudly you wish. Pray in a quiet room or throw a party to celebrate whatever you are thankful for. It's your choice, but rejoice! You are worth much more than what you've done or seen.</p> 29 | 30 | 31 | Accountability: Why? 32 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/accountability-why.html 33 | Sat, 23 Nov 2013 05:00:00 -0500 34 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/accountability-why.html 35 | <p>The question may arise while you're looking through this site: why do I need <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3watch</a>? I asked myself the same question when I was a young student with my own computer as well. The answer is pretty simple: we need <a href="/help.html" target="_blank">help</a>. Whether or not we realize it, we are a generation that is highly sexualized, facing temptation, and ready to act on the urges that haunt us all. I don't have <a href="/teens/stats.html" target="_blank">stats</a> to back this up, but I would venture to say that the majority of students who view pornography on the internet do not &ldquo;accidentally stumble upon it.&rdquo; We have a problem. That is why we need <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">accountability</a>.The Bible says in <a href="http://bible.com/116/mat.5.28.nlt" target="_blank">Matthew 5:28</a> &ldquo;But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.&rdquo; Porn is yet another way Satan tries to convince our friends, families, girlfriends, boyfriends, and our churches that cheating is &ldquo;not a sin.&rdquo; But the fact remains: viewing pornography is cheating, and cheating destroys the <a href="http://x3pure.com" target="_blank">purity</a> that so many students want to maintain.Still unsure? Then consider this: pornography destroys your purity and gives you an unrealistic and skewed picture of what a healthy relationship should look like. Later on in life these skewed thoughts may very well negatively affect the relationship between you and your spouse, hindering you from understanding the true meaning of what it is to love. Installing a program such as<a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank"> X3watch</a> can help form true <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">accountability</a> whether on your computer or other device. By simply setting an adult, Christian friend, or even your pastor as your accountability partner, your faith with be strengthened and you will find it easier to resist temptation.True love is something to be guarded and we should view it as a major priority in our lives. An addiction to pornography could wreck a good marriage or relationship. With that being said, it is crucial that we remain <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">accountable</a> and <a href="http://www.x3pure.com" target="_blank">pure</a> in our relationships. As young people in a modern generation we must do anything possible to fulfill God&rsquo;s will completely.</p> 36 | 37 | 38 | Are You A Team Player? You Should Be. 39 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/are-you-a-team-player-you-should-be.html 40 | Sat, 16 Nov 2013 05:00:00 -0500 41 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/are-you-a-team-player-you-should-be.html 42 | <p>It's football season--a good time think about the value of <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3watch</a> and why it should be part of your game plan for sexual <a href="http://www.x3pure.com" target="_blank">purity</a>.You were built to be on a team! Humans are hardwired to connect with others, created to work best as part of a team. God wasn&rsquo;t kidding when he said, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s not good for man to be alone&rdquo; or when He put all those &ldquo;one another&rdquo; passages in the New Testament. Those who are successful in their sexual purity strategies are those who learn how to come out of isolation and <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">link arms</a> with others. Get off the bench and play! No more Monday morning quarterbacking. No more fantasy leagues. When it comes to sexual purity, too many of us who struggle with porn are sitting in the stands, watching, or we're sitting on the bench, looking the part, but never playing. <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3watch</a> is a commitment from you saying, &ldquo;Coach, play me!&rdquo;Get a strong defense! <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3watch</a> brings strong software to your computer, setting up a good barrier that makes it harder for you to act out. A solid defense doesn&rsquo;t win the purity game, but it does help you keep many enemies out of your territory.Find an opportunity for a good offense! <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3watch</a> gives you the avenues to partner with other individuals, send them your weekly report, and meet with them regularly. We protect the scoreboard with our defense. We add to the scoreboard with our offense.Be a key player in the big game! A strong football team drills a lot of areas: defense, offense, learning plays, special teams, coaching, film study, and conditioning. <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">X3Watch</a> can be a strong part of your strategy, but you&rsquo;ll need to be strong in many areas to win. Enjoy your football this season, but take each game as a reminder to evaluate your own strategy for sexual purity. Start with a strong defense and build up the rest. Get in the game. Play to win!<strong>[Editor's note: if you want to get serious about sexual purity, here are some other resources from XXXchurch that can help]</strong><a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">X3Groups</a> &ndash; get into an online group with others working on their purity and led by trained XXXchurch team members<a href="http://www.x3pure.com" target="_blank">X3Pure</a> &ndash; 30 days to purity, great training through online videos from sexual purity expertsXXXchurch Blogs &ndash; top writers share the best they know about succeeding in the purity journey<a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/#books" target="_blank">XXXchurch Books</a> &ndash; Great books from Craig Gross to help you focus and learn (including <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/639/open" target="_blank">Open</a>, <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/76/pure_eyes" target="_blank">Pure Eyes</a>, <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/77/pure_heart" target="_blank">Pure Heart</a>, and <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/463/eyes_of_integrity__digital_download" target="_blank">Eyes of Integrity</a>)</p> 43 | 44 | 45 | Voices #18: Levi of Miss May I 46 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/voices-18-levi-of-miss-may-i.html 47 | Mon, 11 Nov 2013 05:00:00 -0500 48 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/voices-18-levi-of-miss-may-i.html 49 | <p>We talk to a lot of bands in our travels all expressing a variety of opinions and thoughts on things like porn and sex. In the <a href="/teens/voices.html" target="_blank">Voices</a> series we have had the priveledge of interviewing 18 bands (so far).&nbsp; Some of their views we agree with and some we don't.&nbsp; Some are Christian and some aren't.&nbsp; In this video Levi makes the comment that porn is "ok."&nbsp; We clearly don't agree with this opinion as we beileve any porn is too much porn. Regardless, we are grateful to Levi and all of these artists for taking the time to hang with us and talk about these things no matter what their opinions may be.</p> 50 | <p>In this episode of Voices we talk to Levi Benton from Miss May I.&nbsp; Watch the video and let us know what you think.</p> 51 | <p></p> 52 | <p></p> 53 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 54 | <p><strong>Temptations:</strong> The biggest thing is the ladies thing, especially when you're in a band. I&rsquo;ve been with the same lady since before I was in a band and now we're engaged. I see everything around me and girls are definitely throwing themselves out there after shows. For me it&rsquo;s knowing I have someone at home and I don't really want to mess that up because I got something at home. That and drugs are a really big thing on tour.<strong>Thoughts on porn:</strong> It's mixed thoughts and my lady is probably going to disagree but I feel like it&rsquo;s just another form of entertainment. I don't think it should be as bashed as much as it&rsquo;s bashed. For some people, it&rsquo;s like their favorite entertainment. I know it gets a lot of bad beef and everything. For me, I have a lady so I can't really do that, that's not my cup of tea. As a whole I think it&rsquo;s another form of entertainment. I think its messed up it gets so much bad beef because to me there's so many other forms of entertainment that I think are worse than that. They're just trying to make people happy and they're happy doing it.<strong>What would your lady say?</strong>She thinks it&rsquo;s the worst thing ever, she thinks its disgusting. I know it looks like that to some people but to me as like a job and financial thing it&rsquo;s just another form of how they entertain people. I&rsquo;m pretty set on her. I don't mess up on tour. I&rsquo;m just excited to go home.<strong>Have you seen signs of porn addiction?</strong> It&rsquo;s a weird thing. I do have friends who I feel are not addicted, just little pervs. I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s a big thing to be addicted to. I guess if you're feeling like watching it then watch it. I don't think threes a way to get addicted to it. Like I said, I think it&rsquo;s just another form of entertainment. If they don't have a lady to go home to at night, then whatever makes them happy I guess. They're not hurting anybody.&nbsp;<strong>Sex in music:</strong>The worst thing is that that's what sells T-shirts. If they put a naked girl on it or the F word, it&rsquo;s like it instantly sells. It sucks and its cheap money but people like it. Walking around Warped tour and seeing like a 14 year old girl wearing a T-shirt with a naked girl and the F word on it just sucks. It&rsquo;s not really filtered for like adults. That's the only thing that I think is messed up. I don't think that kind of entertainment is bad; it&rsquo;s just for a certain age. It&rsquo;s an 18 and up kind of thing.<strong>What is your advice to girls?</strong> I always think "What would your mother say?" At the end of the day anytime something does happen, it's like "Oh I have a girl at home&rdquo;, but at the end of the day&nbsp;I always think what would your mother say?"&nbsp; If you're raised right, there's a lot of things you shouldn't be doing out there, you should just think about what if your parents saw you wearing that shirt or saw you talking to this guy. I think at the end of the day you should think about "What would your mom say?"</p> 55 | 56 | 57 | Do I Have To? 58 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/do-i-have-to.html 59 | Thu, 07 Nov 2013 05:00:00 -0500 60 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/do-i-have-to.html 61 | <p>Once I was teaching about sin at a Bible school when one student raised his hand and asked, "Now which is it: do I have to confess my sins to someone else or can I just take them directly to God?" The question got a bit of a laugh from his classmates, especially when he added, "Because there are some things I'm taking to the grave!"So which is it? Does confession simply need to go vertical to God? Or does it need to go horizontal to my spouse, friend, pastor, therapist, or <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">accountability partner</a>? This is an okay question but it misses the mark. Oftentimes in my own life of attempting to conquer sexual temptation or seeing others try to leave the shackles of pornography, it looks more like the Lone Ranger, Jack Bauer, or Spider-Man than the Three Musketeers, the Avengers, or the A-Team. It's me and God against the big bad porn monster instead of me, God, and a family or a <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">community</a> of friends taking it on.Don't get me wrong here, if you try and replace God with a person in your quest to leave pornography, you are setting yourself up to fail miserably. But I also believe that God tells us very clearly to "confess our trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (<a href="http://bible.com/114/jas.5.16.nkjv" target="_blank">James 5:16 NKJV</a>). We will also fail miserably if we use our relationship with God as an excuse to not build <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">relationship</a> with others.What if God is not only interested in you being free from porn? What if He wants you also to be placed in dynamic, brave, open, and caring friendships that contribute to your fight for sexual freedom? Since you are addicted to sexual sin, this is an opportunity for you to ditch porn so you can know God better, but also a time for you to enter into authentic friendships.</p> 62 | 63 | 64 | My Road to Accountability 65 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/my-road-to-accountability.html 66 | Wed, 30 Oct 2013 04:00:00 -0400 67 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/my-road-to-accountability.html 68 | <p><strong>[Editor's note: today's post is an excerpt from Craig Gross's book <em>Open</em>. For more information, visit <a href="http://getopen.com" target="_blank">GetOpen.com</a>]</strong>My own experience with accountability started in my teenage years, the summer after my sophomore year in high school, when my youth pastor, Tom, sought me out and asked me if I wanted to start meeting with him at McDonald&rsquo;s before school on Wednesdays. I initially balked at the six o&rsquo;clock meeting time&mdash;any time before noon is early for an adolescent male&mdash;<strong> </strong>but after thinking it through I began to see how this could be beneficial for me and agreed.See, as an outgoing, fun-loving fellow, I had plenty of friends at the time, but they were just pals and acquaintances, the types of guys I could talk about girls with or go see a movie with or just hang out with. Do all those normal teenage shenanigans with.What I was lacking was a person I could really open up to. But not only that&mdash;I was also lacking the ability to <a href="http://getopen.com" target="_blank">open</a> up. I didn&rsquo;t know how to do it or how to even go about doing it, and sometimes I didn&rsquo;t even know I needed to do it.Then Tom came along with this opportunity to start meeting with him. I took him up on his offer, and not long after that we started our <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">weekly meetings</a> under the golden arches. Finally, at long last, I had a person in my life I felt I could share real stuff with&mdash;stuff about my faith, about my doubts and fears, about my dreams for life and what those looked like. About the struggles and temptations I had as I stepped into adulthood, and how well or poorly I wrestled with those struggles and temptations.Even better, though, was that I now had the opportunity to listen as Tom shared with me some of the challenges he had in his own life. Maybe it sounds weird, but I didn&rsquo;t feel like he was unloading on me or using me as an ear to vent into&mdash;he was just trusting me with a small part of his inner world, a part that I was old enough and mature enough to hear about. He was showing me the flip side of <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">accountability</a>&mdash;it&rsquo;s not all about talking; it&rsquo;s just as much about listening. There I was, a teenage kid, awed and amazed at Tom&rsquo;s ability to listen to me as I poured out my heart and his willingness to share a little bit of his heart with me. I couldn&rsquo;t believe it. I had mistakenly thought adults had it all together. You can imagine the paradigm shift I underwent the first time I heard Tom talk about some of the challenges he faced in his own life. Here was a guy who had progressed much further in life than I had, who had his career and life plan figured out, and he still had struggles.It was liberating.</p> 69 | 70 | 71 | Trusting God: Terrifying? 72 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/trusting-god-terrifying.html 73 | Thu, 24 Oct 2013 04:00:00 -0400 74 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/trusting-god-terrifying.html 75 | <p>August 17, 1999 is what I call my "spiritual birthday," marking the day 14 years ago that Jesus came into my life. But, truth be told, I didn't begin walking into the light from my darkness until August of 2009--a full ten years later.&nbsp; Having dealt with an addiction to porn for twelve years of my life, I found that for many years I only "thought" that I had really given my life to Christ and begun to trust him.&nbsp; But I hadn't gone all the way. Whether it's a porn addiction or another heart issue, choosing to trust God completely doesn't come in one single decision--it comes in a series of decisions that you make on a daily basis, decisions which then translate into actions lived out in your life.&nbsp; I discovered that it wasn't enough to simply "claim" Jesus as my Savior, because I was "following" Jesus and yet was still addicted to porn! I really wasn't ready to fully surrender because in truth, I still enjoyed my sin way too much to trust God with it.Fast forward to 2009. I began to change my decisions, which began to change my behaviors, which began to change me.&nbsp; If anything, in the last four years of my life, I've found that trusting God IS risky.&nbsp; Being vulnerable and <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">trusting other men</a> IS risky. Why? Because Jesus promises us that NOTHING will be the same when our hearts, minds, and our lives are completely His.As much as we like to think that we like "new" things in life, at the deeper core of our beings we often cherish the "old" things.&nbsp; We loved what we're used to.&nbsp; These things bring us comfort (or what we fool ourselves to think is comfort). For so many people, trusting God with their lives is terrifying. Why? Because it means change. It means different. Trust implies more than a decision, because if I'm going to trust God COMPLETELY, it means I must do the following things, which can be more than a little scary:- Let go of what's familiar and comfortable (sin, habits, addiction, destructive behaviors, etc.)- Embrace the reality of grace (God has forgiven you and will help you with your mess!)- Understand that by trusting God, you must also begin to trust other people!Honestly, I'm STILL learning to trust God completely on a daily basis. This also works in conjunction with how much I'm willing to trust other people as well. If I'm afraid to trust and I think other people are going to think I'm weird, gross, or disgusting because I'm a recovering sex addict, what does that say about my ability to trust God completely?The process of trusting God completely is worth it. And if you commit to it, it will change your life.Something terrifying can become comforting. Trust me.</p> 76 | 77 | 78 | Fear: Not Just For Halloween 79 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/fear-not-just-for-halloween.html 80 | Wed, 02 Oct 2013 04:00:00 -0400 81 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/fear-not-just-for-halloween.html 82 | <p>Though it can be pretty scary, feeling fear is a normal part of <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">sexual addiction recovery.</a> We cross relational lines. We go places on our computer and mobile phones we're not supposed to go. We violate trust with our parents. We will naturally feel guilty... then shameful... then fearful. But fear quickly turns destructive when we don't air it out.Fear paralyzes us, so we don't bring it into the open. We don't share it with anyone else. Afraid of the consequences that might result in airing out our fears, we stay in isolation.Fear allows the devil to win. When our struggles stay hidden, darkness grows. So here are two small steps you can take TODAY to start conquering your fears.SMALL STEP #1 - WRITE THEM OUTMake a list of your own fears. What fears are keeping you from sharing your struggles with others? Write them down in a notebook. You don't have to give them to anyone. Just get them down on paper. Be honest with yourself.Here were the fears that kept me isolated and prevented me from sharing. Maybe they'll give you courage:1. My family would be devastated2. What people would think of me3. I might have to change4. I might lose my job5. I might lose my ministry6. I might go to jail7. I'm afraid of pain8. I don't want to lose my freedoms9. What if my friends reject me?10. What if it makes life worse?11. It's just better to lie12. I won't be accepted for who I am13. My church will find out and shun me14. People will know I'm a liar15. People will think I'm a pervertStart by being truthful with yourself, searching for the <a href="http://www.x3pure.com" target="_blank">real reasons</a> you continue your behaviors. God wants to help us with these fears, but first we must get them out on the tableSMALL STEP #2 - TALK TO GOD ABOUT YOUR LISTHave the courage to involve God in these fears (whether you believe in Him or not, whether you are angry at Him or not). Begin a conversation with Him. Be brutally honest with God, even if you have to be angry... even if you have to cuss. God can take it.I think you will be amazed at how these little steps open up a part of you that has been swimming in darkness. And eventually, you'll learn the freedom that comes from no longer being afraid.</p> 83 | 84 | 85 | Here We Go Again 86 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/here-we-go-again.html 87 | Sat, 28 Sep 2013 07:00:00 -0400 88 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/here-we-go-again.html 89 | <p>Here we go again, entering another school year. School has changed a bit since I was a student. It is incredible how technology has progressed and created such new and powerful ways for us to learn things. It&rsquo;s amazing to me that I can carry in my pocket an overgrown, credit-card-sized device that I can use to instantly call my friends in Kenya halfway around the planet, and not only talk to them but also video chat with them live--any time I want. It&rsquo;s a great privilege to be able to use such amazing technology.But there is a downside to that same technology, because I can also lie in my bed at night, when everyone else in the house is asleep, and watch movies and see pictures of all kinds of things. When I was a kid, I used to have to sneak porn magazines into the house and hide them under the mattress, then sneak some time in the bathroom to look at the pictures. Not anymore. Now you can share and be shown all kinds of garbage by your classmates while eating lunch or listening to the teacher give some boring lesson.&nbsp; It is so much more tempting now than it was years ago. The world around us also has told us that things that were generally considered unacceptable and bad years ago are not really bad anymore, like using near-naked women in advertisements. Back in the day, bra commercials used dummies to model bras and you never saw a real person on TV doing it. Those days are long gone. The world sets an &ldquo;acceptable&rdquo; level of stuff that is always changing, so you can be sitting on your computer doing homework and get <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">pop-ups or video ads</a> that years ago would have gotten a movie an R-rating. So with this great advance in technology comes a greater responsibility to resist the temptation to follow &ldquo;acceptable&rdquo; standards that lead us down unprofitable paths. At the very least, if you are supposed to be writing a research paper, don&rsquo;t instead be looking at Rhianna&rsquo;s butt. <a href="https://www.bible.com/bible/111/rom.12.1-2.niv" target="_blank">Romans 12:1-2 </a>says, &ldquo;Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God&rsquo;s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God&ndash;this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God&rsquo;s will is &ndash;his good, pleasing and perfect will.&rdquo;It pays off for us in many ways. You not only get more homework done, but you also get help maturing in life in general by learning self-control and perseverance.<a href="https://www.bible.com/bible/111/1jn.2.16-17.niv" target="_blank">1 John 2:16-17</a> &ldquo;For everything in the world&ndash;-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does&ndash;comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.&rdquo;Some things change, like the world's standards. But others remain the same--and those are the things we need to focus on this school year. . . and beyond.</p> 90 | 91 | 92 | How Far Is Too Far? 93 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-far-is-too-far.html 94 | Tue, 24 Sep 2013 04:00:00 -0400 95 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-far-is-too-far.html 96 | <p><strong>[Editor's note: Today's post is an excerpt from <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/586/questions_you_cant_ask_your_mama_digital_download" target="_blank"><em>Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex</em></a> by Craig Gross and Mike Foster. For more info on this easy-to-read, informative book, check out the <a href="http://xxxchurch.shopsilentempire.com/product/586/questions_you_cant_ask_your_mama_digital_download" target="_blank">XXXchurch store</a>.]</strong><strong>Question:</strong> How far is "too far" sexually when you are not married?Well, this is the big question for many young people, so it's probably a good starting point. The simple fact is that God does not map out word for word in the Bible what is and is not okay. It sure would be nice if he did. But the Bible does give us a lot of guidance regarding the age-old question of "How far is too far?" Repeatedly the Bible says not to be sexually immoral. The Bible does not say just to avoid the act of sexual intercourse outside of marriage, but to avoid sexual immorality. In other words, God wants us to be sexually <a href="http://x3pure.com">pure</a>. <strong>Question:</strong> So sex is more than just intercourse?The definition of sex needs to be widened to consider more than just intercourse. There are many sexual acts that are not intercourse. Is the action done to cause arousal? If so, it's sexual. It is hard to be sexually pure in mind and body if you are constantly pushing the limits of what is, or is not, okay. When you push the physical or sexual boundaries when you're dating, it can be like a drug. What was exciting at first starts to seem less exciting--so you move on to the next level because you want to feel the next "high&hellip;"Sexual intimacy binds people together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Each of these three elements is distinct from the others, yet they are dependent on one another at the same time. Sex is a beautiful mystery and a blessing when it is handled appropriately, and it is completely destructive when it is not.</p> 97 | 98 | 99 | School's Back. Are You Ready? 100 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/schools-back-are-you-ready.html 101 | Tue, 17 Sep 2013 07:00:00 -0400 102 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/schools-back-are-you-ready.html 103 | <p>When I was a little kid, I would wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready for school. I'd excitedly eat my cereal or pop-tarts--almost shove them down--before being dropped off for school at the gate and running as fast as I could to get out on the playground with my friends. I loved school. I still do. It&rsquo;s because I love to learn. I soak up information all day, every day. I read books voraciously. I check out the news morning, noon, and night. I listen to subject-specific podcasts and do everything I can to better myself every day. I am sure you do the same. Or at least you should. You should want to better yourself, or at least prepare yourself for whatever lies before you. If you're a student with an exam on Friday, you start preparing yourself for the exam on Monday, or before if you need to. If you are an athlete, you train your body and make sure it is up to the task every time you practice and play. Bottom line: if you want to excel in life, you must always be prepared. So as you get ready to head back to school, I would like to ask you a very simple question: Are you ready? Sure, you probably know how you'll be studying, and what after-school activities you'll participate in. But are you prepared for what your eyes may see and where your mind may wander? The Bible says to set your mind on things above. And while that is an easy thing to remember, it is much more difficult to put into practice. What if you walk out to the football field and see a little too much from the cheerleading squad? Or open up the computer to research that paper, only to have a link take you to a site you know you shouldn't be looking at? Now let's ask that simple question again: Are you ready? When you come across the field incident or something on the <a href="http://x3watch.com" target="_blank">computer,</a> do you have a plan in place? Are you prepared? If you are not prepared and do not plan, the likelihood of succeeding is next to nil; it just won't happen. Just like that test. Just like the sport you love.No plan = no win. Plan = win. It's your choice. Me? I choose to have a plan and be prepared. If you would like <a href="/help.html" target="_blank">help</a> in creating a plan, please check out our reccomended action steps on the <a href="/help.html" target="_blank">help page</a>.</p> 104 | 105 | 106 | Porn "And Stuff" 107 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-and-stuff.html 108 | Wed, 04 Sep 2013 07:00:00 -0400 109 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-and-stuff.html 110 | <p>As an unashamed, former addict who overcame porn and became a youth pastor, cabin counselor, and small group leader, I have the porn conversation pretty often. In our groups, it starts with a few comments about respect to each other's story, then I tell my story of struggle and freedom. This usually leads to a time of confession and place for<a href="http://getopen.com" target="_blank"> openness</a>. It's great!The problem for students is this: while it's easy to say "porn," it's a lot tougher to confess to masturbation. Hence: "Porn 'and stuff.'" Like, really. . . what else could "and stuff" be?Researchers are finding through the field of neuroscience that porn is <em>really</em> bad for our brains and for our culture, but let's be real: masturbation is the same thing, yet even more hidden! As teen guys, looking at gorgeous girls is a popular thing to do, while masturbation is hidden and embarrassing - and intensifies feelings of guilt and eventual loneliness.While there are many differing opinions on masturbation, habitual masturbation will almost always lead to more pornography - that's the thing with this "stuff": we always want more and we always want something we haven't had before! So let's stop pretending that "and stuff" isn't an issue, let's get real and honest! Now, I'm only 23, but have worked with hundreds of young men through this "stuff." The battle is big and we need a lot of <a href="http://x3groups.com" target="_blank">support</a> - but the relief and freedom that flood over a young man when he confesses that, maybe, just maybe, there is a bit more to the story than just "I looked at porn once or twice when I was younger" is intense. And at <a href="http://xxxchurch.com">XXXchurch.com</a> we are all about freedom! And of the hundreds of students I've worked with, I've never heard a story of when they confessed to a father, brother, or mentor, that the other person loved them any less. In fact, it's always been the opposite - the relationship always got more real, which is what we are searching for in the first place! Masturbation and porn are just ways we try and feel love, so replacing them with a true, real relationship is one of the powerful things we can do in our battle!In light of this truth, let's get <a href="http://getopen.com" target="_blank">honest!</a> Tell someone who you know loves you! Then have a cookie, give yourself a high five, or grab ice cream with a friend. As you begin to fight the battle of masturbation and porn, celebrate your victories and know that we are cheering and joyful right along side of you!One last word of encouragement. As you consider confessing and getting open (check out Craig Gross's new book <em><a href="http://getopen.com" target="_blank">Open</a></em>) do not feel guilty for not having the guts to do it right away. As much as we push openness and honesty, sometimes failure at this honesty actually leads to more guilt - ignore it! Confession or not, we still care about you and are rooting for you!</p> 111 | 112 | 113 | Porn Is Dehumanizing 114 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-dehumanizing.html 115 | Wed, 28 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 116 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-dehumanizing.html 117 | <p class="p1">It&rsquo;s an interesting contradiction; we enjoy porn because we convince ourselves that the people performing in it are enjoying it as well. We think that we can become that great at sex because the images we see reinforce our fantasies. Ironically, the very thing we get the most joy out of is the most faked part of pornography. Once you can fully come to terms with the fact that what you&rsquo;re watching is 100% fake on so many levels, the appeal that porn offers will start to diminish. It&rsquo;s become such a mis-education in something designed to be so intimate and beautiful that when it comes time for you to do the deed, you&rsquo;ll probably fumble around like an idiot because not all men and women are porn stars. And if you are having sex with a porn star (well, that&rsquo;s another topic I suppose) I guarantee that they probably don&rsquo;t like to discuss work at home, if you know what I mean. Some would argue that those involved in pornography like what they do. &ldquo;Who wouldn&rsquo;t? Getting to have sex all day AND get paid!&rdquo; What you don&rsquo;t hear about is the endless amounts of physical and emotional pain and damage that this lifestyle can cause. What you are watching is abuse, not to mention possibly illegal. &nbsp;</p> 118 | <p class="p1">I was once discussing the pitfalls of porn with a friend, using the age old explanation that porn is fake, misleading and will build your sexual confidence to a level that you will never actually reach etc. His answer was &ldquo;Well, I really only like watching the real ones, like people&rsquo;s sex tapes, and those are obviously real so I don&rsquo;t really get those high expectations.&rdquo; I&rsquo;m not gonna lie, that was a really good rebuttal. Was he justified though? Ahhh, not quite. Porn is porn. We are not made to watch others engage in something so private. Porn is damage on top of damage on top of damage. That woman, who you&rsquo;re getting off to, who looks like she&rsquo;s enjoying every second of it, is an actress, and more than likely, that &ldquo;sexy look&rdquo; is her attempt at enduring pain. Our bodies were not designed for this. Many actors in porn films have made claims of prior sexual abuse in their lives, not all make this claim but I would venture a guess that a large percentage would. Do you think these women dreamed of this as little girls?&nbsp;</p> 119 | <p class="p2">&nbsp;&ldquo;Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. The porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. Some of us caught HIV from coercion ('Work or never work again'). Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. We&rsquo;re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of you who continue to abuse us.&rdquo; &ndash; Former actress Shelly Lubben</p> 120 | <p class="p2">&nbsp;What goes on behind the scenes is much more shocking than what you&rsquo;re seeing on your screen. Drugs, alcohol, addiction, suicide, spousal and child abuse-all for the sake of &ldquo;entertainment&rdquo; and to get ourselves "off." We are so selfish to indulge in this type of affliction. Porn is dehumanizing in so many ways, not only to those watching but to those who we employ by supporting their profession. Start the boycott in your own life. &nbsp;Fight for those who do not have a voice and who need your help. &nbsp;<a href="/theindustry/" target="_blank">Jesus loves porn stars</a> just as much as He loves you, and He wants to see everyone delivered from this pain.&nbsp;</p> 121 | 122 | 123 | Porn is Like a Drug 124 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-like-a-drug.html 125 | Wed, 21 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 126 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-like-a-drug.html 127 | <p>I&rsquo;ve never done drugs, any drugs, outside of an early-age bout with Flintstones chewables (20 years clean), but I think I can successfully draw some comparisons between porn and drugs. You gotta have it, right? Nothing else matters until you&rsquo;re satiated. The thoughts, the movements, the sounds, the images somehow dance and drown simultaneously in your mind. You become consumed, body and brain, until you get your fix. Ah, there it is, you feel good, for about two seconds, then the guilt sets in, then sleep. When you wake up, you remember your previous night&rsquo;s activities and guilt sets in once more. Fast forward to the next evening or maybe just the next time you&rsquo;re alone, and there it is again, that craving, that desire to be &ldquo;fulfilled&rdquo;.</p> 128 | <p>I wonder what it would be like if drugs were as easily obtainable as porn. What if you could get high with simply a few clicks. Would it be as appealing to secure that two second high if you didn&rsquo;t spend hours and hours searching for it? On the flip side, what if you had to procure your pornography by calling your &ldquo;guy&rdquo; or hoping that some friends bring some extra to a party? Would you proudly display your evidence on your kitchen table or in your Facebook photos as many do with their drug paraphernalia? The point is that these two addictions can draw many similar attributes as well as outcomes. Porn makes you withdraw from others and from things you used to love. You become completely consumed in the addiction.</p> 129 | <p>Again, what any addiction comes back around to is the importance of accountability. This being XXXChurch&rsquo;s main message, you may have heard all different angles of the topic. What I want to convey here is the sheer necessity for the RIGHT kind of accountability. I&rsquo;ve been in groups where most of us considered ourselves to be at the same level of struggle. This by itself is not a bad thing. But what happened was that we met, we talked, everyone agreed, and then no conversations were had thereafter. What happened? Was everyone magically cured of their challenges simply by having that initial conversation? No, what happened was that no action was taken. Since everyone seemed to be on the same page, a mentality of &ldquo;Well, if I&rsquo;m screwing up at least I know that all these other guys are on the same wavelength as my mistakes&rdquo; began to set in. THIS IS NOT THE GROUP TO BE IN! There was no motivation to quit, only to not exceed the par set by the others. That&rsquo;s like working a job just hard enough not to get fired.</p> 130 | <p>Real, true accountability partners have to tell you like it is. They have to be those blunt but helpful people that addicts naturally steer clear of. &nbsp;Ask someone you&rsquo;re not that comfortable with to begin with, but you know is solid in their beliefs and will promise to call you out on your BS when needed. I&rsquo;ve learned time and time again, this is not something you do alone. You&rsquo;re simply not strong enough, which is a hard concept to accept but is truly the first step toward kicking the habit for good. You can be delivered from pornography, I&rsquo;ve seen it and it&rsquo;s a beautiful thing. Keep at it.&nbsp;</p> 131 | 132 | 133 | Voices #17 - Toby From Emery 134 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/voices-17-toby-from-emery.html 135 | Tue, 20 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 136 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/voices-17-toby-from-emery.html 137 | <p class="p1">We catch up with Toby Morrell from Emery and Matt &amp; Toby for the latest episode of Voices #17.</p> 138 | <p class="p1"></p> 139 | <p></p> 140 | <p class="p1">&nbsp;</p> 141 | <p class="p1"><strong>Temptations on the road:&nbsp;</strong>&nbsp;</p> 142 | <p class="p3">There are tons of temptations on the road but after talking with the other guys in the band, I think it&rsquo;s a cop out to say it&rsquo;s only on the road. I think every guy and girl goes through temptations regardless. It&rsquo;d be bad for me to go &ldquo;On the road, I just gotta be careful&rdquo;. I think it&rsquo;s more dangerous when I get home. I think there are always the temptations of sex, pornography, extra looks at females and that&rsquo;s just some instances. There&rsquo;s a temptation to drink too much or get too angry at my band mates or pissed off because I&rsquo;m missing my family so I think there&rsquo;s temptations regardless of being on the road or not. I try to keep it equal. I don&rsquo;t want to say that when I&rsquo;m on the road I&rsquo;m going to be really careful but when I&rsquo;m at home near my wife, it&rsquo;ll be easier. I just like to say it&rsquo;s dangerous as soon as I wake up, for me.&nbsp;</p> 143 | <p class="p1"><strong>Accountability:</strong></p> 144 | <p class="p3">Accountability for me looks like, honestly, it has just radically changed for me within the last three or four or five years. When I first got married, I hid porn from my wife, especially being on the road and I justified it because I was on the road. I was like &ldquo;I miss my wife so I&rsquo;m not going to cheat&rdquo;-there&rsquo;s no way I&rsquo;d cheat on her but knowing that that is cheating was just really rotten. The Lord just kept convicting me that it&rsquo;d well up so much that I&rsquo;d confess these things to her but I realized that it was mostly confession and not really repentance. Awhile back I told my wife a ton of stuff and gave a full confession. Its also scary because I love my wife more than any person on earth, I love my kids too but I love my wife so much and to tell her these things would feel like she felt like less of a person or less of a female and that&rsquo;s such a lie because she&rsquo;s such a strong person too so and if I hide these things they&rsquo;re just going to keep going so I&rsquo;m able to be honest and to be perfectly honest, this is the second day of the tour and I already had to be honest about taking an extra look at a movie I watched the other night and just kind of lingering on that. It&rsquo;s awesome because there&rsquo;s that shame that goes along with it but my wife and I have had such good conversations about it just being a tool of the enemy-that you would hide that shame and just live in it which is a whole other thing. Even if you don&rsquo;t look at pornography, you&rsquo;re still living in that shame which is still the sin because we&rsquo;re forgiven by Jesus which is this weird tool the enemy uses. I use it too, I&rsquo;m the one doing this as well. I don&rsquo;t want to just say &ldquo;Oh I&rsquo;m being attacked by the enemy. If he didn&rsquo;t attack me, I&rsquo;d be okay&rdquo;. One thing that has been helping me a lot is that regardless of what I&rsquo;m looking at, even if it&rsquo;s a second look at a girl, if it&rsquo;s a movie with a sex scene, I&rsquo;ve been trying to tell myself regardless that I am looking at porn. The sole point of that is sexual, its not just &ldquo;Oh it&rsquo;s a part of the movie&rdquo;, its porn. I feel like when I say &ldquo;That&rsquo;s just this&rdquo; and I put it in a category, its way easier to not be accountable to it. I had that conversation with my wife because I&rsquo;ll be flipping through some movies like &ldquo;Oh what&rsquo;s this? Okay&rdquo; then I&rsquo;d linger for a few minutes like &ldquo;What am I doing?&rdquo;&nbsp;</p> 145 | <p class="p1">The strangest thing happened. You get that voice of &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t worry, you&rsquo;re okay, don&rsquo;t tell anybody&rdquo; and I heard that voice even after telling my wife and band mates, we&rsquo;re accountable to each other as well. It was that voice and I thought &ldquo;That&rsquo;s not me. I&rsquo;m not going back&rdquo;. That&rsquo;s been my prayer for years of &ldquo;not going back, not going back. My identity is not going to be this, I&rsquo;m not going to be this way&rdquo;. I said that and thought that no matter what I&rsquo;m going to tell my wife tomorrow. She can take it even if it hurts her feelings, she&rsquo;s strong and she has weaknesses of her own. That night I slept on Matt&rsquo;s couch at his house. That night I had this dream where a bunch of different people including my wife and pastor and a bunch of people sitting at the end of the couch praying for me. I woke up like &ldquo;Whoa, that was intense&rdquo;. That&rsquo;s such a huge tool knowing that there are people praying for me. We need to have people praying for us and we need to be honest about it so they know to. I struggle, I&rsquo;m not going to hide this, I&rsquo;m a sinner. Jesus is the hero. He&rsquo;s the guy that&rsquo;s not going to let you down. Me, I&rsquo;m going to let you down. That&rsquo;s what&rsquo;s good about being honest is you don&rsquo;t have to live in the shame of &ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to let you down, I&rsquo;m not going to live in the shame of it, I&rsquo;m going to repent and not go back to it&rdquo;.&nbsp;</p> 146 | <p class="p1"><strong>Porn in music:</strong></p> 147 | <p class="p1">I would say, obviously with music videos sex sells. I think it&rsquo;s integrated in everything. It&rsquo;s almost like you can make any word sexual. I wonder what the statistics would be on making a &ldquo;That&rsquo;s What She Said&rdquo; joke on everything (laughs). It&rsquo;s the idea of it. We&rsquo;re always talking about it and it&rsquo;s always there, it&rsquo;s become this god in our lives. When people meet someone in a band or some cool person and they project this sexuality so that people will like them and it&rsquo;s sad because there&rsquo;s these beautiful people out there, inside and out, and they don&rsquo;t need sex to make them beautiful. It&rsquo;s a trick that sex is actually the good thing and they&rsquo;re not. It&rsquo;s actually the opposite. Sex is just the thing, they&rsquo;re the person, they&rsquo;re the heart and God loves them so much more for them. That&rsquo;s where I would see sexuality played out in the music industry for me. It&rsquo;s always there. Its &ldquo;Oh you&rsquo;re in a band, you hook up with chicks right?&rdquo; It&rsquo;s shocking. That&rsquo;s what sucks and it shouldn&rsquo;t be that way. We want fans for fans and people don&rsquo;t need that in order to make them acceptable.&nbsp;</p> 148 | <p class="p1"><strong>Advice to females:</strong></p> 149 | <p class="p3">I would just say my advice, you get what you pay for and take two cents of what I&rsquo;m saying but my advice is that if your identity is wrapped up in sex then the sex would have to become more and more and more to get you feeling like it&rsquo;s a drug. Eventually you&rsquo;ll be drained and you&rsquo;ll end up hating it. Your sexuality will end up being your identity and its all anyone will know you for and it&rsquo;ll be frustrating for a female because at that point she won&rsquo;t know what her identity is. Obviously, my prayer would be that everyone&rsquo;s identity would be in Christ because He is perfection, He is what we should try to attain and we&rsquo;re not going to. That&rsquo;s what&rsquo;s awesome is that His blood is shed and covers us. God sees Jesus when He sees us. When Jesus died on the cross He even took all hopelessness away so we even have hope. If that&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;re projecting, you&rsquo;re projecting a thing and not yourself. Its so much better to project yourself regardless of what anyone thinks because we have a God who made us, who loves us and you are special.It sounds so cheesy to say this sometimes, I don&rsquo;t like it either (laughs) but I want to lose weight, I have so much stuff I have to try and pull out of my identity that&rsquo;s not Jesus and that happens to everybody but the truth is you&rsquo;re a creature of God, He died for you and He loves you so much. He gave up all of heaven just to come hang with us. You don&rsquo;t have to go somewhere and be something just to hang with people. Hang with people like Jesus did. That&rsquo;s way better than projecting sexuality.&nbsp;</p> 150 | <p class="p1"><strong>Praying with fans:</strong></p> 151 | <p class="p3">Dudes come up and want to talk about theology or something I said or did not say on stage about God. There&rsquo;s times where they&rsquo;re just bashing me for not saying something about Jesus. I go &ldquo;Where&rsquo;s your heart? Are you being legalistic?&rdquo; Then sometimes I&rsquo;ll say &ldquo;Hey, do you look at porn?&rdquo; And they say &ldquo;I know it&rsquo;s wrong, I&rsquo;m really trying to work on it&rdquo;. What are we talking about here? How would you take such a strong stance on something and not come in humility? We need to all realize we&rsquo;re sinners and this is just a sin, it doesn&rsquo;t control us, it doesn&rsquo;t own us even though we think that way. To guys and people coming to these songs, I want them to be honest and be able to share these things in humility. Anybody who is struggling with a porn addiction, I would say no matter what, don&rsquo;t wait, tell somebody, tell anybody. It&rsquo;s like there&rsquo;s a house on fire and you just have to tell somebody before it goes up in flames. You just have to tell somebody. It sucks, it&rsquo;s so hard and it&rsquo;s not fun. There&rsquo;s probably a good chance you&rsquo;re going to do it again but you have to start somewhere, you have to tell somebody, you have to get it off you because ethere&rsquo;s this thing that lives with you. It&rsquo;s like the C.S. Lewis story <em>The Great Divorce</em> where there&rsquo;s this little lizard on your shoulder saying &ldquo;Its not this big of a deal&rdquo; then it just gets crushed. There was a time in my life where I thought &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll probably always look at porn&rdquo; but now I think God is redeeming me and changing me and that&rsquo;s the ultimate goal to have a redeemed body and a redeemed earth and group of people who are joyful and serving God. The big thing is just say it immediately. Don&rsquo;t think &ldquo;If I wait, its going to get better&rdquo;, it just won&rsquo;t happen.&nbsp;</p> 152 | 153 | 154 | Porn is Isolating 155 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-isolating.html 156 | Fri, 16 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 157 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-isolating.html 158 | <p>Everyone loves inviting their friends over and hanging out. Getting some popcorn on the go and drinks and sticking on a DVD of the latest blockbuster Porn movie while everyone spanks their monkey, right?...Right?</p> 159 | <p>Of course not.</p> 160 | <p>You just don&rsquo;t do this. In fact you may be reading this completely disgusted at the idea. But for some of you this is exactly what you do, just without the other people part&hellip;and hopefully the popcorn.</p> 161 | <p>Sure, maybe when you first discovered porn it was through a friend who showed you some images or some sites in his bedroom but now it&rsquo;s something you do in the privacy of your own room with your door firmly shut.</p> 162 | <p>That&rsquo;s because porn is isolating.</p> 163 | <p>Porn is not your friend. It takes you away from your friends, your family, the places and projects you were made to live for, the connections that were meant to change the world.</p> 164 | <p>To understand how porn disrupts the flow of our lives it helps to go back to the Garden of Eden and see how we are wired to live in community. God had created a world which he declared good then goes as far to say that it is not good for the man to be alone. Everything that He made was the way it was meant to be except this one thing.</p> 165 | <p>Adam and Eve is more than just about marriage. It&rsquo;s not even just about being in a romantic relationship. It is about humankind not being right unless we go on the journey together. About the flow of our very existence becoming clogged unless we have company. Simply put we need other people.</p> 166 | <p>God had created Adam and Eve to enjoy each other and to live in complete intimacy with Himself. By taking the fruit they destroyed that intimacy.</p> 167 | <p>This is what porn does to us. It takes what is beautiful and right, sex and distorts it so we hide from God and others. Just like Adam and Eve a shame that didn&rsquo;t exist before comes between God and us.</p> 168 | <p>The only way to reconnect is to come back round to the way it was supposed to be. To put our trust back in God and receive our worth, our confidence, our identity in the one that allows us to live in community with Him and others.</p> 169 | <p>This is why it is so important to tell someone if you struggle with porn. That&rsquo;s why it won&rsquo;t just go away. It will destroy your relationships if you let it. Alternatively, you can destroy its hold over you by living in relationships with others.</p> 170 | <p>Then you can wake up to the joy that is ours if we live with other people. The deep connections that result from living openly and honestly with others. The freedom to not hide in shame or guilt but with confidence and hope.</p> 171 | <p>Sex was not meant to be viewed online with your pants around your ankles.</p> 172 | <p>And you were not meant to live your life alone. We need to invite others into our lives in open and healthy relationships.</p> 173 | <p>Now someone put the popcorn on.</p> 174 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 175 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 176 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 177 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 178 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 179 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 180 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 181 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 182 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 183 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 184 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 185 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 186 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 187 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 188 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 189 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 190 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 191 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 192 | 193 | 194 | Porn is Counterfeit 195 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-counterfeit.html 196 | Thu, 15 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 197 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-counterfeit.html 198 | <p>When I get off of work, I&rsquo;m tired. I&rsquo;m also on a healthy food kick. If you mix these two together, you get fast food. When I&rsquo;m tired and stressed AND hungry, I look for instant gratification in the form of Wendy&rsquo;s or McDonald&rsquo;s--NOT the healthy food that my body needs. Interestingly similar, when I&rsquo;m tired and stressed, my willpower and strength tends to be very miniscule. And frankly, I&rsquo;m more prone to look at porn in this state.</p> 199 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 200 | <p><strong>Porn is instant. </strong>I usually wake up anywhere between 5:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., depending on the day. As a college student, my life is ALWAYS a rush. Busy, busy, busy 24/7/365. When I wake up, I&rsquo;m in a rush to get ready. I don&rsquo;t have the time to make a pot or even a cup of coffee. So, I usually drink a cup of instant coffee--quick, gets me awake and satisfied. Come lunch, I don&rsquo;t have the time to cook myself a hearty and healthy veggie burger with egg, so I opt for a McDouble. Again--quick, keeps me going, and hunger satisfied (yet, I&rsquo;m disappointed in myself for settling, which quickly fades away). Guys, I&rsquo;m fixing to get completely honest with you chaps. I don&rsquo;t have time for a &ldquo;romantic&rdquo; relationship (nor do I want to fork up the money right now). So, as in every other aspect in my life, I can easily opt for the instant gratification--all of the illusive benefits without the sacrifice (i.e. money, time, selflessness) of a relationship.</p> 201 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 202 | <p><strong>Porn is cheap. </strong>Occasionally (a.k.a. almost always) as a college student, your bank account is depressingly low. I could take 10 minutes out of my schedule, go to the grocery store, and buy salad for two bucks, or I could take 3-5 minutes out of my schedule, go to McDonald&rsquo;s, and buy two McDoubles for the same two bucks. Decisions, decisions. Like I mentioned before, I don&rsquo;t <em>really</em> want to (possibly) waste money on a girl that I might not spend the rest of my life with. However cheap or shallow that may sound, don&rsquo;t judge me. Societal &ldquo;manly&rdquo; reason tells me that if I&rsquo;m wanting to be cheap on a relationship, why not just surf the free sites on the web? It&rsquo;s 100 percent free--no commitment either--not a dime out of my wallet. What on earth could ever go wrong?</p> 203 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 204 | <p><strong>Porn is a counterfeit. </strong>I&rsquo;m not really likely to purchase a McDouble, but I don&rsquo;t want to spend eight bucks on a salad either. Aside from making a point, I usually opt to cook for myself. However, most fast food joints usually offer &ldquo;healthy&rdquo; alternatives to their mostly unhealthy menu. We can debate the validity of their claims, but, in general, I think we can agree that a fast food salad isn&rsquo;t as healthy as a homemade salad. They&rsquo;re alternatives to the real thing--a counterfeit. Do you see where I&rsquo;m going with this? Porn is a counterfeit to real thing--sex, a relationship, a partner. Typically, counterfeit isn&rsquo;t as good as the real thing either. I know my burgers are delicious and healthy. Also, just ask the government, counterfeit their money. It won&rsquo;t get you far either--it&rsquo;s not as good as the real thing.</p> 205 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 206 | 207 | 208 | Porn is Emotionally Stunting 209 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-emotionally-stunting.html 210 | Fri, 09 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 211 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-emotionally-stunting.html 212 | <p><strong style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">&ldquo;I would rather know pain than be numb&hellip;&rdquo;</strong></p> 213 | <p>I always knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt bad. But that&rsquo;s about all I felt. You see, what started out as my little secret &ndash; my little behind-doors whim &ndash; poured out into a whole lot more, and it molded me. It tugged at me. It clawed its way until I no longer could feel my own sorrow. I no longer could grasp my own deprivation&hellip;because my deprivation became me. But somewhere along the way I believed the lie that my emotions would overtake me and slap me along the face and straighten me out. Surely I&rsquo;d feel my pain and I would&hellip;well&hellip;change.</p> 214 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 215 | <p><strong>&ldquo;&hellip;but then again, we asked for the opiates to numb the pain for us.&rdquo;</strong></p> 216 | <p>Along the way, though, my emotions became thoughtlessly vague. I was numb, but it was my fault &ndash; I asked for it. I was foolish enough to let my illness numb the pain &ndash; the emotion that was my one true chance of escape. Again and again I tuned in to numb my convictions, my fears and my lack of faith. This pattern couldn&rsquo;t continue&hellip;and it didn&rsquo;t.</p> 217 | <p>The two lines above come from Levi The Poet&rsquo;s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkz-oez-KZQ">piece</a> &ldquo;Resentment.&rdquo; It&rsquo;s a grim picture, but it&rsquo;s not so foreign, is it? Pornography was my opiate and I was certainly numb to any pain, but what was really going on inside me was the draining of all my emotions. Pornography likes to lie to you and believe it can just live in your private life, but it begins to wear on you and oversee your emotions.</p> 218 | <p>Eventually, it was like I became an entirely different person. I was bitter. I snapped at anyone who challenged me. I was consumed with my needs and how I could benefit in any situation. Worse yet, relationships became more about pleasure and less about compassion and respect. But that&rsquo;s what I felt (though I wasn&rsquo;t feeling anything at all). I hurt so many people and there were times I felt bad, but I&rsquo;d oftentimes lay there at night and scream at God, &ldquo;Why am I not sick of this? Why am I so careless? God, why cannot I not just feel?&rdquo;</p> 219 | <p>But here&rsquo;s the reality that I found: I didn&rsquo;t <em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">lose </em>my emotions, my emotions were just stunted (hidden if you will). As I opened up and stopped putting on my Sunday best, I was able to be the person that God loves, broken or not. To sum it up: I began to feel. Trust me, it wasn&rsquo;t an overnight process, and it won&rsquo;t be for you. I&rsquo;m still learning what it means to build a relationship with a woman of Christ. But, I found what I thought was lost. It&rsquo;s not the road I would&rsquo;ve liked to go down, but it&rsquo;s the one that&rsquo;s brought me back to reality &ndash; back home to my emotions.</p> 220 | <p>So there you have it: short and sweet. Porn never stays private. It never stays behind closed doors. Don&rsquo;t let it numb your emotions, because you&rsquo;ll never get back those years that the locusts will take. Believe me, I know.</p> 221 | 222 | 223 | Porn Is My Release 224 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-my-release.html 225 | Wed, 07 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 226 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/porn-is-my-release.html 227 | <p align="center">When I was growing up my favorite t.v. show was called &ldquo;Arthur.&rdquo; It was an animated show on public television that centered on an aardvark named Arthur and his friends as they journeyed through the crazy jungle we know as 2nd and 3rd grade. One of the other main characters was (kind of) a girl named Francine. Francine was the super athletic, ultra-competitive tomboy that won at all costs. In one particular episode a friend bet Francine that she could not go a whole week being nice to everybody. Throughout the episode many opportunities arise to let her anger show and blow up at someone, but she constantly chooses to suppress and ignore it. Her friends begin to come concerned that the pressure building inside her will only lead to more pressure and eventually result in her blowing her cork. I&rsquo;m sure almost all of us have the seen the effect of shaking a can of pop until finally it blows. In life we need a release, and unfortunately too many of us find that fraudulent release in the form of pornography.</p> 228 | <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Life is packed to the brim with pressure of all kinds. Most days from the time the alarm goes off in the morning to the time we crawl back into bed. We deal with one stressful event after another. We deal with the pressure to get along and have a good image with the ones we live around, pressure to perform at work, to achieve in school and so on and so on. We usually do a good job of handling it ourselves, but every once in a while it&rsquo;s just too much for us to take and we need a release from it all. For 12 years of my life, that release was porn. Whether I had a bad day or a social situation didn&rsquo;t pan out, I always thought that computer screen would set me free.</p> 229 | <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The ironic thing about all of this is that porn delivers the exact opposite of what it promises! It promises a release, a stress reliever, dare I say even freedom. Yet ten minutes later we snap back to reality and realize that all of the pressure we were dealing with is still there, and now on top of that we&rsquo;re left feeling used, empty and useless.</p> 230 | <p><strong>Proverbs 3:5-6</strong><strong>- Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your path straight.</strong></p> 231 | <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I think we turn to porn as that release because it actually seems like the logical thing to do. We feel stressed and overwhelmed and we feel that porn will release us from that and help us carry the burden. The unfortunate thing is that that temporary release quickly transforms from a safe haven into never ending jail cell. The good news however, is that there&rsquo;s a hope and a love found only in Jesus that frees us from all the bondage and sets us free.</p> 232 | <p><strong>1 Peter 5:7</strong><strong>- Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.</strong></p> 233 | <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Jesus understands exactly how crazy and overwhelming life can be and that&rsquo;s part of why He ever came. As people we were never created to carry all of the junk that we tried to. Jesus said that His yolk is easy and His burden light, but we feel responsible for all of these little areas in our life, where in reality Jesus wants us to hand our crazy mess over to Him so He can carry it for us. Jesus is designed so that we as His children could find complete freedom and release IN HIM! The crazy thing is that He wants our mess, our problems and our stress.</p> 234 | <p><strong>Matthew 11:28</strong><strong>- Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.</strong></p> 235 | <p><strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </strong>So next time life gets crazy and you start to head to that computer or smart phone to find a little release from life, just remember that you have a God who wants to be that release and is waiting for you with arms open wide. Pornography releases parts of your heart from you, but Jesus releases the stress and pressure from your life. The choice is yours.</p> 236 | 237 | 238 | Pornography is Always Available 239 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/pornography-is-always-available.html 240 | Thu, 01 Aug 2013 07:00:00 -0400 241 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/pornography-is-always-available.html 242 | <p>It&rsquo;s no secret that snares and traps are everywhere; the magazine rack at the grocery store, Facebook, movie trailers and pretty much any Carl&rsquo;s Jr commercial. It&rsquo;s just impossible to get away from that fleshly temptation that could eventually lead to a late night under the covers dimly lit by the glow of your computer screen.</p> 243 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 244 | <p>I&rsquo;ve heard some people say that they&rsquo;ve simply given up because the spark to temptation is everywhere. Can you really think of a typical day in your life where you don&rsquo;t see some major cleavage, some smooth tan legs, a butt hanging out of shorts, or any other number of provocative images and that&rsquo;s probably all before you take your first morning coffee break. Yes, that spark is everywhere but that&rsquo;s no reason to call it quits on your sobriety. The key is to find a way to manage your eyes and how you take in those images and thoughts. You can&rsquo;t just shut yourself off to the world. It may be smarter to take a gander at the impulse buy candy rack rather than the magazines, although that could lead to a whole new problem.</p> 245 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 246 | <p>The availability of actual pornography has obviously increased immensely since the invention of the internet but along with that growth, came a shift in the type of person who consumed the product. No longer was it as taboo as it was in years past, no longer was it only dirty old men sneaking into X-Rated theaters and shops. Now, it was being beamed into every home in the world, just a few clicks and seconds away for anyone with an internet connection. This meant that no one was safe, and the even crazier part? It&rsquo;s totally easy to get hardcore photos and videos absolutely free. Once you&rsquo;ve wandered to the far corners of the interweb, consuming every sick and depraved image and video you can find, it boggles the mind to think of what you&rsquo;re missing out on by only opting to look at the free stuff. Frankly, I don&rsquo;t want to know what you&rsquo;re missing. It&rsquo;s a clich&eacute; that most youth learn about sex through their dad&rsquo;s or friend&rsquo;s Playboy Magazine but now, kids can satiate their curiosity in mere seconds all alone in their room while the parents are away. It&rsquo;s much more out in the open and much more secretive and personal all at once.</p> 247 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 248 | <p>Once again, I cannot stress the importance of accountability enough. Because there are those sparks seemingly everywhere, we have to train ourselves not only to make it a habit to not browse that particular section of magazines at the store or turn off that one commercial every time its on, but we have to really care about what we take into our minds and how that can slowly and strategically affect way more than we&rsquo;re aware of in that brief moment of enjoyment. That&rsquo;s how the enemy works; stealthily and with the long game in mind. As important as accountability is, you cannot trade one addiction for another. Set up accountability with a friend or a group of friends but lay out some guidelines. If you need to text someone every time you see a spark, go for it, but lay that out with the friend beforehand and make sure your buddy is up for the challenge. More often than not, I&rsquo;ve seen sobriety broken due to laziness on the friend&rsquo;s part. Make a commitment, make a change and I promise you that you&rsquo;ll see the benefits almost immediately. Your future spouse and your future self will thank you.</p> 249 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 250 | 251 | 252 | How Can I Be a Leader? 253 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-can-i-be-a-leader.html 254 | Fri, 26 Jul 2013 07:00:00 -0400 255 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-can-i-be-a-leader.html 256 | <p>That's a solid question. In various ways, it's a question I ask myself every day.</p> 257 | <p><em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I be a better husband?"</em></p> 258 | <p><em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I be a better provider?"</em></p> 259 | <p><em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I&nbsp;develop a plan for the future of my family?"</em></p> 260 | <p><em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I more effectively run my business / serve others / prioritize my wife / etc?"</em></p> 261 | <p>I think a lot of these questions, or the answers to them, stem from the answer to another:&nbsp;<em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I become a follower?"&nbsp;</em>Even better:&nbsp;<em style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.5em;">"How can I become a servant?"</em>&nbsp;</p> 262 | <p>So here's the thing: so much of what we strive for when we talk "leadership" in our culture is motivated by lust for power and the desire to be served, rather than to serve. As a Christian, though, my whole worldview revolves around a man who has proven to be the greatest leader in history, and he came lowly, he came humble, he came to serve, rather than be served. Now, does that mean that Christians shouldn't strive for positions of power? No way. It is a shame when people go too far in the direction of poverty - financially or socially or influentially - in the name of "holiness" because Jesus was born in a manger. Isn't Jesus also the one who sits at the right hand of the throne of God with a crown on his head, fire in his eyes, and a position of power reserved for him and him alone since eternity past? Isn't he the king who walks streets of gold?</p> 263 | <p>By the grace of God, there will always be Christian leaders who hold positions of great power and influence in their homes, churches, cities, cultures, states, countries. As Christians, though, we believe those positions are gifts, given for the purpose of service so that Jesus might be held in honor among onlookers who see him in our love. Whether you are a king serving a nation, or a husband serving a wife, the goal is leading in such a way that people are loved and Jesus is honored.&nbsp;</p> 264 | <p>Considering I'm not a king, though, I'll just recap a couple of things that I'm learning recently, as a husband:&nbsp;</p> 265 | <p>One, leading does not mean domineering over my wife. I do believe that the husband is the head of the home, and I do believe that I am, and you husbands are, either a good head or a bad head, but the responsibility of being the head is always ours. Let me just suggest that we make pretty crappy leaders when we decide that we know what is best, unequivocally, in the name of headship, without considering that we married a friend with a soul and a heart and a mind, not a dog that needs fingers snapped at it. Lately, I've been remembering my love for my friend, Brandi, and that love positions me to lead in kindness and humility rather than anger or tyranny.&nbsp;</p> 266 | <p>Two, leading means acting confidently and taking responsibility. I'll be the first to say that though I'm relatively willing to take responsibility, I've got a lot of growing to do on the confidence end. My pastor once told me that my wife will be more willing to follow me affectionately if I am willing to be a more confident decision-maker - even if my decisions end up being wrong. If I'm wrong, I have an opportunity for humility and repentance, but I shouldn't stay stuck in limbo, leaving my wife to think that she's committed herself to be led by a man whose spine is too frail to take responsibility for her well-being, and the well-being of the home and family. This is a truth held in creation. When Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, God came looking for Adam. He held the husband responsible. This is the essence of Jesus - the bridegroom - does for his bride - us. He so loved us that he bore the penalty for our sins by taking the responsibility of judgment upon himself.&nbsp;</p> 267 | <p>Three, leading means submitting. The husband may be the head of the household, but God is the head of the husband. The husband may be the head of the family, but he is not the head of the church. And I think that there is a submissive love that he has for his wife, as well. To lead well, we must be submissive to authority. We have to allow other people to speak into our lives. We have to be willing to receive counsel lest we become fools who harden themselves to any word of advice save their own. Proverbs calls this folly. Arrogance. Foolishness. I know that submission is a bad word in our culture, and I know that the majority of those who strive for leadership strive for power so that they no longer have to be submissive to anyone. What a dangerous place to be. I am so thankful for the leaders in my life that I have to submit to. Jesus submitted to the authority of the Father, and if God models submission, then I pray that we will follow.&nbsp;</p> 268 | <p>Fourth, and lastly for the time being, leading means serving. To give is more blessed than to receive. I love when Brandi is happy. I want to make her happy. I want her to flourish beneath my servant leadership so that she is overjoyed in our love and transformed more and more into the image and likeness of Christ. I want to get back to this. Leading even means serving people that will hurt you. Truly, who has the potential to hurt you more than your spouse? Is that not the reasoning behind so many a person's unwillingness to commit to anyone? I can't tell you that your marriage will be perfect, without infidelity, without pain. Jesus washed the feet of those who would betray him. He did not, and does not, lead or build his relationships with people based upon their perfection. Rather, he loves people and perfects them. He did not, and does not, commune with people on the contingency that they do not hurt him, rather, he communes with murderers and washes them clean of his own blood on their hands. Who has led us better than Christ? Who has served us better than Christ? To lead well is to love and serve well. &nbsp;</p> 269 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 270 | 271 | 272 | How Do I Tell A Friend I'm Looking at Porn 273 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-do-i-tell-a-friend-im-looking-at-porn.html 274 | Mon, 22 Jul 2013 07:00:00 -0400 275 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-do-i-tell-a-friend-im-looking-at-porn.html 276 | <p>Most people who struggle with porn are really excited about getting free. They are ready to not feel guilt or shame, they are ready to pursue Jesus and ready to throw their laptops to the trash so they can be pure.</p> 277 | <p>Some really great reasons to stop looking at porn.</p> 278 | <p>But when you tell them the first and most important step in achieving this their face usually drops. Because if you want to be free truly then you need to do this one thing. Here it is.</p> 279 | <p>You need to tell someone you are looking at porn.</p> 280 | <p>Great, Simple. Well thanks for reading. Let me know how you get on&hellip;</p> 281 | <p>Of course it&rsquo;s not that simple. It&rsquo;s actually one of the most terrifying things you can do. But unfortunately it&rsquo;s essential.</p> 282 | <p>So how do you go about doing this?</p> 283 | <p>Well the first part is finding someone to tell. This is easier than it seems because most of the reasons we have to not tell certain people are just excuses we use to try and legitimize our decision to not be honest.</p> 284 | <p>So that person that you think would be good, who knows you already pretty well and who you trust, is probably the right person. Some people who don&rsquo;t count are your pet dog, some randomner on the bus or your reflection in the mirror. Practice on them sure (not the randomer though, the police may be called) but find that person and tell them. Pray about it, think about it but don&rsquo;t spend too much time doing this because you&rsquo;re probably just putting it off.</p> 285 | <p>If you are a guy, I would suggest another guy. The same if you are a girl. It could be your youth pastor, it could a mentor or a parent. The important thing is that it is someone who will not flake out on you and will be committed to you.</p> 286 | <p>Well OK but what if I genuinely don&rsquo;t have anyone I can trust? Well that&rsquo;s why we&rsquo;re here. Get connected to an X3group. Join with others guys who can help you and who will understand. But use this alongside someone you know personally and who will hang around when it gets tough.</p> 287 | <p>Now to the nitty gritty. What words should you use? Can you tell them without actually telling them? Can you use charades? Probably not a good idea.</p> 288 | <p>The first time I told someone I had a porn problem I didn&rsquo;t have the courage to tell them face to face so I sent them an email. If this is what it takes then do it but the times that I have told people face to face have been the most rewarding.</p> 289 | <p>Really there are no right or wrong words. The thing most of us who want to be open with someone else are afraid of, is the rejection, having to look them in the eye and see disappointment and sadness and maybe even disgust. At least that is what we tell ourselves they will feel. In reality if you have thought of someone who you trust, who you know will be there for you then honestly the above scenario will probably not happen. Most people will be so honoured and maybe even flattered that you have been honest about your problem that they will be excited to help you. So when this happens the words aren&rsquo;t crucial. Be honest. Tell them that you struggle with looking at porn. Maybe tell them the last time you looked. The important thing is to talk.</p> 290 | <p>Then breathe a huge sigh of relief, because you have done it. You have taken one of the most difficult steps in getting over porn.</p> 291 | <p>Now no feelings of shame or guilt can be held over you because you have revealed something of yourself that no one else knows, and yet here you are, still alive and still loved.</p> 292 | <p>Which means the next time will be easier and overtime you will build a relationship where you can be honest about how you are doing, in the full knowledge that you are loved by God and your friend.</p> 293 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 294 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 295 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 296 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 297 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 298 | <p>&nbsp;</p> 299 | 300 | 301 | What's Up (in the Media) 07.17.13 302 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/whats-up-in-the-media-071713.html 303 | Wed, 17 Jul 2013 07:00:00 -0400 304 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/whats-up-in-the-media-071713.html 305 | <p>OK&hellip;</p> 306 | <p>Typically, I try and mention about five different things that are going on within the media on a weekly basis. However, after following the story on the gone-too-soon actor Cory Monteith, I am led to use this opportunity to send out a bit of a heads up for us all.</p> 307 | <p>Although I have only watched about one half of an episode of <em>Glee</em>, I must say that ever since the announcement of Cory&rsquo;s death, I had been following it a bit. What a young man (31). What a handsome man. And from all of the stories that I had read, he was definitely a young man who was fighting his own demons (shoot, aren&rsquo;t we all?-Ephesians 6:10-20).</p> 308 | <p>Yet, what caught my attention the most was how there were so many reports of how happy he had appeared to be ever since he recently got out of (substance abuse) rehab; how happy he even seemed the night before he was found in his hotel room only for his toxicology report to say (according to <a href="http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20717425_20717941,00.html" target="_blank">People</a> magazine:</p> 309 | <p>"&rsquo;At this point there is no evidence to suggest Mr. Monteith's death was anything other than a most-tragic accident,&rsquo; the BC Coroners Service says in a statement released Tuesday.</p> 310 | <p>Police spokesman Constable Brian Montague said, &lsquo;There was evidence in the room that was consistent with a drug overdose.&rsquo;&rdquo; (Heroin and alcohol, to be exact.)</p> 311 | <p>As a woman who will be seven years (God willing-LOL) abstinent (of sex) in January, I couldn&rsquo;t help but to think about my own brand of sobriety. I also couldn&rsquo;t help but to think about the blaring warning found in Matthew 12:43-46(NKJV):</p> 312 | <p><em>&ldquo;When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, &lsquo;I will return to my house from which I came.&rsquo; And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation.&rdquo;</em></p> 313 | <p>No matter what our struggle or stronghold may be, sobriety is not something that we can afford to &ldquo;take a vacation from&rdquo;, even if it&rsquo;s just every once in a while. Not because God won&rsquo;t love us if we do (Jeremiah 31:3). Not because he is not faithful to forgive us every time we make our confessions known (I John 1:9-10). But because steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) and seeking to devour (I Peter 5:8) is the name of Satan&rsquo;s game.</p> 314 | <p>You see, what Cory&rsquo;s story taught me is that you can be doing great for weeks&hellip;months&hellip;years even and that &ldquo;one time&rdquo; that you think you can handle could be the main one that takes you out. It&rsquo;s simply not a gamble worth taking. As Ecclesiastes 7:17 says &ldquo;Why be foolish? Why die before your time?&rdquo; Sometimes the death is not the loss of life, but the loss of a relationship or a job or a sense of self. It&rsquo;s simply not worth it.</p> 315 | <p>It&rsquo;s such a tragedy to read about Cory&rsquo;s ending. At least on this side of heaven. But at least from where I sit, he did not die in vain. I took it as my own &ldquo;Be careful, Shellie&rdquo; message and I&rsquo;m praying that I&rsquo;ll take heed.</p> 316 | <p>Drugs. Alcohol. Porn. Sex. Money. Food. Shopping. You name it.</p> 317 | <p>Sometimes going back just once. Can cost you. Dearly.</p> 318 | 319 | 320 | How to Stop Masturbating 321 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-to-stop-masturbating.html 322 | Tue, 16 Jul 2013 07:00:00 -0400 323 | http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/how-to-stop-masturbating.html 324 | <p>Well, it&rsquo;s simple. Every time you do the deed, God destroys an innocent fluffy kitten.</p> 325 | <p>This has been a running joke for some time but when it really comes down to stopping a habit that many of us formed at such a young age, and have continued to indulge in for years and years and years, the task of stopping can seem virtually impossible. More than likely, spanking the monkey might just be part of your nightly routine but like any addiction or habit, it takes time. It&rsquo;s been said that it takes 15 days to successfully make or break a habit. In my experience, this is accurate. Whether it&rsquo;s jerkin&rsquo; the gherkin, smoking or eating too many cookies, habits take time. Change up your routine, don&rsquo;t follow the same pattern every day. In time, you won&rsquo;t even think about cookies, cigarettes or gherkins.&nbsp;</p> 326 | <p>&ldquo;But slapping the ham helps me sleep!&rdquo; That&rsquo;s true. You know what else helps you sleep and doesn&rsquo;t make you feel like garbage? Reading a book, drinking warm milk, exercising enough during the day that you&rsquo;re actually tired when your head hits the pillow are all guilt-free ways to help you catch some Z&rsquo;s. None of these activities will steal hours from your night and none of them will make you wake up with that &ldquo;Oh crap. I did it again&rdquo; feeling.</p> 327 | <p>&ldquo;But flicking the pork steeple relieves my stress!&rdquo; That&rsquo;s true. The feeling is temporary though. When the initial joy subsides, you&rsquo;ll be left with the guilt that accompanies the act. You know what else can relieve stress? Again, exercise! How about taking time to unwind rather than going straight from work to bed? This can be an issue for those of us who work from home. You have to plan for relaxation before hitting the hay. Watch TV, garden, bake, clean, write-there are a million things you could do to relax other than running straight to masturbating.</p> 328 | <p>I actually had a friend tell me once that when he got erections while laying in bed, he&rsquo;d pray &ldquo;Boner, be gone!&rdquo; And the erection would subside. Strange, but try it! I don&rsquo;t believe that God will abandon you when you&rsquo;re feeling tempted and you sincerely ask for His help. I also believe that God puts people in our lives (accountabilibuddies) who we need to feel comfortable calling up and asking for prayer in those times. Another friend of mine would call up his buddies any time of night when he was feeling tempted and they would collectively pray out loud on speaker phone for the spirits and temptations in his room to leave. It worked every time.</p> 329 | <p>There&rsquo;s a million facets associated with wacking the snake. &ldquo;But what if I can do it without lusting?&rdquo; Well, I don&rsquo;t really believe that&rsquo;s possible but that&rsquo;s for another time. For now, my hope is that you focus on putting a stop to the habit. Trust me, you&rsquo;ll find it nothing but extremely beneficial once you&rsquo;ve kicked the addiction, because let&rsquo;s face it, it is an addiction, and it comes with so many other pitfalls. It&rsquo;s not an easy task but the reward is far greater than any secret jacking off session you&rsquo;ll ever have. Your wives will thank you.&nbsp;</p> 330 | 331 | 332 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------