├── 0. Reading Files.ipynb ├── 1. Tokenizing, Stemming, POS.ipynb ├── 2. WordClouds.ipynb ├── 3. TF-IDF, Clustering, Pattern.ipynb ├── 4. Naive Bayes Classification.ipynb ├── 5. Naive Bayes in Scikit-Learn.ipynb ├── Installation.md ├── Intro NLP Links.md ├── README.md ├── data ├── books │ ├── anderson.txt │ ├── grimms.txt │ ├── irishfairy.txt │ ├── lovecraft.txt │ ├── mrjames.txt │ └── poe.txt ├── csv │ ├── books_tfidf.tsv │ ├── fairy.tsv │ ├── fiftyshades_labeled.txt │ ├── fiftyshades_scored_text.txt │ └── simple_tfidf.tsv ├── fiftyshades │ ├── no │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_0 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_1 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_10 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_100 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_101 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_102 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_103 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_104 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_105 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_106 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_11 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_115 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_116 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_117 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_118 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_119 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_12 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_120 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_121 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_122 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_124 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_125 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_126 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_127 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_128 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_129 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_13 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_130 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_131 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_132 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_133 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_134 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_135 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_136 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_137 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_138 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_139 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_14 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_140 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_141 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_142 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_143 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_144 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_145 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_146 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_15 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_152 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_153 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_154 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_155 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_156 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_157 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_158 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_159 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_16 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_160 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_161 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_162 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_163 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_164 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_165 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_166 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_167 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_168 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_169 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_17 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_171 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_172 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_173 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_174 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_176 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_177 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_178 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_179 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_18 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_180 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_181 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_182 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_183 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_184 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_185 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_186 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_187 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_188 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_189 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_19 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_190 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_191 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_192 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_197 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_2 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_20 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_204 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_205 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_21 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_210 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_211 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_212 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_213 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_214 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_215 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_216 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_219 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_22 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_220 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_221 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_222 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_223 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_224 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_225 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_226 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_227 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_228 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_229 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_23 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_230 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_231 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_232 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_233 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_234 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_235 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_236 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_239 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_24 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_242 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_247 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_248 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_249 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_25 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_250 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_251 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_252 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_253 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_254 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_255 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_256 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_257 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_258 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_26 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_260 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_263 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_264 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_265 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_266 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_267 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_268 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_269 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_27 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_270 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_271 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_276 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_277 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_28 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_281 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_282 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_284 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_285 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_286 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_287 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_288 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_289 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_29 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_290 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_291 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_292 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_293 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_294 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_295 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_296 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_297 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_298 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_299 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_3 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_30 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_300 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_301 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_302 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_303 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_304 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_305 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_306 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_307 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_308 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_309 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_31 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_310 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_311 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_312 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_313 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_314 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_319 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_32 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_320 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_321 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_322 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_323 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_326 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_327 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_329 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_33 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_330 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_331 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_332 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_333 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_334 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_335 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_336 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_337 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_339 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_34 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_340 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_341 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_342 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_343 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_344 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_345 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_346 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_347 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_348 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_349 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_35 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_350 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_351 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_356 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_357 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_36 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_365 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_366 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_368 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_369 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_37 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_370 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_371 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_374 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_375 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_376 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_377 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_378 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_379 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_38 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_380 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_381 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_39 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_4 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_40 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_41 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_42 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_43 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_44 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_45 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_46 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_47 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_48 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_49 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_5 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_50 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_51 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_52 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_53 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_54 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_56 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_57 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_58 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_59 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_6 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_60 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_63 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_64 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_65 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_66 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_67 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_68 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_69 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_7 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_70 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_71 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_72 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_73 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_74 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_75 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_76 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_77 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_78 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_79 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_8 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_80 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_81 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_82 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_83 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_84 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_85 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_86 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_9 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_97 │ │ ├── no_fifty_500_98 │ │ └── no_fifty_500_99 │ └── yes │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_107 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_108 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_109 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_110 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_111 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_112 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_113 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_114 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_123 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_147 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_148 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_149 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_150 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_151 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_170 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_175 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_193 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_194 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_195 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_196 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_198 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_199 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_200 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_201 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_202 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_203 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_206 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_207 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_208 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_209 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_217 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_218 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_237 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_238 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_240 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_241 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_243 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_244 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_245 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_246 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_259 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_261 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_262 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_272 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_273 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_274 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_275 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_278 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_279 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_280 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_283 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_315 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_316 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_317 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_318 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_324 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_325 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_328 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_338 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_352 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_353 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_354 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_355 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_358 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_359 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_360 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_361 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_362 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_363 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_364 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_367 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_372 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_373 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_55 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_61 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_62 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_87 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_88 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_89 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_90 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_91 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_92 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_93 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_94 │ │ ├── yes_fifty_500_95 │ │ └── yes_fifty_500_96 └── stories │ ├── .DS_Store │ ├── A_THE BELL.txt │ ├── A_THE DREAM OF LITTLE TUK.txt │ ├── A_THE ELDERBUSH.txt │ ├── A_THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES.txt │ ├── A_THE FALSE COLLAR.txt │ ├── A_THE FIR TREE.txt │ ├── A_THE HAPPY FAMILY.txt │ ├── A_THE LEAP-FROG.txt │ ├── A_THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL.txt │ ├── A_THE NAUGHTY BOY.txt │ ├── A_THE OLD HOUSE.txt │ ├── A_THE REAL PRINCESS.txt │ ├── A_THE RED SHOES.txt │ ├── A_THE SHADOW.txt │ ├── A_THE SHOES OF FORTUNE.txt │ ├── A_THE SNOW QUEEN.txt │ ├── A_THE STORY OF A MOTHER.txt │ ├── A_THE SWINEHERD.txt │ ├── G_BEARSKIN.txt │ ├── G_BRIAR ROSE.txt │ ├── G_CATHERINE AND FREDERICK.txt │ ├── G_CINDERELLA.txt │ ├── G_DUMMLING AND THE THREE FEATHERS.txt │ ├── G_FAITHFUL JOHN.txt │ ├── G_HANSEL AND GRETHEL.txt │ ├── G_LITTLE ONE-EYE, TWO-EYES AND THREE-EYES.txt │ ├── G_LITTLE RED-CAP.txt │ ├── G_LITTLE SNOW-WHITE.txt │ ├── G_MOTHER HOLLE.txt │ ├── G_OH, IF I COULD BUT SHIVER!.txt │ ├── G_RAPUNZEL.txt │ ├── G_RUMPELSTILTSKIN.txt │ ├── G_SNOW-WHITE AND ROSE-RED.txt │ ├── G_THE FROG PRINCE.txt │ ├── G_THE GOLDEN GOOSE.txt │ ├── G_THE GOOSE-GIRL.txt │ ├── G_THE LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER.txt │ ├── G_THE SIX SWANS.txt │ ├── G_THE THREE LITTLE MEN IN THE WOOD.txt │ ├── G_THE TRAVELS OF TOM THUMB.txt │ ├── G_THE VALIANT LITTLE TAILOR.txt │ ├── G_THE WATER OF LIFE.txt │ └── G_THUMBLING.txt ├── images ├── TreebankPOSTags.png ├── bayes_theorem.png ├── cosine_similarity.png ├── doc_freq.png ├── econ_fifty_book1.png ├── english_bayes.png ├── euclidean.png ├── nltk_downloader.png ├── sex_scenes_hierarchical.png └── supervised_classification_perkins.png └── utils ├── booksNodeTfIdf.js └── stripgutenberg.pl /Installation.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | Installing Python and Libraries: 2 | ------- 3 | 4 | Download miniconda for Python 2.7 from here: 5 | [http://conda.pydata.org/miniconda.html][1] 6 | 7 | To install it on a Mac, you need to open a terminal window and find it in your downloads file. Then type: 8 | 9 | >sh Miniconda-3.6.0-MacOSX-x86_64.sh 10 | 11 | Accept the defaults. Open a new terminal window afterwards. 12 | 13 | Then from the command line in the new window: 14 | 15 | >conda create -n NLP ipython-notebook cython scipy matplotlib scikit-learn numpy nltk pip 16 | [accept the defaults] 17 | >source activate NLP 18 | >pip install pattern 19 | >pip install Image 20 | >pip install git+git://github.com/amueller/word_cloud.git 21 | 22 | You should see a prompt that shows the name of your new virtual environment (venv) maybe followed by a path or name (where I show "prompt"): 23 | 24 | >(NLP) prompt$ 25 | 26 | Now you want to get some files from nltk for the demos - start python and do this in the shell: 27 | 28 | >(NLP)prompt$ python 29 | >> import nltk 30 | >> nltk.download() 31 | 32 | An interactive GUI should pop up. Get the book files from the first tab. After that, you can close the GUI and exit python. 33 | 34 | Check it all worked by starting the notebook server from the directory with all the .ipynb files (top level of this repo): 35 | 36 | >(NLP)prompt$ ipython notebook 37 | 38 | You should see the notebook server start up and open a web page with a list of directories. (You can shut down the notebook server by typing Control-C in the window where you started it.) 39 | 40 | To get out of the venv again, you just type: 41 | 42 | >(NLP)prompt$ source deactivate 43 | 44 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # NLP-in-Python 2 | 3 | ### Lynn Cherny, @arnicas / arnicas@gmail 4 | 5 | Intro to some NLP concepts and libraries in Python for a class at CMU, 6 | Feb 2015. 7 | 8 | Lots of libraries are required - see [here](Installation.md) for install info. 9 | 10 | Notebook viewer links: 11 | 12 | [0. Reading in Files](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/0.%20Reading%20Files.ipynb): How I made the data files, mostly Gutenberg operations. Add your own URLs! 13 | 14 | [1. Tokenizing, Stemming, POS](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/1.%20Tokenizing%2C%20Stemming%2C%20POS.ipynb) - the very basics. POS is "parts of speech" not "piece of %#@t". 15 | 16 | [2. Wordclouds](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/2.%20WordClouds.ipynb) - entirely optional, but shows off interactive widgets to live-filter stopwords for visual effect 17 | 18 | [3. TF-IDF, Clustering, Pattern](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/3.%20TF-IDF%2C%20Clustering%2C%20Pattern.ipynb) - getting to the meat! Hierarchical clustering here too. 19 | 20 | Bonus: Doing some TF-IDF NLP in node's package "natural" (but caveats apply): [see here](utils/booksNodeTfIdf.js) 21 | 22 | [4. Naive Bayes Classification](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/4.%20Naive%20Bayes%20Classification.ipynb) - the infamous **50 Shades Sex Scene Detection** because spam is boring 23 | 24 | [5. Naive Bayes in Scikit-Learn](http://nbviewer.ipython.org/github/arnicas/NLP-in-Python/blob/master/5.%20Naive%20Bayes%20in%20Scikit-Learn.ipynb) - very quick intro to the main ML package in Python, for comparison purposes; same sex scene data. 25 | 26 | **There are some links to libraries and books in the [Intro NLP Links.md](Intro NLP Links.md)** 27 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/csv/simple_tfidf.tsv: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | animal cat elephant grey lion manes slurf stripes tiger yellow m#name c#type 2 | 0 0.1733 0 0 0 0 0 0.3466 0.3466 0.1733 tiger 3 | 0 0.1733 0 0 0.3466 0.3466 0 0 0 0.1733 lion 4 | 0.1733 0 0.1733 0.3466 0 0 0.3466 0 0 0 elephant 5 | 0.3466 0 0.3466 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 elephant -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_10: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* he says quietly. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Is he offering me a job ? * Oh. I * ll bear that in mind , * I murmur , confounded. * Though I * m not sure I * d fit in here. * Oh no. I * m musing out loud again . * Why do you say that ? * He tilts his head to one side , intrigued , a hint of a smile playing on his lips . * It * s obvious , isn * t it ? * I * m uncoordinated , scruffy , and I * m not blonde . * Not to me. * His gaze is intense , all humor gone , and strange muscles deep in my belly clench suddenly. I tear my eyes away from his scrutiny and stare blindly down at my knotted fingers. What * s going on ? I have to go * now. I lean forward to retrieve the recorder . * Would you like me to show you around ? * he asks . * I * m sure you * re far too busy , Mr. Grey , and I do have a long drive. * * You * re driving back to Vancouver ? * He sounds surprised , anxious even. He glances out of the window. It * s begun to rain. * Well , you * d better drive carefully. * His tone is stern , authoritative. Why should he care ? * Did you get everything you need ? * he adds . * Yes , sir , * I reply , packing the recorder into my backpack. His eyes narrow , speculatively . * Thank you for the interview , Mr. Grey. * * The pleasure * s been all mine , * he says , polite as ever . As I rise , he stands and holds out his hand . * Until we meet again , Miss Steele. * And it sounds like a challenge , or a threat , I * m not sure which. I frown. When will we ever meet again ? I shake his hand once more , astounded that that odd current between us is still there. It must be my nerves . * Mr. Grey. * I nod at him. Moving with lithe athletic grace to the door , he opens it wide . * Just ensuring you make it through the door , Miss Steele. * He gives me a small smile. Obviously , he * s referring to my earlier less-than-elegant entry into his office. I blush . * That * s very considerate , Mr. Grey , * I snap , and his smile widens. I * m glad you find me entertaining , I glower inwardly , walking into the foyer. I * m surprised when he follows me out. Andrea and Olivia both look up , equally surprised . * Did you" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_104: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* * I * m really not hungry , * I whisper . His eyes narrow. * I would really like you to finish your breakfast. * * What is it with you and food ? * I blurt out. His brow knits . * I told you , I have issues with wasted food. Eat , * he snaps. His eyes are dark , pained . Holy crap. What is that all about ? I pick up my fork and eat slowly , trying to chew. I must remember not to put so much on my plate if he * s going to be weird about food. His expression softens as I carefully make my way through my breakfast. I note that he cleans his plate. He waits for me to finish , and then he clears my plate . * You cooked , I * ll clear. * * That * s very democratic. * * Yes. * He frowns. * Not my usual style. After I * ve done this , we * ll take a bath. * * Oh , okay. * Oh my * I * d much rather have a shower. My cell rings , interrupting my reverie. It * s Kate . * Hi. * I wander over to the glass doors of the balcony , away from him . * Ana , why didn * t you text last night ? * She * s angry . * I * m sorry , I was overtaken by events. * * You * re okay ? * * Yes , I * m fine. * * Did you ? * She * s fishing for information. I roll my eyes at the expectation in her voice . * Kate , I don * t want to talk over the phone. * Christian glances up at me . * You did * I can tell. * How can she tell ? She * s bluffing , and I can * t talk about this. I * ve signed a damned agreement . * Kate , please. * * What was it like ? Are you okay ? * * I * ve told you I * m okay. * * Was he gentle ? * * Kate , please ! * I can * t hide my exasperation . * Ana , don * t hold out on me , I * ve been waiting for this day for nearly four years. * * I * ll see you this evening. * I hang up . That is going to be one difficult square to circle. She * s so tenacious , and she wants to know * in detail , and I can * t tell her because I * ve signed a * what was it called ? NDA. She * ll freak and rightly so. I need a plan. I head back to watch Christian move gracefully around his kitchen ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_106: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", my arms wrapped around myself. I step forward while surreptitiously admiring his physique. I take his hand , and he bids me to step into the bath while I am still wearing his shirt. I do as I * m told. I * ll have to get used to it if I * m going to take him up on his outrageous offer * if ! The water is enticingly hot . * Turn around , face me , * he orders , his voice soft. I do as I * m told. He * s watching me intently . * I know that lip is delicious , I can attest to that , but will you stop biting it ? * he says through clenched teeth. * Your chewing it makes me want to fuck you , and you * re sore , okay ? * I gasp , automatically unlocking my lip , shocked . * Yeah , * he challenges. * Get the picture ? * He glares at me. I nod frantically. I had no idea I could affect him so . * Good. * He reaches forward and takes my iPod out of the breast pocket , and he puts it by the sink . * Water and iPods * not a clever combination , * he mutters. He reaches down , grasps the hem of my white shirt , lifts it above my head , and discards it on the floor . He stands back to gaze at me. I * m naked for heaven * s sake. I flush crimson and stare down at my hands , level with the base of my belly , and I desperately want to disappear into the hot water and foam , but I know he won * t want that . * Hey , * he summons me. I peek up at him , and his head is cocked to one side. * Anastasia , you * re a very beautiful woman , the whole package. Don * t hang your head like you * re ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of , and it * s a real joy to stand here and gaze at you. * He takes my chin in his hand and tilts my head up to reach his eyes. They are soft and warm , heated even. He * s so close. I could just reach up and touch him . * You can sit down now. * He halts my scattered thoughts , and I scoot down into the warm , welcoming water. Ooh * it stings and that takes me by surprise , but it smells heavenly , too. The initial smarting pain soon ebbs away. I lie back and briefly close my eyes , relaxing in the soothing warmth. When I open them , he is gazing down at me . * Why don * t you join me ? * I ask , bravely" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_117: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "crap , it * s Jos * . He sounds desperate. * Where are you ? I * ve been trying to contact you. I need to see you , to apologize for my behavior on Friday. Why haven * t you returned my calls ? * * Look , Jos * , now * s not a good time. * I glance anxiously over at Christian , who * s watching me intently , his face impassive as he murmurs something to his mom. I turn my back to him . * Where are you ? Kate is being so evasive , * he whines . * I * m in Seattle. * * What are you doing in Seattle ? Are you with him ? * * Jos * , I * ll call you later. I can * t talk to you now. * I hang up . I walk nonchalantly back to Christian and his mother. Grace is in full flow . * * and Elliot called to say you were around * I haven * t seen you for two weeks , darling. * * Did he now ? * Christian murmurs , gazing at me , his expression unreadable . * I thought we might have lunch together , but I can see you have other plans , and I don * t want to interrupt your day. * She gathers up her long cream coat and turns to him , offering him her cheek. He kisses her briefly , sweetly. She doesn * t touch him . * I have to drive Anastasia back to Portland. * * Of course , darling. Anastasia , it * s been such a pleasure. I do hope we meet again. * She holds her hand out to me , her eyes glowing , and we shake . Taylor appears from * where ? * Mrs. Grey ? * he asks . * Thank you , Taylor. * He escorts her from the room and through the double doors to the foyer. Taylor was here the whole time ? How long has he been here ? Where has he been ? Christian glares at me . * So the photographer called ? * Crap . * Yes. * * What did he want ? * * Just to apologize , you know * for Friday. * Christian narrows his eyes . * I see , * he says simply . Taylor reappears . * Mr. Grey , there * s an issue with the Darfur shipment. * Christian nods curtly at him . * Charlie Tango back at Boeing Field ? * * Yes , sir. * Taylor nods at me . * Miss Steele. * I smile tentatively back at him , and he turns and leaves . * Does he live here ? Taylor ? * * Yes. * His tone is clipped. What is his problem ? Christian heads over to the kitchen and" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_118: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "picks up his BlackBerry , scrolling through some e-mails , I assume. His mouth presses in a hard line , and he makes a call . * Ros , what * s the issue ? * he snaps. He listens , watching me , eyes speculative , as I stand in the middle of the huge room wondering what to do with myself , feeling extraordinarily self-conscious and out of place . * I * m not having either crew put at risk. No , cancel * We * ll air-drop instead * Good. * He hangs up. The warmth in his eyes has disappeared. He looks forbidding , and with one quick glance at me , he heads into his study and returns a moment later . * This is the contract. Read it , and we * ll discuss it next weekend. May I suggest you do some research , so you know what * s involved. * He pauses. * That * s if you agree , and I really hope you do , * he adds , his tone softer , anxious . * Research ? * * You * ll be amazed what you can find on the Internet , * he murmurs . Internet ! I don * t have access to a computer , only Kate * s laptop , and I couldn * t use the one at Clayton * s , not for this sort of * research * surely . * What is it ? * he asks , cocking his head to one side . * I don * t have a computer. I usually use the computers at school. I * ll see if I can use Kate * s laptop. * He hands me a manila envelope . * I * m sure I can * er , lend you one. Get your things , we * ll drive back to Portland and grab some lunch on the way. I need to dress. * * I * ll just make a call , * I murmur. I just want to hear Kate * s voice. He frowns . * The photographer ? * His jaw clenches and his eyes burn. I blink at him. * I don * t like to share , Miss Steele. Remember that. * His quiet , chilling tone is a warning , and with one long , cold look at me , he heads back to the bedroom . Holy crap. I just wanted to call Kate , I want to call after him , but his sudden aloofness has left me paralyzed. What happened to the generous , relaxed , smiling man who was making love to me not half an hour ago ? * READY ? * CHRISTIAN ASKS AS we stand by the double doors to the foyer . I nod uncertainly. He * s resumed his distant , polite , uptight persona , his mask back up and" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_120: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "his eyes at me . * Talk to her if you must. * He sounds exasperated. * Make sure she doesn * t mention anything to Elliot. * I bristle at his insinuation. Kate isn * t like that . * She wouldn * t do that , and I wouldn * t tell you anything she tells me about Elliot * if she were to tell me anything , * I add quickly . * Well , the difference is that I don * t want to know about his sex life , * Christian murmurs dryly. * Elliot * s a nosy bastard. But only about what we * ve done so far , * he warns. * She * d probably have my balls if she knew what I wanted to do to you , * he adds so softly I * m not sure I * m supposed to hear it . * Okay , * I agree readily , smiling up at him , relieved. The thought of Kate with Christian * s balls is not something I want to dwell on . His lip quirks up at me , and he shakes his head . * The sooner I have your submission the better , and we can stop all this , * he murmurs . * Stop all what ? * * You , defying me. * He reaches down and cups my chin and plants a swift , sweet kiss on my lips as the doors to the elevator open. He grabs my hand and leads me into the underground garage . Me , defying him * how ? Beside the elevator , I can see the black 4x4 Audi , but it * s the sleek black sporty number that blips open and lights up when he points the key fob at it. It * s one of those cars that should have a very leggy blonde , wearing nothing but a sash , sprawled across the hood . * Nice car , * I murmur dryly . He glances up and grins . * I know , * he says , and for a split second sweet , young , carefree Christian is back. It warms my heart. He * s so excited. Boys and their toys. I roll my eyes at him but can * t stifle my smile. He opens the door for me and I climb in. Whoa * it * s low. He moves around the car with easy grace , and folds his long frame elegantly in beside me. How does he do that ? * So what sort of car is this ? * * It * s an Audi R8 Spyder. It * s a lovely day ; we can take the top down. There * s a baseball cap in there. In fact there should be two. * He points to the glove box. * And sunglasses if you want them. *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_124: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "presence. He * s so overwhelming , so alpha male , and now he * s thrown this bombshell into the equation. He knows what it * s like . * But it can * t have been full time ? * I * m confused . * Well , it was , though I didn * t see her all the time. It was * difficult. After all , I was still at school and then at college. Eat up , Anastasia. * * I * m really not hungry , Christian. * I am reeling from your disclosure . His expression hardens. * Eat , * he says quietly , too quietly . I stare at him. This man * sexually abused as an adolescent * his tone is so threatening . * Give me a moment , * I mutter quietly. He blinks a couple of times . * Okay , * he murmurs , and he continues with his meal . This is what it will be like if I sign , him ordering me around. I frown. Do I want this ? Reaching for my knife and fork , I tentatively cut into the venison. It * s very tasty . * Is this what our , er * relationship will be like ? * I whisper. * You ordering me around ? * I can * t quite bring myself to look at him . * Yes , * he murmurs . * I see. * * And what * s more , you * ll want me to , * he adds , his voice low . I sincerely doubt that. I slice another piece of venison , holding it against my mouth . * It * s a big step , * I murmur , and eat . * It is. * He closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them , they are wide and grave. * Anastasia , you have to go with your gut. Do the research , read the contract * I * m happy to discuss any aspect. I * ll be in Portland until Friday if you want to talk about it before then. * His words are coming at me in a rush. * Call me * maybe we can have dinner * say , Wednesday ? I really want to make this work. In fact , I * ve never wanted anything as much as I want this to work. * His burning sincerity , his longing , is reflected in his eyes. This is fundamentally what I don * t grasp. Why me ? Why not one of the fifteen ? Oh no * Will that be me * a number ? Sixteen of many ? * What happened to the fifteen ? * I blurt out . He raises his eyebrows in surprise , then looks resigned , shaking his head . * Various things , but it boils down to *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_125: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* He pauses , struggling to find the words I think. * Incompatibility. * He shrugs . * And you think that I might be compatible with you ? * * Yes. * * So you * re not seeing any of them anymore ? * * No , Anastasia , I * m not. I am monogamous in my relationships. * Oh * this is news . * I see. * * Do the research , Anastasia. * I put my knife and fork down. I can not eat any more . * That * s it ? That * s all you * re going to eat ? * I nod. He scowls at me but chooses not to say anything. I breathe a small sigh of relief. My stomach is churning with all this new information , and I * m feeling a little lightheaded from the wine. I watch as he devours everything on his plate. He eats like a horse. He must work out to stay in such great shape. The memory of the way his pajamas hung from his hips comes unbidden to my mind. The image is totally distracting. I squirm uncomfortably. He glances up at me , and I blush . * I * d give anything to know what you * re thinking right at this moment , * he murmurs. I blush further . He smiles a wicked smile at me . * I can guess , * he teases softly . * I * m glad you can * t read my mind. * * Your mind , no , Anastasia , but your body * that I * ve gotten to know quite well since yesterday. * His voice is suggestive. How does he switch so quickly from one mood to the next ? He * s so mercurial * It * s hard to keep up . He motions for the waitress and asks for the check. Once he * s paid , he stands and holds out his hand . * Come. * Taking my hand in his , he leads me back to the car. This contact , flesh to flesh , it * s what is so unexpected from him , normal , intimate. I can * t reconcile this ordinary , tender gesture with what he wants to do in that room * the Red Room of Pain . We are quiet on the drive from Olympia to Vancouver , both lost in our own thoughts. When he parks outside my apartment , it * s five in the evening. The lights are on * Kate is at home. Packing , no doubt , unless Elliot is still there. He switches off the engine , and I realize I * m going to have to leave him . * Do you want to come in ? * I ask. I don * t want him to go. I want to prolong our time" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_128: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "like I * ve been given a school assignment. Maybe I * ll be graded. I flush , remembering my A for this morning * s bath experiment . * Ana , what is it ? * * I * m just remembering something Christian said. * * You look different , * Kate says fondly . * I feel different. Sore , * I confess . * Sore ? * * A little. * I flush . * Me , too. Men , * she says in mock disgust. * They * re animals. * We both laugh . * You * re sore ? * I exclaim . * Yes * overuse. * I giggle . * Tell me about Elliot the overuser , * I ask when I * ve stopped giggling. Oh , I can feel myself relaxing for the first time since I was in line at the bar * before the phone call that started all this * when I was admiring Mr. Grey from afar. Happy , uncomplicated days . Kate blushes. Oh my * Katherine Agnes Kavanagh goes all Anastasia Rose Steele on me. She gives me a dewy-eyed look. I * ve never seen her react this way to a man before. My jaw drops to the floor. Where * s Kate ; what have you done with her ? * Oh , Ana , * she gushes. * He * s just so * everything. And when we * oh * really good. * She can hardly string a sentence together , she * s got it so bad . * I think you * re trying to tell me that you like him. * She nods , grinning like a lunatic . * And I * m seeing him on Saturday. He * s going to help us move. * She clasps her hands together , leaps up off the couch , and pirouettes to the window. Moving. Crap * I * d forgotten all about that , even with the packing cases surrounding us . * That * s helpful of him , * I say appreciatively. I can get to know him , too. Perhaps he can give me more insight into his strange , disturbing brother . * So what did you do last night ? * I ask. She cocks her head at me and raises her eyebrows in a what-do-you-think-stupid look . * Pretty much what you did , though we had dinner first. * She grins at me. * Are you okay really ? You look kind of overwhelmed. * * I feel overwhelmed. Christian is very intense. * * Yeah , I could see how he could be. But he was good to you ? * * Yes , * I reassure her. * I * m really hungry , shall I cook ? * She nods and picks up two more books to pack . * What do you want to" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_129: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "do with the fourteen-thousand-dollar books ? * she asks . * I * m going to return them to him. * * Really ? * * It * s a completely over-the-top gift. I can * t accept it , especially now. * I grin at Kate , and she nods . * I understand. A couple of letters came for you , and Jos * has been calling every hour on the hour. He sounded desperate. * * I * ll call him , * I mutter evasively. If I tell Kate about Jos * , she * ll have him for breakfast. I collect the letters from the dining table and open them . * Hey , I have interviews ! The week after next , in Seattle , for intern placements ! * * For which publishing house ? * * For both of them ! * * I told you your GPA would open doors , Ana. * Kate , of course , already has an internship set up at The Seattle Times. Her father knows someone who knows someone . * How does Elliot feel about you going away ? * I ask . Kate wanders into the kitchen , and for the first time this evening , she * s disconsolate . * He * s understanding. Part of me doesn * t want to go , but it * s tempting to lie in the sun for a couple of weeks. Besides , Mom is hanging in there , thinking this will be our last real family holiday before Ethan and I head off into the world of paid employment. * I have never left the continental U.S. Kate is off to Barbados with her parents and her brother , Ethan , for two whole weeks. I * ll be Kateless in our new apartment. That will be weird. Ethan has been traveling the world since he graduated last year. I wonder briefly if I * ll see him before they go on vacation. He * s such a lovely guy. The phone rings , jolting me from my reverie . * That * ll be Jos * . * I sigh. I know I have to talk to him. I grab the phone . * Hi. * * Ana , you * re back ! * Jos * shouts his relief at me . * Obviously. * Sarcasm drips from my voice , and I roll my eyes at the phone . He * s silent for a moment . * Can I see you ? I * m sorry about Friday night. I was drunk * and you * well. Ana * please forgive me. * * Of course , I forgive you Jos * . Just don * t do it again. You know I don * t feel like that about you. * He sighs heavily , sadly . * I know , Ana. I just thought if I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_13: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "he like ? * Oh no * here we go , the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition . I struggle to answer her question. What can I say ? * I * m glad it * s over and I don * t have to see him again. He was rather intimidating , you know. * I shrug. * He * s very focused , intense even * and young. Really young. * Kate gazes innocently at me. I frown . * Don * t you look so innocent. Why didn * t you give me a biography ? He made me feel like such an idiot for skimping on basic research. * Kate clamps a hand to her mouth. * Jeez , Ana , I * m sorry * I didn * t think. * I huff . * Mostly he was courteous , formal , slightly stuffy * like he * s old before his time. He doesn * t talk like a man of twentysomething. How old is he , anyway ? * * Twenty-seven. Jeez , Ana , I * m sorry. I should have briefed you , but I was in such a panic. Let me have the recorder and I * ll start transcribing the interview. * * You look better. Did you eat your soup ? * I ask , keen to change the subject . * Yes , and it was delicious as usual. I * m feeling much better. * She smiles at me in gratitude. I check my watch . * I have to run. I can still make my shift at Clayton * s. * * Ana , you * ll be exhausted. * * I * ll be fine. I * ll see you later. * I * VE WORKED AT CLAYTON * S since I started at WSU. It * s the largest independent hardware store in the Portland area , and over the four years I * ve worked here , I * ve come to know a little bit about most everything we sell * although ironically , I * m crap at any DIY. I leave all that to my dad . I * M GLAD I CAN make my shift as it gives me something to focus on that isn * t Christian Grey. We * re busy * it * s the start of the summer season , and folks are redecorating their homes. Mrs. Clayton looks relieved to see me . * Ana ! I thought you weren * t going to make it today. * * My appointment didn * t take as long as I thought. I can do a couple of hours. * * I * m real pleased to see you. * She sends me to the storeroom to start restocking shelves , and I * m soon absorbed in the task . WHEN I ARRIVE HOME later , Katherine is wearing headphones and working on her laptop. Her" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_140: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "mumble . * I * ll make you some tea. * Kate scuttles off to the kitchen . * Miss Steele ? * And I immediately know who the parcel is from . * Yes , * I answer cautiously . * I have a package for you here , but I have to set it up and show you how to use it. * * Really ? At this time ? * * Only following orders , ma * am. * He smiles in a charming but professional he * s-not-taking-any-crap way . Did he just call me ma * am ? Have I aged ten years overnight ? If I have , it * s that contract. My mouth puckers in disgust . * Okay , what is it ? * * It * s a MacBook Pro. * * Of course it is. * I roll my eyes . * These aren * t available in the shops yet , ma * am ; the very latest from Apple. * How come that does not surprise me ? I sigh heavily . * Just set it up on the dining table over there. * I wander into the kitchen to join Kate . * What is it ? * she says inquisitively , bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She * s slept well , too . * It * s a laptop from Christian. * * Why * s he sent you a laptop ? You know you can use mine. * She frowns . Not for what he has in mind . * Oh , it * s only on loan. He wanted me to try it out. * My excuse sounds feeble. But Kate nods her assent. Oh my * I have hoodwinked Katherine Kavanagh. A first. She hands me my tea . The Mac laptop is sleek and silver and rather beautiful. It has a very large screen. Christian Grey likes scale * I think of his living area , in fact , his whole apartment . * It * s got the latest OS and a full suite of programs , plus a one-point-five terabyte hard drive so you * ll have plenty of room , thirty-two gigs of RAM * what are you planning to use it for ? * * Uh * e-mail. * * E-mail ! * he chokes , raising his eyebrows with a slightly sick look on his face . * And maybe Internet research ? * I shrug apologetically. He sighs . * Well , this has full wireless N , and I * ve set it up with your Me account details. This baby is all ready to go , practically anywhere on the planet. * He looks longingly at it . * Me account ? * * Your new e-mail address. * I have an e-mail address ? He points to an icon on the screen and continues to talk at me , but it * s" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_152: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "No. It doesn * t do it for me at all. * * Oh * I don * t know * it seems to have a very beneficial effect on you. * * I * m a beneficial effect , now am I ? Could you wound my ego any further , Miss Steele ? * * I don * t think there * s anything wrong with your ego. * But even as I say it , I don * t feel the conviction of my words * something elusive crosses my mind , a fleeting thought , but it * s lost before I can grasp it . * You think ? * His voice is soft. He * s lying beside me , fully clothed , his head propped up on his elbow , and I am only wearing my bra . * Why don * t you like to be touched ? * * I just don * t. * He reaches over and plants a soft kiss on my forehead. * So , that e-mail was your idea of a joke. * I smile apologetically at him and shrug . * I see. So you are still considering my proposition ? * * Your indecent proposal * yes , I am. I have issues though. * He grins down at me as if relieved . * I * d be disappointed if you didn * t. * * I was going to e-mail them to you , but you kind of interrupted me. * * Coitus interruptus. * * See , I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there. * I smile . * Only certain things are funny , Anastasia. I thought you were saying no , no discussion at all. * His voice drops . * I don * t know yet. I haven * t made up my mind. Will you collar me ? * He raises his eyebrows. * You have been doing your research. I don * t know , Anastasia. I * ve never collared anyone. * Oh * should I be surprised by this ? I know so little about the scene * I don * t know . * Were you collared ? * I whisper . * Yes. * * By Mrs. Robinson ? * * Mrs. Robinson ! * He laughs loudly , freely , and he looks so young and carefree , his head thrown back , his laughter infectious . I grin back at him . * I * ll tell her you said that ; she * ll love it. * * You still talk to her regularly ? * I can * t keep the shock out of my voice . * Yes. * He * s serious now . Oh * and part of me is suddenly insanely jealous * I * m disturbed by the depth of my feeling . * I see. * My voice" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_153: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "is tight. * So you have someone you can discuss your alternative lifestyle with , but I * m not allowed. * He frowns . * I don * t think I * ve ever thought about it like that. Mrs. Robinson was part of that lifestyle. I told you , she * s a good friend now. If you * d like , I can introduce you to one of my former subs. You could talk to her. * What ? Is he deliberately trying to upset me ? * Is this your idea of a joke ? * No , Anastasia. * He * s bemused as he shakes his head . * No * I * ll do this on my own , thank you very much , * I snap at him , pulling the duvet up to my chin . He stares at me , at sea , surprised . * Anastasia , I * * He * s lost for words. A first , I think. * I didn * t mean to offend you. * * I * m not offended. I * m appalled. * * Appalled ? * * I don * t want to talk to one of your ex-girlfriends * slave * sub * whatever you call them. * * Anastasia Steele * are you jealous ? * I flush , crimson . * Are you staying ? * * I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow at the Heathman. Besides , I told you , I don * t sleep with girlfriends , slaves , subs , or anyone. Friday and Saturday were exceptions. It won * t happen again. * I can hear the resolve behind his soft , husky voice . I purse my lips at him . * Well , I * m tired now. * * Are you kicking me out ? * He raises his eyebrows , amused and a little dismayed . * Yes. * * Well , that * s another first. * He eyes me speculatively. * So nothing you want to discuss now ? About the contract. * * No. * I reply petulantly . * God , I * d like to give you a good hiding. You * d feel a lot better , and so would I. * * You can * t say things like that * I haven * t signed anything yet. * * A man can dream , Anastasia. * He leans over me and grasps my chin. * Wednesday ? * he murmurs , and he kisses me lightly on my lips . * Wednesday , * I agree. * I * ll see you out. If you give me a minute. * I sit up and grab my T-shirt , pushing him out of the way. Reluctantly , he gets up off the bed . * Please pass me my sweatpants. * He collects them from the floor and hands them" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_164: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "don * t sign. If you do sign and then decide you don * t like it , there are enough get-out clauses so you can walk away. Even if it were legally binding , do you think I * d drag you through the courts if you did decide to run ? * I take a long sip of my wine. My subconscious taps me hard on the shoulder. You must keep your wits about you. Don * t drink too much . * Relationships like this are built on honesty and trust , * he continues. * If you don * t trust me * trust me to know how I * m affecting you , how far I can go with you , how far I can take you * if you can * t be honest with me , then we really can * t do this. * Oh my , we * ve cut to the chase quickly. How far he can take me. Holy shit. What does that mean ? * So it * s quite simple , Anastasia. Do you trust me or not ? * His eyes are burning , fervent . * Did you have similar discussions with , um * the fifteen ? * * No. * * Why not ? * * Because they were all established submissives. They knew what they wanted out of a relationship with me and generally what I expected. With them , it was just a question of fine-tuning the soft limits , details like that. * * Is there a store you go to ? Submissives * * * Us ? * He laughs. * Not exactly. * * Then how ? * * Is that what you want to discuss ? Or shall we get down to the nitty-gritty ? Your issues , as you say. * I swallow. Do I trust him ? Is that what this all comes down to * trust ? Surely that should be a two-way thing. I remember his snit when I phoned Jos * . * Are you hungry ? * he asks , distracting me from my thoughts . Oh no * food . * No. * * Have you eaten today ? * I stare at him. Honesty * Holy crap , he * s not going to like my answer . * No. * My voice is small . He narrows his eyes . * You have to eat , Anastasia. We can eat down here or in my suite. What would you prefer ? * * I think we should stay in public , on neutral ground. * He smiles sardonically . * Do you think that would stop me ? * he says softly , a sensual warning . My eyes widen , and I swallow again . * I hope so. * * Come , I have a private dining room booked. No public. * He smiles at me" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_166: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "any time , Anastasia. I won * t stop you. If you go , however * that * s it. Just so you know. * * Okay , * I answer softly. If I go , that * s it. The thought is surprisingly painful . The waiter arrives with our first course. How can I possibly eat ? Holy Moses * he * s ordered oysters on a bed of ice . * I hope you like oysters. * Christian * s voice is soft . * I * ve never had one. * Ever . * Really ? Well. * He reaches for one. * All you do is tip and swallow. I think you can manage that. * He gazes at me , and I know what he * s referring to. I blush scarlet. He grins at me , squirts some lemon juice onto his oyster , and then tips it into his mouth . * Hmm , delicious. Tastes of the sea. * He grins at me. * Go on , * he encourages . * So , I don * t chew it ? * * No , Anastasia , you don * t. * His eyes are alight with humor. He looks so young like this . I bite my lip and his expression changes instantly. He looks sternly at me. I reach across and pick up my first-ever oyster. Okay * here goes nothing. I squirt some lemon juice on it and tip it up. It slips down my throat , all sea water , salt , the sharp tang of citrus , and fleshiness * ooh. I lick my lips , and he * s watching me intently , his eyes hooded . * Well ? * * I * ll have another , * I say dryly . * Good girl , * he says proudly . * Did you choose these deliberately ? Aren * t they known for their aphrodisiac qualities ? * * No , they are the first item on the menu. I don * t need an aphrodisiac near you. I think you know that , and I think you react the same way near me , * he says simply. * So where were we ? * He glances at my e-mail as I reach for another oyster . He reacts the same way. I affect him * wow . * Obey me in all things. Yes , I want you to do that. I need you to do that. Think of it as role-play , Anastasia. * * But I * m worried you * ll hurt me. * * Hurt you how ? * * Physically. * And emotionally . * Do you really think I would do that ? Go beyond any limit you can * t take ? * * You * ve said you * ve hurt someone before. * * Yes , I have. It was a long" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_167: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "time ago. * * How did you hurt her ? * * I suspended her from my playroom ceiling. In fact , that * s one of your questions. Suspension * that * s what the carabiners are for in the playroom. Rope play. One of the ropes was tied too tightly. * I hold my hand up , begging him to stop . * I don * t need to know any more. So you won * t suspend me then ? * * Not if you really don * t want to. You can make that a hard limit. * * Okay. * * So obeying , do you think you can manage that ? * He stares at me , his gaze intense. The seconds tick by . * I could try , * I whisper . * Good. * He smiles. * Now term. One month instead of three is no time at all , especially if you want a weekend away from me each month. I don * t think I * ll be able to stay away from you for that length of time. I can barely manage it now. * He pauses . He can * t stay away from me ? What ? * How about one day over one weekend per month you get to yourself * but I get a midweek night that week ? * * Okay. * * And please , let * s try it for three months. If it * s not for you , then you can walk away anytime. * * Three months ? * I * m feeling railroaded. I take another large sip of wine and treat myself to another oyster. I could learn to like these . * The ownership thing , that * s just terminology and goes back to the principle of obeying. It * s to get you into the right frame of mind , to understand where I * m coming from. And I want you to know that as soon as you cross my threshold as my submissive , I will do what I like to you. You have to accept that and willingly. That * s why you have to trust me. I will fuck you , any time , any way I want * anywhere I want. I will discipline you , because you will screw up. I will train you to please me . * But I know you * ve not done this before. Initially , we * ll take it slowly , and I will help you. We * ll build up to various scenarios. I want you to trust me , but I know I have to earn your trust , and I will. The * or otherwise * * again it * s to help you get into the mindset ; it means anything goes. * He * s so passionate , mesmerizing. This is obviously his obsession ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_168: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "the way he is * I can * t take my eyes off him. He really , really wants this. He stops talking and gazes at me . * Still with me ? * he whispers , his voice rich , warm , and seductive. He takes a sip of his wine , his penetrating stare holding mine . The waiter comes to the door , and Christian subtly nods , permitting the waiter to clear our table . * Would you like some more wine ? * * I have to drive. * * Some water then ? * I nod . * Still or sparkling ? * * Sparkling , please. * The waiter leaves . * You * re very quiet , * Christian whispers . * You * re very verbose. * He smiles . * Discipline. There * s a very fine line between pleasure and pain , Anastasia. They are two sides of the same coin , one not existing without the other. I can show you how pleasurable pain can be. You don * t believe me now , but this is what I mean about trust. There will be pain , but nothing that you can * t handle. Again , it comes down to trust. Do you trust me , Ana ? * Ana ! * Yes , I do. * I respond spontaneously , not thinking * because it * s true * I do trust him . * Well , then , * he looks relieved. * The rest of this stuff is just details. * * Important details. * * Okay , let * s talk through those. * My head is swimming with all his words. I should have brought Kate * s digital recorder so I can listen to this again later. There is so much information , so much to process. The waiter re-emerges with our entrees : black cod , asparagus , and crushed potatoes with a hollandaise sauce. I have never felt less like food . * I hope you like fish , * Christian says mildly . I make a stab at my food and take a long drink of my sparkling water. I vehemently wish it was wine . * The rules. Let * s talk about them. The food is a deal breaker ? * * Yes. * * Can I modify to say that you will eat at least three meals a day ? * * No. * I am so not backing down on this. No one is going to dictate to me what I eat. How I fuck , yes , but eat * no , no way . He purses his lips. * I need to know that you * re not hungry. * I frown. Why ? * You * ll have to trust me. * He gazes at me for a moment , and he relaxes . * Touch * , Miss Steele ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_169: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* he says quietly. * I concede the food and the sleep. * * Why can * t I look at you ? * * That * s a Dom/sub thing. You * ll get used to it. * Will I ? * Why can * t I touch you ? * * Because you can * t. * His mouth sets in a mulish line . * Is it because of Mrs. Robinson ? * He looks quizzically at me. * Why would you think that ? * And immediately he understands. * You think she traumatized me ? * I nod . * No , Anastasia. She * s not the reason. Besides , Mrs. Robinson wouldn * t take any of that shit from me. * Oh * but I have to. I pout . * So nothing to do with her. * * No. And I don * t want you touching yourself , either. * What ? Ah yes , the no masturbation clause . * Out of curiosity * why ? * * Because I want all your pleasure. * His voice is husky but determined . Oh * I have no answer for that. On one level it * s up there with * I want to bite that lip * ; on another , it * s so selfish. I frown and take a bite of cod , trying to assess mentally what concessions I * ve gained. The food , the sleep. He * s going to take it slow , and we haven * t discussed soft limits. But I * m not sure I can face that over food . * I * ve given you a great deal to think about , haven * t I ? * * Yes. * * Do you want to go through the soft limits now , too ? * * Not over dinner. * He smiles. * Squeamish ? * * Something like that. * * You * ve not eaten very much. * * I * ve had enough. * * Three oysters , four bites of cod , and one asparagus stalk , no potatoes , no nuts , no olives , and you * ve not eaten all day. You said I could trust you. * Jeez. He * s kept an inventory . * Christian , please , it * s not every day I sit through conversations like this. * * I need you fit and healthy , Anastasia. * * I know. * * And right now , I want to peel you out of that dress. * I swallow. Peel me out of Kate * s dress. I feel the pull deep in my belly. Muscles that I * m now more acquainted with clench at his words. But I can * t have this. His most potent weapon , used against me again. He * s so good at sex * even I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_172: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* and I need some distance. * * I could make you stay , * he threatens . * Yes , you could easily , but I don * t want you to. * He runs his hand through his hair , regarding me carefully . * You know , when you fell into my office to interview me , you were all * yes , sir , * * no , sir. * I thought you were a natural-born submissive. But quite frankly , Anastasia , I * m not sure you have a submissive bone in your delectable body. * He moves slowly toward me as his speaks , his voice tense . * You may be right , * I breathe . * I want the chance to explore the possibility that you do , * he murmurs , staring down at me. He reaches up and caresses my face , his thumb tracing my lower lip. * I don * t know any other way , Anastasia. This is who I am. * * I know. * He leans down to kiss me but pauses before his lips touch mine , his eyes searching mine , wanting , asking permission. I raise my lips to his , and he kisses me , and because I don * t know if I * ll ever kiss him again , I let go * my hands moving of their own accord and twisting into his hair , pulling him to me , my mouth opening , my tongue stroking his. His hand grasps the nape of my neck as he deepens the kiss , responding to my ardor. His other hand slides down my back and flattens at the base of my spine as he pushes me against his body . * I can * t persuade you to stay ? * he breathes between kisses . * No. * * Spend the night with me. * * And not touch you ? No. * He groans . * You impossible girl. * He pulls back , gazing down at me. * Why do I think you * re telling me good-bye ? * * Because I * m leaving now. * * That * s not what I mean , and you know it. * * Christian , I have to think about this. I don * t know if I can have the kind of relationship you want. * He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against mine , giving us both the opportunity to slow our breathing. After a moment , he kisses my forehead , inhales deeply , his nose in my hair , and then he releases me , stepping back . * As you wish , Miss Steele , * he says , his face impassive. * I * ll escort you to the lobby. * He holds out his hand. Leaning down , I grab my purse and place my" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_173: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "hand in his. Holy crap , this could be it. I follow him meekly down the grand stairs and into the lobby , my scalp prickling , my blood pumping. This could be the last good-bye if I decide to say no. My heart contracts painfully in my chest. What a turnaround. What a difference a moment of clarity can make to a girl . * Do you have your valet ticket ? * I fish into my clutch purse and hand him the ticket , which he gives to the doorman. I peek up at him as we stand waiting . * Thank you for dinner , * I murmur . * It * s a pleasure as always , Miss Steele , * he says politely , though he looks deep in thought , completely distracted . As I peer up at him , I commit his beautiful profile to memory. The idea that I might not see him again haunts me , unwelcome and too painful to contemplate. He turns suddenly , staring down at me , his expression intense . * You * re moving this weekend to Seattle. If you make the right decision , can I see you on Sunday ? * He sounds hesitant . * We * ll see. Maybe , * I breathe. Momentarily , he looks relieved , and then he frowns . * It * s cooler now , don * t you have a jacket ? * * No. * He shakes his head in irritation and takes off his jacket . * Here. I don * t want you catching cold. * I blink up at him as he holds it open , and as I hold my arms out behind me , I * m reminded of the time in his office when he slipped my coat onto my shoulders * the first time I met him * and the effect he had on me then. Nothing * s changed ; in fact , it * s more intense. His jacket is warm , far too big , and it smells of him. * delicious . My car pulls up outside. Christian * s mouth drops open . * That * s what you drive ? * He * s appalled. Taking my hand , he leads me outside. The valet jumps out and hands me my keys , and Christian coolly palms him some money . * Is this roadworthy ? * He * s glaring at me now . * Yes. * * Will it make it to Seattle ? * * Yes. She will. * * Safely ? * * Yes , * I snap , exasperated. * Okay , she * s old. But she * s mine , and she * s roadworthy. My stepdad bought it for me. * * Oh , Anastasia , I think we can do better than this. * * What do you mean ? *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_174: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Realization dawns. * You are not buying me a car. * He glowers at me , his jaw tense . * We * ll see , * he says tightly . He grimaces as he opens the driver * s-side door and helps me in. I take my shoes off and roll down the window. He * s gazing at me , his expression unfathomable , eyes dark . * Drive safely , * he says quietly . * Good-bye , Christian. * My voice is hoarse from unbidden , unshed tears * jeez , I * m not going to cry. I give him a small smile . As I drive away , my chest constricts , my tears start to fall , and I choke back a sob. Soon tears are streaming down my face , and I really don * t understand why I * m crying. I was holding my own. He explained everything. He was clear. He wants me , but the truth is I need more. I need him to want me like I want and need him , and deep down I know that * s not possible. I am just overwhelmed . I don * t even know how to categorize him. If I do this thing * will he be my boyfriend ? Will I be able to introduce him to my friends ? Go out to bars , the cinema , bowling even , with him ? The truth is I don * t think I will. He won * t let me touch him and he won * t let me sleep with him. I know I * ve not had these things in my past , but I want them in my future. And that * s not the future he envisages . What if I do say yes , and in three months * time he says no , he * s had enough of trying to mold me into something I * m not ? How will I feel ? I * ll have emotionally invested three months , doing things that I * m not sure I want to do. And if he then says no , agreement over , how could I cope with that level of rejection ? Perhaps it * s best to back away now with what self-esteem I have reasonably intact . But the thought of not seeing him again is agonizing. How has he gotten under my skin so quickly ? It can * t just be the sex * can it ? I dash the tears from my eyes. I don * t want to examine my feelings for him. I * m frightened what I * ll uncover if I do. What am I going to do ? I park outside our duplex. No lights on. Kate must be out. I * m relieved. I don * t want her to catch me crying again. As I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_182: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "who are now standing beside me turn and gape at me . * He * s sent me out here , * she continues . Oh * * Your speech was great , Kate. * * It was , wasn * t it ? * She beams. * Are you coming ? He can be very insistent. * She rolls her eyes , and I grin . * You have no idea. I can * t leave Ray for long. * I glance up at Ray and hold my fingers up indicating five minutes. He nods , giving me an okay sign , and I follow Kate into the corridor behind the stage. Christian is talking to the chancellor and two of the teaching staff. He looks up when he sees me . * Excuse me , gentlemen , * I hear him murmur. He comes toward me and smiles briefly at Kate . * Thank you , * he says , and before she can reply , he takes my elbow and steers me into what looks like a men * s locker room. He checks to see if it * s empty , and then he locks the door . Holy shit , what does he have in mind ? I blink up at him as he turns on me . * Why haven * t you e-mailed me ? Or texted me back ? * He glares. I * m nonplussed . * I haven * t looked at my computer today , or my phone. * Crap , has he been trying to call ? I try my distraction technique that * s so effective on Kate. * That was a great speech. * * Thank you. * * Explains your food issues to me. * He runs a hand through his hair , exasperated . * Anastasia , I don * t want to go there at the moment. * He closes his eyes , looking pained. * I * ve been worried about you. * * Worried , why ? * * Because you went home in that deathtrap you call a car. * * What ? It * s not a deathtrap. It * s fine. Jos * regularly services it for me. * * Jos * , the photographer ? * Christian * s eyes narrow , his face frosting. Oh , crap . * Yes , the Beetle used to belong to his mother. * * Yes , and probably her mother and her mother before her. It * s not safe. * * I * ve been driving it for over three years. I * m sorry you were worried. Why didn * t you call ? * Jeez , he * s completely overreacting . He takes a deep breath . * Anastasia , I need an answer from you. This waiting around is driving me crazy. * * Christian , I * look , I * ve left" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_183: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "my stepdad on his own. * * Tomorrow. I want an answer by tomorrow. * * Okay. Tomorrow , I * ll tell you then. * He steps back , regarding me coolly , and his shoulders relax . * Are you staying for drinks ? * he asks . * I don * t know what Ray wants to do. * * Your stepfather ? I * d like to meet him. * Oh no * why ? * I * m not sure that * s a good idea. * Christian unlocks the door , his mouth in a grim line . * Are you ashamed of me ? * * No ! * It * s my turn to sound exasperated. * Introduce you to my dad as what ? * This is the man who deflowered me and wants us to start a BDSM relationship * ? You * re not wearing running shoes. * Christian glares down at me , and then his lips twitch up in a smile. And in spite of the fact I * m mad at him , my face is unwillingly pulled into an answering grin . * Just so you know , I can run quite fast. Just tell him I * m your friend , Anastasia. * He opens the door , and I head out. My mind is whirling. The chancellor , the three vice chancellors , four professors , and Kate stare at me as I walk hastily past them. Crap. Leaving Christian with the faculty , I go in search of Ray . Tell him I * m your friend . Friend with benefits , my subconscious scowls. I know , I know. I shake the unpleasant thought away. How will I introduce him to Ray ? The hall is still at least half full , and Ray has not moved from his spot. He sees me , waves , and makes his way down . * Hey , Annie. Congratulations. * He puts his arm around me . * Would you like to come and have a drink in the marquee ? * * Sure. It * s your day. Lead the way. * * We don * t have to if you don * t want to. * Please say no * * Annie , I * ve just sat for two and half hours listening to all kinds of jabbering. I need a drink. * I put my arm through his , and we stroll out with the throng into the warmth of the early afternoon. We pass the line for the official photographer . * Oh , that reminds me. * Ray drags a digital camera out of his pocket. * One for the album , Annie. * I roll my eyes at him as he snaps a picture of me . * Can I take the cap and gown off now ? I feel kind of dorky. * You look" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_188: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", * he says . * I will. Thanks for coming , Dad. * * Wouldn * t have missed it for the world , Annie. You make me so proud. * Oh no. I * m not going to get emotional. A huge lump forms in my throat , and I hug him , hard. He puts his arms around me , bemused , and I can * t help it * tears pool in my eyes . * Hey , Annie , sweetheart , * Ray croons. * Big old day * eh ? Want me to come in and make you some tea ? * I laugh , in spite of my tears. Tea is always the answer , according to Ray. I remember my mother complaining about him , saying that when it came to tea and sympathy , he was always good at the tea , not so hot on the sympathy . * No , Dad , I * m good. It * s been so great to see you. I * ll visit real soon once I * m settled in Seattle. * * Good luck with the interviews. Let me know how they go. * * Sure thing , Dad. * * Love you , Annie. * * Love you , too , Dad. * He smiles , his brown eyes warm , glowing , and he climbs back into his car. I wave him off as he drives into the dusk , and I wander listlessly back into the apartment . First thing I do is check my cell phone. It needs recharging , so I have to hunt down the charger and plug it in before I can collect my messages. Four missed calls , one voice message , and two texts. Three missed calls from Christian * no messages. One missed call from Jos * and a voice mail from him wishing me all the best for graduation . I open the texts . * Are you home safe ? * * Call me * They are both from Christian. Why didn * t he call the house ? I head into my bedroom and fire up the mean machine . From : Christian Grey Subject : Tonight Date : May 25 2011 23 : 58 To : Anastasia Steele I hope you made it home in that car of yours . Let me know if you * re okay . Christian Grey CEO , Grey Enterprises Holdings , Inc . Jeez * why is he so worried about my Beetle ? It has given me three years of loyal service , and Jos * has always been on hand to maintain it for me. Christian * s next e-mail is from today . From : Christian Grey Subject : Soft Limits Date : May 26 2011 17 : 22 To : Anastasia Steele What can I say that I haven * t already ? Happy to talk these" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_190: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "the debasement. * He gives me a brief wolfish smile. * Trust you to find something that resonates so appropriately. * * It * s also a plea , * I whisper. Why am I so nervous ? My mouth is dry . * A plea ? For me to go easy on you ? * I nod . * I bought these for you , * he says quietly , his gaze impassive. * I * ll go easier on you if you accept them. * I swallow convulsively . * Christian , I can * t accept them , they * re just too much. * * You see , this is what I was talking about , you defying me. I want you to have them , and that * s the end of the discussion. It * s very simple. You don * t have to think about this. As a submissive you would just be grateful for them. You just accept what I buy you because it pleases me for you to do so. * * I wasn * t a submissive when you bought them for me , * I whisper . * No * but you * ve agreed , Anastasia. * His eyes turn wary . I sigh. I am not going to win this , so over to plan B . * So they are mine to do with as I wish ? * He eyes me suspiciously but concedes . * Yes. * * In that case , I * d like to give them to a charity , one working in Darfur since that seems to be close to your heart. They can auction them. * * If that * s what you want to do. * His mouth sets into a hard line. He * s disappointed . I flush . * I * ll think about it , * I murmur. I don * t want to disappoint him , and his words come back to me. I want you to want to please me . * Don * t think , Anastasia. Not about this. * His tone is quiet and serious . How can I not think ? You can pretend to be a car , like his other possessions. My subconscious makes an unwelcome vitriolic return. I ignore her. Oh , can * t we rewind ? The atmosphere between us is now tense. I don * t know what to do. I stare down at my fingers. How do I retrieve this situation ? He puts the champagne bottle on the table and stands in front of me. Putting his hand under my chin , he tilts my head up. He gazes down at me , his expression grave . * I will buy you lots of things , Anastasia. Get used to it. I can afford it. I * m a very wealthy man. * He leans down and plants a swift" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_192: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Did you try the wine at the reception ? * Christian makes a face . * Yes. It was foul. * * I thought of you when I tasted it. How did you get to be so knowledgeable about wine ? * * I * m not knowledgeable , Anastasia , I just know what I like. * His eyes shine , almost silver , and it makes me flush. * Some more ? * he asks , referring to the champagne . * Please. * Christian rises gracefully and collects the bottle. He fills my cup. Is he getting me tipsy ? I eye him suspiciously . * This place looks pretty bare. Are you ready for the move ? * * More or less. * * Are you working tomorrow ? * * Yes , my last day at Clayton * s. * * I * d help you move , but I promised to meet my sister at the airport. * Oh * this is news . * Mia arrives from Paris very early Saturday morning. I * m heading back to Seattle tomorrow , but I hear Elliot is giving you two a hand. * * Yes , Kate is very excited about that. * Christian frowns. * Yes , Kate and Elliot , who would have thought ? * he murmurs , and for some reason he doesn * t look pleased. * So what are you doing about work in Seattle ? * When are we going to talk about the limits ? What * s his game ? * I have a couple of interviews for intern places. * * You were going tell me this when ? * He arches a brow . * Er * I * m telling you now. * He narrows his eyes . * Where ? * For some reason , possibly because he might use his influence , I don * t want to tell him . * A couple of publishing houses. * * Is that what you want to do , something in publishing ? * I nod warily . * Well ? * He looks at me patiently wanting more information . * Well what ? * * Don * t be obtuse , Anastasia , which publishing houses ? * he scolds . * Just small ones , * I murmur . * Why don * t you want me to know ? * * Undue influence. * He frowns . * Oh , now you * re being obtuse. * He laughs. * Obtuse ? Me ? God , you * re challenging. Drink up , let * s talk about these limits. * He fishes out another copy of my e-mail and the list. Does he wander about with these lists in his pockets ? I think there * s one in his jacket that I have. Shit , I * d better not forget that. I drain my cup" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_204: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* If you imagine for one minute that I think you ceded control to me , well you haven * t taken into account my GPA. * I smile shyly at him. * But thank you for the illusion. * * Miss Steele , you are not just a pretty face. You * ve had six orgasms so far and all of them belong to me , * he boasts , playful again . I flush and blink at the same time , as he stares down at me. He * s keeping count ! His brow furrows . * Do you have something to tell me ? * his voice is suddenly stern . I frown. Crap . * I had a dream this morning. * * Oh ? * He glares at me . Double crap. Am I in trouble ? * I came in my sleep. * I throw my arm over my eyes. He says nothing. I peek up at him from under my arm , and he looks amused . * In your sleep ? * * Woke me up. * * I * m sure it did. What were you dreaming about ? * Crap . * You. * * What was I doing ? * I throw my arm over my eyes again. And like a small child , I briefly entertain the thought that if I can * t see him , then he can * t see me . * Anastasia , what was I doing ? I won * t ask you again. * * You had a riding crop. * He moves my arm . * Really ? * * Yes. * I am crimson . * There * s hope for you yet , * he murmurs. * I have several riding crops. * * Brown plaited leather ? * He laughs. * No , but I * m sure I could get one. * Leaning down , he gives me a brief kiss , then stands and grabs his boxers. Oh no * he * s going. I glance quickly at the time * it * s only nine forty. I scoot out of bed , too , and grab my sweatpants and a cami top , then sit back on the bed , cross-legged , watching him. I don * t want him to go. What can I do ? * When is your period due ? * He interrupts my thoughts . What ? * I hate wearing these things , * he grumbles. He holds up the condom , then puts it on the floor and slips on his jeans . * Well ? * he prompts when I don * t reply , and he looks at me expectantly as if he * s waiting for my opinion on the weather. Holy crap * this is personal stuff . * Next week. * I stare down at my hands . * You need" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_205: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "to sort out some contraception. * He is so bossy. I stare at him blankly. He sits back on the bed as he puts on his shoes and socks . * Do you have a doctor ? * I shake my head. We are back to mergers and acquisitions * another 180-degree mood swing . He frowns. * I can have mine come and see you at your apartment * Sunday morning before you come and see me. Or he can see you at my place. Which would you prefer ? * No pressure then. Something else that he * s paying for * but actually this is for his benefit . * Your place. * That means I am guaranteed to see him Sunday . * Okay. I * ll let you know the time. * * Are you leaving ? * Don * t go * stay with me , please . * Yes. * Why ? * How are you getting back ? * I whisper . * Taylor will pick me up. * * I can drive you. I have a lovely new car. * He gazes at me , his expression warm . * That * s more like it. But I think you * ve had too much to drink. * * Did you get me tipsy on purpose ? * * Yes. * * Why ? * * Because you overthink everything , and you * re reticent like your stepdad. A drop of wine in you and you start talking , and I need you to communicate honestly with me. Otherwise you clam up and I have no idea what you * re thinking. In vino veritas , Anastasia. * * And you think you * re always honest with me ? * * I endeavor to be. * He looks down at me warily. * This will only work if we * re honest with each other. * * I * d like you to stay and use this. * I hold up the second condom . He smiles and his eyes glow with humor . * Anastasia , I have crossed so many lines here tonight. I have to go. I * ll see you on Sunday. I * ll have the revised contract ready for you , and then we can really start to play. * * Play ? * Holy shit. My heart leaps into my mouth . * I * d like to do a scene with you. But I won * t until you * ve signed , so I know you * re ready. * * Oh. So I could stretch this out if I don * t sign ? * He gazes at me assessing , and then his lips twitch into a smile. * Well , I suppose you could , but I may crack under the strain. * * Crack ? How ? * My inner goddess has woken and is paying" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_210: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "your behind. * What ? * No. I * ll be fine. * * Anastasia , * he warns , and I want to roll my eyes but quickly stop myself. I stand facing the bed. Sitting beside me , he gently pulls my sweatpants down again. Up and down like whores * drawers , my subconscious remarks bitterly. In my head , I tell her where to go. Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness * from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass , who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid . * I like my hands on you , * he murmurs , and I have to agree ; me , too . * There , * he says when he * s finished , and he pulls my pants up again . I glance over at my clock. It * s ten thirty . * I * m leaving now. * * I * ll see you out. * I still can * t look at him . Taking my hand , he leads me to the front door. Fortunately , Kate is still not home. She must still be having dinner with her folks and Ethan. I * m really glad she * s not been around to hear my chastisement . * Don * t you have to call Taylor ? * I ask , avoiding eye contact . * Taylor * s been here since nine. Look at me , * he breathes . I struggle to meet his eyes , but when I do , he * s gazing down at me with wonder . * You didn * t cry , * he murmurs , then grabs me suddenly and kisses me fervently. * Sunday , * he whispers against my lips , and it * s both a promise and a threat . I watch him walk down the path and climb into the big black Audi. He doesn * t look back. I close the door and stand helpless in the living room of an apartment that I shall only spend another two nights in. A place I have lived happily for almost four years * yet today , for the first time ever , I feel lonely and uncomfortable here , unhappy with my own company. Have I strayed so far from who I am ? I know that lurking , not very far under my rather numb exterior , is a well of tears. What am I doing ? The irony is I can * t even sit down and enjoy a good cry. I * ll have to stand. I know it * s late , but I decide to call my mom . * Honey , how are you ? How was graduation ? * she enthuses down the phone. Her voice is a soothing balm . * Sorry it * s" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_211: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "so late , * I whisper . She pauses . * Ana ? What * s wrong ? * She * s all seriousness now . * Nothing , Mom , I just wanted to hear your voice. * She * s silent for a moment . * Ana , what is it ? Please tell me. * Her voice is soft and comforting , and I know that she cares. Uninvited , my tears begin to flow. I have cried so often in the last few days . * Please , Ana , * she says , and her anguish reflects mine . * Oh , Mom , it * s a man. * * What * s he done to you ? * Her alarm is palpable . * It * s not like that. * Although it is * Oh , crap. I don * t want to worry her. I just want someone else to be strong for me at the moment . * Ana , please , you * re worrying me. * I take a big breath. * I * ve kind of fallen for this guy , and he * s so different from me , and I don * t know if we should be together. * * Oh , darling. I wish I could be with you. I am so sorry I missed your graduation. You * ve fallen for someone , finally. Oh , honey , men , they are tricky. They * re a different species , honey. How long have you known him ? * Christian is definitely a different species * different planet . * Oh , nearly three weeks or so. * * Ana , darling , that * s no time at all. How can you possibly know someone in that kind of time frame ? Just take it easy with him and keep him at arm * s length until you decide whether he * s worthy of you. * Wow * it * s unnerving when my mother is so insightful , but she * s just too late on this. Is he worthy of me ? That * s an interesting concept. I always wonder whether I am worthy of him . * Honey , you sound so unhappy. Come home * visit with us. I miss you , darling. Bob would love to see you , too. You can get some distance and maybe some perspective. You need a break. You * ve been working so hard. * Oh boy , is this tempting. Run away to Georgia. Grab some sunshine , some cocktails. My mother * s good humor * her loving arms . * I have two job interviews in Seattle on Monday. * * Oh , that * s wonderful news. * The door opens and Kate appears , grinning at me. Her face falls when she sees I * ve been crying . * Mom , I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_216: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "what they are saying. He * s back a few moments later with pills and a teacup of water . * Take these , * he orders gently as he sits on my bed beside me . I do as I * m told . * Talk to me , * he whispers. * You told me you were okay. I * d never have left you if I thought you were like this. * I stare down at my hands. What can I say that I haven * t said already ? I want more. I want him to stay because he wants to stay with me , not because I * m a blubbering mess , and I don * t want him to beat me , is that so unreasonable ? * I take it that when you said you were okay , you weren * t. * I flush. * I thought I was fine. * * Anastasia , you can * t tell me what you think I want to hear. That * s not very honest , * he admonishes me. * How can I trust anything you * ve said to me ? * I peek up at him , and he * s frowning , a bleak look in his eye. He runs both hands through his hair . * How did you feel while I was hitting you and after ? * * I didn * t like it. I * d rather you didn * t do it again. * * You weren * t meant to like it. * * Why do you like it ? * I stare up at him . My question surprises him . * You really want to know ? * * Oh , trust me , I * m fascinated. * And I can * t quite keep the sarcasm out of my voice . He narrows his eyes again . * Careful , * he warns . I blanch. * Are you going to hit me again ? * * No , not tonight. * Phew * my subconscious and I both breathe a silent sigh of relief . * So , * I prompt . * I like the control it gives me , Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way , and if you don * t , I shall punish you , and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you. I * ve wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay. * I flush at the memory. Jeez , I wanted to spank myself after that question. So Katherine Kavanagh is responsible for all this , and if she * d gone to that interview and asked her gay question , she * d be sitting here with the sore ass. I don * t like that thought. How confusing is this ? * So you" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_226: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", and drives away . Apartment , Beetle , Clayton * s * it * s all change now. I shake my head as I wander back inside. And the biggest change of all is Christian Grey. Taylor thinks he * s a good man. Can I believe him ? JOS * JOINS US WITH Chinese takeout at eight. We * re done. We * re packed and ready to go. He brings several bottles of beer , and Kate and I sit on the couch while he * s cross-legged on the floor between us. We watch crap TV , drink beer , and , as the evening wears on , we fondly and loudly reminisce as the beer takes effect. It * s been a good four years . The atmosphere between Jos * and me has returned to normal , the attempted kiss forgotten. Well , it * s been swept under the rug that my inner goddess is lying on , eating grapes and tapping her fingers , waiting not so patiently for Sunday. There * s a knock on the door , and my heart leaps into my throat. Is it * ? Kate answers the door and is nearly knocked off her feet by Elliot. He seizes her in a Hollywood-style clinch that moves quickly into a European art house embrace. Honestly * get a room. Jos * and I stare at each other. I * m appalled at their lack of modesty . * Shall we walk down to the bar ? * I ask Jos * , who nods frantically. We are too uncomfortable with the unrestrained sexing unfolding in front of us. Kate looks up at me , flushed and bright-eyed . * Jos * and I are going for a quick drink. * I roll my eyes at her. Ha ! I can still roll my eyes in my own time . * Okay. * She grins . * Hi , Elliot. Bye , Elliot. * He winks a big blue eye at me , and Jos * and I are out the door , giggling like teenagers . As we stroll down to the bar , I put my arm through Jos * * s. God , he * s so uncomplicated * I hadn * t really appreciated that before . * You * ll still come to the opening of my show , won * t you ? * * Of course , Jos * , when is it ? * * June ninth. * * What day is that ? * I suddenly panic . * It * s a Thursday. * * Yeah , I should make that * and you will visit us in Seattle ? * * Try to stop me. * He grins . IT * S LATE WHEN I arrive back from the bar. Kate and Elliot are nowhere to be seen , but boy , can they be heard. Holy" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_228: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* How about you ? * I ask to fill the sudden deafening chasm of silence. I will not let him make me feel guilty about Jos * . Eventually , he sighs . * I went to a fund-raising dinner. It was deathly dull. I left as soon as I could. * He sounds so sad and resigned. My heart clenches. I picture him all those nights ago sitting at the piano in his huge living room and the unbearable bittersweet melancholy of the music he was playing . * I wish you were here , * I whisper , because I have an urge to hold him. Soothe him. Even though he won * t let me. I want his proximity . * Do you ? * he murmurs blandly. Holy shit. This doesn * t sound like him , and my scalp prickles with dawning apprehension . * Yes , * I breathe. After an eternity , he sighs . * I * ll see you Sunday ? * * Yes , Sunday , * I murmur , and a thrill courses through my body . * Good night. * * Good night , Sir. * My address catches him unawares , I can tell by his sharp intake of breath . * Good luck with your move tomorrow , Anastasia. * His voice is soft. And we * re both hanging on the phone like teenagers , neither wanting to hang up . * You hang up , * I whisper. Finally , I sense his smile . * No , you hang up. * And I know he * s grinning . * I don * t want to. * * Neither do I. * * Were you very angry with me ? * * Yes. * * Are you still ? * * No. * * So you * re not going to punish me ? * * No. I * m an in-the-moment kind of guy. * * I * ve noticed. * * You can hang up now , Miss Steele. * * Do you really want me to , Sir ? * * Go to bed , Anastasia. * * Yes , Sir. * We both stay on the line . * Do you ever think you * ll be able to do what you * re told ? * He * s amused and exasperated at once . * Maybe. We * ll see after Sunday. * And I press * end * on the phone . Elliot stands and admires his handiwork. He has replugged our TV into the satellite system in our Pike Place Market apartment. Kate and I flop onto the couch giggling , impressed by his prowess with a power drill. The flat screen looks odd against the brickwork of the converted warehouse , but no doubt I will get used to it . * See , baby , easy. * He grins a wide ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_232: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "gazes down at me. * Welcome back , Miss Steele , * he whispers and , clasping my chin , he leans down and proffers a gentle , light kiss on my lips. The touch of his lips to mine reverberates throughout my body. My breath hitches . * Hi , * I whisper as I flush . * You * re on time. I like punctual. Come. * He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. * I wanted to show you something , * he says as we sit. He hands me the Seattle Times. On page eight , there * s a photograph of the two of us together at the graduation ceremony. Holy crap. I * m in the paper. I check the caption . Christian Grey and friend at the graduation ceremony at WSU Vancouver . I laugh. * So I * m your * friend * now. * * So it would appear. And it * s in the newspaper , so it must be true. * He smirks . Sitting beside me , his whole body is turned toward me , one of his legs tucked under the other. Reaching over , he tucks my hair behind my ear with his long index finger. My body comes alive at his touch , waiting and needful . * So , Anastasia , you have a much better idea of what I * m about since you were last here. * * Yes. * Where * s he going with this ? * And yet you * ve returned. * I nod shyly , and his eyes blaze. He shakes his head as if he * s struggling with the idea . * Have you eaten ? * he asks out of the blue . Shit . * No. * * Are you hungry ? * He * s really trying not to look annoyed . * Not for food , * I whisper , and his nostrils flare in reaction . He leans forward and whispers in my ear. * You are as eager as ever , Miss Steele , and just to let you in on a little secret , so am I. But Dr. Greene is due here shortly. * He sits up. * I wish you * d eat , * he scolds me mildly. My heated blood cools. Holy cow * the doctor. I * d forgotten . * What can you tell me about Dr. Greene ? * I ask to distract us both . * She * s the best ob-gyn in Seattle. What more can I say ? * He shrugs . * I thought I was seeing your doctor , and don * t tell me you * re really a woman , because I won * t believe you. * He gives me a don * t-be-ridiculous look . * I think it * s more appropriate that you see a specialist. Don" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_233: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* t you ? * he says mildly . I nod. Holy Moses , if she * s the best ob-gyn , he * s scheduled her to see me on a Sunday * at lunchtime ! I can not begin to imagine how much that costs. Christian frowns suddenly as if recalling something unpleasant . * Anastasia , my mother would like you to come to dinner this evening. I believe Elliot is asking Kate , too. I don * t know how you feel about that. It will be odd for me to introduce you to my family. * Odd ? Why ? * Are you ashamed of me ? * I can * t keep the wounded hurt out of my voice . * Of course not. * He rolls his eyes . * Why is it odd ? * * Because I * ve never done it before. * * Why are you allowed to roll your eyes , and I * m not ? * He blinks at me. * I wasn * t aware that I was. * * Neither am I , usually , * I snap . Christian glares at me , speechless. Taylor appears at the doorway . * Dr. Greene is here , sir. * * Show her up to Miss Steele * s room. * Miss Steele * s room ! * Ready for some contraception ? * he asks as he stands and holds out his hand to me . * You * re not going to come as well , are you ? * I gasp , shocked . He laughs. * I * d pay very good money to watch , believe me , Anastasia , but I don * t think the good doctor would approve. * I take his hand , and he pulls me up into his arms and kisses me deeply. I clutch his arms , taken by surprise. His hand is in my hair , holding my head , and he pulls me against him , his forehead against mine . * I * m so glad you * re here , * he whispers. * I can * t wait to get you naked. * CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Dr. Greene is tall , blond , and immaculate , dressed in a royal-blue suit. I * m reminded of the women who work in Christian * s office. She * s like an identikit model * another Stepford blonde. Her long hair is swept up in an elegant chignon. She must be in her early forties . * Mr. Grey. * She shakes Christian * s outstretched hand . * Thank you for coming on such short notice , * Christian says . * Thank you for making it worth my while , Mr. Grey. Miss Steele. * She smiles , her eyes cool and assessing . We shake hands , and I know she * s one of those women who" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_236: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "me * what method did you opt for ? * I am momentarily thrown by his question , when I realize he * s talking about Dr. Greene * s visit . * Mini pill. * He frowns . * And will you remember to take it regularly , at the right time , every day ? * Jeez * of course I will. How does he know ? I blush at the thought * probably from one or more of the fifteen . * I * m sure you * ll remind me , * I murmur dryly . He glances at me with amused condescension . * I * ll put an alarm on my calendar. * He smirks. * Eat. * The chicken caesar is delicious. To my surprise , I * m famished , and for the first time since I * ve been with him , I finish my meal before he does. The wine is crisp , clean , and fruity . * Eager as ever , Miss Steele ? * he smiles down at my empty plate . I look at him from beneath my lashes . * Yes , * I whisper . His breath hitches. And as he stares down at me , the atmosphere between us slowly shifting , evolving * charging. His look goes from dark to smoldering , taking me with him. He stands , closing the distance between us , and tugs me off my barstool into his arms . * Do you want to do this ? * he breathes , looking down at me intently . * I haven * t signed anything. * * I know * but I * m breaking all the rules these days. * * Are you going to hit me ? * * Yes , but it won * t be to hurt you. I don * t want to punish you right now. If you * d caught me yesterday evening , well , that would have been a different story. * Holy cow. He wants to hurt me * how do I deal with this ? I can * t hide the horror on my face . * Don * t let anyone try to convince you otherwise , Anastasia. One of the reasons people like me do this is because we either like to give or receive pain. It * s very simple. You don * t , so I spent a great deal of time yesterday thinking about that. * He pulls me against him , and his erection presses into my belly. I should run , but I can * t. I * m drawn to him on some deep , elemental level that I can * t begin to understand . * Did you reach any conclusions ? * I whisper . * No , and right now , I just want to tie you up and fuck you senseless. Are you ready" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_239: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "if he wants me to remember. He reaches down and grasps my braid again , then pulls my head back so I am looking up at him. It * s only just not painful . * Will you remember this position , Anastasia ? * * Yes , Sir. * * Good. Stay here , don * t move. * He leaves the room . I * m on my knees , waiting. Where * s he gone ? What is he going to do to me ? Time shifts. I have no idea how long he leaves me like this * a few minutes , five , ten ? My breathing becomes shallower ; the anticipation is devouring me from the inside out . And suddenly he * s back * and all at once I * m calmer and more excited in the same breath. Could I be more excited ? I can see his feet. He * s changed his jeans. These are older , ripped , soft , and over-washed. Holy cow. These jeans are hot. He shuts the door and hangs something on the back . * Good girl , Anastasia. You look lovely like that. Well done. Stand up. * I stand , but I keep my face down . * You may look at me. * I peek up at him , and he * s staring at me intently , assessing , but his eyes soften. He * s taken off his shirt. Oh my * I want to touch him. The top button of his jeans is undone . * I * m going to chain you now , Anastasia. Give me your right hand. * I give him my hand. He turns it palm up , and before I know it , he swats the center with a riding crop I hadn * t noticed is in his right hand. It happens so quickly that the surprise hardly registers. Even more astonishing * it doesn * t hurt. Well , not much , just a slight ringing sting . * How does that feel ? * he asks . I blink at him , confused . * Answer me. * * Okay. * I frown . * Don * t frown. * I blink and try for impassive. I succeed . * Did that hurt ? * * No. * * This is not going to hurt. Do you understand ? * * Yes. * My voice is uncertain. Is it really not going to hurt ? * I mean it , * he says . Jeez , my breathing is so shallow. Does he know what I * m thinking ? He shows me the crop. It * s brown plaited leather. My eyes jerk up to meet his , and they * re alight with fire and a trace of amusement . * We aim to please , Miss Steele , * he murmurs. * Come. * He" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_25: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "about Jos * ? * * Great idea ! You ask him * he * ll do anything for you. Then call Grey and find out where he wants us. * Kate is irritatingly cavalier about Jos * . * I think you should call him. * * Who , Jos * ? * Kate scoffs . * No , Grey. * * Ana , you * re the one with the relationship. * * Relationship ? * I squeak at her , my voice rising several octaves. * I barely know the guy. * * At least you * ve met him , * she says bitterly. * And it looks like he wants to know you better. Ana , just call him , * she snaps and hangs up. She is so bossy sometimes. I frown at my cell , sticking my tongue out at it . I * m just leaving a message for Jos * when Paul enters the stockroom looking for sandpaper . * We * re kind of busy out there , Ana , * he says without acrimony . * Yeah , um , sorry , * I mutter , turning to leave . * So , how come you know Christian Grey ? * Paul * s voice is unconvincingly nonchalant . * I had to interview him for our student newspaper. Kate wasn * t well. * I shrug , trying to sound casual and doing no better than him . * Christian Grey in Clayton * s. Go figure , * Paul snorts , amazed. He shakes his head as if to clear it. * Anyway , want to grab a drink or something this evening ? * Whenever he * s home he asks me on a date , and I always say no. It * s a ritual. I * ve never considered it a good idea to date the boss * s brother , and besides , Paul is cute in a wholesome all-American boy-next-door kind of way , but he * s no literary hero , not by any stretch of the imagination. Is Grey ? my subconscious asks me , her eyebrow figuratively raised. I slap her down . * Don * t you have a family dinner or something for your brother ? * * That * s tomorrow. * * Maybe some other time , Paul. I need to study tonight. I have my finals next week. * * Ana , one of these days you * ll say yes. * He smiles as I escape to the store floor . * BUT I DO PLACES , Ana , not people , * Jos * groans . * Jos * , please ? * I beg. I pace the living room of our apartment , clutching my cell and staring out the window at the fading evening light . * Give me that phone. * Kate grabs the handset from me , tossing" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_265: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Anastasia , I * m delighted that you * ve met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt ? It never ceases to amaze me. You * re such a strong , self-contained young woman , but you have such negative thoughts about yourself. If I hadn * t wanted you to meet them , you wouldn * t be here. Is that how you were feeling the whole time you were there ? * Oh ! He wanted me there * and it * s a revelation. He doesn * t seem uncomfortable answering me as he would if he were hiding the truth. He seems genuinely pleased that I * m here * a warm glow spreads slowly through my veins. He shakes his head and reaches for my hand. I glance nervously at Taylor . * Don * t worry about Taylor. Talk to me. * I shrug . * Yes. I thought that. And another thing , I only mentioned Georgia because Kate was talking about Barbados. I haven * t made up my mind. * * Do you want to go and see your mother ? * * Yes. * He looks oddly at me , like he * s having some internal struggle . * Can I come with you ? * he asks eventually . What ! * Erm * I don * t think that * s a good idea. * * Why not ? * * I was hoping for a break from all this * intensity to try to think things through. * He stares at me . * I * m too intense ? * I burst out laughing. * That * s putting it mildly ! * In the light of the passing street lamps , I see his lips quirk up . * Are you laughing at me , Miss Steele ? * * I wouldn * t dare , Mr. Grey , * I reply with mock seriousness . * I think you dare , and I think you do laugh at me , frequently. * * You are quite funny. * * Funny ? * * Oh yes. * * Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha ? * * Oh * a lot of one and some of the other. * * Which way more ? * * I * ll leave you to figure that out. * * I * m not sure if I can figure anything out around you , Anastasia , * he says sardonically , and then continues quietly , * What do you need to think about in Georgia ? * * Us , * I whisper . He stares at me , impassive . * You said you * d try , * he murmurs . * I know. * * Are you having second thoughts ? * * Possibly. * He shifts as if uncomfortable . * Why ? * Holy crap. How did this suddenly" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_266: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "become such an intense and meaningful conversation ? It * s been sprung on me , like an exam that I * m not prepared for. What do I say ? Because I think I love you , and you just see me as a toy. Because I can * t touch you , because I * m too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse * beat me ? What can I say ? I stare momentarily out of the window. The car is heading back across the bridge. We are both shrouded in darkness , masking our thoughts and feelings , but we don * t need the night for that . * Why , Anastasia ? * Christian presses me for an answer . I shrug , trapped. I don * t want to lose him. In spite of all his demands , his need to control , his scary vices , I have never felt as alive as I do now. It * s a thrill to be sitting here beside him. He * s so unpredictable , sexy , smart , and funny. But his moods * oh * and he wants to hurt me. He says he * ll think about my reservations , but it still scares me. I close my eyes. What can I say ? Deep down I would just like more , more affection , more playful Christian , more * love . He squeezes my hand . * Talk to me , Anastasia. I don * t want to lose you. This last week * * We * re coming near to the end of the bridge , and the road is once more bathed in the neon light of the street lamps so his face is intermittently in the light and the dark. And it * s such a fitting metaphor. This man , whom I once thought of as a romantic hero , a brave shining white knight * or the dark knight , as he said. He * s not a hero ; he * s a man with serious , deep emotional flaws , and he * s dragging me into the dark. Can I not guide him into the light ? * I still want more , * I whisper . * I know , * he says. * I * ll try. * I blink up at him , and he relinquishes my hand and pulls at my chin , releasing my trapped lip . * For you , Anastasia , I will try. * He * s radiating sincerity . And that * s my cue. I unbuckle my seatbelt , reach across , and clamber into his lap , taking him completely by surprise. Wrapping my arms around his head , I kiss him , long and hard , and in a nanosecond , he * s responding . * Stay with" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_269: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "surprise , and I see a glimmer of excitement. * Well * the door * s closed. Not sure how you * re going to avoid me , * he says sardonically. * I think it * s a done deal. * * But I * m a good negotiator. * * So am I. * He stares down at me , but as he does , his expression changes , confusion washes over him and the atmosphere in the room shifts abruptly , tensing. * Don * t you want to fuck ? * he asks . * No , * I breathe . * Oh. * He frowns . Okay , here goes * deep breath . * I want you to make love to me. * He stills and stares at me blankly. His expression darkens. Oh , shit , this doesn * t look good. Give him a minute ! My subconscious snaps . * Ana , I * * He runs his hands through his hair. Two hands. Jeez , he * s really bewildered. * I thought we did ? * he says eventually . * I want to touch you. * He takes an involuntary step back from me , his expression for a moment fearful , and then he reins it in . * Please , * I whisper . He recovers himself. * Oh no , Miss Steele , you * ve had enough concessions from me this evening. And I * m saying no. * * No ? * * No. * Oh * I can * t argue with that * can I ? * Look , you * re tired , I * m tired. Let * s just go to bed , * he says , watching me carefully . * So touching is a hard limit for you ? * * Yes. This is old news. * * Please tell me why. * * Oh , Anastasia , please. Just drop it for now , * he mutters exasperated . * It * s important to me. * Again he runs both hands through his hair , and he utters an oath beneath his breath. Turning on his heel , he heads for the chest of drawers , pulls out a T-shirt , and throws it at me. I catch it , bemused . * Put that on and get into bed , * he snaps , irritated . I frown but decide to humor him. Turning my back , I quickly remove my bra , pulling the T-shirt on as hastily as I can to cover my nakedness. I leave my panties on ; I haven * t worn them for most of the evening . * I need the bathroom. * My voice is a whisper . He frowns , bemused . * Now you * re asking permission ? * * Er * no. * * Anastasia , you know where the bathroom" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_271: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "later he joins me . * You know this is not how I saw tonight panning out , * he mutters petulantly . * Imagine if I said to you that you couldn * t touch me. * He clambers onto the bed and sits cross-legged . * Anastasia , I * ve told you. Fifty shades. I had a rough start in life * you don * t want that shit in your head. Why would you ? * * Because I want to know you better. * * You know me well enough. * * How can you say that ? * I struggle up onto my knees , facing him . He rolls his eyes at me , frustrated . * You * re rolling your eyes. Last time I did that , I ended up over your knee. * * Oh , I * d like to put you there again. * Inspiration hits me . * Tell me and you can. * * What ? * * You heard me. * * You * re bargaining with me ? * His voice resonates with astonished disbelief . I nod. Yes * this is the way . * Negotiating. * * It doesn * t work that way , Anastasia. * * Okay. Tell me , and I * ll roll my eyes at you. * He laughs , and I get a rare glimpse of carefree Christian. I * ve not seen him for a while. He sobers . * Always so keen and eager for information. * He gazes at me speculatively. After a moment , he gracefully climbs off the bed. * Don * t go away , * he says and exits the room . Trepidation lances through me , and I hug myself. What * s he doing ? Does he have some evil plan ? Crap. Suppose he returns with a cane , or some weird kinky implement ? Holy shit , what will I do then ? When he does return , he * s holding something small in his hands. I can * t see what it is , and I * m burning with curiosity . * When * s your first interview tomorrow ? * he asks softly . * Two. * A slow , wicked grin spreads across his face . * Good. * And before my eyes , he subtly changes. He * s harder , intractable * hot. This is Dominant Christian . * Get off the bed. Stand over here. * He points to beside the bed , and I scramble up and off in double time. He stares intently down at me , his eyes glittering with promise. * Trust me ? * he asks . I nod. He holds out his hand , and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread . * These are new , * he says emphatically . I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_281: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", * he replies automatically , but there * s an edge to his voice . I * m not saying thank you for fucking me. Although , it was very * * What ? * he asks , and I realize I * m frowning . * What * s wrong ? * I ask softly . * What do you mean ? * * Well * you * re being more weird than usual. * * You find me weird ? * He tries to stifle a smile . * Sometimes. * He regards me for a moment , his eyes speculative. * As ever , I * m surprised by you , Miss Steele. * * Surprised how ? * * Let * s just say that was an unexpected treat. * * We aim to please , Mr. Grey. * I cock my head to one side like he often does to me and give his words back to him . * And please me you do , * he says , but he looks uneasy. * I thought you were going to have a shower. * Oh , he * s dismissing me . * Yes * um , I * ll see you in a moment. * I scurry out of his office completely dumbfounded . He seemed confused. Why ? I have to say as physical experiences go , that was very satisfying. But emotionally * well , I * m rattled by his reaction , and that was about as emotionally enriching as cotton candy is nutritious . Mrs. Jones is still in the kitchen. * Would you like your tea now , Miss Steele ? * * I * ll have a shower first , thank you , * I mutter and take my blazing face quickly out of the room . In the shower , I try to figure out what * s up with Christian. He is the most complicated person I know , and I can not understand his ever-changing moods. He seemed fine when I went into his study. We had sex * and then he wasn * t. No , I don * t get it. I look to my subconscious. She * s whistling with her hands behind her back and looking anywhere but at me. She hasn * t got a clue , and my inner goddess is still basking in a remnant of postcoital glow. No * we * re all clueless . I towel-dry my hair , comb it through with Christian * s one and only hair implement , and put my hair up in a bun. Kate * s plum dress hangs laundered and ironed in the closet along with my clean bra and panties. Mrs. Jones is a marvel. Slipping on Kate * s shoes , I straighten my dress , take a deep breath , and head back out to the great room . Christian is still nowhere" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_282: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "to be seen , and Mrs. Jones is checking the contents of the pantry . * Tea now , Miss Steele ? * she asks . * Please. * I smile at her. I feel slightly more confident now that I * m dressed . * Would you like something to eat ? * * No , thank you. * * Of course you * ll have something to eat , * Christian snaps , glowering. * She likes pancakes , bacon , and eggs , Mrs. Jones. * * Yes , Mr. Grey. What would you like , sir ? * * Omelet , please , and some fruit. * He doesn * t take his eyes off me , his expression unfathomable. * Sit , * he orders , pointing to one of the barstools . I oblige , and he sits beside me while Mrs. Jones busies herself with breakfast. Gosh , it * s unnerving having someone else listen to our conversation . * Have you bought your air ticket ? * * No , I * ll buy it when I get home * over the Internet. * He leans on his elbow , rubbing his chin . * Do you have the money ? * Oh no . * Yes , * I say with mock patience as if I * m talking to a small child . He raises a censorious eyebrow at me. Crap . * Yes , I do , thank you , * I amend rapidly . * I have a jet. It * s not scheduled to be used for three days ; it * s at your disposal. * I gape at him. Of course he has a jet , and I have to resist my body * s natural inclination to roll my eyes at him. I want to laugh. But I don * t , as I can * t read his mood . * We * ve already made serious misuse of your company * s aviation fleet. I wouldn * t want to do it again. * * It * s my company , it * s my jet. * He sounds almost wounded. Oh , boys and their toys ! * Thank you for the offer. But I * d be happier taking a scheduled flight. * He looks like he wants to argue further but decides against it . * As you wish. * He sighs. * Do you have much preparation to do for your interview ? * * No. * * Good. You * re still not going to tell me which publishing houses ? * * No. * His lips curl up in a reluctant smile. * I am a man of means , Miss Steele. * * I am fully aware of that , Mr. Grey. Are you going to track my phone ? * I ask innocently . * Actually , I * ll be quite busy" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_287: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "moment , which reminds me . * Incidentally , will you please stop winding Christian up ? Your comment about Jos * at dinner yesterday was out of line. He * s a jealous guy. It doesn * t do any good , you know. * * Look , if he wasn * t Elliot * s brother I * d have said a lot worse. He * s a real control freak. I don * t know how you stand it. I was trying to make him jealous * give him a little help with his commitment issues. * She holds her hands up defensively. * But if you don * t want me to interfere , I won * t , * she says hastily at my scowl . * Good. Life with Christian is complicated enough , trust me. * Jeez , I sound like him . * Ana. * She pauses , staring at me. * You * re okay , aren * t you ? You * re not running to your mother * s to escape ? * I flush. * No , Kate. It was you who said I needed a break. * She closes the distance between us and takes my hands * a most un-Kate thing to do. Oh no * tears threaten . * You * re just , I don * t know * different. I hope you * re okay , and whatever issues you * re having with Mr. Moneybags , you can talk to me. And I will try not to wind him up , though frankly it * s like shooting fish in a barrel with him. Look , Ana , if something * s wrong , tell me , I won * t judge. I * ll try to understand. * I blink back tears. * Oh , Kate. * I hug her. * I think I * ve really fallen for him. * * Ana , anyone can see that. And he * s fallen for you. He * s mad about you. Won * t take his eyes off you. * I laugh uncertainly. * Do you think so ? * * Hasn * t he told you ? * * Not in so many words. * * Have you told him ? * * Not in so many words. * I shrug apologetically . * Ana ! Someone has to make the first move , otherwise you * ll never get anywhere. * What * tell him how I feel ? * I * m just afraid I * ll frighten him away. * * And how do you know he * s not feeling the same ? * * Christian , afraid ? I can * t imagine him being frightened of anything. * But as I say the words , I imagine him as a small child. Maybe fear was all he knew then. Sorrow grips and squeezes my" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_298: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "to accept whatever I spend on you with no argument. Incidentally , tell your mother , too . I don * t know how to answer your comment about feeling like a whore. I know that * s not what you * ve written , but it * s what you imply. I don * t know what I can say or do to eradicate these feelings. I * d like you to have the best of everything. I work exceptionally hard so I can spend my money as I see fit. I could buy you your heart * s desire , Anastasia , and I want to. Call it redistribution of wealth , if you will. Or simply know that I would not , could not ever think of you in the way you described , and I * m angry that * s how you perceive yourself. For such a bright , witty , beautiful young woman , you have some real self-esteem issues , and I have half a mind to make an appointment for you with Dr. Flynn . I apologize for frightening you. I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent. Do you really think I * d let you travel in the hold ? I offered you my private jet , for heaven * s sake. Yes , it was a joke , a poor one obviously. However , the fact is the thought of you bound and gagged turns me on ( this is not a joke * it * s true ) . I can lose the crate * crates do nothing for me. I know you have issues with gagging * we * ve talked about that * and if/when I do gag you , we * ll discuss it. What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power. That * s you. I * ll repeat this * you are the one with all the power. Not I. In the boathouse you said no. I can * t touch you if you say no * that * s why we have an agreement * what you will and won * t do. If we try things and you don * t like them , we can revise the agreement. It * s up to you * not me. And if you don * t want to be bound and gagged in a crate , then it won * t happen . I want to share my lifestyle with you. I have never wanted anything so much. Frankly , I * m in awe of you , that one so innocent would be willing to try. That says more to me than you could ever know. You fail to see I am caught in your spell , too , even though I have told you this countless times. I don * t want to lose you. I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_30: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* There. Now can you join me for coffee ? * Grey smiles as if it * s a done deal . I frown . * Um * Mr. Grey , er * this really * look , Taylor doesn * t have to drive them home. * I flash a brief look at Taylor , who remains stoically impassive. * I * ll swap vehicles with Kate , if you give me a moment. * Grey smiles a dazzling , unguarded , natural , all-teeth-showing , glorious smile. Oh my * He opens the door of the suite so I can go in. I scoot around him to reenter the room , finding Katherine in deep discussion with Jos * . * Ana , I think he definitely likes you , * she says with no preamble whatsoever. Jos * glares at me with disapproval. * But I don * t trust him , * she adds. I raise my hand up in the hope that she * ll stop talking. By some miracle , she does . * Kate , if you take Wanda , can I take your car ? * * Why ? * * Christian Grey has asked me to go for coffee with him. * Her mouth pops open. Speechless Kate ! I savor the moment. She grabs me by my arm and drags me into the bedroom that * s off the living area of the suite . * Ana , there * s something about him. * Her tone is full of warning. * He * s gorgeous , I agree , but I think he * s dangerous. Especially for someone like you. * * What do you mean , someone like me ? * I demand , affronted . * An innocent like you , Ana. You know what I mean , * she says a little irritated. I flush . * Kate , it * s just coffee. I * m starting my exams this week , and I need to study , so I won * t be long. * She purses her lips as if considering my request. Finally , she fishes her car keys out of her pocket and hands them to me. I hand her mine . * I * ll see you later. Don * t be long , or I * ll send out search and rescue. * * Thanks. * I hug her . I emerge from the suite to find Christian Grey waiting , leaning up against the wall , looking like a male model in a pose for some glossy high-end magazine . * Okay , let * s do coffee , * I murmur , flushing a beet red . He grins . * After you , Miss Steele. * He stands up straight , holding his hand out for me to go first. I make my way down the corridor , my knees shaky , my stomach full" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_300: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Make our agreement a year ? I have the power ! Jeez , I * m going to have to think about that. Take him literally , that * s what my mother says. He doesn * t want to lose me. He * s said that twice ! He wants to make this work , too. Oh , Christian , so do I ! He * s going to try to stay away ! Does this mean he might fail to stay away ? Suddenly , I hope so. I want to see him. We * ve been apart less than twenty-four hours , and knowing that I can * t see him for four days , I realize how much I miss him. How much I love him . * Ana , honey. * The voice is soft and warm , full of love and sweet memories of times gone by . A gentle hand brushes my face. My mom wakes me , and I * m wrapped around my laptop , hugging it to me . * Ana , sweetheart , * she continues in her soft , singsong voice while I surface from sleep , blinking in the pale pink light of dusk . * Hi , Mom. * I stretch out and smile . * We * re going out for dinner in thirty minutes. You still want to come ? * she asks kindly . * Oh yes , Mom , of course. * I try very hard but fail to stifle my yawn . * Now that * s an impressive piece of technology. * She points to my laptop . Oh , crap . * Oh * this ? * I strive for casual , surprised nonchalance . Will Mom notice ? She seems to have grown more astute since I acquired a * boyfriend. * * Christian lent it to me. I think I could pilot the space shuttle with it , but I just use it for e-mails and Internet access. * Really , it * s nothing. Eyeing me suspiciously , she sits down on the bed and tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear . * Has he e-mailed you ? * Oh , double crap . * Yeah. * My nonchalance is wearing thin , and I flush . * Perhaps he * s missing you , huh ? * * I hope so , Mom. * * What does he say ? * Oh , triple crap. I frantically try to think of something acceptable from that e-mail I can tell my mother. I * m sure she doesn * t want to hear about Doms and bondage and gagging , but then I can * t tell her because there * s the NDA . * He * s told me to enjoy myself but not too much. * * Sounds reasonable. I * ll leave you to get ready , honey. *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_311: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "standby at Hilton Head. I can go. * He * s angry with me * no . * No * don * t go. Please. I * m thrilled you * re here. I * m just trying to make you understand. I * m angry that as soon as I left , you had dinner with her. Think about how you are when I get anywhere near Jos * . Jos * is a good friend. I have never had a sexual relationship with him. Whereas you and her * * I trail off , unwilling to take that thought further . * You * re jealous ? * He stares at me , dumbfounded , and his eyes soften slightly , warming . * Yes , and angry about what she did to you. * * Anastasia , she helped me. That * s all I * ll say about that. And as for your jealousy , put yourself in my shoes. I haven * t had to justify my actions to anyone in the last seven years. Not one person. I do as I wish , Anastasia. I like my autonomy. I didn * t go and see Mrs. Robinson to upset you. I went because every now and then we have dinner. She * s a friend and a business partner. * Business partner ? Holy crap. This is news . He gazes at me , assessing my expression. * Yes , we * re business partners. The sex is over between us. It has been for years. * * Why did your relationship end ? * His mouth narrows and his eyes gleam. * Her husband found out. * Holy shit ! * Can we talk about this some other time * somewhere more private ? * he growls . * I don * t think you * ll ever convince me that she * s not some kind of pedophile. * * I don * t think of her that way. I never have. Now that * s enough ! * he snaps . * Did you love her ? * * How are you two getting on ? * My mother has returned , unseen by either of us . I plaster a fake smile on my face as both Christian and I lean back hastily * guiltily. She gazes at me . * Fine , Mom. * Christian sips his drink , watching me closely , his expression guarded. What is he thinking ? Did he love her ? I think if he did , I will lose it , big time . * Well , ladies , I shall leave you to your evening. * No * no * he can * t leave me hanging like this . * Please , put these drinks on my tab , room number 612. I * ll call you in the morning , Anastasia. Until tomorrow , Carla. * * Oh , it" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_312: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* s so nice to hear someone use your full name. * * Beautiful name for a beautiful girl , * Christian murmurs , shaking her outstretched hand , and she actually simpers . Oh , Mom * et tu , Brute ? I stand , gazing up at him , imploring him to answer my question , and he kisses my cheek chastely . * Laters , baby , * he whispers in my ear. Then he * s gone . Damned control freak bastard. My anger returns in full force. I slump into my chair and turn to face my mother . * Well , strike me down with a feather , Ana. He * s a catch. I don * t know what * s going on between you two though. I think you need to talk to each other. Phew * the UST in here , it * s unbearable. * She fans herself theatrically . * MOM ! * * Go talk to him. * * I can * t. I came here to see you. * * Ana , you came here because you * re confused about that boy. It * s obvious you two are crazy about each other. You need to talk to him. He * s just flown three-thousand-odd miles to see you , for heaven * s sake. And you know how awful it is to fly. * I flush. I haven * t told her about his private plane . * What ? * she snaps . * He has his own plane , * I mumble , embarrassed , * and it * s only two and a half thousand miles , Mom. * Why am I embarrassed ? Her eyebrows shoot up . * Wow , * she mutters. * Ana , there * s something going on between you two. I * ve been trying to fathom it since you arrived here. But the only way you are going to sort the problem , whatever it is , is to talk it through with him. You can do all the thinking you like * but until you actually talk , you * re not going to get anywhere. * I frown at my mother . * Ana , honey , you * ve always had a tendency to overanalyze everything. Go with your gut. What does that tell you , sweetheart ? * I stare at my fingers . * I think I * m in love with him , * I mutter . * I know darling. And he with you. * * No ! * * Yes , Ana. Hell * what do you need ? A neon sign flashing on his forehead ? * I gape at her and tears prick the corner of my eyes . * Ana , darling. Don * t cry. * * I don * t think he loves me. * * I don * t care" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_314: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "He hangs up and stares at me , his face unreadable , and the silence stretches between us . Okay * my turn to talk . * You didn * t answer my question , * I murmur . * No. I didn * t , * he says quietly , his gray eyes wide and cautious . * No , you didn * t answer my question , or no , you didn * t love her ? * He folds his arms and leans against the wall , and a small smile plays upon his lips . * What are you doing here , Anastasia ? * * I * ve just told you. * He takes a deep breath . * No. I didn * t love her. * He frowns at me , amused yet puzzled . I can * t believe I * m holding my breath. I sag like an old cloth sack as I release it. Well , thank heavens for that. How would I feel if he actually loved the witch ? * You * re quite the green-eyed goddess , Anastasia. Who would have thought ? * * Are you making fun of me , Mr. Grey ? * * I wouldn * t dare. * He shakes his head solemnly , but he has a wicked gleam in his eye . * Oh , I think you would , and I think you do * often. * He smirks as I give him back the words he * s said to me before. His eyes darken . * Please stop biting your lip. You * re in my room , I haven * t set eyes on you for nearly three days , and I * ve flown a long way to see you. * His tone has changed to soft , sensual . His BlackBerry buzzes , distracting us both , and he switches it off without glancing to see who it is. My breath hitches. I know where this is going * but we * re supposed to talk. He takes a step toward me wearing his sexy predatory look . * I want you , Anastasia. Now. And you want me. That * s why you * re here. * * I really did want to know , * I whisper as a defense . * Well , now that you do , are you coming or going ? * I flush as he comes to a halt in front of me . * Coming , * I murmur , staring anxiously up at him . * Oh , I hope so. * He gazes down at me. * You were so mad at me , * he breathes . * Yes. * * I don * t remember anyone but my family ever being mad at me. I like it. * He runs the tips of fingers down my cheek. Oh my , his proximity ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_320: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "following. It * s very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you * re not perfect. * Oh no. My mouth dries as I digest his words. He gazes at me , his expression unfathomable. He * s not going to tell me any more. How frustrating. Inside , I * m reeling * he sounds so full of self-loathing . And Mrs. Robinson loved him. Holy shit * does she still ? I feel like I * ve been kicked in the stomach . * Does she still love you ? * * I don * t think so , not like that. * He frowns as if he hasn * t thought about the idea. * I keep telling you it was a long time ago. It * s in the past. I couldn * t change it even if I wanted to , which I don * t. She saved me from myself. * He * s exasperated and runs a wet hand through his hair. * I * ve never discussed this with anyone. * He pauses. * Except Dr. Flynn , of course. And the only reason I * m talking about this now , to you , is because I want you to trust me. * * I do trust you , but I do want to know you better , and whenever I try to talk to you , you distract me. There * s so much I want to know. * * Oh , for pity * s sake , Anastasia. What do you want to know ? What do I have to do ? * His eyes blaze , and though he doesn * t raise his voice , I know he * s trying to rein in his temper . I glance down at my hands , clear beneath the water as the bubbles have started to disperse . * I * m just trying to understand ; you * re such an enigma. Unlike anyone I * ve met before. I * m glad you * re telling me what I want to know. * Jeez * maybe it * s the Cosmopolitans making me brave , but suddenly I can not bear the distance between us. I move through the water to his side and lean against him so we * re touching , skin to skin. He tenses and eyes me warily , as if I might bite. Well , that * s a turnaround. My inner goddess gazes at him in quiet , surprised speculation . * Please don * t be angry with me , * I whisper . * I am not angry with you , Anastasia. I * m just not used to this kind of talking * this probing. I only have this with Dr. Flynn and with * * He stops and frowns . * With her. Mrs. Robinson. You talk to her ? * I prompt ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_322: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "going to get angry every time we have a discussion. I shake my head. Perhaps that * s how he feels about my questions ; he * s not used to being challenged. The thought is revelatory , distracting , and unnerving . * I was going to respond. But now you * re here. * * You * d rather I wasn * t ? * he breathes , his expression impassive again . * No , I * m pleased , * I murmur . * Good. * He gives me a genuine , relieved smile. * I * m pleased I * m here , too * in spite of your interrogation. So , while it * s acceptable to grill me , you think you can claim some kind of diplomatic immunity just because I * ve flown all this way to see you ? I * m not buying it , Miss Steele. I want to know how you feel. * Oh no * * I told you. I am pleased you * re here. Thank you for coming all this way , * I say feebly . * It * s my pleasure. * His eyes shine as he leans down and kisses me gently. I feel myself responding automatically. The water is still warm , the bathroom still steamy. He stops and pulls back , gazing down at me . * No. I think I want some answers first before we do any more. * More ? There * s that word again. And he wants answers * answers to what ? I don * t have a secret past * I don * t have a harrowing childhood. What could he possibly want to know about me that he doesn * t already know ? I sigh , resigned. * What do you want to know ? * * Well , how you feel about our would-be arrangement , for starters. * I blink at him. Truth or dare time * my subconscious and inner goddess glance nervously at each other. Hell , let * s go for truth . * I don * t think I can do it for an extended period of time. A whole weekend being someone I * m not. * I flush and stare at my hands . He tips my chin up , and he * s smirking at me , amused . * No , I don * t think you could , either. * And part of me feels slightly affronted and challenged. * Are you laughing at me ? * * Yes , but in a good way , * he says with a small smile . He leans down and kisses me softly , briefly . * You * re not a great submissive , * he breathes as he holds my chin , his eyes dancing with humor . I stare at him , shocked , then I burst out" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_323: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "laughing * and he joins me . * Maybe I don * t have a good teacher. * He snorts. * Maybe. Perhaps I should be stricter with you. * He cocks his head to one side and gives me an artful smile . I swallow. Jeez , no. But at the same time , my muscles clench deliciously deep inside. It is his way of showing that he cares. Perhaps the only way he can show he cares * I realize that. He * s staring at me , gauging my reaction . * Was it that bad when I spanked you the first time ? * I gaze back at him , blinking. Was it that bad ? I remember feeling confused by my reaction. It hurt , but not that much in retrospect. He * s said over and over again it * s more in my head. And the second time * Well , that was good * hot . * No , not really , * I whisper . * It * s more the idea of it ? * he prompts . * I suppose. Feeling pleasure , when one isn * t supposed to. * * I remember feeling the same. Takes a while to get your head around it. * Holy hell. This was when he was a kid . * You can always use the safeword , Anastasia. Don * t forget that. And , as long as you follow the rules , which fulfill a deep need in me for control and to keep you safe , then perhaps we can find a way forward. * * Why do you need to control me ? * * Because it satisfies a need in me that wasn * t met in my formative years. * * So it * s a form of therapy ? * * I * ve not thought of it like that , but yes , I suppose it is. * This I can understand. This will help . * But , here * s the thing * one moment you say * don * t defy me , * the next you say you like to be challenged. That * s a very fine line to tread successfully. * He gazes at me for a moment , then frowns . * I can see that. But you seem to be doing fine so far. * * But at what personal cost ? I * m tied up in knots here. * * I like you tied up in knots. * He smirks . * That * s not what I meant ! * I splash him in exasperation . He gazes down at me , arching an eyebrow . * Did you just splash me ? * * Yes. * Holy shit * that look . * Oh , Miss Steele. * He grabs me and pulls me onto his lap , sloshing water all over" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_326: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "give you a number. I didn * t put notches in the bedpost or anything. * * What are we talking * tens , hundreds * thousands ? * My eyes grow wilder as the numbers get larger . * Tens. We * re in the tens , for pity * s sake. * * All submissives ? * * Yes. * * Stop grinning at me , * I scold him mildly , trying and failing to keep a straight face . * I can * t. You * re funny. * * Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha ? * * A bit of both I think. * His words mirror mine . * That * s damned cheeky , coming from you. * He leans across and kisses the tip of my nose. * This will shock you , Anastasia. Ready ? * I nod , wide-eyed , still with the stupid grin on my face . * All submissives in training , when I was training. There are places in and around Seattle that one can go and practice. Learn to do what I do , * he says . What ? * Oh. * I blink at him . * Yep , I * ve paid for sex , Anastasia. * * That * s nothing to be proud of , * I mutter haughtily. * And you * re right * I am deeply shocked. And cross that I can * t shock you. * * You wore my underwear. * * Did that shock you ? * * Yes. * My inner goddess pole-vaults over the fifteen-foot bar . * You didn * t wear your panties to meet my parents. * * Did that shock you ? * * Yes. * Jeez , the bar * s moved to sixteen feet . * It seems I can only shock you in the underwear department. * * You told me you were a virgin. That * s the biggest shock I * ve ever had. * * Yes , your face was a picture , a Kodak moment. * I giggle . * You let me work you over with a riding crop. * * Did that shock you ? * * Yep. * I grin. * Well , I may let you do it again. * * Oh , I do hope so , Miss Steele. This weekend ? * * Okay , * I agree shyly . * Okay ? * * Yes. I * ll go to the Red Room of Pain again. * * You say my name. * * That shocks you ? * * The fact that I like it shocks me. * * Christian. * He grins. * I want to do something tomorrow. * His eyes glow with excitement . * What ? * * A surprise. For you. * His voice is low and soft . I raise an eyebrow and stifle a yawn at" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_33: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "teaspoon. As I place the used teabag back on the side plate , he cocks his head , gazing quizzically at me . * I like my tea black and weak , * I mutter as an explanation . * I see. Is he your boyfriend ? * Whoa * What ? * Who ? * * The photographer. Jos * Rodriguez. * I laugh , nervous but curious. What gave him that impression ? * No. Jos * * s a good friend of mine , that * s all. Why did you think he was my boyfriend ? * * The way you smiled at him , and he at you. * His gaze holds mine. He * s so unnerving. I want to look away but I * m caught * spellbound . * He * s more like family , * I whisper . Grey nods , seemingly satisfied with my response , and glances down at his blueberry muffin. His long fingers deftly peel back the paper , and I watch , fascinated . * Do you want some ? * he asks , and that amused , secret smile is back . * No thanks. * I frown and stare down at my hands again . * And the boy I met yesterday , at the store. He * s not your boyfriend ? * * No. Paul * s just a friend. I told you yesterday. * Oh , this is getting silly. * Why do you ask ? * * You seem nervous around men. * Holy crap , that * s personal. I * m just nervous around you , Grey . * I find you intimidating. * I flush scarlet , but mentally pat myself on the back for my candor , and gaze at my hands again. I hear his sharp intake of breath . * You should find me intimidating. * He nods. * You * re very honest. Please don * t look down. I like to see your face. * Oh. I glance at him , and he gives me an encouraging but wry smile . * It gives me some sort of clue what you might be thinking , * he breathes. * You * re a mystery , Miss Steele. * Mysterious ? Me ? * There * s nothing mysterious about me. * * I think you * re very self-contained , * he murmurs . Am I ? Wow * how am I managing that ? This is bewildering. Me , self-contained ? No way . * Except when you blush , of course , which is often. I just wish I knew what you were blushing about. * He pops a small piece of muffin into his mouth and starts to chew it slowly , not taking his eyes off me. And as if on cue , I blush. Crap ! * Do you always make such personal observations ? *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_330: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "I sit and face him , drinking in his beauty. Will I ever get enough of this man ? AS WE LEAVE THE room , Christian throws a sweatshirt at me . * You * ll need this. * I look at him , puzzled . * Trust me. * He grins , leans over , and kisses me quickly on the lips , then grabs my hand and we head out . Outside , in the relative cool of the half light of predawn , the valet hands Christian a set of keys to a flashy sports car with a soft top. I raise an eyebrow at Christian , who smirks back at me . * You know , sometimes it * s great being me , * he says with a conspiratorial but smug grin that I simply can * t help emulating. He * s so lovable when he * s playful and carefree. He opens my car door with an exaggerated bow , and in I climb. He is in such a good mood . * Where are we going ? * * You * ll see. * He grins as he slips the car into drive , and we head out on Savannah Parkway. He programs the GPS and presses a switch on the steering wheel , and a classical orchestral piece fills the car . * What * s this ? * I ask as the sweet , sweet sound of a hundred violin strings assails us . * It * s from La Traviata. An opera by Verdi. * Oh , my * it * s lovely . * La Traviata ? I * ve heard of that. I can * t think where. What does it mean ? * Christian glances at me and smirks . * Well , literally , * the woman led astray. * It * s based on Alexandre Dumas * s book , La Dame aux Cam * lias. * * Ah. I * ve read it. * * I thought you might * ve. * * The doomed courtesan. * I squirm uncomfortably in the plush leather seat. Is he trying to tell me something ? * Hmm , it * s a depressing story , * I mutter . * Too depressing ? Do you want to choose some music ? This is on my iPod. * Christian has that secret smile again . I can * t see his iPod anywhere. He taps the screen on the console between us , and behold * there is a playlist . * You choose. * His lips twitch up into a smile , and I know it * s a challenge . Christian Grey * s iPod , this should be interesting. I scroll through the touch screen and find the perfect song. I press * play. * I wouldn * t have figured him for a Britney fan. The club-mix , techno beat assaults us" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_332: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "all foreign sounding. A vision of a glorious , pale-skinned vamp with raven hair and ruby-red lips comes to mind , and I know that she * s beautiful. I must not dwell. I must not dwell . * What happened to the four ? * I ask to distract myself . * So inquisitive , so eager for information , Miss Steele , * he scolds playfully . * Oh , Mr. When Is Your Period Due ? * * Anastasia * a man needs to know these things. * * Does he ? * * I do. * * Why ? * * Because I don * t want you to get pregnant. * * Neither do I ! Well , not for a few years yet. * Christian blinks , startled , then visibly relaxes. Okay. Christian doesn * t want children. Now or never ? I am reeling from his sudden , unprecedented attack of candor. Perhaps it * s the early morning ? Something in the Georgia water ? The Georgia air ? What else do I want to know ? Carpe diem . * So the other four , what happened ? * I ask . * One met someone else. The other three wanted * more. I wasn * t in the market for more then. * * And the others ? * I press . He glances at me briefly and just shakes his head . * Just didn * t work out. * Whoa , a bucketload of information to process. I glance in the side mirror of the car , and I notice the soft swell of pink and aquamarine in the sky behind the car. Dawn is following us . * Where are we headed ? * I ask , perplexed , gazing out at Interstate 95. We * re heading south , that * s all I know . * An airfield. * * We * re not going back to Seattle , are we ? * I gasp , alarmed. I haven * t said good-bye to my mom. Jeez , she * s expecting us for dinner . He laughs. * No , Anastasia , we * re going to indulge in my second favorite pastime. * * Second ? * I frown at him . * Yep. I told you my favorite this morning. * I glance at his glorious profile , frowning , racking my brain . * Indulging in you , Miss Steele. That * s got to be top of my list. Any way I can get you. * Oh . * Well , that * s quite high up on my list of diverting , kinky priorities , too , * I mutter , blushing . * I * m pleased to hear it , * he mutters dryly . * So , airfield ? * He grins at me. * Soaring. * The term rings a vague bell. He *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_34: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* I hadn * t realized I was. Have I offended you ? * He sounds surprised . * No , * I answer truthfully . * Good. * * But you * re very high-handed. * He raises his eyebrows and , if I * m not mistaken , flushes slightly , too . * I * m used to getting my own way , Anastasia , * he murmurs. * In all things. * * I don * t doubt it. Why haven * t you asked me to call you by your first name ? * I * m surprised by my audacity. Why has this conversation become so serious ? This isn * t going the way I thought it was going to go. I can * t believe I * m feeling so antagonistic toward him. It * s like he * s trying to warn me off . * The only people who use my given name are my family and a few close friends. That * s the way I like it. * Oh. He still hasn * t said , * Call me Christian. * He is a control freak , there * s no other explanation , and part of me is thinking maybe it would have been better if Kate had interviewed him. Two control freaks together. Plus , of course , she * s almost blond * well , strawberry blond * like all the women in his office. And she * s beautiful , my subconscious reminds me. I don * t like the idea of Christian and Kate. I take a sip of my tea , and Grey eats another small piece of his muffin . * Are you an only child ? * he asks . Whoa * he keeps changing direction . * Yes. * * Tell me about your parents. * Why does he want to know this ? It * s so dull . * My mom lives in Georgia with her new husband , Bob. My stepdad lives in Montesano. * * Your father ? * * My father died when I was a baby. * * I * m sorry , * he mutters , and a fleeting , troubled look crosses his face . * I don * t remember him. * * And your mother remarried ? * I snort . * You could say that. * He frowns at me . * You * re not giving much away , are you ? * he says dryly , rubbing his chin as if in deep thought . * Neither are you. * * You * ve interviewed me once already , and I can recollect some quite probing questions then. * He smirks at me . Holy shit. He * s remembering the * gay * question. Once again , I * m mortified. In years to come , I know I * ll need intensive therapy to" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_340: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", and he looks at me hungrily. Jeez , my inner goddess swoons. Am I up to this game ? Leandra looks from me to him and back again. She * s practically the same color as her shiny red hair . * Shall I give you folks another minute to decide ? * * No. We know what we want. * Christian * s mouth twitches with a small , sexy smile . * We * ll have two portions of the original buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup and bacon on the side , two glasses of orange juice , one black coffee with skim milk , and one English breakfast tea , if you have it , * says Christian , not taking his eyes off me . * Thank you , sir. Will that be all ? * Leandra whispers , looking anywhere but at the two of us. We both turn to stare at her , and she flushes crimson again and scuttles away . * You know , it * s really not fair. * I glance down at the Formica tabletop , tracing a pattern on it with my index finger , trying to sound nonchalant . * What * s not fair ? * * How you disarm people. Women. Me. * * Do I disarm you ? * I snort. * All the time. * * It * s just looks , Anastasia , * he says mildly . * No , Christian , it * s much more than that. * His brow creases. * You disarm me totally , Miss Steele. Your innocence. It cuts through all the crap. * * Is that why you * ve changed your mind ? * * Changed my mind ? * * Yes * about * er * us ? * He strokes his chin thoughtfully with his long , skilled fingers. * I don * t think I * ve changed my mind per se. We just need to redefine our parameters , redraw our battle lines , if you will. We can make this work , I * m sure. I want you submissive in my playroom. I will punish you if you digress from the rules. Other than that * well , I think it * s all up for discussion. Those are my requirements , Miss Steele. What say you to that ? * * So I get to sleep with you ? In your bed ? * * Is that what you want ? * * Yes. * * I agree then. Besides , I sleep very well when you * re in my bed. I had no idea. * His brow creases as his voice fades . * I was frightened you * d leave me if I didn * t agree to all of it , * I whisper . * I * m not going anywhere , Anastasia. Besides * * He trails off ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_341: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "and after some thought , he adds , * We * re following your advice , your definition : compromise. You e-mailed it to me. And so far , it * s working for me. * * I love that you want more , * I murmur shyly . * I know. * * How do you know ? * * Trust me. I just do. * He smirks at me. He * s hiding something. What ? At that moment , Leandra arrives with breakfast and our conversation ceases. My stomach rumbles , reminding me how ravenous I am. Christian watches with annoying approval as I devour everything on my plate . * Can I treat you ? * I ask Christian . * Treat me how ? * * Pay for this meal. * Christian snorts . * I don * t think so , * he scoffs . * Please. I want to. * He frowns at me . * Are you trying to completely emasculate me ? * * This is probably the only place that I * ll be able to afford to pay. * * Anastasia , I appreciate the thought. I do. But no. * I purse my lips . * Don * t scowl , * he threatens , his eyes glinting ominously . OF COURSE HE DOESN * T ask me for my mother * s address. He knows it already , stalker that he is. When he pulls up outside the house , I don * t comment. What * s the point ? * Do you want to come in ? * I ask shyly . * I need to work , Anastasia , but I * ll be back this evening. What time ? * I ignore the unwelcome stab of disappointment. Why do I want to spend every single minute with this controlling sex god ? Oh yes , I * ve fallen in love with him , and he can fly . * Thank you * for the more. * * My pleasure , Anastasia. * He kisses me , and I inhale his sexy Christian smell . * I * ll see you later. * * Try to stop me , * he whispers . I wave good-bye as he drives off into the Georgia sunshine. I * m still wearing his sweatshirt and his underwear , and I * m too warm . In the kitchen , my mom is in a complete flap. It * s not every day she has to entertain a multi-zillionaire , and it * s stressing her out . * How are you , darling ? * she asks , and I flush because she must know what I was doing last night . * I * m good. Christian took me gliding this morning. * I hope the new information will distract her . * Gliding ? As in a small plane with no engine ? That" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_36: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Why doesn * t he want to talk about his family ? Is it because he * s adopted ? * It * s beautiful. Have you been ? * he asks , his irritation forgotten . * I * ve never left mainland USA. * So now we * re back to banalities. What is he hiding ? * Would you like to go ? * * To Paris ? * I squeak. This has thrown me * who wouldn * t want to go to Paris ? * Of course , * I concede. * But it * s England that I * d really like to visit. * He cocks his head to one side , running his index finger across his lower lip * oh my . * Because ? * I blink rapidly. Concentrate , Steele . * It * s the home of Shakespeare , Austen , the Bront * sisters , Thomas Hardy. I * d like to see the places that inspired those people to write such wonderful books. * All this talk of literary greats reminds me that I should be studying. I glance at my watch. * I * d better go. I have to study. * * For your exams ? * * Yes. They start Tuesday. * * Where * s Miss Kavanagh * s car ? * * In the hotel parking lot. * * I * ll walk you back. * * Thank you for the tea , Mr. Grey. * He smiles his odd I * ve-got-a-whopping-big-secret smile . * You * re welcome , Anastasia. It * s my pleasure. Come , * he commands , and holds his hand out to me. I take it , bemused , and follow him out of the coffee shop . We stroll back to the hotel , and I * d like to say it * s in companionable silence. He at least looks his usual calm , collected self. As for me , I * m desperately trying to gauge how our little coffee morning has gone. I feel like I * ve been interviewed for a job , but I * m not sure what for . * Do you always wear jeans ? * he asks out of the blue . * Mostly. * He nods. We * re back at the intersection , across the road from the hotel. My mind is reeling. What an odd question * And I * m aware that our time together is limited. This is it. This was it , and I * ve completely blown it , I know. Perhaps he has someone . * Do you have a girlfriend ? * I blurt out. Holy crap * I just said that out loud ? His lips quirk up in a half smile , and he peers down at me . * No , Anastasia. I don * t do the girlfriend thing , *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_370: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "game. * His eyes blaze , and wild anticipation emanates from him . * I * m quite fast , you know. * I try for nonchalance . * So am I. * He * s stalking me in his own kitchen . * Are you going to come quietly ? * he asks . * Do I ever ? * * Miss Steele , what do you mean ? * He smirks. * It * ll be worse for you if I have to come and get you. * * That * s only if you catch me , Christian. And right now , I have no intention of letting you catch me. * * Anastasia , you may fall and hurt yourself. Which will put you in direct contravention of rule number seven , now six. * * I have been in danger since I met you , Mr. Grey , rules or no rules. * * Yes , you have. * He pauses , and his brow furrows . Suddenly , he lunges for me , making me squeal and run for the dining room table. I manage to escape , putting the table between us. My heart is pounding and adrenaline has spiked through my body * boy * this is thrilling. I * m a child again , though that * s not right. I watch him carefully as he paces deliberately toward me. I inch away . * You certainly know how to distract a man , Anastasia. * * We aim to please , Mr. Grey. Distract you from what ? * * Life. The universe. * He waves one of his hands vaguely . * You did seem very preoccupied as you were playing. * He stops and folds his arms , his expression amused . * We can do this all day , baby , but I will get you , and it will just be worse for you when I do. * * No , you won * t. * I must not be overconfident. I repeat this as a mantra. My subconscious has found her Nikes , and she * s on the starting blocks . * Anyone would think you didn * t want me to catch you. * * I don * t. That * s the point. I feel about punishment the way you feel about my touching you. * His entire demeanor changes in a nanosecond. Gone is playful Christian , and he stands staring at me as if I * ve slapped him. He * s ashen . * That * s how you feel ? * he whispers . Those four words , and the way he utters them , speak volumes. Oh no. They tell me so much more about him and how he feels. They tell me about his fear and loathing. I frown. No , I don * t feel that bad. No way. Do I ? * No. It" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_371: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "doesn * t affect me quite as much as that , but it gives you an idea , * I murmur , staring anxiously at him . * Oh , * he says . Crap. He looks completely and utterly lost , like I * ve pulled the rug from under his feet . Taking a deep breath , I move around the table until I am standing in front of him , gazing into his apprehensive eyes . * You hate it that much ? * he breathes , his eyes filled with horror . * Well * no , * I reassure him. Jeez * that * s how he feels about people touching him ? * No. I feel ambivalent about it. I don * t like it , but I don * t hate it. * * But last night , in the playroom , you * * * I do it for you , Christian , because you need it. I don * t. You didn * t hurt me last night. That was in a different context , and I can rationalize that internally , and I trust you. But when you want to punish me , I worry that you * ll hurt me. * His eyes darken like a turbulent storm. Time moves and expands and slips away before he answers softly . * I want to hurt you. But not beyond anything that you couldn * t take. * Fuck ! * Why ? * He runs his hand through his hair , and he shrugs . * I just need it. * He pauses , gazing at me with anguish , and he closes his eyes and shakes his head. * I can * t tell you , * he whispers . * Can * t or won * t ? * * Won * t. * * So you know why. * * Yes. * * But you won * t tell me. * * If I do , you will run screaming from this room , and you * ll never want to return. * He stares at me warily. * I can * t risk that , Anastasia. * * You want me to stay. * * More than you know. I couldn * t bear to lose you. * Oh my . He gazes down at me , and suddenly , he pulls me into his arms and he * s kissing me , kissing me passionately. It takes me completely by surprise , and I sense his panic and desperate need in his kiss . * Don * t leave me. You said you wouldn * t leave me , and you begged me not to leave you , in your sleep , * he murmurs against my lips . Oh * my nocturnal confessions . * I don * t want to go. * And my heart clenches , turning itself inside out ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_374: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* no * * And I find myself struggling out of his grasp , pushing him away. Fighting him . * Don * t touch me ! * I hiss. I straighten and stare at him , and he * s watching me as if I might bolt , eyes wide , bemused. I dash the tears angrily out of my eyes with the backs of my hands , glaring at him . * This is what you really like ? Me , like this ? * I use the sleeve of the bathrobe to wipe my nose . He gazes at me warily . * Well , you are one fucked-up son of a bitch. * * Ana , * he pleads , shocked . * Don * t you dare * Ana * me ! You need to sort your shit out , Grey ! * And with that , I turn stiffly , and I walk out of the playroom , closing the door quietly behind me . I clasp the door handle behind me and briefly lean back against the door. Where to go ? Do I run ? Do I stay ? I am so mad , scalding tears spill down my cheeks , and I brush them furiously aside. I just want to curl up. Curl up and recuperate in some way. Heal my shattered faith. How could I have been so stupid ? Of course it hurts . Tentatively , I rub my backside. Aah ! It * s sore. Where to go ? Not his room. My room , or the room that will be mine , no , is mine * was mine. This is why he wanted me to keep it. He knew I would need distance from him . I launch myself stiffly in that direction , conscious that Christian may follow me. It is still dark in the bedroom , dawn only a whisper in the skyline. I climb awkwardly into bed , careful not to sit on my aching and tender backside. I keep the bathrobe on , wrapping it around me , and curl up and really let go * sobbing hard into my pillow . What was I thinking ? Why did I let him do that to me ? I wanted the dark , to explore how bad it could be * but it * s too dark for me. I can not do this. Yet , this is what he does ; this is how he gets his kicks . What a monumental wake-up call. And to be fair to him , he warned me and warned me , time and again. He * s not normal. He has needs that I can not fulfill. I realize that now. I don * t want him to hit me like that again , ever. I think of the couple of times he has hit me , and how easy he was on me by" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_376: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "after a long while . I turn very slowly in his arms so I can face him. I am resting my head on his arm. His eyes are flinty gray and guarded . I gaze at his beautiful face. He * s giving nothing away , but he keeps his eyes on mine , hardly blinking. Oh , he is so breathtakingly good-looking. In such a short time , he * s become so , so dear to me. Reaching up , I caress his cheek and run the tips of my fingers through his stubble. He closes his eyes and exhales . * I * m sorry , * I whisper . He opens his eyes and looks at me puzzled . * What for ? * * What I said. * * You didn * t tell me anything I didn * t know. * And his eyes soften with relief. * I am sorry I hurt you. * I shrug. * I asked for it. * And now I know. I swallow. Here goes. I need to say my piece. * I don * t think I can be everything you want me to be , * I whisper. His eyes widen , and he blinks , his fearful expression returning . * You are everything I want you to be. * What ? * I don * t understand. I * m not obedient , and you can be as sure as hell I * m not going to let you do that to me again. And that * s what you need , you said so. * He closes his eyes again , and I can see myriad emotions cross his face. When he reopens them , his expression is bleak. Oh no . * You * re right. I should let you go. I am no good for you. * My scalp prickles as every single hair follicle on my body stands to attention , and the world falls away from me , leaving a wide , yawning abyss for me to fall into. Oh no . * I don * t want to go , * I whisper. Fuck * this is it. Pay or play. Tears swim in my eyes once more . * I don * t want you to go , either , * he whispers , his voice raw. He reaches up and gently strokes my cheek and wipes away a falling tear with his thumb. * I * ve come alive since I met you. * His thumb traces the contours of my lower lip . * Me , too , * I whisper. * I * ve fallen in love with you , Christian. * His eyes widen again , but this time with pure , undiluted fear . * No , * he breathes as if I * ve knocked the wind out of him . Oh no . * You can * t love me" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_379: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "I whisper. Because you don * t want me the way I want you . * Please , Ana , take that stuff. * * Christian , I don * t want to fight * I just need the money. * He narrows his eyes , but I * m no longer intimidated by him. Well , only a little. I gaze impassively back , not blinking or backing down . * Will you take a check ? * he says acidly . * Yes. I think you * re good for it. * He doesn * t smile ; he just turns on his heel and stalks into his study. I take a last , lingering look around his apartment * at the art on the walls * all abstracts , serene , cool * cold , even. Fitting , I think absently. My eyes stray to the piano. Jeez * if I * d kept my mouth shut , we * d have made love on the piano. No , fucked , we would have fucked on the piano. Well , I would have made love. The thought lies heavy and sad in my mind and what * s left of my heart. He has never made love to me , has he ? It * s always been fucking to him . Christian returns and hands me an envelope . * Taylor got a good price. It * s a classic car. You can ask him. He * ll take you home. * He nods in the direction over my shoulder. I turn , and Taylor is standing in the doorway , wearing his suit , as impeccable as ever . * That * s fine. I can get myself home , thank you. * I turn to stare at Christian , and I see the barely contained fury in his eyes . * Are you going to defy me at every turn ? * * Why change a habit of a lifetime ? * I give him a small , apologetic shrug . He closes his eyes in frustration and runs his hand through his hair . * Please , Ana , let Taylor take you home. * * I * ll get the car , Miss Steele , * Taylor announces authoritatively. Christian nods at him , and when I glance around , Taylor has gone . I turn back to face Christian. We are four feet apart. He steps forward , and instinctively I step back. He stops , and the anguish in his expression is palpable , his gray eyes burning . * I don * t want you to go , * he murmurs , his voice full of longing . * I can * t stay. I know what I want and you can * t give it to me , and I can * t give you what you need. * He takes another step forward , and I hold" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_381: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "on myself. Deep down , a nasty , unbidden thought comes from my inner goddess , her lips contorted in a snarl * the physical pain from the bite of a belt is nothing , nothing compared to this devastation. I curl up , desperately clutching the flat foil balloon and Taylor * s handkerchief , and surrender myself to my grief ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_40: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "sees me . * Ana , what * s wrong ? * Oh no * not the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition. I shake my head in a back-off-now-Kavanagh way * but I might as well be dealing with a blind , deaf mute . * You * ve been crying. * She has an exceptional gift for stating the damned obvious sometimes. * What did that bastard do to you ? * she growls , and her face * jeez , she * s scary . * Nothing , Kate. * That * s actually the problem. The thought brings a wry smile to my face . * Then why have you been crying ? You never cry , * she says , her voice softening. She stands , her green eyes brimming with concern. She puts her arms around me and hugs me. I need to say something just to get her to back off . * I was nearly knocked over by a cyclist. * It * s the best that I can do , but it distracts her momentarily from * him . * Jeez , Ana * are you okay ? Were you hurt ? * She holds me at arm * s length and does a quick visual checkup on me . * No. Christian saved me , * I whisper. * But I was quite shaken. * * I * m not surprised. How was coffee ? I know you hate coffee. * * I had tea. It was fine , nothing to report really. I don * t know why he asked me. * * He likes you , Ana. * She drops her arms . * Not anymore. I won * t be seeing him again. * Yes , I manage to sound matter-of-fact . * Oh ? * Damn it. She * s intrigued. I head into the kitchen so that she can * t see my face . * Yeah * he * s a little out of my league , Kate , * I say as dryly as I can manage . * What do you mean ? * * Oh , Kate , it * s obvious. * I whirl around and face her as she stands in the kitchen doorway . * Not to me , * she says. * Okay , he * s got more money than you , but then he has more money than most people in America ! * * Kate he * s * * I shrug . * Ana ! For heaven * s sake * how many times do I have to tell you ? You * re a total babe , * she interrupts me. Oh no. She * s off on this tirade again . * Kate , please. I need to study. * I cut her short. She frowns . * Do you want to see the article ? It * s finished. Jos * took some" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_43: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "not like I * m beating his door down. * I frown . * I know you don * t want to talk about him , Ana , but he * s seriously into you. Warnings or no. * I have not let myself dwell on Christian Grey for the past week. Okay * so his gray eyes are still haunting my dreams , and I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and his wonderful fragrance from my brain. Why has he sent me this ? He told me that I wasn * t for him . * I * ve found one Tess first edition for sale in New York for fourteen thousand dollars. But yours look in much better condition. They must have cost more. * Kate is consulting her good friend Google . * This quote * Tess says it to her mother after Alec d * Urberville has had his wicked way with her. * * I know , * muses Kate. * What is he trying to say ? * * I don * t know , and I don * t care. I can * t accept these from him. I * ll send them back with an equally baffling quote from some obscure part of the book. * * The bit where Angel Clare says fuck off ? * Kate asks with a completely straight face . * Yes , that bit. * I giggle. I love Kate ; she * s loyal and supportive. I repack the books and leave them on the dining table. Kate hands me a glass of champagne . * To the end of exams and our new life in Seattle. * She grins . * To the end of exams , our new life in Seattle , and excellent results. * We clink glasses and drink . THE BAR IS LOUD and hectic , full of soon-to-be graduates out to get trashed. Jos * joins us. He won * t graduate for another year , but he * s in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all. As I down my fifth glass , I know this is not a good idea on top of the champagne . * So what now , Ana ? * Jos * shouts at me over the noise . * Kate and I are moving to Seattle. Kate * s parents have bought a condo there for her. * * Dios m * o , how the other half live. But you * ll be back for my show ? * * Of course , Jos * , I wouldn * t miss it for the world. * I smile , and he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close . * It means a lot to me that you * ll be" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_44: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "there , Ana , * he whispers in my ear. * Another margarita ? * * Jos * Luis Rodriguez * are you trying to get me drunk ? Because I think it * s working. * I giggle. * I think I * d better have a beer. I * ll go get us a pitcher. * * More drink , Ana ! * Kate bellows . Kate has the constitution of an ox. She * s got her arm draped over Levi , one of our fellow English students and her usual photographer on the student newspaper. He * s given up taking photos of the drunkenness that surrounds him. He only has eyes for Kate. She * s all tiny camisole , tight jeans , and high heels , hair piled high with tendrils hanging down softly around her face , her usual stunning self. Me , I * m more of a Converse and T-shirt kind of girl , but I * m wearing my most flattering jeans. I move out of Jos * * s hold and get up from our table . Whoa. Head spin . I have to grab the back of the chair. Tequila-based cocktails are not a good idea . I make my way to the bar and decide that I should visit the bathroom while I am on my feet. Good thinking , Ana. I stagger off through the crowd. Of course , there * s a line , but at least it * s quiet and cool in the corridor. I reach for my cell phone to relieve the boredom of waiting. Hmm * Who did I last call ? Was it Jos * ? Before that , a number I don * t recognize. Oh yes. Grey , I think this is his number. I giggle. I have no idea what the time is ; maybe I * ll wake him. Perhaps he can tell me why he sent me those books and the cryptic message. If he wants me to stay away , he should leave me alone. I suppress a drunken grin and hit the * call * button. He answers on the second ring . * Anastasia ? * He * s surprised to hear from me. Well , frankly , I * m surprised to be calling him. Then my befuddled brain registers * how does he know it * s me ? * Why did you send me the books ? * I slur at him . * Anastasia , are you okay ? You sound strange. * His voice is filled with concern . * I * m not the strange one , you are. * There * that told him , my courage fuelled by alcohol . * Anastasia , have you been drinking ? * * What * s it to you ? * * I * m * curious. Where are you ? * * In a bar. *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_45: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* Which bar ? * He sounds exasperated . * A bar in Portland. * * How are you getting home ? * * I * ll find a way. * This conversation is not going how I expected . * Which bar are you in ? * * Why did you send me the books , Christian ? * * Anastasia , where are you ? Tell me now. * His tone is so * so dictatorial , his usual control freak. I imagine him as an old-time movie director wearing jodhpurs , holding an old-fashioned megaphone and a riding crop. The image makes me laugh out loud . * You * re so * domineering. * I giggle . * Ana , so help me , where the fuck are you ? * Christian Grey is swearing at me. I giggle again. * I * m in Portland * * s a long way from Seattle. * * Where in Portland ? * * Good night , Christian. * * Ana ! * I hang up. Ha ! Though he didn * t tell me about the books. I frown. Mission not accomplished. I am really quite drunk * my head swims uncomfortably as I shuffle with the line. Well , the object of the exercise was to get drunk. I have succeeded. This is what it * s like * probably not an experience to be repeated. The line has moved , and it * s now my turn. I stare blankly at the poster on the back of the toilet door that extols the virtues of safe sex. Holy crap , did I just call Christian Grey ? Shit. My phone rings and it makes me jump. I yelp in surprise . * Hi , * I bleat timidly in to the phone. I hadn * t reckoned on this . * I * m coming to get you , * he says , and hangs up. Only Christian Grey could sound so calm and so threatening at the same time . Holy crap. I pull my jeans up. My heart is thumping. Coming to get me ? Oh no. I * m going to be sick * no * I * m fine. Hang on. He * s just messing with my head. I didn * t tell him where I was. He can * t find me here. Besides , it will take him hours to get here from Seattle , and we * ll be long gone by then. I wash my hands and check my face in the mirror. I look flushed and slightly unfocused. Hmm * tequila . I wait at the bar for what feels like an eternity for the pitcher of beer and eventually return to the table . * You * ve been gone so long , * Kate scolds me. * Where were you ? * * I was in line for the restroom. * Jos *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_46: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "and Levi are having some heated debate about our local baseball team. Jos * pauses in his tirade to pour us all beers , and I take a long sip . * Kate , I think I * d better step outside and get some fresh air. * * Ana , you are such a lightweight. * * I * ll be five minutes. * I make my way through the crowd again. I am beginning to feel nauseated , my head is spinning uncomfortably , and I * m a little unsteady on my feet. More unsteady than usual . Drinking in the cool evening air in the parking lot makes me realize how drunk I am. My vision has been affected , and I * m really seeing double of everything like in old reruns of Tom and Jerry cartoons. I think I * m going to be sick. Why did I let myself get this messed up ? * Ana , * Jos * has joined me. * You okay ? * * I think I * ve just had a bit too much to drink. * I smile weakly at him . * Me , too , * he murmurs , and his dark eyes are regarding me intently. * Do you need a hand ? * he asks and steps closer , putting his arm around me . * Jos * , I * m okay. I * ve got this. * I try to push him away rather feebly . * Ana , please , * he whispers , and now he * s holding me in his arms , pulling me close . * Jos * , what are you doing ? * * You know I like you Ana , please. * He has one hand at the small of my back holding me against him , the other at my chin tipping back my head. Holy fuck * he * s going to kiss me . * No , Jos * , stop * no. * I push him , but he * s a wall of hard muscle , and I can not shift him. His hand has slipped into my hair , and he * s holding my head in place . * Please , Ana , cari * o , * he whispers against my lips. His breath is soft and smells too sweet * of margarita and beer. He gently trails kisses along my jaw up to the side of my mouth. I feel panicky , drunk , and out of control. The feeling is suffocating . * Jos * , no , * I plead. I don * t want this. You are my friend , and I think I * m going to throw up . * I think the lady said no , * a voice in the dark says quietly. Holy shit ! Christian Grey , he * s here. How ? Jos" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_48: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "and into the local flora. There * s no disguising your lack of ladylike behavior . * I * ll , er * see you inside , * Jos * mutters , but we both ignore him , and he slinks off back into the building. I * m on my own with Grey. Double crap. What should I say to him ? Apologize for the phone call . * I * m sorry , * I mutter , staring at the handkerchief , which I am furiously worrying with my fingers. It * s so soft . * What are you sorry for , Anastasia ? * Damn it , he wants his damned pound of flesh . * The phone call , mainly. Being sick. Oh , the list is endless , * I murmur , feeling my skin coloring up. Please , please , can I die now ? * We * ve all been here , perhaps not quite as dramatically as you , * he says dryly. * It * s about knowing your limits , Anastasia. I mean , I * m all for pushing limits , but really this is beyond the pale. Do you make a habit of this kind of behavior ? * My head buzzes with excess alcohol and irritation. What the hell has it got to do with him ? I didn * t invite him here. He sounds like a middle-aged man scolding me like an errant child. Part of me wants to say that if I want to get drunk every night like this , then it * s my decision and nothing to do with him * but I * m not brave enough. Not now that I * ve thrown up in front of him. Why is he still standing there ? * No , * I say contritely. * I * ve never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again. * I just don * t understand why he * s here. I begin to feel faint. He notices my dizziness and grabs me before I fall and hoists me into his arms , holding me close to his chest like a child . * Come on , I * ll take you home , * he murmurs . * I need to tell Kate. * I * m in his arms again . * My brother can tell her. * * What ? * * My brother Elliot is talking to Miss Kavanagh. * * Oh ? * I don * t understand . * He was with me when you phoned. * * In Seattle ? * I * m confused . * No , I * m staying at the Heathman. * Still ? Why ? * How did you find me ? * * I tracked your cell phone , Anastasia. * Oh , of course he did. How is that possible ?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_52: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", in that way , off his hips and a gray sleeveless T-shirt which is dark with sweat , like his hair. Christian Grey * s sweat ; the notion does odd things to me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I feel like a two-year-old ; if I close my eyes , then I * m not really here . * Good morning , Anastasia. How are you feeling ? * * Better than I deserve , * I mumble . I peek up at him. He places a large shopping bag on a chair and grasps each end of the towel that he has around his neck. He * s staring at me , gray eyes dark , and as usual , I have no idea what he * s thinking. He hides his thoughts and feelings so well . * How did I get here ? * My voice is small , contrite . He sits down on the edge of the bed. He * s close enough for me to touch , for me to smell. Oh my * sweat and body wash and Christian. It * s a heady cocktail * so much better than a margarita , and now I can speak from experience . * After you passed out , I didn * t want to risk the leather upholstery in my car taking you all the way to your apartment. So I brought you here , * he says phlegmatically . * Did you put me to bed ? * * Yes. * His face is impassive . * Did I throw up again ? * My voice is quieter . * No. * * Did you undress me ? * I whisper . * Yes. * He quirks an eyebrow at me as I blush furiously . * We didn * t * ? * I whisper , my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can * t complete the question. I stare at my hands . * Anastasia , you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive , * he says dryly . * I * m so sorry. * His mouth lifts slightly in a wry smile . * It was a very diverting evening. Not one that I * ll forget in a while. * Me , neither * oh , he * s laughing at me , the bastard. I didn * t ask him to come and get me. Somehow I * ve been made to feel like the villain of the piece . * You didn * t have to track me down with whatever James Bond gadgetry you * re developing for the highest bidder , * I snap. He stares at me , surprised and , if I * m not mistaken , a little wounded . * First , the technology to track cell phones is available over the Internet. Second" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_53: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", my company does not invest or manufacture any kind of surveillance devices. And third , if I hadn * t come to get you , you * d probably be waking up in the photographer * s bed , and from what I can remember , you weren * t overly enthused about him pressing his suit , * he says acidly . Pressing his suit ! I glance up at Christian. He * s glaring at me , eyes blazing , aggrieved. I try to bite my lip , but I fail to repress my giggle . * Which medieval chronicle did you escape from ? You sound like a courtly knight. * His mood visibly shifts. His eyes soften and his expression warms , and there * s a trace of a smile on his lips . * Anastasia , I don * t think so. Dark knight , maybe. * His smile is sardonic , and he shakes his head. * Did you eat last night ? * His tone is accusatory. I shake my head. What major transgression have I committed now ? His jaw clenches , but his face remains impassive . * You need to eat. That * s why you were so ill. Honestly , it * s drinking rule number one. * He runs this hand through his hair , and I know it * s because he * s exasperated . * Are you going to continue to scold me ? * * Is that what I * m doing ? * * I think so. * * You * re lucky I * m just scolding you. * * What do you mean ? * * Well , if you were mine , you wouldn * t be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday. You didn * t eat , you got drunk , you put yourself at risk. * He closes his eyes , dread etched briefly on his face , and he shudders. When he opens his eyes , he glares at me. * I hate to think what could have happened to you. * I scowl back at him. What is his problem ? What * s it to him ? If I was his * Well , I * m not. Though maybe part of me would like to be. The thought pierces through the irritation I feel at his high-handed words. I flush at the waywardness of my subconscious * she * s doing her happy dance in a bright red hula skirt at the thought of being his . * I would have been fine. I was with Kate. * * And the photographer ? * he snaps at me . Hmm * young Jos * . I * ll need to face him at some point . * Jos * just got out of line. * I shrug . * Well , the next time" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_58: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* I don * t do romance. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear of me. * He closes his eyes as if in defeat. * There * s something about you , though , and I * m finding it impossible to stay away. But I think you * ve figured that out already. * My appetite vanishes. He can * t stay away ! * Then don * t , * I whisper . He gasps , his eyes wide. * You don * t know what you * re saying. * * Enlighten me , then. * We sit gazing at each other , neither of us touching our food . * You * re not celibate , then ? * I breathe . Amusement lights up his eyes . * No , Anastasia , I * m not celibate. * He pauses for this information to sink in , and I flush scarlet. The mouth-to-brain filter is broken again. I can * t believe I * ve just said that out loud . * What are your plans for the next few days ? * he asks , his voice low . * I * m working today , from midday. What time is it ? * I panic suddenly . * It * s just after ten ; you * ve plenty of time. What about tomorrow ? * He has his elbows on the table , and his chin is resting on his long , steepled fingers . * Kate and I are going to start packing. We * re moving to Seattle next weekend , and I * m working at Clayton * s all this week. * * You have a place in Seattle already ? * * Yes. * * Where ? * * I can * t remember the address. It * s in the Pike Market District. * * Not far from me. * He smiles. * So what are you going to do for work in Seattle ? * Where is he going with all these questions ? The Christian Grey Inquisition is almost as irritating as the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition . * I * ve applied for some internships. I * m waiting to hear. * * Have you applied to my company as I suggested ? * I flush * Of course not. * Um * no. * * And what * s wrong with my company ? * * Your company or your company ? * I smirk . * Are you smirking at me , Miss Steele ? * He tilts his head to one side , and I think he looks amused , but it * s hard to tell. I flush and glance down at my unfinished breakfast. I can * t look him in the eye when he uses that tone of voice . * I * d like to bite that lip , * he whispers darkly ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_60: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Pilot ? * Standby pilot from twenty-two thirty. * He puts the phone down. No please or thank you . * Do people always do what you tell them ? * * Usually , if they want to keep their jobs , * he says , deadpan . * And if they don * t work for you ? * * Oh , I can be very persuasive , Anastasia. You should finish your breakfast. And then I * ll drop you off at home. I * ll pick you up at Clayton * s at eight when you finish. We * ll fly up to Seattle. * I blink at him rapidly . * Fly ? * * Yes. I have a helicopter. * I gape at him. I have my second date with Christian Oh-So-Mysterious Grey. From coffee to helicopter rides. Wow . * We * ll go by helicopter to Seattle ? * * Yes. * * Why ? * He grins wickedly. * Because I can. Finish your breakfast. * How can I eat now ? I * m going to Seattle by helicopter with Christian Grey. And he wants to bite my lip * I squirm at the thought . * Eat , * he says more sharply. * Anastasia , I have an issue with wasted food * eat. * * I can * t eat all this. * I gape at what * s left on the table . * Eat what * s on your plate. If you * d eaten properly yesterday , you wouldn * t be here , and I wouldn * t be declaring my hand so soon. * His mouth sets in a grim line. He looks angry . I frown and return to my now cold food. I * m too excited to eat , Christian. Don * t you understand ? my subconscious explains. But I * m too much of a coward to voice these thoughts aloud , especially when he looks so sullen. Hmm , like a small boy. I find the thought amusing . * What * s so funny ? * he asks. I shake my head , not daring tell him , and keep my eyes on my food. Swallowing my last piece of pancake , I peek up at him. He * s eyeing me speculatively . * Good girl , * he says. * I * ll take you home when you * ve dried your hair. I don * t want you getting ill. * There * s some kind of unspoken promise in his words. What does he mean ? I leave the table , wondering for a moment if I should ask permission but dismissing the idea. Sounds like a dangerous precedent to set. I head back to his bedroom. A thought stops me . * Where did you sleep last night ? * I turn to gaze at him still sitting in the dining" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_67: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "beautiful , sexy , funny , forward * all the things that I * m not. But her answering grin is infectious . * And I * m seeing him again this evening. * She claps her hands and jumps up and down like a small child. She can not contain her excitement and happiness , and I can * t help but feel happy for her. A happy Kate * this is going to be interesting . * Christian is taking me to Seattle this evening. * * Seattle ? * * Yes. * * Maybe you will then ? * * Oh , I hope so. * * You like him , then ? * * Yes. * * Like him enough to * ? * * Yes. * She raises her eyebrows . * Wow. Ana Steele , finally falling for a man , and it * s Christian Grey * hot , sexy billionaire. * * Oh yeah * it * s all about the money. * I smirk , and we both fall into a fit of giggles . * Is that a new blouse ? * she asks , and I let her have all the unexciting details about my night . * Has he kissed you yet ? * she asks as she makes coffee . I blush . * Once. * * Once ! * she scoffs . I nod , rather shamefaced. * He * s very reserved. * She frowns. * That * s odd. * * I don * t think odd covers it , really. * * We need to make sure you * re simply irresistible for this evening , * she says with determination . Oh no * this sounds like it will be time consuming , humiliating , and painful . * I have to be at work in an hour. * * I can work with that time frame. Come on. * Kate grabs my hand and takes me into her bedroom . THE DAY DRAGS AT Clayton * s even though we * re busy. We * ve hit the summer season , so I have to spend two hours restocking the shelves once the shop is closed. It * s mindless work , and it gives me too much time to think. I * ve not really had a chance all day . Under Kate * s tireless and frankly intrusive instruction , my legs and underarms are shaved to perfection , my eyebrows plucked , and I am buffed all over. It has been a most unpleasant experience. But she assures me that this is what men expect these days. What else will he expect ? I have to convince Kate that this is what I want to do. For some strange reason , she doesn * t trust him , maybe because he * s so stiff and formal. She says she can * t put her finger on it" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_75: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* I murmur . I am standing in this enormous room feeling out of place. I walk over to the glass wall , and I realize that the lower half of the wall opens concertina style onto the balcony. Seattle is lit up and lively in the background. I walk back to the kitchen area * it takes a few seconds , it * s so far from the glass wall * and Christian is opening a bottle of wine. He * s removed his jacket . * Pouilly Fum * okay with you ? * * I know nothing about wine , Christian. I * m sure it will be fine. * My voice is soft and hesitant. My heart is thumping. I want to run. This is seriously rich. Seriously over-the-top Bill Gates * style wealthy. What am I doing here ? You know very well what you * re doing here , my subconscious sneers at me. Yes , I want to be in Christian Grey * s bed . * Here. * He hands me a glass of wine. Even the glasses are rich * heavy , contemporary crystal. I take a sip , and the wine is light , crisp , and delicious . * You * re very quiet , and you * re not even blushing. In fact , I think this is the palest I * ve ever seen you , Anastasia , * he murmurs. * Are you hungry ? * I shake my head. Not for food. * It * s a very big place you have here. * * Big ? * * Big. * * It * s big , * he agrees , and his eyes glow with amusement. I take another sip of wine . * Do you play ? * I point my chin at the piano . * Yes. * * Well ? * * Yes. * * Of course you do. Is there anything you can * t do well ? * * Yes * a few things. * He takes a sip of his wine. He doesn * t take his eyes off me. I feel them following me as I turn and glance around this vast room. * Room * is the wrong word. It * s not a room * it * s a mission statement . * Do you want to sit ? * I nod , and he takes my hand and leads me to the large off-white couch. As I sit , I * m struck by the fact that I feel like Tess Durbeyfield looking at the new house that belongs to the notorious Alec d * Urberville. The thought makes me smile . * What * s so amusing ? * He sits down beside me , turning to face me. He rests his head on his right hand , his elbow propped on the back of the couch . * Why did you give" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_80: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", * he whispers. I glance at the rack of canes as he says this . * And where does all this fit in ? * I wave my hand in the general direction of the room . * It * s all part of the incentive package. Both reward and punishment. * * So you * ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me. * * It * s about gaining your trust and your respect , so you * ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure , joy even , in your submission. The more you submit , the greater my joy * it * s a very simple equation. * * Okay , and what do I get out of this ? * He shrugs and looks almost apologetic . * Me , * he says simply . Oh my. Christian rakes his hand through his hair as he gazes at me . * You * re not giving anything away , Anastasia , * he murmurs , exasperated. * Let * s go back downstairs where I can concentrate better. It * s very distracting having you in here. * He holds his hand out to me , and now I * m hesitant to take it . Kate had said he was dangerous ; she was so right. How did she know ? He * s dangerous to my health , because I know I * m going to say yes. And part of me doesn * t want to. Part of me wants to run screaming from this room and all it represents. I am so out of my depth here . * I * m not going to hurt you , Anastasia. * I know he speaks the truth. I take his hand , and he leads me out the door . * If you do this , let me show you. * Rather than going back downstairs , he turns right out of the playroom , as he calls it , and down a corridor. We pass several doors until we reach the one at the end. Beyond it is a bedroom with a large double bed , all in white * everything * furniture , walls , bedding. It * s sterile and cold but with the most glorious view of Seattle through the glass wall . * This will be your room. You can decorate it how you like , have whatever you like in here. * * My room ? You * re expecting me to move in ? * I can * t hide the horror in my voice . * Not full time. Just , say , Friday evening through Sunday. We have to talk about all that , negotiate. If you want to do this , * he adds , his voice quiet and hesitant . * I * ll sleep here ? * *" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_81: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "Yes. * * Not with you. * * No. I told you , I don * t sleep with anyone , except you when you * re stupefied with drink. * His voice is reprimanding . My mouth presses in a hard line. This is what I can not reconcile. Kind , caring Christian , who rescues me from inebriation and holds me gently while I * m throwing up into the azaleas , and the monster who possesses whips and chains in a special room . * Where do you sleep ? * * My room is downstairs. Come , you must be hungry. * * Weirdly , I seem to have lost my appetite , * I murmur petulantly . * You must eat , Anastasia , * he scolds , and , taking my hand , leads me back downstairs . Back in the impossibly big room , I am filled with deep trepidation. I am on the edge of a precipice , and I have to decide whether to jump . * I * m fully aware that this is a dark path I * m leading you down , Anastasia , which is why I really want you to think about this. You must have some questions , * he says as he wanders into the kitchen area , releasing my hand . I do. But where to start ? * You * ve signed your NDA ; you can ask me anything you want and I * ll answer. * I stand at the breakfast bar watching him as he opens the refrigerator and pulls out a plate of different cheeses with two large bunches of green and red grapes. He sets the plate down on the worktop and proceeds to cut up a French baguette . * Sit. * He points to one of the stools at the breakfast bar , and I obey his command. If I * m going to do this , I * m going to have to get used to it. I realize he * s been this bossy since I met him . * You mentioned paperwork. * * Yes. * * What paperwork ? * * Well , apart from the NDA , a contract saying what we will and won * t do. I need to know your limits , and you need to know mine. This is consensual , Anastasia. * * And if I don * t want to do this ? * * That * s fine , * he says carefully . * But we won * t have any sort of relationship ? * I ask . * No. * * Why ? * * This is the only sort of relationship I * m interested in. * * Why ? * He shrugs. * It * s the way I am. * * How did you become this way ? * * Why is anyone the way they are" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_82: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "? That * s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it ? Do you like cheese ? Mrs. Jones * my housekeeper * has left this for supper. * He takes some large white plates from a cupboard and places one in front of me . We * re talking about cheese * Holy crap . * What are your rules that I have to follow ? * * I have them written down. We * ll go through them once we * ve eaten. * Food. How can I eat now ? * I * m really not hungry , * I whisper . * You will eat , * he says simply. Dominating Christian , it all becomes clear. * Would you like another glass of wine ? * * Yes , please. * He pours wine into my glass and comes to sit beside me. I take a hasty sip . * Help yourself to food , Anastasia. * I take a small bunch of grapes. This I can manage. He narrows his eyes . * Have you been like this for a while ? * I ask . * Yes. * * Is it easy to find women who want to do this ? * He raises an eyebrow at me . * You * d be amazed , * he says dryly . * Then why me ? I really don * t understand. * * Anastasia , I * ve told you. There * s something about you. I can * t leave you alone. * He smiles ironically. * I * m like a moth to a flame. * His voice darkens. * I want you very badly , especially now , when you * re biting your lip again. * He takes a deep breath and swallows . My stomach somersaults * he wants me * in a weird way , true , but this beautiful , strange , kinky man wants me . * I think you have that clich * the wrong way around , * I grumble. I am the moth and he is the flame , and I * m going to get burned. I know . * Eat ! * * No. I haven * t signed anything yet , so I think I * ll hang on to my free will for a bit longer , if that * s okay with you. * His eyes soften , and his lips turn up in a smile . * As you wish , Miss Steele. * * How many women ? * I blurt out the question , but I * m so curious . * Fifteen. * Oh * not as many as I thought . * For long periods of time ? * * Some of them , yes. * * Have you ever hurt anyone ? * * Yes. * Holy shit . * Badly" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/no/no_fifty_500_86: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "know each other. * I * m staring at my hands. Why am I feeling guilty ? Why is he so mad ? I peek up at him . * Well , you know a lot more about me now , * he snaps , his mouth presses into a hard line. * I knew you were inexperienced , but a virgin ! * He says it like it * s a really dirty word. * Hell , Ana , I just showed you * * he groans. * May God forgive me. Have you ever been kissed , apart from by me ? * * Of course I have. * I try my best to look affronted. Okay * maybe twice . * And a nice young man hasn * t swept you off your feet ? I just don * t understand. You * re twenty-one , nearly twenty-two. You * re beautiful. * He runs his hand through his hair again . Beautiful. I flush with pleasure. Christian Grey thinks I * m beautiful. I knot my fingers together , staring at them hard , trying to conceal my goofy grin. Perhaps he * s farsighted. My subconscious has reared her somnambulant head. Where was she when I needed her ? * And you * re seriously discussing what I want to do , when you have no experience. * His brows knit together. * How have you avoided sex ? Tell me , please. * I shrug . * No one * s really , you know * * Come up to scratch , only you. And you turn out to be some kind of monster. * Why are you so angry with me ? * I whisper . * I * m not angry with you , I * m angry with myself. I just assumed * * He sighs. He regards me shrewdly and then shakes his head. * Do you want to go ? * he asks , his voice gentle . * No , unless you want me to go , * I murmur. Oh no * I don * t want to leave . * Of course not. I like having you here. * He frowns as he says this and then glances at his watch. * It * s late. * And he turns to look at me. * You * re biting your lip. * His voice is husky , and he * s eyeing me speculatively . * Sorry. * * Don * t apologize. It * s just that I want to bite it , too , hard. * I gasp * how can he say things like that to me and not expect me to be affected . * Come , * he murmurs . * What ? * * We * re going to rectify the situation right now. * * What do you mean ? What situation ? * * Your situation. Ana ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_123: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "It * s delicious. Christian and I look up at each other at the same time with relief. I giggle , and he cocks his head to one side . * That * s a lovely sound , * he murmurs . * Why have you never had vanilla sex before ? Have you always done * er , what you * ve done ? * I ask , intrigued . He nods slowly . * Sort of. * His voice is wary. He frowns for a moment and seems to be engaged in some kind of internal struggle. Then he glances up , a decision made. * One of my mother * s friends seduced me when I was fifteen. * * Oh. * Holy shit , that * s young ! * She had very particular tastes. I was her submissive for six years. * He shrugs . * Oh. * My brain has frozen , stunned into inactivity by this admission . * So I do know what it involves , Anastasia. * His eyes glow with insight . I stare at him , unable to articulate anything * even my subconscious is silent . * I didn * t really have a run-of-the-mill introduction to sex. * Curiosity kicks in big time . * So you never dated anyone at college ? * * No. * He shakes his head to emphasize the point . The waitress takes our bowls , interrupting us for a moment . * Why ? * I ask when she * s gone . He smiles sardonically . * Do you really want to know ? * * Yes. * * I didn * t want to. She was all I wanted , needed. And besides , she * d have beaten the shit out of me. * He smiles fondly at the memory . Oh , this is way too much information * but I want more . * So if she was a friend of your mother * s , how old was she ? * He smirks. * Old enough to know better. * * Do you still see her ? * * Yes. * * Do you still * er * ? * I flush . * No. * He shakes his head and smiles indulgently at me. * She * s a very good friend. * * Oh. Does your mother know ? * He gives me a don * t-be-stupid stare . * Of course not. * The waitress returns with venison , but my appetite has vanished. What a revelation. Christian the submissive * Holy shit. I take a large slug of Pinot Grigio * he * s right , of course , it * s delicious. Jeez , all these revelations , it * s so much to think about. I need time to process this , when I * m on my own , not when I * m distracted by his" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_170: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "* ve figured this out . * I don * t think that * s a good idea , * I murmur quietly. * We haven * t had dessert. * * You want dessert ? * he snorts . * Yes. * * You could be dessert , * he murmurs suggestively . * I * m not sure I * m sweet enough. * * Anastasia , you * re deliciously sweet. I know. * * Christian. You use sex as a weapon. It really isn * t fair , * I whisper , staring down at my hands , and then looking directly at him. He raises his eyebrows , surprised , and I see he * s considering my words. He strokes his chin thoughtfully . * You * re right. I do. In life you use what you know , Anastasia. Doesn * t change how much I want you. Here. Now. * How can he seduce me solely with his voice ? I * m panting already * my heated blood rushing through my veins , my nerves tingling . * I * d like to try something , * he breathes . I frown. He * s just given me a shitload of ideas to process and now this . * If you were my sub , you wouldn * t have to think about this. It would be easy. * His voice is soft , seductive. * All those decisions * all the wearying thought processes behind them. The * is this the right thing to do ? Should this happen here ? Can it happen now ? * You wouldn * t have to worry about any of that detail. That * s what I * d do as your Dom. And right now , I know you want me , Anastasia. * My frown deepens. How can he tell ? * I can tell because * * Holy shit , he * s answering my unspoken question. Is he psychic as well ? * * your body gives you away. You * re pressing your thighs together , you * re flushed , and your breathing has changed. * Okay , this is too much . * How do you know about my thighs ? * My voice is low , disbelieving. They * re under the table , for heaven * s sake . * I felt the tablecloth move , and it * s a calculated guess based on years of experience. I * m right , aren * t I ? * I flush and stare down at my hands. That * s what I * m hindered by in this game of seduction. He * s the only one who knows and understands the rules. I * m just too na * ve and inexperienced. My only sphere of reference is Kate , and she doesn * t take any shit from men. My other references" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_193: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ". He glances quickly at me . * More ? * * Please. * He smiles that oh-so-smug private smile of his , holds the champagne bottle up , and pauses . * Have you eaten anything ? * Oh no * not this old chestnut . * Yes. I had a three-course meal with Ray. * I roll my eyes at him. The champagne is making me bold . He leans forward and holds my chin , staring intently into my eyes . * Next time you roll your eyes at me , I will take you across my knee. * What ? * Oh , * I breathe , and I can see the excitement in his eyes . * Oh , * he responds , mirroring my tone. * So it begins , Anastasia. * My heart slams against my chest , and the butterflies escape from my stomach into my constricting throat. Why is that hot ? He fills my cup , and I drink practically all of it. Chastened , I stare up at him . * Got your attention now , haven * t I ? * I nod . * Answer me. * * Yes * you * ve got my attention. * * Good , * he smiles a knowing smile. * So sexual acts. We * ve done most of this. * I move closer to him on the couch and glance down at the list . APPENDIX 3 Soft Limits To be discussed and agreed between both parties : Does the Submissive consent to : * Masturbation * Cunnilingus * Fellatio * Swallowing Semen * Vaginal intercourse * Vaginal fisting * Anal intercourse * Anal fisting * No fisting , you say. Anything else you object to ? * he asks softly. I swallow . * Anal intercourse doesn * t exactly float my boat. * * I * ll agree to the fisting , but I * d really like to claim your ass , Anastasia. But we * ll wait for that. Besides , it * s not something we can dive into. * He smirks at me. * Your ass will need training. * * Training ? * I whisper . * Oh yes. It * ll need careful preparation. Anal intercourse can be very pleasurable , trust me. But if we try it and you don * t like it , we don * t have to do it again. * He grins down at me . I blink up at him. He thinks I * ll enjoy it ? How does he know it * s pleasurable ? * Have you done that ? * I whisper . * Yes. * Holy crap. I gasp . * With a man ? * * No. I * ve never had sex with a man. Not my scene. * * Mrs. Robinson ? * * Yes. * Holy shit * how ? I frown. He moves on" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_195: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "consent to be blindfolded ? Does the Submissive consent to be gagged ? * We * ve talked about suspension. And it * s fine if you want to set that up as a hard limit. It takes a great deal of time , and I only have you for short periods of time anyway. Anything else ? * * Don * t laugh at me , but what * s a spreader bar ? * * I promise not to laugh. I * ve apologized twice. * He glares at me. * Don * t make me do it again , * he warns. And I think I visibly shrink * oh , he * s so bossy. * A spreader is a bar with cuffs for ankles and/or wrists. They * re fun. * * Okay * Well , gagging me. I * d be worried I wouldn * t be able to breathe. * * I * d be worried if you couldn * t breathe. I don * t want to suffocate you. * * And how will I use safewords if I * m gagged ? * He pauses . * First of all , I hope you never have to use them. But if you * re gagged , we * ll use hand signals , * he says simply . I blink up at him. But if I * m trussed up , how * s that going to work ? My brain is beginning to fog * hmm , alcohol . * I * m nervous about the gagging. * * Okay. I * ll take note. * I stare up at him , realization dawning . * Do you like tying your submissives up so they can * t touch you ? * He gazes at me , his eyes widening . * That * s one of the reasons , * he says quietly . * Is that why you * ve tied my hands ? * * Yes. * * You don * t like talking about that , * I murmur . * No , I don * t. Would you like another drink ? It * s making you brave , and I need to know how you feel about pain. * Holy crap * this is the tricky part. He refills my teacup , and I sip . * So , what * s your general attitude to receiving pain ? * Christian looks expectantly at me. * You * re biting your lip , * he says darkly . I stop immediately , but I don * t know what to say. I flush and stare down at my hands . * Were you physically punished as a child ? * * No. * * So you have no sphere of reference at all ? * * No. * * It * s not as bad as you think. Your imagination is your worst enemy" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_196: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "in this , * he whispers . * Do you have to do it ? * * Yes. * * Why ? * * Goes with the territory , Anastasia. It * s what I do. I can see you * re nervous. Let * s go through methods. * He shows me the list. My subconscious runs , screaming , and hides behind the couch . * Spanking * Whipping * Biting * Genital clamps * Hot wax * Paddling * Caning * Nipple clamps * Ice * Other types/methods of pain * Well , you said no to genital clamps. That * s fine. It * s caning that hurts the most. * I blanch . * We can work up to that. * * Or not do it at all , * I whisper . * This is part of the deal , baby , but we * ll work up to all of this. Anastasia , I won * t push you too far. * * This punishment thing , it worries me the most. * My voice is very small . * Well , I * m glad you * ve told me. We * ll keep caning off the list for now. And as you get more comfortable with everything else , we * ll increase intensity. We * ll take it slow. * I swallow , and he leans forward and kisses me on my lips . * There , that wasn * t so bad was it ? * I shrug , my heart in mouth again . * Look , I want to talk about one more thing , then I * m taking you to bed. * * Bed ? * I blink rapidly , and my blood pounds through my body , warming places I didn * t know existed until very recently . * Come on , Anastasia , talking through all this , I want to fuck you into next week , right now. It must be having some effect on you , too. * I squirm. My inner goddess is panting . * See ? Besides , there * s something I want to try. * * Something painful ? * * No * stop seeing pain everywhere. It * s mainly pleasure. Have I hurt you yet ? * I flush. * No. * * Well , then. Look , earlier today you were talking about wanting more , * he halts , uncertain all of a sudden . Oh my * where * s this going ? He clasps my hand . * Outside of the time you * re my sub , perhaps we could try. I don * t know if it will work. I don * t know about separating everything. It may not work. But I * m willing to try. Maybe one night a week. I don * t know. * Holy cow * my mouth drops open ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_202: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "her ice cream . * Your innocence and enthusiasm is very disarming , * he gasps. * You , on top * that * s what we need to do. * Oh . * Here , put this on. * He hands me a foil packet . Holy crap. How ? I rip the packet open , and the rubbery condom is all tacky in my fingers . * Pinch the top and then roll it down. You don * t want any air in the end of that sucker , * he pants . And very slowly , concentrating hard , I do as I * m told . * Christ , you * re killing me here , Anastasia , * he groans . I admire my handiwork and him. He really is a fine specimen of a man. Looking at him is very , very arousing . * Now. I want to be buried inside you , * he murmurs. I stare down at him , daunted , and he sits up suddenly , so we * re nose to nose . * Like this , * he breathes , and he snakes one hand around my hips , lifting me , and with the other he positions himself beneath me and , very slowly , eases me onto him . I groan as he stretches me open , filling me , my mouth hanging open in surprise at the sweet , sublime , agonizing , over-full feeling. Oh * please . * That * s right , baby , feel me , all of me , * he growls , and briefly closes his eyes . And he * s inside me , sheathed to the hilt , and he holds me in place , for seconds * minutes * I have no idea , staring intently into my eyes . * It * s deep this way , * he murmurs. He flexes and swivels his hips in the same motion , and I groan * oh my * the sensation radiates throughout my belly * everywhere. Fuck ! * Again , * I whisper. He grins a lazy grin and obliges . Moaning , I throw my head up , my hair tumbling down my back , and very slowly , he sinks down on to the bed . * You move , Anastasia , up and down , how you want. Take my hands , * he breathes , his voice hoarse and low and oh-so-sexy . I clasp his hands , holding on for life. Gently I push off him and back down. His eyes are burning with wild anticipation. His breathing is ragged , matching mine , and he lifts his pelvis as I come down , bouncing me back up. We pick up the rhythm * up , down , up , down * over and over * and it feels so * good. Between my panting breaths , the" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_206: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "attention . He nods slowly , and then he grins , teasing. * Could get really ugly. * His grin is infectious . * Ugly , how ? * * Oh , you know , explosions , car chases , kidnapping , incarceration. * * You * d kidnap me ? * * Oh yes. * He grins . * Hold me against my will ? * Jeez , this is hot . * Oh yes. * He nods. * And then we * re talking TPE 24/7. * * You * ve lost me , * I breathe , my heart is pounding * is he serious ? * Total Power Exchange * around the clock. * His eyes are shining , and his excitement is palpable even from where I sit . Holy shit . * So you have no choice , * he says sardonically . * Clearly. * I can * t keep the sarcasm out of my voice as my eyes reach for the heavens . * Oh , Anastasia Steele , did you just roll your eyes at me ? * Crap . * No , * I squeak . * I think you did. What did I say I * d do to you if you rolled your eyes at me again ? * Shit. He sits down on the edge of the bed . * Come here , * he says softly . I blanch. Jeez * he * s serious. I sit staring at him , completely immobile . * I haven * t signed , * I whisper . * I told you what I * d do. I * m a man of my word. I * m going to spank you , and then I * m going to fuck you very quick and very hard. Looks like we * ll need that condom after all. * His voice is so soft , menacing , and it * s damned hot. My insides practically contort with potent , needy , liquid , desire. He gazes at me , waiting , eyes blazing. Tentatively , I uncurl my legs. Should I run ? This is it ; our relationship hangs in the balance , right here , right now. Do I let him do this or do I say no , and then that * s it ? Because I know it will be over if I say no. Do it ! my inner goddess pleads with me. My subconscious is as paralyzed as I am . * I * m waiting , * he says. * I * m not a patient man. * Oh , for the love of all that * s holy. I * m panting , afraid , turned on. Blood pounding through my body , my legs like jelly. Slowly , I crawl over to him until I am beside him . * Good girl , * he murmurs. * Now stand up." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_209: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "to my world. * We lie there , panting together , waiting for our breathing to slow. He gently strokes my hair. I * m on his chest again. But this time , I don * t have the strength to lift my hand and feel him. Boy * I survived. That wasn * t so bad. I * m more stoic than I thought. My inner goddess is prostrate * well , at least she * s quiet. Christian nuzzles my hair again , inhaling deeply . * Well done , baby , * he whispers , quiet joy in his voice. His words curl around me like a soft , fluffy towel from the Heathman Hotel , and I * m so pleased that he * s happy . He picks at the strap on my camisole . * Is this what you sleep in ? * he asks gently . * Yes , * I breathe sleepily . * You should be in silks and satins , you beautiful girl. I * ll take you shopping. * * I like my sweats , * I murmur , trying and failing to sound irritated . He kisses my head again . * We * ll see , * he says . We lie for a few more minutes , hours , who knows , and I think I doze . * I have to go , * he says , and leaning down , he kisses my forehead gently. * Are you okay ? * His voice is soft . I think about his question. My backside is sore. Well , glowing now , and amazingly I feel , apart from exhausted , radiant. The realization is humbling , unexpected. I don * t understand . * I * m okay , * I whisper. I don * t want to say more than that . He rises . * Where * s your bathroom ? * * Down the hall to the left. * He scoops up the other condom and heads out of the bedroom. I rise stiffly and put my sweatpants back on. They chafe a little against my still-smarting behind. I * m so confused by my reaction. I remember him saying * I can * t remember when * that I would feel so much better after a good hiding. How can that be so ? I really don * t get it. But strangely , I do. I can * t say that I enjoyed the experience. In fact , I would still go a long way to avoid it , but now * I have this safe , weird , bathed in afterglow , sated feeling. I put my head in my hands. I just don * t understand . Christian reenters the room. I can * t look him in the eye. I stare down at my hands . * I found some baby oil. Let me rub it into" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_217: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "don * t like the way I am. * He stares at me , bewildered again. * I think you * re lovely the way you are. * * So why are you trying to change me ? * * I don * t want to change you. I * d like you to be courteous and to follow the set of rules I * ve given you and not defy me. Simple , * he says . * But you want to punish me ? * * Yes , I do. * * That * s what I don * t understand. * He sighs and runs his hands through his hair again . * It * s the way I * m made , Anastasia. I need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way , and if you don * t * I love to watch your beautiful alabaster skin pink and warm up under my hands. It turns me on. * Holy shit. Now we * re getting somewhere . * So it * s not the pain you * re putting me through ? * He swallows . * A bit , to see if you can take it , but that * s not the whole reason. It * s the fact that you are mine to do with as I see fit * ultimate control over someone else. And it turns me on. Big time , Anastasia. Look , I * m not explaining myself very well * I * ve never had to before. I * ve not really thought about this in any great depth. I * ve always been with like-minded people. * He shrugs apologetically. * And you still haven * t answered my question * how did you feel afterward ? * * Confused. * * You were sexually aroused by it , Anastasia. * He closes his eyes briefly , and when he reopens them and gazes at me , they are blazing . His expression pulls at that dark part of me , buried in the depths of my belly * my libido , woken and tamed by him but , even now , insatiable . * Don * t look at me like that , * he murmurs . I frown. Jeez , what have I done now ? * I don * t have any condoms , Anastasia , and you know , you * re upset. Contrary to what your roommate believes , I * m not a priapic monster. So , you felt confused ? * I squirm under his intense gaze . * You have no problem being honest with me in print. Your e-mails always tell me exactly how you feel. Why can * t you do that in conversation ? Do I intimidate you that much ? * I pick at an imaginary spot on my mother * s blue-and-cream quilt . * You beguile" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_218: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "me , Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun , * I whisper . He gasps. * Well , I think you * ve got that the wrong way around , * he whispers . * What ? * * Oh , Anastasia , you * ve bewitched me. Isn * t it obvious ? * No , not to me. Bewitched * my inner goddess is staring openmouthed. Even she doesn * t believe this . * You * ve still not answered my question. Write me an e-mail , please. But right now , I * d really like to sleep. Can I stay ? * * Do you want to stay ? * I can * t hide the hope in my voice . * You wanted me here. * * You haven * t answered my question. * * I * ll write you an e-mail , * he mutters petulantly . Standing , he empties his jeans pockets of BlackBerry , keys , wallet , and money. Holy cow , men carry a lot of crap in their pockets. He strips off his watch , shoes , socks , and jeans and places his jacket over my chair. He walks around to the other side of the bed and slides in . * Lie down , * he orders . I slip slowly under the covers , wincing , staring at him. Jeez * he * s staying. I think I * m numb with elated shock. He leans up on one elbow , staring down at me . * If you are going to cry , cry in front of me. I need to know. * * Do you want me to cry ? * * Not particularly. I just want to know how you * re feeling. I don * t want you slipping through my fingers. Switch the light off. It * s late , and we both have to work tomorrow. * So here * and still so bossy , but I can * t complain ; he * s in my bed. I don * t quite understand why * maybe I should weep more often in front of him. I switch off the bedside light . * Lie on your side , facing away from me , * he murmurs in the darkness . I roll my eyes in the full knowledge that he can not see me , but I do as I * m told. Gingerly , he moves over and puts his arms around me and pulls me to his chest . * Sleep , baby , * he whispers , and I feel his nose in my hair as he inhales deeply . Holy cow. Christian Grey is sleeping with me , and in the comfort and solace of his arms , I drift into a peaceful sleep . CHAPTER SEVENTEEN The candle flame is too hot. It" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_244: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", am I , Miss Steele ? * I jump awake , and Christian is standing in front of me , his arms crossed , glaring down at me. Oh , shit , caught napping * this is not going to be good. His eyes soften as I gaze up at him . * Stand up , * he orders . I climb warily to my feet. He stares at me and his mouth quirks up . * You * re shattered , aren * t you ? * I nod shyly , flushing . * Stamina , Miss Steele. * He narrows his eyes at me. * I haven * t had my fill of you yet. Hold out your hands in front as if you * re praying. * I blink at him. Praying ! Praying for you to go easy on me. I do as I * m told. He takes a cable tie and fastens it around my wrists , tightening the plastic. Holy hell. My eyes fly to his . * Look familiar ? * he asks , unable to conceal his smile . Jeez * the plastic cable ties. Restocking at Clayton * s ! It all becomes clear. I gape up at him as adrenaline spikes though my body anew. Okay * that * s got my attention * I * m awake now . * I have scissors here. * He holds them up for me to see. * I can cut you out of this in a moment. * I try to pull my wrists apart , testing my bonds , and as I do , the plastic bites into my flesh. It * s sore , but if I relax my wrists they * re fine * the tie is not cutting into my skin . * Come. * He takes my hands and leads me over to the four-poster bed. I notice now that it has dark red sheets on it and a shackle at each corner . He leans down and whispers in my ear , * I want more * much , much more. * And my heartbeat starts pounding again. Oh boy . * But I * ll make this quick. You * re tired. Hold on to the post , * he says . I frown. Not on the bed then ? I find I can part my hands as I grasp the ornately carved wooden post . * Lower , * he orders. * Good. Don * t let go. If you do , I * ll spank you. Understand ? * * Yes , Sir. * * Good. * He stands behind me and grasps my hips , and then quickly lifts me backward so I * m bending forward , holding the post . * Don * t let go , Anastasia , * he warns. * I * m going to fuck you hard from behind. Hold the post to support" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_273: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ", I can * t really feel them * but then again I know they * re there . He straightens my panties and leans forward , and his lips softly kiss my behind . * Stand up , * he orders , and shakily I get to my feet . Oh ! Now I can feel them * sort of. He grasps my hips to steady me while I reestablish my equilibrium . * You okay ? * he asks , his voice stern . * Yes. * * Turn around. * I turn and face him . The balls pull downward and involuntarily I clench around them. The feeling startles me but not in a bad way . * How does that feel ? * he asks . * Strange. * * Strange good or strange bad ? * * Strange good , * I confess , blushing . * Good. * There * s a trace of humor lurking in his eyes . * I want a glass of water. Go and fetch one for me please. * Oh . * And when you come back , I shall put you across my knee. Think about that , Anastasia. * Water ? He wants water * now * why ? As I leave the bedroom , it becomes abundantly clear why he wants me to walk around * as I do , the balls weigh down inside me , massaging me internally. It * s such a weird feeling and not entirely unpleasant. In fact , my breathing accelerates as I stretch up for a glass from the kitchen cabinet , and I gasp. Oh my * I may have to keep these. They make me needy , needy for sex . He * s watching me carefully when I return . * Thank you , * he says as he takes the glass from me . Slowly , he takes a sip , then places the glass on his bedside table. There * s a foil packet , ready and waiting , like me. And I know he * s doing this to build the anticipation. My heart has picked up a beat. He turns his bright gray gaze to mine . * Come. Stand beside me. Like last time. * I sidle up to him , my blood thrumming through my body , and this time * I * m excited. Aroused . * Ask me , * he says softly . I frown. Ask him what ? * Ask me , * his voice is slightly harder . What ? How was your water ? What does he want ? * Ask me , Anastasia. I won * t say it again. * And there * s such a threat implicit in his words , and it dawns on me. He wants me to ask him to spank me . Holy shit. He * s looking at me expectantly , his eyes growing colder." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_325: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "sloshing everywhere , mirroring what * s happening inside me * and I just don * t care . I love this man. I love his passion , the effect I have on him. I love that he * s flown so far to see me. I love that he cares about me * he cares. It * s so unexpected , so fulfilling. He is mine , and I am his . * That * s right , baby , * he breathes . And I come , my orgasm ripping through me , a turbulent , passionate apogee that devours me whole. And suddenly Christian crushes me to him * his arms wrapped around my back as he finds his release . * Ana , baby ! * he cries , and it * s a wild invocation , stirring and touching the depths of my soul . * * * WE LIE STARING AT each other , gray eyes into blue , face-to-face , in the super king bed , both hugging our pillows on our fronts. Naked. Not touching. Just looking and admiring , covered by the sheet . * Do you want to sleep ? * Christian asks , his voice soft and full of concern . * No. I * m not tired. * I feel strangely energized. It * s been so good to talk * I don * t want to stop . * What do you want to do ? * he asks . * Talk. * He smiles. * About what ? * * Stuff. * * What stuff ? * * You. * * What about me ? * * What * s your favorite film ? * He grins. * Today , it * s The Piano. * His grin is infectious . * Of course. Silly me. Such a sad , exciting score , which no doubt you can play ? So many accomplishments , Mr. Grey. * * And the greatest one is you , Miss Steele. * * So I am number seventeen. * He frowns at me not comprehending . * Seventeen ? * * Number of women you * ve , um * had sex with. * His lips quirk up , his eyes shining with incredulity . * Not exactly. * * You said fifteen. * My confusion is obvious . * I was referring to the number of women in my playroom. I thought that * s what you meant. You didn * t ask me how many women I * d had sex with. * * Oh. * Holy shit * there * s more * How many ? I gape at him. * Vanilla ? * * No. You are my one vanilla conquest. * He shakes his head , still grinning at me . Why does he find this funny ? And why am I grinning back at him like an idiot ? * I can * t" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_328: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "the sidelight. * His voice is quiet . * No , * I groan . * I want to chase the dawn with you , * he says , kissing my face , my eyelids , the tip of my nose , my mouth , and I open my eyes. The sidelight is on. * Good morning , beautiful , * he murmurs . I groan , and he smiles. * You are not a morning person , * he murmurs . Through the haze of light , I squint and see Christian leaning over me , smiling. Amused. Amused at me. Dressed ! In black . * I thought you wanted sex , * I grumble . * Anastasia , I always want sex with you. It * s heartwarming to know that you feel the same , * he says dryly . I gaze at him as my eyes adjust to the light , but he still looks amused * thank heavens . * Of course I do , just not when it * s so late. * * It * s not late , it * s early. Come on * up you go. We * re going out. I * ll take a rain check on the sex. * * I was having such a nice dream , * I whine . * Dream about what ? * he asks patiently . * You. * I blush . * What was I doing this time ? * * Trying to feed me strawberries. * His lips twitch with a trace of a smile. * Dr. Flynn could have a field day with that. Up * get dressed. Don * t bother to shower , we can do that later. * We ! I sit up , and the sheet pools at my waist , revealing my body. He stands to give me room , his eyes dark . * What time is it ? * * Five thirty in the morning. * * Feels like three a.m. * * We don * t have much time. I let you sleep as long as possible. Come. * * Can * t I have a shower ? * He sighs . * If you have a shower , I * ll want one with you , and you and I know what will happen then * the day will just go. Come. * He * s excited. Like a small boy , he * s iridescent with anticipation and excitement. It makes me smile . * What are we doing ? * * It * s a surprise. I told you. * I can * t help but grin up at him. * Okay. * I clamber off the bed and search for my clothes. Of course they are neatly folded on the chair beside my bed. He * s laid out a pair of his jersey boxer briefs , too * Ralph Lauren , no less. I" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_338: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "I * m out , he grabs me and holds me flush against his body. Suddenly his hand is in my hair , tugging it so my head tips back , and his other hand travels down to the base of my spine. He kisses me , long , hard , and passionately , his tongue in my mouth. His breathing is mounting , his ardor * Holy cow * his erection * we * re in a field. But I don * t care. My hands twist in his hair , anchoring him to me. I want him , here , now , on the ground. He breaks away and gazes down at me , his eyes now dark and luminous in the early morning light , full of raw , arrogant sensuality. Wow. He takes my breath away . * Breakfast , * he whispers , making it sound deliciously erotic . How can he make bacon and eggs sound like forbidden fruit ? It * s an extraordinary skill. He turns , clasping my hand , and we head back toward the car . * What about the glider ? * * Someone will take care of that , * he says dismissively. * We * ll eat now. * His tone is unequivocal . Food ! He * s talking food , when really all I want is him . * Come. * He smiles . I have never seen him like this , and it * s a joy to behold. I find myself walking beside him , hand in hand , with a stupid , goofy grin plastered on my face. It reminds me of when I was ten and spent the day at Disneyland with Ray. It was a perfect day , and this is sure shaping out to be the same . BACK IN THE CAR , as we head back along Interstate 95 toward Savannah , my phone alarm goes off. Oh yes * my pill . * What * s that ? * Christian asks , curious , glancing at me . I fumble in my purse for the packet . * Alarm for my pill , * I mutter as my cheeks flush . His lips quirk up . * Good , well done. I hate condoms. * I flush some more. He * s as patronizing as ever . * I like that you introduced me to Mark as your girlfriend , * I murmur . * Isn * t that what you are ? * He raises an eyebrow . * Am I ? I thought you wanted a submissive. * * So did I , Anastasia , and I do. But I * ve told you , I want more , too. * Oh my. He * s coming around , and hope surges through me , leaving me breathless . * I * m very happy that you want more , * I whisper ." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_355: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "asks sternly . * I said I would go. Do you want to come with me ? * After what feels like a monumental amount of time , he slowly starts washing me again . * What time ? * * The opening is at seven thirty p.m. * He kisses my ear . * Okay. * Inside my subconscious relaxes and then collapses , slumped into an old battered armchair . * Were you nervous about asking me ? * * Yes. How can you tell ? * * Anastasia , your whole body * s just relaxed , * he says dryly . * Well , you just seem to be , um * on the jealous side. * * Yes , I am , * he says darkly. * And you * d do well to remember that. But thank you for asking. We * ll take Charlie Tango. * Oh , the helicopter of course , silly me. More flying * cool ! I grin . * Can I wash you ? * I ask . * I don * t think so , * he murmurs , and he kisses me gently on my neck to take the sting out of his refusal. I pout at the wall as he caresses my back with soap . * Will you ever let me touch you ? * I ask boldly . He stills again , his hand on my behind . * Put your hands on the wall , Anastasia. I * m going to take you again , * he murmurs in my ear as he grabs my hips , and I know that the discussion is over . LATER , WE ARE SEATED at the breakfast bar , dressed in bathrobes , having consumed Mrs. Jones * s rather excellent pasta alle vongole . * More wine ? * Christian asks , gray eyes glowing . * A small glass , please. * The Sancerre is crisp and delicious. Christian pours one for me and one for himself . * How * s the , um * situation that brought you to Seattle ? * I ask tentatively . He frowns. * Out of hand , * he murmurs bitterly. * But nothing for you to worry about , Anastasia. I have plans for you this evening. * * Oh ? * * Yes. I want you ready and waiting in my playroom in fifteen minutes. * He stands and gazes down at me . * You can get ready in your room. Incidentally , the walk-in closet is now full of clothes for you. I don * t want any arguments about them. * He narrows his eyes , daring me to say something. When I don * t , he stalks off to his study . Me ! Argue ? With you , Fifty Shades ? It * s more than my backside * s worth. I sit on the barstool ," -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_364: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "frees my other hand , gently pulls the mask from my eyes , and removes the earbuds. I blink in the dim soft light and stare up into his intense gray gaze . * Hi , * he murmurs . * Hi , yourself , * I breathe shyly back at him. His lips quirk up into a smile , and he leans down and kisses me softly . * Well done , you , * he whispers. * Turn over. * Holy fuck * what * s he going to do now ? His eyes soften . * I * m just going to rub your shoulders. * * Oh * okay. * I roll stiffly onto my front. I am so tired. Christian sits astride me and starts to massage my shoulders. I groan loudly * he has such strong , knowing fingers. Leaning down , he kisses my head . * What was that music ? * I mumble almost inarticulately . * It * s called Spem in Alium , a forty-part motet by Thomas Tallis. * * It was * overwhelming. * * I * ve always wanted to fuck to it. * * Not another first , Mr. Grey ? * * Indeed , Miss Steele. * I groan again as his fingers work their magic on my shoulders . * Well , it * s the first time I * ve fucked to it , too , * I murmur sleepily . * Hmm * you and I , we * re giving each other many firsts. * His voice is matter-of-fact . * What did I say to you in my sleep , Chris * er , Sir ? * His hands pause their ministrations for a moment . * You said lots of things , Anastasia. You talked about cages and strawberries * that you wanted more * and that you missed me. * Oh , thank heavens for that . * Is that all ? * The relief in my voice is evident . Christian stops his heavenly massage and shifts so that he * s lying beside me , his head propped up on his elbow. He * s frowning . * What did you think you * d said ? * Oh crap . * That I thought you were ugly , conceited , and that you were hopeless in bed. * The crease on his brow deepens . * Well , naturally I am all those things , and now you * ve got me really intrigued. What are you hiding from me , Miss Steele ? * I blink at him innocently. * I * m not hiding anything. * * Anastasia , you are a hopeless liar. * * I thought you were going to make me giggle after sex ; this isn * t doing it for me. * His lips quirk up. * I can * t tell jokes. * * Mr. Grey" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_372: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious , but he * s lost * somewhere in his darkness. His eyes are wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him , join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light . * Show me , * I whisper . * Show you ? * * Show me how much it can hurt. * * What ? * * Punish me. I want to know how bad it can get. * Christian steps back away from me , completely confused . * You would try ? * * Yes. I said I would. * But I have an ulterior motive. If I do this for him , maybe he will let me touch him . He blinks. * Ana , you * re so confusing. * * I * m confused , too. I * m trying to work this out. And you and I will know , once and for all , if I can do this. If I can handle this , then maybe you * * My words fail me , and his eyes widen again. He knows I am referring to the touch thing. For a moment , he looks torn , but then a steely resolve settles on his features , and he narrows his eyes , gazing at me speculatively as if weighing up alternatives . Abruptly , he clasps my arm in a firm grip and turns , leading me out of the great room , up the stairs , and to the playroom. Pleasure and pain , reward and punishment * his words from so long ago echo through my mind . * I * ll show you how bad it can be , and you can make your own mind up. * He pauses by the door. * Are you ready for this ? * I nod , my mind made up , and I * m vaguely lightheaded , faint as all the blood leaves my face . He opens the door and , still grasping my arm , grabs what looks like a belt from the rack beside the door , then leads me over to the red leather bench in the far corner of the room . * Bend over the bench , * he murmurs softly . Okay. I can do this. I bend over the smooth soft leather. He * s left my bathrobe on. In a quiet part of my brain , I * m vaguely surprised that he hasn * t made me take it off. Holy fuck , this is going to hurt * I know . * We * re here because you said yes , Anastasia. And you ran from me. I am going to hit you six times , and you will count with me. * Why the hell doesn * t he just get on with it ? He always makes such" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/fiftyshades/yes/yes_fifty_500_87: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | "I * m going to make love to you , now. * * Oh. * The floor has fallen away. I * m a situation. I * m holding my breath . * That * s if you want to , I mean , I don * t want to push my luck. * * I thought you didn * t make love. I thought you fucked hard. * I swallow , my mouth suddenly dry . He gives me a wicked grin , the effects of which travel all the way down there . * I can make an exception , or maybe combine the two , we * ll see. I really want to make love to you. Please , come to bed with me. I want our arrangement to work , but you really need to have some idea what you * re getting yourself into. We can start your training tonight * with the basics. This doesn * t mean I * ve come over all hearts and flowers ; it * s a means to an end , but one that I want , and hopefully you do , too. * His gaze is intense . I flush * oh my * wishes do come true . * But I haven * t done all the things you require from your list of rules. * My voice is all breathy , hesitant . * Forget about the rules. Forget about all those details for tonight. I want you. I * ve wanted you since you fell into my office , and I know you want me. You wouldn * t be sitting here calmly discussing punishment and hard limits if you didn * t. Please , Ana , spend the night with me. * He holds his hand out to me , his eyes are bright , fervent * excited , and I put my hand in his. He pulls me up and into his arms so I can feel the length of his body against mine , this swift action taking me by surprise. He runs his fingers around the nape of my neck , winds my ponytail around his wrist , and gently pulls so I * m forced to look up at him. He gazes down at me . * You are one brave young woman , * he whispers. * I am in awe of you. * His words are like some kind of incendiary device ; my blood flames. He leans down and kisses my lips gently , and he sucks at my lower lip . * I want to bite this lip , * he murmurs against my mouth , and carefully he tugs at it with his teeth. I moan , and he smiles . * Please , Ana , let me make love to you. * * Yes , * I whisper , because that * s why I * m here. 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