├── .gitattributes ├── .github └── workflows │ └── python-package.yml ├── .gitignore ├── Procfile ├── README.md ├── app.py ├── posts.db ├── projects └── keras_mnist.h5 ├── requirements.txt ├── static ├── css │ ├── card.css │ ├── post.css │ ├── present.css │ ├── projects │ │ └── times.css │ ├── slider.css │ └── styles.css ├── img │ ├── error.jpg │ ├── favicons.png │ ├── games │ │ ├── atari.png │ │ ├── mine.png │ │ ├── pong.png │ │ └── snake.png │ ├── logo.png │ ├── post │ │ ├── apoc.jfif │ │ ├── ava.jfif │ │ ├── blank.jfif │ │ ├── cesar.jfif │ │ ├── check.jfif │ │ ├── cube.jpg │ │ ├── echo.png │ │ ├── end.png │ │ ├── feel.jfif │ │ ├── fine.jfif │ │ ├── fire.png │ │ ├── hero.png │ │ ├── iron.jpg │ │ ├── liam.jfif │ │ ├── light.jfif │ │ ├── lion.jfif │ │ ├── main.jpg │ │ ├── pic.jpg │ │ ├── pose.jfif │ │ ├── real.jfif │ │ └── viva.jfif │ ├── prof.jpg │ ├── projects │ │ ├── digit.png │ │ └── times.png │ └── sketch.jpg └── js │ ├── clocktime.js │ ├── games │ ├── atari.js │ ├── mine.js │ ├── pong.js │ └── snake.js │ ├── projects │ ├── draw.js │ └── times.js │ ├── quote.js │ └── quotes.txt └── templates ├── 404.html ├── about.html ├── addvideo.html ├── admin.html ├── base.html ├── config.json ├── delete.html ├── deletegame.html ├── deletevideo.html ├── edit.html ├── editblog.html ├── editgame.html ├── editor.html ├── editvideo.html ├── games ├── fullsc.html └── playgame.html ├── index.html ├── play.html ├── postblog.html ├── projects.html ├── projects ├── digit.html └── times.html ├── upload.html └── video.html /.gitattributes: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # Auto detect text files and perform LF normalization 2 | * text=auto 3 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /.github/workflows/python-package.yml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # This workflow will install Python dependencies, run tests and lint with a variety of Python versions 2 | # For more information see: https://help.github.com/actions/language-and-framework-guides/using-python-with-github-actions 3 | 4 | name: Python package 5 | 6 | on: 7 | push: 8 | branches: [ master ] 9 | pull_request: 10 | branches: [ master ] 11 | 12 | jobs: 13 | build: 14 | 15 | runs-on: ubuntu-latest 16 | strategy: 17 | matrix: 18 | python-version: [3.5, 3.6, 3.7, 3.8] 19 | 20 | steps: 21 | - uses: actions/checkout@v2 22 | - name: Set up Python ${{ matrix.python-version }} 23 | uses: actions/setup-python@v2 24 | with: 25 | python-version: ${{ matrix.python-version }} 26 | - name: Install dependencies 27 | run: | 28 | python -m pip install --upgrade pip 29 | pip install flake8 pytest 30 | if [ -f requirements.txt ]; then pip install -r requirements.txt; fi 31 | - name: Lint with flake8 32 | run: | 33 | # stop the build if there are Python syntax errors or undefined names 34 | flake8 . --count --select=E9,F63,F7,F82 --show-source --statistics 35 | # exit-zero treats all errors as warnings. The GitHub editor is 127 chars wide 36 | flake8 . --count --exit-zero --max-complexity=10 --max-line-length=127 --statistics 37 | - name: Test with pytest 38 | run: | 39 | pytest 40 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | rough.py 2 | rough.html 3 | requirement.txt 4 | *.pyc 5 | projects/group1-shard1of1.bin 6 | projects/model.json 7 | projects/keras_mnist.h5 8 | __pycache__/digit.cpython-37.pyc 9 | digit.py 10 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /Procfile: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | web: gunicorn app:app 2 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # BlueBlog-web 2 | This is my first web application with flask 3 | If you want to clone and make your own, then consider changing .json file and also resetting the database. 4 | ## Head over here https://blueedgetechno.herokuapp.com/ to see the website 5 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /app.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from flask import Flask, render_template, url_for, redirect, request, jsonify 2 | from flask_sqlalchemy import SQLAlchemy 3 | from datetime import datetime 4 | from werkzeug.utils import secure_filename 5 | import json 6 | import hashlib 7 | import os 8 | import random 9 | 10 | 11 | images = [] 12 | for root, directories, files in os.walk("static/img/post"): 13 | for filename in files: 14 | images.append(filename) 15 | 16 | 17 | def giveme(): 18 | random.shuffle(images) 19 | return random.choice(images) 20 | 21 | 22 | with open("templates/config.json", "r") as c: 23 | para = json.load(c)["para"] 24 | 25 | app = Flask(__name__) 26 | app.config['SECRET_KEY'] = 'ThisIsAwildGameOfSurvival' 27 | app.config['SQLALCHEMY_DATABASE_URI'] = 'sqlite:///posts.db' 28 | db = SQLAlchemy(app) 29 | 30 | 31 | class Posts(db.Model): 32 | id = db.Column(db.Integer, unique=True, primary_key=True) 33 | title = db.Column(db.String(200), nullable=False) 34 | content = db.Column(db.String(600), nullable=False) 35 | date = db.Column(db.DateTime, default=datetime.now) 36 | author = db.Column(db.String(200), default=para['user']) 37 | image = db.Column(db.String(30), default=giveme()) 38 | 39 | def __repr__(self): 40 | return '' % self.id 41 | 42 | 43 | class Games(db.Model): 44 | id = db.Column(db.Integer, unique=True, primary_key=True) 45 | nick = db.Column(db.String(20), nullable=False) 46 | name = db.Column(db.String(20), nullable=False) 47 | dis = db.Column(db.String(200), nullable=False) 48 | 49 | def __repr__(self): 50 | return '' % self.id 51 | 52 | 53 | class Videos(db.Model): 54 | id = db.Column(db.Integer, unique=True, primary_key=True) 55 | title = db.Column(db.String(80), nullable=False) 56 | link = db.Column(db.String(200), nullable=False) 57 | 58 | def __repr__(self): 59 | return '' % self.id 60 | 61 | 62 | def check(s): 63 | z = s.encode('ascii') 64 | return hashlib.sha256(z).hexdigest() == para['key'] 65 | 66 | 67 | def isalready(s): 68 | return s in images 69 | 70 | 71 | @app.errorhandler(404) 72 | def page_not_found(e): 73 | return redirect('/error') 74 | 75 | 76 | @app.route('/') 77 | def index(): 78 | posts = Posts.query.order_by(Posts.date.desc()).all() 79 | tp = para['nofpost'] 80 | last = len(posts) // tp + (len(posts) % tp != 0) 81 | if last == 1: 82 | return render_template('index.html', posts=posts, prev="#", next="#") 83 | 84 | page = request.args.get('page') 85 | try: 86 | page = int(page) 87 | except(Exception): 88 | page = 0 89 | 90 | posts = posts[page * tp:min((page + 1) * tp, len(posts))] 91 | 92 | prev = "?page=" + str(page - 1) if page > 0 else "#" 93 | next = "?page=" + str(page + 1) if page < last - 1 else "#" 94 | 95 | return render_template('index.html', posts=posts, prev=prev, next=next) 96 | 97 | 98 | @app.route('/edit') 99 | def edit(): 100 | posts = Posts.query.order_by(Posts.date.desc()).all() 101 | return render_template('edit.html', posts=posts) 102 | 103 | 104 | @app.route('/editor') 105 | def editor(): 106 | games = Games.query.all() 107 | return render_template('editor.html', games=games) 108 | 109 | 110 | @app.route('/deletegame/', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 111 | def deletegame(id): 112 | try: 113 | game = Games.query.get_or_404(id) 114 | except(Exception): 115 | return redirect('/error') 116 | 117 | if request.method == 'POST': 118 | password = request.form['password'] 119 | if check(password): 120 | try: 121 | try: 122 | os.remove(os.path.join( 123 | 'static/img/games/', game.nick + '.png')) 124 | os.remove(os.path.join( 125 | 'static/js/games/', game.nick + '.js')) 126 | except(Exception): 127 | return redirect('/error') 128 | 129 | db.session.delete(game) 130 | db.session.commit() 131 | return redirect('/editor') 132 | 133 | except(Exception): 134 | return redirect('/error') 135 | else: 136 | return render_template('/deletegame.html', game=game, res=1) 137 | else: 138 | return render_template('deletegame.html', game=game, res=0) 139 | 140 | 141 | @app.route('/editor/', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 142 | def editgame(id): 143 | try: 144 | game = Games.query.get_or_404(id) 145 | except(Exception): 146 | return redirect('/error') 147 | 148 | if request.method == 'POST': 149 | password = request.form['password'] 150 | if check(password): 151 | try: 152 | os.remove(os.path.join( 153 | 'static/img/games/', game.nick + '.png')) 154 | os.remove(os.path.join('static/js/games/', game.nick + '.js')) 155 | except(Exception): 156 | return redirect('/error') 157 | 158 | game.name = request.form['name'] 159 | game.nick = request.form['nick'] 160 | game.dis = request.form['discrip'] 161 | 162 | image = request.files['imagefile'] 163 | jsfile = request.files['jsfile'] 164 | 165 | image.save(os.path.join('static/img/games/', 166 | secure_filename(image.filename))) 167 | jsfile.save(os.path.join('static/js/games/', 168 | secure_filename(jsfile.filename))) 169 | 170 | try: 171 | db.session.commit() 172 | return redirect('/play') 173 | except(Exception): 174 | return redirect('/error') 175 | else: 176 | return render_template('editgame.html', game=game, res=1) 177 | else: 178 | return render_template('editgame.html', game=game, res=0) 179 | 180 | 181 | @app.route('/edit/', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 182 | def editblog(id): 183 | try: 184 | post = Posts.query.get_or_404(id) 185 | except(Exception): 186 | return redirect('/error') 187 | 188 | if request.method == 'POST': 189 | post.title = request.form['title'] 190 | post.content = request.form['content'].lstrip(' ') 191 | password = request.form['password'] 192 | if check(password): 193 | try: 194 | db.session.commit() 195 | return redirect('/') 196 | except(Exception): 197 | return redirect('/error') 198 | else: 199 | return render_template('/editblog.html', post=post, res=1) 200 | else: 201 | return render_template('editblog.html', post=post, res=0) 202 | 203 | 204 | @app.route('/delete/', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 205 | def delete(id): 206 | try: 207 | post = Posts.query.get_or_404(id) 208 | except(Exception): 209 | return redirect('/error') 210 | 211 | if request.method == 'POST': 212 | password = request.form['password'] 213 | if check(password): 214 | try: 215 | db.session.delete(post) 216 | db.session.commit() 217 | return redirect('/edit') 218 | except(Exception): 219 | return redirect('/error') 220 | else: 221 | return render_template('/delete.html', post=post, res=1) 222 | else: 223 | return render_template('delete.html', post=post, res=0) 224 | 225 | 226 | @app.route('/about') 227 | def about(): 228 | return render_template('about.html') 229 | 230 | 231 | @app.route('/add', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 232 | def addvideo(): 233 | if request.method == 'POST': 234 | title = request.form['title'] 235 | link = request.form['link'] 236 | password = request.form['password'] 237 | if check(password): 238 | newvideo = Videos( 239 | title=title, link="https://www.youtube.com/embed/" + link) 240 | try: 241 | db.session.add(newvideo) 242 | db.session.commit() 243 | return redirect('/video') 244 | except(Exception): 245 | return redirect('/error') 246 | else: 247 | return render_template('addvideo.html', res=1) 248 | else: 249 | return render_template('addvideo.html', res=0) 250 | 251 | 252 | @app.route('/video') 253 | def video(): 254 | videos = Videos.query.order_by(Videos.id.desc()).all() 255 | return render_template('video.html', videos=videos) 256 | 257 | 258 | @app.route('/editvideo') 259 | def editvideo(): 260 | videos = Videos.query.order_by(Videos.id.desc()).all() 261 | return render_template('editvideo.html', videos=videos) 262 | 263 | 264 | @app.route('/deletevideo/', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 265 | def deletevideo(id): 266 | try: 267 | video = Videos.query.get_or_404(id) 268 | except(Exception): 269 | return redirect('/error') 270 | 271 | if request.method == 'POST': 272 | password = request.form['password'] 273 | if check(password): 274 | try: 275 | db.session.delete(video) 276 | db.session.commit() 277 | return redirect('/editvideo') 278 | except(Exception): 279 | return redirect('/error') 280 | else: 281 | return render_template('/deletevideo.html', video=video, res=1) 282 | else: 283 | return render_template('deletevideo.html', video=video, res=0) 284 | 285 | 286 | @app.route('/play') 287 | def menu(): 288 | games = Games.query.all() 289 | return render_template('play.html', games=games) 290 | 291 | 292 | @app.route('/upload', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 293 | def upload(): 294 | if request.method == 'POST': 295 | password = request.form['password'] 296 | name = request.form['name'] 297 | nick = request.form['nick'] 298 | dis = request.form['discrip'] 299 | 300 | if check(password): 301 | try: 302 | image = request.files['imagefile'] 303 | jsfile = request.files['jsfile'] 304 | image.save(os.path.join('static/img/games/', 305 | secure_filename(image.filename))) 306 | jsfile.save(os.path.join('static/js/games/', 307 | secure_filename(jsfile.filename))) 308 | newgame = Games(name=name, nick=nick, dis=dis) 309 | db.session.add(newgame) 310 | db.session.commit() 311 | return redirect('/play') 312 | except(Exception): 313 | return redirect('/error') 314 | else: 315 | return render_template('upload.html', res=1) 316 | else: 317 | return render_template('upload.html', res=0) 318 | 319 | 320 | @app.route('/error') 321 | def error(): 322 | return render_template('404.html') 323 | 324 | 325 | @app.route('/post', methods=['GET', 'POST']) 326 | def post(): 327 | if request.method == 'POST': 328 | title = request.form['title'] 329 | content = request.form['content'] 330 | password = request.form['password'] 331 | random_check = request.form.get('random') 332 | if check(password): 333 | content = content.lstrip(' ') 334 | if not random_check: 335 | try: 336 | image = request.files['postimage'] 337 | if isalready(image.filename): 338 | return render_template('/postblog.html', res=0, res2=1) 339 | 340 | image.save(os.path.join('static/img/post/', 341 | secure_filename(image.filename))) 342 | except(Exception): 343 | return redirect('/error') 344 | 345 | newpost = Posts(title=title, content=content, 346 | image=image.filename) 347 | else: 348 | newpost = Posts(title=title, content=content) 349 | 350 | try: 351 | db.session.add(newpost) 352 | db.session.commit() 353 | return redirect('/') 354 | except(Exception): 355 | return redirect('/error') 356 | else: 357 | return render_template('/postblog.html', res=1, res2=0) 358 | else: 359 | return render_template('/postblog.html', res=0, res2=0) 360 | 361 | 362 | @app.route('/admin/') 363 | def admin(): 364 | return render_template('admin.html') 365 | 366 | 367 | @app.route('/play/') 368 | def play(id): 369 | try: 370 | game = Games.query.get_or_404(id) 371 | except(Exception): 372 | return redirect('/error') 373 | 374 | return render_template('games/playgame.html', game=game) 375 | 376 | 377 | @app.route('/play/full/') 378 | def playfull(id): 379 | try: 380 | game = Games.query.get_or_404(id) 381 | except(Exception): 382 | return redirect('/error') 383 | 384 | return render_template('games/fullsc.html', game=game) 385 | 386 | 387 | @app.route("/js/") 388 | def index_js(file): 389 | with open("static/js/" + file, "r") as f: 390 | data = f.read() 391 | 392 | return data 393 | 394 | 395 | @app.route('/projects/') 396 | def project(projectname): 397 | return render_template("projects/"+projectname+".html") 398 | 399 | 400 | @app.route('/projects') 401 | def projectmenu(): 402 | return render_template("projects.html") 403 | 404 | 405 | if __name__ == '__main__': 406 | app.run(debug=True) 407 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /posts.db: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/blueedgetechno/BlueBlog/1a400373dd9325298892a20e65194ae71110dcd9/posts.db -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /projects/keras_mnist.h5: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/blueedgetechno/BlueBlog/1a400373dd9325298892a20e65194ae71110dcd9/projects/keras_mnist.h5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /requirements.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | Click==7.0 2 | Flask==1.1.1 3 | Flask-SQLAlchemy==2.4.0 4 | gunicorn==19.9.0 5 | itsdangerous==1.1.0 6 | Jinja2==2.10.1 7 | MarkupSafe==1.1.1 8 | SQLAlchemy==1.3.3 9 | Werkzeug==0.15.4 10 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/card.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | .container{ 2 | display: flex; 3 | flex-flow: row wrap; 4 | align-content: space-between; 5 | justify-content: space-between; 6 | } 7 | 8 | body[data-theme="light"] .card{ 9 | background-color: white; 10 | vertical-align: middle; 11 | max-width: 600px; 12 | max-height: 500px; 13 | margin-left: 20px; 14 | margin-right: 20px; 15 | margin-top: 60px; 16 | margin-bottom: 60px; 17 | padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px; 18 | text-align:center; 19 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #888888; 20 | border-radius: 15px; 21 | transition: 0.5s; 22 | } 23 | 24 | body[data-theme="dark"] .card{ 25 | background-color: #1e1e1e; 26 | vertical-align: middle; 27 | max-width: 600px; 28 | max-height: 500px; 29 | margin-left: 20px; 30 | margin-right: 20px; 31 | margin-top: 60px; 32 | margin-bottom: 60px; 33 | padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px; 34 | text-align:center; 35 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #070707; 36 | border-radius: 15px; 37 | transition: 0.5s; 38 | } 39 | 40 | body[data-theme="dark"] .card h3{ 41 | color: white; 42 | } 43 | 44 | body[data-theme="light"] .card:hover{ 45 | border-radius: 15px; 46 | box-shadow: 5px 10px 20px #888888; 47 | transform: scale(1.10) translateZ(0); 48 | transition: 0.5s; 49 | } 50 | 51 | body[data-theme="dark"] .card:hover{ 52 | border-radius: 15px; 53 | box-shadow: 5px 10px 20px #070707; 54 | transform: scale(1.10) translateZ(0); 55 | transition: 0.5s; 56 | } 57 | 58 | .card img{ 59 | border: 1px solid #555; 60 | border-radius: 4%; 61 | } 62 | .card:hover img{ 63 | transform: scale(1) translateZ(0); 64 | transition: 0.5s; 65 | } 66 | 67 | body[data-theme="light"] .video{ 68 | vertical-align: middle; 69 | max-width: 560px; 70 | max-height: 400px; 71 | margin: 0 auto; 72 | margin-top: 60px; 73 | margin-bottom: 60px; 74 | padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px; 75 | text-align:center; 76 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #888888; 77 | border-radius: 15px; 78 | } 79 | 80 | body[data-theme="dark"] .video{ 81 | vertical-align: middle; 82 | max-width: 560px; 83 | max-height: 400px; 84 | margin: 0 auto; 85 | margin-top: 60px; 86 | margin-bottom: 60px; 87 | padding: 10px 10px 10px 10px; 88 | text-align:center; 89 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #070707; 90 | border-radius: 15px; 91 | } 92 | 93 | body[data-theme="light"] .video #video-title{ 94 | color: #333; 95 | transition: 0.5s; 96 | } 97 | 98 | body[data-theme="dark"] .video #video-title{ 99 | color: #fff; 100 | transition: 0.5s; 101 | } 102 | 103 | .video #video-title:hover{ 104 | color: #1e40ff; 105 | transform: scale(1.10) translateZ(0); 106 | transition: 0.5s; 107 | } 108 | 109 | .projectlink img{ 110 | width: 560px; 111 | border-radius: 10px; 112 | } 113 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/post.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | body[data-theme="light"] #check { 2 | width: 12%; 3 | color: white; 4 | background-color: #f6a623; 5 | border: none; 6 | font-weight: bold; 7 | font-size: 16px; 8 | padding: 10px; 9 | cursor: pointer; 10 | box-sizing: border-box; 11 | border: 3px solid #e1882d; 12 | border-radius: 24px; 13 | box-shadow: 3px 3px 9px #888888; 14 | transition: 0.5s; 15 | } 16 | 17 | body[data-theme="light"] #check:active { 18 | box-shadow: 2px 2px 7px #888888; 19 | font-size: 15px; 20 | transform: scale(0.9) translateZ(0); 21 | transition: 0.5s; 22 | } 23 | 24 | body[data-theme="dark"] #check { 25 | width: 12%; 26 | color: white; 27 | background-color: #f6a623; 28 | border: none; 29 | font-weight: bold; 30 | font-size: 16px; 31 | padding: 10px; 32 | cursor: pointer; 33 | box-sizing: border-box; 34 | border: 3px solid #e1882d; 35 | border-radius: 24px; 36 | box-shadow: 3px 3px 9px #0c0c0c; 37 | transition: 0.5s; 38 | } 39 | 40 | body[data-theme="dark"] #check:active { 41 | box-shadow: 2px 2px 7px #0c0c0c; 42 | font-size: 15px; 43 | transform: scale(0.9) translateZ(0); 44 | transition: 0.5s; 45 | } 46 | 47 | #check, select { 48 | outline: none; 49 | } 50 | 51 | .card { 52 | background-color: #1abc9c; 53 | color: white; 54 | vertical-align: middle; 55 | max-width: 500px; 56 | max-height: 500px; 57 | margin: 0 auto; 58 | margin-top: 60px; 59 | margin-bottom: 60px; 60 | padding: 5px; 61 | text-align: center; 62 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #888888; 63 | border-radius: 15px; 64 | transition: 0.5s; 65 | } 66 | 67 | body[data-theme="light"] .inputbox { 68 | font-family: inherit; 69 | font-size: 15px; 70 | font-weight: bold; 71 | color: inherit; 72 | width: 70%; 73 | padding: 14px 14px 14px 14px; 74 | box-sizing: border-box; 75 | border: 5px solid #12976c; 76 | border-radius: 25px; 77 | } 78 | 79 | 80 | body[data-theme="light"] .inputbox, select { 81 | color: #1e1e1e; 82 | outline: none; 83 | } 84 | 85 | body[data-theme="light"] .contentbox { 86 | font-family: inherit; 87 | font-size: 15px; 88 | font-weight: bold; 89 | color: inherit; 90 | width: 70%; 91 | padding: 24px 14px 24px 14px; 92 | word-wrap: break-word; 93 | box-sizing: border-box; 94 | border: 5px solid #12976c; 95 | border-radius: 25px; 96 | } 97 | 98 | body[data-theme="light"] .contentbox, select { 99 | color: #1e1e1e; 100 | outline: none; 101 | } 102 | 103 | body[data-theme="dark"] .inputbox { 104 | background-color: #1e1e1e; 105 | font-family: inherit; 106 | font-size: 15px; 107 | font-weight: bold; 108 | color: inherit; 109 | width: 70%; 110 | padding: 14px 14px 14px 14px; 111 | box-sizing: border-box; 112 | border: 5px solid #12976c; 113 | border-radius: 25px; 114 | } 115 | 116 | body[data-theme="dark"] .inputbox, select { 117 | color: white; 118 | outline: none; 119 | } 120 | 121 | body[data-theme="dark"] .contentbox { 122 | background-color: #1e1e1e; 123 | font-family: inherit; 124 | font-size: 15px; 125 | font-weight: bold; 126 | color: inherit; 127 | width: 70%; 128 | padding: 24px 14px 24px 14px; 129 | word-wrap: break-word; 130 | box-sizing: border-box; 131 | border: 5px solid #12976c; 132 | border-radius: 25px; 133 | } 134 | 135 | body[data-theme="dark"] .contentbox, select { 136 | color: white; 137 | outline: none; 138 | } 139 | 140 | .checkbox { 141 | width: 1em; 142 | height: 1em; 143 | vertical-align: middle; 144 | cursor: pointer; 145 | } 146 | 147 | .upload-btn-wrapper { 148 | position: relative; 149 | overflow: hidden; 150 | display: inline-block; 151 | } 152 | 153 | .btn { 154 | border: 2px solid #e1882d; 155 | color: white; 156 | margin: 10px; 157 | background-color: #f6a623; 158 | padding: 8px 20px; 159 | border-radius: 8px; 160 | font-size: 20px; 161 | font-weight: bold; 162 | } 163 | 164 | .upload-btn-wrapper input[type=file] { 165 | font-size: 100px; 166 | position: absolute; 167 | left: 0; 168 | top: 0; 169 | opacity: 0; 170 | } 171 | 172 | .about-author h1 { 173 | font-size: 20px; 174 | text-align: center; 175 | margin: 20px 0 20px; 176 | } 177 | 178 | .avatar-upload { 179 | position: relative; 180 | max-width: 205px; 181 | margin: 30px auto; 182 | } 183 | 184 | .avatar-upload .avatar-edit { 185 | position: absolute; 186 | right: 12px; 187 | z-index: 1; 188 | top: 10px; 189 | } 190 | 191 | .avatar-upload .avatar-edit input { 192 | display: none; 193 | } 194 | 195 | .avatar-upload .avatar-edit input+label { 196 | display: inline-block; 197 | width: 34px; 198 | height: 34px; 199 | margin-bottom: 0; 200 | border-radius: 100%; 201 | background: #ffffff; 202 | border: 1px solid transparent; 203 | box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.12); 204 | cursor: pointer; 205 | font-weight: normal; 206 | transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; 207 | } 208 | 209 | .avatar-upload .avatar-edit input+label:hover { 210 | background: #f1f1f1; 211 | border-color: #d6d6d6; 212 | } 213 | 214 | .avatar-upload .avatar-edit input+label:after { 215 | content: "\f040"; 216 | font-family: "FontAwesome"; 217 | color: #757575; 218 | position: absolute; 219 | top: 10px; 220 | left: 0; 221 | right: 0; 222 | text-align: center; 223 | margin: auto; 224 | } 225 | 226 | .avatar-upload .avatar-preview { 227 | width: 192px; 228 | height: 192px; 229 | position: relative; 230 | border-radius: 100%; 231 | border: 6px solid #828483; 232 | box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1); 233 | } 234 | 235 | .avatar-upload .avatar-preview>div { 236 | width: 100%; 237 | height: 100%; 238 | border-radius: 100%; 239 | background-size: cover; 240 | background-repeat: no-repeat; 241 | background-position: center; 242 | } 243 | 244 | #snackbar, #snackbar2 { 245 | visibility: hidden; 246 | min-width: 250px; 247 | margin-left: -125px; 248 | text-align: center; 249 | border-radius: 15px; 250 | padding: 16px; 251 | position: fixed; 252 | z-index: 1; 253 | left: 50%; 254 | bottom: 30px; 255 | } 256 | 257 | #snackbar.show, #snackbar2.show { 258 | visibility: visible; 259 | -webkit-animation: fadein 0.5s, fadeout 0.5s 2.5s; 260 | animation: fadein 0.5s, fadeout 0.5s 2.5s; 261 | } 262 | 263 | @-webkit-keyframes fadein { 264 | from { 265 | bottom: 0; 266 | opacity: 0; 267 | } 268 | 269 | to { 270 | bottom: 30px; 271 | opacity: 1; 272 | } 273 | } 274 | 275 | @keyframes fadein { 276 | from { 277 | bottom: 0; 278 | opacity: 0; 279 | } 280 | 281 | to { 282 | bottom: 30px; 283 | opacity: 1; 284 | } 285 | } 286 | 287 | @-webkit-keyframes fadeout { 288 | from { 289 | bottom: 30px; 290 | opacity: 1; 291 | } 292 | 293 | to { 294 | bottom: 0; 295 | opacity: 0; 296 | } 297 | } 298 | 299 | @keyframes fadeout { 300 | from { 301 | bottom: 30px; 302 | opacity: 1; 303 | } 304 | 305 | to { 306 | bottom: 0; 307 | opacity: 0; 308 | } 309 | } 310 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/present.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | .projectblog h1 { 2 | text-align: left; 3 | } 4 | 5 | #updated { 6 | text-align: right; 7 | margin-right: 9%; 8 | } 9 | 10 | .projectblog hr { 11 | width: 92%; 12 | margin-left: 0%; 13 | } 14 | 15 | .main{ 16 | text-align:center; 17 | } 18 | 19 | .pager{ 20 | margin-left: 120px !important; 21 | margin-right: 120px !important; 22 | } 23 | 24 | body[data-theme="light"] .guesscard{ 25 | vertical-align: middle; 26 | max-width: 560px; 27 | max-height: 400px; 28 | margin: 0 auto; 29 | margin-top: 60px; 30 | margin-bottom: 60px; 31 | text-align:center; 32 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #888888; 33 | border-radius: 15px; 34 | } 35 | 36 | body[data-theme="dark"] .guesscard{ 37 | vertical-align: middle; 38 | max-width: 560px; 39 | max-height: 400px; 40 | margin: 0 auto; 41 | margin-top: 60px; 42 | margin-bottom: 60px; 43 | text-align:center; 44 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 9px #070707; 45 | border-radius: 15px; 46 | } 47 | 48 | body[data-theme="light"] .guesscard #guessvalue{ 49 | color: #333; 50 | } 51 | 52 | body[data-theme="dark"] .guesscard #guessvalue{ 53 | color: #fff; 54 | } 55 | 56 | .guesscard{ 57 | padding: 40px; 58 | text-align: center; 59 | } 60 | 61 | #drawArea{ 62 | width: 504px; 63 | height: 504px; 64 | margin-left: 24%; 65 | border: 4px solid #888; 66 | } 67 | 68 | .youtubevideo{ 69 | width: 100%; 70 | display: flex; 71 | flex-direction: column; 72 | align-items: center; 73 | } 74 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/projects/times.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | .drawcontainer { 2 | display: flex; 3 | flex-direction: column; 4 | align-items: center; 5 | } 6 | 7 | .inputs { 8 | width: 100%; 9 | padding: 50px 0; 10 | display: flex; 11 | flex-direction: column; 12 | align-items: center; 13 | justify-content: space-around; 14 | } 15 | 16 | .sliders{ 17 | display: flex; 18 | flex-direction: row; 19 | align-items: center; 20 | } 21 | 22 | .play{ 23 | width: 40px; 24 | height: 50px; 25 | background: #064ed0; 26 | clip-path: polygon(0 0,0 100%, 100% 50%); 27 | cursor: pointer; 28 | transition: 0.3s; 29 | } 30 | 31 | .play:active{ 32 | transform: scale(1.2) translateZ(0); 33 | transition: 0.3s; 34 | } 35 | 36 | .inputs label{ 37 | width: 300px; 38 | font-size: 1.4em; 39 | padding: 20px; 40 | font-weight: bold; 41 | font-family: monospace; 42 | } 43 | 44 | .inputs input[type=range] { 45 | margin: auto; 46 | width: 500px; 47 | height: 50px; 48 | padding: 24px 0; 49 | outline: none; 50 | background: transparent; 51 | } 52 | 53 | #display { 54 | width: 736px; 55 | } 56 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/slider.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | @use postcss-preset-env { 2 | stage: 0; 3 | } 4 | 5 | #theme{ 6 | background-color: inherit; 7 | color: white; 8 | padding: 3px; 9 | font-size: 26px; 10 | width: 15px; 11 | text-align: center; 12 | text-decoration: none; 13 | float: right; 14 | margin-top: 56px; 15 | margin-left: 15px; 16 | vertical-align: top; 17 | } 18 | 19 | .on-off-toggle { 20 | width: 56px; 21 | height: 24px; 22 | position: relative; 23 | display: inline-block; 24 | float: right; 25 | margin-top: 61px; 26 | margin-left: 40px; 27 | } 28 | 29 | .on-off-toggle__slider { 30 | width: 56px; 31 | height: 24px; 32 | display: block; 33 | border-radius: 34px; 34 | background-color: #21deb9; 35 | transition: 0.4s ease; 36 | } 37 | 38 | .on-off-toggle__slider:before { 39 | content: ''; 40 | display: block; 41 | background-color: #fff; 42 | box-shadow: 0 0 0 1px #949494; 43 | bottom: 3px; 44 | height: 18px; 45 | left: 3px; 46 | position: absolute; 47 | transition: .4s; 48 | width: 18px; 49 | z-index: 5; 50 | border-radius: 100%; 51 | } 52 | 53 | .on-off-toggle__slider:after { 54 | display: block; 55 | line-height: 24px; 56 | text-transform: uppercase; 57 | font-size: 12px; 58 | font-weight: bold; 59 | color: #484848; 60 | padding-left: 26px; 61 | transition: all 0.4s; 62 | } 63 | 64 | .on-off-toggle__input { 65 | position: absolute; 66 | opacity: 0; 67 | } 68 | 69 | .on-off-toggle__input:checked+.on-off-toggle__slider { 70 | background-color: #1e1e1e; 71 | } 72 | 73 | .on-off-toggle__input:checked+.on-off-toggle__slider:before { 74 | transform: translateX(32px); 75 | } 76 | 77 | .on-off-toggle__input:checked+.on-off-toggle__slider:after { 78 | color: #FFFFFF; 79 | padding-left: 8px; 80 | } 81 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/css/styles.css: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | @import url(https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Montserrat:400,700); 2 | 3 | .fa { 4 | background: white; 5 | color: black; 6 | padding: 3px; 7 | font-size: 15px; 8 | width: 15px; 9 | text-align: center; 10 | text-decoration: none; 11 | border-radius: 50%; 12 | margin-right: 5px; 13 | margin-top: 5px; 14 | vertical-align: top; 15 | } 16 | 17 | .fa:hover { 18 | opacity: 0.7; 19 | } 20 | 21 | a[href="#"] { 22 | background: #2f2f2f; 23 | color: white; 24 | font-size: 15px; 25 | } 26 | 27 | body[data-theme="light"] { 28 | background-color: white; 29 | color: #555; 30 | margin: 0; 31 | font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif; 32 | } 33 | 34 | body[data-theme="dark"] { 35 | background-color: #1e1e1e; 36 | color: #eaeaea; 37 | margin: 0; 38 | font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif; 39 | } 40 | 41 | body[data-theme="light"] #header { 42 | background-color: #1abc9c; 43 | height: 150px; 44 | line-height: 150px; 45 | } 46 | 47 | body[data-theme="light"] #header a { 48 | color: white; 49 | text-decoration: none; 50 | text-transform: uppercase; 51 | letter-spacing: 0.1em; 52 | } 53 | 54 | body[data-theme="light"] #header a:hover { 55 | color: #3333; 56 | } 57 | 58 | body[data-theme="dark"] #header { 59 | background-color: #151515; 60 | height: 150px; 61 | line-height: 150px; 62 | } 63 | 64 | body[data-theme="dark"] #header a { 65 | color: white; 66 | text-decoration: none; 67 | text-transform: uppercase; 68 | letter-spacing: 0.1em; 69 | } 70 | 71 | body[data-theme="dark"] #header a:hover { 72 | color: #f6a623; 73 | } 74 | 75 | .container { 76 | max-width: 1000px; 77 | margin: 0 auto; 78 | font-size: 20px; 79 | font-weight: bold; 80 | } 81 | 82 | #header-title { 83 | display: block; 84 | float: left; 85 | } 86 | 87 | #header-nav { 88 | display: block; 89 | float: right; 90 | margin-top: 0; 91 | } 92 | 93 | #header-nav li { 94 | display: inline; 95 | padding-left: 20px; 96 | } 97 | 98 | body[data-theme="light"] #logo { 99 | width: 40px; 100 | height: 40px; 101 | padding: 10px; 102 | margin-top: 42px; 103 | margin-right: 15px; 104 | float: left; 105 | background-color: #1abc9c; 106 | border-radius: 20%; 107 | transition: 0.5s; 108 | } 109 | 110 | body[data-theme="light"] #logo:hover { 111 | background-color: #12c9a5; 112 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 8px #2c9582; 113 | transition: 0.5s; 114 | } 115 | 116 | body[data-theme="dark"] #logo { 117 | width: 40px; 118 | height: 40px; 119 | padding: 10px; 120 | margin-top: 42px; 121 | margin-right: 15px; 122 | float: left; 123 | background-color: #151515; 124 | border-radius: 20%; 125 | transition: 0.5s; 126 | } 127 | 128 | body[data-theme="dark"] #logo:hover { 129 | background-color: #111111; 130 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 8px #1a1a1a; 131 | transition: 0.5s; 132 | } 133 | 134 | .post { 135 | max-width: 900px; 136 | margin-top: 30px; 137 | margin-bottom: 30px; 138 | margin-left: auto; 139 | margin-right: auto; 140 | padding: 60px; 141 | border-radius: 15px; 142 | transition: 0.5s; 143 | } 144 | 145 | body[data-theme="light"] .post:hover { 146 | max-width: 900px; 147 | margin-top: 30px; 148 | margin-bottom: 30px; 149 | margin-left: auto; 150 | margin-right: auto; 151 | padding: 60px; 152 | transform: scale(1.02) translateZ(0); 153 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 12px #aaa; 154 | border-radius: 15px; 155 | transition: 0.5s; 156 | } 157 | 158 | body[data-theme="dark"] .post:hover { 159 | max-width: 900px; 160 | margin-top: 30px; 161 | margin-bottom: 30px; 162 | margin-left: auto; 163 | margin-right: auto; 164 | padding: 60px; 165 | transform: scale(1.02) translateZ(0); 166 | box-shadow: 2px 5px 12px #1a1a1a; 167 | border-radius: 15px; 168 | transition: 0.5s; 169 | } 170 | 171 | 172 | body[data-theme="light"] pre { 173 | font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif; 174 | white-space: pre-wrap; 175 | word-wrap: break-word; 176 | line-height: 1.5; 177 | margin-block-start: 1em; 178 | margin-block-end: 1em; 179 | font-size: 18px; 180 | font-weight: bold; 181 | color: #555; 182 | } 183 | 184 | body[data-theme="dark"] pre { 185 | font-family: 'Montserrat', sans-serif; 186 | white-space: pre-wrap; 187 | word-wrap: break-word; 188 | line-height: 1.5; 189 | margin-block-start: 1em; 190 | margin-block-end: 1em; 191 | font-size: 18px; 192 | font-weight: bold; 193 | color: #f3f3f6; 194 | } 195 | 196 | #hide { 197 | border: none; 198 | color: #555555; 199 | padding: 0 1px 0 1px; 200 | font-weight: bold; 201 | background-color: inherit; 202 | padding: 0; 203 | font-size: 19px; 204 | cursor: pointer; 205 | display: inline-block; 206 | } 207 | 208 | #hide, select { 209 | outline: none; 210 | } 211 | 212 | .about { 213 | max-width: 800px; 214 | margin: 0 auto; 215 | padding: 60px 0; 216 | text-align: center; 217 | } 218 | 219 | .habbits { 220 | text-align: left; 221 | } 222 | 223 | body[data-theme="light"] .things { 224 | color: #0a987c; 225 | } 226 | 227 | body[data-theme="light"] .post-author img { 228 | width: 50px; 229 | height: 50px; 230 | vertical-align: middle; 231 | border-radius: 50%; 232 | border: 4px solid #46f1a2; 233 | } 234 | 235 | body[data-theme="dark"] .things { 236 | color: #f9a55d; 237 | } 238 | 239 | body[data-theme="dark"] .post-author img { 240 | width: 50px; 241 | height: 50px; 242 | vertical-align: middle; 243 | border-radius: 50%; 244 | border: 4px solid #444444; 245 | } 246 | 247 | .post-container { 248 | margin: 0 auto; 249 | font-size: 18px; 250 | font-weight: bold; 251 | } 252 | 253 | body[data-theme="light"] .post-container:nth-child(even) { 254 | background-color: #f2f2f2; 255 | } 256 | 257 | body[data-theme="light"] .about-author img { 258 | width: 200px; 259 | height: 200px; 260 | vertical-align: middle; 261 | border-radius: 50%; 262 | border: 8px solid #25c58a; 263 | } 264 | 265 | body[data-theme="light"] .about-author span { 266 | width: 200px; 267 | height: 200px; 268 | font-weight: bold; 269 | color: #333; 270 | vertical-align: middle; 271 | } 272 | 273 | body[data-theme="dark"] .post-container:nth-child(even) { 274 | background-color: #252525; 275 | } 276 | 277 | body[data-theme="dark"] .about-author img { 278 | width: 200px; 279 | height: 200px; 280 | vertical-align: middle; 281 | border-radius: 50%; 282 | border: 8px solid #292929; 283 | } 284 | 285 | body[data-theme="dark"] .about-author span { 286 | width: 200px; 287 | height: 200px; 288 | font-weight: bold; 289 | color: #d9d9d9; 290 | vertical-align: middle; 291 | } 292 | 293 | .error-author img { 294 | width: 80%; 295 | height: 80%; 296 | vertical-align: middle; 297 | } 298 | 299 | body[data-theme="light"] .error-author span { 300 | width: 200px; 301 | height: 200px; 302 | font-weight: bold; 303 | color: #333; 304 | vertical-align: middle; 305 | } 306 | 307 | body[data-theme="dark"] .error-author span { 308 | width: 200px; 309 | height: 200px; 310 | font-weight: bold; 311 | color: #8da1fc; 312 | vertical-align: middle; 313 | } 314 | 315 | .post-author span { 316 | color: #1abc9c; 317 | margin-left: 16px; 318 | } 319 | 320 | .post-date { 321 | color: #D2D2D2; 322 | font-size: 14px; 323 | font-weight: bold; 324 | text-transform: uppercase; 325 | letter-spacing: 0.1em; 326 | } 327 | 328 | body[data-theme="light"] h1{ 329 | color: #333; 330 | } 331 | 332 | body[data-theme="light"] h2{ 333 | color: #333; 334 | } 335 | 336 | body[data-theme="light"] h3{ 337 | color: #333; 338 | } 339 | 340 | body[data-theme="light"] h4{ 341 | color: #333; 342 | } 343 | 344 | body[data-theme="dark"] h1{ 345 | color: #fff; 346 | } 347 | 348 | body[data-theme="dark"] h2{ 349 | color: #fff; 350 | } 351 | 352 | body[data-theme="dark"] h3{ 353 | color: #fff; 354 | } 355 | 356 | body[data-theme="dark"] h4{ 357 | color: #fff; 358 | } 359 | 360 | p { 361 | line-height: 1.5; 362 | } 363 | 364 | #footer { 365 | background-color: #2f2f2f; 366 | padding: 50px 0; 367 | } 368 | 369 | #footer h4 { 370 | color: white; 371 | text-transform: uppercase; 372 | letter-spacing: 0.1em; 373 | } 374 | 375 | #footer p { 376 | color: white; 377 | } 378 | 379 | .column { 380 | min-width: 300px; 381 | display: inline-block; 382 | vertical-align: top; 383 | } 384 | 385 | a { 386 | color: #1abc9c; 387 | text-decoration: none; 388 | } 389 | 390 | .column #quoteline { 391 | color: #1abc9c; 392 | } 393 | 394 | a:hover { 395 | color: #F6A623; 396 | } 397 | 398 | #icons { 399 | background-color: inherit; 400 | padding: 3px; 401 | font-size: 25px; 402 | width: 25px; 403 | text-align: center; 404 | text-decoration: none; 405 | border-radius: 50%; 406 | margin-right: 15px; 407 | margin-top: 5px; 408 | vertical-align: top; 409 | } 410 | 411 | #icons:hover { 412 | color: black; 413 | } 414 | 415 | .inputbox { 416 | font-family: inherit; 417 | font-size: 15px; 418 | font-weight: bold; 419 | color: inherit; 420 | width: 40%; 421 | padding: 14px 14px 14px 14px; 422 | box-sizing: border-box; 423 | border: 5px solid #12976c; 424 | border-radius: 25px; 425 | } 426 | 427 | .inputbox, select { 428 | outline: none; 429 | } 430 | 431 | .upload, .edit { 432 | display: flex; 433 | align-content: space-between; 434 | justify-content: space-between; 435 | } 436 | 437 | .plate { 438 | min-width: 150px; 439 | min-height: 180px; 440 | } 441 | 442 | .plate::after { 443 | content: ""; 444 | position: absolute; 445 | bottom: 0; 446 | left: 0; 447 | width: 100%; 448 | height: 100%; 449 | transform: scale(0, 0); 450 | transform-origin: top left; 451 | background: #ff22dd; 452 | border-top-left-radius: inherit; 453 | border-top-right-radius: inherit; 454 | border-bottom-right-radius: 60%; 455 | border-bottom-left-radius: inherit; 456 | z-index: -1; 457 | transition: 0.5s; 458 | } 459 | 460 | .plate:hover::after { 461 | transform: scale(1, 1); 462 | color: deepskyblue; 463 | transition: 0.8s; 464 | } 465 | 466 | .plate::before { 467 | content: ""; 468 | position: absolute; 469 | bottom: 0; 470 | left: 0; 471 | width: 100%; 472 | height: 100%; 473 | transform: scale(0, 0); 474 | transform-origin: top left; 475 | background: #9725e2; 476 | border-top-left-radius: inherit; 477 | border-top-right-radius: inherit; 478 | border-bottom-right-radius: 35%; 479 | border-bottom-left-radius: inherit; 480 | z-index: -1; 481 | transition: 0.5s ease; 482 | } 483 | 484 | .plate:hover::before { 485 | transform: scale(1, 1); 486 | color: deepskyblue; 487 | } 488 | 489 | .plate:hover h3 { 490 | color: white; 491 | } 492 | 493 | body[data-theme="light"] .pager { 494 | width: 10%; 495 | color: white; 496 | margin: 40px; 497 | background-color: #20c998; 498 | border: none; 499 | font-weight: bold; 500 | font-size: 16px; 501 | padding: 10px; 502 | cursor: pointer; 503 | box-sizing: border-box; 504 | border: 3px solid #0fbc92; 505 | border-radius: 10px; 506 | box-shadow: 0px 0px 2px #888888; 507 | transition: 0.5s; 508 | } 509 | 510 | body[data-theme="dark"] .pager { 511 | width: 10%; 512 | color: white; 513 | margin: 40px; 514 | background-color: #252525; 515 | border: none; 516 | font-weight: bold; 517 | font-size: 16px; 518 | padding: 10px; 519 | cursor: pointer; 520 | box-sizing: border-box; 521 | border: 3px solid #373131; 522 | border-radius: 10px; 523 | box-shadow: 0px 0px 2px #454444; 524 | transition: 0.5s; 525 | } 526 | 527 | .pager:active { 528 | box-shadow: 2px 2px 7px #888888; 529 | font-size: 15px; 530 | transform: scale(0.9) translateZ(0); 531 | transition: 0.5s; 532 | } 533 | 534 | .pager:hover { 535 | color: white; 536 | } 537 | 538 | .pager, select { 539 | outline: none; 540 | } 541 | 542 | .buttons { 543 | text-align: center; 544 | vertical-align: middle; 545 | display: flex; 546 | 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3 | var hr = now.getHours(),mn=now.getMinutes(),sc=now.getSeconds() 4 | var mer = "AM" 5 | if(hr==0){ 6 | hr=12 7 | } 8 | else if(hr>=12){ 9 | hr=(hr-1)%12+1 10 | mer="PM" 11 | } 12 | var time=hr+" : "+mn+" : "+sc+"   "+mer 13 | document.getElementById('time').innerHTML = time 14 | } 15 | 16 | class Deu{ 17 | constructor(){ 18 | this.i = 0 19 | this.k = 1000 20 | } 21 | done(){ 22 | if(this.i==this.k) return true 23 | else this.i+=1 24 | 25 | return false 26 | } 27 | } 28 | 29 | dr = new Deu() 30 | 31 | function go(){ 32 | if(dr.done()) window.location.href = "/admin" 33 | } 34 | 35 | setInterval(updateClock, 1000); 36 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/games/atari.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | var win = window, 2 | doc = document, 3 | docElem = doc.documentElement, 4 | body = doc.getElementsByTagName('body')[0], 5 | x1 = win.innerWidth || docElem.clientWidth || body.clientWidth, 6 | y1 = win.innerHeight || docElem.clientHeight || body.clientHeight; 7 | 8 | var w = x1 9 | var h = y1 - 10 10 | 11 | function setup() { 12 | createCanvas(w, h); 13 | } 14 | 15 | function f() { 16 | return 2 * Math.round(Math.random()) - 1 17 | } 18 | 19 | 20 | var l = 15, 21 | b = 80, 22 | n = Math.floor(w / b), 23 | m = Math.floor((15 * h) / 580), 24 | r = 15, 25 | spd = 5, 26 | over = 0, 27 | start = 1, 28 | dw = 50, 29 | sc = 0, 30 | ran = m * 10, 31 | init = ran, 32 | tot = n * m, 33 | high = 0, 34 | p = (w % b) / 2, 35 | life = 3, 36 | lp = 25, 37 | ps=36, 38 | pau=0 39 | 40 | class Stick { 41 | constructor(y, b) { 42 | this.y = y 43 | this.b = b 44 | this.x = w / 2 45 | } 46 | draw() { 47 | fill(0) 48 | this.x = min(w - this.b, mouseX) 49 | rect(this.x, this.y, this.b, 12) 50 | } 51 | } 52 | 53 | class Brick { 54 | constructor(x, y, scr, c) { 55 | this.x = x 56 | this.y = y 57 | this.b = b 58 | this.l = l 59 | this.c = c 60 | this.v = 1 61 | this.scr = scr 62 | } 63 | draw() { 64 | noStroke() 65 | fill(this.c) 66 | rect(this.x, this.y, this.b, this.l) 67 | } 68 | inv() { 69 | this.v = 0 70 | sc += this.scr 71 | tot -= 1 72 | if (tot == 0) over = 1 73 | else { 74 | if ((n * m - tot) % Math.round((n * m) / 5) == 0) ball.spd += 1 75 | // console.log(ball.spd) 76 | } 77 | } 78 | } 79 | 80 | class Ball { 81 | constructor(x, y) { 82 | // console.log(x, y) 83 | this.x = x 84 | this.y = y 85 | this.r = r 86 | this.d = [f(), -1] 87 | this.spd = spd 88 | } 89 | draw() { 90 | fill(0) 91 | ellipse(this.x, this.y, this.r) 92 | } 93 | move() { 94 | this.x += this.d[0] * this.spd 95 | this.y += this.d[1] * this.spd 96 | 97 | if (this.y >= st.y - r && this.y <= st.y && this.x >= st.x && this.x <= st.x + st.b) { 98 | this.d[1] = -1 99 | if (this.d[0] * (st.x + st.b / 2 - this.x) > 0) this.d[0] *= -1 100 | } 101 | if (this.y <= this.r) this.d[1] *= -1 102 | if (this.x <= this.r || this.x > w - this.r) this.d[0] *= -1 103 | 104 | if (this.y >= h - this.r) { 105 | life -= 1 106 | pau+=1 107 | if (life == 0) { 108 | over = 1 109 | } else { 110 | this.x = w/2+f()*Math.round(Math.random()*(mouseX)/2) 111 | this.y = h - 60 112 | this.d[0] = f() 113 | this.d[1] = -1 114 | this.draw() 115 | } 116 | } 117 | 118 | } 119 | detect() { 120 | for (var i = 0; i < n * m; i++) { 121 | if (!br[i].v) continue 122 | //Down 123 | if (this.x >= br[i].x && this.x <= br[i].x + br[i].b) { 124 | if (this.y < br[i].y) { 125 | if (br[i].y - this.y <= this.r) { 126 | this.d[1] *= -1 127 | br[i].inv() 128 | } 129 | } else { 130 | if (this.y - br[i].y <= br[i].l + this.r) { 131 | this.d[1] *= -1 132 | br[i].inv() 133 | } 134 | } 135 | } else { 136 | if (this.x <= br[i].x) { 137 | if (br[i].x - this.x <= this.r && this.y >= br[i].y && this.y <= br[i].y + br[i].l) { 138 | this.d[0] *= -1 139 | br[i].inv() 140 | } 141 | } else { 142 | if (this.x - br[i].x <= this.r + br[i].b && this.y >= br[i].y && this.y <= br[i].y + br[i].l) { 143 | this.d[0] *= -1 144 | br[i].inv() 145 | } 146 | } 147 | } 148 | } 149 | } 150 | } 151 | 152 | var st = new Stick(h - 50, 100) 153 | var br = [] 154 | for (var j = 0; j < m; j++) { 155 | p = (w % b) / 2 156 | for (var i = 0; i < n; i++) { 157 | // console.log(ran) 158 | br.push(new Brick(p, dw, ran, init - ran)) 159 | p += b + 1 160 | } 161 | dw += l + 1 162 | ran -= 10 163 | } 164 | 165 | function drawlife() { 166 | var j = lp 167 | for (var i = 0; i < life; i++) { 168 | fill(255, 0, 0) 169 | ellipse(j, lp, 20) 170 | j += lp 171 | } 172 | } 173 | 174 | var ball = new Ball(w / 2, h - 60) 175 | 176 | function draw() { 177 | if(pau%ps){ 178 | pau+=1 179 | } 180 | if(pau%ps>2){ 181 | return 182 | } 183 | if (!start) { 184 | if (!over) { 185 | background(255) 186 | drawlife() 187 | textSize(30) 188 | text(sc, w / 2 - 5, 35) 189 | st.draw() 190 | for (var i = 0; i < n * m; i++) { 191 | if (br[i].v) br[i].draw() 192 | } 193 | ball.draw() 194 | ball.move() 195 | ball.detect() 196 | } else if (tot == 0) { 197 | background(0) 198 | textSize(50) 199 | fill(255) 200 | text("Congratulation, you won", w / 2 - 270, h / 2 - 40) 201 | textSize(25) 202 | text("Press Left mouse to play again", w / 2 - 170, h / 2 + 20) 203 | if (mouseIsPressed) reset() 204 | } else { 205 | background(0) 206 | textSize(80) 207 | fill(255) 208 | high = max(high, sc) 209 | text("Game Over", w / 2 - 220, h / 2 - 40) 210 | textSize(38) 211 | text("Your Score : " + sc, w / 2 - 150, h / 2 + 10) 212 | textSize(20) 213 | text("Highest Score : " + high, w / 2 - 100, h / 2 + 50) 214 | if (mouseIsPressed) reset() 215 | textSize(20) 216 | text("Press Left mouse to play again", w / 2 - 150, h / 2 + 90) 217 | } 218 | } else { 219 | background(0) 220 | textSize(80) 221 | fill(255) 222 | text("Welcome", w / 2 - 180, h / 2 - 40) 223 | textSize(25) 224 | text("Press Left mouse to play", w / 2 - 150, h / 2 + 20) 225 | if (mouseIsPressed) start = 0 226 | 227 | } 228 | } 229 | 230 | function reset() { 231 | if (over) { 232 | over = 0 233 | sc = 0 234 | life = 3 235 | pau=0 236 | tot = n * m 237 | for (var i = 0; i < n * m; i++) { 238 | br[i].v = 1 239 | } 240 | ball.x = w / 2 241 | ball.y = h - 60 242 | ball.d[0] = f() 243 | ball.d[1] = -1 244 | ball.spd = spd 245 | } 246 | } 247 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/games/mine.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | document.addEventListener('contextmenu', event => event.preventDefault()); 2 | 3 | var win = window, 4 | doc = document, 5 | docElem = doc.documentElement, 6 | body = doc.getElementsByTagName('body')[0], 7 | x1 = win.innerWidth || docElem.clientWidth || body.clientWidth, 8 | y1 = win.innerHeight || docElem.clientHeight || body.clientHeight; 9 | 10 | var w = x1 11 | var h = y1-4 12 | 13 | function setup() { 14 | createCanvas(w, h) 15 | } 16 | 17 | var z = 40 18 | var r = Math.floor(w / z) 19 | var c = Math.floor(h / z) 20 | var mn = Math.floor(r*c*40/252) 21 | var flags = mn 22 | 23 | var colors = [ 24 | [72, 133, 237, 47, 86, 154], 25 | [0, 135, 68, 0, 88, 44], 26 | [182, 72, 242, 118, 47, 157], 27 | [219, 50, 54, 142, 33, 35], 28 | [244, 194, 13, 159, 126, 8], 29 | [244, 132, 13, 159, 86, 8], 30 | [72, 230, 241, 47, 150, 157] 31 | ] 32 | 33 | class Box { 34 | constructor(x, y, v, col) { 35 | this.x = x 36 | this.y = y 37 | this.s = 0 38 | this.f = 0 39 | this.v = v 40 | this.col = col 41 | if (this.v == -1) { 42 | this.cols = colors[Math.floor(Math.random() * 7)] 43 | } 44 | } 45 | draw() { 46 | noStroke() 47 | if (this.s) { 48 | if (this.col) { 49 | fill(229, 194, 159) 50 | } else { 51 | fill(215, 184, 153) 52 | } 53 | 54 | rect(this.x * z, this.y * z, z, z) 55 | 56 | if (this.v == 1) fill(47, 126, 203) 57 | else if (this.v == 2) fill(59, 143, 62) 58 | else if (this.v == 3) fill(212, 54, 52) 59 | else if (this.v == 4) fill(123, 32, 162) 60 | else if (this.v == 5) fill(128, 0, 0) 61 | else if (this.v == 6) fill(183, 97, 17) 62 | else fill(100) 63 | if (this.v > 0) { 64 | textSize(22) 65 | textStyle(BOLD) 66 | text(this.v, this.x * z + z / 3, this.y * z + 2 * z / 3) 67 | } 68 | if (this.v == -1) { 69 | fill(this.cols[0], this.cols[1], this.cols[2]) 70 | rect(this.x * z, this.y * z, z, z) 71 | fill(this.cols[3], this.cols[4], this.cols[5]) 72 | circle(z / 2 + this.x * z, z / 2 + this.y * z, z / 2) 73 | } 74 | } else { 75 | if (this.col) { 76 | fill(170, 215, 81) 77 | } else { 78 | fill(162, 209, 73) 79 | } 80 | rect(this.x * z, this.y * z, z, z) 81 | if(isvalid(this.x+1,this.y)){ 82 | if(boxes[this.x+1][this.y].s){ 83 | stroke(136,176,59) 84 | strokeWeight(4) 85 | line((this.x+1)*z,this.y*z,(this.x+1)*z,(this.y+1)*z) 86 | } 87 | } 88 | if(isvalid(this.x-1,this.y)){ 89 | if(boxes[this.x-1][this.y].s){ 90 | stroke(136,176,59) 91 | strokeWeight(2) 92 | line((this.x)*z,this.y*z,(this.x)*z,(this.y+1)*z) 93 | } 94 | 95 | } 96 | if(isvalid(this.x,this.y-1)){ 97 | if(boxes[this.x][this.y-1].s){ 98 | stroke(136,176,59) 99 | strokeWeight(2) 100 | line(this.x*z,this.y*z,(this.x+1)*z,this.y*z) 101 | } 102 | 103 | } 104 | if(isvalid(this.x,this.y+1)){ 105 | if(boxes[this.x][this.y+1].s){ 106 | stroke(136,176,59) 107 | strokeWeight(4) 108 | line(this.x*z,(this.y+1)*z,(this.x+1)*z,(this.y+1)*z) 109 | } 110 | } 111 | 112 | 113 | if (this.f) { 114 | fill(242, 54, 7) 115 | stroke(242, 54, 7) 116 | var vt = [ 117 | 1.5 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 118 | z / 5 + this.y * z, 119 | 4 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 120 | 2 * z / 5 + this.y * z, 121 | 1.5 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 122 | 3 * z / 5 + this.y * z 123 | ] 124 | triangle(vt[0], vt[1], vt[2], vt[3], vt[4], vt[5]) 125 | strokeWeight(4) 126 | line(1.5 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 127 | 1.25 * z / 5 + this.y * z, 128 | 1.5 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 129 | 4 * z / 5 + this.y * z) 130 | arc(1.5 * z / 5 + this.x * z, 4 * z / 5 + this.y * z, z / 8, z / 8, PI, 0, CHORD) 131 | } 132 | } 133 | } 134 | } 135 | 136 | var a = [] 137 | for (var i = 0; i < r; i++) { 138 | a.push([]) 139 | for (var j = 0; j < c; j++) { 140 | a[i].push(0) 141 | } 142 | } 143 | 144 | function g(sx) { 145 | return [Math.floor(sx / c), sx % c] 146 | } 147 | 148 | function f() { 149 | var px = Math.floor(Math.random() * r * c) 150 | var py = g(px) 151 | if (a[py[0]][py[1]] == -1) { 152 | f() 153 | } else { 154 | a[py[0]][py[1]] = -1 155 | } 156 | } 157 | 158 | for (var i = 0; i < mn; i++) { 159 | f() 160 | } 161 | 162 | function isvalid(rx, ry) { 163 | return rx > -1 && rx < r && ry > -1 && ry < c 164 | } 165 | 166 | function values(x, y) { 167 | var cn = 0 168 | for (var i = -1; i < 2; i++) { 169 | for (var j = -1; j < 2; j++) { 170 | if (i != 0 || j != 0) { 171 | if (isvalid(x + i, y + j)) { 172 | if (a[x + i][y + j] == -1) { 173 | cn += 1 174 | } 175 | } 176 | } 177 | } 178 | } 179 | return cn 180 | } 181 | 182 | 183 | for (var i = 0; i < r; i++) { 184 | for (var j = 0; j < c; j++) { 185 | if (a[i][j] != -1) { 186 | a[i][j] = values(i, j) 187 | } 188 | } 189 | } 190 | 191 | var boxes = [] 192 | for (var i = 0; i < r; i++) { 193 | boxes.push([]) 194 | for (var j = 0; j < c; j++) { 195 | boxes[i].push(new Box(i, j, a[i][j], (i + j) % 2)) 196 | } 197 | } 198 | 199 | function go(x, y) { 200 | for (var i = -1; i < 2; i++) { 201 | for (var j = -1; j < 2; j++) { 202 | if (i != 0 || j != 0) { 203 | if (isvalid(x + i, y + j)) { 204 | if (boxes[x + i][y + j].v == 0 && boxes[x + i][y + j].s == 0) { 205 | boxes[x + i][y + j].s = 1 206 | go(x + i, y + j) 207 | } else { 208 | boxes[x + i][y + j].s = 1 209 | } 210 | } 211 | } 212 | } 213 | } 214 | } 215 | 216 | var won = 3 217 | 218 | function draw() { 219 | background(170, 215, 81) 220 | var tot = 0 221 | for (var i = 0; i < r; i++) { 222 | for (var j = 0; j < c; j++) { 223 | boxes[i][j].draw() 224 | if (boxes[i][j].s) tot += 1 225 | } 226 | } 227 | if (tot == r * c - mn) { 228 | won = 1 229 | } 230 | 231 | fill(255,100) 232 | textSize(24) 233 | text("flags : "+flags, w-110, 30) 234 | 235 | if (won) { 236 | fill(100, 100) 237 | rect(0, 0, w, h) 238 | fill(255, 70, 29) 239 | rect(w / 2 - w / 4, h / 2 - h / 4, w / 2, h / 2, z / 2) 240 | fill(220, 255, 29) 241 | textSize(72) 242 | if (won == 1) { 243 | text("You Won", w / 2 - w / 5, h / 2 - h / 15) 244 | } else if (won == 2) { 245 | text("You Lose", w / 2 - w / 5, h / 2 - h / 15) 246 | } else { 247 | text("Lets Start", w / 2 - w / 5, h / 2 - h / 15) 248 | } 249 | 250 | fill(235, 140, 43) 251 | if (won != 3) rect(w / 2 - w / 6, h / 2 + h / 40, w / 3, h / 8, z / 3) 252 | fill(255) 253 | if (won == 3) { 254 | textSize(30) 255 | text("Left mouse to dig", w / 2 - w / 7, h / 2 + h / 30) 256 | text("Right right to flag", w / 2 - w / 7, h / 2 + h / 8) 257 | } else { 258 | textSize(36) 259 | text("Play again", w / 2 - w / 9, h / 2 + h / 10) 260 | } 261 | } 262 | } 263 | 264 | function mousePressed() { 265 | if (won == 0) { 266 | var x = Math.floor(mouseX / z) 267 | var y = Math.floor(mouseY / z) 268 | x = Math.min(x, r - 1) 269 | y = Math.min(y, c - 1) 270 | if (x < 0) x = 0 271 | if (y < 0) y = 0 272 | if (mouseButton == LEFT) { 273 | if (boxes[x][y].f == 0) { 274 | if (boxes[x][y].s == 0) { 275 | boxes[x][y].s = 1 276 | if (boxes[x][y].v == -1) { 277 | show() 278 | won = 2 279 | return 280 | } 281 | if (boxes[x][y].v == 0) { 282 | go(x, y) 283 | } 284 | } 285 | } 286 | } else { 287 | if (boxes[x][y].s == 0) { 288 | if(boxes[x][y].f){ 289 | flags+=1 290 | }else{ 291 | flags-=1 292 | } 293 | boxes[x][y].f^=1 294 | } 295 | } 296 | } else { 297 | if(w!=3){ 298 | reset() 299 | }else{ 300 | w=0 301 | } 302 | } 303 | } 304 | 305 | function show() { 306 | for (i = 0; i < r; i++) { 307 | for (j = 0; j < c; j++) { 308 | if (boxes[i][j].v == -1) { 309 | boxes[i][j].s = 1 310 | } 311 | } 312 | } 313 | } 314 | 315 | function reset() { 316 | won = 0 317 | flags = mn 318 | var i = 0, 319 | j = 0 320 | for (i = 0; i < r; i++) { 321 | for (j = 0; j < c; j++) { 322 | a[i][j] = 0 323 | } 324 | } 325 | for (i = 0; i < mn; i++) { 326 | f() 327 | } 328 | for (i = 0; i < r; i++) { 329 | for (j = 0; j < c; j++) { 330 | if (a[i][j] != -1) { 331 | a[i][j] = values(i, j) 332 | } 333 | } 334 | } 335 | 336 | for (i = 0; i < r; i++) { 337 | for (j = 0; j < c; j++) { 338 | boxes[i][j] = new Box(i, j, a[i][j], (i + j) % 2) 339 | } 340 | } 341 | } 342 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/games/pong.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | var win = window, 2 | doc = document, 3 | docElem = doc.documentElement, 4 | body = doc.getElementsByTagName('body')[0], 5 | x1 = win.innerWidth || docElem.clientWidth || body.clientWidth, 6 | y1 = win.innerHeight|| docElem.clientHeight|| body.clientHeight; 7 | 8 | var w=x1 9 | var h=y1-10 10 | 11 | function setup() { 12 | createCanvas(w, h); 13 | } 14 | 15 | function g(){ 16 | return 2 * Math.round(Math.random()) - 1 17 | } 18 | var b = 10, 19 | l = 70 20 | var loc = w-36 21 | var opp = 36-b 22 | var yx = h / 2 - l 23 | 24 | 25 | var r = 12 26 | var x = w / 2, 27 | y = h / 2 28 | var d = [g(),g()] 29 | var spd = 4 30 | 31 | var over = false 32 | var won = false 33 | var dk = Math.round(Math.random()) 34 | var c = 0 35 | var z = 3 36 | var diff = 6 37 | var start = true 38 | 39 | function mousePressed() { 40 | if (over) { 41 | yx = h / 2 - l 42 | x = w / 2 43 | y = h / 2 44 | d = [g(),g()] 45 | spd = 5 46 | over = false 47 | won = false 48 | dk = Math.round(Math.random()) 49 | c = 0 50 | } 51 | } 52 | 53 | function draw() { 54 | if (!start) { 55 | if (!over && !won) { 56 | if (dk) { 57 | background(255); 58 | fill(0) 59 | rect(loc, min(mouseY, h - l), b, l) 60 | rect(opp, max(0, min(yx, h - l)), b, l) 61 | ellipse(x, y, r) 62 | } else { 63 | background(0); 64 | fill(255) 65 | rect(loc, min(mouseY, h - l), b, l) 66 | fill(255) 67 | rect(opp, max(0, min(yx, h - l)), b, l) 68 | fill(255) 69 | ellipse(x, y, r) 70 | } 71 | x += d[0] * spd 72 | y += d[1] * spd 73 | 74 | if (y > h - r || y < r) d[1] *= -1 75 | 76 | if (x >= loc - r && x <= loc && y >= mouseY && y <= mouseY + l) { 77 | d[0] *= -1 78 | c += 1 79 | if (c % z == 0) dk ^= 1 80 | if (c % diff == 0) spd += 1 81 | } 82 | go() 83 | 84 | if (x >= opp - r &&x<=opp + b && y >= yx && y <= yx + l) d[0] *= -1 85 | 86 | if (x < r) won = true 87 | if (x >= w) over = true 88 | 89 | textSize(40) 90 | text(c.toString(), w / 2 - 20, 60) 91 | } else { 92 | background(255 * dk) 93 | fill(255*(dk^1)) 94 | textSize(60) 95 | if (won) msg = "You won" 96 | else if (over) msg = "Game Over" 97 | else msg = "Error" 98 | 99 | text(msg, w / 2 - 150, h / 2) 100 | textSize(30) 101 | text("Your score : " + c.toString(), w / 2 - 80, h / 2 + 45) 102 | textSize(20) 103 | text("Press Left mouse to start", w / 2 - 98, h / 2+80) 104 | } 105 | } else { 106 | background(255*dk) 107 | fill(255*(dk^1)) 108 | textSize(60) 109 | text("Welcome", w / 2 - 150, h / 2 - 50) 110 | textSize(30) 111 | text("Press Left mouse to start", w / 2 - 190, h / 2) 112 | if (mouseIsPressed) start = false 113 | } 114 | 115 | } 116 | 117 | function go() { 118 | if (d[0] == -1) { 119 | if (d[1] == -1) yx = abs(x - y - opp) 120 | else { 121 | var t = x + y - opp 122 | yx = h - abs(h - t) 123 | } 124 | yx -= l / 2 125 | } 126 | } 127 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/games/snake.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | var keys = {}; 2 | window.addEventListener("keydown", 3 | function(e){ 4 | keys[e.keyCode] = true; 5 | switch(e.keyCode){ 6 | case 37: case 39: case 38: case 40: 7 | case 32: e.preventDefault(); break; 8 | default: break; 9 | } 10 | }, 11 | false); 12 | window.addEventListener('keyup', 13 | function(e){ 14 | keys[e.keyCode] = false; 15 | }, 16 | false); 17 | 18 | var win = window, 19 | doc = document, 20 | docElem = doc.documentElement, 21 | body = doc.getElementsByTagName('body')[0], 22 | w1 = win.innerWidth || docElem.clientWidth || body.clientWidth, 23 | h1 = win.innerHeight || docElem.clientHeight || body.clientHeight; 24 | 25 | var w = w1 26 | var h = h1-7 27 | 28 | var z = Math.floor(w / 74); 29 | var r = Math.floor(w / z); 30 | var c = Math.floor(h / z); 31 | h = c * z 32 | w = r * z 33 | var highscore = 0 34 | var start = true; 35 | var cr = z/2 36 | var eys = (2.5/10)*z 37 | 38 | function setup() { 39 | createCanvas(w, h); 40 | } 41 | 42 | class Box { 43 | constructor(x, y) { 44 | this.x = x 45 | this.y = y 46 | this.z = z 47 | this.d = [1, 0] 48 | this.c=0 49 | } 50 | draw() { 51 | fill(0) 52 | rect(this.x * this.z, this.y * this.z, this.z, this.z) 53 | } 54 | drawhead(d) { 55 | fill(0) 56 | var cp = [cr, cr, cr, cr] 57 | var eye = [1,1,1,1] 58 | if (d[0] == this.d[0] && d[1] == this.d[1]) { 59 | this.c = 0 60 | } else { 61 | this.c += 1 62 | if (this.c > 1) { 63 | this.d = d 64 | this.c = 0 65 | } 66 | } 67 | if (this.d[1] == 0) { 68 | if (this.d[0] > 0) { 69 | cp[0] = 0 70 | cp[3] = 0 71 | eye[0] = 0 72 | eye[3] = 0 73 | } else { 74 | cp[1] = 0 75 | cp[2] = 0 76 | eye[1] = 0 77 | eye[2] = 0 78 | } 79 | } else { 80 | if (this.d[1] > 0) { 81 | cp[0] = 0 82 | cp[1] = 0 83 | eye[0] = 0 84 | eye[1] = 0 85 | } else { 86 | cp[2] = 0 87 | cp[3] = 0 88 | eye[2] = 0 89 | eye[3] = 0 90 | } 91 | } 92 | rect(this.x * this.z, this.y * this.z, this.z, this.z, cp[0], cp[1], cp[2], cp[3]) 93 | fill(255) 94 | if(eye[0]) ellipse((this.x+1/4)*this.z,(this.y+1/4)*this.z,eys,eys) 95 | if(eye[1]) ellipse((this.x+3/4)*this.z,(this.y+1/4)*this.z,eys,eys) 96 | if(eye[2]) ellipse((this.x+3/4)*this.z,(this.y+3/4)*this.z,eys,eys) 97 | if(eye[3]) ellipse((this.x+1/4)*this.z,(this.y+3/4)*this.z,eys,eys) 98 | } 99 | } 100 | 101 | class Food { 102 | constructor(x, y) { 103 | this.x = x; 104 | this.y = y; 105 | this.z = z; 106 | } 107 | draw() { 108 | noStroke() 109 | fill(245, 22, 41) 110 | rect(this.x * this.z, this.y * this.z, this.z, this.z, cr) 111 | } 112 | } 113 | 114 | class Snake { 115 | constructor() { 116 | this.body = [] 117 | for (var i = 8; i > 2; i--) { 118 | this.body.push(new Box(i, 2)) 119 | } 120 | this.d = [1, 0] 121 | this.len = this.body.length 122 | this.gameover = false 123 | this.spd = 6 124 | this.cn = 0 125 | this.score = 0 126 | } 127 | draw() { 128 | this.len = this.body.length 129 | this.body[0].drawhead(this.d) 130 | for (var i = 1; i < this.len; i++) { 131 | this.body[i].draw() 132 | } 133 | } 134 | move() { 135 | this.len = this.body.length 136 | if (this.body[0].x == food.x && this.body[0].y == food.y) { 137 | genefood() 138 | this.score += 2 139 | if (this.score % 20 == 0) { 140 | this.spd -= 1 141 | if (this.spd < 2) { 142 | this.spd = 2 143 | } 144 | } 145 | this.body.push(new Box(this.body[this.len - 1].x, this.body[this.len - 1].y)) 146 | } 147 | 148 | for (var i = this.len - 1; i > 0; i--) { 149 | this.body[i].x = this.body[i - 1].x 150 | this.body[i].y = this.body[i - 1].y 151 | } 152 | this.body[0].x += this.d[0] 153 | this.body[0].y += this.d[1] 154 | 155 | if (this.checkout() || this.selfcollide()) { 156 | this.gameover = true 157 | } 158 | 159 | } 160 | checkout() { 161 | if (this.body[0].x >= r || this.body[0].x < 0 || this.body[0].y < 0 || this.body[0].y >= c) { 162 | return true 163 | } else { 164 | return false 165 | } 166 | } 167 | selfcollide() { 168 | this.len = this.body.length 169 | for (var i = 1; i < this.len; i++) { 170 | if (this.body[i].x == this.body[0].x && this.body[i].y == this.body[0].y) { 171 | return true 172 | } 173 | } 174 | return false 175 | } 176 | check(x1, y1) { 177 | for (var i = 0; i < this.body.length; i++) { 178 | if (this.body[i].x == x1 && this.body[i].y == y1) { 179 | return false 180 | } 181 | } 182 | return true 183 | } 184 | } 185 | 186 | var snake = new Snake() 187 | 188 | var food = new Food(Math.floor(r / 2), Math.floor(c / 2)) 189 | 190 | function draw() { 191 | if (!start) { 192 | if (!snake.gameover) { 193 | snake.cn += 1 194 | if (snake.cn % snake.spd != 0) { 195 | return 196 | } 197 | background(255); 198 | strokeWeight(4); 199 | textSize(20) 200 | text(snake.score, (r - 3) * z, z + 20) 201 | food.draw() 202 | snake.draw() 203 | snake.move() 204 | } else { 205 | if (snake.score > highscore) { 206 | highscore = snake.score 207 | } 208 | background(255) 209 | fill(0) 210 | textSize(72) 211 | textStyle(BOLD) 212 | text("Game Over", w / 2 - 180, h / 2) 213 | textStyle(NORMAL) 214 | textSize(24) 215 | text("Score : " + snake.score + " Best : " + highscore, w / 2 - 90, h / 2 + 45) 216 | text("Press left mouse to play again ", w / 2 - 150, h / 2 + 85) 217 | if (mouseIsPressed) { 218 | reset() 219 | } 220 | } 221 | 222 | } else { 223 | background(255) 224 | // fill(0) 225 | textSize(72) 226 | textStyle(BOLD) 227 | text("WELCOME", w / 2 - 180, h / 2) 228 | textStyle(NORMAL) 229 | textSize(24) 230 | text("Press left mouse to play", w / 2 - 125, h / 2 + 45) 231 | text("Use arrow keys to move", w / 2 - 125, h / 2 + 95) 232 | if (mouseIsPressed) { 233 | start = false 234 | } 235 | } 236 | } 237 | 238 | function keyPressed() { 239 | if (keyCode == UP_ARROW) { 240 | newd = [0, -1] 241 | } else if (keyCode == DOWN_ARROW) { 242 | newd = [0, 1] 243 | } else if (keyCode == LEFT_ARROW) { 244 | newd = [-1, 0] 245 | } else if (keyCode == RIGHT_ARROW) { 246 | newd = [1, 0] 247 | } 248 | 249 | if (snake.d[0] * newd[0] + snake.d[1] * newd[1] == 0) { 250 | snake.d = newd; 251 | } 252 | 253 | } 254 | 255 | function genefood() { 256 | var space = [] 257 | for (var i = 0; i < r; i++) { 258 | for (var j = 0; j < c; j++) { 259 | if (snake.check(i, j)) { 260 | space.push([i, j]) 261 | } 262 | } 263 | } 264 | var xy = space[Math.floor(Math.random() * space.length)] 265 | food = new Food(xy[0], xy[1]) 266 | } 267 | 268 | function reset() { 269 | snake = new Snake() 270 | food = new Food(Math.floor(r / 2), Math.floor(c / 2)) 271 | } 272 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/projects/draw.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | async function init() { 2 | try { 3 | const model = await tf.loadLayersModel('localstorage://dg-model'); 4 | } catch (e) { 5 | const model = await tf.loadLayersModel('https://raw.githubusercontent.com/blueedgetechno/handwritten-digit-recognition/master/model.json') 6 | console.log('model loaded') 7 | await model.save('localstorage://dg-model'); 8 | } finally { 9 | setTimeout(function () { 10 | var vas = document.getElementById('loading') 11 | vas.innerText = "Draw a digit" 12 | },3000) 13 | } 14 | 15 | } 16 | 17 | init() 18 | 19 | var sz = 18 20 | var w = sz * 28 21 | var h = sz * 28 22 | 23 | function setup() { 24 | var canvas = createCanvas(w, h) 25 | canvas.parent('drawArea') 26 | } 27 | 28 | function valid(i, j) { 29 | return -1 < i && i < 28 && -1 < j && j < 28 30 | } 31 | 32 | class Box { 33 | constructor(x, y) { 34 | this.x = x 35 | this.y = y 36 | this.color = 0 37 | this.value = 0 38 | this.im = 0.75 39 | this.dir = [] 40 | for (var i = -1; i < 2; i++) { 41 | for (var j = -1; j < 2; j++) { 42 | if (i == 0 && j == 0) continue; 43 | if (valid(x + i, y + j)) { 44 | this.dir.push([x + i, y + j]) 45 | } 46 | } 47 | } 48 | 49 | } 50 | sigmoid(x) { 51 | return 1 / (1 + Math.exp(-x)) 52 | } 53 | draw() { 54 | fill(this.color) 55 | noStroke() 56 | rect(this.x * sz, this.y * sz, sz, sz) 57 | } 58 | ink(c, ng) { 59 | this.value += c 60 | this.color = Math.floor(255 * this.sigmoid(this.value)) 61 | if (ng == 0) { 62 | for (var i = 0; i < this.dir.length; i++) { 63 | var x = this.dir[i] 64 | boxes[x[0]][x[1]].ink(c * this.im, 1) 65 | } 66 | } 67 | } 68 | } 69 | 70 | var boxes = [] 71 | 72 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 73 | boxes.push([]) 74 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 75 | boxes[i].push(new Box(i, j)) 76 | } 77 | } 78 | 79 | var x, y; 80 | 81 | function draw() { 82 | background(0) 83 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 84 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 85 | boxes[i][j].draw() 86 | } 87 | } 88 | x = Math.floor(mouseX / sz) 89 | y = Math.floor(mouseY / sz) 90 | if (mouseIsPressed) { 91 | if (valid(x, y)) { 92 | boxes[x][y].ink(0.95, 0) 93 | } 94 | } 95 | 96 | } 97 | 98 | function keyPressed() { 99 | if (keyCode === BACKSPACE) { 100 | reset() 101 | } 102 | if (keyCode === ENTER) { 103 | show() 104 | } 105 | } 106 | 107 | function reset() { 108 | var card = document.getElementsByClassName('guesscard')[0] 109 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 110 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 111 | boxes[i][j].color = 0 112 | } 113 | } 114 | card.hidden = true 115 | } 116 | 117 | var num = [] 118 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 119 | num.push([]) 120 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 121 | num[i].push(0) 122 | } 123 | } 124 | 125 | async function show() { 126 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 127 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 128 | inp[0][j][i] = boxes[i][j].color 129 | } 130 | } 131 | const model = await tf.loadLayersModel('localstorage://dg-model'); 132 | var pred = model.predict(tf.tensor(inp)).dataSync() 133 | var ind = 0 134 | var pb = 0 135 | for(var i=0;ipb){ 137 | pb = pred[i] 138 | ind = i 139 | } 140 | } 141 | 142 | var card = document.getElementsByClassName('guesscard')[0] 143 | card.innerText = "This digit looks like " + ind + " to me" 144 | card.hidden = false 145 | 146 | } 147 | 148 | var inp = [] 149 | inp.push([]) 150 | for (var i = 0; i < 28; i += 1) { 151 | inp[0].push([]) 152 | for (var j = 0; j < 28; j += 1) { 153 | inp[0][i].push(0) 154 | } 155 | } 156 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/projects/times.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | var w = 736, 2 | h = 590, 3 | r = 250 4 | 5 | const pi = Math.PI, 6 | sin = Math.sin, 7 | cos = Math.cos 8 | 9 | function color() { 10 | return Math.floor(Math.random() * 255) 11 | } 12 | 13 | function draw(n, t) { 14 | var c = document.getElementById("display") 15 | var ctx = c.getContext("2d") 16 | 17 | ctx.clearRect(0, 0, c.width, c.height); 18 | 19 | ctx.lineWidth = 1 20 | ctx.strokeStyle = "#007fed" 21 | ctx.beginPath() 22 | ctx.arc(w / 2, h / 2, r, 0, 2 * Math.PI) 23 | ctx.stroke() 24 | ctx.closePath() 25 | 26 | var a = (2 * pi) / n, 27 | x = 0, 28 | y = 0, 29 | pt = 1 30 | 31 | 32 | ctx.lineWidth = 1 33 | 34 | for (var i = 0; i < n; i++) { 35 | x = r * cos(a * i) 36 | y = r * sin(a * i) 37 | 38 | ctx.beginPath() 39 | ctx.arc(w / 2 - x, h / 2 - y, pt, 0, 2 * Math.PI) 40 | ctx.stroke() 41 | ctx.closePath() 42 | } 43 | 44 | var x1 = 0, 45 | y1 = 0, 46 | x2 = 0, 47 | y2 = 0 48 | 49 | ctx.lineWidth = 1 50 | ctx.strokeStyle = "#006dda" 51 | 52 | var c1 = color(), 53 | c2 = color(), 54 | c3 = color() 55 | 56 | // ctx.strokeStyle = "rgb(" + c1 + "," + c2 + "," + c3 + ")" 57 | 58 | for (var i = 0; i < n; i++) { 59 | x1 = r * cos(a * i) 60 | y1 = r * sin(a * i) 61 | 62 | x1 = w / 2 - x1 63 | y1 = h / 2 - y1 64 | 65 | j = (t * i) % n 66 | 67 | x2 = r * cos(a * j) 68 | y2 = r * sin(a * j) 69 | 70 | x2 = w / 2 - x2 71 | y2 = h / 2 - y2 72 | 73 | ctx.moveTo(x1, y1) 74 | ctx.lineTo(x2, y2) 75 | ctx.stroke() 76 | } 77 | 78 | } 79 | 80 | function callme() { 81 | var multi = document.getElementById('multiplier') 82 | var base = document.getElementById('base') 83 | multi.parentElement.children[0].innerText = "Multiplier : " + multi.value 84 | base.parentElement.children[0].innerText = "Base : " + base.value 85 | draw(base.value, multi.value) 86 | } 87 | 88 | var player = 0 89 | var playing = 0 90 | var t = 0 91 | 92 | function play() { 93 | var multi = document.getElementById('multiplier') 94 | var base = document.getElementById('base') 95 | if (playing) { 96 | clearInterval(player) 97 | } else { 98 | t = Math.floor(multi.value) 99 | if(t==2){ 100 | t = 0 101 | } 102 | player = setInterval(() => { 103 | multi.value = t 104 | t += 0.1 105 | multi.parentElement.children[0].innerText = "Multiplier : " + multi.value 106 | base.parentElement.children[0].innerText = "Base : " + base.value 107 | draw(base.value, t) 108 | 109 | if (t > 98.9) { 110 | t = 0 111 | clearInterval(player) 112 | } 113 | }, 100) 114 | } 115 | playing ^= 1 116 | } 117 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/quote.js: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | fetch("/js/quotes.txt").then(r => r.text()).then(t => generate(t)) 2 | function generate(t) { 3 | setTimeout(function () { 4 | var quotes = t.split('\n'); 5 | document.getElementById('quoteline').textContent = quotes[Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length)] 6 | }, 2500); 7 | return 8 | } 9 | 10 | function give(date1, date2) { 11 | var ans = Math.round((date2 - date1) / (1000 * 60 * 60 * 24)); 12 | if (ans >= 365) { 13 | return Math.round(ans / 365).toString() + " years ago"; 14 | } else if (ans >= 30) { 15 | return Math.round(ans / 30).toString() + " months ago"; 16 | } else if (ans >= 7) { 17 | if(Math.round(ans / 7)==1){ 18 | return Math.round(ans / 7).toString() + " week ago"; 19 | }else{ 20 | return Math.round(ans / 7).toString() + " weeks ago"; 21 | } 22 | } else { 23 | if (ans == 0) { 24 | return "today"; 25 | } else if (ans == 1) { 26 | return "yesterday"; 27 | } else { 28 | return ans.toString() + " days ago"; 29 | } 30 | } 31 | } 32 | 33 | function dates() { 34 | var dt = document.getElementsByName('dated'); 35 | for (var i = 0; i < dt.length; i++) { 36 | dt[i].textContent = give(new Date(dt[i].id), new Date()) 37 | } 38 | } 39 | 40 | window.onload = dates; 41 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /static/js/quotes.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired 2 | A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead 3 | A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose 4 | A boss with no humor is like a job that's no fun 5 | A career is just a job that went on too long 6 | A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion 7 | A clean tie attracts the soup of the day 8 | A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory 9 | A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine 10 | A day without sunshine is like night 11 | A dean is to a faculty as a hydrant is to a dog 12 | A dime is a dollar after the taxes are taken out 13 | A drink a day keeps the shrink away 14 | A fail-safe circuit will destroy others 15 | A fool and his money are soon invited places 16 | A fool and his money are soon partying 17 | A fool and his money stabilize the economy 18 | A fool with money to burn soon meets his match 19 | A friend in need is a pest indeed 20 | A good scapegoat is hard to find 21 | A harp is a nude piano 22 | A home where the buffalo roam... Is messy 23 | A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke 24 | A kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo, eventually 25 | A king's castle is his home 26 | A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction 27 | A lady draws a line, while a tramp falls for a line 28 | A lady is chaste. A tramp is chased 29 | A lady lives for a loving. A tramp loves for a living 30 | A lie in time saves nine 31 | A man in the house is worth two in the street 32 | A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy 33 | A man who turns green has eschewed protein 34 | A man without a woman is like a fish without gills 35 | A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking 36 | A man's house is his hassle 37 | A modest little person, with much to be modest about 38 | A motion to adjourn is always in order 39 | A penny saved has not been spent 40 | A penny saved is an economic breakthrough 41 | A penny saved is better than a penny earned 42 | A penny saved is ridiculous 43 | A person is innocent until proven President 44 | A pessimist is a married optimist 45 | A plateau is a high form of flattery 46 | A poet can survive anything but a misprint 47 | A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with 48 | A pun is the lowest form of humor 49 | A quarter ounce of chocolate equals four pounds of fat 50 | A Renaissance man diffuses to refine himself 51 | A ring is a hole with a rim round it 52 | A rolling stone gathers momentum 53 | A sadist is a masochist who follows the Golden Rule 54 | A sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist 55 | A sentence is worth a thousand words 56 | A shortcut is the longest path between two points 57 | A sinking ship gathers no moss 58 | A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight 59 | A Smith 60 | A soft drink turneth away company 61 | A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers 62 | A theory is better than its explanation 63 | A truly wise person never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn 64 | A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on 65 | A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals 66 | A waist is a terrible thing to mind 67 | A watched clock never boils 68 | A woman need not reveal her age, only her passions 69 | A young child is a noise with dirt on it 70 | Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy 71 | Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest precedent 72 | Absence makes the heart go wander 73 | Absence makes the heart grow fonder... For someone else 74 | Absolute truth is a 5-4 decision by the Supreme Court 75 | Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) 76 | Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song 77 | Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder 78 | Abstinence vanishes with presence 79 | Academy: A modern school where football is taught 80 | Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one 81 | According to my calculations, the problem does not exist 82 | Accuracy: The vice of being right 83 | Act old later 84 | Actors will happen in the best-regulated families 85 | Acupuncture is a jab well done 86 | Ad: Cute kitten for sale, 2 cents or best offer 87 | Ad: Georgia peaches 88 | Ad: Joining nudist colony, must sell washer 89 | Ad: Snow blower for sale... Only used on snowy days 90 | Ad: Tickle Me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled. $700 91 | Adult: One old enough to know better 92 | Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else's position 93 | Adults are just kids who owe money 94 | Advanced design: Upper management doesn't understand it 95 | Advanced technology: It's too complicated for me 96 | Adventure is a sign of incompetence 97 | Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill 98 | Age is not important unless you're a cheese 99 | Aging is a birth defect 100 | Aging is a non-curable disease 101 | Ah, to be a buzzard now that spring is here! 102 | Air is water with holes in it 103 | Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value 104 | Alaska is our biggest, buggiest, boggiest state 105 | Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive 106 | Alcohol kills you slowly, but who's in a hurry? 107 | Alimony is a splitting headache 108 | Alimony is the high cost of leaving 109 | All bleeding eventually stops 110 | All I want is a little more than I'll ever get 111 | All men are idiots, and I married their king 112 | All new: Parts not interchangeable with previous model 113 | All people are born alike 114 | All signs in metric for the next 20 miles 115 | All that glitters has a high refractive index 116 | All the good ones are taken 117 | All the men on my staff can type 118 | All the modern inconveniences.. 119 | All the points in between are, well, in between 120 | All things being equal, fat people use more soap 121 | All things being equal, I'd rather be created 122 | All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against 123 | All true wisdom is found on T-shirts 124 | All's well that ends 125 | Allow me to introduce my selves 126 | Almonds are members of the peach family 127 | Always draw your curves, then plot the data 128 | Always drink upstream from the herd 129 | Always pick on the correct idiom 130 | Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn 131 | Always take both skis off before hanging them up 132 | Am I in charge here?... No, but I'm full of ideas 133 | Ambiguity: Telling the truth when you don't mean to 134 | Ambivalent? Well, yes and no 135 | America was created by geniuses to be run by idiots 136 | Among economists, the real world is often a special case 137 | An after-dinner speaker rises to the occasion 138 | An ambush: Engaging the enemy on all sides 139 | An apple a day makes 365 apples a year 140 | An apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away 141 | An elm's bark is worse when there's blight 142 | An example of hard water is ice 143 | An expert has a great reason for guessing wrong 144 | An honest God's the noblest work of man 145 | An idle mind is worth two in the bush 146 | An informed citizen panics more intelligently 147 | An object at rest will always be in the wrong place 148 | An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain 149 | An ounce of rejection is worse than a pound of "sure" 150 | An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys 151 | Anarchy is against the law 152 | Anarchy: It's not a law, it's just a good idea 153 | And don't start a sentence with a conjunction 154 | And now for something completely different 155 | Answer my prayers, steal this car 156 | Any country with "democratic" in the title isn't 157 | Any landing you can walk away from is a good one 158 | Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool 159 | Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet 160 | Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate 161 | Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly 162 | Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for 163 | Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing 164 | Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious 165 | Archaeologists will date any old thing 166 | Are you lustworthy? 167 | Are you making this up as you go along? 168 | Arguments with furniture are rarely productive 169 | Art is anything you can get away with 170 | Artery: Study of paintings 171 | As a matter of fact, I DO own the road! 172 | As is often the case when I generalize, I don't care 173 | Ask about our layaway plan 174 | Ask about our plans for owning your home 175 | Astronauts are out to launch 176 | Astronomers bring light to the darkest discussions 177 | At 300 miles an hour, you can make a rock fly 178 | At my age, I don't buy green bananas 179 | At these prices, I lose money 180 | Atheism is a non-prophet organization 181 | Atheists are beyond belief 182 | Atheists are people with no invisible means of support 183 | Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog 184 | Author: An imaginary person who writes real books 185 | Autocorrect has become my worst enema 186 | Avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives 187 | Avoid colloquial stuff 188 | Avoid commas, that are not necessary 189 | Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky 190 | Babies learn decibels before they learn syllables 191 | Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free 192 | Bachelor: A man who never made the same mistake once 193 | Bacteria are the only culture some people have 194 | Bad luck is being run over by the welcome wagon 195 | Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones 196 | Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis 197 | Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare 198 | Banectomy: The removal of bruises on a banana 199 | Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails 200 | Baseball is religion without the mischief 201 | Baseball is to football as Beethoven is to rap 202 | Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 203 | Be alert; the world needs more lerts 204 | Be careful not to screw yourself in the foot 205 | Be different, act normal 206 | Be kind to your inferiors, if you can find any 207 | Be nice to your kids; they will choose your nursing home 208 | Be reasonable: Do it my way 209 | Be sure to poofread your writing 210 | Beauty is in the body of the beholdee 211 | Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.. 212 | Beauty times brains equals a constant 213 | Becoming overweight is something that snacks up on you 214 | Bedfellows make strange politicians 215 | Before enlightenment, also do the laundry 216 | Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats 217 | Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes 218 | Being a pilot is a hard way to earn an easy living 219 | Being normal is driving me crazy 220 | Benjamin Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead 221 | Best place to take a leak 222 | Better living through denial 223 | Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie 224 | Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose 225 | Beware of low-flying butterflies 226 | Beware of Natural Selection 227 | Biological Science: A contradiction in terms 228 | Biology grows on you 229 | Black holes were created when God divided by zero! 230 | Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the Earth 231 | Blood flows down one leg and up the other 232 | Boat: A hole in the water into which one throws money 233 | Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen 234 | Born free... Taxed to death 235 | Born to shop! 236 | Boss spelled backwards is, "double S.O.B." 237 | Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think 238 | Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience 239 | Budget: A method for going broke methodically 240 | Budget: Mathematical confirmation of your suspicions 241 | Bumper sticker on an old truck: Don't Laugh 242 | Bumper sticker: Horn broken. Watch for finger 243 | Bumper sticker: I Brake for Hallucinations 244 | Bumper sticker: I'd rather be teleporting 245 | Bumper sticker: My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student 246 | Bumper sticker: Stamp out crime; Abolish the IRS 247 | Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways 248 | Bureaucrat: A politician with tenure 249 | Business will be either better or worse 250 | But two in the bush are more FUN than one in the hand! 251 | California is proud to be the home of the freeway 252 | Californians are not without their faults 253 | Can a man do no worse than to fall in love? 254 | Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse? 255 | Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 256 | Can you think of another word for "synonym"? 257 | Candy / is dandy / but liquor / is quicker 258 | Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win 259 | Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it 260 | Career plans: "I want to rule the world." 261 | Careful planning will never replace dumb luck 262 | Carpenters (and pilots) are just plane folks 263 | Cauterize: Made eye contact with a woman 264 | Caution: Breathing might be hazardous to your health 265 | Celibacy is hereditary 266 | Change is great... You go first 267 | Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine 268 | Charm: A way of getting a "yes" 269 | Chastity is the most unnatural of the sexual perversions 270 | Chicken Little was right 271 | Circle: A line that meets its other end without ending 272 | Citation: Reputation by repetition 273 | Cleanliness is next to impossible 274 | Clients who pay the least complain the most 275 | Climate: What you expect. Weather: What you get 276 | Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery 277 | Cogito Eggo sum. (I think, therefore I am a waffle.) 278 | Cogito ergo spud. (I think, therefore I yam.) 279 | Colorless green ideas sleep furiously 280 | Come in and buy what your grandparents threw away 281 | Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious 282 | Committee: People who keep minutes and waste hours 283 | Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career 284 | Conform, go crazy, or become an artist 285 | Confound those who have said our remarks before us 286 | Confucius say too much 287 | Congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom 288 | Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends 289 | Consciousness: That annoying time between naps 290 | Conservative: A Liberal who has just been mugged 291 | Contents: One universe. Some assembly required 292 | Continental Life. Why do you ask? 293 | Corduroy pillows are making headlines 294 | Correct to within an order of magnitude: Wrong 295 | Courage: Two cannibals having oral sex 296 | Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!! 297 | Crime does not pay... As well as politics 298 | Criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage 299 | Culture is for bacteria 300 | Customers are beautiful people. Listen to them 301 | Cut to measurements; file to shape; hammer to fit 302 | Danger! I drive like you do 303 | Dare to be average 304 | Dating is never easy for engineers 305 | De-access your euphemisms 306 | Death comes to all men, but some just can't wait 307 | Death has been proven to be 99% fatal to laboratory rats 308 | Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired 309 | Death is often a good career move for an author 310 | Death: To stop sinning suddenly 311 | Democracy is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses 312 | Democrats fall in love; Republicans fall in line 313 | Demons are a ghoul's best friend 314 | Design simplicity: Developed on a shoe-string budget 315 | Despite treatment, the patient improved 316 | Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it 317 | Dijon vu 318 | Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off 319 | Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art 320 | Diversity's fine; subscribe to mine 321 | Divorced: Post-graduate in the School of Love 322 | Do as I say, not as I do 323 | Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? 324 | Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? 325 | Do I strike you as a violent person? 326 | Do not be led astray onto the path of virtue 327 | Do not judge a book by its movie 328 | Do not kiss an elephant on the lips today 329 | Do not merely believe in miracles; rely on them 330 | Do not put statements in the negative form 331 | Do not repeat yourself or say what you have said before 332 | Do not suffer from insanity. Enjoy every minute of it 333 | Do not underestimate the power of the Force 334 | Do not use contractions in formal writing 335 | Do unto others before they undo you 336 | Do you find yourself thinking more and enjoying it less? 337 | Do you have lysdexia? 338 | Do YOU have redeeming social value? 339 | Does fuzzy logic tickle? 340 | Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell? 341 | Does this hurt? How about now? 342 | Doing nothing is the something I do best 343 | Don't be afraid of work. Make work afraid of you 344 | Don't be humble... You're not that great 345 | Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after 346 | Don't do anything you'll regret having not done sooner 347 | Don't eat the yellow snow 348 | Don't force it, get a larger hammer 349 | Don't forget to never use negative commands 350 | Don't get even 351 | Don't get stuck in a closet; wear yourself out 352 | Don't go away mad... Just go away! 353 | Don't lend people money... It gives them amnesia 354 | Don't make me come down there.. 355 | Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper 356 | Don't mind him; politicians always sound like that 357 | Don't open bills on the weekend 358 | Don't overuse exclamation marks! 359 | Don't panic, but do you believe in reincarnation? 360 | Don't say yes until I finish talking 361 | Don't steal. The government hates competition 362 | Don't sweat the petty things 363 | Don't undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas 364 | Don't use no double negatives, not never 365 | Don't vote 366 | Don't you have anything more useful you could be doing? 367 | Down with the categorical imperative! 368 | Dress for radio 369 | Drilling for oil is boring 370 | Drive carefully. We are overstocked 371 | Drive on ice no faster than you want to hit something 372 | Driving in the snow is a spectator sport 373 | Drugs are the scenic route to nowhere 374 | Ducks? What ducks?? 375 | Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult 376 | Dyslexics of the world, untie! 377 | Earth Destroyed by Solar Flare 378 | Earth is a great funhouse without the fun 379 | Eat yogurt and get culture 380 | Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet 381 | Ecology: The study of who eats whom 382 | Egotism: Doing a crossword puzzle with a pen 383 | Either do wrong or feel guilty, but don't do both 384 | Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped 385 | Either that wallpaper goes, or I do 386 | Elections come and go, but politics are always with us 387 | Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications 388 | Eliminate government waste, no matter how much it costs! 389 | Eloquence is logic on fire 390 | Emus cannot walk backwards 391 | Energizer Bunny arrested 392 | Engineers can actually hear machines talk to them 393 | Engineers have problems that ordinary people don't 394 | Engineers... They love to change things 395 | Enjoy life; you could have been a barnacle 396 | Enough research will tend to support your theory 397 | Entropy isn't what it used to be 398 | Epitaph: A postponed compliment 399 | Eschew obfuscation 400 | Even a genius can have an off-day 401 | Even a stopped clock is right twice a day 402 | Every baby resembles the relative with the most money 403 | Every lazybones deserves a kick in his can'ts 404 | Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own 405 | Every morning is the dawn of a new error 406 | Every silver lining has a cloud around it 407 | Every time I lose weight, it finds me again 408 | Everyone is entitled to my opinion 409 | Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous" 410 | Everything coming your way? You're in the wrong lane! 411 | Everything goes on sale... Right after you buy it 412 | Everything in moderation, including moderation 413 | Everything is actually everything else, just recycled 414 | Everything is always done for the wrong reasons 415 | Everything put together falls apart sooner or later 416 | Everything that can be invented has been invented 417 | Everything worthwhile is mandatory, prohibited, or taxed 418 | Excellent day to have a rotten day 419 | Exceptions always outnumber rules 420 | Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget 421 | Expert: A person one step ahead of a non-expert 422 | Expert: Knows tomorrow why today's prediction failed 423 | f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd 424 | Familiarity breeds attempt 425 | Familiarity breeds contempt 426 | Famous last words: Don't worry, I can handle it 427 | Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field 428 | Fast, Cheap, Good: Choose any two 429 | Fear is nature's warning sign to get busy 430 | Feel good? Don't worry, you'll get over it 431 | Felix navidad. (Our cat has a boat.) 432 | Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs 433 | Field tested: Manufacturing doesn't have a test system 434 | Fine day for friends. So-so day for you 435 | First things first, but not necessarily in that order 436 | Fits like a sock on a duck's nose 437 | Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity 438 | Five out of four people have trouble with fractions 439 | Flashlight: A container for holding dead batteries 440 | Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustment 441 | Fools rush in 442 | Football, like religion, brings out the best in people 443 | For a good time, call 555-3100 444 | For adult education, nothing beats children 445 | For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction 446 | For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert 447 | For every knee, there is a jerk 448 | For NASA, space is still a high priority 449 | For nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body 450 | For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord 451 | For things to stay the same, many things must change 452 | For this, I spent all those years in college? 453 | Form follows function, and often obliterates it 454 | Fortune favors the lucky 455 | Fossil flowers come from the Petrified Florist 456 | Free love is priced right 457 | Freedom is just chaos, with better lighting 458 | Friction is a drag 459 | Friends don't let friends beer goggle 460 | Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway 461 | Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.. 462 | Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something 463 | Gee, I thought we'd be a lot higher at MECO! 464 | Genius is the infinite capacity for picking brains 465 | Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't 466 | Geometry teaches us to bisex angles 467 | Get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it 468 | Getting from A to B often requires visiting C through Z 469 | Getting old is NOT for sissies 470 | Giraffes have no vocal cords 471 | Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 472 | Girls, like flowers, bloom but once. But once is enough 473 | Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you 474 | Give a man enough rope and he will lasso another woman 475 | Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it 476 | Give me a place to sit, and I'll watch 477 | Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles 478 | Give me ambiguity or give me something else 479 | Give me chastity and continence, but not just now 480 | Give your child mental blocks for Christmas 481 | Glibido: All talk and no action 482 | Go away. I'm all right 483 | Go to Heaven for the climate but Hell for the company 484 | God could not be everywhere; therefore he made mothers 485 | God don't make mistakes. That's how He got to be God 486 | God help the poor, for the rich can help themselves 487 | God help us, we're in the hands of engineers 488 | God is a low-impact camper 489 | God is a polytheist 490 | God is my co-pilot, but the devil is my bombardier 491 | God is not dead. He just couldn't find a parking place 492 | God is religion. Love is biology. And sex is physics 493 | God must love the common man 494 | God, I ask for patience 495 | Going the speed of light is bad for your age 496 | Golf is like masturbation 497 | GOLF: Game Of Limitless Frustration 498 | Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance 499 | Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a good day 500 | Good sopranos and tenors have resonance 501 | Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored 502 | Got mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.02 x 10^23 503 | Graduate life: It's not just a job, it's an indenture 504 | Graft: An illegal means of uniting trees to make money 505 | Great leaders are rare, so I'm following myself 506 | Great minds run in great circles 507 | Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional 508 | Grub first, then ethics 509 | Guests who kill talk show hosts 510 | Hailing frequencies open, Captain 511 | Half of the people you know are below average 512 | Half of what we taught you is wrong 513 | Hangover: The wrath of grapes 514 | Happiness is a ball in the fairway 515 | Happiness is an inside job 516 | Happiness is having a scratch for every itch 517 | Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now 518 | Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? 519 | Have an adequate day 520 | Have an ordinary day 521 | Have you flogged your crew today? 522 | Haven't you got anyone better to do? 523 | Having children will turn you into your parents 524 | He had delusions of adequacy 525 | He hadn't a single redeeming vice 526 | He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides 527 | He is so short he has to reach up to tie his shoes 528 | He is such a steady worker that he is really motionless 529 | He leads his readers to the latrine and locks them in 530 | He loves nature in spite of what it did to him 531 | He speaks Esperanto like a native 532 | He that loves law will get his fill of it 533 | He was a suitor for her hand, but he did not suit her 534 | He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead 535 | He who dies with the most toys, wins 536 | He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last 537 | He who hesitates is a damned fool 538 | He who hesitates is last 539 | He who hesitates is probably right 540 | He who is content with his lot probably has a lot 541 | He who is still laughing hasn't yet heard the bad news 542 | He who laughs last didn't get the joke 543 | He who laughs last is probably your boss 544 | He who laughs last thinks slowest 545 | He who reads many fortunes gets confused 546 | He who shouts the loudest has the floor 547 | He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks 548 | Headline: 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar 549 | Headline: Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store 550 | Headline: Autos Killing 110 a Day 551 | Headline: Blind Bishop Appointed to See 552 | Headline: Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 553 | Headline: Croupiers on Strike 554 | Headline: Diaper Market Bottoms Out 555 | Headline: Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin 556 | Headline: Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 557 | Headline: Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice 558 | Headline: Lingerie Shipment Hijacked 559 | Headline: March Planned for Next August 560 | Headline: Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy 561 | Headline: Patient at Death's Door 562 | Headline: Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 563 | Headline: Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped 564 | Headline: Stadium Air Conditioning Fails 565 | Headline: Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 566 | Headline: War Dims Hope For Peace 567 | Headline: Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based 568 | Heads they win, tails you lose 569 | Heat expands: In the summer the days are longer 570 | Heavy: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force 571 | HECK is where people go when they don't believe in GOSH! 572 | Heisenberg might have been here 573 | Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned 574 | Help fight continental drift 575 | Help stamp out and abolish redundancy 576 | Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply 577 | HELP! MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN! 578 | Her kisses left something to be desired 579 | Here are the opinions on which my facts are based 580 | Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes? 581 | Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far? 582 | Hippoposthumous: A deceased hippopotamus 583 | Hire the morally handicapped 584 | His mind is like a steel trap: Full of mice 585 | His work is very poor, but at least it's slow 586 | Hit and run means never having to say you're sorry 587 | Home is where the house is 588 | Honest men marry soon, wise men not at all 589 | Honesty is the best policy 590 | Honeymoon: A thrill of a wife time 591 | Honk if you love peace and quiet 592 | Hors d'oeuvres: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces 593 | Hotdogs are best served with a ballgame 594 | How about never? Is never good for you? 595 | How can I miss you if you won't go away? 596 | How can someone "draw a blank"? 597 | How can there be self-help groups? 598 | How come wrong numbers are never busy? 599 | How do they get deer to cross at the yellow road signs? 600 | How do you explain school to a higher intelligence? 601 | How do you keep a dummy in suspense? 602 | How many weeks are there in a light year? 603 | How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers 604 | Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs 605 | Humor is the best antidote to reality 606 | I am a Libra. Libras don't believe in astrology 607 | I am a nutritional overachiever 608 | I am a vegetarian because I hate plants 609 | I am ashamed to be here, but not ashamed enough to leave 610 | I am at one with my duality 611 | I am dying beyond my means 612 | I am dying with the help of too many physicians 613 | I am going to live forever, or die trying! 614 | I am having an out of money experience 615 | I am in shape... Round is a shape! 616 | I am looking for myself. Have you seen me lately? 617 | I am neither for nor against apathy 618 | I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! 619 | I am not a crook 620 | I am not a lovable man 621 | I am not a perfectionist, but my parents were 622 | I am not an Economist. I am an honest man! 623 | I am not as dumb as you look 624 | I am not cynical, just experienced 625 | I am not deaf, I'm ignoring you 626 | I am not eating, so I must be asleep 627 | I am not living in the past 628 | I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican 629 | I am not playing hard to get; I AM hard to get 630 | I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally 631 | I am not young enough to know everything 632 | I am out of bed and dressed. What more do you want? 633 | I am sorry, but I'm not going to apologize 634 | I am the mommy, that's why! 635 | I am the person your mother warned you about 636 | I am woman, I am invincible, I am tired.. 637 | I awoke one morning and found myself famous 638 | I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch 639 | I believe I am God, but can't prove my own existence 640 | I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat 641 | I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails 642 | I bid you all a very heartfelt goodnight 643 | I blame sex and paper for most of our current problems 644 | I bother to show up for work because beer isn't free 645 | I bought my boyfriend a waterbed, but we drifted apart 646 | I brake for brick walls 647 | I can relate to that 648 | I can resist everything except temptation 649 | I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.. 650 | I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma 651 | I can't help hearing, but I don't always listen 652 | I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one 653 | I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy 654 | I couldn't have said that longer myself 655 | I did not believe in reincarnation the last time either 656 | I do desire we may be better strangers 657 | I do most of my work sitting down; that is where I shine 658 | I don't ask questions, I just have fun! 659 | I don't date outside my species 660 | I don't know where I am, but I'm not too far back 661 | I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling 662 | I don't like money actually, but it quiets my nerves 663 | I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier 664 | I doubt, therefore I might be 665 | I drank what? 666 | I drink to make other people interesting 667 | I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol 668 | I embrace poverty. To annoy me, send money 669 | I feel like a million tonight, but one at a time 670 | I feel more like I do now than I did a little while ago 671 | I get enough exercise just pushing my luck! 672 | I graduated first in my class from alibi school 673 | I hate quotations 674 | I have already told you more than I know 675 | I have been in more laps than a napkin 676 | I have seen the evidence... I want DIFFERENT evidence 677 | I have seen the truth and it makes no sense 678 | I have ways of making money that you know nothing of 679 | I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list 680 | I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it 681 | I hope my record gets out before the world blows up 682 | I hope you receive all the letters I mean to write 683 | I just need enough to tide me over until I need more 684 | I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? 685 | I keep on making the same misttakes 686 | I know I am efficient. Tell me I am beautiful 687 | I know on which side my bread is buttered 688 | I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes 689 | I like it better in the dark 690 | I like men who have a future and women who have a past 691 | I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix 692 | I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy 693 | I love it when it stays light out until it gets dark 694 | I love mankind... It's people I hate 695 | I love my job; it's the work I can't stand 696 | I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong 697 | I might be crazy, but I am not stupid 698 | I might not always be perfect, but I am always me 699 | I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? 700 | I never heard a minute's silence like that 701 | I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation 702 | I only like two kinds of men: Foreign and domestic 703 | I own and operate a ferocious ego 704 | I plan on living forever. So far, so good 705 | I plead contemporary insanity 706 | I really had to act; 'cause I didn't have any lines 707 | I refuse to star in your psychodrama 708 | I reserve the right to die or resign without notice 709 | I see time away from the refrigerator as exercise 710 | I shot an arrow into the air and it stuck 711 | I sort of always get low-grade mystical experiences 712 | I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone 713 | I stand by all the misstatements that I've made 714 | I stared Mother Nature in the face, and she smiled back 715 | I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: Let the Wookee win 716 | I think I am a sexual threat 717 | I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it 718 | I think we are all Bozos on this bus 719 | I think, therefore I am paid 720 | I think, therefore I am! I think? 721 | I think, therefore I am... Usually in a lot of trouble 722 | I think, therefore I'm single 723 | I thought growing old would take longer 724 | I thought YOU were supposed to feed the dinosaurs! 725 | I took an IQ test and the results were negative 726 | I typo ther fr I m 727 | I used to be a nun, but I kicked the habit 728 | I used to be agnostic, but now I'm not so sure 729 | I used to be an adult before I grew up 730 | I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality 731 | I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure 732 | I used to be Snow White, but I drifted 733 | I used to have a handle on life, then it broke 734 | I used to know that stuff 735 | I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead 736 | I want it all and I want it now 737 | I want to achieve immortality through not dying 738 | I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job 739 | I was an expert parent. Then I had children 740 | I was dangerously boring 741 | I was having a great day until I woke up 742 | I went looking for trouble, and I found it 743 | I will always love the false image I had of you 744 | I will meet you at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk 745 | I will never lie to you 746 | I wish you happy New Year... But only one 747 | I would explain it to you but your brain would explode 748 | I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous 749 | I would have made a good pope 750 | I would know what to think if I knew who to believe 751 | I would like to lick apricot brandy out of your navel 752 | I would rather fish than eat, particularly eat fish 753 | I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac 754 | I wouldn't mind being poor if I had lots of money 755 | I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize 756 | I'd rather walk through a fire than walk away from one 757 | I'll give you a definite maybe 758 | I'll play it first and tell you what it is later 759 | I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter 760 | I'm going to commit suicide, or die trying 761 | I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here? 762 | I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up 763 | I'm leaving my body to science fiction 764 | I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more! 765 | I'm not 27, I'm 12, with 15 years of experience 766 | I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling 767 | I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week 768 | I'm not going deaf. I'm ignoring you 769 | I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert 770 | I'm smarter than the average bear! 771 | I'm still an atheist, thank God 772 | I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time 773 | I've been things and done places 774 | I've only got one other speed, and it's slower 775 | Ice cream cures all ills. Temporarily 776 | If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 777 | If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 778 | If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 779 | If all is not lost, where is it? 780 | If all the world's a stage, I want some better lighting 781 | If an experiment works, something has gone wrong 782 | If at first you don't succeed, redefine success 783 | If at first you don't succeed, you'll get lots of advice 784 | If at first you don't succeed, your successor will 785 | If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from? 786 | If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery 787 | If God is so great, how come everything he makes dies? 788 | If guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the liberals? 789 | If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong 790 | If I can't take it with me, I'm not going! 791 | If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse 792 | If I follow you home, will you keep me? 793 | If I had a life, I'd end it 794 | If I had any humility I would be perfect 795 | If I have sex with my clone, will I go blind? 796 | If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to 797 | If I were you, who would you be? 798 | If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic 799 | If ignorance isn't bliss, I don't know what is 800 | If in doubt, make it sound convincing 801 | If in doubt, mumble 802 | If it ain't broke, you're not trying hard enough 803 | If it ain't damp, it ain't camp 804 | If it falls off, it doesn't matter 805 | If it is Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune 806 | If it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money 807 | If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven 808 | If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them 809 | If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done 810 | If it's called tourist season, why can't we shoot them? 811 | If liberals really hated America 812 | If life gives you lemons, take them, free stuff is cool 813 | If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic 814 | If little else, the brain is an educational toy 815 | If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 816 | If money can fix it, it's not a problem 817 | If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will 818 | If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee 819 | If the Pope wants to see me, he can come to my show 820 | If the shoe fits, buy the other one too 821 | If the shoe fits, it's ugly 822 | If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? 823 | If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? 824 | If they won't read my words, no one's going to stop them 825 | If this were subjunctive, I'm in the wrong mood 826 | If thou art in the bathtub, the telephone tolls for thee 827 | If time flies, does it mean you are having fun? 828 | If triangles had a God, he'd have three sides 829 | If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure 830 | If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research 831 | If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it? 832 | If you are mad at your neighbor, buy his kid a drum 833 | If you are not very clever you should be conciliatory 834 | If you believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand 835 | If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted 836 | If you can't make it good, make it big 837 | If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious 838 | If you cannot convince them, confuse them 839 | If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it 840 | If you don't believe me, stand in line 841 | If you don't care where you are, then you aren't lost 842 | If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly 843 | If you don't like the news, go out and make some 844 | If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed 845 | If you have half a mind to watch TV, that is enough 846 | If you have nothing to say, please say it only once 847 | If you have to ask how much it is, you can't afford it 848 | If you liked Earth, you will love Heaven 849 | If you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money 850 | If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break 851 | If You Pass This Point You Will Most Certainly Die 852 | If you put it off long enough, it might go away 853 | If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 854 | If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse 855 | If you're born again, do you get two bellybuttons? 856 | If you've got part of it, flaunt that part 857 | If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all 858 | If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise 859 | Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole 860 | Ignore previous fortune 861 | Ill-bred children always display their pest manners 862 | Illiterate? Write for free help 863 | Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery 864 | Immortality 865 | Imports are ports very far inland 866 | In an accident, it's not who's right, but who's left 867 | In base infinity, all integers are just one digit 868 | In Boston, drivers don't even obey the laws of PHYSICS 869 | In case of emergency, contact: "A good doctor." 870 | In case of fire... Yell "fire" 871 | In cyberspace, everyone gets their 15 minutes of shame 872 | In English, every word can be verbed 873 | In Lake Wobegon, all the children are above average 874 | In married life three is company and two is none 875 | In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved 876 | In midevil times most of the people were alliterate 877 | In my case, saving the world was only a hobby 878 | In principle I am against principles 879 | In some cultures what you do would be considered normal 880 | In the future, your clothes will be smarter than you 881 | In this world, truth can wait; she is used to it 882 | Include me out 883 | Incoming fire has the right of way 884 | Incompetence is a double-edged banana 885 | Indecision is the key to flexibility 886 | Individualists unite! 887 | Ingress is not a necessary precursor to egress 888 | Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids! 889 | Insufficient data for a meaningful answer at this time 890 | Interchangeable parts won't 891 | Invest in physics; own a piece of Dirac 892 | Irrationality is the square root of all evil 893 | IRS: Income Reduction Service 894 | Is Interstate 35 the best thing to come out of Iowa? 895 | Is is the verb for when you don't want a verb 896 | Is it possible to be totally partial? 897 | Is it time for lunch yet? 898 | Is knowledge knowable, and how do we know? 899 | Is there life before coffee? 900 | Is there life before death? 901 | Is this really happening? 902 | It ain't loafing unless they can prove it 903 | It behooves the writer to avoid archaic expressions 904 | It bothers people if you are lucid and ironic 905 | It doesn't matter that everything has already been said 906 | It doesn't matter whether you win or lose 907 | It has been Monday all week today 908 | It is a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot 909 | It is bad luck to be superstitious 910 | It is better to be an ancestor than a descendant 911 | It is better to burn out than to fade away 912 | It is better to have loved and lost 913 | It is better to sit still than rise and fall 914 | It is considered tacky to take a cooler to church 915 | It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser 916 | It is easy to love a sleeping baby 917 | It is hard to be humble when you are so perfect 918 | It is kind of fun to do the impossible 919 | It is later than you think 920 | It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money 921 | It is more than magnificent 922 | It is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide 923 | It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one 924 | It is not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either 925 | It is not my week to care 926 | It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs 927 | It seems to make an auto driver mad if she misses you 928 | It takes years to become an overnight success 929 | It was a brave man that ate the first oyster 930 | It was such a beautiful day I decided to stay in bed 931 | It works better if you plug it in 932 | It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca 933 | It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it 934 | It's better to be looked over than overlooked 935 | It's certainly strange how little I look like me 936 | It's good to get a taste of someone else's moccasins 937 | It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean 938 | It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open 939 | It's just too easy to start a religion 940 | It's not easy being green 941 | It's not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere 942 | It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men 943 | It's often your clothing that gets promoted 944 | It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me 945 | It's the friends you can call up at 4 am that matter 946 | It's time for the human race to enter the solar system 947 | Jealousy: All the fun you think they have 948 | John Muir was the sum of his parks 949 | Journalism is literature in a hurry 950 | Journalism is the first draft of history 951 | Junk: Stuff we throw away. Stuff: Junk we keep 952 | Justice: A decision in your favor 953 | Karmageddon: When the Earth explodes due to bad vibes 954 | Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans 955 | Keep in mind that all I had to work with was chaos 956 | Keep stress out of your life. Give it to others instead 957 | Keep the pointy end forward and the dirty side down 958 | Kilroy occupied these spatial coordinates 959 | Kiss me twice, I'm schizophrenic 960 | Klatu barada nikto 961 | Klein bottle for rent 962 | Kleptomaniac: A rich thief 963 | Knocked; you weren't in 964 | Know thyself 965 | Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions 966 | Landing: A controlled mid-air collision with a planet 967 | Late to bed, early to rise, makes a man tired 968 | Laugh alone, and the world thinks you're an idiot 969 | Laugh at your problems; everybody else does 970 | Lawyers: America's untapped export market 971 | Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself 972 | Leakproof seals... Do 973 | Learn from your parents' mistakes 974 | Learn the rules. Then break some 975 | Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse 976 | Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts 977 | Legalize freedom 978 | Let not the sands of time get in your lunch 979 | Let's get drunk and be somebody 980 | Let's hope God grades on a curve 981 | Liberal arts major... Will think for money 982 | Liberal: A Conservative who has just been arrested 983 | Licorice is the liver of candy 984 | Life 985 | Life begins at the centerfold and expands outward 986 | Life does not begin at 40 for those who went 60 at 20 987 | Life is a game of bridge 988 | Life is a jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing 989 | Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease 990 | Life is antagonistic to the living 991 | Life is carcinogenic 992 | Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts 993 | Life is difficult because it is non-linear 994 | Life is just a stage: We all go through it 995 | Life is just sudden-death overtime 996 | Life is like an analogy 997 | Life is nature's way of keeping meat fresh 998 | Life is not for everyone 999 | Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep 1000 | Life is the ultimate cause of death 1001 | Life is too important to be taken seriously 1002 | Life is tough. If it wasn't, anybody could do it 1003 | Life is uncertain, so eat dessert first 1004 | Life is wasted on the living 1005 | Life is what puts the "pee" in entropy 1006 | Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show 1007 | Life without caffeine is stimulating enough 1008 | Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! 1009 | Little things come in small packages 1010 | Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse 1011 | Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift 1012 | Loafer: Someone trying to make two weekends meet 1013 | Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence 1014 | Loneliness is a good thing to share with someone 1015 | Look out for number 1. Don't step in number 2 either 1016 | Looking like a weed doesn't make you organic 1017 | Losing my virginity was a career move 1018 | Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math 1019 | Love does much; money does everything 1020 | Love is a vacation from reality 1021 | Love is being stupid together 1022 | Love is blind, but marriage is definitely an eye-opener 1023 | Love is Grand... Divorce is Twenty Grand 1024 | Love is sentimental measles 1025 | Love is sex misspelled 1026 | Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another 1027 | Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence 1028 | Love lasts as long as money endures 1029 | Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes 1030 | Love means nothing to a tennis player 1031 | Love the sea? I dote upon it 1032 | Love thy neighbor: Tune thy piano 1033 | Love thyself, and others will hate thee 1034 | Love your enemies. It will make them crazy 1035 | Love your neighbor, but don't get caught 1036 | Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage 1037 | Love: Two vowels, two consonants, two fools 1038 | LSD melts in your mind, not in your hand 1039 | LSD soaks up 47 times its own weight in excess reality 1040 | Machines have less problems. I'd like to be a machine 1041 | Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change 1042 | Maggit: A subscription card that falls from a magazine 1043 | Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot 1044 | Make yourself at home! Start by cleaning my kitchen 1045 | Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it 1046 | Man is the only animal that blushes 1047 | Man was created to complete the horse 1048 | Managers are like cats in a litter box 1049 | Mankind... infests the whole habitable Earth and Canada 1050 | Manners are the noises you don't make when eating soup 1051 | Many a family tree needs trimming 1052 | Many a yo-yo thinks he has the world on a string 1053 | Many are called, but few are at their desks 1054 | Many are cold, but few are frozen 1055 | Many pages make a crowded castle 1056 | Marriage causes dating problems 1057 | Marriage is a rest period between romances 1058 | Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno 1059 | Marriage is an institution 1060 | Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence 1061 | Marriage is not for wimps 1062 | Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly 1063 | Marriage is the sole cause of divorce 1064 | Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth 1065 | Masturbation is having sex with someone I love 1066 | Mathematicians are willing to assume anything 1067 | Mathematicians take it to the limit 1068 | Matrimony is the root of all evil 1069 | Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value 1070 | Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up 1071 | May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse 1072 | May you have many friends and very few living enemies 1073 | Me... A skeptic?? I trust you have proof? 1074 | Meditation is not what you think 1075 | Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses 1076 | Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples 1077 | Meteorologists have warm fronts 1078 | Michelangelo would have made better time with a roller 1079 | Microwaves frizz your heir 1080 | Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms 1081 | Miracles are great, but they are so damned unpredictable 1082 | Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue 1083 | Monday is the root of all evil 1084 | Money costs too much 1085 | Money DOES talk 1086 | Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots 1087 | More than enough is too much 1088 | Most general statements are false, including this one 1089 | Most lipstick contains fish scales 1090 | Mother is the invention of necessity 1091 | Mother told me to be good, but she has been wrong before 1092 | Mountain range: A cooking stove used at high altitudes 1093 | Mouse potato: The computer equivalent of a TV addict 1094 | Mummy: An Egyptian who was pressed for time 1095 | Murphy never met anyone he didn't meet 1096 | Murphy was an optimist 1097 | My body is rejecting me 1098 | My commitment is to truth, not consistency 1099 | My favorite book on tape is, "Where's Waldo?" 1100 | My God is alive and kicking. Sorry about yours 1101 | My inferiority complex isn't very good 1102 | My mother had morning sickness after I was born 1103 | My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips 1104 | My reality check just bounced 1105 | My reputation grows with every failure 1106 | My toughest fight was with my first wife 1107 | My truck does not leak, it's marking its territory 1108 | My whole life has been an out-of-body experience 1109 | My wife ran off with my best friend, and I miss him 1110 | Myth: A young female moth 1111 | Narcolepulacy: The contagious action of yawning 1112 | Nature abhors a hero 1113 | Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter 1114 | Nature always sides with the hidden flaw 1115 | Neanderthals delivered children without training manuals 1116 | Necessity has no law; I know some attorneys of the same 1117 | Necessity is a mother 1118 | Neckties strangle clear thinking 1119 | Neutrinos have bad breadth 1120 | Neutrinos have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic! 1121 | Never be photographed with a cocktail glass in your hand 1122 | Never be worth more to anyone dead than alive 1123 | Never believe a rumor until it is officially denied 1124 | Never buy anything electrical at a flea market 1125 | Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow 1126 | Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you 1127 | Never eat anything bigger than your head 1128 | Never eat more than you can lift 1129 | Never give an inch! 1130 | Never go to bed mad; stay up and fight 1131 | Never have any children, only grandchildren 1132 | Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time 1133 | Never laugh at live dragons 1134 | Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer 1135 | Never look back, someone might be gaining on you 1136 | Never make forecasts, especially about the future 1137 | Never miss a good chance to shut up 1138 | Never pass a snowplow on the right 1139 | Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today 1140 | Never replace a successful experiment 1141 | Never say anything more predictive than, "Watch this!" 1142 | Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius 1143 | Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself 1144 | Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself 1145 | Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog 1146 | Never tell your mom her diet's not working 1147 | Never throw a bird at a dragon 1148 | Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape 1149 | Never trust a dog to watch your food 1150 | Never try to baptize a cat 1151 | Never try to outstubborn a cat 1152 | Never verb your nouns 1153 | New: Different color from previous model 1154 | Niagara Falls is beautiful for thirty seconds 1155 | Nice guys don't finish nice 1156 | Nice guys don't get laid 1157 | Nice perfume... Must you marinate in it? 1158 | Nice tie 1159 | Nihilism should commence with oneself 1160 | Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name 1161 | No brains, no headache 1162 | No generalization is wholly true, not even this one 1163 | No good deed goes unpunished 1164 | No guts, no glory 1165 | No job is so simple that it cannot be done wrong 1166 | No maintenance: Impossible to fix 1167 | No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas 1168 | No matter how much you do, you never do enough 1169 | No matter what you do, someone always knew you would 1170 | No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid 1171 | No one is listening until you make a mistake 1172 | No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere 1173 | No sentence fragments 1174 | No trespassing without permission 1175 | No verb is not a crime. No crime, no sentence 1176 | Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest 1177 | Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! 1178 | Nobody goes there anymore 'cause it's too crowded 1179 | Nobody knows the trouble I have been 1180 | Nobody remembers the second person to say E = mc2 1181 | Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong 1182 | Nonsense. Space is blue and birds fly through it 1183 | Norwegians have deep pockets, but very short arms 1184 | Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be 1185 | Not all men are annoying. Some are dead 1186 | Not so random and clumsy as a blaster 1187 | Nothin' ain't worth nothin', but it's free 1188 | Nothing can be done in one trip 1189 | Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget 1190 | Nothing exceeds like excess 1191 | Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses 1192 | Nothing is certain but the unforeseen 1193 | Nothing is finished until the paperwork is done 1194 | Nothing is so impudent as success 1195 | Nothing is so smiple that it cannot be screwed up 1196 | Nothing recedes like success 1197 | Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it 1198 | Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits 1199 | Now that I have it all, can I give some of it away? 1200 | Nuclear war would really set back cable 1201 | Nudists are people who wear one-button suits 1202 | Nudists are the last people you want to see naked 1203 | Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable 1204 | Of course I am happily married 1205 | Often it is fatal to live too long 1206 | Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home! 1207 | Oh, if faces could only talk! 1208 | Old accountants never die; they just lose their balance 1209 | Old actors never die; they just drop apart 1210 | Old age comes at a bad time 1211 | Old age: You + 20 years 1212 | Old bankers never die; they just lose interest 1213 | Old beekeepers never die; they just buzz off 1214 | Old cashiers never die; they just check out 1215 | Old chauffeurs never die; they just lose their drive 1216 | Old cooks never die; they just get deranged 1217 | Old daredevils never die; they just get discouraged 1218 | Old deans never die; they just lose their faculties 1219 | Old doctors never die; they just lose their patience 1220 | Old electricians never die; they just lose contact 1221 | Old farmers never die; they just go to seed 1222 | Old frogs never die; they just croak 1223 | Old hippies never die; they just smell that way 1224 | Old investors never die; they just roll over 1225 | Old is needing a fire permit for your birthday cake 1226 | Old lawyers never die; they just lose their appeal 1227 | Old limbo dancers never die; they just go under 1228 | Old mathematicians never die; they just disintegrate 1229 | Old milkmaids never die; they just lose their whey 1230 | Old musicians never die; they just get played out 1231 | Old owls never die; they just don't give a hoot 1232 | Old pacifists never die; they just go to peaces 1233 | Old photographers never die; they just stop developing 1234 | Old pilots never die; they just go to a higher plane 1235 | Old policemen never die; they just cop out 1236 | Old postmen never die; they just lose their zip 1237 | Old schools never die; they just lose their principals 1238 | Old sculptors never die; they just lose their marbles 1239 | Old seers never die; they just lose their vision 1240 | Old sewage workers never die; they just waste away 1241 | Old skiers never die; they just go downhill 1242 | Old steelmakers never die; they just lose their temper 1243 | Old students never die; they just get degraded 1244 | Old tanners never die; they just go into hiding 1245 | Old teachers never die; they just lose their class 1246 | Old wrestlers never die; they just lose their grip 1247 | Omniscience: Talking only about things you know about 1248 | On the other hand, you have different fingers 1249 | On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia 1250 | On time. No defects. Pick one 1251 | Once upon a time: Back when snakes used to walk 1252 | Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall 1253 | One Bell System 1254 | One bit of advice: Don't give it 1255 | One day you will find yourself and be quite disappointed 1256 | One figure can sometimes add up to a lot 1257 | One good turn usually gets most of the blanket 1258 | One millionth of a mouthwash = one microscope 1259 | One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me 1260 | One picture is worth a few thousand bucks 1261 | One seventh of your life is spent on Monday 1262 | One should always be a little improbable 1263 | One size fits all: Doesn't fit anyone 1264 | One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor 1265 | One thing leads to another, and usually does 1266 | Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star 1267 | Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps 1268 | Only fools are quoted 1269 | Only God could mess up your life that much 1270 | Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment 1271 | Optimist: Woman who regards a bulge as a curve 1272 | Oregonians don't tan, they rust 1273 | Our parents were never our age 1274 | Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing 1275 | Our sequiturs tend to be non 1276 | Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal 1277 | Outpatient: A person who has fainted 1278 | Pain is just a sensory input 1279 | Pain is temporary. Either it goes away, or you do 1280 | Pampered cows give spoiled milk 1281 | Panic is the second time you can't do it the first time 1282 | Paper is always strongest at the perforations 1283 | Paradox: An assistant to PhDs 1284 | Patience is counting down without blasting off 1285 | Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse 1286 | Pediatricians eat, because children don't 1287 | People are idiots 1288 | People have one thing in common: They are all different 1289 | People who go to conferences are the ones who should not 1290 | People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw parties 1291 | People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses 1292 | People who verb nouns really weird language 1293 | People will buy anything that is one to a customer 1294 | Perfect guest: One who makes his host feel at home 1295 | Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness 1296 | Phasers locked on target, Captain 1297 | Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth 1298 | Pity the poor egg; it only gets laid once 1299 | Plagiarism: Losers must be choosers 1300 | Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow 1301 | Planet three is the place to be! 1302 | Plastic explosives will be appropriate later in the week 1303 | Plunder first, THEN pillage 1304 | Politicians aren't born, they're excreted 1305 | Politics consists of deals and ideals 1306 | Politics: The art of turning influence into affluence 1307 | Positive: Being mistaken at the top of your voice 1308 | Power corrupts. Absolute power is great! 1309 | Power means not having to respond 1310 | Predestination was doomed from the start 1311 | Prejudice doesn't have a Chinaman's chance in Chicago 1312 | Pressure: The normal force acting upon an engineer 1313 | Pride is what we have... Vanity is what others have 1314 | Princesses don't do dishes or take out garbage 1315 | Prisoners talk to each other on cell phones 1316 | Pro is to con as progress is to Congress 1317 | Procrastinate now 1318 | Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry 1319 | Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday 1320 | Professor: One who talks in someone else's sleep 1321 | Progress is made on alternate Fridays 1322 | Proofread carefully to see if you words out 1323 | Proofreading is more effective after publication 1324 | Properly trained, a man can be a dog's best friend 1325 | Proximity isn't everything, but it comes close 1326 | Prunes give you a run for your money 1327 | Psychiatry: Figuring out the program from the printout 1328 | Psychosclerosis: Hardening of the attitude 1329 | Public speaking is very easy 1330 | Push something hard enough and it will fall over 1331 | Pushing 40 is exercise enough 1332 | Quack! 1333 | Quality assurance doesn't 1334 | Quark! Quark! Beware the quantum duck! 1335 | Quip pro quo: A fast retort 1336 | Quit working and play for once! 1337 | Quo signo nata es? (What's your sign?) 1338 | Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research 1339 | Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives 1340 | Rain is saved up in cloud banks 1341 | Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down 1342 | Read my lips: No new taxes 1343 | Read the directions, even if you don't follow them 1344 | Real life is not like this 1345 | Real Work + Appearance of Work = Total Work 1346 | Reality 1347 | Reality has a well-known liberal bias 1348 | Reality is an illusion brought on by lack of alcohol 1349 | Reality is an obstacle to hallucination 1350 | Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs 1351 | Reality is for people who can't face science fiction 1352 | Reality is for people who lack imagination 1353 | Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity 1354 | Recent studies prove I don't have to be reasonable 1355 | Recycle old photons 1356 | Recycle your mother-in-law 1357 | Red lights always last longer than green lights 1358 | Refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person 1359 | Regulations grow at the same rate as weeds 1360 | Rehab is for quitters 1361 | Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly 1362 | Religions are maintained by people who can't get laid 1363 | Remember to breathe when your head is above water 1364 | Remember to finish what 1365 | Remember, life is not a test, it is an actual emergency 1366 | Reputation: What others are not thinking about you 1367 | Respondez s'il vous plaid. (Honk if you're Scottish.) 1368 | Responsibility always exceeds authority 1369 | Reunite Pangea! 1370 | Roll up your sleeves... And you won't lose your shirt 1371 | Rubber bands have snappy endings 1372 | Rugged: Too heavy to lift 1373 | Sacred cows make the best hamburger 1374 | Sagan: The international unit of humility 1375 | Sailing is a form of mast transit 1376 | Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited 1377 | Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses 1378 | Sarcasm is just one more service we offer 1379 | Satisfaction guaranteed, or twice your load back 1380 | Save energy: Be apathetic 1381 | Save the whales. Collect the whole set 1382 | Schroedinger's cat might have died for your sins 1383 | Science is a game for the fame of the name 1384 | Science is material. Religion is immaterial 1385 | Scientists are explorers; philosophers are just tourists 1386 | Scotty, beam me up a double! 1387 | Sculpture: Mud pies that endure 1388 | Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience 1389 | See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil 1390 | Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing 1391 | Seek and ye shall have sought 1392 | Seek simplicity 1393 | Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it 1394 | Self-control: The ability to eat only one peanut 1395 | Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence 1396 | Sex for money usually costs a lot less than sex for free 1397 | Sex has no calories 1398 | Sex is dirty only when it's done right 1399 | Sex is so popular because it's centrally located 1400 | Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing 1401 | Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off 1402 | Shakespeare thought more of the lady than of the poem 1403 | She loves you as much as she can, which is not very much 1404 | She walks as if balancing the family tree on her nose 1405 | She was a sigh to behold 1406 | She was all signs and no scenery 1407 | She was suffering from fallen archness 1408 | Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? 1409 | Show off: A child who is more talented than yours 1410 | Shut her down Scotty, she's sucking mud again! 1411 | Sign at a bar: We install and service hangovers 1412 | Sign in electrician's office: Let us remove your shorts 1413 | Sign in tire shop: Invite us to your next blowout 1414 | Silly is a state of mind. Stupid is a way of life 1415 | Smile! You're on Candid Camera 1416 | Smile, tomorrow will be worse 1417 | Smile... People will wonder what you have been up to 1418 | Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics 1419 | Snackmosphere: The 95% air inside bags of potato chips 1420 | So long, and thanks for all the fish 1421 | So many men, so little time 1422 | So, what's the speed of dark? 1423 | Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock 1424 | Solipsism: I think, therefore you are 1425 | Solipsists of the world, unite! 1426 | Some are wise, and some are otherwise 1427 | Some days are more expensive than others 1428 | Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant 1429 | Some is good, more is better, too much is just right 1430 | Some men are discovered; others are found out 1431 | Some of us quit looking for work when we find a job 1432 | Some people who can, should not 1433 | Some trails are uphill in both directions 1434 | Someday you will get your big chance 1435 | Someone is speaking well of you. How unusual! 1436 | Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar 1437 | Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done 1438 | Sometimes people don't recognize how wise you are 1439 | Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma 1440 | Sounds like a personal problem to me 1441 | Souport publik edekasion 1442 | Spare no expense to save money on this one 1443 | Speak softly and carry a cellular phone 1444 | Speed is n subsittute fo accurancy 1445 | Spelling is a lossed art 1446 | Spending on the military doesn't increase the deficit 1447 | Spinster: A bachelor's wife 1448 | Stalin's grave is a communist plot 1449 | Start every day off with a smile and get it over with 1450 | Statisticians do it with 95 percent confidence 1451 | Stay away from flying saucers today 1452 | Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly 1453 | Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph 1454 | Stupidity got us into this mess 1455 | Stupidity is a renewable resource 1456 | Stupidity is not a survival trait 1457 | Subject and verb always has to agree 1458 | Success comes in cans, failure in can'ts 1459 | Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism 1460 | Superiority is a recessive trait 1461 | Support Search 1462 | Sure fire diet: Swallowing pride 1463 | Sure it will sell product, but will it win awards? 1464 | Swimming pool: A mob of people with water in it 1465 | System-independent: Works equally poorly on all systems 1466 | Tact is the unsaid part of what you are thinking 1467 | Tact: Changing the subject without changing the mind 1468 | Take it easy, we're in a hurry 1469 | Take me drunk, I'm home 1470 | Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors 1471 | Take what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof 1472 | Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds the demand 1473 | Talk is cheap, unless you hire a lawyer 1474 | Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! 1475 | Teach your kids the value of money 1476 | Teachers are the only profession that teach our children 1477 | Technique: A trick that works 1478 | Teenagers are two year olds with hormones and wheels 1479 | Terrorists blow up celluloid factory... No film at 11 1480 | Texans are southerners with an attitude 1481 | Texas remains our largest unfrozen state 1482 | Thank God we can't prove he exists 1483 | Thank you for observing all safety precautions 1484 | That man's silence is wonderful to listen to 1485 | That must be wonderful; I don't understand it at all 1486 | That that is is that that is not is not 1487 | The 51st state of the USA is paranoia 1488 | The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech 1489 | The adverb always follows the verb 1490 | The beatings will continue until morale improves 1491 | The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning 1492 | The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep 1493 | The best parachute folders are those who jump themselves 1494 | The best time to buy anything is last year 1495 | The best vacations are spent near the budget 1496 | The best way out of yourself is through someone else 1497 | The bigger they are, the harder they hit 1498 | The biggest fish he ever caught were those that got away 1499 | The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used 1500 | The chicken was the egg's idea of getting more eggs 1501 | The chief cause of problems is solutions 1502 | The cost of feathers is higher. Down is up 1503 | The covers of this book are too far apart 1504 | The dandelion song: I fought the lawn, and the lawn won 1505 | The day will happen whether or not you get up 1506 | The death rate on Earth is: One per person 1507 | The dog's life is a good life, for a dog 1508 | The early worm gets eaten first 1509 | The early worm gets the late bird 1510 | The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours 1511 | The eastern part of Asia is called Euthanasia 1512 | The English spell much better than they pronounce 1513 | The fact that it works is immaterial 1514 | The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant 1515 | The famous politician was trying to save both his faces 1516 | The fewer the data points, the smoother the curve 1517 | The first liar has a significant advantage 1518 | The first myth about management is that it exists 1519 | The first rule of gun fighting is 1520 | The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers 1521 | The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization 1522 | The following statement is not true.. 1523 | The Forecaster Hall of Fame is an empty room 1524 | The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar 1525 | The French for London is Paris 1526 | The future will be better tomorrow 1527 | The general direction of the Alps is straight up 1528 | The hardest thing to stop is a temporary chairman 1529 | The highway of life is always under construction 1530 | The holodeck will be society's last invention 1531 | The idea is to die young as late as possible 1532 | The IRS has what it takes to take what you've got 1533 | The key to longevity is to keep breathing 1534 | The law of gravity was enacted by the British Parliament 1535 | The meek shall inherit the Earth 1536 | The more people I meet, the more I like my dog 1537 | The more things change, the more they stay insane 1538 | The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey 1539 | The most common name in the world is Mohammed 1540 | The moving finger having writ... Gestures 1541 | The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours 1542 | The number one thing only women understand: Other women 1543 | The older I get, the better I used to be 1544 | The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism 1545 | The only bad publicity is your obituary 1546 | The only easy day was yesterday 1547 | The only short meetings are when no one shows up 1548 | The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on 1549 | The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings 1550 | The optimum committee has no members 1551 | The other line always moves faster 1552 | The pen is mightier than the pencil 1553 | The perfect lover would turn into a pizza at 4 am 1554 | The person who walks alone is soon trailed by the FBI 1555 | The perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum 1556 | The phrase "working mother" is redundant 1557 | The plural of "musical instrument" is "orchestra" 1558 | The poor ye have with ye always 1559 | The prairies are vast plains covered by treeless forests 1560 | The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding 1561 | The punishment for bigamy is two mothers-in-law 1562 | The purpose of the body is to carry the brain around 1563 | The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi 1564 | The real thing does not advertise 1565 | The richer your friends, the more they will cost you 1566 | The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers 1567 | The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography 1568 | The second best policy is dishonesty 1569 | The secret of being a bore is to tell everything 1570 | The secret of life is to look good at a distance 1571 | The seminar for time travel will be held two weeks ago 1572 | The shortest distance between two points is no fun 1573 | The shortest distance between two points is through hell 1574 | The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick 1575 | The Society of Independent People has no members 1576 | The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest 1577 | The voices in my head tell me I'm perfectly sane 1578 | The wages of sin are probably not what you're making now 1579 | The weather at home improves as soon as you go away 1580 | The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful 1581 | The winds of change aren't what they used to be 1582 | The Wonder Bra will give a cucumber a cleavage 1583 | The word today is legs... Spread the word 1584 | The world is run by C students 1585 | The worst thing about censorship is xxxxxxxxxx 1586 | The zebra is chiefly used to illustrate the letter Z 1587 | There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball 1588 | There are as many grammars as there are grammarians 1589 | There are more old drunkards than old doctors 1590 | There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace 1591 | There are no failures at a class reunion 1592 | There is a 20% chance of tomorrow 1593 | There is a vas deferens between men and women 1594 | There is always more hell that needs raising 1595 | There is always one more imbecile than you counted on 1596 | There is at least one fool in every married couple 1597 | There is exactly one true categorical statement 1598 | There is no bad beer. Some kinds are better than others 1599 | There is no devil; it's God when he's drunk 1600 | There is no excuse for laziness, but I am working on it 1601 | There is no future in time travel 1602 | There is no problem a good miracle can't solve 1603 | There is no remedy for sex but more sex 1604 | There is no room in the drug world for amateurs 1605 | There is no such thing as a little garlic 1606 | There is no time like the pleasant 1607 | There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax 1608 | There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation 1609 | There is nothing you can do that can't be done 1610 | There is only one way up a mountain, but 360 ways down 1611 | There isn't room enough in this dress for both of us 1612 | There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing 1613 | There's plenty of room at the bottom 1614 | They also serve who only pay their dues 1615 | They also surf who only stand on waves 1616 | They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist.. 1617 | Things are more like they used to be than they are now 1618 | Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other 1619 | Things look better when they are falling down 1620 | Things to do today: 1. Hunt. 2. Gather 1621 | Things won't get any better, so get used to it 1622 | Things work better if you plug them in 1623 | Think honk if you are telepathic 1624 | Third marriage is the triumph of desperation over wisdom 1625 | This book fills a much-needed gap 1626 | This fortune is encrypted 1627 | This fortune is inoperative. Please try another 1628 | This is a good time to punt work 1629 | This is a great day for France! 1630 | This is a recording 1631 | This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it 1632 | This is National Non-Dairy Creamer Week 1633 | This is the day for firm decisions! Or is it? 1634 | This is the sort of English up with which I will not put 1635 | This isn't right. This isn't even wrong 1636 | This prediction will not come true 1637 | This report is filled with omissions 1638 | This sentance has threee errors 1639 | This sentence no verb 1640 | This will be a memorable month 1641 | This won't hurt, did it? 1642 | This won't hurt, I promise 1643 | Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark 1644 | Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate 1645 | Those who don't mingle will die single 1646 | Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't 1647 | Three good things about school: June, July, August 1648 | Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead 1649 | Thumbs Up to a Healthy Prostate! 1650 | Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana 1651 | Time flies when you don't know what you are doing 1652 | Time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so 1653 | Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician 1654 | Time's fun when you're having flies 1655 | To be, or not to be 1656 | To err is human 1657 | To err is human; to admit it is a blunder 1658 | To err is human; To forgive is Not Company Policy 1659 | To err is human; to forgive is unusual 1660 | To err is human; to moo, bovine 1661 | To generalize is to be an idiot 1662 | To get holy water, boil the hell out of it 1663 | To hell with deep thoughts, this is the mating process 1664 | To know recursion, you must first know recursion 1665 | To make God laugh, tell him your plans 1666 | To split is human, to infinitive, divine 1667 | To YOU I am an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition 1668 | Today is a good day for you to jump in a lake 1669 | Today is the first day of the rest of the mess 1670 | Today is the last day of the past of your life 1671 | Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday 1672 | Tomorrow looks like a good day to sleep in 1673 | Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest 1674 | Too much is not enough 1675 | Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL 1676 | Toothaches tend to start on a Saturday night 1677 | Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore 1678 | Trends are the new trend 1679 | Truthful: Dumb and illiterate 1680 | Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today 1681 | Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance 1682 | Try to look unimportant, they might be low on ammo 1683 | Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week 1684 | Turnabite is foreplay 1685 | Twenty percent of zero is better than nothing 1686 | Two can live as cheaply as one for half as long 1687 | Two cars in every pot and a chicken in every garage 1688 | Two heads are more numerous than one 1689 | Two is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2 1690 | Two thousand mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 1691 | Two wrongs are only the beginning 1692 | Two wrongs do not make a right, but the three... do 1693 | UFOs are real. The Air Force doesn't exist 1694 | Under every stone lurks a politician 1695 | Under-Achievers Anonymous has an 11-step program 1696 | Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition 1697 | Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all 1698 | Use the word "paradigm" several times a day 1699 | Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives 1700 | Ventis secundis, tene cursum. (Go with the flow.) 1701 | Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things 1702 | Verbs have to agree with their subjects 1703 | Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes 1704 | Vescere bracis meis. (Eat my shorts.) 1705 | Virgin wool comes from ugly sheep 1706 | Virginity can be cured 1707 | Virtual reality is its own reward 1708 | VISA la France. (Don't leave the chateau without it.) 1709 | Volcano: A mountain with hiccups 1710 | Vote anarchist 1711 | Vote yes on no 1712 | Wagner's music is better than it sounds 1713 | Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation 1714 | War is God's way of teaching us geography 1715 | War is menstruation envy 1716 | Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear 1717 | Warranty clauses are voided by payment of the invoice 1718 | Waste not, get your budget cut next year 1719 | Water? I never touch the stuff: Fish make love in it 1720 | We all keep busy keeping each other busy 1721 | We are all self-made, but only the rich will admit it 1722 | We are living in a golden age. All you need is gold 1723 | We are sorry. We cannot complete your call as dialed 1724 | We are the people our parents warned us about 1725 | We buy junk and sell antiques 1726 | We can all admit we like acronyms and leave it at that 1727 | We can't leave the haphazard to chance 1728 | We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure 1729 | We dispense with accuracy 1730 | We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? 1731 | We have nothing to fear about work but the work itself 1732 | We have the best politicians that money can buy 1733 | We have them just where they want us 1734 | We learn by making better mistakes 1735 | We will get along fine as soon as you realize I am God 1736 | We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container 1737 | Wealth: The ability to support debt 1738 | Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise 1739 | What did God say after creating man? "I can do better." 1740 | What do women want? Nowadays mainly... Other women 1741 | What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association 1742 | What doesn't kill us makes us bitter 1743 | What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 1744 | What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? 1745 | What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes 1746 | What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull 1747 | What has reality ever done for anyone? 1748 | What if there were no hypothetical situations? 1749 | What is another word for Thesaurus? 1750 | What is Life? It's the cereal Mikey likes 1751 | What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind 1752 | What is research but a blind date with knowledge? 1753 | What orators lack in depth they make up for in length 1754 | What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? 1755 | What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn? 1756 | What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? 1757 | What! Me worry? 1758 | Whatever became of eternal truth? 1759 | Whatever is your lot in life, build on it 1760 | Whatever it is, I am against it 1761 | Whatever it is, I didn't do it! 1762 | When a girl goes bad 1763 | When all else fails, lower your standards 1764 | When all else fails, try reading the directions 1765 | When angry, count four; when very angry, swear 1766 | When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve 1767 | When God gives you AIDS... make lemonAIDS 1768 | When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up 1769 | When I was a Brownie, I ate all the cookies 1770 | When in doubt, lead trump 1771 | When it rains, it pours 1772 | When it's you against the world, bet on the world 1773 | When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat 1774 | When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws 1775 | When Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years 1776 | When talking nonsense try not to be serious 1777 | When the going gets tough, everyone leaves 1778 | When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping 1779 | When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro 1780 | When there's a will, I want to be in it 1781 | When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in? 1782 | When this sign is under water, this road is impassable 1783 | When working on a problem, it helps to know the answer 1784 | When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut 1785 | When you feel terrific, notify your face 1786 | When you sit too long on the ice, you get a polaroid 1787 | When your memory goes, forget it! 1788 | Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? 1789 | Where is Denver? Denver is just below the O in Colorado 1790 | Where there's a whip, there's a way 1791 | Where there's a will, there's a relative 1792 | Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax 1793 | Wherever you go, there you are 1794 | While in jail a man worked on his alibiography 1795 | Whining martyrs get a lot of stage time 1796 | White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship 1797 | Who am I to criticize another maniac? 1798 | Who are these children, and why are they calling me Mom? 1799 | Who cares about procreation, as long as it tickles? 1800 | Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"? 1801 | Who was that masked man? 1802 | Who's on first? 1803 | Whoever it was who told you you were wrong was right 1804 | Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 1805 | Why argue when we both know I am right? 1806 | Why did God give us ten fingers and only two nostrils? 1807 | Why did the elephant cross the road? Chicken's day off 1808 | Why didn't Noah just swat those two mosquitos? 1809 | Why do expenses always rise to meet income? 1810 | Why do men die before their wives? They want to 1811 | Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? 1812 | Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? 1813 | Why does bread always fall butter side down? 1814 | Why does sour cream have an expiration date? 1815 | Why does the other lane always move faster? 1816 | Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 1817 | Why doesn't life come with subtitles? 1818 | Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here? 1819 | Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? 1820 | Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? 1821 | Why is it called "rush hour" when nothing moves? 1822 | Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? 1823 | Why is there a "permanent press" setting on an iron? 1824 | Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it's said? 1825 | Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 1826 | Why listen to reason when insanity prevails? 1827 | Why was I born with such contemporaries? 1828 | Why would anyone want to be called Later? 1829 | Wilderness: A place where something might eat you 1830 | Wine and youth increase love 1831 | Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything 1832 | Wisdom is only happening to guess right 1833 | With a rubber duck, one's never alone 1834 | With enough garlic, you can eat the New York Times 1835 | With enough thrust, pigs fly just fine 1836 | With sex, who cares if practice doesn't make perfect 1837 | Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless 1838 | Without life, biology itself would be impossible 1839 | Woman was God's second mistake 1840 | Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay 1841 | Women like the simplest things in life... Men 1842 | Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place 1843 | Women speak in estrogen but men listen in testosterone 1844 | Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal 1845 | Women who desire to be like men, lack ambition 1846 | Women who love only women may have a good point 1847 | Women: We cannot love them all. But we must try 1848 | Work is the curse of the drinking classes 1849 | Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy 1850 | Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 1851 | Would it help if I got out and pushed? 1852 | Write all adverbial forms correct 1853 | Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided 1854 | Yale is one big party... With a $25K cover charge 1855 | Yawning is an orgasm for your face 1856 | Years of development: We finally got one to work 1857 | Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints 1858 | Yield to temptation; it might not pass your way again 1859 | YKK on a zipper stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikigaisha 1860 | You are confused; but this is your normal state 1861 | You are entitled to your own wrong opinion 1862 | You are here. But you are not all there 1863 | You are in a maze of little twisting passages, all alike 1864 | You are never going to fail unless you try 1865 | You are not as fat as you imagine 1866 | You are not from Earth, are you? 1867 | You are not paranoid if they're really after you.. 1868 | You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny 1869 | You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers 1870 | You can never find a lost-and-found when you need one 1871 | You can observe a lot just by watchin' 1872 | You can rent this profound space for only $5 a week 1873 | You can tell if you're on the right track 1874 | You can't belay a man who's falling in love 1875 | You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out 1876 | You can't fool me 1877 | You can't get there from here 1878 | You can't have Kate and Edith too! 1879 | You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk 1880 | You can't legislate against human nature 1881 | You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it 1882 | You could be playing a video game instead 1883 | You couldn't pay me to work on commission 1884 | You don't know what you're talking about, do you? 1885 | You have an important role as a negative example 1886 | You have been selected for a secret mission 1887 | You have good manners, but never carry them about you 1888 | You made me think. I will be wary of you in the future 1889 | You never find a lost item until after you replace it 1890 | You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive 1891 | You now have Asian Flu 1892 | You should avoid hedging, at least that's what I think 1893 | You should hardly ever equivocate 1894 | You were conspicuous by your absence 1895 | You will be surprised by a loud noise 1896 | You will become rich and famous, unless you don't 1897 | You will feel hungry again in another hour 1898 | You will soon forget this 1899 | You will step on the night soil of many countries 1900 | You will wish you hadn't 1901 | You won't skid if you stay in a rut 1902 | You! Off my planet! 1903 | You'll find it all at Greeley Mall 1904 | You're not late until you get there 1905 | Your boss is the biggest obstacle to workday leisure 1906 | Your check is in the mail 1907 | Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now) 1908 | Your love life will be... Interesting 1909 | Your lucky number has been disconnected 1910 | Your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. 1911 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/404.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
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9 | ERROR 404: PAGE NOT FOUND 10 |
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Look like you lost in the void.

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Go back to home

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18 | {%endblock%} 19 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/about.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
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9 | About Me 10 |
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Hi there! I'm an aspiring programmer (or atleast what i think so).

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The few things that i like

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  • Competitive programming

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  • Game development and 3D graphic designing

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  • Linear algebra and Calculus

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  • Poetry and Literature

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If you like my Blog, you can follow me on github

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30 | 31 | {%endblock%} 32 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/addvideo.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
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10 | Hello Blue


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Sorry! The password is not right
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41 | {%endblock%} 42 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/admin.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 64 | {%endblock%} 65 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/base.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Blue's Blog 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 59 | 60 | {%block body%}{%endblock%} 61 | 62 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/config.json: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | { 2 | "para":{ 3 | "key":"db4935df3218d075368fce45f31fa61acc23dfa2865e0191dd9ad33237e9a59e", 4 | "user":"Blue", 5 | "nofpost": 2 6 | } 7 | } 8 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/delete.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
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{{post.title}}

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{{post.content}}
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Sorry! The password is not right
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40 | {%endblock%} 41 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/deletegame.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 5 |
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7 | {% set fname = 'img/games/' + game.nick + '.png' %} 8 | 14 |
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Sorry! The password is not right
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35 | {% endblock %} 36 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/deletevideo.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 5 |
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Sorry! The password is not right
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31 |
32 | {%endblock%} 33 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/edit.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends "base.html" %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
4 | {% for post in posts %} 5 |
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{{post.title}}

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16 | {% endfor %} 17 |
18 | 19 | {%endblock%} 20 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/editblog.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
5 |
6 | {% set fname = 'img/post/'+post.image %} 7 |
8 |
9 | 10 |

11 | Hello Blue


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Sorry! The password is not right
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43 | {%endblock%} 44 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/editgame.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
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10 | Hello Blue


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Sorry! The password is not right
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57 |
58 | {%endblock%} 59 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/editor.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends "base.html" %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
4 | {% for game in games %} 5 |
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{{game.dis}}

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15 |
16 | {% endfor %} 17 |
18 | 19 | {%endblock%} 20 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/editvideo.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
5 | {% for video in videos %} 6 |
7 |
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{{video.title}}

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11 |
12 | {% endfor %} 13 | 14 |
15 | {%endblock%} 16 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/games/fullsc.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | {{game.name}} 7 | 8 | 9 | {% set fname='js/games/' + game.nick + '.js' %} 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/games/playgame.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
4 |
5 |
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7 | {{game.name}} 8 |
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{{game.dis}}

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Play in full screen

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22 | {%endblock%} 23 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/index.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends "base.html" %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 |
4 | {% for post in posts %} 5 | {% set fname = 'img/post/'+post.image %} 6 |
7 |
8 | 11 | 12 |

{{post.title}}

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{{post.content}}
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18 | {% endfor %} 19 |
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21 | Previous 22 | Next 23 | 33 |
34 | 35 | {%endblock%} 36 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/play.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
5 |
6 | {% for game in games %} 7 | {% set fname = 'img/games/' + game.nick + '.png' %} 8 | 14 | {% endfor %} 15 |
16 |
17 | {%endblock%} 18 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/postblog.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 5 |
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9 |

Post image Upload

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23 | 39 | Hello Blue

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Sorry! The password is not right
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Sorry! The file name already exist
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80 |
81 | {%endblock%} 82 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/projects.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 12 | 13 | 21 | 22 | {%endblock%} 23 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/projects/digit.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
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Hand Written Digit recognition by Machine learning

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Last updated on : July 3, 2020
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This is a Hand Written Digit recognition with Neural Networks.

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I started working on this projects two days ago from building an UI to writing a machine 21 | learning program. It not always predict correct. Try to draw around center.

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Go ahead and Give it a try

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Loading...
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30 | Clear 31 | Guess 32 |
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view source code on github

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The Neural Networks uses four layers (input, output and two hidden layers). The hidden layers use 512 dense nodes each. 42 |

The hidden layers uses Rectified linear unit as activation function 43 | while the output layer uses sigmoid function.

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Ps: I think the model is overfitted but i will fix it soon .

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51 | {%endblock%} 52 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/projects/times.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
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Mathologer's multiplication on a circle with modulo

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Last updated on : Sep 11, 2020
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This is a very beautiful representation of Multiplication circle.

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What you are seeing is the pattern obtainained when the number of points on circle, representating certain modulo, 19 | are connected by the other points representating modulo of certain times of themselves.

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22 | Watch the video to understand more

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48 |
49 | {%endblock%} 50 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/upload.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
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8 | 9 |

10 | Hello Blue


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Sorry! The password is not right
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54 | {%endblock%} 55 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /templates/video.html: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | {%extends 'base.html' %} 2 | {%block body%} 3 | 4 |
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6 |

Check Out my Youtube channel

7 |
8 | 9 | {% for video in videos%} 10 | 16 | {% endfor %} 17 | 18 |
19 | {%endblock%} 20 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------