├── .gitignore
├── LICENSE
├── README.md
├── SpeakerNotes.md
├── data
└── shakespeare
│ ├── asyoulikeit
│ ├── comedyoferrors
│ ├── loveslabourslost
│ ├── merrywivesofwindsor
│ ├── midsummersnightsdream
│ ├── muchadoaboutnothing
│ ├── tamingoftheshrew
│ └── twelfthnight
├── images
├── step1.jpg
├── step2.jpg
└── step3.jpg
├── notebooks
├── JustEnoughScalaForSpark.ipynb
└── JustEnoughScalaForSpark.pdf
├── run-docker.bat
├── run-podman.bat
└── run.sh
/.gitignore:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 | *.class
2 | *.log
3 |
4 | .cache
5 | .history
6 | .lib/
7 | dist/*
8 | target/
9 | lib_managed/
10 | src_managed/
11 | project/boot/
12 | project/plugins/project/
13 |
14 | .scala_dependencies
15 | .worksheet
16 |
17 | notebooks/metastore_db/
18 | notebooks/.ipynb_checkpoints/
19 | notebooks/dot.ipynb_checkpoints
20 | .ipynb_checkpoints/
21 | tmp
22 |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
/LICENSE:
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/README.md:
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1 | # Just Enough Scala for Spark
2 |
3 | [](https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark?utm_source=badge&utm_medium=badge&utm_campaign=pr-badge&utm_content=badge)
4 |
5 | * Added instructions for using Podman, fixed image version, Spark 3.2.1, July, 2022
6 | * Minor updates and bug fixes, April, 2021
7 | * Spark Summit San Francisco, June 5, 2017
8 | * Strata London, May 23, 2017
9 | * Strata San Jose, March 14, 2017
10 | * Strata Singapore, December 6, 2016
11 | * Strata NYC, September 27, 2016
12 |
13 | [Dean Wampler, Ph.D.](mailto:deanwampler@gmail.com)
14 | [Chaoran Yu](https://github.com/yuchaoran2011) taught this tutorial at a few conferences, too.
15 |
16 | > **NOTE:** It appears the `jupyter/all-spark-notebook` images are no longer built with Scala support, as of July 2022. These instructions use the last image released with Scala support, also supporting Spark 3.2.1.
17 |
18 | François Sarradin (@fsarradin) and colleagues translated this tutorial to French. You can find it [here](https://github.com/univalence/CeQuilFautDeScalaPourSpark).
19 |
20 | This tutorial now uses a Docker image with Jupyter and Spark, for a much more robust, easy to use, and "industry standard" experience.
21 |
22 | This tutorial covers the most important features and idioms of [Scala](http://scala-lang.org/) you need to use [Apache Spark's](http://spark.apache.org/) Scala APIs. Because Spark is written in Scala, Spark is driving interest in Scala, especially for _data engineers_. _Data scientists_ sometimes use Scala, but most use Python or R.
23 |
24 | > **Tips:**
25 | > 1. If you're taking this tutorial at a conference, it's **essential** that you set up the tutorial ahead of time, as there won't be time during the session to work on any problems.
26 | > 2. Use the [Gitter chat room](https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark) to ask for help or post issues to the [GitHub repo](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/issues) if you have trouble installing or running the tutorial.
27 | > 3. If all else fails, there is a PDF of the tutorial in the `notebooks` directory.
28 |
29 | ## Prerequisites
30 |
31 | I'll assume you have prior programming experience, in any language. Some familiarity with Java is assumed, but if you don't know Java, you should be able to search for explanations for anything unfamiliar.
32 |
33 | This isn't an introduction to Spark itself. Some prior exposure to Spark is helpful, but I'll briefly explain most Spark concepts we'll encounter, too.
34 |
35 | Throughout, you'll find links to more information on important topics.
36 |
37 | ## Download the Tutorial
38 |
39 | Begin by cloning or downloading the tutorial GitHub project [github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark).
40 |
41 | ## About Jupyter with Spark
42 |
43 | This tutorial uses a [Docker](https://docker.com) image that combines the popular [Jupyter](http://jupyter.org/) notebook environment with all the tools you need to run Spark, including the Scala language, called the [All Spark Notebook](https://hub.docker.com/r/jupyter/all-spark-notebook/). It bundles [Apache Toree](https://toree.apache.org/) to provide Spark and Scala access. The [webpage](https://hub.docker.com/r/jupyter/all-spark-notebook/) for this Docker image discusses useful information like using Python as well as Scala, user authentication topics, running your Spark jobs on clusters, rather than local mode, etc.
44 |
45 | There are other notebook options you might investigate for your needs:
46 |
47 | **Open source:**
48 |
49 | * [Polynote](https://polynote.org/) - A cross-language notebook environment with built-in Scala support. Developed by Netflix.
50 | * [Jupyter](https://ipython.org/) + [BeakerX](http://beakerx.com/) - a powerful set of extensions for Jupyter.
51 | * [Zeppelin](http://zeppelin-project.org/) - a popular tool in big data environments
52 |
53 | **Commercial:**
54 |
55 | * [Databricks](https://databricks.com/) - a feature-rich, commercial, cloud-based service from the creators of Spark
56 |
57 | ## Running the Tutorial
58 |
59 | If you need to install Docker _or_ the popular replacement, [Podman](https://podman.io/).
60 |
61 | ### Using Docker
62 |
63 | Follow the [Docker installation instructions](https://www.docker.com/products/overview). The _community edition_ is sufficient. Then start the docker daemon on your machine, as instructed.
64 |
65 | ### Using Podman
66 |
67 | Follow the [Podman installation instructions](https://podman.io/getting-started/installation).
68 |
69 | > **NOTE:** I don't have access to a Windows machine so I have not tested using Podman on Windows with this tutorial. _Caveat emptor_.
70 |
71 | A few other steps are recommended or required.
72 |
73 | First, if you plan to use `podman` instead of `docker`, it's convenient to alias the `docker` commands to corresponding `podman` commands:
74 |
75 | ```shell
76 | alias docker=podman
77 | alias docker-compose=podman-compose
78 | ```
79 |
80 | Similar commands can be used for Windows. If you choose not to do this, just substitute `podman` for `docker` in the commands, shell scripts, and bat scripts discussed below.
81 |
82 | Also, you'll need to initialize a Podman virtual machine. First, see if the default machine was already created by the installer. If so, we'll replace it with a "beefier" one.
83 |
84 | ```shell
85 | podman system connection list # List the VMs defined
86 | ```
87 |
88 | Do you see the following output?
89 |
90 | ```
91 | Name URI Identity Default
92 | podman-machine-default ssh://core@localhost:53933/run/user/501/podman/podman.sock /Users/.../.ssh/podman-machine-default true
93 | podman-machine-default-root ssh://root@localhost:53933/run/podman/podman.sock /Users/.../.ssh/podman-machine-default false
94 | ```
95 |
96 | In this case, run this `rm` command to delete it:
97 |
98 | ```shell
99 | podman machine rm podman-machine-default
100 | ```
101 |
102 | Now use the following commands to create the `podman-machine-default` with more resources and then start it running:
103 |
104 | ```shell
105 | podman machine init --memory=4000 --cpus=4 -v $HOME:$HOME
106 | podman machine start
107 | ```
108 |
109 | > **Tip:** Run `podman machine stop` when you are finished with the tutorial.
110 |
111 | When you start the machine, you might see the following output:
112 |
113 | ```
114 | $ podman machine start
115 | Starting machine "podman-machine-default"
116 | Waiting for VM ...
117 | Mounting volume... /Users/...:/Users/...
118 |
119 | This machine is currently configured in rootless mode. If your containers
120 | require root permissions (e.g. ports < 1024), or if you run into compatibility
121 | issues with non-podman clients, you can switch using the following command:
122 |
123 | podman machine set --rootful
124 |
125 | API forwarding listening on: /Users/.../.local/share/containers/podman/machine/podman-machine-default/podman.sock
126 |
127 | The system helper service is not installed; the default Docker API socket
128 | address can't be used by podman. If you would like to install it run the
129 | following commands:
130 |
131 | sudo /opt/homebrew/Cellar/podman/4.1.1/bin/podman-mac-helper install
132 | podman machine stop; podman machine start
133 |
134 | You can still connect Docker API clients by setting DOCKER_HOST using the
135 | following command in your terminal session:
136 |
137 | export DOCKER_HOST='unix:///Users/.../.local/share/containers/podman/machine/podman-machine-default/podman.sock'
138 |
139 | Machine "podman-machine-default" started successfully
140 | ```
141 |
142 | Don't use the `--rootful` option, at least for this tutorial, as it is incompatible with a flag passed to `podman run` below, `--userns=keep-id`, which is required to be able to write updates to the notebooks.
143 |
144 | If you are on a Mac, the `podman-mac-helper` may be useful:
145 |
146 | ```shell
147 | podman machine stop
148 | sudo /opt/homebrew/Cellar/podman/4.1.1/bin/podman-mac-helper install
149 | podman machine start
150 | ```
151 |
152 | Setting `DOCKER_HOST` is done for you in the `run.sh` script (discussed below) for MacOS and Linux. For Windows, you may need to set this in your environment. This is not done in `run-podman.bat`.
153 |
154 | > **Note:** I don't have access to a Windows machine so I have not tested using Podman on Windows.
155 |
156 | ## Running the Docker Image
157 |
158 | Use these steps for both `docker` and `podman`.
159 |
160 | It's important to follow the next steps carefully. We're going to mount the working directory in the running container so it's accessible inside the running container in a convenient place. We'll need it for our notebook, our data, etc.
161 |
162 | * In the same terminal window, change to the directory where you expanded the tutorial project or cloned the repo.
163 | * Run the following command to download and run the Docker image:
164 | * `run.sh` for both `docker` and `podman` on MacOS and Linux
165 | * `run-docker.bat` to use `docker` on Windows
166 | * `run-podman.bat` to use `podman` on Windows
167 |
168 | The MacOS and Linux `run.sh` script executes these commands for `podman`:
169 |
170 | ```shell
171 | export DOCKER_HOST="unix:///$HOME/.local/share/containers/podman/machine/podman-machine-default/podman.sock"
172 | podman run -it --rm \
173 | -p 8888:8888 -p 4040:4040 -p 4041:4041 -p 4042:4042 \
174 | --cpus=3.0 --memory=3500M \
175 | --userns=keep-id \
176 | -v "$PWD":/home/jovyan/work \
177 | jupyter/all-spark-notebook:spark-3.2.0 \
178 | "$@"
179 | ```
180 |
181 | The first command (note the line continuation...) checks if you are using podman and sets the `DOCKER_HOST` environment variable, which I found to be necessary. You might try just running the `docker run` command to see if you really need this.
182 |
183 | The Windows `run.bat` command is similar, but uses Windows conventions and does _not_ attempt to set `DOCKER_HOST`.
184 |
185 | The `-p 8888:8888 -p 4040:4040 -p 4041:4041 -p 4042:4042` arguments "tunnel" ports 8888 and 4040-4042 out of the container to your local environment, so you can get to the Jupyter UI at port 8888 and the Spark driver UIs at 4040-4042.
186 |
187 | > **Note:** Here we use just one notebook, so tunneling 4040 is all you will probably need. However, if you create up to two more Spark notebooks concurrently, the second will select available port 4041 and the third will use 4042. Hence, the scripts tunnel these ports for your convenience.
188 |
189 | The `--cpus=... --memory=...` arguments were added because the notebook "kernel" is prone to crashing with the default, smaller values. Edit to taste to see what works best for you. For example, previously we used `--cpus=2.0 --memory=2000M`, but machines are bigger now :) Also, it will help conserve resources to keep only one Spark notebook open at a time.
190 |
191 | The `--userns=keep-id` appears to be necessary to allow you to save updates to the notebook. Otherwise, you get permissions errors. See also the [Troubleshooting](#troubleshooting) section below and [this blog post](https://www.redhat.com/sysadmin/debug-rootless-podman-mounted-volumes) for more information on why this is necessary. This flag isn't used for `docker`, because it doesn't appear necessary, although it may be "harmless".
192 |
193 | The `-v $PWD:/home/jovyan/work` tells Docker to mount the current working directory inside the container as `/home/jovyan/work`, where `/home/jovyan` is the default user's home directory. When you open the notebook UI (discussed below), this is the top-level folder you will see.
194 |
195 | We are using the image tagged `spark-3.2.0`, which actually supports Spark 3.2.1. Unfortunately, the `jupyter/all-spark-notebook` image builds [dropped Spark support in July 2022](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/issues/11). :(
196 |
197 | Finally, you can pass other arguments to `run.sh` which are passed to `docker` or `podman`as flags or a command to run. For example, passing `ls -al work/notebooks` will show you what the file permissions look like for the notebooks from inside the container.
198 |
199 | Okay! After starting `run.sh`, you should see output similar to the following:
200 |
201 | ```shell
202 | Unable to find image 'jupyter/all-spark-notebook:spark-3.2.0' locally
203 | latest: Pulling from jupyter/all-spark-notebook
204 | ...
205 | Copy/paste this URL into your browser when you connect for the first time,
206 | to login with a token:
207 | http://localhost:8888/?token=...
208 | ```
209 |
210 | Now copy and paste the full `localhost:8888` URL shown in a browser window.
211 |
212 | > **Tip:** Your terminal might let you ⌘-click or CTRL-click the URL to open it in a browser.
213 |
214 | > **Warning:** When you quit the container at the end of the tutorial, all your changes will be lost, unless they are in or under the local directory that we mounted. To save notebooks you defined in other locations, export them using the _File > Download as > Notebook_ menu item in toolbar.
215 |
216 | ## Running the Tutorial
217 |
218 | > **Warning:** It appears that the Jupyter _magics_ in the notebook no longer work. I have added comments and workarounds.
219 |
220 | Now we can load the tutorial. Once you open the Jupyter UI, you'll see the `work` listed. Click once to open it, then open `notebooks`, then click on the tutorial notebook, `JustEnoughScalaForSpark.ipynb`. It will open in a new tab. (The PDF is a print out of the notebook, in case you have trouble running the notebook itself.)
221 |
222 | You'll notice there is a box around the first "cell". This cell has one line of source code `println("Hello World!")`. Above this cell is a toolbar with a button that has a right-pointing arrow and the word _run_. Click that button to run this code cell. Or, use the menu item _Cell > Run Cells_.
223 |
224 | After many seconds, once initialization has completed, it will print the output, `Hello World!` just below the input text field.
225 |
226 | Do the same thing for the next box. It should print `[merrywivesofwindsor, twelfthnight, midsummersnightsdream, loveslabourslost, asyoulikeit, comedyoferrors, muchadoaboutnothing, tamingoftheshrew]`, the contents of the `/home/jovyan/work/data/shakespeare` folder, the texts for several of Shakespeare's plays. We'll use these files as data.
227 |
228 | > **Warning:** If you see `[]` or `null` printed instead, the mounting of the current working directory did not work correctly when the container was started. In the terminal window, use `control-c` to exit from the Docker container, make sure you are in the root directory of the project (`data` and `notebooks` should be subdirectories), restart the docker image, and make sure you enter the command exactly as shown.
229 |
230 | If these steps worked, you're done setting up the tutorial!
231 |
232 | ## Troubleshooting
233 |
234 | ### "Error Response" on Windows
235 |
236 | When using Docker on Windows, you may get the following error: `C:\Program Files\Docker\Docker\Resources\bin\docker.exe: Error response from daemon: D: drive is not shared. Please share it in Docker for Windows Settings.` If so, do the following. On your tray, next to your clock, right-click on Docker, then click on Settings. You'll see the _Shared Drives_. Mark your drive and hit apply. See [this Docker forum thread](https://forums.docker.com/t/cannot-share-drive-in-windows-10/28798/5) for more tips.
237 |
238 | ### No Permissions to Save Notebook Updates (Podman)
239 |
240 | This is why the `--userns=keep-id` is used when running with `podman`. It should prevent the error that when you save your work, you get a permissions error. Please [open an issue](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/issues) if you encounter this problem.
241 |
242 | While investigating this issue previously, before discovering the `--userns=keep-id` flag, I found the following two (flawed) workarounds, both of which start with _File > Save As_:
243 |
244 | 1. Save the file to the same `notebooks` directory: This _appears_ to fail. You get an error dialog that the file couldn't be written, but in fact it was written. However, this only works once for a given target file. It won't be updated again and you still can't just save changes directly to it.
245 | 2. Save and write the notebook to "root" folder as shown in the Jupyter UI, which is actually the `/home/jovyan` home directory in the container. That allows you to save changes and use features like _print_. _However_ any changes to the notebook in this directory **will be lost when you quit**, so you'll have to use _File > Save Notebook As_ to download the latest version to your machine.
246 |
247 |
248 | ## Getting Help
249 |
250 | If you're having problems, use the [Gitter chat room](https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark) to ask for help. If you are reasonably certain you have found a bug, post an issue to the [GitHub repo](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/issues). Recall that the `notebooks` directory also has a PDF of the notebook that you can read when the notebook won't work for some reason.
251 |
252 | ## What's Next?
253 |
254 | You are now ready to go through the tutorial.
255 |
256 | Don't want to run Spark Notebook to learn the material? A PDF printout of the notebook can also be found in the `notebooks` directory.
257 |
258 | Feedback, bug reports, and pull requests are [welcome](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark)! Thanks.
259 |
260 | Dean Wampler
261 |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
/SpeakerNotes.md:
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1 | # Speaker Notes
2 |
3 | [](https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark?utm_source=badge&utm_medium=badge&utm_campaign=pr-badge&utm_content=badge)
4 |
5 | [Dean Wampler, Ph.D.](mailto:deanwampler@gmail.com)
6 | [Lightbend, Inc.](http://lightbend.com)
7 |
8 | If you're brave enough to try teaching this tutorial yourself, these notes are for you.
9 |
10 | Because this tutorial is Apache 2.0 licensed, it's free to use as you see fit, but I do ask that you credit the original GitHub project [github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark](https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark).
11 |
12 | The first time you teach this tutorial, you might find it useful to print these notes for each reference.
13 |
14 | ## About the Tutorial
15 |
16 | I've mostly taught this as a 1/2 day (~3 hour) tutorial. _There is way too much material for a half day, perhaps even for a full day._ Therefore, the content is designed to cover the "Scala 101" essentials, then offer "Scala 102" additions. I even organized the material into 101 and 102 major sections.
17 |
18 | You won't finish the 101 material in a 1/2 day, especially if you give the class plenty of time to play with the code. That's okay. Also, feel free to skip or expand sections, as you see fit. I welcome feedback on what works and what doesn't work. I try to get to the section _Our Final Version: Supporting SQL Queries_, although not necessarily through the part about filtering for "stop" words.
19 |
20 | The student will drink from a fire hose, but hopefully get the "gist" of the important points, then have the material to review later for better understanding.
21 |
22 | I don't read the text cells (too boring!), but just summarize what they say. I tell the students that they shouldn't read everything either, but come back to the text later. I'll even skip some cells completely that provide details that aren't that important. Use your judgment.
23 |
24 | There's a tension between a tutorial designed for live teaching and one designed for self-study. I've written the tutorial content for the latter case, which makes it accessible to more people, but the classroom experience can be a little overwhelming with all the text in front of you.
25 |
26 | ## Before Class
27 |
28 | If you're in a time-boxed setting, like a 1/2 day conference tutorial, it's **essential** that the students setup the tutorial materials ahead of time. Here's an email that I've had conferences send to perspective students:
29 |
30 | > Hello!
31 | >
32 | > Welcome to my tutorial, "Just Enough Scala for Spark." It's VERY important that you set up the tutorial material before our session. Unfortunately, with just half a day and a large crowd, I won't be able to help anyone with problems during the session.
33 | >
34 | > Please clone or download the following GitHub repo:
35 | >
36 | > https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark
37 | >
38 | > Then, follow the setup instructions in the README.md file (https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/blob/master/README.md).
39 | >
40 | > If you have problems, post an issue to the GitHub repo (https://github.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/issues) or ask for help on the project's Gitter channel (https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark). I'll try to help.
41 | >
42 | > See you soon!
43 | >
44 | > Dean Wampler
45 |
46 | Edit to taste...
47 |
48 | ## Getting Started
49 |
50 | I begin with a show of hands:
51 |
52 | * How many have some Scala experience?
53 | * How many have some Spark experience, in any language?
54 |
55 | The answer for a large group with a spectrum from beginner to expert. I teach to the least experienced student, but occasionally mention more advanced concepts to keep the more experienced person engaged. Hopefully the expert isn't too bored; at least he or she has exercises to play with.
56 |
57 | ## Getting the Tutorial to Work
58 |
59 | I added the [Gitter channel](https://gitter.im/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark?utm_source=badge&utm_medium=badge&utm_campaign=pr-badge&utm_content=badge) to encourage people to ask for help in advance of the tutorial sessions I've done. The sessions are too large and too short to offer help during them.
60 |
61 | One reason I recently switched to a Docker image is to remove almost all possible problems, assuming the user can run Docker on his or her workstation. Worst case, if someone can't get things working, encourage them to pair with a neighbor or follow along using the PDF of the tutorial notebook that's also in the `notebooks` directory.
62 |
63 | ## Loading the Tutorial Notebook
64 |
65 | Assuming a successful installation of the Jupyter image, the end of the README describes how to load the tutorial notebook into the environment. This process is not as user-friendly as it could be, so I always walk through it in class.
66 |
67 | From now on in these notes, I'll assume that we're in the tutorial notebook itself. Section titles in "quotes" refer to sections in the tutorial itself.
68 |
69 | ## "For More on Scala"
70 |
71 | Tell them to click the two Scaladocs links, especially the one for Spark. They'll find it useful.
72 |
73 | I also demonstrate the tip for searching for information using the Spark Scaladocs.
74 |
75 | ## "About Notebooks"
76 |
77 | This is a good place to demonstrate how to use the notebooks:
78 |
79 | * Navigate the cells using up and down arrow keys or clicking.
80 | * Evaluate cells using `shift+return` or menu items. Do this for the first Scala cell that prints "Hello World!" and for a Markdown cell.
81 | * Point out the toolbar menu item that shows the type of cell.
82 | * Bring up the _Help > Keyboard Shortcuts_.
83 | * Show the sidebar (_View > Toggle Sidebar_), then hide it again.
84 | * In general, point out how useful notebooks are for learning and mixing documentation, code, and graphs of data.
85 |
86 | ## "Let's Load Some Data ..."
87 |
88 | I emphasize again that we'll go through a lot of details, but the student should focus on the general concepts and refer back to the notebook cells for details later. We have to cover a lot of particulars to get to the "interesting stuff".
89 |
90 | I rely on the fact that they can intuitively figure out a lot of details as they read them. The comment convention is a good example, especially for people with Java experience.
91 |
92 | Note that the sizes of the data files are not very big, so it should work reasonable well even for a big class using a conference WiFi.
93 |
94 | ## "Setup the Files"
95 |
96 | Discuss how the `if` example demonstrates that conditionals are expressions:
97 |
98 | ```scala
99 | val success = if (shakespeare.exists == false) { // doesn't exist already?
100 | ...
101 | ```
102 |
103 | For the `for` comprehension, I describe the "gist" of what it's doing in the Scala cell, then let the subsequent Markdown cells explain how `for` comprehensions work. Again, emphasize that these are expressions.
104 |
105 | We explain the `failures.foreach(println)` in subsequent cells, so in this cell, just tell them we'll come back to it.
106 |
107 | ## "Passing Functions as Arguments"
108 |
109 | Now we explain the concept of _functions_ and return to `collection.foreach(println)` as an example (using `plays` as the collection).
110 |
111 | Explain each example, noting that passing `println` vs. `str => println(str)` are **not** the same thing! In the first case, we're using `println` as the function. In the second case, we're passing an anonymous function that _calls_ `println`.
112 |
113 |
114 | ## "Inverted Index - When You're Tired of Counting Words..."
115 |
116 | It's more interested than _Word Count_.
117 |
118 | The way this section works is we show the whole thing, then break it down piece by piece.
119 |
120 | I mention here that this is quite a lot of computation defined in few lines of code!
121 |
122 | ### Tuple Exercise
123 |
124 | Give them a minute or two to try different tuples.
125 |
126 | ### Exercise After the Code Walkthrough
127 |
128 | Give them a few minutes to try this depending on time. A subsequent refinement of the code will include the two additions they are asked to write.
129 |
130 | Remind them that exercise solutions are at the end of the notebook.
131 |
132 | ## "Pattern Matching"
133 |
134 | Make sure you have enough time to get to this section. It will be near the end of the 1/2 day session. Pattern matching is one of Scala's most powerful features, especially for Spark, so you should be sure to cover this section, even if you need to hurry through earlier sections and skip the two small exercises.
135 |
136 | In particular, talk about the cell which begins "My favorite improvement..." The clarity of the pattern matching code, where it's immediately obvious what's happening, vs. the previous more obscure code is a strong argument for the value of pattern matching to both ease understanding and accelerate productivity. When I wrote this code the first time, I thought about the transformation I needed to make _and just wrote it down exactly as I pictured it!_
137 |
138 | ## "Final Implementation and Using DataFrames"
139 |
140 | Skim through this quickly if you're running out of time, to get to the final version's output.
141 |
142 | We could use a `Dataset`, but `DataFrames` are good enough for our purposes, especially for those students still using 1.6 "at home".
143 |
144 | ### "Our Final Version: Supporting SQL Queries"
145 |
146 | This section reformats the output into a form more useful for SQL queries. Briefly describe what `zip` does and why we are using it, to create two columns with counts and locations separated, but in the same order, so they can be selected in a SQL statement.
147 |
148 | ## "More on Pattern Matching Syntax"
149 |
150 | You may not make it this far in a 1/2 day course, but if you do, discuss how the examples demonstrate that pattern matching is quite flexible and powerful, including the ability to exploit it with case classes.
151 |
152 | ## "Scala for Spark 102"
153 |
154 | You'll get to this material if you do a full-day tutorial. Even in a 1/2 day session, I encourage the students to work through this material on their own, because there is a lot they should know here.
155 |
156 | ## "Conclusions"
157 |
158 | I thank them again for attending and encourage them to provide feedback directly to me or through the the project's Gitter channel or GitHub Issues.
159 |
160 | I also remind them that most of the exercises have solutions at the end of the notebook.
161 |
162 |
163 |
164 |
165 |
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/data/shakespeare/comedyoferrors:
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1 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
2 |
3 |
4 | DRAMATIS PERSONAE
5 |
6 |
7 | SOLINUS Duke of Ephesus. (DUKE SOLINUS:)
8 |
9 | AEGEON a merchant of Syracuse.
10 |
11 |
12 | ANTIPHOLUS |
13 | OF EPHESUS |
14 | | twin brothers, and sons to AEgeon and AEmilia.
15 | ANTIPHOLUS |
16 | OF SYRACUSE |
17 |
18 |
19 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS |
20 | | twin brothers, and attendants on the two Antipholuses.
21 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE |
22 |
23 |
24 | BALTHAZAR a merchant
25 |
26 | ANGELO a goldsmith.
27 |
28 | First Merchant friend to Antipholus of Syracuse.
29 |
30 | Second Merchant to whom Angelo is a debtor.
31 |
32 | PINCH a schoolmaster.
33 |
34 | AEMILIA wife to AEgeon, an abbess at Ephesus.
35 |
36 | ADRIANA wife to Antipholus of Ephesus.
37 |
38 | LUCIANA her sister.
39 |
40 | LUCE servant to Adriana.
41 |
42 | A Courtezan.
43 |
44 | Gaoler, Officers, and other Attendants
45 | (Gaoler:)
46 | (Officer:)
47 | (Servant:)
48 |
49 | SCENE Ephesus.
50 |
51 |
52 |
53 |
54 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
55 |
56 |
57 | ACT I
58 |
59 |
60 |
61 | SCENE I A hall in DUKE SOLINUS'S palace.
62 |
63 |
64 | [Enter DUKE SOLINUS, AEGEON, Gaoler, Officers, and other
65 | Attendants]
66 |
67 | AEGEON Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall
68 | And by the doom of death end woes and all.
69 |
70 | DUKE SOLINUS Merchant of Syracuse, plead no more;
71 | I am not partial to infringe our laws:
72 | The enmity and discord which of late
73 | Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your duke
74 | To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen,
75 | Who wanting guilders to redeem their lives
76 | Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with their bloods,
77 | Excludes all pity from our threatening looks.
78 | For, since the mortal and intestine jars
79 | 'Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us,
80 | It hath in solemn synods been decreed
81 | Both by the Syracusians and ourselves,
82 | To admit no traffic to our adverse towns Nay, more,
83 | If any born at Ephesus be seen
84 | At any Syracusian marts and fairs;
85 | Again: if any Syracusian born
86 | Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,
87 | His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose,
88 | Unless a thousand marks be levied,
89 | To quit the penalty and to ransom him.
90 | Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
91 | Cannot amount unto a hundred marks;
92 | Therefore by law thou art condemned to die.
93 |
94 | AEGEON Yet this my comfort: when your words are done,
95 | My woes end likewise with the evening sun.
96 |
97 | DUKE SOLINUS Well, Syracusian, say in brief the cause
98 | Why thou departed'st from thy native home
99 | And for what cause thou camest to Ephesus.
100 |
101 | AEGEON A heavier task could not have been imposed
102 | Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable:
103 | Yet, that the world may witness that my end
104 | Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence,
105 | I'll utter what my sorrows give me leave.
106 | In Syracusa was I born, and wed
107 | Unto a woman, happy but for me,
108 | And by me, had not our hap been bad.
109 | With her I lived in joy; our wealth increased
110 | By prosperous voyages I often made
111 | To Epidamnum; till my factor's death
112 | And the great care of goods at random left
113 | Drew me from kind embracements of my spouse:
114 | From whom my absence was not six months old
115 | Before herself, almost at fainting under
116 | The pleasing punishment that women bear,
117 | Had made provision for her following me
118 | And soon and safe arrived where I was.
119 | There had she not been long, but she became
120 | A joyful mother of two goodly sons;
121 | And, which was strange, the one so like the other,
122 | As could not be distinguish'd but by names.
123 | That very hour, and in the self-same inn,
124 | A meaner woman was delivered
125 | Of such a burden, male twins, both alike:
126 | Those,--for their parents were exceeding poor,--
127 | I bought and brought up to attend my sons.
128 | My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys,
129 | Made daily motions for our home return:
130 | Unwilling I agreed. Alas! too soon,
131 | We came aboard.
132 | A league from Epidamnum had we sail'd,
133 | Before the always wind-obeying deep
134 | Gave any tragic instance of our harm:
135 | But longer did we not retain much hope;
136 | For what obscured light the heavens did grant
137 | Did but convey unto our fearful minds
138 | A doubtful warrant of immediate death;
139 | Which though myself would gladly have embraced,
140 | Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,
141 | Weeping before for what she saw must come,
142 | And piteous plainings of the pretty babes,
143 | That mourn'd for fashion, ignorant what to fear,
144 | Forced me to seek delays for them and me.
145 | And this it was, for other means was none:
146 | The sailors sought for safety by our boat,
147 | And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us:
148 | My wife, more careful for the latter-born,
149 | Had fasten'd him unto a small spare mast,
150 | Such as seafaring men provide for storms;
151 | To him one of the other twins was bound,
152 | Whilst I had been like heedful of the other:
153 | The children thus disposed, my wife and I,
154 | Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd,
155 | Fasten'd ourselves at either end the mast;
156 | And floating straight, obedient to the stream,
157 | Was carried towards Corinth, as we thought.
158 | At length the sun, gazing upon the earth,
159 | Dispersed those vapours that offended us;
160 | And by the benefit of his wished light,
161 | The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered
162 | Two ships from far making amain to us,
163 | Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this:
164 | But ere they came,--O, let me say no more!
165 | Gather the sequel by that went before.
166 |
167 | DUKE SOLINUS Nay, forward, old man; do not break off so;
168 | For we may pity, though not pardon thee.
169 |
170 | AEGEON O, had the gods done so, I had not now
171 | Worthily term'd them merciless to us!
172 | For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues,
173 | We were encounterd by a mighty rock;
174 | Which being violently borne upon,
175 | Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst;
176 | So that, in this unjust divorce of us,
177 | Fortune had left to both of us alike
178 | What to delight in, what to sorrow for.
179 | Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened
180 | With lesser weight but not with lesser woe,
181 | Was carried with more speed before the wind;
182 | And in our sight they three were taken up
183 | By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.
184 | At length, another ship had seized on us;
185 | And, knowing whom it was their hap to save,
186 | Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd guests;
187 | And would have reft the fishers of their prey,
188 | Had not their bark been very slow of sail;
189 | And therefore homeward did they bend their course.
190 | Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss;
191 | That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd,
192 | To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
193 |
194 | DUKE SOLINUS And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for,
195 | Do me the favour to dilate at full
196 | What hath befall'n of them and thee till now.
197 |
198 | AEGEON My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care,
199 | At eighteen years became inquisitive
200 | After his brother: and importuned me
201 | That his attendant--so his case was like,
202 | Reft of his brother, but retain'd his name--
203 | Might bear him company in the quest of him:
204 | Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see,
205 | I hazarded the loss of whom I loved.
206 | Five summers have I spent in furthest Greece,
207 | Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia,
208 | And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus;
209 | Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought
210 | Or that or any place that harbours men.
211 | But here must end the story of my life;
212 | And happy were I in my timely death,
213 | Could all my travels warrant me they live.
214 |
215 | DUKE SOLINUS Hapless AEgeon, whom the fates have mark'd
216 | To bear the extremity of dire mishap!
217 | Now, trust me, were it not against our laws,
218 | Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,
219 | Which princes, would they, may not disannul,
220 | My soul would sue as advocate for thee.
221 | But, though thou art adjudged to the death
222 | And passed sentence may not be recall'd
223 | But to our honour's great disparagement,
224 | Yet I will favour thee in what I can.
225 | Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day
226 | To seek thy life by beneficial help:
227 | Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus;
228 | Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,
229 | And live; if no, then thou art doom'd to die.
230 | Gaoler, take him to thy custody.
231 |
232 | Gaoler I will, my lord.
233 |
234 | AEGEON Hopeless and helpless doth AEgeon wend,
235 | But to procrastinate his lifeless end.
236 |
237 | [Exeunt]
238 |
239 |
240 |
241 |
242 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
243 |
244 |
245 | ACT I
246 |
247 |
248 |
249 | SCENE II The Mart.
250 |
251 |
252 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Syracuse,
253 | and First Merchant]
254 |
255 | First Merchant Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,
256 | Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
257 | This very day a Syracusian merchant
258 | Is apprehended for arrival here;
259 | And not being able to buy out his life
260 | According to the statute of the town,
261 | Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
262 | There is your money that I had to keep.
263 |
264 | ANTIPHOLUS
265 | OF SYRACUSE Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
266 | And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
267 | Within this hour it will be dinner-time:
268 | Till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
269 | Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
270 | And then return and sleep within mine inn,
271 | For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
272 | Get thee away.
273 |
274 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Many a man would take you at your word,
275 | And go indeed, having so good a mean.
276 |
277 | [Exit]
278 |
279 | ANTIPHOLUS
280 | OF SYRACUSE A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
281 | When I am dull with care and melancholy,
282 | Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
283 | What, will you walk with me about the town,
284 | And then go to my inn and dine with me?
285 |
286 | First Merchant I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
287 | Of whom I hope to make much benefit;
288 | I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock,
289 | Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart
290 | And afterward consort you till bed-time:
291 | My present business calls me from you now.
292 |
293 | ANTIPHOLUS
294 | OF SYRACUSE Farewell till then: I will go lose myself
295 | And wander up and down to view the city.
296 |
297 | First Merchant Sir, I commend you to your own content.
298 |
299 | [Exit]
300 |
301 | ANTIPHOLUS
302 | OF SYRACUSE He that commends me to mine own content
303 | Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
304 | I to the world am like a drop of water
305 | That in the ocean seeks another drop,
306 | Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
307 | Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
308 | So I, to find a mother and a brother,
309 | In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
310 |
311 | [Enter DROMIO of Ephesus]
312 |
313 | Here comes the almanac of my true date.
314 | What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon?
315 |
316 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late:
317 | The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
318 | The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;
319 | My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
320 | She is so hot because the meat is cold;
321 | The meat is cold because you come not home;
322 | You come not home because you have no stomach;
323 | You have no stomach having broke your fast;
324 | But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray
325 | Are penitent for your default to-day.
326 |
327 | ANTIPHOLUS
328 | OF SYRACUSE Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray:
329 | Where have you left the money that I gave you?
330 |
331 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
332 | To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper?
333 | The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
334 |
335 | ANTIPHOLUS
336 | OF SYRACUSE I am not in a sportive humour now:
337 | Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
338 | We being strangers here, how darest thou trust
339 | So great a charge from thine own custody?
340 |
341 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:
342 | I from my mistress come to you in post;
343 | If I return, I shall be post indeed,
344 | For she will score your fault upon my pate.
345 | Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
346 | And strike you home without a messenger.
347 |
348 | ANTIPHOLUS
349 | OF SYRACUSE Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season;
350 | Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
351 | Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
352 |
353 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me.
354 |
355 | ANTIPHOLUS
356 | OF SYRACUSE Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
357 | And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.
358 |
359 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
360 | Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner:
361 | My mistress and her sister stays for you.
362 |
363 | ANTIPHOLUS
364 | OF SYRACUSE In what safe place you have bestow'd my money,
365 | Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
366 | That stands on tricks when I am undisposed:
367 | Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
368 |
369 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
370 | Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
371 | But not a thousand marks between you both.
372 | If I should pay your worship those again,
373 | Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
374 |
375 | ANTIPHOLUS
376 | OF SYRACUSE Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou?
377 |
378 |
379 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
380 | She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
381 | And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
382 |
383 | ANTIPHOLUS
384 | OF SYRACUSE What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
385 | Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
386 |
387 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands!
388 | Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
389 |
390 | [Exit]
391 |
392 | ANTIPHOLUS
393 | OF SYRACUSE Upon my life, by some device or other
394 | The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
395 | They say this town is full of cozenage,
396 | As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
397 | Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
398 | Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
399 | Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
400 | And many such-like liberties of sin:
401 | If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
402 | I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave:
403 | I greatly fear my money is not safe.
404 |
405 | [Exit]
406 |
407 |
408 |
409 |
410 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
411 |
412 |
413 | ACT II
414 |
415 |
416 |
417 | SCENE I The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
418 |
419 |
420 | [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA]
421 |
422 | ADRIANA Neither my husband nor the slave return'd,
423 | That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
424 | Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
425 |
426 | LUCIANA Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
427 | And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.
428 | Good sister, let us dine and never fret:
429 | A man is master of his liberty:
430 | Time is their master, and, when they see time,
431 | They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister.
432 |
433 | ADRIANA Why should their liberty than ours be more?
434 |
435 | LUCIANA Because their business still lies out o' door.
436 |
437 | ADRIANA Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
438 |
439 | LUCIANA O, know he is the bridle of your will.
440 |
441 | ADRIANA There's none but asses will be bridled so.
442 |
443 | LUCIANA Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
444 | There's nothing situate under heaven's eye
445 | But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
446 | The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
447 | Are their males' subjects and at their controls:
448 | Men, more divine, the masters of all these,
449 | Lords of the wide world and wild watery seas,
450 | Indued with intellectual sense and souls,
451 | Of more preeminence than fish and fowls,
452 | Are masters to their females, and their lords:
453 | Then let your will attend on their accords.
454 |
455 | ADRIANA This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
456 |
457 | LUCIANA Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
458 |
459 | ADRIANA But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
460 |
461 | LUCIANA Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.
462 |
463 | ADRIANA How if your husband start some other where?
464 |
465 | LUCIANA Till he come home again, I would forbear.
466 |
467 | ADRIANA Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause;
468 | They can be meek that have no other cause.
469 | A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
470 | We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
471 | But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
472 | As much or more would we ourselves complain:
473 | So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
474 | With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve me,
475 | But, if thou live to see like right bereft,
476 | This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.
477 |
478 | LUCIANA Well, I will marry one day, but to try.
479 | Here comes your man; now is your husband nigh.
480 |
481 | [Enter DROMIO of Ephesus]
482 |
483 | ADRIANA Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
484 |
485 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears
486 | can witness.
487 |
488 | ADRIANA Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?
489 |
490 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear:
491 | Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
492 |
493 | LUCIANA Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning?
494 |
495 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his
496 | blows; and withal so doubtfully that I could scarce
497 | understand them.
498 |
499 | ADRIANA But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he
500 | hath great care to please his wife.
501 |
502 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
503 |
504 | ADRIANA Horn-mad, thou villain!
505 |
506 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I mean not cuckold-mad;
507 | But, sure, he is stark mad.
508 | When I desired him to come home to dinner,
509 | He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
510 | ''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he;
511 | 'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he:
512 | 'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he.
513 | 'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
514 | 'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'My gold!' quoth he:
515 | 'My mistress, sir' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress!
516 | I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'
517 |
518 | LUCIANA Quoth who?
519 |
520 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Quoth my master:
521 | 'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mistress.'
522 | So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
523 | I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;
524 | For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
525 |
526 | ADRIANA Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
527 |
528 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Go back again, and be new beaten home?
529 | For God's sake, send some other messenger.
530 |
531 | ADRIANA Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
532 |
533 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS And he will bless that cross with other beating:
534 | Between you I shall have a holy head.
535 |
536 | ADRIANA Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home.
537 |
538 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Am I so round with you as you with me,
539 | That like a football you do spurn me thus?
540 | You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
541 | If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
542 |
543 | [Exit]
544 |
545 | LUCIANA Fie, how impatience loureth in your face!
546 |
547 | ADRIANA His company must do his minions grace,
548 | Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
549 | Hath homely age the alluring beauty took
550 | From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:
551 | Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?
552 | If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,
553 | Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard:
554 | Do their gay vestments his affections bait?
555 | That's not my fault: he's master of my state:
556 | What ruins are in me that can be found,
557 | By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground
558 | Of my defeatures. My decayed fair
559 | A sunny look of his would soon repair
560 | But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale
561 | And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.
562 |
563 | LUCIANA Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence!
564 |
565 | ADRIANA Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
566 | I know his eye doth homage otherwhere,
567 | Or else what lets it but he would be here?
568 | Sister, you know he promised me a chain;
569 | Would that alone, alone he would detain,
570 | So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
571 | I see the jewel best enamelled
572 | Will lose his beauty; yet the gold bides still,
573 | That others touch, and often touching will
574 | Wear gold: and no man that hath a name,
575 | By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
576 | Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
577 | I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
578 |
579 | LUCIANA How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!
580 |
581 | [Exeunt]
582 |
583 |
584 |
585 |
586 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
587 |
588 |
589 | ACT II
590 |
591 |
592 |
593 | SCENE II A public place.
594 |
595 |
596 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse]
597 |
598 | ANTIPHOLUS
599 | OF SYRACUSE The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
600 | Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave
601 | Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out
602 | By computation and mine host's report.
603 | I could not speak with Dromio since at first
604 | I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
605 |
606 | [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse]
607 |
608 | How now sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
609 | As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
610 | You know no Centaur? you received no gold?
611 | Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
612 | My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
613 | That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
614 |
615 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?
616 |
617 | ANTIPHOLUS
618 | OF SYRACUSE Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
619 |
620 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I did not see you since you sent me hence,
621 | Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.
622 |
623 | ANTIPHOLUS
624 | OF SYRACUSE Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
625 | And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
626 | For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.
627 |
628 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am glad to see you in this merry vein:
629 | What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.
630 |
631 | ANTIPHOLUS
632 | OF SYRACUSE Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
633 | Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.
634 |
635 | [Beating him]
636 |
637 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
638 | Upon what bargain do you give it me?
639 |
640 | ANTIPHOLUS
641 | OF SYRACUSE Because that I familiarly sometimes
642 | Do use you for my fool and chat with you,
643 | Your sauciness will jest upon my love
644 | And make a common of my serious hours.
645 | When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,
646 | But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
647 | If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
648 | And fashion your demeanor to my looks,
649 | Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
650 |
651 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering, I
652 | had rather have it a head: an you use these blows
653 | long, I must get a sconce for my head and ensconce
654 | it too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders.
655 | But, I pray, sir why am I beaten?
656 |
657 | ANTIPHOLUS
658 | OF SYRACUSE Dost thou not know?
659 |
660 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.
661 |
662 | ANTIPHOLUS
663 | OF SYRACUSE Shall I tell you why?
664 |
665 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every why hath
666 | a wherefore.
667 |
668 | ANTIPHOLUS
669 | OF SYRACUSE Why, first,--for flouting me; and then, wherefore--
670 | For urging it the second time to me.
671 |
672 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
673 | When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme
674 | nor reason?
675 | Well, sir, I thank you.
676 |
677 | ANTIPHOLUS
678 | OF SYRACUSE Thank me, sir, for what?
679 |
680 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
681 |
682 | ANTIPHOLUS
683 | OF SYRACUSE I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for
684 | something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?
685 |
686 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.
687 |
688 | ANTIPHOLUS
689 | OF SYRACUSE In good time, sir; what's that?
690 |
691 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Basting.
692 |
693 | ANTIPHOLUS
694 | OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.
695 |
696 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it.
697 |
698 | ANTIPHOLUS
699 | OF SYRACUSE Your reason?
700 |
701 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Lest it make you choleric and purchase me another
702 | dry basting.
703 |
704 | ANTIPHOLUS
705 | OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a
706 | time for all things.
707 |
708 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
709 |
710 | ANTIPHOLUS
711 | OF SYRACUSE By what rule, sir?
712 |
713 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald
714 | pate of father Time himself.
715 |
716 | ANTIPHOLUS
717 | OF SYRACUSE Let's hear it.
718 |
719 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE There's no time for a man to recover his hair that
720 | grows bald by nature.
721 |
722 | ANTIPHOLUS
723 | OF SYRACUSE May he not do it by fine and recovery?
724 |
725 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover the
726 | lost hair of another man.
727 |
728 | ANTIPHOLUS
729 | OF SYRACUSE Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is,
730 | so plentiful an excrement?
731 |
732 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts;
733 | and what he hath scanted men in hair he hath given them in wit.
734 |
735 | ANTIPHOLUS
736 | OF SYRACUSE Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.
737 |
738 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
739 |
740 | ANTIPHOLUS
741 | OF SYRACUSE Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
742 |
743 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he loseth
744 | it in a kind of jollity.
745 |
746 | ANTIPHOLUS
747 | OF SYRACUSE For what reason?
748 |
749 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE For two; and sound ones too.
750 |
751 | ANTIPHOLUS
752 | OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sound, I pray you.
753 |
754 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Sure ones, then.
755 |
756 | ANTIPHOLUS
757 | OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
758 |
759 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Certain ones then.
760 |
761 | ANTIPHOLUS
762 | OF SYRACUSE Name them.
763 |
764 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The one, to save the money that he spends in
765 | trimming; the other, that at dinner they should not
766 | drop in his porridge.
767 |
768 | ANTIPHOLUS
769 | OF SYRACUSE You would all this time have proved there is no
770 | time for all things.
771 |
772 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover hair
773 | lost by nature.
774 |
775 | ANTIPHOLUS
776 | OF SYRACUSE But your reason was not substantial, why there is no
777 | time to recover.
778 |
779 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald and therefore
780 | to the world's end will have bald followers.
781 |
782 | ANTIPHOLUS
783 | OF SYRACUSE I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion:
784 | But, soft! who wafts us yonder?
785 |
786 | [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA]
787 |
788 | ADRIANA Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown:
789 | Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects;
790 | I am not Adriana nor thy wife.
791 | The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow
792 | That never words were music to thine ear,
793 | That never object pleasing in thine eye,
794 | That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
795 | That never meat sweet-savor'd in thy taste,
796 | Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carved to thee.
797 | How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it,
798 | That thou art thus estranged from thyself?
799 | Thyself I call it, being strange to me,
800 | That, undividable, incorporate,
801 | Am better than thy dear self's better part.
802 | Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!
803 | For know, my love, as easy mayest thou fall
804 | A drop of water in the breaking gulf,
805 | And take unmingled that same drop again,
806 | Without addition or diminishing,
807 | As take from me thyself and not me too.
808 | How dearly would it touch me to the quick,
809 | Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious
810 | And that this body, consecrate to thee,
811 | By ruffian lust should be contaminate!
812 | Wouldst thou not spit at me and spurn at me
813 | And hurl the name of husband in my face
814 | And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow
815 | And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring
816 | And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
817 | I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it.
818 | I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;
819 | My blood is mingled with the crime of lust:
820 | For if we too be one and thou play false,
821 | I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
822 | Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
823 | Keep then far league and truce with thy true bed;
824 | I live unstain'd, thou undishonoured.
825 |
826 | ANTIPHOLUS
827 | OF SYRACUSE Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not:
828 | In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
829 | As strange unto your town as to your talk;
830 | Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
831 | Want wit in all one word to understand.
832 |
833 | LUCIANA Fie, brother! how the world is changed with you!
834 | When were you wont to use my sister thus?
835 | She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.
836 |
837 | ANTIPHOLUS
838 | OF SYRACUSE By Dromio?
839 |
840 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE By me?
841 |
842 | ADRIANA By thee; and this thou didst return from him,
843 | That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows,
844 | Denied my house for his, me for his wife.
845 |
846 | ANTIPHOLUS
847 | OF SYRACUSE Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
848 | What is the course and drift of your compact?
849 |
850 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I, sir? I never saw her till this time.
851 |
852 | ANTIPHOLUS
853 | OF SYRACUSE Villain, thou liest; for even her very words
854 | Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
855 |
856 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I never spake with her in all my life.
857 |
858 | ANTIPHOLUS
859 | OF SYRACUSE How can she thus then call us by our names,
860 | Unless it be by inspiration.
861 |
862 | ADRIANA How ill agrees it with your gravity
863 | To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
864 | Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!
865 | Be it my wrong you are from me exempt,
866 | But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
867 | Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine:
868 | Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
869 | Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
870 | Makes me with thy strength to communicate:
871 | If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
872 | Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss;
873 | Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
874 | Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.
875 |
876 | ANTIPHOLUS
877 | OF SYRACUSE To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme:
878 | What, was I married to her in my dream?
879 | Or sleep I now and think I hear all this?
880 | What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
881 | Until I know this sure uncertainty,
882 | I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.
883 |
884 | LUCIANA Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
885 |
886 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.
887 | This is the fairy land: O spite of spites!
888 | We talk with goblins, owls and sprites:
889 | If we obey them not, this will ensue,
890 | They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
891 |
892 | LUCIANA Why pratest thou to thyself and answer'st not?
893 | Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
894 |
895 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am transformed, master, am I not?
896 |
897 | ANTIPHOLUS
898 | OF SYRACUSE I think thou art in mind, and so am I.
899 |
900 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
901 |
902 | ANTIPHOLUS
903 | OF SYRACUSE Thou hast thine own form.
904 |
905 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, I am an ape.
906 |
907 | LUCIANA If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass.
908 |
909 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 'Tis true; she rides me and I long for grass.
910 | 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be
911 | But I should know her as well as she knows me.
912 |
913 | ADRIANA Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
914 | To put the finger in the eye and weep,
915 | Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn.
916 | Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate.
917 | Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day
918 | And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
919 | Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
920 | Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.
921 | Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well.
922 |
923 | ANTIPHOLUS
924 | OF SYRACUSE Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
925 | Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advised?
926 | Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
927 | I'll say as they say and persever so,
928 | And in this mist at all adventures go.
929 |
930 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
931 |
932 | ADRIANA Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
933 |
934 | LUCIANA Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.
935 |
936 | [Exeunt]
937 |
938 |
939 |
940 |
941 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
942 |
943 |
944 | ACT III
945 |
946 |
947 |
948 | SCENE I Before the house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
949 |
950 |
951 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus,
952 | ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR]
953 |
954 | ANTIPHOLUS
955 | OF EPHESUS Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
956 | My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours:
957 | Say that I linger'd with you at your shop
958 | To see the making of her carcanet,
959 | And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
960 | But here's a villain that would face me down
961 | He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
962 | And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
963 | And that I did deny my wife and house.
964 | Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
965 |
966 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know;
967 | That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show:
968 | If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
969 | Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
970 |
971 | ANTIPHOLUS
972 | OF EPHESUS I think thou art an ass.
973 |
974 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Marry, so it doth appear
975 | By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
976 | I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass,
977 | You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
978 |
979 | ANTIPHOLUS
980 | OF EPHESUS You're sad, Signior Balthazar: pray God our cheer
981 | May answer my good will and your good welcome here.
982 |
983 | BALTHAZAR I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your
984 | welcome dear.
985 |
986 | ANTIPHOLUS
987 | OF EPHESUS O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
988 | A table full of welcome make scarce one dainty dish.
989 |
990 | BALTHAZAR Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
991 |
992 | ANTIPHOLUS
993 | OF EPHESUS And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.
994 |
995 | BALTHAZAR Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
996 |
997 | ANTIPHOLUS
998 | OF EPHESUS Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:
999 | But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
1000 | Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
1001 | But, soft! my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in.
1002 |
1003 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicel, Gillian, Ginn!
1004 |
1005 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb,
1006 | idiot, patch!
1007 | Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch.
1008 | Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st
1009 | for such store,
1010 | When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.
1011 |
1012 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS What patch is made our porter? My master stays in
1013 | the street.
1014 |
1015 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he
1016 | catch cold on's feet.
1017 |
1018 | ANTIPHOLUS
1019 | OF EPHESUS Who talks within there? ho, open the door!
1020 |
1021 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Right, sir; I'll tell you when, an you tell
1022 | me wherefore.
1023 |
1024 | ANTIPHOLUS
1025 | OF EPHESUS Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not dined to-day.
1026 |
1027 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Nor to-day here you must not; come again
1028 | when you may.
1029 |
1030 | ANTIPHOLUS
1031 | OF EPHESUS What art thou that keepest me out from the house I owe?
1032 |
1033 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] The porter for this time, sir, and my name
1034 | is Dromio.
1035 |
1036 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS O villain! thou hast stolen both mine office and my name.
1037 | The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
1038 | If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,
1039 | Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name or thy
1040 | name for an ass.
1041 |
1042 | LUCE [Within] What a coil is there, Dromio? who are those
1043 | at the gate?
1044 |
1045 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Let my master in, Luce.
1046 |
1047 | LUCE [Within] Faith, no; he comes too late;
1048 | And so tell your master.
1049 |
1050 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS O Lord, I must laugh!
1051 | Have at you with a proverb--Shall I set in my staff?
1052 |
1053 | LUCE [Within] Have at you with another; that's--When?
1054 | can you tell?
1055 |
1056 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] If thy name be call'd Luce--Luce, thou hast
1057 | answered him well.
1058 |
1059 | ANTIPHOLUS Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope?
1060 | OF EPHESUS
1061 |
1062 | LUCE [Within] I thought to have asked you.
1063 |
1064 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] And you said no.
1065 |
1066 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS So, come, help: well struck! there was blow for blow.
1067 |
1068 | ANTIPHOLUS
1069 | OF EPHESUS Thou baggage, let me in.
1070 |
1071 | LUCE [Within] Can you tell for whose sake?
1072 |
1073 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Master, knock the door hard.
1074 |
1075 | LUCE [Within] Let him knock till it ache.
1076 |
1077 | ANTIPHOLUS
1078 | OF EPHESUS You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.
1079 |
1080 | LUCE [Within] What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?
1081 |
1082 | ADRIANA [Within] Who is that at the door that keeps all
1083 | this noise?
1084 |
1085 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] By my troth, your town is troubled with
1086 | unruly boys.
1087 |
1088 | ANTIPHOLUS
1089 | OF EPHESUS Are you there, wife? you might have come before.
1090 |
1091 | ADRIANA [Within] Your wife, sir knave! go get you from the door.
1092 |
1093 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS If you went in pain, master, this 'knave' would go sore.
1094 |
1095 | ANGELO Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: we would
1096 | fain have either.
1097 |
1098 | BALTHAZAR In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.
1099 |
1100 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.
1101 |
1102 | ANTIPHOLUS
1103 | OF EPHESUS There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.
1104 |
1105 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.
1106 | Your cake there is warm within; you stand here in the cold:
1107 | It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold.
1108 |
1109 | ANTIPHOLUS
1110 | OF EPHESUS Go fetch me something: I'll break ope the gate.
1111 |
1112 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Break any breaking here, and I'll break your
1113 | knave's pate.
1114 |
1115 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind,
1116 | Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.
1117 |
1118 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] It seems thou want'st breaking: out upon
1119 | thee, hind!
1120 |
1121 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Here's too much 'out upon thee!' I pray thee,
1122 | let me in.
1123 |
1124 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE [Within] Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin.
1125 |
1126 | ANTIPHOLUS
1127 | OF EPHESUS Well, I'll break in: go borrow me a crow.
1128 |
1129 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
1130 | For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather;
1131 | If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.
1132 |
1133 | ANTIPHOLUS
1134 | OF EPHESUS Go get thee gone; fetch me an iron crow.
1135 |
1136 | BALTHAZAR Have patience, sir; O, let it not be so!
1137 | Herein you war against your reputation
1138 | And draw within the compass of suspect
1139 | The unviolated honour of your wife.
1140 | Once this,--your long experience of her wisdom,
1141 | Her sober virtue, years and modesty,
1142 | Plead on her part some cause to you unknown:
1143 | And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse
1144 | Why at this time the doors are made against you.
1145 | Be ruled by me: depart in patience,
1146 | And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,
1147 | And about evening come yourself alone
1148 | To know the reason of this strange restraint.
1149 | If by strong hand you offer to break in
1150 | Now in the stirring passage of the day,
1151 | A vulgar comment will be made of it,
1152 | And that supposed by the common rout
1153 | Against your yet ungalled estimation
1154 | That may with foul intrusion enter in
1155 | And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
1156 | For slander lives upon succession,
1157 | For ever housed where it gets possession.
1158 |
1159 | ANTIPHOLUS
1160 | OF EPHESUS You have prevailed: I will depart in quiet,
1161 | And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry.
1162 | I know a wench of excellent discourse,
1163 | Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle:
1164 | There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
1165 | My wife--but, I protest, without desert--
1166 | Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal:
1167 | To her will we to dinner.
1168 |
1169 | [To Angelo]
1170 |
1171 | Get you home
1172 | And fetch the chain; by this I know 'tis made:
1173 | Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine;
1174 | For there's the house: that chain will I bestow--
1175 | Be it for nothing but to spite my wife--
1176 | Upon mine hostess there: good sir, make haste.
1177 | Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
1178 | I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me.
1179 |
1180 | ANGELO I'll meet you at that place some hour hence.
1181 |
1182 | ANTIPHOLUS
1183 | OF EPHESUS Do so. This jest shall cost me some expense.
1184 |
1185 | [Exeunt]
1186 |
1187 |
1188 |
1189 |
1190 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
1191 |
1192 |
1193 | ACT III
1194 |
1195 |
1196 |
1197 | SCENE II The same.
1198 |
1199 |
1200 | [Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse]
1201 |
1202 | LUCIANA And may it be that you have quite forgot
1203 | A husband's office? shall, Antipholus.
1204 | Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot?
1205 | Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?
1206 | If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
1207 | Then for her wealth's sake use her with more kindness:
1208 | Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth;
1209 | Muffle your false love with some show of blindness:
1210 | Let not my sister read it in your eye;
1211 | Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator;
1212 | Look sweet, be fair, become disloyalty;
1213 | Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger;
1214 | Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted;
1215 | Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint;
1216 | Be secret-false: what need she be acquainted?
1217 | What simple thief brags of his own attaint?
1218 | 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed
1219 | And let her read it in thy looks at board:
1220 | Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed;
1221 | Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word.
1222 | Alas, poor women! make us but believe,
1223 | Being compact of credit, that you love us;
1224 | Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve;
1225 | We in your motion turn and you may move us.
1226 | Then, gentle brother, get you in again;
1227 | Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife:
1228 | 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain,
1229 | When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
1230 |
1231 | ANTIPHOLUS
1232 | OF SYRACUSE Sweet mistress--what your name is else, I know not,
1233 | Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine,--
1234 | Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not
1235 | Than our earth's wonder, more than earth divine.
1236 | Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak;
1237 | Lay open to my earthy-gross conceit,
1238 | Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
1239 | The folded meaning of your words' deceit.
1240 | Against my soul's pure truth why labour you
1241 | To make it wander in an unknown field?
1242 | Are you a god? would you create me new?
1243 | Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield.
1244 | But if that I am I, then well I know
1245 | Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
1246 | Nor to her bed no homage do I owe
1247 | Far more, far more to you do I decline.
1248 | O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note,
1249 | To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears:
1250 | Sing, siren, for thyself and I will dote:
1251 | Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
1252 | And as a bed I'll take them and there lie,
1253 | And in that glorious supposition think
1254 | He gains by death that hath such means to die:
1255 | Let Love, being light, be drowned if she sink!
1256 |
1257 | LUCIANA What, are you mad, that you do reason so?
1258 |
1259 | ANTIPHOLUS
1260 | OF SYRACUSE Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know.
1261 |
1262 | LUCIANA It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
1263 |
1264 | ANTIPHOLUS
1265 | OF SYRACUSE For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
1266 |
1267 | LUCIANA Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.
1268 |
1269 | ANTIPHOLUS
1270 | OF SYRACUSE As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
1271 |
1272 |
1273 | LUCIANA Why call you me love? call my sister so.
1274 |
1275 | ANTIPHOLUS
1276 | OF SYRACUSE Thy sister's sister.
1277 |
1278 |
1279 | LUCIANA That's my sister.
1280 |
1281 | ANTIPHOLUS
1282 | OF SYRACUSE No;
1283 | It is thyself, mine own self's better part,
1284 | Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart,
1285 | My food, my fortune and my sweet hope's aim,
1286 | My sole earth's heaven and my heaven's claim.
1287 |
1288 | LUCIANA All this my sister is, or else should be.
1289 |
1290 | ANTIPHOLUS
1291 | OF SYRACUSE Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee.
1292 | Thee will I love and with thee lead my life:
1293 | Thou hast no husband yet nor I no wife.
1294 | Give me thy hand.
1295 |
1296 | LUCIANA O, soft, air! hold you still:
1297 | I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will.
1298 |
1299 | [Exit]
1300 |
1301 | [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse]
1302 |
1303 | ANTIPHOLUS
1304 | OF SYRACUSE Why, how now, Dromio! where runn'st thou so fast?
1305 |
1306 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man?
1307 | am I myself?
1308 |
1309 | ANTIPHOLUS
1310 | OF SYRACUSE Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
1311 |
1312 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am an ass, I am a woman's man and besides myself.
1313 |
1314 | ANTIPHOLUS What woman's man? and how besides thyself? besides thyself?
1315 |
1316 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one
1317 | that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.
1318 |
1319 | ANTIPHOLUS
1320 | OF SYRACUSE What claim lays she to thee?
1321 |
1322 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry sir, such claim as you would lay to your
1323 | horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I
1324 | being a beast, she would have me; but that she,
1325 | being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.
1326 |
1327 | ANTIPHOLUS
1328 | OF SYRACUSE What is she?
1329 |
1330 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may
1331 | not speak of without he say 'Sir-reverence.' I have
1332 | but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a
1333 | wondrous fat marriage.
1334 |
1335 | ANTIPHOLUS
1336 | OF SYRACUSE How dost thou mean a fat marriage?
1337 |
1338 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench and all grease;
1339 | and I know not what use to put her to but to make a
1340 | lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I
1341 | warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a
1342 | Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday,
1343 | she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.
1344 |
1345 | ANTIPHOLUS
1346 | OF SYRACUSE What complexion is she of?
1347 |
1348 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing half so
1349 | clean kept: for why, she sweats; a man may go over
1350 | shoes in the grime of it.
1351 |
1352 | ANTIPHOLUS
1353 | OF SYRACUSE That's a fault that water will mend.
1354 |
1355 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.
1356 |
1357 | ANTIPHOLUS
1358 | OF SYRACUSE What's her name?
1359 |
1360 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that's
1361 | an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from
1362 | hip to hip.
1363 |
1364 | ANTIPHOLUS
1365 | OF SYRACUSE Then she bears some breadth?
1366 |
1367 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip:
1368 | she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out
1369 | countries in her.
1370 |
1371 | ANTIPHOLUS
1372 | OF SYRACUSE In what part of her body stands Ireland?
1373 |
1374 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, in her buttocks: I found it out by the bogs.
1375 |
1376 | ANTIPHOLUS
1377 | OF SYRACUSE Where Scotland?
1378 |
1379 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.
1380 |
1381 | ANTIPHOLUS
1382 | OF SYRACUSE Where France?
1383 |
1384 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war
1385 | against her heir.
1386 |
1387 | ANTIPHOLUS
1388 | OF SYRACUSE Where England?
1389 |
1390 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no
1391 | whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin,
1392 | by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.
1393 |
1394 | ANTIPHOLUS
1395 | OF SYRACUSE Where Spain?
1396 |
1397 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.
1398 |
1399 | ANTIPHOLUS
1400 | OF SYRACUSE Where America, the Indies?
1401 |
1402 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Oh, sir, upon her nose all o'er embellished with
1403 | rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich
1404 | aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole
1405 | armadoes of caracks to be ballast at her nose.
1406 |
1407 | ANTIPHOLUS
1408 | OF SYRACUSE Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?
1409 |
1410 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Oh, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this
1411 | drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd me
1412 | Dromio; swore I was assured to her; told me what
1413 | privy marks I had about me, as, the mark of my
1414 | shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my
1415 | left arm, that I amazed ran from her as a witch:
1416 | And, I think, if my breast had not been made of
1417 | faith and my heart of steel,
1418 | She had transform'd me to a curtal dog and made
1419 | me turn i' the wheel.
1420 |
1421 | ANTIPHOLUS
1422 | OF SYRACUSE Go hie thee presently, post to the road:
1423 | An if the wind blow any way from shore,
1424 | I will not harbour in this town to-night:
1425 | If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
1426 | Where I will walk till thou return to me.
1427 | If every one knows us and we know none,
1428 | 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone.
1429 |
1430 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE As from a bear a man would run for life,
1431 | So fly I from her that would be my wife.
1432 |
1433 | [Exit]
1434 |
1435 | ANTIPHOLUS
1436 | OF SYRACUSE There's none but witches do inhabit here;
1437 | And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence.
1438 | She that doth call me husband, even my soul
1439 | Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
1440 | Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace,
1441 | Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
1442 | Hath almost made me traitor to myself:
1443 | But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,
1444 | I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song.
1445 |
1446 | [Enter ANGELO with the chain]
1447 |
1448 | ANGELO Master Antipholus,--
1449 |
1450 | ANTIPHOLUS
1451 | OF SYRACUSE Ay, that's my name.
1452 |
1453 | ANGELO I know it well, sir, lo, here is the chain.
1454 | I thought to have ta'en you at the Porpentine:
1455 | The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long.
1456 |
1457 | ANTIPHOLUS
1458 | OF SYRACUSE What is your will that I shall do with this?
1459 |
1460 | ANGELO What please yourself, sir: I have made it for you.
1461 |
1462 | ANTIPHOLUS
1463 | OF SYRACUSE Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not.
1464 |
1465 | ANGELO Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.
1466 | Go home with it and please your wife withal;
1467 | And soon at supper-time I'll visit you
1468 | And then receive my money for the chain.
1469 |
1470 | ANTIPHOLUS
1471 | OF SYRACUSE I pray you, sir, receive the money now,
1472 | For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more.
1473 |
1474 | ANGELO You are a merry man, sir: fare you well.
1475 |
1476 | [Exit]
1477 |
1478 | ANTIPHOLUS
1479 | OF SYRACUSE What I should think of this, I cannot tell:
1480 | But this I think, there's no man is so vain
1481 | That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain.
1482 | I see a man here needs not live by shifts,
1483 | When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
1484 | I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay
1485 | If any ship put out, then straight away.
1486 |
1487 | [Exit]
1488 |
1489 |
1490 |
1491 |
1492 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
1493 |
1494 |
1495 | ACT IV
1496 |
1497 |
1498 |
1499 | SCENE I A public place.
1500 |
1501 |
1502 | [Enter Second Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer]
1503 |
1504 | Second Merchant You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
1505 | And since I have not much importuned you;
1506 | Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
1507 | To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage:
1508 | Therefore make present satisfaction,
1509 | Or I'll attach you by this officer.
1510 |
1511 | ANGELO Even just the sum that I do owe to you
1512 | Is growing to me by Antipholus,
1513 | And in the instant that I met with you
1514 | He had of me a chain: at five o'clock
1515 | I shall receive the money for the same.
1516 | Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
1517 | I will discharge my bond and thank you too.
1518 |
1519 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus
1520 | from the courtezan's]
1521 |
1522 | Officer That labour may you save: see where he comes.
1523 |
1524 | ANTIPHOLUS
1525 | OF EPHESUS While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou
1526 | And buy a rope's end: that will I bestow
1527 | Among my wife and her confederates,
1528 | For locking me out of my doors by day.
1529 | But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone;
1530 | Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.
1531 |
1532 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope.
1533 |
1534 | [Exit]
1535 |
1536 | ANTIPHOLUS
1537 | OF EPHESUS A man is well holp up that trusts to you:
1538 | I promised your presence and the chain;
1539 | But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
1540 | Belike you thought our love would last too long,
1541 | If it were chain'd together, and therefore came not.
1542 |
1543 | ANGELO Saving your merry humour, here's the note
1544 | How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,
1545 | The fineness of the gold and chargeful fashion.
1546 | Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
1547 | Than I stand debted to this gentleman:
1548 | I pray you, see him presently discharged,
1549 | For he is bound to sea and stays but for it.
1550 |
1551 | ANTIPHOLUS
1552 | OF EPHESUS I am not furnish'd with the present money;
1553 | Besides, I have some business in the town.
1554 | Good signior, take the stranger to my house
1555 | And with you take the chain and bid my wife
1556 | Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof:
1557 | Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
1558 |
1559 | ANGELO Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?
1560 |
1561 | ANTIPHOLUS
1562 | OF EPHESUS No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.
1563 |
1564 | ANGELO Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?
1565 |
1566 | ANTIPHOLUS
1567 | OF EPHESUS An if I have not, sir, I hope you have;
1568 | Or else you may return without your money.
1569 |
1570 | ANGELO Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain:
1571 | Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,
1572 | And I, to blame, have held him here too long.
1573 |
1574 | ANTIPHOLUS
1575 | OF EPHESUS Good Lord! you use this dalliance to excuse
1576 | Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.
1577 | I should have chid you for not bringing it,
1578 | But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
1579 |
1580 | Second Merchant The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.
1581 |
1582 | ANGELO You hear how he importunes me;--the chain!
1583 |
1584 | ANTIPHOLUS
1585 | OF EPHESUS Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money.
1586 |
1587 | ANGELO Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.
1588 | Either send the chain or send me by some token.
1589 |
1590 | ANTIPHOLUS
1591 | OF EPHESUS Fie, now you run this humour out of breath,
1592 | where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
1593 |
1594 | Second Merchant My business cannot brook this dalliance.
1595 | Good sir, say whether you'll answer me or no:
1596 | If not, I'll leave him to the officer.
1597 |
1598 | ANTIPHOLUS
1599 | OF EPHESUS I answer you! what should I answer you?
1600 |
1601 | ANGELO The money that you owe me for the chain.
1602 |
1603 | ANTIPHOLUS
1604 | OF EPHESUS I owe you none till I receive the chain.
1605 |
1606 | ANGELO You know I gave it you half an hour since.
1607 |
1608 | ANTIPHOLUS
1609 | OF EPHESUS You gave me none: you wrong me much to say so.
1610 |
1611 | ANGELO You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:
1612 | Consider how it stands upon my credit.
1613 |
1614 | Second Merchant Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
1615 |
1616 | Officer I do; and charge you in the duke's name to obey me.
1617 |
1618 | ANGELO This touches me in reputation.
1619 | Either consent to pay this sum for me
1620 | Or I attach you by this officer.
1621 |
1622 | ANTIPHOLUS
1623 | OF EPHESUS Consent to pay thee that I never had!
1624 | Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou darest.
1625 |
1626 | ANGELO Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer,
1627 | I would not spare my brother in this case,
1628 | If he should scorn me so apparently.
1629 |
1630 | Officer I do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit.
1631 |
1632 | ANTIPHOLUS
1633 | OF EPHESUS I do obey thee till I give thee bail.
1634 | But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear
1635 | As all the metal in your shop will answer.
1636 |
1637 | ANGELO Sir, sir, I will have law in Ephesus,
1638 | To your notorious shame; I doubt it not.
1639 |
1640 | [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse, from the bay]
1641 |
1642 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum
1643 | That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
1644 | And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,
1645 | I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought
1646 | The oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae.
1647 | The ship is in her trim; the merry wind
1648 | Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all
1649 | But for their owner, master, and yourself.
1650 |
1651 | ANTIPHOLUS
1652 | OF EPHESUS How now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep,
1653 | What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?
1654 |
1655 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.
1656 |
1657 | ANTIPHOLUS
1658 | OF EPHESUS Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope;
1659 | And told thee to what purpose and what end.
1660 |
1661 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE You sent me for a rope's end as soon:
1662 | You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
1663 |
1664 | ANTIPHOLUS
1665 | OF EPHESUS I will debate this matter at more leisure
1666 | And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
1667 | To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:
1668 | Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
1669 | That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry,
1670 | There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:
1671 | Tell her I am arrested in the street
1672 | And that shall bail me; hie thee, slave, be gone!
1673 | On, officer, to prison till it come.
1674 |
1675 | [Exeunt Second Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and
1676 | Antipholus of Ephesus]
1677 |
1678 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE To Adriana! that is where we dined,
1679 | Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:
1680 | She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
1681 | Thither I must, although against my will,
1682 | For servants must their masters' minds fulfil.
1683 |
1684 | [Exit]
1685 |
1686 |
1687 |
1688 |
1689 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
1690 |
1691 |
1692 | ACT IV
1693 |
1694 |
1695 |
1696 | SCENE II The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
1697 |
1698 |
1699 | [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA]
1700 |
1701 | ADRIANA Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?
1702 | Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eye
1703 | That he did plead in earnest? yea or no?
1704 | Look'd he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?
1705 | What observation madest thou in this case
1706 | Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face?
1707 |
1708 | LUCIANA First he denied you had in him no right.
1709 |
1710 | ADRIANA He meant he did me none; the more my spite.
1711 |
1712 | LUCIANA Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
1713 |
1714 | ADRIANA And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.
1715 |
1716 | LUCIANA Then pleaded I for you.
1717 |
1718 | ADRIANA And what said he?
1719 |
1720 | LUCIANA That love I begg'd for you he begg'd of me.
1721 |
1722 | ADRIANA With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
1723 |
1724 | LUCIANA With words that in an honest suit might move.
1725 | First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
1726 |
1727 | ADRIANA Didst speak him fair?
1728 |
1729 | LUCIANA Have patience, I beseech.
1730 |
1731 | ADRIANA I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still;
1732 | My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.
1733 | He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,
1734 | Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
1735 | Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
1736 | Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
1737 |
1738 | LUCIANA Who would be jealous then of such a one?
1739 | No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone.
1740 |
1741 | ADRIANA Ah, but I think him better than I say,
1742 | And yet would herein others' eyes were worse.
1743 | Far from her nest the lapwing cries away:
1744 | My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.
1745 |
1746 | [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse]
1747 |
1748 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Here! go; the desk, the purse! sweet, now, make haste.
1749 |
1750 | LUCIANA How hast thou lost thy breath?
1751 |
1752 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE By running fast.
1753 |
1754 | ADRIANA Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?
1755 |
1756 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.
1757 | A devil in an everlasting garment hath him;
1758 | One whose hard heart is button'd up with steel;
1759 | A fiend, a fury, pitiless and rough;
1760 | A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
1761 | A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that
1762 | countermands
1763 | The passages of alleys, creeks and narrow lands;
1764 | A hound that runs counter and yet draws dryfoot well;
1765 | One that before the judgement carries poor souls to hell.
1766 |
1767 | ADRIANA Why, man, what is the matter?
1768 |
1769 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I do not know the matter: he is 'rested on the case.
1770 |
1771 | ADRIANA What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit.
1772 |
1773 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I know not at whose suit he is arrested well;
1774 | But he's in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell.
1775 | Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?
1776 |
1777 | ADRIANA Go fetch it, sister.
1778 |
1779 | [Exit Luciana]
1780 |
1781 | This I wonder at,
1782 | That he, unknown to me, should be in debt.
1783 | Tell me, was he arrested on a band?
1784 |
1785 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not on a band, but on a stronger thing;
1786 | A chain, a chain! Do you not hear it ring?
1787 |
1788 | ADRIANA What, the chain?
1789 |
1790 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were gone:
1791 | It was two ere I left him, and now the clock
1792 | strikes one.
1793 |
1794 | ADRIANA The hours come back! that did I never hear.
1795 |
1796 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, yes; if any hour meet a sergeant, a' turns back for
1797 | very fear.
1798 |
1799 | ADRIANA As if Time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason!
1800 |
1801 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's
1802 | worth, to season.
1803 | Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say
1804 | That Time comes stealing on by night and day?
1805 | If Time be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way,
1806 | Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?
1807 |
1808 | [Re-enter LUCIANA with a purse]
1809 |
1810 | ADRIANA Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight;
1811 | And bring thy master home immediately.
1812 | Come, sister: I am press'd down with conceit--
1813 | Conceit, my comfort and my injury.
1814 |
1815 | [Exeunt]
1816 |
1817 |
1818 |
1819 |
1820 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
1821 |
1822 |
1823 | ACT IV
1824 |
1825 |
1826 |
1827 | SCENE III A public place.
1828 |
1829 |
1830 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse]
1831 |
1832 | ANTIPHOLUS
1833 | OF SYRACUSE There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
1834 | As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
1835 | And every one doth call me by my name.
1836 | Some tender money to me; some invite me;
1837 | Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
1838 | Some offer me commodities to buy:
1839 | Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop
1840 | And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
1841 | And therewithal took measure of my body.
1842 | Sure, these are but imaginary wiles
1843 | And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
1844 |
1845 | [Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE]
1846 |
1847 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have
1848 | you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?
1849 |
1850 | ANTIPHOLUS
1851 | OF SYRACUSE What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?
1852 |
1853 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not that Adam that kept the Paradise but that Adam
1854 | that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's
1855 | skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came
1856 | behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you
1857 | forsake your liberty.
1858 |
1859 | ANTIPHOLUS
1860 | OF SYRACUSE I understand thee not.
1861 |
1862 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a
1863 | bass-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir,
1864 | that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob
1865 | and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed
1866 | men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up
1867 | his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a
1868 | morris-pike.
1869 |
1870 | ANTIPHOLUS
1871 | OF SYRACUSE What, thou meanest an officer?
1872 |
1873 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band, he that brings
1874 | any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that
1875 | thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God
1876 | give you good rest!'
1877 |
1878 | ANTIPHOLUS
1879 | OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any
1880 |
1881 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the
1882 | bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were
1883 | you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy
1884 | Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to
1885 | deliver you.
1886 |
1887 | ANTIPHOLUS
1888 | OF SYRACUSE The fellow is distract, and so am I;
1889 | And here we wander in illusions:
1890 | Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
1891 |
1892 | [Enter a Courtezan]
1893 |
1894 | Courtezan Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
1895 | I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
1896 | Is that the chain you promised me to-day?
1897 |
1898 | ANTIPHOLUS
1899 | OF SYRACUSE Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
1900 |
1901 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, is this Mistress Satan?
1902 |
1903 | ANTIPHOLUS
1904 | OF SYRACUSE It is the devil.
1905 |
1906 |
1907 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here
1908 | she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof
1909 | comes that the wenches say 'God damn me;' that's as
1910 | much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is
1911 | written, they appear to men like angels of light:
1912 | light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn;
1913 | ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
1914 |
1915 | Courtezan Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
1916 | Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here?
1917 |
1918 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a
1919 | long spoon.
1920 |
1921 | ANTIPHOLUS
1922 | OF SYRACUSE Why, Dromio?
1923 |
1924 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with
1925 | the devil.
1926 |
1927 | ANTIPHOLUS
1928 | OF SYRACUSE Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping?
1929 | Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress:
1930 | I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
1931 |
1932 | Courtezan Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
1933 | Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
1934 | And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
1935 |
1936 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
1937 | A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
1938 | A nut, a cherry-stone;
1939 | But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
1940 | Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
1941 | The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
1942 |
1943 | Courtezan I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain:
1944 | I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
1945 |
1946 | ANTIPHOLUS
1947 | OF SYRACUSE Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
1948 |
1949 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know.
1950 |
1951 | [Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse]
1952 |
1953 | Courtezan Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
1954 | Else would he never so demean himself.
1955 | A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
1956 | And for the same he promised me a chain:
1957 | Both one and other he denies me now.
1958 | The reason that I gather he is mad,
1959 | Besides this present instance of his rage,
1960 | Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
1961 | Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
1962 | Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
1963 | On purpose shut the doors against his way.
1964 | My way is now to hie home to his house,
1965 | And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
1966 | He rush'd into my house and took perforce
1967 | My ring away. This course I fittest choose;
1968 | For forty ducats is too much to lose.
1969 |
1970 | [Exit]
1971 |
1972 |
1973 |
1974 |
1975 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
1976 |
1977 |
1978 | ACT IV
1979 |
1980 |
1981 |
1982 | SCENE IV A street.
1983 |
1984 |
1985 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer]
1986 |
1987 | ANTIPHOLUS
1988 | OF EPHESUS Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
1989 | I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
1990 | To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
1991 | My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
1992 | And will not lightly trust the messenger
1993 | That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
1994 | I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
1995 |
1996 | [Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end]
1997 |
1998 | Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
1999 | How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
2000 |
2001 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
2002 |
2003 | ANTIPHOLUS
2004 | OF EPHESUS But where's the money?
2005 |
2006 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
2007 |
2008 | ANTIPHOLUS
2009 | OF EPHESUS Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
2010 |
2011 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
2012 |
2013 | ANTIPHOLUS
2014 | OF EPHESUS To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
2015 |
2016 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.
2017 |
2018 | ANTIPHOLUS
2019 | OF EPHESUS And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
2020 |
2021 | [Beating him]
2022 |
2023 | Officer Good sir, be patient.
2024 |
2025 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
2026 |
2027 | Officer Good, now, hold thy tongue.
2028 |
2029 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
2030 |
2031 | ANTIPHOLUS
2032 | OF EPHESUS Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
2033 |
2034 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
2035 | your blows.
2036 |
2037 | ANTIPHOLUS Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an
2038 | ass.
2039 |
2040 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
2041 | ears. I have served him from the hour of my
2042 | nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
2043 | hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
2044 | heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
2045 | with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
2046 | raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
2047 | it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
2048 | I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
2049 | beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
2050 | lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
2051 |
2052 | ANTIPHOLUS
2053 | OF EPHESUS Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
2054 |
2055 | [Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH]
2056 |
2057 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
2058 | rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
2059 | rope's-end.'
2060 |
2061 | ANTIPHOLUS
2062 | OF EPHESUS Wilt thou still talk?
2063 |
2064 | [Beating him]
2065 |
2066 | Courtezan How say you now? is not your husband mad?
2067 |
2068 | ADRIANA His incivility confirms no less.
2069 | Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
2070 | Establish him in his true sense again,
2071 | And I will please you what you will demand.
2072 |
2073 | LUCIANA Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
2074 |
2075 | Courtezan Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
2076 |
2077 | PINCH Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
2078 |
2079 | ANTIPHOLUS
2080 | OF EPHESUS There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
2081 |
2082 | [Striking him]
2083 |
2084 | PINCH I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
2085 | To yield possession to my holy prayers
2086 | And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
2087 | I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
2088 |
2089 | ANTIPHOLUS
2090 | OF EPHESUS Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
2091 |
2092 | ADRIANA O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
2093 |
2094 | ANTIPHOLUS
2095 | OF EPHESUS You minion, you, are these your customers?
2096 | Did this companion with the saffron face
2097 | Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
2098 | Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
2099 | And I denied to enter in my house?
2100 |
2101 | ADRIANA O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
2102 | Where would you had remain'd until this time,
2103 | Free from these slanders and this open shame!
2104 |
2105 | ANTIPHOLUS
2106 | OF EPHESUS Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
2107 |
2108 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
2109 |
2110 | ANTIPHOLUS
2111 | OF EPHESUS Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?
2112 |
2113 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
2114 |
2115 | ANTIPHOLUS
2116 | OF EPHESUS And did not she herself revile me there?
2117 |
2118 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
2119 |
2120 | ANTIPHOLUS
2121 | OF EPHESUS Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
2122 |
2123 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
2124 |
2125 | ANTIPHOLUS
2126 | OF EPHESUS And did not I in rage depart from thence?
2127 |
2128 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
2129 | That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
2130 |
2131 | ADRIANA Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?
2132 |
2133 | PINCH It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
2134 | And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.
2135 |
2136 | ANTIPHOLUS
2137 | OF EPHESUS Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.
2138 |
2139 | ADRIANA Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
2140 | By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
2141 |
2142 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
2143 | But surely master, not a rag of money.
2144 |
2145 | ANTIPHOLUS
2146 | OF EPHESUS Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
2147 |
2148 | ADRIANA He came to me and I deliver'd it.
2149 |
2150 | LUCIANA And I am witness with her that she did.
2151 |
2152 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS God and the rope-maker bear me witness
2153 | That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
2154 |
2155 | PINCH Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
2156 | I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
2157 | They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
2158 |
2159 | ANTIPHOLUS
2160 | OF EPHESUS Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
2161 | And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
2162 |
2163 | ADRIANA I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
2164 |
2165 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS And, gentle master, I received no gold;
2166 | But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.
2167 |
2168 | ADRIANA Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.
2169 |
2170 | ANTIPHOLUS
2171 | OF EPHESUS Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
2172 | And art confederate with a damned pack
2173 | To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
2174 | But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
2175 | That would behold in me this shameful sport.
2176 |
2177 | [Enter three or four, and offer to bind him.
2178 | He strives]
2179 |
2180 | ADRIANA O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.
2181 |
2182 | PINCH More company! The fiend is strong within him.
2183 |
2184 | LUCIANA Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
2185 |
2186 | ANTIPHOLUS
2187 | OF EPHESUS What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
2188 | I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
2189 | To make a rescue?
2190 |
2191 | Officer Masters, let him go
2192 | He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
2193 |
2194 | PINCH Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.
2195 |
2196 | [They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus]
2197 |
2198 | ADRIANA What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
2199 | Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
2200 | Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
2201 |
2202 | Officer He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
2203 | The debt he owes will be required of me.
2204 |
2205 | ADRIANA I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
2206 | Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
2207 | And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
2208 | Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
2209 | Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
2210 |
2211 | ANTIPHOLUS
2212 | OF EPHESUS O most unhappy strumpet!
2213 |
2214 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Master, I am here entered in bond for you.
2215 |
2216 | ANTIPHOLUS
2217 | OF EPHESUS Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
2218 |
2219 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
2220 | cry 'The devil!'
2221 |
2222 | LUCIANA God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
2223 |
2224 | ADRIANA Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
2225 |
2226 | [Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and
2227 | Courtezan]
2228 |
2229 | Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
2230 |
2231 | Officer One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?
2232 |
2233 | ADRIANA I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
2234 |
2235 | Officer Two hundred ducats.
2236 |
2237 | ADRIANA Say, how grows it due?
2238 |
2239 | Officer Due for a chain your husband had of him.
2240 |
2241 | ADRIANA He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
2242 |
2243 | Courtezan When as your husband all in rage to-day
2244 | Came to my house and took away my ring--
2245 | The ring I saw upon his finger now--
2246 | Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
2247 |
2248 | ADRIANA It may be so, but I did never see it.
2249 | Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
2250 | I long to know the truth hereof at large.
2251 |
2252 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn,
2253 | and DROMIO of Syracuse]
2254 |
2255 | LUCIANA God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
2256 |
2257 | ADRIANA And come with naked swords.
2258 | Let's call more help to have them bound again.
2259 |
2260 | Officer Away! they'll kill us.
2261 |
2262 | [Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio
2263 | of Syracuse]
2264 |
2265 | ANTIPHOLUS
2266 | OF SYRACUSE I see these witches are afraid of swords.
2267 |
2268 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE She that would be your wife now ran from you.
2269 |
2270 | ANTIPHOLUS
2271 | OF SYRACUSE Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
2272 | I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
2273 |
2274 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
2275 | no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
2276 | methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
2277 | the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
2278 | me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
2279 | turn witch.
2280 |
2281 | ANTIPHOLUS
2282 | OF SYRACUSE I will not stay to-night for all the town;
2283 | Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.
2284 |
2285 | [Exeunt]
2286 |
2287 |
2288 |
2289 |
2290 | THE COMEDY OF ERRORS
2291 |
2292 |
2293 | ACT V
2294 |
2295 |
2296 |
2297 | SCENE I A street before a Priory.
2298 |
2299 |
2300 | [Enter Second Merchant and ANGELO]
2301 |
2302 | ANGELO I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder'd you;
2303 | But, I protest, he had the chain of me,
2304 | Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
2305 |
2306 | Second Merchant How is the man esteemed here in the city?
2307 |
2308 | ANGELO Of very reverend reputation, sir,
2309 | Of credit infinite, highly beloved,
2310 | Second to none that lives here in the city:
2311 | His word might bear my wealth at any time.
2312 |
2313 | Second Merchant Speak softly; yonder, as I think, he walks.
2314 |
2315 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and DROMIO of Syracuse]
2316 |
2317 | ANGELO 'Tis so; and that self chain about his neck
2318 | Which he forswore most monstrously to have.
2319 | Good sir, draw near to me, I'll speak to him.
2320 | Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
2321 | That you would put me to this shame and trouble;
2322 | And, not without some scandal to yourself,
2323 | With circumstance and oaths so to deny
2324 | This chain which now you wear so openly:
2325 | Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
2326 | You have done wrong to this my honest friend,
2327 | Who, but for staying on our controversy,
2328 | Had hoisted sail and put to sea to-day:
2329 | This chain you had of me; can you deny it?
2330 |
2331 | ANTIPHOLUS
2332 | OF SYRACUSE I think I had; I never did deny it.
2333 |
2334 | Second Merchant Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.
2335 |
2336 | ANTIPHOLUS
2337 | OF SYRACUSE Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
2338 |
2339 | Second Merchant These ears of mine, thou know'st did hear thee.
2340 | Fie on thee, wretch! 'tis pity that thou livest
2341 | To walk where any honest man resort.
2342 |
2343 | ANTIPHOLUS
2344 | OF SYRACUSE Thou art a villain to impeach me thus:
2345 | I'll prove mine honour and mine honesty
2346 | Against thee presently, if thou darest stand.
2347 |
2348 | Second Merchant I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
2349 |
2350 | [They draw]
2351 |
2352 | [Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and others]
2353 |
2354 | ADRIANA Hold, hurt him not, for God's sake! he is mad.
2355 | Some get within him, take his sword away:
2356 | Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.
2357 |
2358 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Run, master, run; for God's sake, take a house!
2359 | This is some priory. In, or we are spoil'd!
2360 |
2361 | [Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse
2362 | to the Priory]
2363 |
2364 | [Enter the Lady Abbess, AEMILIA]
2365 |
2366 | AEMELIA Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
2367 |
2368 | ADRIANA To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.
2369 | Let us come in, that we may bind him fast
2370 | And bear him home for his recovery.
2371 |
2372 | ANGELO I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
2373 |
2374 | Second Merchant I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
2375 |
2376 | AEMELIA How long hath this possession held the man?
2377 |
2378 | ADRIANA This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,
2379 | And much different from the man he was;
2380 | But till this afternoon his passion
2381 | Ne'er brake into extremity of rage.
2382 |
2383 | AEMELIA Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?
2384 | Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
2385 | Stray'd his affection in unlawful love?
2386 | A sin prevailing much in youthful men,
2387 | Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing.
2388 | Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
2389 |
2390 | ADRIANA To none of these, except it be the last;
2391 | Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.
2392 |
2393 | AEMELIA You should for that have reprehended him.
2394 |
2395 | ADRIANA Why, so I did.
2396 |
2397 | AEMELIA Ay, but not rough enough.
2398 |
2399 | ADRIANA As roughly as my modesty would let me.
2400 |
2401 | AEMELIA Haply, in private.
2402 |
2403 | ADRIANA And in assemblies too.
2404 |
2405 | AEMELIA Ay, but not enough.
2406 |
2407 | ADRIANA It was the copy of our conference:
2408 | In bed he slept not for my urging it;
2409 | At board he fed not for my urging it;
2410 | Alone, it was the subject of my theme;
2411 | In company I often glanced it;
2412 | Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
2413 |
2414 | AEMELIA And thereof came it that the man was mad.
2415 | The venom clamours of a jealous woman
2416 | Poisons more deadly than a mad dog's tooth.
2417 | It seems his sleeps were hinder'd by thy railing,
2418 | And therefore comes it that his head is light.
2419 | Thou say'st his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings:
2420 | Unquiet meals make ill digestions;
2421 | Thereof the raging fire of fever bred;
2422 | And what's a fever but a fit of madness?
2423 | Thou say'st his sports were hinderd by thy brawls:
2424 | Sweet recreation barr'd, what doth ensue
2425 | But moody and dull melancholy,
2426 | Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
2427 | And at her heels a huge infectious troop
2428 | Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?
2429 | In food, in sport and life-preserving rest
2430 | To be disturb'd, would mad or man or beast:
2431 | The consequence is then thy jealous fits
2432 | Have scared thy husband from the use of wits.
2433 |
2434 | LUCIANA She never reprehended him but mildly,
2435 | When he demean'd himself rough, rude and wildly.
2436 | Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
2437 |
2438 | ADRIANA She did betray me to my own reproof.
2439 | Good people enter and lay hold on him.
2440 |
2441 | AEMELIA No, not a creature enters in my house.
2442 |
2443 | ADRIANA Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
2444 |
2445 | AEMELIA Neither: he took this place for sanctuary,
2446 | And it shall privilege him from your hands
2447 | Till I have brought him to his wits again,
2448 | Or lose my labour in assaying it.
2449 |
2450 | ADRIANA I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
2451 | Diet his sickness, for it is my office,
2452 | And will have no attorney but myself;
2453 | And therefore let me have him home with me.
2454 |
2455 | AEMELIA Be patient; for I will not let him stir
2456 | Till I have used the approved means I have,
2457 | With wholesome syrups, drugs and holy prayers,
2458 | To make of him a formal man again:
2459 | It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
2460 | A charitable duty of my order.
2461 | Therefore depart and leave him here with me.
2462 |
2463 | ADRIANA I will not hence and leave my husband here:
2464 | And ill it doth beseem your holiness
2465 | To separate the husband and the wife.
2466 |
2467 | AEMELIA Be quiet and depart: thou shalt not have him.
2468 |
2469 | [Exit]
2470 |
2471 | LUCIANA Complain unto the duke of this indignity.
2472 |
2473 | ADRIANA Come, go: I will fall prostrate at his feet
2474 | And never rise until my tears and prayers
2475 | Have won his grace to come in person hither
2476 | And take perforce my husband from the abbess.
2477 |
2478 | Second Merchant By this, I think, the dial points at five:
2479 | Anon, I'm sure, the duke himself in person
2480 | Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
2481 | The place of death and sorry execution,
2482 | Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
2483 |
2484 | ANGELO Upon what cause?
2485 |
2486 | Second Merchant To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
2487 | Who put unluckily into this bay
2488 | Against the laws and statutes of this town,
2489 | Beheaded publicly for his offence.
2490 |
2491 | ANGELO See where they come: we will behold his death.
2492 |
2493 | LUCIANA Kneel to the duke before he pass the abbey.
2494 |
2495 | [Enter DUKE SOLINUS, attended; AEGEON bareheaded; with the
2496 | Headsman and other Officers]
2497 |
2498 | DUKE SOLINUS Yet once again proclaim it publicly,
2499 | If any friend will pay the sum for him,
2500 | He shall not die; so much we tender him.
2501 |
2502 | ADRIANA Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!
2503 |
2504 | DUKE SOLINUS She is a virtuous and a reverend lady:
2505 | It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
2506 |
2507 | ADRIANA May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband,
2508 | Whom I made lord of me and all I had,
2509 | At your important letters,--this ill day
2510 | A most outrageous fit of madness took him;
2511 | That desperately he hurried through the street,
2512 | With him his bondman, all as mad as he--
2513 | Doing displeasure to the citizens
2514 | By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
2515 | Rings, jewels, any thing his rage did like.
2516 | Once did I get him bound and sent him home,
2517 | Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went,
2518 | That here and there his fury had committed.
2519 | Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,
2520 | He broke from those that had the guard of him;
2521 | And with his mad attendant and himself,
2522 | Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
2523 | Met us again and madly bent on us,
2524 | Chased us away; till, raising of more aid,
2525 | We came again to bind them. Then they fled
2526 | Into this abbey, whither we pursued them:
2527 | And here the abbess shuts the gates on us
2528 | And will not suffer us to fetch him out,
2529 | Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.
2530 | Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command
2531 | Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help.
2532 |
2533 | DUKE SOLINUS Long since thy husband served me in my wars,
2534 | And I to thee engaged a prince's word,
2535 | When thou didst make him master of thy bed,
2536 | To do him all the grace and good I could.
2537 | Go, some of you, knock at the abbey-gate
2538 | And bid the lady abbess come to me.
2539 | I will determine this before I stir.
2540 |
2541 | [Enter a Servant]
2542 |
2543 | Servant O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself!
2544 | My master and his man are both broke loose,
2545 | Beaten the maids a-row and bound the doctor
2546 | Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire;
2547 | And ever, as it blazed, they threw on him
2548 | Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair:
2549 | My master preaches patience to him and the while
2550 | His man with scissors nicks him like a fool,
2551 | And sure, unless you send some present help,
2552 | Between them they will kill the conjurer.
2553 |
2554 | ADRIANA Peace, fool! thy master and his man are here,
2555 | And that is false thou dost report to us.
2556 |
2557 | Servant Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true;
2558 | I have not breathed almost since I did see it.
2559 | He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,
2560 | To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
2561 |
2562 | [Cry within]
2563 |
2564 | Hark, hark! I hear him, mistress. fly, be gone!
2565 |
2566 | DUKE SOLINUS Come, stand by me; fear nothing. Guard with halberds!
2567 |
2568 | ADRIANA Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you,
2569 | That he is borne about invisible:
2570 | Even now we housed him in the abbey here;
2571 | And now he's there, past thought of human reason.
2572 |
2573 | [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus]
2574 |
2575 | ANTIPHOLUS
2576 | OF EPHESUS Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice!
2577 | Even for the service that long since I did thee,
2578 | When I bestrid thee in the wars and took
2579 | Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood
2580 | That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
2581 |
2582 | AEGEON Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
2583 | I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
2584 |
2585 | ANTIPHOLUS
2586 | OF EPHESUS Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there!
2587 | She whom thou gavest to me to be my wife,
2588 | That hath abused and dishonour'd me
2589 | Even in the strength and height of injury!
2590 | Beyond imagination is the wrong
2591 | That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
2592 |
2593 | DUKE SOLINUS Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
2594 |
2595 | ANTIPHOLUS
2596 | OF EPHESUS This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me,
2597 | While she with harlots feasted in my house.
2598 |
2599 | DUKE SOLINUS A grievous fault! Say, woman, didst thou so?
2600 |
2601 | ADRIANA No, my good lord: myself, he and my sister
2602 | To-day did dine together. So befall my soul
2603 | As this is false he burdens me withal!
2604 |
2605 | LUCIANA Ne'er may I look on day, nor sleep on night,
2606 | But she tells to your highness simple truth!
2607 |
2608 | ANGELO O perjured woman! They are both forsworn:
2609 | In this the madman justly chargeth them.
2610 |
2611 | ANTIPHOLUS
2612 | OF EPHESUS My liege, I am advised what I say,
2613 | Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,
2614 | Nor heady-rash, provoked with raging ire,
2615 | Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
2616 | This woman lock'd me out this day from dinner:
2617 | That goldsmith there, were he not pack'd with her,
2618 | Could witness it, for he was with me then;
2619 | Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
2620 | Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,
2621 | Where Balthazar and I did dine together.
2622 | Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,
2623 | I went to seek him: in the street I met him
2624 | And in his company that gentleman.
2625 | There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down
2626 | That I this day of him received the chain,
2627 | Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which
2628 | He did arrest me with an officer.
2629 | I did obey, and sent my peasant home
2630 | For certain ducats: he with none return'd
2631 | Then fairly I bespoke the officer
2632 | To go in person with me to my house.
2633 | By the way we met
2634 | My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
2635 | Of vile confederates. Along with them
2636 | They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,
2637 | A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
2638 | A threadbare juggler and a fortune-teller,
2639 | A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,
2640 | A dead-looking man: this pernicious slave,
2641 | Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,
2642 | And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
2643 | And with no face, as 'twere, outfacing me,
2644 | Cries out, I was possess'd. Then all together
2645 | They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence
2646 | And in a dark and dankish vault at home
2647 | There left me and my man, both bound together;
2648 | Till, gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
2649 | I gain'd my freedom, and immediately
2650 | Ran hither to your grace; whom I beseech
2651 | To give me ample satisfaction
2652 | For these deep shames and great indignities.
2653 |
2654 | ANGELO My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,
2655 | That he dined not at home, but was lock'd out.
2656 |
2657 | DUKE SOLINUS But had he such a chain of thee or no?
2658 |
2659 | ANGELO He had, my lord: and when he ran in here,
2660 | These people saw the chain about his neck.
2661 |
2662 | Second Merchant Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
2663 | Heard you confess you had the chain of him
2664 | After you first forswore it on the mart:
2665 | And thereupon I drew my sword on you;
2666 | And then you fled into this abbey here,
2667 | From whence, I think, you are come by miracle.
2668 |
2669 | ANTIPHOLUS
2670 | OF EPHESUS I never came within these abbey-walls,
2671 | Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me:
2672 | I never saw the chain, so help me Heaven!
2673 | And this is false you burden me withal.
2674 |
2675 | DUKE SOLINUS Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
2676 | I think you all have drunk of Circe's cup.
2677 | If here you housed him, here he would have been;
2678 | If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly:
2679 | You say he dined at home; the goldsmith here
2680 | Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you?
2681 |
2682 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.
2683 |
2684 | Courtezan He did, and from my finger snatch'd that ring.
2685 |
2686 | ANTIPHOLUS
2687 | OF EPHESUS 'Tis true, my liege; this ring I had of her.
2688 |
2689 | DUKE SOLINUS Saw'st thou him enter at the abbey here?
2690 |
2691 | Courtezan As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
2692 |
2693 | DUKE SOLINUS Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither.
2694 | I think you are all mated or stark mad.
2695 |
2696 | [Exit one to Abbess]
2697 |
2698 | AEGEON Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word:
2699 | Haply I see a friend will save my life
2700 | And pay the sum that may deliver me.
2701 |
2702 | DUKE SOLINUS Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
2703 |
2704 | AEGEON Is not your name, sir, call'd Antipholus?
2705 | And is not that your bondman, Dromio?
2706 |
2707 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Within this hour I was his bondman sir,
2708 | But he, I thank him, gnaw'd in two my cords:
2709 | Now am I Dromio and his man unbound.
2710 |
2711 | AEGEON I am sure you both of you remember me.
2712 |
2713 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you;
2714 | For lately we were bound, as you are now
2715 | You are not Pinch's patient, are you, sir?
2716 |
2717 | AEGEON Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
2718 |
2719 | ANTIPHOLUS I never saw you in my life till now.
2720 |
2721 | AEGEON O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last,
2722 | And careful hours with time's deformed hand
2723 | Have written strange defeatures in my face:
2724 | But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
2725 |
2726 | ANTIPHOLUS
2727 | OF EPHESUS Neither.
2728 |
2729 | AEGEON Dromio, nor thou?
2730 |
2731 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS No, trust me, sir, nor I.
2732 |
2733 | AEGEON I am sure thou dost.
2734 |
2735 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not; and whatsoever a
2736 | man denies, you are now bound to believe him.
2737 |
2738 | AEGEON Not know my voice! O time's extremity,
2739 | Hast thou so crack'd and splitted my poor tongue
2740 | In seven short years, that here my only son
2741 | Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?
2742 | Though now this grained face of mine be hid
2743 | In sap-consuming winter's drizzled snow,
2744 | And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
2745 | Yet hath my night of life some memory,
2746 | My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
2747 | My dull deaf ears a little use to hear:
2748 | All these old witnesses--I cannot err--
2749 | Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
2750 |
2751 | ANTIPHOLUS
2752 | OF EPHESUS I never saw my father in my life.
2753 |
2754 | AEGEON But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
2755 | Thou know'st we parted: but perhaps, my son,
2756 | Thou shamest to acknowledge me in misery.
2757 |
2758 | ANTIPHOLUS
2759 | OF EPHESUS The duke and all that know me in the city
2760 | Can witness with me that it is not so
2761 | I ne'er saw Syracusa in my life.
2762 |
2763 | DUKE SOLINUS I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years
2764 | Have I been patron to Antipholus,
2765 | During which time he ne'er saw Syracusa:
2766 | I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
2767 |
2768 | [Re-enter AEMILIA, with ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and
2769 | DROMIO of Syracuse]
2770 |
2771 | AEMELIA Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong'd.
2772 |
2773 | [All gather to see them]
2774 |
2775 | ADRIANA I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
2776 |
2777 | DUKE SOLINUS One of these men is Genius to the other;
2778 | And so of these. Which is the natural man,
2779 | And which the spirit? who deciphers them?
2780 |
2781 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I, sir, am Dromio; command him away.
2782 |
2783 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS I, sir, am Dromio; pray, let me stay.
2784 |
2785 | ANTIPHOLUS
2786 | OF SYRACUSE AEgeon art thou not? or else his ghost?
2787 |
2788 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, my old master! who hath bound him here?
2789 |
2790 | AEMELIA Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds
2791 | And gain a husband by his liberty.
2792 | Speak, old AEgeon, if thou be'st the man
2793 | That hadst a wife once call'd AEmilia
2794 | That bore thee at a burden two fair sons:
2795 | O, if thou be'st the same AEgeon, speak,
2796 | And speak unto the same AEmilia!
2797 |
2798 | AEGEON If I dream not, thou art AEmilia:
2799 | If thou art she, tell me where is that son
2800 | That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
2801 |
2802 | AEMELIA By men of Epidamnum he and I
2803 | And the twin Dromio all were taken up;
2804 | But by and by rude fishermen of Corinth
2805 | By force took Dromio and my son from them
2806 | And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
2807 | What then became of them I cannot tell
2808 | I to this fortune that you see me in.
2809 |
2810 | DUKE SOLINUS Why, here begins his morning story right;
2811 | These two Antipholuses, these two so like,
2812 | And these two Dromios, one in semblance,--
2813 | Besides her urging of her wreck at sea,--
2814 | These are the parents to these children,
2815 | Which accidentally are met together.
2816 | Antipholus, thou camest from Corinth first?
2817 |
2818 | ANTIPHOLUS
2819 | OF SYRACUSE No, sir, not I; I came from Syracuse.
2820 |
2821 | DUKE SOLINUS Stay, stand apart; I know not which is which.
2822 |
2823 | ANTIPHOLUS
2824 | OF EPHESUS I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord,--
2825 |
2826 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS And I with him.
2827 |
2828 | ANTIPHOLUS
2829 | OF EPHESUS Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,
2830 | Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle.
2831 |
2832 | ADRIANA Which of you two did dine with me to-day?
2833 |
2834 | ANTIPHOLUS
2835 | OF SYRACUSE I, gentle mistress.
2836 |
2837 | ADRIANA And are not you my husband?
2838 |
2839 | ANTIPHOLUS
2840 | OF EPHESUS No; I say nay to that.
2841 |
2842 | ANTIPHOLUS
2843 | OF SYRACUSE And so do I; yet did she call me so:
2844 | And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
2845 | Did call me brother.
2846 |
2847 | [To Luciana]
2848 |
2849 | What I told you then,
2850 | I hope I shall have leisure to make good;
2851 | If this be not a dream I see and hear.
2852 |
2853 | ANGELO That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
2854 |
2855 | ANTIPHOLUS
2856 | OF SYRACUSE I think it be, sir; I deny it not.
2857 |
2858 | ANTIPHOLUS
2859 | OF EPHESUS And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
2860 |
2861 | ANGELO I think I did, sir; I deny it not.
2862 |
2863 | ADRIANA I sent you money, sir, to be your bail,
2864 | By Dromio; but I think he brought it not.
2865 |
2866 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS No, none by me.
2867 |
2868 | ANTIPHOLUS
2869 | OF SYRACUSE This purse of ducats I received from you,
2870 | And Dromio, my man, did bring them me.
2871 | I see we still did meet each other's man,
2872 | And I was ta'en for him, and he for me,
2873 | And thereupon these errors are arose.
2874 |
2875 | ANTIPHOLUS
2876 | OF EPHESUS These ducats pawn I for my father here.
2877 |
2878 | DUKE SOLINUS It shall not need; thy father hath his life.
2879 |
2880 | Courtezan Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
2881 |
2882 | ANTIPHOLUS
2883 | OF EPHESUS There, take it; and much thanks for my good cheer.
2884 |
2885 | AEMELIA Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains
2886 | To go with us into the abbey here
2887 | And hear at large discoursed all our fortunes:
2888 | And all that are assembled in this place,
2889 | That by this sympathized one day's error
2890 | Have suffer'd wrong, go keep us company,
2891 | And we shall make full satisfaction.
2892 | Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail
2893 | Of you, my sons; and till this present hour
2894 | My heavy burden ne'er delivered.
2895 | The duke, my husband and my children both,
2896 | And you the calendars of their nativity,
2897 | Go to a gossips' feast and go with me;
2898 | After so long grief, such festivity!
2899 |
2900 | DUKE SOLINUS With all my heart, I'll gossip at this feast.
2901 |
2902 | [Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse, Antipholus
2903 | of Ephesus, Dromio of Syracuse and Dromio of Ephesus]
2904 |
2905 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
2906 |
2907 | ANTIPHOLUS
2908 | OF EPHESUS Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark'd?
2909 |
2910 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
2911 |
2912 | ANTIPHOLUS
2913 | OF SYRACUSE He speaks to me. I am your master, Dromio:
2914 | Come, go with us; we'll look to that anon:
2915 | Embrace thy brother there; rejoice with him.
2916 |
2917 | [Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Antipholus of Ephesus]
2918 |
2919 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE There is a fat friend at your master's house,
2920 | That kitchen'd me for you to-day at dinner:
2921 | She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
2922 |
2923 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother:
2924 | I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
2925 | Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
2926 |
2927 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not I, sir; you are my elder.
2928 |
2929 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS That's a question: how shall we try it?
2930 |
2931 | DROMIO OF SYRACUSE We'll draw cuts for the senior: till then lead thou first.
2932 |
2933 | DROMIO OF EPHESUS Nay, then, thus:
2934 | We came into the world like brother and brother;
2935 | And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another.
2936 |
2937 | [Exeunt]
2938 |
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/images/step1.jpg:
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https://raw.githubusercontent.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/b436f203f6b02411422aa90f2df405fb24bcdba1/images/step1.jpg
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/images/step2.jpg:
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https://raw.githubusercontent.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/b436f203f6b02411422aa90f2df405fb24bcdba1/images/step2.jpg
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/images/step3.jpg:
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https://raw.githubusercontent.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/b436f203f6b02411422aa90f2df405fb24bcdba1/images/step3.jpg
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/notebooks/JustEnoughScalaForSpark.pdf:
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https://raw.githubusercontent.com/deanwampler/JustEnoughScalaForSpark/b436f203f6b02411422aa90f2df405fb24bcdba1/notebooks/JustEnoughScalaForSpark.pdf
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/run-docker.bat:
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1 | docker run -it --rm -p 8888:8888 -p 4040:4040 -p 4041:4041 -p 4042:4042 --cpus=3.0 --memory=3500M -v "%CD%":/home/jovyan/work jupyter/all-spark-notebook:spark-3.2.0
2 |
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/run-podman.bat:
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1 | podman run -it --rm -p 8888:8888 -p 4040:4040 -p 4041:4041 -p 4042:4042 --cpus=3.0 --memory=3500M --userns=keep-id -v "%CD%":/home/jovyan/work jupyter/all-spark-notebook:spark-3.2.0
2 |
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/run.sh:
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1 | export DOCKER_CMD=docker
2 | which -s podman > /dev/null
3 | if [[ $? -eq 0 ]]
4 | then
5 | DOCKER_CMD=podman
6 | export DOCKER_HOST="unix:///$HOME/.local/share/containers/podman/machine/podman-machine-default/podman.sock"
7 | export PODMAN_OPTS="--userns=keep-id"
8 | echo "Using podman..."
9 | echo "Setting DOCKER_HOST = $DOCKER_HOST"
10 | fi
11 |
12 | # If you want to pass other arguments to the container, like a different command to run,
13 | # just pass them to this script.
14 | # To see what's executed without running the command use "NOOP=echo run.sh ..."
15 | $NOOP $DOCKER_CMD run -it --rm \
16 | -p 8888:8888 -p 4040:4040 -p 4041:4041 -p 4042:4042 \
17 | --cpus=3.0 --memory=3500M \
18 | $PODMAN_OPTS \
19 | -v "$PWD":/home/jovyan/work \
20 | jupyter/all-spark-notebook:spark-3.2.0 \
21 | "$@"
22 |
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