├── LICENSE.rst ├── README.rst └── stories ├── PHPBeneluxBumperCars.rst └── PlayingFrogger.rst /LICENSE.rst: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | Create Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International 2 | ---------------------------------------------------------- 3 | 4 | This collection of stories is published under the Creative Commons 5 | Attribution-NonCommercial license (CC BY-NC 4.0). 6 | 7 | https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/legalcode.en 8 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.rst: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ============= 2 | PHP at Thirty 3 | ============= 4 | 5 | The PHP project is thirty years old this May. 6 | 7 | In these years, the PHP community has had many events. User groups, 8 | conferences, and developer meetings. At these events, a lot of things have 9 | transpired. Many of these are now "lore"—most of then funny and harmless, some 10 | of them embarrassing. It would be fun to have a collection of these stories 11 | before we start forgetting them. 12 | 13 | This repository has been created to collect the stories from these past years, 14 | to remember the good times, and the bad times. I intend to publish these as a 15 | collection at some point. 16 | 17 | You are actively encouraged to submit your own stories through making a pull 18 | request. Ideally they're in the `reStructured Text format 19 | `_, but plain 20 | text stories can be submitted too. Stories should go into the ``stories/`` 21 | directory, and ideally have a few keywords (hashtags) and keywords as well. 22 | See how I have used that in "Playing Frogger". Please don't have spaces in the 23 | story file names, but instead use CamelCase. 24 | 25 | The stories could include the name of the involved participants, but if you 26 | don't want to do that, that is fine too. Ideally the involved community 27 | members agree to be part of the story in this collection. Be nice. 28 | 29 | Pull requests with updates to stories, or to add or fix details, are also 30 | welcome. 31 | 32 | If you want to submit them anonymously, or not linked to your GitHub account, 33 | feel free to use `this form `_, and 34 | I will add them manually. 35 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /stories/PHPBeneluxBumperCars.rst: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ================================ 2 | The PHPBenelux bumper cars story 3 | ================================ 4 | 5 | *Author*: Thijs Feryn 6 | 7 | *Setting:* PHPBenelux, Belgium, 2014 8 | 9 | *Tags:* #social #conference #entertainment 10 | 11 | The `PHPBenelux `_ conference was a community conference in Antwerp *(Belgium)* that started out in 2010. A collective of Belgian and Dutch PHP community members joined forces to organize this event with a couple of key ambitions: 12 | 13 | - Feature compelling presentations by respected speakers from the international PHP community 14 | - Focus on the Benelux area *(Belgium, The Netherlands & Luxembourg)*, but still be welcoming to visitors from other countries 15 | - Affordable, even for individuals who aren't backed by companies 16 | - Prioritize the social gathering throughout the event 17 | 18 | Especially that last part, the social aspect, was incredibly important to us: 19 | 20 | People come for the talks, but they stay for the people. 21 | 22 | We went out of our way to make the social event the highlight of our conference. So what's the recipe for a good party? 23 | 24 | - You need drinks, obviously *(Belgian beer has that part covered)* 25 | - You need to feed the people *(Belgian fries, check!)* 26 | - You need entertainment to facilitate the conversations 27 | 28 | Over the years, we had a lot of entertainment options: *a bowling alley, ping pong, foosball, air hockey, bouncy castles, laser tag, casino night, mini golf, a mechanical bull, a punching machine, the JeoPHPardy game show, a magician.* 29 | 30 | But the most notorious attraction we had was **the bumper cars**. 31 | 32 | The origin story 33 | **************** 34 | 35 | In 2010 I attended the `Graspop `_ music festival. I saw some great bands, but in between sets I walked around the festival ground. A saw a bunch of sponsors who had built stands to attract visitors. There was one stand that really stood out: the Hammerite stand. 36 | 37 | Hammerite is a company that specializes in metal paint products, which isn't too far of a stretch at a heavy metal festival. **They brought a full-on bumper car attraction** to the festival, the kind you see at the fairground. I saw that and I immediately knew I wanted something similar for the next PHPBenelux conference. 38 | 39 | As we were preparing for the second edition of our conference, I started pitching the idea of having bumper cars. As you'd expect: the rest of the crew thought I was crazy. And as you'd also expect: it didn't happen. But I persisted. 40 | 41 | And even though there were no bumper cars for the next couple of editions, I instilled this idea in the minds of my fellow organizers that an outrageous attraction would blow people's minds. They agreed and gave me a mandate to start researching the feasiblity. 42 | 43 | Some obvious questions: 44 | 45 | - Where are we going to put them? 46 | - Where can we rent them? 47 | - How much is it going to cost? 48 | 49 | Luckily, our `venue `_ featured a big parking lot. Space was not an issue. I also tried to get in touch with some *carnies* who make a living out of running these attractions, but it wasn't easy to figure out. 50 | 51 | But out of nowhere an employee of our venue partner reached out and said he knew a famous carnival family from Antwerp who runs a bumper car ride for the local Antwerp fair. That was great news and one step closer to our goal. 52 | 53 | I remember that the cost of having the bumper car attraction for 2 nights was a whopping 7000 Euro, which was quite a chunk of money back in the day. But thanks to our loyal sponsors, there was budget for it. 54 | 55 | There was consensus in the group that this would be feasible, but I guess they also wanted to put an end to my non-stop nagging. And it was decided that the 2014 edition of the PHPBenelux conference would feature bumper cars. 56 | 57 | We were very fortunate that our venue partner talked to the carnival family, arranged the logistics and the payment. In the end it was nothing more than an invoice line on our venue bill. 58 | 59 | A couple of days before the event, we had gotten word that the setup was already happening. Even before the PHPBenelux crew arrived onsite, the bumper cars were set up and the venue's bar staff and crew had already taken them for a test drive. 60 | 61 | That test drive was a pretty solid indicator for the success of this attraction: apparently the bar staff loved the ride and they were excited to see it in action at the conference. 62 | 63 | The attraction in action 64 | ************************ 65 | 66 | After day one of the conference, we kicked off the social: there was a lot of buzz in the expo hall where drinks and snacks were served while the attendees mingled. Every sponsor that exhibited in the expo hall had their own attraction and people were having a lot of fun. 67 | 68 | Another tradition at PHPBenelux is the Belgian fries: people rushed outside to queue for this local delicacy. And as people were outside queueing and eating, our main attraction was getting a lot of looks. 69 | 70 | A couple of people tried them out, and the fun started. As the night progressed and more Belgian beers were consumed, the bumper car rides were getting wilder and wilder. 71 | 72 | It's at that point that the majority of the people realized that unlimited bumper car rides without the need for tokens is a very different experience: imagine cruising around the track for an hour straight, getting hit multiple times every minute. 73 | 74 | I'm not sure if the side-effects qualify as actual concussions, but mild headaches were being reported. Putting pairs of grown adults together in these tiny cars and smashing them into each other also resulted in other types of discomfort: knees, backs, necks. They all started hurting. 75 | 76 | *Fun fact:* PHPBenelux takes place in January. If it's not freezing at that time of the year, it's at least quite chilly. As a gift we included knitted PHPBenelux-branded winter scarves in the goodie bag. 77 | 78 | People actually started using these scarves as padding to protect their knees from the impact of those bumper cars. And on day 2 of the conferences, pictures started appearing on social media of the bruises that were inflicted by our glorious carnival attraction. 79 | 80 | But make no mistake: there were no complaints. The bruises were considered trophies and our attendees were actually flexing by posting their injuries on social media. 81 | 82 | And that's how the PHPBenelux bumper cars became *a thing* in the world of PHP conferences. 83 | 84 | Conclusion 85 | ********** 86 | 87 | The stories of the bumper cars and resulting bruizes added to the mystique of our conference. The next year we noticed a lot more hype surrounding the event. 88 | 89 | To avoid it becoming a gimmick, we decided to not have bumper cars at the 2015 edition of the PHPBenelux conference. But sure enough, by popular demand, they were back in 2016. 90 | 91 | The stories live on and luckily Jordi Boggiano documented the experience in his `PHPBenelux 2014 Flickr album `_. 92 | 93 | *Another fun fact:* after the 2016 edition of our conference where we solidified the reputation of the bumper cars, our venue partner added bumper cars to their official list of event options. 94 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /stories/PlayingFrogger.rst: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | =============== 2 | Playing Frogger 3 | =============== 4 | 5 | *Author*: Derick Rethans 6 | 7 | *Setting:* php[tek], Chicago, various years 8 | 9 | *Tags:* #nights-out #conference 10 | 11 | The php[tek] conference has been held in Chicago, near O'Hare airport for at 12 | least as early as 2007. In fact, its current current iteration in 2025 is 13 | still there. 14 | 15 | The hotel bar is fairly boring, and as it is near the airport, there isn't 16 | really anything around here, unless you're willing to drive. 17 | 18 | Luckily, for many years, there used to be a bar across the street called 19 | "Shoeless Joe's". They're no longer there as their lot was going to get 20 | redeveloped into a new part of the airport, but that has never happened, but I 21 | digress. 22 | 23 | To have something a something more interesting, many of us would like to go an 24 | actual bar, and that was indeed this Shoeless Joe's. Unfortunately the bar was 25 | located diagonally opposite of a busy road crossing away from the hotel. 26 | 27 | As this is the US, there has been no concern on how pedestrians would cross 28 | this road safely. There wasn't even a pedestrian light for a long time. 29 | 30 | So instead of doing the sensible thing and walking along while to find the 31 | safe crossing, we all thought it would be great fun to play our chances 32 | crossing the road in between the traffic light's cycles. 33 | 34 | This wasn't too hard going *to* the bar, but a whole lot more haphazard 35 | after a few (late) nights out at the bar! Luckily, I am not aware of any 36 | traffic accidents or injuries. At least not from the traffic ;-). 37 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------