├── Salad.pdf ├── Base Rate.pdf ├── Duplicitous.pdf ├── README.md └── dependency-hell.md /Salad.pdf: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/jaronilan/stories/HEAD/Salad.pdf -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /Base Rate.pdf: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/jaronilan/stories/HEAD/Base Rate.pdf -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /Duplicitous.pdf: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/jaronilan/stories/HEAD/Duplicitous.pdf -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # Stories 2 | 3 | * [Dependency Hell](./dependency-hell.md) 4 | * [Salad](./Salad.pdf) 5 | * [Duplicitous](./Duplicitous.pdf) 6 | * [Base Rate](./Base%20Rate.pdf) 7 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /dependency-hell.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 |








3 |

Dependency Hell

4 |
by Jaroni Lan
5 |



6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Ok. That was an easy fix. 10 | 11 | $ npm run build 12 | 13 | Enter. 14 | 15 | With all the tests and stuff, I guess I have about 15 minutes to spare. Let’s head to the kitchen to grab some coffee. 16 | 17 | Just my luck. The pot is empty. No big deal. I’ll make some fresh brew. 18 | 19 | There should be a can of ground coffee here in the cupboard above the counter. Ah, bummer, it’s empty. I’ll go grab a new one from the supply cabinet down the hall. 20 | 21 | It’s good to stretch a little, here we go, cabinet is, is, is here. Cabinet is, is, is locked. 22 | 23 | No biggie. Jake has keys. His office is on the first floor. I’ll take the stairs it’s good exercise. 24 | 25 | Down we go, 4, 3, 2, 1, here we are. Jake’s office, has a, a, a note: “I’m not in this week, if you need help see Janice at building 17”. 26 | 27 | Building 17, it’s just across the street. I know where her office is. Let’s go there. 28 | 29 | “Hi doorman!” 30 | 31 | “To see Janice.” 32 | 33 | “I need to sign in?” 34 | 35 | “Ok, will do.” 36 | 37 | “First Name: Will. Last Name: Scott. Department: Web Development. Reason of visit: Get keys to the supply cabinet. Host: Janice.” 38 | 39 | “Can I go now?” 40 | 41 | “Ok, I’ll wait.” 42 | 43 | “Hi Janice!” 44 | 45 | “No not long, maybe like 5 minutes.” 46 | 47 | “You don’t have them?” 48 | 49 | “But Jake said...” 50 | 51 | “Ok thanks anyway.” 52 | 53 | Back we walk, up the stairs, 1, 2, 3, 4. Now what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? Ah, Samantha will know. Let’s text her. 54 | 55 | “Samantha, we are out of coffee...” 56 | 57 | “Yes, I looked there but the can is empty.” 58 | 59 | “The supply cabinet is locked.” 60 | 61 | “Jake not in this week.” 62 | 63 | “Janice doesn’t have the keys.” 64 | 65 | “How do I know that? I just went to building 17 and talked to her.” 66 | 67 | “Samantha, you are such a saver! I should have thought about it before. Heading up there right now.” 68 | 69 | To the 7th floor. Marketing department, mini kitchen. I’ll take the elevator now. 4, 5, 6, 7 ping. Down the hall and we are here. 70 | 71 | Wow. That’s a fancy machine. Much better than ours. Let’s see. Here? No. Here? Nope. Here? Click. Capsules. Wait. Where do I get one? Let’s try the cupboard. 72 | 73 | No capsules. Hummm, Think, think. Cabinet down the hallway? It will be locked. Seen that. Let’s check the other cupboards. Napkins. Cookies. Should I? Naaa, diet. Pots? Who needs pots? Bags. Bag. Bag of coffee! 74 | 75 | Here we go. Down the stairs. 7, 6, 5, 4. Through the hallway and into the kitchen. Open the bag. Hummm. Open the bag. Hummm. Scissors. Scissors? Here scissors. Cut. It’s Beans. Damn. 76 | 77 | “Samantha!” 78 | 79 | “I’m ok, I’m ok. There’s no coffee at marketing.” 80 | 81 | “They have no capsules.” 82 | 83 | “Yah, I know, it’s so unfair. I found a bag of coffee though.” 84 | 85 | “Can’t do. It’s beans. I need a coffee grinder.” 86 | 87 | “Don’t know. We don’t have one. I guess I can go back to marketing.” 88 | 89 | “That’s an interesting idea. Let me try.” 90 | 91 | Towel? Found one. Wrap bag with towel. Take bag wrapped in towel and place it on the floor. Step on it. Again. Again. Again. Jump. 92 | 93 | “It’s not working. I guess my shoe soles are too soft or something.” 94 | 95 | “Floor by floor? I don’t like that. I have an idea. I know how to solve this thing! Wait.” 96 | 97 | Adam. Adam has a hammer. I saw him fixing his chair once. He is on this floor other side. Let’s go. Cubicle, cubicle, cubicle. Found him. 98 | 99 | “Hi Adam, got a hammer by any chance?” 100 | 101 | “You do? That’s great. I was begining to think the universe is conspiring against me.” 102 | 103 | “Making coffee.” 104 | 105 | “Sure come on.” 106 | 107 | Back to the kitchen with Adam and the hammer. Coffee bag wrapped and ready to go. Adam will use the hammer. I’ll hold. 108 | 109 | “Yes. You can start.” 110 | 111 | “Watch out.” 112 | 113 | “Finger is fine, finger is fine. Just make sure we don’t break any tiles”. 114 | 115 | “A few more.” 116 | 117 | “Wow, this really smells good.” 118 | 119 | Let’s make some coffee. Open the machine drawer. Throw the old dirty soggy filter to the garbage. Yak. Get new... noooo! 120 | 121 | “Adam, we have no filters!” 122 | 123 | “Marketing had extra coffee, maybe they have extra filters. I don’t know. I don’t know. Let’s see what Samantha says. 124 | 125 | “Samantha, we have no filters.” 126 | 127 | “That’s not giving up. If they have a machine in building 12, I’d rather just go there. It’s simpler. Meet me there?” 128 | 129 | “Adam, you coming? Samantha is.” 130 | 131 | “To building 12. They have this old coffee vending machine”. 132 | 133 | Down the elevator. 4, 3, 2, 1 ping. Out and to the left. 300 meters up hill. 134 | 135 | “Hi Samantha, great to see you in person.” 136 | 137 | About 200 meters more. Into the lobby. Here it is. No tap. No tap? No tap! 138 | 139 | “Anyone got change?” 140 | 141 | “Ok guys. This is a dead end and it’s shity coffee. Starbucks?” 142 | 143 | Out of lobby down the street. Round the corner. Stand in line. 144 | 145 | “I’ll buy.” 146 | 147 | “One Venti Green Tea, one Grande Skinny Caramel Macchiato and a Tall coffee.” 148 | 149 | “No, not Americano. The simple one.” 150 | 151 | “Credit.” 152 | 153 | “Will.” 154 | 155 | Tap. Let’s wait. Here it comes. 156 | 157 | “I got to go back to my desk if that’s ok with you guys.” 158 | 159 | Back round the corner, up the street. Pass building 12. 200 meters down hill. 160 | 161 | “Bye Samantha, thanks for the help! See ya around.” 162 | 163 | 300 meters more downhill. Into the building. Up the elevator, 1, 2, 3, 4 ping. 164 | 165 | “See you Adam.” 166 | 167 | Down the hall. There’s my desk. It’s been a while. 168 | 169 | “Found 11 vulnerabilities (11 low, 2 high) in 1557 scanned packages. 1 vulnerability requires semver-major dependency updates. 12 vulnerabilities require manual review.” 170 | 171 | “Build failed” 172 | 173 | Oh crap. 174 | 175 | 176 | 177 | 178 | # 179 |
(c) All Rights Reserved
180 | Vancouver, 2021
181 | 182 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------