├── .gitignore ├── README.md ├── compare_embeddings.py ├── create_database.py ├── data └── books │ └── alice_in_wonderland.md ├── query_data.py └── requirements.txt /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | .env 2 | chroma_* 3 | chroma 4 | .DS_Store -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # Langchain RAG Tutorial 2 | 3 | ## Install dependencies 4 | 5 | 1. Do the following before installing the dependencies found in `requirements.txt` file because of current challenges installing `onnxruntime` through `pip install onnxruntime`. 6 | 7 | - For MacOS users, a workaround is to first install `onnxruntime` dependency for `chromadb` using: 8 | 9 | ```python 10 | conda install onnxruntime -c conda-forge 11 | ``` 12 | See this [thread](https://github.com/microsoft/onnxruntime/issues/11037) for additonal help if needed. 13 | 14 | - For Windows users, follow the guide [here](https://github.com/bycloudai/InstallVSBuildToolsWindows?tab=readme-ov-file) to install the Microsoft C++ Build Tools. Be sure to follow through to the last step to set the enviroment variable path. 15 | 16 | 17 | 2. Now run this command to install dependenies in the `requirements.txt` file. 18 | 19 | ```python 20 | pip install -r requirements.txt 21 | ``` 22 | 23 | 3. Install markdown depenendies with: 24 | 25 | ```python 26 | pip install "unstructured[md]" 27 | ``` 28 | 29 | ## Create database 30 | 31 | Create the Chroma DB. 32 | 33 | ```python 34 | python create_database.py 35 | ``` 36 | 37 | ## Query the database 38 | 39 | Query the Chroma DB. 40 | 41 | ```python 42 | python query_data.py "How does Alice meet the Mad Hatter?" 43 | ``` 44 | 45 | > You'll also need to set up an OpenAI account (and set the OpenAI key in your environment variable) for this to work. 46 | 47 | Here is a step-by-step tutorial video: [RAG+Langchain Python Project: Easy AI/Chat For Your Docs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcqEUSNCn8I&ab_channel=pixegami). 48 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /compare_embeddings.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from langchain_openai import OpenAIEmbeddings 2 | from langchain.evaluation import load_evaluator 3 | from dotenv import load_dotenv 4 | import openai 5 | import os 6 | 7 | # Load environment variables. Assumes that project contains .env file with API keys 8 | load_dotenv() 9 | #---- Set OpenAI API key 10 | # Change environment variable name from "OPENAI_API_KEY" to the name given in 11 | # your .env file. 12 | openai.api_key = os.environ['OPENAI_API_KEY'] 13 | 14 | def main(): 15 | # Get embedding for a word. 16 | embedding_function = OpenAIEmbeddings() 17 | vector = embedding_function.embed_query("apple") 18 | print(f"Vector for 'apple': {vector}") 19 | print(f"Vector length: {len(vector)}") 20 | 21 | # Compare vector of two words 22 | evaluator = load_evaluator("pairwise_embedding_distance") 23 | words = ("apple", "iphone") 24 | x = evaluator.evaluate_string_pairs(prediction=words[0], prediction_b=words[1]) 25 | print(f"Comparing ({words[0]}, {words[1]}): {x}") 26 | 27 | 28 | if __name__ == "__main__": 29 | main() 30 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /create_database.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # from langchain.document_loaders import DirectoryLoader 2 | from langchain_community.document_loaders import DirectoryLoader 3 | from langchain.text_splitter import RecursiveCharacterTextSplitter 4 | from langchain.schema import Document 5 | # from langchain.embeddings import OpenAIEmbeddings 6 | from langchain_openai import OpenAIEmbeddings 7 | from langchain_community.vectorstores import Chroma 8 | import openai 9 | from dotenv import load_dotenv 10 | import os 11 | import shutil 12 | 13 | # Load environment variables. Assumes that project contains .env file with API keys 14 | load_dotenv() 15 | #---- Set OpenAI API key 16 | # Change environment variable name from "OPENAI_API_KEY" to the name given in 17 | # your .env file. 18 | openai.api_key = os.environ['OPENAI_API_KEY'] 19 | 20 | CHROMA_PATH = "chroma" 21 | DATA_PATH = "data/books" 22 | 23 | 24 | def main(): 25 | generate_data_store() 26 | 27 | 28 | def generate_data_store(): 29 | documents = load_documents() 30 | chunks = split_text(documents) 31 | save_to_chroma(chunks) 32 | 33 | 34 | def load_documents(): 35 | loader = DirectoryLoader(DATA_PATH, glob="*.md") 36 | documents = loader.load() 37 | return documents 38 | 39 | 40 | def split_text(documents: list[Document]): 41 | text_splitter = RecursiveCharacterTextSplitter( 42 | chunk_size=300, 43 | chunk_overlap=100, 44 | length_function=len, 45 | add_start_index=True, 46 | ) 47 | chunks = text_splitter.split_documents(documents) 48 | print(f"Split {len(documents)} documents into {len(chunks)} chunks.") 49 | 50 | document = chunks[10] 51 | print(document.page_content) 52 | print(document.metadata) 53 | 54 | return chunks 55 | 56 | 57 | def save_to_chroma(chunks: list[Document]): 58 | # Clear out the database first. 59 | if os.path.exists(CHROMA_PATH): 60 | shutil.rmtree(CHROMA_PATH) 61 | 62 | # Create a new DB from the documents. 63 | db = Chroma.from_documents( 64 | chunks, OpenAIEmbeddings(), persist_directory=CHROMA_PATH 65 | ) 66 | db.persist() 67 | print(f"Saved {len(chunks)} chunks to {CHROMA_PATH}.") 68 | 69 | 70 | if __name__ == "__main__": 71 | main() 72 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/books/alice_in_wonderland.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | The Project Gutenberg eBook of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland 2 | 3 | This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and 4 | most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions 5 | whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms 6 | of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online 7 | at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, 8 | you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located 9 | before using this eBook. 10 | 11 | Title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland 12 | 13 | Author: Lewis Carroll 14 | 15 | Release date: June 27, 2008 [eBook #11] 16 | Most recently updated: March 30, 2021 17 | 18 | Language: English 19 | 20 | Credits: Arthur DiBianca and David Widger 21 | 22 | **_ START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND _** 23 | [Illustration] 24 | 25 | Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland 26 | 27 | by Lewis Carroll 28 | 29 | THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0 30 | 31 | Contents 32 | 33 | CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole 34 | CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears 35 | CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 36 | CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 37 | CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar 38 | CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper 39 | CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party 40 | CHAPTER VIII. The Queen’s Croquet-Ground 41 | CHAPTER IX. The Mock Turtle’s Story 42 | CHAPTER X. The Lobster Quadrille 43 | CHAPTER XI. Who Stole the Tarts? 44 | CHAPTER XII. Alice’s Evidence 45 | 46 | CHAPTER I. 47 | Down the Rabbit-Hole 48 | 49 | Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the 50 | bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into 51 | the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or 52 | conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice 53 | “without pictures or conversations?” 54 | 55 | So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the 56 | hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of 57 | making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and 58 | picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran 59 | close by her. 60 | 61 | There was nothing so _very_ remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it 62 | so _very_ much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, “Oh 63 | dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!” (when she thought it over afterwards, 64 | it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the 65 | time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually _took a 66 | watch out of its waistcoat-pocket_, and looked at it, and then hurried 67 | on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she 68 | had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a 69 | watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the 70 | field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a 71 | large rabbit-hole under the hedge. 72 | 73 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how 74 | in the world she was to get out again. 75 | 76 | The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then 77 | dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think 78 | about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very 79 | deep well. 80 | 81 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had 82 | plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what 83 | was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out 84 | what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she 85 | looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with 86 | cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures 87 | hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she 88 | passed; it was labelled “ORANGE MARMALADE”, but to her great 89 | disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear 90 | of killing somebody underneath, so managed to put it into one of the 91 | cupboards as she fell past it. 92 | 93 | “Well!” thought Alice to herself, “after such a fall as this, I shall 94 | think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they’ll all think me 95 | at home! Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it, even if I fell off the 96 | top of the house!” (Which was very likely true.) 97 | 98 | Down, down, down. Would the fall _never_ come to an end? “I wonder how 99 | many miles I’ve fallen by this time?” she said aloud. “I must be 100 | getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would 101 | be four thousand miles down, I think—” (for, you see, Alice had learnt 102 | several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and 103 | though this was not a _very_ good opportunity for showing off her 104 | knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good 105 | practice to say it over) “—yes, that’s about the right distance—but 106 | then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I’ve got to?” (Alice had no 107 | idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice 108 | grand words to say.) 109 | 110 | Presently she began again. “I wonder if I shall fall right _through_ 111 | the earth! How funny it’ll seem to come out among the people that walk 112 | with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think—” (she was rather 113 | glad there _was_ no one listening, this time, as it didn’t sound at all 114 | the right word) “—but I shall have to ask them what the name of the 115 | country is, you know. Please, Ma’am, is this New Zealand or Australia?” 116 | (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke—fancy _curtseying_ as you’re 117 | falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) “And what 118 | an ignorant little girl she’ll think me for asking! No, it’ll never do 119 | to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.” 120 | 121 | Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began 122 | talking again. “Dinah’ll miss me very much to-night, I should think!” 123 | (Dinah was the cat.) “I hope they’ll remember her saucer of milk at 124 | tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are 125 | no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that’s 126 | very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?” And here 127 | Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a 128 | dreamy sort of way, “Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?” and 129 | sometimes, “Do bats eat cats?” for, you see, as she couldn’t answer 130 | either question, it didn’t much matter which way she put it. She felt 131 | that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was 132 | walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 133 | “Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?” when suddenly, 134 | thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and 135 | the fall was over. 136 | 137 | Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: 138 | she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another 139 | long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down 140 | it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, 141 | and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, “Oh my ears 142 | and whiskers, how late it’s getting!” She was close behind it when she 143 | turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found 144 | herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging 145 | from the roof. 146 | 147 | There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when 148 | Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every 149 | door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to 150 | get out again. 151 | 152 | Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid 153 | glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice’s 154 | first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; 155 | but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, 156 | but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second 157 | time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and 158 | behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the 159 | little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! 160 | 161 | Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not 162 | much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the 163 | passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get 164 | out of that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright 165 | flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head 166 | through the doorway; “and even if my head would go through,” thought 167 | poor Alice, “it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, 168 | how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only 169 | knew how to begin.” For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had 170 | happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things 171 | indeed were really impossible. 172 | 173 | There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went 174 | back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at 175 | any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this 176 | time she found a little bottle on it, (“which certainly was not here 177 | before,” said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper 178 | label, with the words “DRINK ME,” beautifully printed on it in large 179 | letters. 180 | 181 | It was all very well to say “Drink me,” but the wise little Alice was 182 | not going to do _that_ in a hurry. “No, I’ll look first,” she said, 183 | “and see whether it’s marked ‘_poison_’ or not”; for she had read 184 | several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and 185 | eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they 186 | _would_ not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: 187 | such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; 188 | and that if you cut your finger _very_ deeply with a knife, it usually 189 | bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a 190 | bottle marked “poison,” it is almost certain to disagree with you, 191 | sooner or later. 192 | 193 | However, this bottle was _not_ marked “poison,” so Alice ventured to 194 | taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed 195 | flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and 196 | hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off. 197 | 198 | --- 199 | 200 | * * * * * * 201 | 202 | --- 203 | 204 | “What a curious feeling!” said Alice; “I must be shutting up like a 205 | telescope.” 206 | 207 | And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face 208 | brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going 209 | through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she 210 | waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: 211 | she felt a little nervous about this; “for it might end, you know,” 212 | said Alice to herself, “in my going out altogether, like a candle. I 213 | wonder what I should be like then?” And she tried to fancy what the 214 | flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could 215 | not remember ever having seen such a thing. 216 | 217 | After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going 218 | into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the 219 | door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she 220 | went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach 221 | it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her 222 | best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; 223 | and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing 224 | sat down and cried. 225 | 226 | “Come, there’s no use in crying like that!” said Alice to herself, 227 | rather sharply; “I advise you to leave off this minute!” She generally 228 | gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), 229 | and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into 230 | her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having 231 | cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, 232 | for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 233 | “But it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, “to pretend to be two 234 | people! Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make _one_ respectable 235 | person!” 236 | 237 | Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: 238 | she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 239 | “EAT ME” were beautifully marked in currants. “Well, I’ll eat it,” said 240 | Alice, “and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it 241 | makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I’ll 242 | get into the garden, and I don’t care which happens!” 243 | 244 | She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, “Which way? Which 245 | way?”, holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was 246 | growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same 247 | size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice 248 | had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way 249 | things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go 250 | on in the common way. 251 | 252 | So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. 253 | 254 | --- 255 | 256 | * * * * * * 257 | 258 | --- 259 | 260 | CHAPTER II. 261 | The Pool of Tears 262 | 263 | “Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that 264 | for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); “now I’m 265 | opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!” 266 | (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of 267 | sight, they were getting so far off). “Oh, my poor little feet, I 268 | wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I’m 269 | sure _I_ shan’t be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble 270 | myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;—but I must be 271 | kind to them,” thought Alice, “or perhaps they won’t walk the way I 272 | want to go! Let me see: I’ll give them a new pair of boots every 273 | Christmas.” 274 | 275 | And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. “They must 276 | go by the carrier,” she thought; “and how funny it’ll seem, sending 277 | presents to one’s own feet! And how odd the directions will look! 278 | 279 | _Alice’s Right Foot, Esq., Hearthrug, near the Fender,_ (_with 280 | Alice’s love_). 281 | 282 | Oh dear, what nonsense I’m talking!” 283 | 284 | Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was 285 | now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden 286 | key and hurried off to the garden door. 287 | 288 | Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to 289 | look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more 290 | hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. 291 | 292 | “You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said Alice, “a great girl like 293 | you,” (she might well say this), “to go on crying in this way! Stop 294 | this moment, I tell you!” But she went on all the same, shedding 295 | gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about 296 | four inches deep and reaching half down the hall. 297 | 298 | After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and 299 | she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White 300 | Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves 301 | in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a 302 | great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, “Oh! the Duchess, the 303 | Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting!” Alice felt 304 | so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the 305 | Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, “If you please, 306 | sir—” The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and 307 | the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. 308 | 309 | Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she 310 | kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: “Dear, dear! How 311 | queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. 312 | I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the 313 | same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling 314 | a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who 315 | in the world am I? Ah, _that’s_ the great puzzle!” And she began 316 | thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as 317 | herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them. 318 | 319 | “I’m sure I’m not Ada,” she said, “for her hair goes in such long 320 | ringlets, and mine doesn’t go in ringlets at all; and I’m sure I can’t 321 | be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a 322 | very little! Besides, _she’s_ she, and _I’m_ I, and—oh dear, how 323 | puzzling it all is! I’ll try if I know all the things I used to know. 324 | Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, 325 | and four times seven is—oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that 326 | rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn’t signify: let’s try 327 | Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of 328 | Rome, and Rome—no, _that’s_ all wrong, I’m certain! I must have been 329 | changed for Mabel! I’ll try and say ‘_How doth the little_—’” and she 330 | crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began 331 | to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words 332 | did not come the same as they used to do:— 333 | 334 | “How doth the little crocodile 335 | Improve his shining tail, 336 | And pour the waters of the Nile 337 | On every golden scale! 338 | 339 | “How cheerfully he seems to grin, 340 | How neatly spread his claws, 341 | And welcome little fishes in 342 | With gently smiling jaws!” 343 | 344 | “I’m sure those are not the right words,” said poor Alice, and her eyes 345 | filled with tears again as she went on, “I must be Mabel after all, and 346 | I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to 347 | no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I’ve 348 | made up my mind about it; if I’m Mabel, I’ll stay down here! It’ll be 349 | no use their putting their heads down and saying ‘Come up again, dear!’ 350 | I shall only look up and say ‘Who am I then? Tell me that first, and 351 | then, if I like being that person, I’ll come up: if not, I’ll stay down 352 | here till I’m somebody else’—but, oh dear!” cried Alice, with a sudden 353 | burst of tears, “I do wish they _would_ put their heads down! I am so 354 | _very_ tired of being all alone here!” 355 | 356 | As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see 357 | that she had put on one of the Rabbit’s little white kid gloves while 358 | she was talking. “How _can_ I have done that?” she thought. “I must be 359 | growing small again.” She got up and went to the table to measure 360 | herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was 361 | now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon 362 | found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she 363 | dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 364 | 365 | “That _was_ a narrow escape!” said Alice, a good deal frightened at the 366 | sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; “and 367 | now for the garden!” and she ran with all speed back to the little 368 | door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden 369 | key was lying on the glass table as before, “and things are worse than 370 | ever,” thought the poor child, “for I never was so small as this 371 | before, never! And I declare it’s too bad, that it is!” 372 | 373 | As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, 374 | splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that 375 | she had somehow fallen into the sea, “and in that case I can go back by 376 | railway,” she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in 377 | her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go 378 | to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the 379 | sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row 380 | of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she 381 | soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when 382 | she was nine feet high. 383 | 384 | “I wish I hadn’t cried so much!” said Alice, as she swam about, trying 385 | to find her way out. “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by 386 | being drowned in my own tears! That _will_ be a queer thing, to be 387 | sure! However, everything is queer to-day.” 388 | 389 | Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way 390 | off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought 391 | it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small 392 | she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had 393 | slipped in like herself. 394 | 395 | “Would it be of any use, now,” thought Alice, “to speak to this mouse? 396 | Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very 397 | likely it can talk: at any rate, there’s no harm in trying.” So she 398 | began: “O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired 399 | of swimming about here, O Mouse!” (Alice thought this must be the right 400 | way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but 401 | she remembered having seen in her brother’s Latin Grammar, “A mouse—of 402 | a mouse—to a mouse—a mouse—O mouse!”) The Mouse looked at her rather 403 | inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, 404 | but it said nothing. 405 | 406 | “Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,” thought Alice; “I daresay it’s 407 | a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.” (For, with all 408 | her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago 409 | anything had happened.) So she began again: “Où est ma chatte?” which 410 | was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a 411 | sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with 412 | fright. “Oh, I beg your pardon!” cried Alice hastily, afraid that she 413 | had hurt the poor animal’s feelings. “I quite forgot you didn’t like 414 | cats.” 415 | 416 | “Not like cats!” cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. “Would 417 | _you_ like cats if you were me?” 418 | 419 | “Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a soothing tone: “don’t be angry 420 | about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you’d 421 | take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear 422 | quiet thing,” Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about 423 | in the pool, “and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her 424 | paws and washing her face—and she is such a nice soft thing to 425 | nurse—and she’s such a capital one for catching mice—oh, I beg your 426 | pardon!” cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all 427 | over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. “We won’t talk 428 | about her any more if you’d rather not.” 429 | 430 | “We indeed!” cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his 431 | tail. “As if _I_ would talk on such a subject! Our family always 432 | _hated_ cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don’t let me hear the name 433 | again!” 434 | 435 | “I won’t indeed!” said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of 436 | conversation. “Are you—are you fond—of—of dogs?” The Mouse did not 437 | answer, so Alice went on eagerly: “There is such a nice little dog near 438 | our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you 439 | know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it’ll fetch things when 440 | you throw them, and it’ll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts 441 | of things—I can’t remember half of them—and it belongs to a farmer, you 442 | know, and he says it’s so useful, it’s worth a hundred pounds! He says 443 | it kills all the rats and—oh dear!” cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, 444 | “I’m afraid I’ve offended it again!” For the Mouse was swimming away 445 | from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in the 446 | pool as it went. 447 | 448 | So she called softly after it, “Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we 449 | won’t talk about cats or dogs either, if you don’t like them!” When the 450 | Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face 451 | was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low 452 | trembling voice, “Let us get to the shore, and then I’ll tell you my 453 | history, and you’ll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.” 454 | 455 | It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the 456 | birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a 457 | Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice 458 | led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore. 459 | 460 | CHAPTER III. 461 | A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 462 | 463 | They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank—the 464 | birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close 465 | to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. 466 | 467 | The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a 468 | consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite 469 | natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if 470 | she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument 471 | with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, “I am 472 | older than you, and must know better;” and this Alice would not allow 473 | without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to 474 | tell its age, there was no more to be said. 475 | 476 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, 477 | called out, “Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! _I’ll_ soon make 478 | you dry enough!” They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the 479 | Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she 480 | felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. 481 | 482 | “Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air, “are you all ready? This 483 | is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! ‘William 484 | the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted 485 | to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much 486 | accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of 487 | Mercia and Northumbria—’” 488 | 489 | “Ugh!” said the Lory, with a shiver. 490 | 491 | “I beg your pardon!” said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: “Did 492 | you speak?” 493 | 494 | “Not I!” said the Lory hastily. 495 | 496 | “I thought you did,” said the Mouse. “—I proceed. ‘Edwin and Morcar, 497 | the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even 498 | Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable—’” 499 | 500 | “Found _what_?” said the Duck. 501 | 502 | “Found _it_,” the Mouse replied rather crossly: “of course you know 503 | what ‘it’ means.” 504 | 505 | “I know what ‘it’ means well enough, when _I_ find a thing,” said the 506 | Duck: “it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the 507 | archbishop find?” 508 | 509 | The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, “‘—found 510 | it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him 511 | the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence 512 | of his Normans—’ How are you getting on now, my dear?” it continued, 513 | turning to Alice as it spoke. 514 | 515 | “As wet as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy tone: “it doesn’t seem to 516 | dry me at all.” 517 | 518 | “In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, “I move 519 | that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic 520 | remedies—” 521 | 522 | “Speak English!” said the Eaglet. “I don’t know the meaning of half 523 | those long words, and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!” And 524 | the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds 525 | tittered audibly. 526 | 527 | “What I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone, “was, 528 | that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.” 529 | 530 | “What _is_ a Caucus-race?” said Alice; not that she wanted much to 531 | know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that _somebody_ ought to 532 | speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 533 | 534 | “Why,” said the Dodo, “the best way to explain it is to do it.” (And, 535 | as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will 536 | tell you how the Dodo managed it.) 537 | 538 | First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (“the exact 539 | shape doesn’t matter,” it said,) and then all the party were placed 540 | along the course, here and there. There was no “One, two, three, and 541 | away,” but they began running when they liked, and left off when they 542 | liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, 543 | when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry 544 | again, the Dodo suddenly called out “The race is over!” and they all 545 | crowded round it, panting, and asking, “But who has won?” 546 | 547 | This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of 548 | thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its 549 | forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the 550 | pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo 551 | said, “_Everybody_ has won, and all must have prizes.” 552 | 553 | “But who is to give the prizes?” quite a chorus of voices asked. 554 | 555 | “Why, _she_, of course,” said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one 556 | finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a 557 | confused way, “Prizes! Prizes!” 558 | 559 | Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her 560 | pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had 561 | not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly 562 | one a-piece, all round. 563 | 564 | “But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse. 565 | 566 | “Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. “What else have you got in 567 | your pocket?” he went on, turning to Alice. 568 | 569 | “Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly. 570 | 571 | “Hand it over here,” said the Dodo. 572 | 573 | Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly 574 | presented the thimble, saying “We beg your acceptance of this elegant 575 | thimble;” and, when it had finished this short speech, they all 576 | cheered. 577 | 578 | Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave 579 | that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything 580 | to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as 581 | she could. 582 | 583 | The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and 584 | confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste 585 | theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. 586 | However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and 587 | begged the Mouse to tell them something more. 588 | 589 | “You promised to tell me your history, you know,” said Alice, “and why 590 | it is you hate—C and D,” she added in a whisper, half afraid that it 591 | would be offended again. 592 | 593 | “Mine is a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and 594 | sighing. 595 | 596 | “It _is_ a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, looking down with wonder 597 | at the Mouse’s tail; “but why do you call it sad?” And she kept on 598 | puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the 599 | tale was something like this:— 600 | 601 | “Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, ‘Let us both 602 | go to law: _I_ will prosecute _you_.—Come, I’ll take no 603 | denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I’ve 604 | nothing to do.’ Said the mouse to the cur, ‘Such a trial, dear 605 | sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath.’ 606 | ‘I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury,’ Said cunning old Fury: ‘I’ll 607 | try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.’” 608 | 609 | “You are not attending!” said the Mouse to Alice severely. “What are 610 | you thinking of?” 611 | 612 | “I beg your pardon,” said Alice very humbly: “you had got to the fifth 613 | bend, I think?” 614 | 615 | “I had _not!_” cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. 616 | 617 | “A knot!” said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking 618 | anxiously about her. “Oh, do let me help to undo it!” 619 | 620 | “I shall do nothing of the sort,” said the Mouse, getting up and 621 | walking away. “You insult me by talking such nonsense!” 622 | 623 | “I didn’t mean it!” pleaded poor Alice. “But you’re so easily offended, 624 | you know!” 625 | 626 | The Mouse only growled in reply. 627 | 628 | “Please come back and finish your story!” Alice called after it; and 629 | the others all joined in chorus, “Yes, please do!” but the Mouse only 630 | shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker. 631 | 632 | “What a pity it wouldn’t stay!” sighed the Lory, as soon as it was 633 | quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to 634 | her daughter “Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose 635 | _your_ temper!” “Hold your tongue, Ma!” said the young Crab, a little 636 | snappishly. “You’re enough to try the patience of an oyster!” 637 | 638 | “I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!” said Alice aloud, 639 | addressing nobody in particular. “She’d soon fetch it back!” 640 | 641 | “And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?” said the 642 | Lory. 643 | 644 | Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: 645 | “Dinah’s our cat. And she’s such a capital one for catching mice you 646 | can’t think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, 647 | she’ll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!” 648 | 649 | This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the 650 | birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very 651 | carefully, remarking, “I really must be getting home; the night-air 652 | doesn’t suit my throat!” and a Canary called out in a trembling voice 653 | to its children, “Come away, my dears! It’s high time you were all in 654 | bed!” On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left 655 | alone. 656 | 657 | “I wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!” she said to herself in a melancholy 658 | tone. “Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I’m sure she’s the best 659 | cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you 660 | any more!” And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very 661 | lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a 662 | little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up 663 | eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was 664 | coming back to finish his story. 665 | 666 | CHAPTER IV. 667 | The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 668 | 669 | It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking 670 | anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard 671 | it muttering to itself “The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh 672 | my fur and whiskers! She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are 673 | ferrets! Where _can_ I have dropped them, I wonder?” Alice guessed in a 674 | moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid 675 | gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but 676 | they were nowhere to be seen—everything seemed to have changed since 677 | her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the 678 | little door, had vanished completely. 679 | 680 | Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and 681 | called out to her in an angry tone, “Why, Mary Ann, what _are_ you 682 | doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and 683 | a fan! Quick, now!” And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off 684 | at once in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the 685 | mistake it had made. 686 | 687 | “He took me for his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran. “How 688 | surprised he’ll be when he finds out who I am! But I’d better take him 689 | his fan and gloves—that is, if I can find them.” As she said this, she 690 | came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass 691 | plate with the name “W. RABBIT,” engraved upon it. She went in without 692 | knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the 693 | real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the 694 | fan and gloves. 695 | 696 | “How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself, “to be going messages for 697 | a rabbit! I suppose Dinah’ll be sending me on messages next!” And she 698 | began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: “‘Miss Alice! Come 699 | here directly, and get ready for your walk!’ ‘Coming in a minute, 700 | nurse! But I’ve got to see that the mouse doesn’t get out.’ Only I 701 | don’t think,” Alice went on, “that they’d let Dinah stop in the house 702 | if it began ordering people about like that!” 703 | 704 | By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table 705 | in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three 706 | pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the 707 | gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a 708 | little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label 709 | this time with the words “DRINK ME,” but nevertheless she uncorked it 710 | and put it to her lips. “I know _something_ interesting is sure to 711 | happen,” she said to herself, “whenever I eat or drink anything; so 712 | I’ll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it’ll make me grow large 713 | again, for really I’m quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!” 714 | 715 | It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had 716 | drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, 717 | and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put 718 | down the bottle, saying to herself “That’s quite enough—I hope I shan’t 719 | grow any more—As it is, I can’t get out at the door—I do wish I hadn’t 720 | drunk quite so much!” 721 | 722 | Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, 723 | and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there 724 | was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with 725 | one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. 726 | Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out 727 | of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself “Now I 728 | can do no more, whatever happens. What _will_ become of me?” 729 | 730 | Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, 731 | and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there 732 | seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room 733 | again, no wonder she felt unhappy. 734 | 735 | “It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t 736 | always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and 737 | rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down that rabbit-hole—and yet—and 738 | yet—it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what 739 | _can_ have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied 740 | that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of 741 | one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And 742 | when I grow up, I’ll write one—but I’m grown up now,” she added in a 743 | sorrowful tone; “at least there’s no room to grow up any more _here_.” 744 | 745 | “But then,” thought Alice, “shall I _never_ get any older than I am 746 | now? That’ll be a comfort, one way—never to be an old woman—but 747 | then—always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn’t like _that!_” 748 | 749 | “Oh, you foolish Alice!” she answered herself. “How can you learn 750 | lessons in here? Why, there’s hardly room for _you_, and no room at all 751 | for any lesson-books!” 752 | 753 | And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and 754 | making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes 755 | she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 756 | 757 | “Mary Ann! Mary Ann!” said the voice. “Fetch me my gloves this moment!” 758 | Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was 759 | the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the 760 | house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as 761 | large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. 762 | 763 | Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as 764 | the door opened inwards, and Alice’s elbow was pressed hard against it, 765 | that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself “Then I’ll 766 | go round and get in at the window.” 767 | 768 | “_That_ you won’t!” thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied 769 | she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her 770 | hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, 771 | but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, 772 | from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a 773 | cucumber-frame, or something of the sort. 774 | 775 | Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit’s—“Pat! Pat! Where are you?” And 776 | then a voice she had never heard before, “Sure then I’m here! Digging 777 | for apples, yer honour!” 778 | 779 | “Digging for apples, indeed!” said the Rabbit angrily. “Here! Come and 780 | help me out of _this!_” (Sounds of more broken glass.) 781 | 782 | “Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window?” 783 | 784 | “Sure, it’s an arm, yer honour!” (He pronounced it “arrum.”) 785 | 786 | “An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole 787 | window!” 788 | 789 | “Sure, it does, yer honour: but it’s an arm for all that.” 790 | 791 | “Well, it’s got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!” 792 | 793 | There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers 794 | now and then; such as, “Sure, I don’t like it, yer honour, at all, at 795 | all!” “Do as I tell you, you coward!” and at last she spread out her 796 | hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were 797 | _two_ little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. “What a number 798 | of cucumber-frames there must be!” thought Alice. “I wonder what 799 | they’ll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they 800 | _could!_ I’m sure _I_ don’t want to stay in here any longer!” 801 | 802 | She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a 803 | rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices all 804 | talking together: she made out the words: “Where’s the other 805 | ladder?—Why, I hadn’t to bring but one; Bill’s got the other—Bill! 806 | fetch it here, lad!—Here, put ’em up at this corner—No, tie ’em 807 | together first—they don’t reach half high enough yet—Oh! they’ll do 808 | well enough; don’t be particular—Here, Bill! catch hold of this 809 | rope—Will the roof bear?—Mind that loose slate—Oh, it’s coming down! 810 | Heads below!” (a loud crash)—“Now, who did that?—It was Bill, I 811 | fancy—Who’s to go down the chimney?—Nay, _I_ shan’t! _You_ do 812 | it!—_That_ I won’t, then!—Bill’s to go down—Here, Bill! the master says 813 | you’re to go down the chimney!” 814 | 815 | “Oh! So Bill’s got to come down the chimney, has he?” said Alice to 816 | herself. “Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn’t be in 817 | Bill’s place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but 818 | I _think_ I can kick a little!” 819 | 820 | She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till 821 | she heard a little animal (she couldn’t guess of what sort it was) 822 | scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, 823 | saying to herself “This is Bill,” she gave one sharp kick, and waited 824 | to see what would happen next. 825 | 826 | The first thing she heard was a general chorus of “There goes Bill!” 827 | then the Rabbit’s voice along—“Catch him, you by the hedge!” then 828 | silence, and then another confusion of voices—“Hold up his head—Brandy 829 | now—Don’t choke him—How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell 830 | us all about it!” 831 | 832 | Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (“That’s Bill,” thought 833 | Alice,) “Well, I hardly know—No more, thank ye; I’m better now—but I’m 834 | a deal too flustered to tell you—all I know is, something comes at me 835 | like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!” 836 | 837 | “So you did, old fellow!” said the others. 838 | 839 | “We must burn the house down!” said the Rabbit’s voice; and Alice 840 | called out as loud as she could, “If you do, I’ll set Dinah at you!” 841 | 842 | There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, “I 843 | wonder what they _will_ do next! If they had any sense, they’d take the 844 | roof off.” After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and 845 | Alice heard the Rabbit say, “A barrowful will do, to begin with.” 846 | 847 | “A barrowful of _what?_” thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, 848 | for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the 849 | window, and some of them hit her in the face. “I’ll put a stop to 850 | this,” she said to herself, and shouted out, “You’d better not do that 851 | again!” which produced another dead silence. 852 | 853 | Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into 854 | little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her 855 | head. “If I eat one of these cakes,” she thought, “it’s sure to make 856 | _some_ change in my size; and as it can’t possibly make me larger, it 857 | must make me smaller, I suppose.” 858 | 859 | So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she 860 | began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get 861 | through the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of 862 | little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, 863 | was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it 864 | something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she 865 | appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself 866 | safe in a thick wood. 867 | 868 | “The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Alice to herself, as she 869 | wandered about in the wood, “is to grow to my right size again; and the 870 | second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that 871 | will be the best plan.” 872 | 873 | It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply 874 | arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea 875 | how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among 876 | the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a 877 | great hurry. 878 | 879 | An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and 880 | feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. “Poor little 881 | thing!” said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to 882 | it; but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it 883 | might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in 884 | spite of all her coaxing. 885 | 886 | Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and 887 | held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off 888 | all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, 889 | and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, 890 | to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the 891 | other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head 892 | over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was 893 | very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 894 | moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then 895 | the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very 896 | little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely 897 | all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with 898 | its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. 899 | 900 | This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she 901 | set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, 902 | and till the puppy’s bark sounded quite faint in the distance. 903 | 904 | “And yet what a dear little puppy it was!” said Alice, as she leant 905 | against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the 906 | leaves: “I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if—if I’d 907 | only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I’d nearly forgotten that 908 | I’ve got to grow up again! Let me see—how _is_ it to be managed? I 909 | suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great 910 | question is, what?” 911 | 912 | The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at 913 | the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that 914 | looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. 915 | There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as 916 | herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and 917 | behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what 918 | was on the top of it. 919 | 920 | She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the 921 | mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue 922 | caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly 923 | smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of 924 | anything else. 925 | 926 | CHAPTER V. 927 | Advice from a Caterpillar 928 | 929 | The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in 930 | silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and 931 | addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 932 | 933 | “Who are _you?_” said the Caterpillar. 934 | 935 | This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, 936 | rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know 937 | who I _was_ when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been 938 | changed several times since then.” 939 | 940 | “What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar sternly. “Explain 941 | yourself!” 942 | 943 | “I can’t explain _myself_, I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice, “because I’m 944 | not myself, you see.” 945 | 946 | “I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar. 947 | 948 | “I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly,” Alice replied very politely, 949 | “for I can’t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many 950 | different sizes in a day is very confusing.” 951 | 952 | “It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar. 953 | 954 | “Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said Alice; “but when you 955 | have to turn into a chrysalis—you will some day, you know—and then 956 | after that into a butterfly, I should think you’ll feel it a little 957 | queer, won’t you?” 958 | 959 | “Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar. 960 | 961 | “Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,” said Alice; “all I know 962 | is, it would feel very queer to _me_.” 963 | 964 | “You!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously. “Who are _you?_” 965 | 966 | Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. 967 | Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar’s making such _very_ 968 | short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, “I 969 | think, you ought to tell me who _you_ are, first.” 970 | 971 | “Why?” said the Caterpillar. 972 | 973 | Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any 974 | good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a _very_ unpleasant 975 | state of mind, she turned away. 976 | 977 | “Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her. “I’ve something 978 | important to say!” 979 | 980 | This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. 981 | 982 | “Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar. 983 | 984 | “Is that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she 985 | could. 986 | 987 | “No,” said the Caterpillar. 988 | 989 | Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, 990 | and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For 991 | some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded 992 | its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, “So you 993 | think you’re changed, do you?” 994 | 995 | “I’m afraid I am, sir,” said Alice; “I can’t remember things as I 996 | used—and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together!” 997 | 998 | “Can’t remember _what_ things?” said the Caterpillar. 999 | 1000 | “Well, I’ve tried to say “How doth the little busy bee,” but it all 1001 | came different!” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 1002 | 1003 | “Repeat, “_You are old, Father William_,’” said the Caterpillar. 1004 | 1005 | Alice folded her hands, and began:— 1006 | 1007 | “You are old, Father William,” the young man said, 1008 | “And your hair has become very white; 1009 | And yet you incessantly stand on your head— 1010 | Do you think, at your age, it is right?” 1011 | 1012 | “In my youth,” Father William replied to his son, 1013 | “I feared it might injure the brain; 1014 | But, now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, 1015 | Why, I do it again and again.” 1016 | 1017 | “You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before, 1018 | And have grown most uncommonly fat; 1019 | Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door— 1020 | Pray, what is the reason of that?” 1021 | 1022 | “In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1023 | “I kept all my limbs very supple 1024 | By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box— 1025 | Allow me to sell you a couple?” 1026 | 1027 | “You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak 1028 | For anything tougher than suet; 1029 | Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak— 1030 | Pray, how did you manage to do it?” 1031 | 1032 | “In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law, 1033 | And argued each case with my wife; 1034 | And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 1035 | Has lasted the rest of my life.” 1036 | 1037 | “You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose 1038 | That your eye was as steady as ever; 1039 | Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose— 1040 | What made you so awfully clever?” 1041 | 1042 | “I have answered three questions, and that is enough,” 1043 | Said his father; “don’t give yourself airs! 1044 | Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 1045 | Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!” 1046 | 1047 | “That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar. 1048 | 1049 | “Not _quite_ right, I’m afraid,” said Alice, timidly; “some of the 1050 | words have got altered.” 1051 | 1052 | “It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the Caterpillar decidedly, 1053 | and there was silence for some minutes. 1054 | 1055 | The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 1056 | 1057 | “What size do you want to be?” it asked. 1058 | 1059 | “Oh, I’m not particular as to size,” Alice hastily replied; “only one 1060 | doesn’t like changing so often, you know.” 1061 | 1062 | “I _don’t_ know,” said the Caterpillar. 1063 | 1064 | Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life 1065 | before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. 1066 | 1067 | “Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar. 1068 | 1069 | “Well, I should like to be a _little_ larger, sir, if you wouldn’t 1070 | mind,” said Alice: “three inches is such a wretched height to be.” 1071 | 1072 | “It is a very good height indeed!” said the Caterpillar angrily, 1073 | rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). 1074 | 1075 | “But I’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she 1076 | thought of herself, “I wish the creatures wouldn’t be so easily 1077 | offended!” 1078 | 1079 | “You’ll get used to it in time,” said the Caterpillar; and it put the 1080 | hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. 1081 | 1082 | This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a 1083 | minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and 1084 | yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the 1085 | mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, 1086 | “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you 1087 | grow shorter.” 1088 | 1089 | “One side of _what?_ The other side of _what?_” thought Alice to 1090 | herself. 1091 | 1092 | “Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it 1093 | aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. 1094 | 1095 | Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, 1096 | trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was 1097 | perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at 1098 | last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke 1099 | off a bit of the edge with each hand. 1100 | 1101 | “And now which is which?” she said to herself, and nibbled a little of 1102 | the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a 1103 | violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! 1104 | 1105 | She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt 1106 | that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she 1107 | set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed 1108 | so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her 1109 | mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the 1110 | lefthand bit. 1111 | 1112 | --- 1113 | 1114 | * * * * * * 1115 | 1116 | --- 1117 | 1118 | “Come, my head’s free at last!” said Alice in a tone of delight, which 1119 | changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders 1120 | were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was 1121 | an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a 1122 | sea of green leaves that lay far below her. 1123 | 1124 | “What _can_ all that green stuff be?” said Alice. “And where _have_ my 1125 | shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see you?” 1126 | She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, 1127 | except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. 1128 | 1129 | As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, 1130 | she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that 1131 | her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She 1132 | had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was 1133 | going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but 1134 | the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp 1135 | hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her 1136 | face, and was beating her violently with its wings. 1137 | 1138 | “Serpent!” screamed the Pigeon. 1139 | 1140 | “I’m _not_ a serpent!” said Alice indignantly. “Let me alone!” 1141 | 1142 | “Serpent, I say again!” repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued 1143 | tone, and added with a kind of sob, “I’ve tried every way, and nothing 1144 | seems to suit them!” 1145 | 1146 | “I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking about,” said Alice. 1147 | 1148 | “I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried 1149 | hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; “but those 1150 | serpents! There’s no pleasing them!” 1151 | 1152 | Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in 1153 | saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. 1154 | 1155 | “As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,” said the Pigeon; 1156 | “but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I 1157 | haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!” 1158 | 1159 | “I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice, who was beginning to 1160 | see its meaning. 1161 | 1162 | “And just as I’d taken the highest tree in the wood,” continued the 1163 | Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, “and just as I was thinking I 1164 | should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down 1165 | from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!” 1166 | 1167 | “But I’m _not_ a serpent, I tell you!” said Alice. “I’m a—I’m a—” 1168 | 1169 | “Well! _What_ are you?” said the Pigeon. “I can see you’re trying to 1170 | invent something!” 1171 | 1172 | “I—I’m a little girl,” said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered 1173 | the number of changes she had gone through that day. 1174 | 1175 | “A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest 1176 | contempt. “I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never 1177 | _one_ with such a neck as that! No, no! You’re a serpent; and there’s 1178 | no use denying it. I suppose you’ll be telling me next that you never 1179 | tasted an egg!” 1180 | 1181 | “I _have_ tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice, who was a very truthful 1182 | child; “but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you 1183 | know.” 1184 | 1185 | “I don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon; “but if they do, why then 1186 | they’re a kind of serpent, that’s all I can say.” 1187 | 1188 | This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a 1189 | minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, “You’re 1190 | looking for eggs, I know _that_ well enough; and what does it matter to 1191 | me whether you’re a little girl or a serpent?” 1192 | 1193 | “It matters a good deal to _me_,” said Alice hastily; “but I’m not 1194 | looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn’t want 1195 | _yours_: I don’t like them raw.” 1196 | 1197 | “Well, be off, then!” said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled 1198 | down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well 1199 | as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, 1200 | and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while 1201 | she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, 1202 | and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at 1203 | the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until 1204 | she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. 1205 | 1206 | It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it 1207 | felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, 1208 | and began talking to herself, as usual. “Come, there’s half my plan 1209 | done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m 1210 | going to be, from one minute to another! However, I’ve got back to my 1211 | right size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden—how 1212 | _is_ that to be done, I wonder?” As she said this, she came suddenly 1213 | upon an open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 1214 | “Whoever lives there,” thought Alice, “it’ll never do to come upon them 1215 | _this_ size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!” So she 1216 | began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go 1217 | near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high. 1218 | 1219 | CHAPTER VI. 1220 | Pig and Pepper 1221 | 1222 | For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what 1223 | to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the 1224 | wood—(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: 1225 | otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a 1226 | fish)—and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened by 1227 | another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a 1228 | frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled 1229 | all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all 1230 | about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. 1231 | 1232 | The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, 1233 | nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, 1234 | saying, in a solemn tone, “For the Duchess. An invitation from the 1235 | Queen to play croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn 1236 | tone, only changing the order of the words a little, “From the Queen. 1237 | An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.” 1238 | 1239 | Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. 1240 | 1241 | Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood 1242 | for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the 1243 | Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the 1244 | door, staring stupidly up into the sky. 1245 | 1246 | Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 1247 | 1248 | “There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and that for 1249 | two reasons. First, because I’m on the same side of the door as you 1250 | are; secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside, no one could 1251 | possibly hear you.” And certainly there _was_ a most extraordinary 1252 | noise going on within—a constant howling and sneezing, and every now 1253 | and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to 1254 | pieces. 1255 | 1256 | “Please, then,” said Alice, “how am I to get in?” 1257 | 1258 | “There might be some sense in your knocking,” the Footman went on 1259 | without attending to her, “if we had the door between us. For instance, 1260 | if you were _inside_, you might knock, and I could let you out, you 1261 | know.” He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and 1262 | this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. “But perhaps he can’t help it,” 1263 | she said to herself; “his eyes are so _very_ nearly at the top of his 1264 | head. But at any rate he might answer questions.—How am I to get in?” 1265 | she repeated, aloud. 1266 | 1267 | “I shall sit here,” the Footman remarked, “till tomorrow—” 1268 | 1269 | At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came 1270 | skimming out, straight at the Footman’s head: it just grazed his nose, 1271 | and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. 1272 | 1273 | “—or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly 1274 | as if nothing had happened. 1275 | 1276 | “How am I to get in?” asked Alice again, in a louder tone. 1277 | 1278 | “_Are_ you to get in at all?” said the Footman. “That’s the first 1279 | question, you know.” 1280 | 1281 | It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. “It’s really 1282 | dreadful,” she muttered to herself, “the way all the creatures argue. 1283 | It’s enough to drive one crazy!” 1284 | 1285 | The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his 1286 | remark, with variations. “I shall sit here,” he said, “on and off, for 1287 | days and days.” 1288 | 1289 | “But what am _I_ to do?” said Alice. 1290 | 1291 | “Anything you like,” said the Footman, and began whistling. 1292 | 1293 | “Oh, there’s no use in talking to him,” said Alice desperately: “he’s 1294 | perfectly idiotic!” And she opened the door and went in. 1295 | 1296 | The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from 1297 | one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool 1298 | in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, 1299 | stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. 1300 | 1301 | “There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to 1302 | herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 1303 | 1304 | There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed 1305 | occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling 1306 | alternately without a moment’s pause. The only things in the kitchen 1307 | that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting 1308 | on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. 1309 | 1310 | “Please would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, for she was 1311 | not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, “why 1312 | your cat grins like that?” 1313 | 1314 | “It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “and that’s why. Pig!” 1315 | 1316 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite 1317 | jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the 1318 | baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:— 1319 | 1320 | “I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t 1321 | know that cats _could_ grin.” 1322 | 1323 | “They all can,” said the Duchess; “and most of ’em do.” 1324 | 1325 | “I don’t know of any that do,” Alice said very politely, feeling quite 1326 | pleased to have got into a conversation. 1327 | 1328 | “You don’t know much,” said the Duchess; “and that’s a fact.” 1329 | 1330 | Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would 1331 | be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she 1332 | was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the 1333 | fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at 1334 | the Duchess and the baby—the fire-irons came first; then followed a 1335 | shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of 1336 | them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, 1337 | that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 1338 | 1339 | “Oh, _please_ mind what you’re doing!” cried Alice, jumping up and down 1340 | in an agony of terror. “Oh, there goes his _precious_ nose!” as an 1341 | unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it 1342 | off. 1343 | 1344 | “If everybody minded their own business,” the Duchess said in a hoarse 1345 | growl, “the world would go round a deal faster than it does.” 1346 | 1347 | “Which would _not_ be an advantage,” said Alice, who felt very glad to 1348 | get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. “Just 1349 | think of what work it would make with the day and night! You see the 1350 | earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis—” 1351 | 1352 | “Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “chop off her head!” 1353 | 1354 | Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take 1355 | the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to 1356 | be listening, so she went on again: “Twenty-four hours, I _think_; or 1357 | is it twelve? I—” 1358 | 1359 | “Oh, don’t bother _me_,” said the Duchess; “I never could abide 1360 | figures!” And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a 1361 | sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at 1362 | the end of every line: 1363 | 1364 | “Speak roughly to your little boy, 1365 | And beat him when he sneezes: 1366 | He only does it to annoy, 1367 | Because he knows it teases.” 1368 | 1369 | CHORUS. 1370 | (In which the cook and the baby joined): 1371 | 1372 | “Wow! wow! wow!” 1373 | 1374 | While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing 1375 | the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, 1376 | that Alice could hardly hear the words:— 1377 | 1378 | “I speak severely to my boy, 1379 | I beat him when he sneezes; 1380 | For he can thoroughly enjoy 1381 | The pepper when he pleases!” 1382 | 1383 | CHORUS. 1384 | 1385 | “Wow! wow! wow!” 1386 | 1387 | “Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!” the Duchess said to Alice, 1388 | flinging the baby at her as she spoke. “I must go and get ready to play 1389 | croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried out of the room. The cook 1390 | threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. 1391 | 1392 | Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped 1393 | little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 1394 | “just like a star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor little thing was 1395 | snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling 1396 | itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for 1397 | the first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. 1398 | 1399 | As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to 1400 | twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right 1401 | ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it 1402 | out into the open air. “If I don’t take this child away with me,” 1403 | thought Alice, “they’re sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn’t it be 1404 | murder to leave it behind?” She said the last words out loud, and the 1405 | little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). 1406 | “Don’t grunt,” said Alice; “that’s not at all a proper way of 1407 | expressing yourself.” 1408 | 1409 | The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face 1410 | to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had 1411 | a _very_ turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also 1412 | its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did 1413 | not like the look of the thing at all. “But perhaps it was only 1414 | sobbing,” she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there 1415 | were any tears. 1416 | 1417 | No, there were no tears. “If you’re going to turn into a pig, my dear,” 1418 | said Alice, seriously, “I’ll have nothing more to do with you. Mind 1419 | now!” The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible 1420 | to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. 1421 | 1422 | Alice was just beginning to think to herself, “Now, what am I to do 1423 | with this creature when I get it home?” when it grunted again, so 1424 | violently, that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time 1425 | there could be _no_ mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than 1426 | a pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it 1427 | further. 1428 | 1429 | So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it 1430 | trot away quietly into the wood. “If it had grown up,” she said to 1431 | herself, “it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes 1432 | rather a handsome pig, I think.” And she began thinking over other 1433 | children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying 1434 | to herself, “if one only knew the right way to change them—” when she 1435 | was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of 1436 | a tree a few yards off. 1437 | 1438 | The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she 1439 | thought: still it had _very_ long claws and a great many teeth, so she 1440 | felt that it ought to be treated with respect. 1441 | 1442 | “Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know 1443 | whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little 1444 | wider. “Come, it’s pleased so far,” thought Alice, and she went on. 1445 | “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” 1446 | 1447 | “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. 1448 | 1449 | “I don’t much care where—” said Alice. 1450 | 1451 | “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. 1452 | 1453 | “—so long as I get _somewhere_,” Alice added as an explanation. 1454 | 1455 | “Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long 1456 | enough.” 1457 | 1458 | Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another 1459 | question. “What sort of people live about here?” 1460 | 1461 | “In _that_ direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round, “lives 1462 | a Hatter: and in _that_ direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a 1463 | March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.” 1464 | 1465 | “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked. 1466 | 1467 | “Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. 1468 | You’re mad.” 1469 | 1470 | “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice. 1471 | 1472 | “You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.” 1473 | 1474 | Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on “And how 1475 | do you know that you’re mad?” 1476 | 1477 | “To begin with,” said the Cat, “a dog’s not mad. You grant that?” 1478 | 1479 | “I suppose so,” said Alice. 1480 | 1481 | “Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see, a dog growls when it’s angry, 1482 | and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now _I_ growl when I’m pleased, 1483 | and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.” 1484 | 1485 | “_I_ call it purring, not growling,” said Alice. 1486 | 1487 | “Call it what you like,” said the Cat. “Do you play croquet with the 1488 | Queen to-day?” 1489 | 1490 | “I should like it very much,” said Alice, “but I haven’t been invited 1491 | yet.” 1492 | 1493 | “You’ll see me there,” said the Cat, and vanished. 1494 | 1495 | Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer 1496 | things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, 1497 | it suddenly appeared again. 1498 | 1499 | “By-the-bye, what became of the baby?” said the Cat. “I’d nearly 1500 | forgotten to ask.” 1501 | 1502 | “It turned into a pig,” Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back 1503 | in a natural way. 1504 | 1505 | “I thought it would,” said the Cat, and vanished again. 1506 | 1507 | Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not 1508 | appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in 1509 | which the March Hare was said to live. “I’ve seen hatters before,” she 1510 | said to herself; “the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and 1511 | perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad—at least not so mad as it 1512 | was in March.” As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat 1513 | again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 1514 | 1515 | “Did you say pig, or fig?” said the Cat. 1516 | 1517 | “I said pig,” replied Alice; “and I wish you wouldn’t keep appearing 1518 | and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.” 1519 | 1520 | “All right,” said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, 1521 | beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which 1522 | remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 1523 | 1524 | “Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a 1525 | grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!” 1526 | 1527 | She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of 1528 | the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the 1529 | chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It 1530 | was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had 1531 | nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself 1532 | to about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather 1533 | timidly, saying to herself “Suppose it should be raving mad after all! 1534 | I almost wish I’d gone to see the Hatter instead!” 1535 | 1536 | CHAPTER VII. 1537 | A Mad Tea-Party 1538 | 1539 | There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the 1540 | March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting 1541 | between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a 1542 | cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. “Very 1543 | uncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “only, as it’s asleep, 1544 | I suppose it doesn’t mind.” 1545 | 1546 | The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at 1547 | one corner of it: “No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw 1548 | Alice coming. “There’s _plenty_ of room!” said Alice indignantly, and 1549 | she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. 1550 | 1551 | “Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. 1552 | 1553 | Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 1554 | “I don’t see any wine,” she remarked. 1555 | 1556 | “There isn’t any,” said the March Hare. 1557 | 1558 | “Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily. 1559 | 1560 | “It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,” said 1561 | the March Hare. 1562 | 1563 | “I didn’t know it was _your_ table,” said Alice; “it’s laid for a great 1564 | many more than three.” 1565 | 1566 | “Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. He had been looking at 1567 | Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first 1568 | speech. 1569 | 1570 | “You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with some 1571 | severity; “it’s very rude.” 1572 | 1573 | The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he _said_ 1574 | was, “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” 1575 | 1576 | “Come, we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they’ve 1577 | begun asking riddles.—I believe I can guess that,” she added aloud. 1578 | 1579 | “Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said 1580 | the March Hare. 1581 | 1582 | “Exactly so,” said Alice. 1583 | 1584 | “Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on. 1585 | 1586 | “I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what I 1587 | say—that’s the same thing, you know.” 1588 | 1589 | “Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well 1590 | say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!” 1591 | 1592 | “You might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what 1593 | I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!” 1594 | 1595 | “You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed to be 1596 | talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing 1597 | as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!” 1598 | 1599 | “It _is_ the same thing with you,” said the Hatter, and here the 1600 | conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while 1601 | Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and 1602 | writing-desks, which wasn’t much. 1603 | 1604 | The Hatter was the first to break the silence. “What day of the month 1605 | is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his 1606 | pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, 1607 | and holding it to his ear. 1608 | 1609 | Alice considered a little, and then said “The fourth.” 1610 | 1611 | “Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldn’t suit 1612 | the works!” he added looking angrily at the March Hare. 1613 | 1614 | “It was the _best_ butter,” the March Hare meekly replied. 1615 | 1616 | “Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter grumbled: 1617 | “you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread-knife.” 1618 | 1619 | The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped 1620 | it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of 1621 | nothing better to say than his first remark, “It was the _best_ butter, 1622 | you know.” 1623 | 1624 | Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. “What a 1625 | funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t 1626 | tell what o’clock it is!” 1627 | 1628 | “Why should it?” muttered the Hatter. “Does _your_ watch tell you what 1629 | year it is?” 1630 | 1631 | “Of course not,” Alice replied very readily: “but that’s because it 1632 | stays the same year for such a long time together.” 1633 | 1634 | “Which is just the case with _mine_,” said the Hatter. 1635 | 1636 | Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to have no 1637 | sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. “I don’t quite 1638 | understand you,” she said, as politely as she could. 1639 | 1640 | “The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little 1641 | hot tea upon its nose. 1642 | 1643 | The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its 1644 | eyes, “Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.” 1645 | 1646 | “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice 1647 | again. 1648 | 1649 | “No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?” 1650 | 1651 | “I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter. 1652 | 1653 | “Nor I,” said the March Hare. 1654 | 1655 | Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better with the 1656 | time,” she said, “than waste it in asking riddles that have no 1657 | answers.” 1658 | 1659 | “If you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldn’t talk 1660 | about wasting _it_. It’s _him_.” 1661 | 1662 | “I don’t know what you mean,” said Alice. 1663 | 1664 | “Of course you don’t!” the Hatter said, tossing his head 1665 | contemptuously. “I dare say you never even spoke to Time!” 1666 | 1667 | “Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied: “but I know I have to beat 1668 | time when I learn music.” 1669 | 1670 | “Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter. “He won’t stand beating. 1671 | Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything 1672 | you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in 1673 | the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a 1674 | hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, 1675 | time for dinner!” 1676 | 1677 | (“I only wish it was,” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) 1678 | 1679 | “That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice thoughtfully: “but then—I 1680 | shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.” 1681 | 1682 | “Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter: “but you could keep it to 1683 | half-past one as long as you liked.” 1684 | 1685 | “Is that the way _you_ manage?” Alice asked. 1686 | 1687 | The Hatter shook his head mournfully. “Not I!” he replied. “We 1688 | quarrelled last March—just before _he_ went mad, you know—” (pointing 1689 | with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) “—it was at the great concert 1690 | given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing 1691 | 1692 | ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! 1693 | How I wonder what you’re at!’ 1694 | 1695 | You know the song, perhaps?” 1696 | 1697 | “I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice. 1698 | 1699 | “It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way:— 1700 | 1701 | ‘Up above the world you fly, 1702 | Like a tea-tray in the sky. 1703 | Twinkle, twinkle—’” 1704 | 1705 | Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 1706 | “_Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle_—” and went on so long that they 1707 | had to pinch it to make it stop. 1708 | 1709 | “Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when the 1710 | Queen jumped up and bawled out, ‘He’s murdering the time! Off with his 1711 | head!’” 1712 | 1713 | “How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice. 1714 | 1715 | “And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, “he won’t 1716 | do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.” 1717 | 1718 | A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “Is that the reason so many 1719 | tea-things are put out here?” she asked. 1720 | 1721 | “Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh: “it’s always tea-time, 1722 | and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.” 1723 | 1724 | “Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice. 1725 | 1726 | “Exactly so,” said the Hatter: “as the things get used up.” 1727 | 1728 | “But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured 1729 | to ask. 1730 | 1731 | “Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawning. 1732 | “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.” 1733 | 1734 | “I’m afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice, rather alarmed at the 1735 | proposal. 1736 | 1737 | “Then the Dormouse shall!” they both cried. “Wake up, Dormouse!” And 1738 | they pinched it on both sides at once. 1739 | 1740 | The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. “I wasn’t asleep,” he said in a 1741 | hoarse, feeble voice: “I heard every word you fellows were saying.” 1742 | 1743 | “Tell us a story!” said the March Hare. 1744 | 1745 | “Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice. 1746 | 1747 | “And be quick about it,” added the Hatter, “or you’ll be asleep again 1748 | before it’s done.” 1749 | 1750 | “Once upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse began 1751 | in a great hurry; “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and 1752 | they lived at the bottom of a well—” 1753 | 1754 | “What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great interest 1755 | in questions of eating and drinking. 1756 | 1757 | “They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or 1758 | two. 1759 | 1760 | “They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked; 1761 | “they’d have been ill.” 1762 | 1763 | “So they were,” said the Dormouse; “_very_ ill.” 1764 | 1765 | Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of 1766 | living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: “But 1767 | why did they live at the bottom of a well?” 1768 | 1769 | “Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. 1770 | 1771 | “I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t 1772 | take more.” 1773 | 1774 | “You mean you can’t take _less_,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to 1775 | take _more_ than nothing.” 1776 | 1777 | “Nobody asked _your_ opinion,” said Alice. 1778 | 1779 | “Who’s making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked triumphantly. 1780 | 1781 | Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to 1782 | some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and 1783 | repeated her question. “Why did they live at the bottom of a well?” 1784 | 1785 | The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then 1786 | said, “It was a treacle-well.” 1787 | 1788 | “There’s no such thing!” Alice was beginning very angrily, but the 1789 | Hatter and the March Hare went “Sh! sh!” and the Dormouse sulkily 1790 | remarked, “If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish the story for 1791 | yourself.” 1792 | 1793 | “No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly; “I won’t interrupt again. I 1794 | dare say there may be _one_.” 1795 | 1796 | “One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to 1797 | go on. “And so these three little sisters—they were learning to draw, 1798 | you know—” 1799 | 1800 | “What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. 1801 | 1802 | “Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. 1803 | 1804 | “I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter: “let’s all move one place 1805 | on.” 1806 | 1807 | He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare 1808 | moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the 1809 | place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any 1810 | advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than 1811 | before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. 1812 | 1813 | Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very 1814 | cautiously: “But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the treacle 1815 | from?” 1816 | 1817 | “You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I should 1818 | think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well—eh, stupid?” 1819 | 1820 | “But they were _in_ the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing 1821 | to notice this last remark. 1822 | 1823 | “Of course they were,” said the Dormouse; “—well in.” 1824 | 1825 | This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for 1826 | some time without interrupting it. 1827 | 1828 | “They were learning to draw,” the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing 1829 | its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; “and they drew all manner of 1830 | things—everything that begins with an M—” 1831 | 1832 | “Why with an M?” said Alice. 1833 | 1834 | “Why not?” said the March Hare. 1835 | 1836 | Alice was silent. 1837 | 1838 | The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a 1839 | doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a 1840 | little shriek, and went on: “—that begins with an M, such as 1841 | mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness—you know you say 1842 | things are “much of a muchness”—did you ever see such a thing as a 1843 | drawing of a muchness?” 1844 | 1845 | “Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t 1846 | think—” 1847 | 1848 | “Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter. 1849 | 1850 | This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in 1851 | great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and 1852 | neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she 1853 | looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: 1854 | the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into 1855 | the teapot. 1856 | 1857 | “At any rate I’ll never go _there_ again!” said Alice as she picked her 1858 | way through the wood. “It’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in 1859 | all my life!” 1860 | 1861 | Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door 1862 | leading right into it. “That’s very curious!” she thought. “But 1863 | everything’s curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.” And 1864 | in she went. 1865 | 1866 | Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little 1867 | glass table. “Now, I’ll manage better this time,” she said to herself, 1868 | and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that 1869 | led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom 1870 | (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot 1871 | high: then she walked down the little passage: and _then_—she found 1872 | herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds 1873 | and the cool fountains. 1874 | 1875 | CHAPTER VIII. 1876 | The Queen’s Croquet-Ground 1877 | 1878 | A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses 1879 | growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily 1880 | painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she 1881 | went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard 1882 | one of them say, “Look out now, Five! Don’t go splashing paint over me 1883 | like that!” 1884 | 1885 | “I couldn’t help it,” said Five, in a sulky tone; “Seven jogged my 1886 | elbow.” 1887 | 1888 | On which Seven looked up and said, “That’s right, Five! Always lay the 1889 | blame on others!” 1890 | 1891 | “_You’d_ better not talk!” said Five. “I heard the Queen say only 1892 | yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!” 1893 | 1894 | “What for?” said the one who had spoken first. 1895 | 1896 | “That’s none of _your_ business, Two!” said Seven. 1897 | 1898 | “Yes, it _is_ his business!” said Five, “and I’ll tell him—it was for 1899 | bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.” 1900 | 1901 | Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun “Well, of all the unjust 1902 | things—” when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching 1903 | them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, 1904 | and all of them bowed low. 1905 | 1906 | “Would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, “why you are 1907 | painting those roses?” 1908 | 1909 | Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low 1910 | voice, “Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a 1911 | _red_ rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen 1912 | was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So 1913 | you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to—” At this 1914 | moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called 1915 | out “The Queen! The Queen!” and the three gardeners instantly threw 1916 | themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, 1917 | and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. 1918 | 1919 | First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the 1920 | three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the 1921 | corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with 1922 | diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came 1923 | the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came 1924 | jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all 1925 | ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, 1926 | and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a 1927 | hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went 1928 | by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying 1929 | the King’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this 1930 | grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 1931 | 1932 | Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face 1933 | like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard 1934 | of such a rule at processions; “and besides, what would be the use of a 1935 | procession,” thought she, “if people had all to lie down upon their 1936 | faces, so that they couldn’t see it?” So she stood still where she was, 1937 | and waited. 1938 | 1939 | When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked 1940 | at her, and the Queen said severely “Who is this?” She said it to the 1941 | Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 1942 | 1943 | “Idiot!” said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to 1944 | Alice, she went on, “What’s your name, child?” 1945 | 1946 | “My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,” said Alice very politely; 1947 | but she added, to herself, “Why, they’re only a pack of cards, after 1948 | all. I needn’t be afraid of them!” 1949 | 1950 | “And who are _these?_” said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners 1951 | who were lying round the rose-tree; for, you see, as they were lying on 1952 | their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of 1953 | the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, 1954 | or courtiers, or three of her own children. 1955 | 1956 | “How should _I_ know?” said Alice, surprised at her own courage. “It’s 1957 | no business of _mine_.” 1958 | 1959 | The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a 1960 | moment like a wild beast, screamed “Off with her head! Off—” 1961 | 1962 | “Nonsense!” said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was 1963 | silent. 1964 | 1965 | The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said “Consider, my 1966 | dear: she is only a child!” 1967 | 1968 | The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave “Turn 1969 | them over!” 1970 | 1971 | The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. 1972 | 1973 | “Get up!” said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three 1974 | gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, 1975 | the royal children, and everybody else. 1976 | 1977 | “Leave off that!” screamed the Queen. “You make me giddy.” And then, 1978 | turning to the rose-tree, she went on, “What _have_ you been doing 1979 | here?” 1980 | 1981 | “May it please your Majesty,” said Two, in a very humble tone, going 1982 | down on one knee as he spoke, “we were trying—” 1983 | 1984 | “_I_ see!” said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 1985 | “Off with their heads!” and the procession moved on, three of the 1986 | soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran 1987 | to Alice for protection. 1988 | 1989 | “You shan’t be beheaded!” said Alice, and she put them into a large 1990 | flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a 1991 | minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the 1992 | others. 1993 | 1994 | “Are their heads off?” shouted the Queen. 1995 | 1996 | “Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!” the soldiers shouted 1997 | in reply. 1998 | 1999 | “That’s right!” shouted the Queen. “Can you play croquet?” 2000 | 2001 | The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was 2002 | evidently meant for her. 2003 | 2004 | “Yes!” shouted Alice. 2005 | 2006 | “Come on, then!” roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, 2007 | wondering very much what would happen next. 2008 | 2009 | “It’s—it’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice at her side. She was 2010 | walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. 2011 | 2012 | “Very,” said Alice: “—where’s the Duchess?” 2013 | 2014 | “Hush! Hush!” said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked 2015 | anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon 2016 | tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered “She’s under 2017 | sentence of execution.” 2018 | 2019 | “What for?” said Alice. 2020 | 2021 | “Did you say ‘What a pity!’?” the Rabbit asked. 2022 | 2023 | “No, I didn’t,” said Alice: “I don’t think it’s at all a pity. I said 2024 | ‘What for?’” 2025 | 2026 | “She boxed the Queen’s ears—” the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little 2027 | scream of laughter. “Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened 2028 | tone. “The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the 2029 | Queen said—” 2030 | 2031 | “Get to your places!” shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and 2032 | people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each 2033 | other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game 2034 | began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground 2035 | in her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live 2036 | hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double 2037 | themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. 2038 | 2039 | The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: 2040 | she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, 2041 | under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she 2042 | had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the 2043 | hedgehog a blow with its head, it _would_ twist itself round and look 2044 | up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help 2045 | bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was 2046 | going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog 2047 | had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all 2048 | this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she 2049 | wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were 2050 | always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice 2051 | soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. 2052 | 2053 | The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling 2054 | all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time 2055 | the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and 2056 | shouting “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” about once in a 2057 | minute. 2058 | 2059 | Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any 2060 | dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, 2061 | “and then,” thought she, “what would become of me? They’re dreadfully 2062 | fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there’s any 2063 | one left alive!” 2064 | 2065 | She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she 2066 | could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious 2067 | appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after 2068 | watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said 2069 | to herself “It’s the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk 2070 | to.” 2071 | 2072 | “How are you getting on?” said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth 2073 | enough for it to speak with. 2074 | 2075 | Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. “It’s no use 2076 | speaking to it,” she thought, “till its ears have come, or at least one 2077 | of them.” In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put 2078 | down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad 2079 | she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there 2080 | was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared. 2081 | 2082 | “I don’t think they play at all fairly,” Alice began, in rather a 2083 | complaining tone, “and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear 2084 | oneself speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at 2085 | least, if there are, nobody attends to them—and you’ve no idea how 2086 | confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the 2087 | arch I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the 2088 | ground—and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now, only 2089 | it ran away when it saw mine coming!” 2090 | 2091 | “How do you like the Queen?” said the Cat in a low voice. 2092 | 2093 | “Not at all,” said Alice: “she’s so extremely—” Just then she noticed 2094 | that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, 2095 | “—likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.” 2096 | 2097 | The Queen smiled and passed on. 2098 | 2099 | “Who _are_ you talking to?” said the King, going up to Alice, and 2100 | looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity. 2101 | 2102 | “It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,” said Alice: “allow me to 2103 | introduce it.” 2104 | 2105 | “I don’t like the look of it at all,” said the King: “however, it may 2106 | kiss my hand if it likes.” 2107 | 2108 | “I’d rather not,” the Cat remarked. 2109 | 2110 | “Don’t be impertinent,” said the King, “and don’t look at me like 2111 | that!” He got behind Alice as he spoke. 2112 | 2113 | “A cat may look at a king,” said Alice. “I’ve read that in some book, 2114 | but I don’t remember where.” 2115 | 2116 | “Well, it must be removed,” said the King very decidedly, and he called 2117 | the Queen, who was passing at the moment, “My dear! I wish you would 2118 | have this cat removed!” 2119 | 2120 | The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or 2121 | small. “Off with his head!” she said, without even looking round. 2122 | 2123 | “I’ll fetch the executioner myself,” said the King eagerly, and he 2124 | hurried off. 2125 | 2126 | Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going 2127 | on, as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance, screaming with 2128 | passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be 2129 | executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look 2130 | of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew 2131 | whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. 2132 | 2133 | The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed 2134 | to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the 2135 | other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to 2136 | the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a 2137 | helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree. 2138 | 2139 | By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight 2140 | was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: “but it doesn’t 2141 | matter much,” thought Alice, “as all the arches are gone from this side 2142 | of the ground.” So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not 2143 | escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her 2144 | friend. 2145 | 2146 | When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite 2147 | a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between 2148 | the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, 2149 | while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. 2150 | 2151 | The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle 2152 | the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they 2153 | all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly 2154 | what they said. 2155 | 2156 | The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head unless 2157 | there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a 2158 | thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at _his_ time of life. 2159 | 2160 | The King’s argument was, that anything that had a head could be 2161 | beheaded, and that you weren’t to talk nonsense. 2162 | 2163 | The Queen’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about it in 2164 | less than no time she’d have everybody executed, all round. (It was 2165 | this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and 2166 | anxious.) 2167 | 2168 | Alice could think of nothing else to say but “It belongs to the 2169 | Duchess: you’d better ask _her_ about it.” 2170 | 2171 | “She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner: “fetch her here.” 2172 | And the executioner went off like an arrow. 2173 | 2174 | The Cat’s head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by the 2175 | time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so 2176 | the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, 2177 | while the rest of the party went back to the game. 2178 | 2179 | CHAPTER IX. 2180 | The Mock Turtle’s Story 2181 | 2182 | “You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!” 2183 | said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s, 2184 | and they walked off together. 2185 | 2186 | Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought 2187 | to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so 2188 | savage when they met in the kitchen. 2189 | 2190 | “When _I’m_ a Duchess,” she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful 2191 | tone though), “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen _at all_. Soup 2192 | does very well without—Maybe it’s always pepper that makes people 2193 | hot-tempered,” she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new 2194 | kind of rule, “and vinegar that makes them sour—and camomile that makes 2195 | them bitter—and—and barley-sugar and such things that make children 2196 | sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew _that_: then they wouldn’t be 2197 | so stingy about it, you know—” 2198 | 2199 | She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little 2200 | startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. “You’re thinking 2201 | about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can’t 2202 | tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in 2203 | a bit.” 2204 | 2205 | “Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to remark. 2206 | 2207 | “Tut, tut, child!” said the Duchess. “Everything’s got a moral, if only 2208 | you can find it.” And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s side as 2209 | she spoke. 2210 | 2211 | Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the 2212 | Duchess was _very_ ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the 2213 | right height to rest her chin upon Alice’s shoulder, and it was an 2214 | uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she 2215 | bore it as well as she could. 2216 | 2217 | “The game’s going on rather better now,” she said, by way of keeping up 2218 | the conversation a little. 2219 | 2220 | “’Tis so,” said the Duchess: “and the moral of that is—‘Oh, ’tis love, 2221 | ’tis love, that makes the world go round!’” 2222 | 2223 | “Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “that it’s done by everybody minding 2224 | their own business!” 2225 | 2226 | “Ah, well! It means much the same thing,” said the Duchess, digging her 2227 | sharp little chin into Alice’s shoulder as she added, “and the moral of 2228 | _that_ is—‘Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of 2229 | themselves.’” 2230 | 2231 | “How fond she is of finding morals in things!” Alice thought to 2232 | herself. 2233 | 2234 | “I dare say you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist,” 2235 | the Duchess said after a pause: “the reason is, that I’m doubtful about 2236 | the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?” 2237 | 2238 | “He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious 2239 | to have the experiment tried. 2240 | 2241 | “Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite. And 2242 | the moral of that is—‘Birds of a feather flock together.’” 2243 | 2244 | “Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked. 2245 | 2246 | “Right, as usual,” said the Duchess: “what a clear way you have of 2247 | putting things!” 2248 | 2249 | “It’s a mineral, I _think_,” said Alice. 2250 | 2251 | “Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to 2252 | everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near here. 2253 | And the moral of that is—‘The more there is of mine, the less there is 2254 | of yours.’” 2255 | 2256 | “Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last 2257 | remark, “it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.” 2258 | 2259 | “I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that 2260 | is—‘Be what you would seem to be’—or if you’d like it put more 2261 | simply—‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might 2262 | appear to others that what you were or might have been was not 2263 | otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be 2264 | otherwise.’” 2265 | 2266 | “I think I should understand that better,” Alice said very politely, 2267 | “if I had it written down: but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.” 2268 | 2269 | “That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose,” the Duchess replied, 2270 | in a pleased tone. 2271 | 2272 | “Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said 2273 | Alice. 2274 | 2275 | “Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess. “I make you a present 2276 | of everything I’ve said as yet.” 2277 | 2278 | “A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they don’t give 2279 | birthday presents like that!” But she did not venture to say it out 2280 | loud. 2281 | 2282 | “Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp 2283 | little chin. 2284 | 2285 | “I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to 2286 | feel a little worried. 2287 | 2288 | “Just about as much right,” said the Duchess, “as pigs have to fly; and 2289 | the m—” 2290 | 2291 | But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’s voice died away, 2292 | even in the middle of her favourite word ‘moral,’ and the arm that was 2293 | linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the 2294 | Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a 2295 | thunderstorm. 2296 | 2297 | “A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. 2298 | 2299 | “Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the Queen, stamping on the 2300 | ground as she spoke; “either you or your head must be off, and that in 2301 | about half no time! Take your choice!” 2302 | 2303 | The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. 2304 | 2305 | “Let’s go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too 2306 | much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the 2307 | croquet-ground. 2308 | 2309 | The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen’s absence, and were 2310 | resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried 2311 | back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment’s delay 2312 | would cost them their lives. 2313 | 2314 | All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling 2315 | with the other players, and shouting “Off with his head!” or “Off with 2316 | her head!” Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the 2317 | soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so 2318 | that by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and 2319 | all the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody 2320 | and under sentence of execution. 2321 | 2322 | Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, “Have 2323 | you seen the Mock Turtle yet?” 2324 | 2325 | “No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.” 2326 | 2327 | “It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,” said the Queen. 2328 | 2329 | “I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice. 2330 | 2331 | “Come on, then,” said the Queen, “and he shall tell you his history,” 2332 | 2333 | As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, 2334 | to the company generally, “You are all pardoned.” “Come, _that’s_ a 2335 | good thing!” she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the 2336 | number of executions the Queen had ordered. 2337 | 2338 | They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (If 2339 | you don’t know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) “Up, lazy 2340 | thing!” said the Queen, “and take this young lady to see the Mock 2341 | Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some 2342 | executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, leaving Alice alone 2343 | with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, 2344 | but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it 2345 | as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited. 2346 | 2347 | The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till 2348 | she was out of sight: then it chuckled. “What fun!” said the Gryphon, 2349 | half to itself, half to Alice. 2350 | 2351 | “What _is_ the fun?” said Alice. 2352 | 2353 | “Why, _she_,” said the Gryphon. “It’s all her fancy, that: they never 2354 | executes nobody, you know. Come on!” 2355 | 2356 | “Everybody says ‘come on!’ here,” thought Alice, as she went slowly 2357 | after it: “I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!” 2358 | 2359 | They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, 2360 | sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came 2361 | nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She 2362 | pitied him deeply. “What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon, and the 2363 | Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, “It’s all 2364 | his fancy, that: he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on!” 2365 | 2366 | So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes 2367 | full of tears, but said nothing. 2368 | 2369 | “This here young lady,” said the Gryphon, “she wants for to know your 2370 | history, she do.” 2371 | 2372 | “I’ll tell it her,” said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: “sit 2373 | down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.” 2374 | 2375 | So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to 2376 | herself, “I don’t see how he can _ever_ finish, if he doesn’t begin.” 2377 | But she waited patiently. 2378 | 2379 | “Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a real 2380 | Turtle.” 2381 | 2382 | These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an 2383 | occasional exclamation of “Hjckrrh!” from the Gryphon, and the constant 2384 | heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and 2385 | saying, “Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,” but she could not 2386 | help thinking there _must_ be more to come, so she sat still and said 2387 | nothing. 2388 | 2389 | “When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, 2390 | though still sobbing a little now and then, “we went to school in the 2391 | sea. The master was an old Turtle—we used to call him Tortoise—” 2392 | 2393 | “Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t one?” Alice asked. 2394 | 2395 | “We called him Tortoise because he taught us,” said the Mock Turtle 2396 | angrily: “really you are very dull!” 2397 | 2398 | “You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple 2399 | question,” added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked 2400 | at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the 2401 | Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, “Drive on, old fellow! Don’t be all 2402 | day about it!” and he went on in these words: 2403 | 2404 | “Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn’t believe it—” 2405 | 2406 | “I never said I didn’t!” interrupted Alice. 2407 | 2408 | “You did,” said the Mock Turtle. 2409 | 2410 | “Hold your tongue!” added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. 2411 | The Mock Turtle went on. 2412 | 2413 | “We had the best of educations—in fact, we went to school every day—” 2414 | 2415 | “_I’ve_ been to a day-school, too,” said Alice; “you needn’t be so 2416 | proud as all that.” 2417 | 2418 | “With extras?” asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 2419 | 2420 | “Yes,” said Alice, “we learned French and music.” 2421 | 2422 | “And washing?” said the Mock Turtle. 2423 | 2424 | “Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly. 2425 | 2426 | “Ah! then yours wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a 2427 | tone of great relief. “Now at _ours_ they had at the end of the bill, 2428 | ‘French, music, _and washing_—extra.’” 2429 | 2430 | “You couldn’t have wanted it much,” said Alice; “living at the bottom 2431 | of the sea.” 2432 | 2433 | “I couldn’t afford to learn it.” said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. “I 2434 | only took the regular course.” 2435 | 2436 | “What was that?” inquired Alice. 2437 | 2438 | “Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,” the Mock Turtle 2439 | replied; “and then the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, 2440 | Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.” 2441 | 2442 | “I never heard of ‘Uglification,’” Alice ventured to say. “What is it?” 2443 | 2444 | The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. “What! Never heard of 2445 | uglifying!” it exclaimed. “You know what to beautify is, I suppose?” 2446 | 2447 | “Yes,” said Alice doubtfully: “it means—to—make—anything—prettier.” 2448 | 2449 | “Well, then,” the Gryphon went on, “if you don’t know what to uglify 2450 | is, you _are_ a simpleton.” 2451 | 2452 | Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so 2453 | she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said “What else had you to learn?” 2454 | 2455 | “Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the 2456 | subjects on his flappers, “—Mystery, ancient and modern, with 2457 | Seaography: then Drawling—the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, 2458 | that used to come once a week: _he_ taught us Drawling, Stretching, and 2459 | Fainting in Coils.” 2460 | 2461 | “What was _that_ like?” said Alice. 2462 | 2463 | “Well, I can’t show it you myself,” the Mock Turtle said: “I’m too 2464 | stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.” 2465 | 2466 | “Hadn’t time,” said the Gryphon: “I went to the Classics master, 2467 | though. He was an old crab, _he_ was.” 2468 | 2469 | “I never went to him,” the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: “he taught 2470 | Laughing and Grief, they used to say.” 2471 | 2472 | “So he did, so he did,” said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both 2473 | creatures hid their faces in their paws. 2474 | 2475 | “And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a hurry 2476 | to change the subject. 2477 | 2478 | “Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so 2479 | on.” 2480 | 2481 | “What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice. 2482 | 2483 | “That’s the reason they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked: 2484 | “because they lessen from day to day.” 2485 | 2486 | This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little 2487 | before she made her next remark. “Then the eleventh day must have been 2488 | a holiday?” 2489 | 2490 | “Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle. 2491 | 2492 | “And how did you manage on the twelfth?” Alice went on eagerly. 2493 | 2494 | “That’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted in a very 2495 | decided tone: “tell her something about the games now.” 2496 | 2497 | CHAPTER X. 2498 | The Lobster Quadrille 2499 | 2500 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across 2501 | his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or 2502 | two sobs choked his voice. “Same as if he had a bone in his throat,” 2503 | said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in 2504 | the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears 2505 | running down his cheeks, he went on again:— 2506 | 2507 | “You may not have lived much under the sea—” (“I haven’t,” said 2508 | Alice)—“and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster—” 2509 | (Alice began to say “I once tasted—” but checked herself hastily, and 2510 | said “No, never”) “—so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a 2511 | Lobster Quadrille is!” 2512 | 2513 | “No, indeed,” said Alice. “What sort of a dance is it?” 2514 | 2515 | “Why,” said the Gryphon, “you first form into a line along the 2516 | sea-shore—” 2517 | 2518 | “Two lines!” cried the Mock Turtle. “Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; 2519 | then, when you’ve cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way—” 2520 | 2521 | “_That_ generally takes some time,” interrupted the Gryphon. 2522 | 2523 | “—you advance twice—” 2524 | 2525 | “Each with a lobster as a partner!” cried the Gryphon. 2526 | 2527 | “Of course,” the Mock Turtle said: “advance twice, set to partners—” 2528 | 2529 | “—change lobsters, and retire in same order,” continued the Gryphon. 2530 | 2531 | “Then, you know,” the Mock Turtle went on, “you throw the—” 2532 | 2533 | “The lobsters!” shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 2534 | 2535 | “—as far out to sea as you can—” 2536 | 2537 | “Swim after them!” screamed the Gryphon. 2538 | 2539 | “Turn a somersault in the sea!” cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly 2540 | about. 2541 | 2542 | “Change lobsters again!” yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. 2543 | 2544 | “Back to land again, and that’s all the first figure,” said the Mock 2545 | Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had 2546 | been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very 2547 | sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 2548 | 2549 | “It must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice timidly. 2550 | 2551 | “Would you like to see a little of it?” said the Mock Turtle. 2552 | 2553 | “Very much indeed,” said Alice. 2554 | 2555 | “Come, let’s try the first figure!” said the Mock Turtle to the 2556 | Gryphon. “We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?” 2557 | 2558 | “Oh, _you_ sing,” said the Gryphon. “I’ve forgotten the words.” 2559 | 2560 | So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and 2561 | then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their 2562 | forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly 2563 | and sadly:— 2564 | 2565 | “Will you walk a little faster?” said a whiting to a snail. 2566 | “There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail. 2567 | See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 2568 | They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join the dance? 2569 | Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance? 2570 | Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance? 2571 | 2572 | “You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 2573 | When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!” 2574 | But the snail replied “Too far, too far!” and gave a look askance— 2575 | Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. 2576 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. 2577 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. 2578 | 2579 | “What matters it how far we go?” his scaly friend replied. 2580 | “There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. 2581 | The further off from England the nearer is to France— 2582 | Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. 2583 | Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance? 2584 | Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?” 2585 | 2586 | “Thank you, it’s a very interesting dance to watch,” said Alice, 2587 | feeling very glad that it was over at last: “and I do so like that 2588 | curious song about the whiting!” 2589 | 2590 | “Oh, as to the whiting,” said the Mock Turtle, “they—you’ve seen them, 2591 | of course?” 2592 | 2593 | “Yes,” said Alice, “I’ve often seen them at dinn—” she checked herself 2594 | hastily. 2595 | 2596 | “I don’t know where Dinn may be,” said the Mock Turtle, “but if you’ve 2597 | seen them so often, of course you know what they’re like.” 2598 | 2599 | “I believe so,” Alice replied thoughtfully. “They have their tails in 2600 | their mouths—and they’re all over crumbs.” 2601 | 2602 | “You’re wrong about the crumbs,” said the Mock Turtle: “crumbs would 2603 | all wash off in the sea. But they _have_ their tails in their mouths; 2604 | and the reason is—” here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his 2605 | eyes.—“Tell her about the reason and all that,” he said to the Gryphon. 2606 | 2607 | “The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “that they _would_ go with the 2608 | lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to 2609 | fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they 2610 | couldn’t get them out again. That’s all.” 2611 | 2612 | “Thank you,” said Alice, “it’s very interesting. I never knew so much 2613 | about a whiting before.” 2614 | 2615 | “I can tell you more than that, if you like,” said the Gryphon. “Do you 2616 | know why it’s called a whiting?” 2617 | 2618 | “I never thought about it,” said Alice. “Why?” 2619 | 2620 | “_It does the boots and shoes_,” the Gryphon replied very solemnly. 2621 | 2622 | Alice was thoroughly puzzled. “Does the boots and shoes!” she repeated 2623 | in a wondering tone. 2624 | 2625 | “Why, what are _your_ shoes done with?” said the Gryphon. “I mean, what 2626 | makes them so shiny?” 2627 | 2628 | Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her 2629 | answer. “They’re done with blacking, I believe.” 2630 | 2631 | “Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 2632 | “are done with a whiting. Now you know.” 2633 | 2634 | “And what are they made of?” Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. 2635 | 2636 | “Soles and eels, of course,” the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: 2637 | “any shrimp could have told you that.” 2638 | 2639 | “If I’d been the whiting,” said Alice, whose thoughts were still 2640 | running on the song, “I’d have said to the porpoise, ‘Keep back, 2641 | please: we don’t want _you_ with us!’” 2642 | 2643 | “They were obliged to have him with them,” the Mock Turtle said: “no 2644 | wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.” 2645 | 2646 | “Wouldn’t it really?” said Alice in a tone of great surprise. 2647 | 2648 | “Of course not,” said the Mock Turtle: “why, if a fish came to _me_, 2649 | and told me he was going a journey, I should say ‘With what porpoise?’” 2650 | 2651 | “Don’t you mean ‘purpose’?” said Alice. 2652 | 2653 | “I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And 2654 | the Gryphon added “Come, let’s hear some of _your_ adventures.” 2655 | 2656 | “I could tell you my adventures—beginning from this morning,” said 2657 | Alice a little timidly: “but it’s no use going back to yesterday, 2658 | because I was a different person then.” 2659 | 2660 | “Explain all that,” said the Mock Turtle. 2661 | 2662 | “No, no! The adventures first,” said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 2663 | “explanations take such a dreadful time.” 2664 | 2665 | So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first 2666 | saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, 2667 | the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened 2668 | their eyes and mouths so _very_ wide, but she gained courage as she 2669 | went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part 2670 | about her repeating “_You are old, Father William_,” to the 2671 | Caterpillar, and the words all coming different, and then the Mock 2672 | Turtle drew a long breath, and said “That’s very curious.” 2673 | 2674 | “It’s all about as curious as it can be,” said the Gryphon. 2675 | 2676 | “It all came different!” the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. “I 2677 | should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to 2678 | begin.” He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of 2679 | authority over Alice. 2680 | 2681 | “Stand up and repeat ‘’_Tis the voice of the sluggard_,’” said the 2682 | Gryphon. 2683 | 2684 | “How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!” 2685 | thought Alice; “I might as well be at school at once.” However, she got 2686 | up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster 2687 | Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came 2688 | very queer indeed:— 2689 | 2690 | “’Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, 2691 | “You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.” 2692 | As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 2693 | Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.” 2694 | 2695 | [later editions continued as follows 2696 | When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, 2697 | And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, 2698 | But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, 2699 | His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] 2700 | 2701 | “That’s different from what _I_ used to say when I was a child,” said 2702 | the Gryphon. 2703 | 2704 | “Well, I never heard it before,” said the Mock Turtle; “but it sounds 2705 | uncommon nonsense.” 2706 | 2707 | Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, 2708 | wondering if anything would _ever_ happen in a natural way again. 2709 | 2710 | “I should like to have it explained,” said the Mock Turtle. 2711 | 2712 | “She can’t explain it,” said the Gryphon hastily. “Go on with the next 2713 | verse.” 2714 | 2715 | “But about his toes?” the Mock Turtle persisted. “How _could_ he turn 2716 | them out with his nose, you know?” 2717 | 2718 | “It’s the first position in dancing.” Alice said; but was dreadfully 2719 | puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. 2720 | 2721 | “Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphon repeated impatiently: “it 2722 | begins ‘_I passed by his garden_.’” 2723 | 2724 | Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come 2725 | wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:— 2726 | 2727 | “I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 2728 | How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie—” 2729 | 2730 | [later editions continued as follows 2731 | The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, 2732 | While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. 2733 | When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, 2734 | Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: 2735 | While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, 2736 | And concluded the banquet—] 2737 | 2738 | “What _is_ the use of repeating all that stuff,” the Mock Turtle 2739 | interrupted, “if you don’t explain it as you go on? It’s by far the 2740 | most confusing thing _I_ ever heard!” 2741 | 2742 | “Yes, I think you’d better leave off,” said the Gryphon: and Alice was 2743 | only too glad to do so. 2744 | 2745 | “Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?” the Gryphon 2746 | went on. “Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?” 2747 | 2748 | “Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,” Alice 2749 | replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 2750 | “Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her ‘_Turtle Soup_,’ will you, old 2751 | fellow?” 2752 | 2753 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked 2754 | with sobs, to sing this:— 2755 | 2756 | “Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 2757 | Waiting in a hot tureen! 2758 | Who for such dainties would not stoop? 2759 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2760 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2761 | Beau—ootiful Soo—oop! 2762 | Beau—ootiful Soo—oop! 2763 | Soo—oop of the e—e—evening, 2764 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 2765 | 2766 | “Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 2767 | Game, or any other dish? 2768 | Who would not give all else for two p 2769 | ennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2770 | Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2771 | Beau—ootiful Soo—oop! 2772 | Beau—ootiful Soo—oop! 2773 | Soo—oop of the e—e—evening, 2774 | Beautiful, beauti—FUL SOUP!” 2775 | 2776 | “Chorus again!” cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun 2777 | to repeat it, when a cry of “The trial’s beginning!” was heard in the 2778 | distance. 2779 | 2780 | “Come on!” cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried 2781 | off, without waiting for the end of the song. 2782 | 2783 | “What trial is it?” Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only 2784 | answered “Come on!” and ran the faster, while more and more faintly 2785 | came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:— 2786 | 2787 | “Soo—oop of the e—e—evening, 2788 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup!” 2789 | 2790 | CHAPTER XI. 2791 | Who Stole the Tarts? 2792 | 2793 | The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they 2794 | arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them—all sorts of little 2795 | birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was 2796 | standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard 2797 | him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one 2798 | hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the 2799 | court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so 2800 | good, that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them—“I wish they’d 2801 | get the trial done,” she thought, “and hand round the refreshments!” 2802 | But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at 2803 | everything about her, to pass away the time. 2804 | 2805 | Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read 2806 | about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew 2807 | the name of nearly everything there. “That’s the judge,” she said to 2808 | herself, “because of his great wig.” 2809 | 2810 | The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the 2811 | wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he 2812 | did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. 2813 | 2814 | “And that’s the jury-box,” thought Alice, “and those twelve creatures,” 2815 | (she was obliged to say “creatures,” you see, because some of them were 2816 | animals, and some were birds,) “I suppose they are the jurors.” She 2817 | said this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather 2818 | proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little 2819 | girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, “jury-men” 2820 | would have done just as well. 2821 | 2822 | The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. “What are 2823 | they doing?” Alice whispered to the Gryphon. “They can’t have anything 2824 | to put down yet, before the trial’s begun.” 2825 | 2826 | “They’re putting down their names,” the Gryphon whispered in reply, 2827 | “for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.” 2828 | 2829 | “Stupid things!” Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she 2830 | stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, “Silence in the 2831 | court!” and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, 2832 | to make out who was talking. 2833 | 2834 | Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, 2835 | that all the jurors were writing down “stupid things!” on their slates, 2836 | and she could even make out that one of them didn’t know how to spell 2837 | “stupid,” and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. “A nice 2838 | muddle their slates’ll be in before the trial’s over!” thought Alice. 2839 | 2840 | One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice 2841 | could _not_ stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and 2842 | very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly 2843 | that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out 2844 | at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he 2845 | was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this 2846 | was of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 2847 | 2848 | “Herald, read the accusation!” said the King. 2849 | 2850 | On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then 2851 | unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:— 2852 | 2853 | “The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, 2854 | All on a summer day: 2855 | The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 2856 | And took them quite away!” 2857 | 2858 | “Consider your verdict,” the King said to the jury. 2859 | 2860 | “Not yet, not yet!” the Rabbit hastily interrupted. “There’s a great 2861 | deal to come before that!” 2862 | 2863 | “Call the first witness,” said the King; and the White Rabbit blew 2864 | three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, “First witness!” 2865 | 2866 | The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand 2867 | and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. “I beg pardon, your 2868 | Majesty,” he began, “for bringing these in: but I hadn’t quite finished 2869 | my tea when I was sent for.” 2870 | 2871 | “You ought to have finished,” said the King. “When did you begin?” 2872 | 2873 | The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the 2874 | court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. “Fourteenth of March, I _think_ it 2875 | was,” he said. 2876 | 2877 | “Fifteenth,” said the March Hare. 2878 | 2879 | “Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse. 2880 | 2881 | “Write that down,” the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly 2882 | wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and 2883 | reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 2884 | 2885 | “Take off your hat,” the King said to the Hatter. 2886 | 2887 | “It isn’t mine,” said the Hatter. 2888 | 2889 | “_Stolen!_” the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made 2890 | a memorandum of the fact. 2891 | 2892 | “I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as an explanation; “I’ve none 2893 | of my own. I’m a hatter.” 2894 | 2895 | Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, 2896 | who turned pale and fidgeted. 2897 | 2898 | “Give your evidence,” said the King; “and don’t be nervous, or I’ll 2899 | have you executed on the spot.” 2900 | 2901 | This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting 2902 | from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his 2903 | confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the 2904 | bread-and-butter. 2905 | 2906 | Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled 2907 | her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to 2908 | grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave 2909 | the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was 2910 | as long as there was room for her. 2911 | 2912 | “I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so.” said the Dormouse, who was sitting 2913 | next to her. “I can hardly breathe.” 2914 | 2915 | “I can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly: “I’m growing.” 2916 | 2917 | “You’ve no right to grow _here_,” said the Dormouse. 2918 | 2919 | “Don’t talk nonsense,” said Alice more boldly: “you know you’re growing 2920 | too.” 2921 | 2922 | “Yes, but _I_ grow at a reasonable pace,” said the Dormouse: “not in 2923 | that ridiculous fashion.” And he got up very sulkily and crossed over 2924 | to the other side of the court. 2925 | 2926 | All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, 2927 | just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers 2928 | of the court, “Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!” 2929 | on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes 2930 | off. 2931 | 2932 | “Give your evidence,” the King repeated angrily, “or I’ll have you 2933 | executed, whether you’re nervous or not.” 2934 | 2935 | “I’m a poor man, your Majesty,” the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, 2936 | “—and I hadn’t begun my tea—not above a week or so—and what with the 2937 | bread-and-butter getting so thin—and the twinkling of the tea—” 2938 | 2939 | “The twinkling of the _what?_” said the King. 2940 | 2941 | “It _began_ with the tea,” the Hatter replied. 2942 | 2943 | “Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply. “Do you 2944 | take me for a dunce? Go on!” 2945 | 2946 | “I’m a poor man,” the Hatter went on, “and most things twinkled after 2947 | that—only the March Hare said—” 2948 | 2949 | “I didn’t!” the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. 2950 | 2951 | “You did!” said the Hatter. 2952 | 2953 | “I deny it!” said the March Hare. 2954 | 2955 | “He denies it,” said the King: “leave out that part.” 2956 | 2957 | “Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said—” the Hatter went on, looking 2958 | anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied 2959 | nothing, being fast asleep. 2960 | 2961 | “After that,” continued the Hatter, “I cut some more bread-and-butter—” 2962 | 2963 | “But what did the Dormouse say?” one of the jury asked. 2964 | 2965 | “That I can’t remember,” said the Hatter. 2966 | 2967 | “You _must_ remember,” remarked the King, “or I’ll have you executed.” 2968 | 2969 | The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went 2970 | down on one knee. “I’m a poor man, your Majesty,” he began. 2971 | 2972 | “You’re a _very_ poor _speaker_,” said the King. 2973 | 2974 | Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by 2975 | the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just 2976 | explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied 2977 | up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, 2978 | head first, and then sat upon it.) 2979 | 2980 | “I’m glad I’ve seen that done,” thought Alice. “I’ve so often read in 2981 | the newspapers, at the end of trials, “There was some attempts at 2982 | applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the 2983 | court,” and I never understood what it meant till now.” 2984 | 2985 | “If that’s all you know about it, you may stand down,” continued the 2986 | King. 2987 | 2988 | “I can’t go no lower,” said the Hatter: “I’m on the floor, as it is.” 2989 | 2990 | “Then you may _sit_ down,” the King replied. 2991 | 2992 | Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 2993 | 2994 | “Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!” thought Alice. “Now we shall get 2995 | on better.” 2996 | 2997 | “I’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter, with an anxious look at 2998 | the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. 2999 | 3000 | “You may go,” said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, 3001 | without even waiting to put his shoes on. 3002 | 3003 | “—and just take his head off outside,” the Queen added to one of the 3004 | officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get 3005 | to the door. 3006 | 3007 | “Call the next witness!” said the King. 3008 | 3009 | The next witness was the Duchess’s cook. She carried the pepper-box in 3010 | her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the 3011 | court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. 3012 | 3013 | “Give your evidence,” said the King. 3014 | 3015 | “Shan’t,” said the cook. 3016 | 3017 | The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 3018 | “Your Majesty must cross-examine _this_ witness.” 3019 | 3020 | “Well, if I must, I must,” the King said, with a melancholy air, and, 3021 | after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were 3022 | nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, “What are tarts made of?” 3023 | 3024 | “Pepper, mostly,” said the cook. 3025 | 3026 | “Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her. 3027 | 3028 | “Collar that Dormouse,” the Queen shrieked out. “Behead that Dormouse! 3029 | Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his 3030 | whiskers!” 3031 | 3032 | For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse 3033 | turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had 3034 | disappeared. 3035 | 3036 | “Never mind!” said the King, with an air of great relief. “Call the 3037 | next witness.” And he added in an undertone to the Queen, “Really, my 3038 | dear, _you_ must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my 3039 | forehead ache!” 3040 | 3041 | Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling 3042 | very curious to see what the next witness would be like, “—for they 3043 | haven’t got much evidence _yet_,” she said to herself. Imagine her 3044 | surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill 3045 | little voice, the name “Alice!” 3046 | 3047 | CHAPTER XII. 3048 | Alice’s Evidence 3049 | 3050 | “Here!” cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how 3051 | large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such 3052 | a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, 3053 | upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there 3054 | they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of 3055 | goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before. 3056 | 3057 | “Oh, I _beg_ your pardon!” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and 3058 | began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident 3059 | of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of 3060 | idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the 3061 | jury-box, or they would die. 3062 | 3063 | “The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in a very grave voice, “until 3064 | all the jurymen are back in their proper places—_all_,” he repeated 3065 | with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so. 3066 | 3067 | Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put 3068 | the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its 3069 | tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon 3070 | got it out again, and put it right; “not that it signifies much,” she 3071 | said to herself; “I should think it would be _quite_ as much use in the 3072 | trial one way up as the other.” 3073 | 3074 | As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being 3075 | upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to 3076 | them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the 3077 | accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do 3078 | anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the 3079 | court. 3080 | 3081 | “What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice. 3082 | 3083 | “Nothing,” said Alice. 3084 | 3085 | “Nothing _whatever?_” persisted the King. 3086 | 3087 | “Nothing whatever,” said Alice. 3088 | 3089 | “That’s very important,” the King said, turning to the jury. They were 3090 | just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White 3091 | Rabbit interrupted: “\_Un_important, your Majesty means, of course,” he 3092 | said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as 3093 | he spoke. 3094 | 3095 | “\_Un_important, of course, I meant,” the King hastily said, and went on 3096 | to himself in an undertone, 3097 | 3098 | “important—unimportant—unimportant—important—” as if he were trying 3099 | which word sounded best. 3100 | 3101 | Some of the jury wrote it down “important,” and some “unimportant.” 3102 | Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; 3103 | “but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thought to herself. 3104 | 3105 | At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in 3106 | his note-book, cackled out “Silence!” and read out from his book, “Rule 3107 | Forty-two. _All persons more than a mile high to leave the court_.” 3108 | 3109 | Everybody looked at Alice. 3110 | 3111 | “_I’m_ not a mile high,” said Alice. 3112 | 3113 | “You are,” said the King. 3114 | 3115 | “Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen. 3116 | 3117 | “Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,” said Alice: “besides, that’s not a 3118 | regular rule: you invented it just now.” 3119 | 3120 | “It’s the oldest rule in the book,” said the King. 3121 | 3122 | “Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice. 3123 | 3124 | The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. “Consider your 3125 | verdict,” he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice. 3126 | 3127 | “There’s more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,” said the 3128 | White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; “this paper has just been 3129 | picked up.” 3130 | 3131 | “What’s in it?” said the Queen. 3132 | 3133 | “I haven’t opened it yet,” said the White Rabbit, “but it seems to be a 3134 | letter, written by the prisoner to—to somebody.” 3135 | 3136 | “It must have been that,” said the King, “unless it was written to 3137 | nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.” 3138 | 3139 | “Who is it directed to?” said one of the jurymen. 3140 | 3141 | “It isn’t directed at all,” said the White Rabbit; “in fact, there’s 3142 | nothing written on the _outside_.” He unfolded the paper as he spoke, 3143 | and added “It isn’t a letter, after all: it’s a set of verses.” 3144 | 3145 | “Are they in the prisoner’s handwriting?” asked another of the jurymen. 3146 | 3147 | “No, they’re not,” said the White Rabbit, “and that’s the queerest 3148 | thing about it.” (The jury all looked puzzled.) 3149 | 3150 | “He must have imitated somebody else’s hand,” said the King. (The jury 3151 | all brightened up again.) 3152 | 3153 | “Please your Majesty,” said the Knave, “I didn’t write it, and they 3154 | can’t prove I did: there’s no name signed at the end.” 3155 | 3156 | “If you didn’t sign it,” said the King, “that only makes the matter 3157 | worse. You _must_ have meant some mischief, or else you’d have signed 3158 | your name like an honest man.” 3159 | 3160 | There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really 3161 | clever thing the King had said that day. 3162 | 3163 | “That _proves_ his guilt,” said the Queen. 3164 | 3165 | “It proves nothing of the sort!” said Alice. “Why, you don’t even know 3166 | what they’re about!” 3167 | 3168 | “Read them,” said the King. 3169 | 3170 | The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. “Where shall I begin, please 3171 | your Majesty?” he asked. 3172 | 3173 | “Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you 3174 | come to the end: then stop.” 3175 | 3176 | These were the verses the White Rabbit read:— 3177 | 3178 | “They told me you had been to her, 3179 | And mentioned me to him: 3180 | She gave me a good character, 3181 | But said I could not swim. 3182 | 3183 | He sent them word I had not gone 3184 | (We know it to be true): 3185 | If she should push the matter on, 3186 | What would become of you? 3187 | 3188 | I gave her one, they gave him two, 3189 | You gave us three or more; 3190 | They all returned from him to you, 3191 | Though they were mine before. 3192 | 3193 | If I or she should chance to be 3194 | Involved in this affair, 3195 | He trusts to you to set them free, 3196 | Exactly as we were. 3197 | 3198 | My notion was that you had been 3199 | (Before she had this fit) 3200 | An obstacle that came between 3201 | Him, and ourselves, and it. 3202 | 3203 | Don’t let him know she liked them best, 3204 | For this must ever be 3205 | A secret, kept from all the rest, 3206 | Between yourself and me.” 3207 | 3208 | “That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet,” said the 3209 | King, rubbing his hands; “so now let the jury—” 3210 | 3211 | “If any one of them can explain it,” said Alice, (she had grown so 3212 | large in the last few minutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of 3213 | interrupting him,) “I’ll give him sixpence. _I_ don’t believe there’s 3214 | an atom of meaning in it.” 3215 | 3216 | The jury all wrote down on their slates, “_She_ doesn’t believe there’s 3217 | an atom of meaning in it,” but none of them attempted to explain the 3218 | paper. 3219 | 3220 | “If there’s no meaning in it,” said the King, “that saves a world of 3221 | trouble, you know, as we needn’t try to find any. And yet I don’t 3222 | know,” he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at 3223 | them with one eye; “I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. 3224 | “—_said I could not swim_—” you can’t swim, can you?” he added, turning 3225 | to the Knave. 3226 | 3227 | The Knave shook his head sadly. “Do I look like it?” he said. (Which he 3228 | certainly did _not_, being made entirely of cardboard.) 3229 | 3230 | “All right, so far,” said the King, and he went on muttering over the 3231 | verses to himself: “‘_We know it to be true_—’ that’s the jury, of 3232 | course—‘_I gave her one, they gave him two_—’ why, that must be what he 3233 | did with the tarts, you know—” 3234 | 3235 | “But, it goes on ‘_they all returned from him to you_,’” said Alice. 3236 | 3237 | “Why, there they are!” said the King triumphantly, pointing to the 3238 | tarts on the table. “Nothing can be clearer than _that_. Then 3239 | again—‘_before she had this fit_—’ you never had fits, my dear, I 3240 | think?” he said to the Queen. 3241 | 3242 | “Never!” said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard 3243 | as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his 3244 | slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily 3245 | began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long 3246 | as it lasted.) 3247 | 3248 | “Then the words don’t _fit_ you,” said the King, looking round the 3249 | court with a smile. There was a dead silence. 3250 | 3251 | “It’s a pun!” the King added in an offended tone, and everybody 3252 | laughed, “Let the jury consider their verdict,” the King said, for 3253 | about the twentieth time that day. 3254 | 3255 | “No, no!” said the Queen. “Sentence first—verdict afterwards.” 3256 | 3257 | “Stuff and nonsense!” said Alice loudly. “The idea of having the 3258 | sentence first!” 3259 | 3260 | “Hold your tongue!” said the Queen, turning purple. 3261 | 3262 | “I won’t!” said Alice. 3263 | 3264 | “Off with her head!” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody 3265 | moved. 3266 | 3267 | “Who cares for you?” said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by 3268 | this time.) “You’re nothing but a pack of cards!” 3269 | 3270 | At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon 3271 | her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and 3272 | tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her 3273 | head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead 3274 | leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face. 3275 | 3276 | “Wake up, Alice dear!” said her sister; “Why, what a long sleep you’ve 3277 | had!” 3278 | 3279 | “Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!” said Alice, and she told her 3280 | sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange 3281 | Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she 3282 | had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, “It _was_ a curious 3283 | dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it’s getting late.” 3284 | So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, 3285 | what a wonderful dream it had been. 3286 | 3287 | But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her 3288 | hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all 3289 | her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, 3290 | and this was her dream:— 3291 | 3292 | First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny 3293 | hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were 3294 | looking up into hers—she could hear the very tones of her voice, and 3295 | see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair 3296 | that _would_ always get into her eyes—and still as she listened, or 3297 | seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive with the 3298 | strange creatures of her little sister’s dream. 3299 | 3300 | The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by—the 3301 | frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool—she 3302 | could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends 3303 | shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen 3304 | ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution—once more the pig-baby 3305 | was sneezing on the Duchess’s knee, while plates and dishes crashed 3306 | around it—once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the 3307 | Lizard’s slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3308 | filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock 3309 | Turtle. 3310 | 3311 | So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3312 | Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all 3313 | would change to dull reality—the grass would be only rustling in the 3314 | wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds—the rattling 3315 | teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen’s shrill 3316 | cries to the voice of the shepherd boy—and the sneeze of the baby, the 3317 | shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change 3318 | (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard—while the 3319 | lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock 3320 | Turtle’s heavy sobs. 3321 | 3322 | Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers 3323 | would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would 3324 | keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her 3325 | childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, 3326 | and make _their_ eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, 3327 | perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she 3328 | would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all 3329 | their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer 3330 | days. 3331 | 3332 | THE END 3333 | 3334 | *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND *** 3335 | 3336 | 3337 | Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will 3338 | be renamed. 3339 | 3340 | Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright 3341 | law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, 3342 | so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United 3343 | States without permission and without paying copyright 3344 | royalties. 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Thus, we do not 3669 | necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper 3670 | edition. 3671 | 3672 | Most people start at our website which has the main PG search 3673 | facility: www.gutenberg.org. 3674 | 3675 | This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, 3676 | including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary 3677 | Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to 3678 | subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. 3679 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /query_data.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import argparse 2 | # from dataclasses import dataclass 3 | from langchain_community.vectorstores import Chroma 4 | from langchain_openai import OpenAIEmbeddings 5 | from langchain_openai import ChatOpenAI 6 | from langchain.prompts import ChatPromptTemplate 7 | 8 | CHROMA_PATH = "chroma" 9 | 10 | PROMPT_TEMPLATE = """ 11 | Answer the question based only on the following context: 12 | 13 | {context} 14 | 15 | --- 16 | 17 | Answer the question based on the above context: {question} 18 | """ 19 | 20 | 21 | def main(): 22 | # Create CLI. 23 | parser = argparse.ArgumentParser() 24 | parser.add_argument("query_text", type=str, help="The query text.") 25 | args = parser.parse_args() 26 | query_text = args.query_text 27 | 28 | # Prepare the DB. 29 | embedding_function = OpenAIEmbeddings() 30 | db = Chroma(persist_directory=CHROMA_PATH, embedding_function=embedding_function) 31 | 32 | # Search the DB. 33 | results = db.similarity_search_with_relevance_scores(query_text, k=3) 34 | if len(results) == 0 or results[0][1] < 0.7: 35 | print(f"Unable to find matching results.") 36 | return 37 | 38 | context_text = "\n\n---\n\n".join([doc.page_content for doc, _score in results]) 39 | prompt_template = ChatPromptTemplate.from_template(PROMPT_TEMPLATE) 40 | prompt = prompt_template.format(context=context_text, question=query_text) 41 | print(prompt) 42 | 43 | model = ChatOpenAI() 44 | response_text = model.predict(prompt) 45 | 46 | sources = [doc.metadata.get("source", None) for doc, _score in results] 47 | formatted_response = f"Response: {response_text}\nSources: {sources}" 48 | print(formatted_response) 49 | 50 | 51 | if __name__ == "__main__": 52 | main() 53 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /requirements.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | python-dotenv==1.0.1 # For reading environment variables stored in .env file 2 | langchain==0.2.2 3 | langchain-community==0.2.3 4 | langchain-openai==0.1.8 # For embeddings 5 | unstructured==0.14.4 # Document loading 6 | # onnxruntime==1.17.1 # chromadb dependency: on Mac use `conda install onnxruntime -c conda-forge` 7 | # For Windows users, install Microsoft Visual C++ Build Tools first 8 | # install onnxruntime before installing `chromadb` 9 | chromadb==0.5.0 # Vector storage 10 | openai==1.31.1 # For embeddings 11 | tiktoken==0.7.0 # For embeddings 12 | 13 | # install markdown depenendies with: `pip install "unstructured[md]"` after install the requirements file. Leave this line commented out. 14 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------