├── cogs ├── __init__.py ├── test.py ├── nsfw.py ├── gamble.py ├── basic.py ├── moderator.py ├── admin.py ├── lottery.py ├── images.py └── games.py ├── gaw ├── __init__.py ├── model.py └── controller.py ├── rps ├── __init__.py ├── parser.py ├── controller.py └── model.py ├── hangman ├── __init__.py ├── model.py └── controller.py ├── lottery ├── __init__.py ├── model.py └── controller.py ├── settings_files ├── __init__.py ├── development.py ├── production.py └── _global.py ├── .vscode └── settings.json ├── docker-compose-dev.yml ├── settings.py ├── requirements.txt ├── main.py ├── lottery_drawer.py ├── utils.py ├── .gitignore ├── README.md ├── LICENSE └── data └── jokes.json /cogs/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /gaw/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /rps/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /hangman/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /lottery/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /settings_files/__init__.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /settings_files/development.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from ._global import * 2 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /settings_files/production.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from ._global import * 2 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /.vscode/settings.json: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | { 2 | "workbench.colorCustomizations": { 3 | "activityBar.background": "#21330B", 4 | "titleBar.activeBackground": "#2E470F", 5 | "titleBar.activeForeground": "#F6FCF0" 6 | } 7 | } 8 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/test.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from discord.ext import commands 2 | 3 | 4 | class Test(commands.Cog): 5 | def __init__(self, bot): 6 | self.bot = bot 7 | 8 | @commands.command() 9 | async def hello(self, ctx, *args): 10 | await ctx.send(",".join(args)) 11 | 12 | 13 | def setup(bot): 14 | bot.add_cog(Test(bot)) 15 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /docker-compose-dev.yml: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | version: "3.7" 2 | services: 3 | mongodb: 4 | container_name: "db_mongo_dev" 5 | image: mongo:latest 6 | environment: 7 | MONGO_INTIDB_ROOT_USERNAME: root 8 | MONGO_INTIDB_ROOT_PASSWORD: root 9 | ports: 10 | - 27017:27017 11 | volumes: 12 | - mongodb_data_container:/data/db 13 | 14 | volumes: 15 | mongodb_data_container: 16 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /settings.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import os 2 | 3 | DEBUG = os.getenv("DEBUG", False) 4 | 5 | if DEBUG: 6 | print("We are in debug") 7 | from pathlib import Path 8 | from dotenv import load_dotenv 9 | env_path = Path(".") / ".env.debug" 10 | load_dotenv(dotenv_path=env_path) 11 | from settings_files.development import * 12 | else: 13 | print("We are in production") 14 | from settings_files.production import * 15 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /requirements.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | aiohttp==3.6.2 2 | async-timeout==3.0.1 3 | attrs==19.3.0 4 | autopep8==1.5.1 5 | certifi==2020.4.5.1 6 | chardet==3.0.4 7 | discord.py==1.3.3 8 | idna==2.9 9 | multidict==4.7.5 10 | praw==6.5.1 11 | prawcore==1.0.1 12 | pycodestyle==2.5.0 13 | python-dotenv==0.13.0 14 | requests==2.23.0 15 | six==1.14.0 16 | update-checker==0.16 17 | urllib3==1.25.9 18 | websocket-client==0.57.0 19 | websockets==8.1 20 | yarl==1.4.2 21 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /rps/parser.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from .model import RPS 2 | 3 | 4 | class RockPaperScissorParser: 5 | 6 | def __init__(self, choice): 7 | choice = choice.lower() 8 | 9 | if choice == RPS.ROCK: 10 | self.choice = RPS.ROCK 11 | elif choice == RPS.PAPER: 12 | self.choice = RPS.PAPER 13 | elif choice == RPS.SCISSOR: 14 | self.choice = RPS.SCISSOR 15 | else: 16 | raise 17 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /rps/controller.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | from .model import RPS 3 | 4 | 5 | class RPSGame: 6 | def run(self, user_choice): 7 | rps_instance = RPS() 8 | 9 | if user_choice not in rps_instance.get_choices(): 10 | raise Exception("Neeed either rock, paper or scissor") 11 | 12 | bot_choice = random.choice(rps_instance.get_choices()) 13 | 14 | won = rps_instance.check_win(user_choice, bot_choice) 15 | 16 | return won, bot_choice 17 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /gaw/model.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | class GuessAWord: 2 | word = "" 3 | category = "" 4 | channel_id = "" 5 | channel_name = "" 6 | 7 | def __init__(self, word, category): 8 | self.word = word 9 | self.category = category 10 | 11 | def guess(self, word): 12 | if word == self.word: 13 | return True, "" 14 | else: 15 | if word.lower() in self.word.lower(): 16 | return False, word 17 | return False, "" 18 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /main.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import os 2 | 3 | from mongoengine import * 4 | 5 | from discord.ext import commands 6 | 7 | from settings import * 8 | 9 | connect('discord', host='localhost', username='root', 10 | password='root', authentication_source="admin") 11 | 12 | bot = commands.Bot(command_prefix="!") 13 | 14 | for filename in os.listdir("./cogs"): 15 | if filename.endswith(".py") and filename != "__init__.py": 16 | bot.load_extension(f'cogs.{filename[:-3]}') 17 | 18 | bot.run(DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN) 19 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/nsfw.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import discord 2 | from discord.ext import commands 3 | 4 | from utils import get_momma_jokes 5 | 6 | 7 | class NSFW(commands.Cog): 8 | def __init__(self, bot): 9 | self.bot = bot 10 | 11 | @commands.command(brief="You Momma is!") 12 | async def insult(self, ctx, member: discord.Member = None): 13 | insult = await get_momma_jokes() 14 | if member is not None: 15 | print("1") 16 | await ctx.send("%s eat this: %s " % (member.name, insult)) 17 | else: 18 | print("we are in here") 19 | await ctx.send("%s for yourself: %s " % (ctx.message.author.name, insult)) 20 | 21 | 22 | def setup(bot): 23 | bot.add_cog(NSFW(bot)) 24 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /lottery_drawer.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | 2 | import schedule 3 | import time 4 | 5 | from lottery.controller import LotteryController 6 | 7 | import requests 8 | from discord import Webhook, RequestsWebhookAdapter 9 | 10 | from settings import * 11 | 12 | 13 | def job(): 14 | dc = LotteryController() 15 | numbers = dc.draw_numbers() 16 | #numbers_str = ",".join(str(x) for x in numbers) 17 | numbers_str = "3,5,12,15,29,17" 18 | webhook = Webhook.partial(DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_ID, 19 | DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_TOKEN, adapter=RequestsWebhookAdapter()) 20 | webhook.send(numbers_str, username="Webhook Guy") 21 | 22 | 23 | schedule.every(5).seconds.do(job) 24 | 25 | while True: 26 | schedule.run_pending() 27 | time.sleep(1) 28 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/gamble.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | 3 | from discord.ext import commands 4 | 5 | 6 | class Gamble(commands.Cog): 7 | def __init__(self, bot): 8 | self.bot = bot 9 | 10 | @commands.command(brief="Gives a random number between 1 and 100") 11 | async def roll(self, ctx): 12 | n = random.randrange(1, 101) 13 | await ctx.send(n) 14 | 15 | @commands.command(brief="Random number between 1 and 6") 16 | async def dice(self, ctx): 17 | n = random.randrange(1, 6) 18 | await ctx.send(n) 19 | 20 | @commands.command(brief="Either Heads or Tails") 21 | async def coin(self, ctx): 22 | n = random.randint(0, 1) 23 | await ctx.send("Heads" if n == 1 else "Tails") 24 | 25 | 26 | def setup(bot): 27 | bot.add_cog(Gamble(bot)) 28 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /rps/model.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | class RPS: 2 | ROCK = "rock" 3 | PAPER = 'paper' 4 | SCISSOR = "scissor" 5 | 6 | def get_choices(self): 7 | return (self.ROCK, self.PAPER, self.SCISSOR) 8 | 9 | def check_win(self, user1_choice, user2_choice): 10 | winner_check = { 11 | (RPS.ROCK, RPS.PAPER): False, 12 | (RPS.ROCK, RPS.SCISSOR): True, 13 | (RPS.PAPER, RPS.ROCK): True, 14 | (RPS.PAPER, RPS.SCISSOR): False, 15 | (RPS.SCISSOR, RPS.ROCK): False, 16 | (RPS.SCISSOR, RPS.PAPER): True, 17 | } 18 | 19 | won = None 20 | if user1_choice == user2_choice: 21 | won = None 22 | else: 23 | won = winner_check[(user1_choice, user2_choice)] 24 | 25 | return won 26 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /settings_files/_global.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import os 2 | 3 | SETTINGS_DIR = os.path.dirname(os.path.abspath(__file__)) 4 | ROOT_DIR = os.path.dirname(SETTINGS_DIR) 5 | DATA_DIR = os.path.join(ROOT_DIR, 'data') 6 | 7 | # Discord Conf 8 | DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN = os.getenv("DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN", False) 9 | 10 | DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_ID= os.getenv("DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_ID", False) 11 | DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_TOKEN= os.getenv("DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_TOKEN", False) 12 | 13 | # Reddit Configuration 14 | REDDIT_APP_ID = os.getenv("REDDIT_APP_ID", False) 15 | REDDIT_APP_SECRET = os.getenv("REDDIT_APP_SECRET", False) 16 | REDDIT_ENABLED_MEME_SUBREDDITS = [ 17 | 'funny', 18 | 'memes', 19 | ] 20 | REDDIT_ENABLED_NSFW_SUBREDDITS = [ 21 | 'wtf' 22 | ] 23 | 24 | 25 | # Permissions 26 | 27 | MODERATOR_ROLE_NAME = "Moderator" 28 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /lottery/model.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | import datetime 3 | 4 | from mongoengine import * 5 | 6 | 7 | class LotteryDrawing(Document): 8 | 9 | TYPE_USER = "user" 10 | TYPE_SYSTEM = "system" 11 | 12 | TYPE_CHOICES = [TYPE_SYSTEM, TYPE_USER] 13 | 14 | numbers = ListField() 15 | 16 | members_id = IntField(required=False) 17 | 18 | dtype = StringField(choices=TYPE_CHOICES, default=TYPE_USER) 19 | 20 | created_at = DateTimeField() 21 | updated_at = DateTimeField(default=datetime.datetime.now) 22 | 23 | def save(self, *args, **kwargs): 24 | if not self.created_at: 25 | self.created_at = datetime.datetime.now() 26 | self.updated_at = datetime.datetime.now() 27 | 28 | return super(LotteryDrawing, self).save(*args, **kwargs) 29 | 30 | def draw_numbers(self): 31 | numbers = random.sample(range(1, 50), k=6) 32 | return sorted(numbers) 33 | 34 | def numbers_as_string(self): 35 | return ",".join(str(x) for x in self.numbers) 36 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/basic.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from discord.ext import commands 2 | import discord 3 | 4 | from utils import text_to_owo, notify_user 5 | 6 | 7 | class Basic(commands.Cog): 8 | def __init__(self, bot): 9 | self.bot = bot 10 | 11 | @commands.Cog.listener() 12 | async def on_command_error(self, ctx, ex): 13 | print(ex) 14 | await ctx.send("Please check with !help the usage of this command or talk to your administrator.") 15 | 16 | @commands.command(brief="Any message to owo") 17 | async def owo(self, ctx): 18 | await ctx.send(text_to_owo(ctx.message.content)) 19 | 20 | @commands.command(brief="Creates an invite link to the channel") 21 | @commands.guild_only() 22 | async def invite(self, ctx): 23 | link = await ctx.channel.create_invite(max_age=1) 24 | await ctx.send(link) 25 | 26 | @commands.command() 27 | async def poke(self, ctx, member: discord.Member = None): 28 | 29 | if member is not None: 30 | message = "%s poked you!!!!" % ctx.author.name 31 | await notify_user(member, message) 32 | else: 33 | await ctx.send("Please use @mention to poke someone.") 34 | 35 | 36 | def setup(bot): 37 | bot.add_cog(Basic(bot)) 38 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /hangman/model.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | class Hangman: 2 | word = "" 3 | progress_word = "" 4 | guesses = list() 5 | max_guesses = 10 6 | 7 | def __init__(self, word): 8 | self.word = word 9 | self.guesses = list() 10 | 11 | def is_game_over(self, guess): 12 | game_over = False 13 | won = False 14 | 15 | if self.check_guesses_left() == 0: 16 | game_over = True 17 | 18 | won = self.check_word_guess(guess) 19 | 20 | if won: 21 | game_over = True 22 | return game_over, won 23 | 24 | def get_number_of_guesses(self): 25 | return len(self.guesses) 26 | 27 | def check_guesses_left(self): 28 | if self.get_number_of_guesses() >= self.max_guesses: 29 | return 0 30 | return self.max_guesses - self.get_number_of_guesses() 31 | 32 | def check_word_guess(self, word): 33 | if self.word == word: 34 | return True 35 | return False 36 | 37 | def guess(self, character): 38 | character = character.lower() 39 | 40 | self.progress_word = "" 41 | 42 | for c in self.word.lower(): 43 | if character == c or c in self.guesses: 44 | self.progress_word += c 45 | else: 46 | self.progress_word += "\_." 47 | 48 | self.guesses.append(character) 49 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /hangman/controller.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | 3 | from .model import Hangman 4 | 5 | games = {} 6 | 7 | 8 | class HangmanGame: 9 | current_game = None 10 | 11 | def get_secret_word(self): 12 | return self.current_game.word 13 | 14 | def get_guess_string(self): 15 | return ",".join(self.current_game.guesses) 16 | 17 | def get_progress_string(self): 18 | return self.current_game.progress_word 19 | 20 | def run(self, player_id, guess): 21 | self.get_game(player_id) 22 | is_game_over, won = self.play_round(guess) 23 | self.save(player_id) 24 | return is_game_over, won 25 | 26 | def play_round(self, guess): 27 | is_word = False 28 | if len(guess) == 1: 29 | pass 30 | elif len(guess) > 1: 31 | is_word = True 32 | else: 33 | return None, None 34 | 35 | if not is_word: 36 | self.current_game.guess(guess) 37 | 38 | is_game_over, won = self.current_game.is_game_over(guess) 39 | return is_game_over, won 40 | 41 | def get_game(self, player_id): 42 | if player_id in games.keys(): 43 | self.current_game = games[player_id] 44 | if self.current_game is None: 45 | self.create_game(player_id) 46 | else: 47 | self.create_game(player_id) 48 | 49 | def get_random_word(self): 50 | return random.choice(('discord', 'bot', 'ultimate', 'python', 'development')) 51 | 52 | def create_game(self, player_id): 53 | self.current_game = Hangman(self.get_random_word()) 54 | self.save(player_id) 55 | 56 | def save(self, player_id): 57 | games[player_id] = self.current_game 58 | 59 | async def reset(self, player_id): 60 | games.pop(player_id) 61 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/moderator.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from discord.ext import commands 2 | import discord 3 | 4 | from utils import mods_or_owner 5 | 6 | 7 | class Moderator(commands.Cog): 8 | def __init__(self, bot): 9 | self.bot = bot 10 | 11 | @commands.command() 12 | @mods_or_owner() 13 | @commands.guild_only() 14 | @commands.has_permissions(kick_members=True) 15 | async def kick(self, ctx, member: discord.Member = None, reason: str = "Because you were bad. We kicked you."): 16 | if member is not None: 17 | await ctx.guild.kick(member, reason=reason) 18 | else: 19 | await ctx.send("Please specify user to kick via mention") 20 | 21 | @commands.command() 22 | @mods_or_owner() 23 | @commands.guild_only() 24 | @commands.has_permissions(ban_members=True) 25 | async def ban(self, ctx, member: discord.Member = None, reason: str = "Because you are naughty. We banned you."): 26 | if member is not None: 27 | await ctx.guild.ban(member, reason=reason) 28 | else: 29 | await ctx.send("Please specify user to kick via mention") 30 | 31 | @commands.command() 32 | @mods_or_owner() 33 | @commands.guild_only() 34 | @commands.has_permissions(ban_members=True) 35 | async def unban(self, ctx, member: str = "", reason: str = "You have been unbanned. Time is over. Please behave"): 36 | if member == "": 37 | await ctx.send("Please specify username as text") 38 | return 39 | 40 | bans = await ctx.guild.bans() 41 | for b in bans: 42 | if b.user.name == member: 43 | await ctx.guild.unban(b.user, reason=reason) 44 | await ctx.send("User was unbanned") 45 | return 46 | await ctx.send("User was not found in ban list.") 47 | 48 | 49 | def setup(bot): 50 | bot.add_cog(Moderator(bot)) 51 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /utils.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import json 2 | import os 3 | import random 4 | 5 | import discord 6 | from discord.ext import commands 7 | 8 | from settings import * 9 | 10 | 11 | async def notify_user(member, message): 12 | if member is not None: 13 | channel = member.dm_channel 14 | if channel is None: 15 | channel = await member.create_dm() 16 | await channel.send(message) 17 | 18 | 19 | def mods_or_owner(): 20 | """ 21 | Check that the user has the correct role to execute a command 22 | """ 23 | def predicate(ctx): 24 | return commands.check_any(commands.is_owner(), commands.has_role(MODERATOR_ROLE_NAME)) 25 | return commands.check(predicate) 26 | 27 | 28 | async def get_momma_jokes(): 29 | with open(os.path.join(DATA_DIR, "jokes.json")) as joke_file: 30 | jokes = json.load(joke_file) 31 | random_category = random.choice(list(jokes.keys())) 32 | insult = random.choice(list(jokes[random_category])) 33 | return insult 34 | 35 | 36 | vowels = ['a', 'e', 'i', 'o', 'u', 'A', 'E', 'I', 'O', 'U'] 37 | 38 | 39 | def last_replace(s, old, new): 40 | li = s.rsplit(old, 1) 41 | return new.join(li) 42 | 43 | 44 | def text_to_owo(text): 45 | """ Converts your text to OwO """ 46 | smileys = [';;w;;', '^w^', '>w<', 'UwU', '(・`ω\´・)', '(´・ω・\`)'] 47 | 48 | text = text.replace('L', 'W').replace('l', 'w') 49 | text = text.replace('R', 'W').replace('r', 'w') 50 | 51 | text = last_replace(text, '!', '! {}'.format(random.choice(smileys))) 52 | text = last_replace(text, '?', '? owo') 53 | text = last_replace(text, '.', '. {}'.format(random.choice(smileys))) 54 | 55 | for v in vowels: 56 | if 'n{}'.format(v) in text: 57 | text = text.replace('n{}'.format(v), 'ny{}'.format(v)) 58 | if 'N{}'.format(v) in text: 59 | text = text.replace('N{}'.format(v), 'N{}{}'.format( 60 | 'Y' if v.isupper() else 'y', v)) 61 | 62 | return text 63 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /lottery/controller.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from .model import LotteryDrawing 2 | 3 | 4 | class LotteryController: 5 | 6 | def save(self, numbers, author=None): 7 | drawing = LotteryDrawing() 8 | drawing.numbers = numbers 9 | 10 | if author is not None: 11 | drawing.members_id = author.id 12 | else: 13 | drawing.dtype = LotteryDrawing.TYPE_SYSTEM 14 | 15 | drawing.save() 16 | 17 | def get_drawing_results(self): 18 | previous_drawing = LotteryDrawing.objects.filter( 19 | dtype=LotteryDrawing.TYPE_SYSTEM).order_by("-created_at")[:2][1] 20 | 21 | all_tickets = LotteryDrawing.objects.filter( 22 | created_at__gt=previous_drawing.created_at, dtype=LotteryDrawing.TYPE_USER) 23 | 24 | results = { 25 | '2': 0, 26 | '3': 0, 27 | '4': 0, 28 | '5': 0, 29 | '6': 0, 30 | } 31 | 32 | for t in all_tickets: 33 | matching_numbers = set(t.numbers).intersection( 34 | self.get_last_drawing().numbers) 35 | matches = len(matching_numbers) 36 | if matches == 2: 37 | results['2'] += 1 38 | elif matches == 3: 39 | results['3'] += 1 40 | elif matches == 4: 41 | results['4'] += 1 42 | elif matches == 5: 43 | results['5'] += 1 44 | elif matches == 6: 45 | results['6'] += 1 46 | 47 | return results 48 | 49 | def get_my_drawings(self, author): 50 | drawings = LotteryDrawing.objects.filter(members_id=author.id) 51 | return drawings 52 | 53 | def get_last_drawing(self): 54 | last_drawing = LotteryDrawing.objects.filter( 55 | dtype=LotteryDrawing.TYPE_SYSTEM).order_by("-created_at").first() 56 | return last_drawing 57 | 58 | def draw_numbers(self): 59 | drawing = LotteryDrawing() 60 | numbers = drawing.draw_numbers() 61 | return numbers 62 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | nodemon.json 2 | 3 | 4 | # Byte-compiled / optimized / DLL files 5 | __pycache__/ 6 | *.py[cod] 7 | *$py.class 8 | 9 | # C extensions 10 | *.so 11 | 12 | # Distribution / packaging 13 | .Python 14 | build/ 15 | develop-eggs/ 16 | dist/ 17 | downloads/ 18 | eggs/ 19 | .eggs/ 20 | lib/ 21 | lib64/ 22 | parts/ 23 | sdist/ 24 | var/ 25 | wheels/ 26 | pip-wheel-metadata/ 27 | share/python-wheels/ 28 | *.egg-info/ 29 | .installed.cfg 30 | *.egg 31 | MANIFEST 32 | 33 | # PyInstaller 34 | # Usually these files are written by a python script from a template 35 | # before PyInstaller builds the exe, so as to inject date/other infos into it. 36 | *.manifest 37 | *.spec 38 | 39 | # Installer logs 40 | pip-log.txt 41 | pip-delete-this-directory.txt 42 | 43 | # Unit test / coverage reports 44 | htmlcov/ 45 | .tox/ 46 | .nox/ 47 | .coverage 48 | .coverage.* 49 | .cache 50 | nosetests.xml 51 | coverage.xml 52 | *.cover 53 | *.py,cover 54 | .hypothesis/ 55 | .pytest_cache/ 56 | 57 | # Translations 58 | *.mo 59 | *.pot 60 | 61 | # Django stuff: 62 | *.log 63 | local_settings.py 64 | db.sqlite3 65 | db.sqlite3-journal 66 | 67 | # Flask stuff: 68 | instance/ 69 | .webassets-cache 70 | 71 | # Scrapy stuff: 72 | .scrapy 73 | 74 | # Sphinx documentation 75 | docs/_build/ 76 | 77 | # PyBuilder 78 | target/ 79 | 80 | # Jupyter Notebook 81 | .ipynb_checkpoints 82 | 83 | # IPython 84 | profile_default/ 85 | ipython_config.py 86 | 87 | # pyenv 88 | .python-version 89 | 90 | # pipenv 91 | # According to pypa/pipenv#598, it is recommended to include Pipfile.lock in version control. 92 | # However, in case of collaboration, if having platform-specific dependencies or dependencies 93 | # having no cross-platform support, pipenv may install dependencies that don't work, or not 94 | # install all needed dependencies. 95 | #Pipfile.lock 96 | 97 | # PEP 582; used by e.g. github.com/David-OConnor/pyflow 98 | __pypackages__/ 99 | 100 | # Celery stuff 101 | celerybeat-schedule 102 | celerybeat.pid 103 | 104 | # SageMath parsed files 105 | *.sage.py 106 | 107 | # Environments 108 | .env 109 | .venv 110 | env/ 111 | venv/ 112 | ENV/ 113 | env.bak/ 114 | venv.bak/ 115 | 116 | # Spyder project settings 117 | .spyderproject 118 | .spyproject 119 | 120 | # Rope project settings 121 | .ropeproject 122 | 123 | # mkdocs documentation 124 | /site 125 | 126 | # mypy 127 | .mypy_cache/ 128 | .dmypy.json 129 | dmypy.json 130 | 131 | # Pyre type checker 132 | .pyre/ 133 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/admin.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from discord.ext import commands 2 | import discord 3 | 4 | import datetime 5 | 6 | from settings import MODERATOR_ROLE_NAME 7 | 8 | 9 | class Admin(commands.Cog): 10 | def __init__(self, bot): 11 | self.bot = bot 12 | 13 | @commands.command() 14 | @commands.is_owner() 15 | async def unload(self, ctx, cog: str): 16 | try: 17 | self.bot.unload_extension(cog) 18 | except Exception as e: 19 | await ctx.send("Could not unload cog") 20 | return 21 | await ctx.send("Cog unloaded") 22 | 23 | @commands.command() 24 | @commands.is_owner() 25 | async def load(self, ctx, cog: str): 26 | try: 27 | self.bot.load_extension(cog) 28 | except Exception as e: 29 | await ctx.send("Could not load cog") 30 | return 31 | await ctx.send("Cog loaded") 32 | 33 | @commands.command() 34 | @commands.is_owner() 35 | async def reload(self, ctx, cog: str): 36 | try: 37 | self.bot.unload_extension(cog) 38 | self.bot.load_extension(cog) 39 | except Exception as e: 40 | await ctx.send("Could not reload cog") 41 | return 42 | await ctx.send("Cog reloaded") 43 | 44 | @commands.command() 45 | @commands.is_owner() 46 | async def status(self, ctx, *args): 47 | guild = ctx.guild 48 | 49 | no_voice_channels = len(guild.voice_channels) 50 | no_text_channels = len(guild.text_channels) 51 | 52 | embed = discord.Embed(description="Server Status", 53 | colour=discord.Colour.dark_purple()) 54 | 55 | embed.set_thumbnail( 56 | url="https://www.pinclipart.com/picdir/big/354-3546720_his-2013-helpdesk-support-2x-references-icon-png.png") 57 | 58 | embed.set_image( 59 | url="https://steamcdn-a.akamaihd.net/steam/apps/895400/header.jpg?t=1587144225") 60 | 61 | emoji_string = "" 62 | for e in guild.emojis: 63 | if e.is_usable(): 64 | emoji_string += str(e) 65 | embed.add_field(name="Custom Emojies", 66 | value=emoji_string or "No emojis available", inline=False) 67 | 68 | embed.add_field(name="Server Name", value=guild.name, inline=False) 69 | 70 | embed.add_field(name="# Voice Channels", value=no_voice_channels) 71 | 72 | embed.add_field(name="# Text Channels", value=no_text_channels) 73 | 74 | embed.add_field(name="AFK Channel:", value=guild.afk_channel) 75 | embed.set_author(name=self.bot.user.name) 76 | embed.set_footer(text=datetime.datetime.now()) 77 | await ctx.send(embed=embed) 78 | 79 | 80 | def setup(bot): 81 | bot.add_cog(Admin(bot)) 82 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/lottery.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from discord.ext import commands 2 | import discord 3 | from lottery.controller import LotteryController 4 | 5 | from settings import * 6 | 7 | 8 | class Lottery(commands.Cog): 9 | def __init__(self, bot): 10 | self.bot = bot 11 | 12 | @commands.Cog.listener() 13 | async def on_message(self, message): 14 | if message.author.id == int(DISCORD_WEBHOOK_LOTTERY_ID) and message.channel.id == 705701500881731605: 15 | dc = LotteryController() 16 | numbers = [int(x) for x in message.content.split(',')] 17 | dc.save(numbers) 18 | results = dc.get_drawing_results() 19 | embed = discord.Embed() 20 | embed.add_field(name="6 Correct", value=results['6']) 21 | embed.add_field(name="5 Correct", value=results['5']) 22 | embed.add_field(name="4 Correct", value=results['4']) 23 | embed.add_field(name="3 Correct", value=results['3']) 24 | embed.add_field(name="2 Correct", value=results['2']) 25 | await message.channel.send(embed=embed) 26 | 27 | @commands.group() 28 | async def lottery(self, ctx): 29 | ctx.lottery_con = LotteryController() 30 | 31 | @lottery.command(name="last") 32 | async def lottery_last(self, ctx): 33 | last_drawing = ctx.lottery_con.get_last_drawing() 34 | await ctx.send("Last Drawing: %s " % last_drawing.numbers_as_string()) 35 | 36 | @lottery.command(name="next") 37 | async def lottery_next(self, ctx): 38 | pass 39 | 40 | @lottery.group(name="tickets") 41 | async def lottery_tickets(self, ctx): 42 | c = self.bot.get_command("lottery tickets costs") 43 | await ctx.invoke(c) 44 | 45 | @lottery_tickets.command(name="list") 46 | @commands.dm_only() 47 | async def lottery_tickets_list(self, ctx): 48 | embed = discord.Embed() 49 | for t in ctx.lottery_con.get_my_drawings(ctx.author): 50 | embed.add_field( 51 | name="Ticket", value=t.numbers_as_string(), inline=False) 52 | await ctx.send(embed=embed) 53 | 54 | @lottery_tickets.command(name="costs") 55 | async def lottery_tickets_costs(self, ctx): 56 | await ctx.send("A ticket costs 5 CR.") 57 | 58 | @lottery.command(name="join") 59 | @commands.dm_only() 60 | async def lottery_join(self, ctx, *numbers: int): 61 | if len(numbers) != 6: 62 | await ctx.send("We need six unique numbers!") 63 | return 64 | 65 | duplicates = False 66 | out_of_bounds = False 67 | 68 | for n in numbers: 69 | if numbers.count(n) > 1: 70 | duplicates = True 71 | if n > 49 or n < 1: 72 | out_of_bounds = True 73 | 74 | if duplicates: 75 | await ctx.send("You need 6 unique numbers, please do not repeat a number!") 76 | return 77 | 78 | if out_of_bounds: 79 | await ctx.send("You can only choose 6 unique numbers between and 1 and 49") 80 | return 81 | numbers = sorted(numbers) 82 | ctx.lottery_con.save(numbers, ctx.author) 83 | await ctx.send("Your ticket has entered the lottery.") 84 | 85 | 86 | def setup(bot): 87 | bot.add_cog(Lottery(bot)) 88 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # :bangbang: Attention :bangbang: 2 | THIS REPO IS OUTDATED AND NO LONGER MAINTAINED 3 | 4 | INSTEAD: 5 | A new discord bot series was just released. It makes use of discordpy2. You can find it here: 6 | https://github.com/richardschwabe/discord-bot-2022-course 7 | 8 | The youtube playlist that covers the code is here: 9 | https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLESMQx4LeD3N0-KKPPDaToZhBsom2E_Ju 10 | 11 | # How to use this code 12 | 13 | This code can be used alongside the ULTIMATE DISCORD BOT course. 14 | 15 | [The playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLESMQx4LeD3NmTZ8D1qwQwwSp67kznl-K) can be found here: 16 | 17 | If you wonder what we cover and what you can find in this code have a look at the [Course Introduction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoc1XQm30SA&list=PLESMQx4LeD3NmTZ8D1qwQwwSp67kznl-K&index=2&t=0s) 18 | 19 | If you like the content please consider subscribing to [StartupTechTutorials on Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIJe3dIHGq1lIAxCCwx8eyA/) 20 | 21 | # About the structure 22 | 23 | This Discord Bot uses [Discordpy](https://github.com/Rapptz/discord.py) and its command extension. All discord commands are structured in Cogs. 24 | 25 | # Commands and Cogs 26 | 27 | ## Admin 28 | 29 | - Status 30 | - Load Cog 31 | - Unload Cog 32 | - Reload Cog 33 | 34 | ## Moderation 35 | 36 | - Kick 37 | - Ban 38 | - Unban 39 | 40 | ## Games 41 | 42 | - Rock Paper Scissors 43 | - Hangman Single Player DM game 44 | - Guess a word Multiplayer Temporary Text Channel game 45 | - Lottery Database based multiplayer game with schedule 46 | 47 | ## Images 48 | 49 | - Cat 50 | - Dog 51 | - Fox 52 | - Random 53 | 54 | ## NSFW 55 | 56 | - Insult 57 | 58 | ## Gamble 59 | 60 | - Coin 61 | - Roll 62 | - Dice 63 | 64 | ## Basic 65 | 66 | - owo 67 | - invite 68 | - poke 69 | 70 | # Local Development Instructions 71 | 72 | To start and deploy the bot locally the following steps are required: 73 | 74 | ``` 75 | pip install -r requirements.txt 76 | ``` 77 | 78 | Then create the following files: 79 | 80 | ``` 81 | .env 82 | .env.debug 83 | ``` 84 | 85 | The `.env.debug` file is only parsed when you set an environment variable `DEBUG`. If it is not present it will revert to `.env` 86 | 87 | Contents required for the `.env` or `.env.debug` file: 88 | 89 | ``` 90 | DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN=YOUR_SUBER_SECRET_DISCORD_TOKEN 91 | ``` 92 | 93 | If you want to make use of the reddit commands you also need to register an App/Bot on reddit.com and add the following lines to the .env files: 94 | 95 | ``` 96 | REDDIT_APP_ID=YOU_APP_ID 97 | REDDIT_APP_SECRET=SUPER_SECRET_REDDIT_APP_SECRET 98 | ``` 99 | 100 | If you want to use nodemon to automatically restart the bot while developing create a nodemon config as well: 101 | 102 | ``` 103 | # ./nodemon.json: 104 | { 105 | "env": { 106 | "DEBUG": "true" 107 | } 108 | } 109 | 110 | ``` 111 | 112 | otherwise you can call the bot via: 113 | 114 | ``` 115 | export DEBUG=True python main.py 116 | ``` 117 | 118 | **_Note: export is required when you want to create the environment variable for the current shell AND all processes started from the current shell!_** 119 | 120 | # Note 121 | 122 | - The code is always up to date with the latest episode on the Youtube Channel 123 | - No PR 124 | - There will be more to come, once the tutorial series has finished!! So do come back and stay up to date 125 | 126 | ``` 127 | 128 | ``` 129 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/images.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | 3 | import aiohttp 4 | from discord.ext import commands 5 | import discord 6 | 7 | import praw 8 | 9 | from settings import REDDIT_APP_ID, REDDIT_APP_SECRET, REDDIT_ENABLED_MEME_SUBREDDITS, REDDIT_ENABLED_NSFW_SUBREDDITS 10 | 11 | 12 | class Images(commands.Cog): 13 | def __init__(self, bot): 14 | self.bot = bot 15 | self.reddit = None 16 | if REDDIT_APP_ID and REDDIT_APP_SECRET: 17 | self.reddit = praw.Reddit(client_id=REDDIT_APP_ID, client_secret=REDDIT_APP_SECRET, 18 | user_agent="ULTIMATE_DISCORD_BOT:%s:1.0" % REDDIT_APP_ID) 19 | 20 | @commands.command() 21 | async def random(self, ctx, subreddit: str = ""): 22 | async with ctx.channel.typing(): 23 | if self.reddit: 24 | # start working 25 | nsfw_flag = False 26 | chosen_subreddit = REDDIT_ENABLED_MEME_SUBREDDITS[0] 27 | if subreddit: 28 | # should take default one 29 | if subreddit in REDDIT_ENABLED_MEME_SUBREDDITS: 30 | chosen_subreddit = subreddit 31 | elif subreddit in REDDIT_ENABLED_NSFW_SUBREDDITS: 32 | chosen_subreddit = subreddit 33 | nsfw_flag = True 34 | else: 35 | list_memes = ", ".join(REDDIT_ENABLED_MEME_SUBREDDITS) 36 | list_nsfw = ", ".join(REDDIT_ENABLED_NSFW_SUBREDDITS) 37 | 38 | await ctx.send("Please choose a subreddit of the following list: %s NSFW Channels:%s" % (list_memes, list_nsfw)) 39 | return 40 | 41 | if nsfw_flag: 42 | if not ctx.channel.is_nsfw(): 43 | await ctx.send("This is not allowed here") 44 | return 45 | 46 | submissions = self.reddit.subreddit(chosen_subreddit).hot() 47 | 48 | post_to_pick = random.randint(1, 10) 49 | for i in range(0, post_to_pick): 50 | submission = next(x for x in submissions if not x.stickied) 51 | await ctx.send(submission.url) 52 | 53 | else: 54 | await ctx.send("This is not working. Contact Administrator.") 55 | 56 | @commands.command(brief="Random picture of a meow") 57 | async def cat(self, ctx): 58 | async with ctx.channel.typing(): 59 | async with aiohttp.ClientSession() as cs: 60 | async with cs.get("http://aws.random.cat/meow") as r: 61 | data = await r.json() 62 | 63 | embed = discord.Embed(title="Meow") 64 | embed.set_image(url=data['file']) 65 | embed.set_footer(text="http://random.cat/") 66 | 67 | await ctx.send(embed=embed) 68 | 69 | @commands.command(brief="Random picture of a woof") 70 | async def dog(self, ctx): 71 | async with ctx.channel.typing(): 72 | async with aiohttp.ClientSession() as cs: 73 | async with cs.get("https://random.dog/woof.json") as r: 74 | data = await r.json() 75 | 76 | embed = discord.Embed(title="Woof") 77 | embed.set_image(url=data['url']) 78 | embed.set_footer(text="http://random.dog/") 79 | 80 | await ctx.send(embed=embed) 81 | 82 | @commands.command(brief="Random picture of a floofy") 83 | async def fox(self, ctx): 84 | async with ctx.channel.typing(): 85 | async with aiohttp.ClientSession() as cs: 86 | async with cs.get("https://randomfox.ca/floof/") as r: 87 | data = await r.json() 88 | 89 | embed = discord.Embed(title="Floof") 90 | embed.set_image(url=data['image']) 91 | embed.set_footer(text="https://randomfox.ca/") 92 | 93 | await ctx.send(embed=embed) 94 | 95 | 96 | def setup(bot): 97 | bot.add_cog(Images(bot)) 98 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /cogs/games.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | from discord.ext import commands 3 | import discord 4 | 5 | from rps.model import RPS 6 | from rps.parser import RockPaperScissorParser 7 | from rps.controller import RPSGame 8 | 9 | from hangman.controller import HangmanGame 10 | 11 | from gaw.controller import GuessAWordGame 12 | 13 | 14 | class Games(commands.Cog): 15 | def __init__(self, bot): 16 | self.bot = bot 17 | 18 | @commands.command(usage="rock | paper | scissor") 19 | async def rps(self, ctx, user_choice: RockPaperScissorParser = RockPaperScissorParser(RPS.ROCK)): 20 | """ 21 | Play a game of Rock Paper Scissors 22 | 23 | Either choose rock, paper or scissor and beat the bot 24 | 25 | You cannot challenge another user. Its you vs the bot only! 26 | """ 27 | game_instance = RPSGame() 28 | 29 | user_choice = user_choice.choice 30 | 31 | won, bot_choice = game_instance.run("asd") 32 | 33 | if won is None: 34 | message = "It's a draw! Both chose: %s" % user_choice 35 | elif won is True: 36 | message = "You win: %s vs %s" % (user_choice, bot_choice) 37 | elif won is False: 38 | message = "You lose: %s vs %s" % (user_choice, bot_choice) 39 | 40 | await ctx.send(message) 41 | 42 | @commands.command() 43 | @commands.dm_only() 44 | async def hm(self, ctx, guess: str): 45 | player_id = ctx.author.id 46 | hangman_instance = HangmanGame() 47 | game_over, won = hangman_instance.run(player_id, guess) 48 | 49 | if game_over: 50 | game_over_message = "You did not win" 51 | if won: 52 | game_over_message = "Congrats you won!!" 53 | 54 | game_over_message = game_over_message + \ 55 | " The word was %s" % hangman_instance.get_secret_word() 56 | 57 | await hangman_instance.reset(player_id) 58 | await ctx.send(game_over_message) 59 | 60 | else: 61 | await ctx.send("Progress: %s" % hangman_instance.get_progress_string()) 62 | await ctx.send("Guess so far: %s" % hangman_instance.get_guess_string()) 63 | 64 | @commands.group() 65 | async def gaw(self, ctx): 66 | ctx.gaw_game = GuessAWordGame() 67 | 68 | @gaw.command(name="start") 69 | async def gaw_start(self, ctx, *members: discord.Member): 70 | guild = ctx.guild 71 | author = ctx.author 72 | players = list() 73 | for m in members: 74 | players.append(m) 75 | 76 | channel = await ctx.gaw_game.start_game(guild, author, players) 77 | if channel is None: 78 | await ctx.send("You already have a game. Please close it first") 79 | else: 80 | game = ctx.gaw_game.fetch_game() 81 | await ctx.send("Have fun! Please go to the new game room.") 82 | await channel.send( 83 | "The first round is in the category: %s with a word length of %s" % (game.category, len(game.word))) 84 | 85 | @gaw.command(name="g") 86 | async def gaw_guess(self, ctx, guess: str): 87 | channel = ctx.channel 88 | author = ctx.author 89 | result, hint = ctx.gaw_game.guess(channel.id, guess) 90 | 91 | if result is None: 92 | await ctx.send("You are not allowed to play in this channel!") 93 | elif result is True: 94 | await ctx.send("%s you won!" % author.name) 95 | # start new round 96 | ctx.gaw_game.new_round(channel) 97 | new_round = ctx.gaw_game.fetch_game() 98 | await channel.send( 99 | "New Round! Category: %s with a word length of %s" % (new_round.category, len(new_round.word))) 100 | elif result is False and hint != "": 101 | await ctx.send("%s very close!" % author.name) 102 | 103 | @gaw.command(name="end") 104 | async def gaw_end(self, ctx): 105 | guild = ctx.guild 106 | channel = ctx.channel 107 | await ctx.gaw_game.destroy(guild, channel.id) 108 | 109 | 110 | def setup(bot): 111 | bot.add_cog(Games(bot)) 112 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /gaw/controller.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import random 2 | 3 | from .model import GuessAWord 4 | 5 | games = { 6 | 7 | } 8 | 9 | 10 | class GuessAWordGame: 11 | 12 | current_game = None 13 | 14 | def fetch_game(self): 15 | """ 16 | Simply return the current_game 17 | """ 18 | return self.current_game 19 | 20 | def get_game(self, channel_id): 21 | """ 22 | Loads the game into current_game 23 | """ 24 | self.current_game = None 25 | for g in games.keys(): 26 | if channel_id == g: 27 | self.current_game = games[g] 28 | 29 | def new_round(self, channel): 30 | """ 31 | deletes current game and overwrites the channel game with a new one, starting a new round 32 | """ 33 | self.current_game = None 34 | new_game = self.create_game_instance(channel.id, channel.name) 35 | self.save(new_game) 36 | self.get_game(channel.id) 37 | 38 | def guess(self, channel_id, guess): 39 | """ 40 | Let the user guess the word 41 | """ 42 | self.get_game(channel_id) 43 | if self.current_game is None: 44 | return None 45 | # start playing the game 46 | return self.current_game.guess(guess) 47 | 48 | def create_game_instance(self, channel_id, channel_name): 49 | """ 50 | Creates a new gaw game 51 | """ 52 | random_instance = self.get_random_word() 53 | new_game = GuessAWord( 54 | random_instance['word'], random_instance['category']) 55 | new_game.channel_id = channel_id 56 | new_game.channel_name = channel_name 57 | return new_game 58 | 59 | async def start_game(self, guild, author, players): 60 | """ 61 | Starts a new game in a new channel, invites people, sets permissions etc. 62 | """ 63 | channel_name = "gaw-game-%s" % author.name 64 | existing_channel = self.get_channel_by_name(guild, channel_name) 65 | if existing_channel is None: 66 | channel = await self.create_channel(guild, channel_name) 67 | await self.set_permissions(guild, channel, players) 68 | 69 | new_game = self.create_game_instance(channel.id, channel.name) 70 | 71 | self.save(new_game) 72 | self.get_game(channel.id) 73 | 74 | return channel 75 | 76 | return None 77 | 78 | def save(self, game): 79 | """ 80 | Saves a game into the games object by channel id 81 | """ 82 | games[game.channel_id] = game 83 | 84 | async def destroy(self, guild, channel_id): 85 | """ 86 | Removes game from games object and deletes channel 87 | """ 88 | games.pop(channel_id) 89 | await self.delete_channel(guild, channel_id) 90 | 91 | async def delete_channel(self, guild, channel_id): 92 | """ 93 | Deletes a text channel by its id 94 | """ 95 | channel = guild.get_channel(channel_id) 96 | await channel.delete() 97 | 98 | async def set_permissions(self, guild, channel, players): 99 | """ 100 | Sets permission for a channel, for the default_role of the server 101 | and discord.Member objects 102 | """ 103 | await channel.set_permissions(guild.default_role, view_channel=False, send_messages=False) 104 | 105 | for p in players: 106 | await channel.set_permissions(p, view_channel=True, send_messages=True) 107 | 108 | async def create_channel(self, guild, channel_name): 109 | """ 110 | Creates a new channel in the category "Game" 111 | """ 112 | category = self.get_category_by_name(guild, "Games") 113 | await guild.create_text_channel(channel_name, category=category) 114 | channel = self.get_channel_by_name(guild, channel_name) 115 | return channel 116 | 117 | def get_channel_by_name(self, guild, channel_name): 118 | """ 119 | Get channel object by channel_name 120 | """ 121 | channel = None 122 | for c in guild.channels: 123 | if c.name == channel_name.lower(): 124 | channel = c 125 | break 126 | return channel 127 | 128 | def get_category_by_name(self, guild, category_name): 129 | """ 130 | Get category object by category name 131 | """ 132 | category = None 133 | for c in guild.categories: 134 | if c.name == category_name: 135 | category = c 136 | break 137 | return category 138 | 139 | def get_random_word(self): 140 | """ 141 | Get a random word for our gaw game 142 | """ 143 | return random.choice([ 144 | { 145 | 'word': "python", 146 | 'category': "Development" 147 | }, 148 | { 149 | 'word': "tree", 150 | 'category': "Nature" 151 | }, 152 | { 153 | 'word': "audi", 154 | 'category': "Cars" 155 | }, 156 | { 157 | 'word': "Discord", 158 | 'category': "Companies" 159 | }, 160 | ]) 161 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /LICENSE: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | GNU GENERAL PUBLIC LICENSE 2 | Version 3, 29 June 2007 3 | 4 | Copyright (C) 2007 Free Software Foundation, Inc. 5 | Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim copies 6 | of this license document, but changing it is not allowed. 7 | 8 | Preamble 9 | 10 | The GNU General Public License is a free, copyleft license for 11 | software and other kinds of works. 12 | 13 | The licenses for most software and other practical works are designed 14 | to take away your freedom to share and change the works. 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Interpretation of Sections 15 and 16. 613 | 614 | If the disclaimer of warranty and limitation of liability provided 615 | above cannot be given local legal effect according to their terms, 616 | reviewing courts shall apply local law that most closely approximates 617 | an absolute waiver of all civil liability in connection with the 618 | Program, unless a warranty or assumption of liability accompanies a 619 | copy of the Program in return for a fee. 620 | 621 | END OF TERMS AND CONDITIONS 622 | 623 | How to Apply These Terms to Your New Programs 624 | 625 | If you develop a new program, and you want it to be of the greatest 626 | possible use to the public, the best way to achieve this is to make it 627 | free software which everyone can redistribute and change under these terms. 628 | 629 | To do so, attach the following notices to the program. It is safest 630 | to attach them to the start of each source file to most effectively 631 | state the exclusion of warranty; and each file should have at least 632 | the "copyright" line and a pointer to where the full notice is found. 633 | 634 | 635 | Copyright (C) 636 | 637 | This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify 638 | it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by 639 | the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or 640 | (at your option) any later version. 641 | 642 | This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, 643 | but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of 644 | MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the 645 | GNU General Public License for more details. 646 | 647 | You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License 648 | along with this program. If not, see . 649 | 650 | Also add information on how to contact you by electronic and paper mail. 651 | 652 | If the program does terminal interaction, make it output a short 653 | notice like this when it starts in an interactive mode: 654 | 655 | Copyright (C) 656 | This program comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY; for details type `show w'. 657 | This is free software, and you are welcome to redistribute it 658 | under certain conditions; type `show c' for details. 659 | 660 | The hypothetical commands `show w' and `show c' should show the appropriate 661 | parts of the General Public License. Of course, your program's commands 662 | might be different; for a GUI interface, you would use an "about box". 663 | 664 | You should also get your employer (if you work as a programmer) or school, 665 | if any, to sign a "copyright disclaimer" for the program, if necessary. 666 | For more information on this, and how to apply and follow the GNU GPL, see 667 | . 668 | 669 | The GNU General Public License does not permit incorporating your program 670 | into proprietary programs. If your program is a subroutine library, you 671 | may consider it more useful to permit linking proprietary applications with 672 | the library. If this is what you want to do, use the GNU Lesser General 673 | Public License instead of this License. But first, please read 674 | . 675 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/jokes.json: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | { 2 | "fat": [ 3 | "Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.", 4 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.", 5 | "Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.", 6 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell \"taxi!\"", 7 | "Yo mama is so fat and dumb that the only reason she opened her email was because she heard it contained spam.", 8 | "Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica.", 9 | "Yo mama is so fat that she looked up cheat codes for Wii Fit", 10 | "Yo mama is so fat that the only exercise she gets is when she chases the ice cream truck.", 11 | "Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.", 12 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.", 13 | "Yo mama is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.", 14 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.", 15 | "Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops.", 16 | "Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.", 17 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.", 18 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad.", 19 | "Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through!", 20 | "Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean...", 21 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.", 22 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it's a long distance call.", 23 | "Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.", 24 | "Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her.", 25 | "Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!", 26 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.", 27 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.", 28 | "Yo mama is so fat that even god can't lift her spirit.", 29 | "Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.", 30 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development.", 31 | "Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.", 32 | "Yo mama is so fat that she comes at you from all directions.", 33 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she climbed onto a diving board at the beach, the lifeguard told your dad \"sorry, you can't park here\".", 34 | "Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.", 35 | "Yo mama is so fat that she looks like shegs smuggling a Volkswagen.", 36 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy's word for it.", 37 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it's over for everybody.", 38 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton to display her picture.", 39 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she was growing up she didngt play with dolls, she played with midgets.", 40 | "Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades.", 41 | "Yo mama's so fat she blew up the Deathstar.", 42 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.", 43 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.", 44 | "Yo mama is so fat that she broke the Stairway to Heaven.", 45 | "Yo mama is so fat that she doesngt eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.", 46 | "Yo mama is so fat that the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.", 47 | "Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers wongt look at her.", 48 | "Yo mama is so fat that the highway patrol made her wear a sign saying \"Caution! Wide Turn\".", 49 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!", 50 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads \"one at a time, please\".", 51 | "Yo mama is so fat that she fell in love and broke it.", 52 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says \"We don't do livestock\".", 53 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she tripped on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.", 54 | "Yo mama is so fat that God couldn't light the Earth until she moved!", 55 | "Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!", 56 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.", 57 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of June.", 58 | "Yo mama is so fat that she could fall down and wouldngt even know it.", 59 | "Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, “Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma.”", 60 | "Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.", 61 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.", 62 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.", 63 | "Yo mama is so fat that she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.", 64 | "Yo mama is so fat that her bellybuttongs got an echo.", 65 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.", 66 | "Yo mama is so fat that her belly button doesngt have lint, it has sweaters.", 67 | "Yo mama is so fat that a picture of her would fall off the wall.", 68 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower, her feet dongt get wet.", 69 | "Yo mama is so fat that she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller!", 70 | "Yo mama is so fat that she could sell shade.", 71 | "Yo mama is so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost.", 72 | "Yo mama is so fat that the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.", 73 | "Yo mama is so fat that when shegs standing on the corner police drive by and yell, “Hey, break it up.”", 74 | "Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is Ragu.", 75 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.", 76 | "Yo mama is so fat that she cangt even fit into an AOL chat room.", 77 | "Yo mama is so fat when she goes skydiving she doesn't use a parachute to land, she uses a twin-engine plane!", 78 | "Yo mama is so fat MTX audio's subwoofers couldn't rattle her bones!", 79 | "Yo mama is so fat her headphones are a pair of PA speakers connected to a car amplifier.", 80 | "Yo mama is so fat that she doesngt have a tailor, she has a contractor.", 81 | "Yo mama is so fat that eating contests have banned her because she is unfair competition.", 82 | "Yo mama is so fat that she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.", 83 | "Yo mama is so fat that she gets her toenails painted at Luckygs Auto Body.", 84 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!", 85 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!", 86 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!", 87 | "Yo mama is so fat that she influences the tides.", 88 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she goes \"New York, L.A., Chicago...\"", 89 | "Yo mama is so fat that NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!", 90 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.", 91 | "Yo mama is so fat that they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!", 92 | "Yo mama is so fat that she's on both sides of the family!", 93 | "Yo mama is so fat that at the zoo, the elephants throw HER peanuts.", 94 | "Yo mama is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.", 95 | "Yo mama is so fat that she sets off car alarms when she runs.", 96 | "Yo mama is so fat that she cant reach into her back pocket.", 97 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has her own gravity field.", 98 | "Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.", 99 | "Yo mama is so fat that the only pictures you have of her were taken by satellite cameras.", 100 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a \"Malcolm X\" T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!", 101 | "Yo mama is so fat that it took Usain Bolt 3 years to run around her.", 102 | "Yo mama so fat that she sweats more than a dog in a chinese restaurant.", 103 | "Yo mama so fat, that went she stepped in the water, Thailand had to declare another tsunami warning.", 104 | "Yo mama is so fat that that she cant tie her own shoes.", 105 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling Free Willy.", 106 | "Yo mama is so fat that she uses redwoods to pick her teeth", 107 | "Yo mama is so fat that she cut her leg and gravy poured out", 108 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was in the Macygs Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.", 109 | "Yo mama is so fat that she went on a light diet. As soon as it's light she starts eating.", 110 | "Yo mama is so fat that shegs half Italian, half Irish, and half American.", 111 | "Yo mama is so fat that her waist size is the Equator.", 112 | "Yo mama is so fat that she cangt even jump to a conclusion.", 113 | "Yo mama is so fat that she uses a mattress for a tampon.", 114 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she got hit by a bus, she said, \"Who threw that rock at me?\"", 115 | "Yo mama is so fat that we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay for her because we dressed her up as a Toyota.", 116 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.", 117 | "Yo mama is so fat that she was cut from the cast of E.T., because she caused an eclipse when she rode the bike across the moon.", 118 | "Yo mama is so fat that when you get on top of her your ears pop.", 119 | "Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.", 120 | "Yo mama is so fat that she eats \"Wheat Thicks\".", 121 | "Yo mama is so fat that we're in her right now!", 122 | "Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.", 123 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.", 124 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she wants to shake someones hand, she has to give directions!", 125 | "Yo mama is so fat that even Dora can't explore her!", 126 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says \"to be continued\".", 127 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a resturant, she looks at the menu and says \"okay!\"", 128 | "Yo mama is so fat that even Chuck Norris couldn't run around her.", 129 | "Yo mama is so fat that her neck looks like a dozen hot dogs!", 130 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!", 131 | "Yo mama is so fat that she's got her own area code!", 132 | "Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!", 133 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets.", 134 | "Yo mama is so fat that whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!", 135 | "Yo mama is so fat that she's got Amtrak written on her leg.", 136 | "Yo mama is so fat that her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!", 137 | "Yo mama is so fat that I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!", 138 | "Yo mama is so fat that she wakes up in sections!", 139 | "Yo mama so fat, all she wants for Christmas is to see her feet.", 140 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she lies on the beach no one else gets any sun!", 141 | "Yo mama is so fat that that her senior pictures had to be taken from a helicopter!", 142 | "Yo mama is so fat that everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!", 143 | "Yo mama is so fat that she fell and created the Grand Canyon!", 144 | "Yo mama is so fat that her butt drags on the ground and kids yell - \"there goes santa claus with his bag of toys!\"", 145 | "Yo mama is so fat that even her clothes have stretch marks!", 146 | "Yo mama is so fat that she has to use a VCR as a beeper!", 147 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she asked for a waterbed, they put a blanket over the ocean!", 148 | "Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a parked car!", 149 | "Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.", 150 | "Yo mama is so fat that when we were playing Call of Duty, I got a 20 kill streak for killing her.", 151 | "Yo mama is so fat that Dracula got Type 2 Diabetes after biting her neck.", 152 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she visited Toronto's City Hall, she was arrested for attempting to smuggle 500 lbs of crack into Mayor Rob Ford's office.", 153 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.", 154 | "Yo mama is so fat that that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.", 155 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she went to church and sat on a bible, Jesus came out and said \"LET MY PEOPLE GO!\"", 156 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.", 157 | "Yo mama is so fat that she stands in two time zones.", 158 | "Yo mama is so fat that she went to the fair and the kids thought she was a bouncy castle.", 159 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.", 160 | "Yo mama is so fat that the camera TAKES AWAY 10 lbs from her appearance.", 161 | "Yo mama is so fat that her sedan can fit 5 people... or just yo mama with the front seats removed.", 162 | "Yo mama is so fat that when she went to seaworld the whales started singing \"We Are Family\".", 163 | "Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.", 164 | "Yo mama is so fat that the stripes on her pajamas never end.", 165 | "Yo mama is so fat, Al Gore accuses her of global warning everytime she farts!", 166 | "Yo mama is so fat that she's got every caterer in the city on speed dial!", 167 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it shows her own phone number.", 168 | "Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet - she's worldwide.", 169 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it reads \"lose some weight\".", 170 | "Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't get dreams, she gets movies!", 171 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she walks, she changes the earth's rotation!", 172 | "Yo mama is so fat that she uses the entire country of Mexico as her tanning bed.", 173 | "Yo mama's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!", 174 | "Yo mama's so fat that a wingardium leviosa spell couldn't lift her.", 175 | "Yo mama's so fat, she makes Hagrid look like \"Mini-me\".", 176 | "Yo mama's so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.", 177 | "Yo Mama's so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.", 178 | "Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.", 179 | "Yo mama is so fat that the ratio of the circumference to her diameter is four.", 180 | "Yo mama is so fat that her derivative is strictly positive.", 181 | "Yo mama is so fat that in a love triangle, she'd be the hypotenuse.", 182 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she asked me \"what's up?\" I said \"your weight!\"", 183 | "Yo mama's so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.", 184 | "Yo mama's so fat, she used the invisibility cloak as a bib.", 185 | "Yo mama's so fat that even the Dementors can't suck her soul out in one sitting.", 186 | "Yo mama's so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!", 187 | "Yo mama's so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill.", 188 | "Yo mama's so fat that the sorting hat couldn't decide where to put her - she couldn't fit in any of the houses!!", 189 | "Yo mama's so fat, she ate the Death Eaters.", 190 | "Yo mama's so fat that it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her!", 191 | "Yo mama's so fat that even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks.", 192 | "Yo mama's so fat even Grawp can't pick her up!", 193 | "Yo mama's so fat they'd have to use transfiguration to sneak her through the hole in the Gryffindor Tower.", 194 | "Ya mama's so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.", 195 | "Yo mama's so fat the core of her wand has a creame filling.", 196 | "Yo mama's so fat that a $700 billion bailout would only keep her fed for a week.", 197 | "Yo mama's so fat that the housing bubble popped because she sat on it!", 198 | "Yo mama's so fat that she supported the bailout just because she wanted a 'barrel of pork'.", 199 | "Yo mama's so fat that even Mitt Romney couldn't afford to take her out to dinner!", 200 | "Yo mama's so fat that her biography is called \"The Audacity of Hardee's\".", 201 | "Yo mama's so fat that Sarah Palin can see her from her house.", 202 | "Yo mama's so fat that Sarah Palin can't see Russia anymore!.", 203 | "Yo mama's so fat that \"ACORN\" registered her to vote eight times!", 204 | "Yo mama's so fat that even the Death Star couldn't blow her up!", 205 | "Yo mama's so fat that Spock couldn't find a pressure point to perform the Vulcan Death Grip on her.", 206 | "Yo mama's so fat the odds against not finding her fat are approximately 3,720 to 1.", 207 | "Yo mama's so fat that she thought the opening line of Kirk's monologue was \"Spice, the final Frontier...\"", 208 | "Yo mama's so fat that if she were placed beside a changeling during regeneration, no one would know the difference.", 209 | "Yo mama's so fat that she tried to fly through a temporal anomoly but she didn't fit.", 210 | "Yo mama's so fat she makes Riker's belly look 3 atoms thick.", 211 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she tried to captain a galaxy class they had to separate the saucer so she could fit.", 212 | "Yo mama's so fat that she makes the USS Enterprise look like a micro machines racer.", 213 | "Yo mama's so fat that Dexster Jettster mistook her for his wife.", 214 | "Yo mama's so fat that only half her body was able to come out frozen from the carbon freezing chamber in Cloud City.", 215 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she beams to a ship, the ship beams inside of her.", 216 | "Yo mama's so fat that the passengers of the Millenium Falcon mistook her for a small moon.", 217 | "Yo mama's so fat that Gardulla the Hutt had a boost in self-esteem after seeing her.", 218 | "Yo mama's so fat that she fell to the dark side and couldn't get back up.", 219 | "Yo mama's so fat that if she was thrown into the second Death Star's reactor core, she could have blown up the entire Imperial fleet.", 220 | "Yo mama's so fat that the Kaminoans couldn't use her as a host for clones since they couldn't pierce her skin deep enough to draw blood.", 221 | "Yo mama's so fat that she caused Kamino to flood when her water broke.", 222 | "Yo mama's so fat that her lack of balance caused her to stumble into an Utapau sinkhole.", 223 | "Yo mama's so fat that she crushed Boga as soon as she mounted her.", 224 | "Yo Mama's so fat, that in an attempt to beam her up, the ship ended up being pulled down to the surface.", 225 | "Yo Mama's so fat that when she walks into a room the replicators stop working.", 226 | "Yo Mama's so fat, Data feels strong emotions of disgust and self-terminates.", 227 | "Yo Mama's so fat she wears her own inertia dampener.", 228 | "Yo Mama's so fat, she managed to contain a warp core breach.", 229 | "Yo Mama's so fat, she got stuck trying to enter the Nexus.", 230 | "Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she punched a hole in the fabric of space/time.", 231 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on the scale, her weight was OVER 9000!!!", 232 | "Yo Mama's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and I missed three seasons of Inuyasha!", 233 | "Yo mama's so fat, Naruto couldnt make enough clones to see all sides of her.", 234 | "Yo mama's so fat that the Dragon Ball Z crew uses her to make craters on set.", 235 | "Yo mama's so fat that when she sat down on a park bench, she caused the Naruto timeskip.", 236 | "Yo mama's so fat, she scared L into giving up all sweets.", 237 | "Yo mama's so fat that she cant even fit in the expanding plug suit.", 238 | "Yo mama's so fat that she broke the HP limit!", 239 | "Yo mama's so fat, she makes Vash look anorexic!", 240 | "Yo Mama So Fat, she can't fit through the moon door.", 241 | "Yo mama's so fat that she was mistaken for Mt. Fuji at the Sakura festival.", 242 | "Yo mama's so fat she makes a Snorlax look like a chihuahua!", 243 | "Yo mama's so fat that it took the entire Dragon Ball Z crew 1 week just to lift her off the ground.", 244 | "Yo mama's so fat that she tried to eat someone dressed as a box of Pocky!", 245 | "Yo mama's so fat, Choji told her to lose weight.", 246 | "Yo mama so fat, they've been calling her \"the wall\" for thousands of years!", 247 | "Yo mama so fat, she Winter-fell and couldn't get up!", 248 | "Yo mama so fat, even Roose Bolton won't touch her", 249 | "Yo mama's so fat that she expresses her weight in scientific notation.", 250 | "Yo mama's so fat that scientists track her position by observing anomalies in Pluto's orbit.", 251 | "Yo mama's so fat that a recursive function computing her weight causes a stack overflow.", 252 | "Yo mama's so fat that the long double numeric variable type in C++ is insufficient to express her weight.", 253 | "Yo mama's so fat that THX can't even surround her.", 254 | "Yo mama's so fat that she and the great wall of China are used as reference points when astronauts look back at the Earth.", 255 | "Yo mama's so fat that China uses her to block the internet.", 256 | "Yo mama's so fat that NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.", 257 | "Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.", 258 | "Yo mama's so fat that IEEE is working on a wifi protocol so people can get the signals to reach users on opposite sides of her. It's called 802.11 Draft Fat Momma", 259 | "Yo mama's so fat, the cyberman DOWNgraded her.", 260 | "Yo mama's so fat, she's bigger than both the outside AND the inside of the Tardis", 261 | "Yo mama's so fat, the Pirate Planet tried to take her over.", 262 | "Yo Mama's so fat that when she got upgraded by the cybermen, they turned her into an ice cream truck", 263 | "Yo mama's so fat, the Doctor caught her eating his psychic paper, thinking it was a burger.", 264 | "Yo mama's so fat, it doesn't matter that the Tardis is bigger on the inside. She can't get through the door.", 265 | "Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to make her disappear." 266 | ], 267 | "stupid": [ 268 | "Yo mama is so stupid that it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!", 269 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon.", 270 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she saw the \"Under 17 not admitted\" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.", 271 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she went for a blood test, she asked for time to study.", 272 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked in a grocery store and starved!", 273 | "Yo mama is so stupid that you have to dig for her IQ!", 274 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tripped over a cordless phone!", 275 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she sold her car for gas money!", 276 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she told everyone that she was \"illegitimate\" because she couldn't read.", 277 | "Yo mama is so stupid that that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!", 278 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Dr. Pepper.", 279 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.", 280 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!", 281 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.", 282 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put \"OK\".", 283 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.", 284 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said \"concentrate\".", 285 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she asked me what yield meant, I said \"Slow down\" and she said \"What... does.... yield... mean?\"", 286 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team!", 287 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call.", 288 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.", 289 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.", 290 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind it.", 291 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she failed a survey.", 292 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.", 293 | "Yo mama is so stupid, she went to the aquarium to buy a Blu-Ray.", 294 | "Yo mama is so stupid that I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart.", 295 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window.", 296 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.", 297 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale.", 298 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said \"Press any key to continue\", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.", 299 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.", 300 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said \"Cherry or Grape?\"", 301 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager.", 302 | "Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.", 303 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she locked her keys in the car, it took her all day to get Yo family out.", 304 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.", 305 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she pulled into the drive-thru at McDonald's, she drove through the window.", 306 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put 2 quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 cent.", 307 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she was on the corner with a sign that said \"Will eat for food.\"", 308 | "Yo mama is so stupid that in the 'No Child Left Behind' act there's a provision that exempts yo mama.", 309 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked in a Furniture store and slept on the floor.", 310 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.", 311 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.", 312 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she brought a cup to the movie \"Juice.\"", 313 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.", 314 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she uses Old Spice for cooking.", 315 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she threw a rock the ground and missed.", 316 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.", 317 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tries to email people by putting envelopes into her computer's disk drive.", 318 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she took an IQ test, the results came out negative.", 319 | "Yo mama's so stupid that she though Jar-Jar came with Pickles-Pickles.", 320 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.", 321 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind", 322 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.", 323 | "Yo mama is so stupid, that she thought Moby Dick was a sexually transmitted disease.", 324 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.", 325 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she took a spoon to the superbowl.", 326 | "Yo mama is so stupid that that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.", 327 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.", 328 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!", 329 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.", 330 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she ordered her sushi well done.", 331 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.", 332 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.", 333 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.", 334 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said \"Hold the cheese.\"", 335 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.", 336 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.", 337 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather.", 338 | "Yo mama is so stupid that I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.", 339 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she wiped her ass before she took a shit.", 340 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tries to insult you with yo mama jokes.", 341 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put a peephole in a glass door.", 342 | "Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.", 343 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.", 344 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she saw a \"Wrong Way\" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.", 345 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she shoved a AA battery up her butt and said \"I got the power!\"", 346 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.", 347 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she sold the house to pay the mortgage.", 348 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when I asked her about X-Men she said \"Sure, there's Bobby my first baby daddy, Roger the guy I see on Thursdays...\"", 349 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought meow mix was a record for cats.", 350 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she took lessons for a player piano.", 351 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she said \"what's that letter after x\" and I said Y she said \"Cause I wanna know\".", 352 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said \"Ummm... Levis?\"", 353 | "Yo mama is so stupid that if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.", 354 | "Yo mama is so stupid that it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.", 355 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she asked for a price check at the dollar store.", 356 | "Yo mama is so stupid that on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.", 357 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box.", 358 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks a stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.", 359 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.", 360 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.", 361 | "Yo mama is so stupid that the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.", 362 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.", 363 | "Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.", 364 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.", 365 | "Yo mama is so stupid that if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.", 366 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Mick Jagger was a breakfast sandwich!", 367 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she heard her neighbour was spanking the monkey, she called the humane society.", 368 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she took you to the airport and a sign said \"Airport Left,\" she turned around and went home.", 369 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.", 370 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she asked you \"What is the number for 911?\"", 371 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks a quarterback is a refund!", 372 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she bought a solar-powered flashlight!", 373 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.", 374 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.", 375 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she picked up the phone and asked \"What button do I push?\"", 376 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said \"Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone.\"", 377 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she got hit by a parked car.", 378 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when her husband lost his marbles she ran to the store and bought him new ones.", 379 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.", 380 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said \"Ok, but what's the teams?\"", 381 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!", 382 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when the judge said \"Order in the court,\" she said \"I'll have a hamburger and a Coke.\"", 383 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she wiped her ass before she took a shit.", 384 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks socialism means partying!", 385 | "Yo mama is so stupid that when asked on an application, \"Sex?\", she marked, \"M, F, and wrote sometimes Wednesday too.\"", 386 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks deadbeat is a type of music.", 387 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.", 388 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put two M&M's in her ears and thought she was listening to Eminem.", 389 | "Yo mama is so stupid that at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Scorpio.", 390 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.", 391 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a curb.", 392 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she put on bug spray before going to the flea market.", 393 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she stole free bread.", 394 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she locked her keys inside a motorcycle.", 395 | "Yo mama's so stupid that she got locked inside a motorcycle.", 396 | "Yo mama's so stupid that she went to the dentist to get a bluetooth.", 397 | "Yo mama's so stupid that she bought tickets to Xbox Live.", 398 | "Yo mama's so stupid that whenever someone rings the doorbell, she checks the microwave.", 399 | "Yo mama's so stupid that when she broke her VCR, she bought a video tape on how to fix your VCR.", 400 | "Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.", 401 | "Yo mama so dumb, she lost a spelling bee to Hodor", 402 | "Yo Mama so dumb, she thought Bran Stark was a type of muffin." 403 | ], 404 | "ugly": [ 405 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to a beautician it took 12 hours... to get a quote!", 406 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.", 407 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.", 408 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone!", 409 | "Yo mama is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday!", 410 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she scares the roaches away.", 411 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she scared the crap out of the toilet.", 412 | "Yo mama is so ugly that... well... look at you!", 413 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.", 414 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.", 415 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.", 416 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step.", 417 | "Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.", 418 | "Yo mama is so ugly that we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.", 419 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.", 420 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.", 421 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.", 422 | "Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.", 423 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!", 424 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say \"Wow, is it Halloween already?\"", 425 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.", 426 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.", 427 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.", 428 | "Yo mama is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!", 429 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she uploaded a photo of herself to a computer, it was rejected by the anti-virus software.", 430 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said \"Sorry, no professionals.\"", 431 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could make a freight train take a dirt road.", 432 | "Yo mama is so ugly that that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.", 433 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she drove past area 51, she was thought to be extraterrestrial life. They took her away never to be seen again.", 434 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints", 435 | "Yo mama is so ugly that you have to tie a steak around her neck so the dog will play with her!", 436 | "Yo mama is so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said \"What a treasure!\" and her father said \"Yes, let's go bury it.\"", 437 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!", 438 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.", 439 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!", 440 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion tells her to \"Stay Over There!\"", 441 | "Yo mama is so ugly that neither Jacob nor Edward want her on their team.", 442 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.", 443 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.", 444 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.", 445 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.", 446 | "Yo mama is so ugly that even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.", 447 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born, the doctor slapped her AND her parents!", 448 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit by the whole damn tree.", 449 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.", 450 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.", 451 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.", 452 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.", 453 | "Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.", 454 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.", 455 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people at the circus pay money not to see her.", 456 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror it says \"viewer discretion is advised.\"", 457 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.", 458 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.", 459 | "Yo mama is so ugly that Santa pays an elf to drop off her gifts at Christmas.", 460 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.", 461 | "Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.", 462 | "Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.", 463 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.", 464 | "Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said \"\"", 465 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to a beautician it took 12 hours... to get a quote!", 466 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.", 467 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.", 468 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone!", 469 | "Yo mama is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday!", 470 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she scares the roaches away.", 471 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she scared the crap out of the toilet.", 472 | "Yo mama is so ugly that... well... look at you!", 473 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.", 474 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.", 475 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.", 476 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step.", 477 | "Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.", 478 | "Yo mama is so ugly that we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.", 479 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.", 480 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.", 481 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.", 482 | "Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.", 483 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!", 484 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say \"Wow, is it Halloween already?\"", 485 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.", 486 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.", 487 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.", 488 | "Yo mama is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!", 489 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she uploaded a photo of herself to a computer, it was rejected by the anti-virus software.", 490 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said \"Sorry, no professionals.\"", 491 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could make a freight train take a dirt road.", 492 | "Yo mama is so ugly that that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.", 493 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she drove past area 51, she was thought to be extraterrestrial life. They took her away never to be seen again.", 494 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints", 495 | "Yo mama is so ugly that you have to tie a steak around her neck so the dog will play with her!", 496 | "Yo mama is so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said \"What a treasure!\" and her father said \"Yes, let's go bury it.\"", 497 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!", 498 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.", 499 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!", 500 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion tells her to \"Stay Over There!\"", 501 | "Yo mama is so ugly that neither Jacob nor Edward want her on their team.", 502 | "Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.", 503 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.", 504 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.", 505 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.", 506 | "Yo mama is so ugly that even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.", 507 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born, the doctor slapped her AND her parents!", 508 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit by the whole damn tree.", 509 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.", 510 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.", 511 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.", 512 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.", 513 | "Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.", 514 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.", 515 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people at the circus pay money not to see her.", 516 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror it says \"viewer discretion is advised.\"", 517 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.", 518 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.", 519 | "Yo mama is so ugly that Santa pays an elf to drop off her gifts at Christmas.", 520 | "Yo mama is so ugly that people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.", 521 | "Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.", 522 | "Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.", 523 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.", 524 | "Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said \"Thanks for bringing her back.\"", 525 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.", 526 | "Yo mama is so ugly that her face is blurred on her driver's license.", 527 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she walked out of her house, the neighbours called animal control.", 528 | "Yo mama is so ugly that the FCC requires her face to be blurred when she's on TV, because of decency rules.", 529 | "Yo mama is so ugly that a sculpture of her face is used when torturing prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.", 530 | "Yo mama is so ugly that government intelligence agencies have to pixelize her face when spying on her.", 531 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.", 532 | "Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like someone did the stanky leg dance on her face.", 533 | "Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.", 534 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she put the Boogie Man out of business!", 535 | "Yo mama is so ugly that she made Barack Obama lose hope!", 536 | "Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.", 537 | "Yo Mama's so ugly she did the truly impossible: she made Captain James T Kirk's penis go limp.", 538 | "Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even get tentacle raped.", 539 | "Yo mama's so ugly, even Tamaki wouldn't hit on her.", 540 | "Yo mama's so ugly, she's the real reason sasuke left the village.", 541 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she's like a Death Note. Get someone to look at her, and they'll die!", 542 | "Yo mama's so ugly, Jiraiya saw her and turned gay!", 543 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she made Spike Spiegel choke on his cigarette", 544 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she makes Sailor Bubba feel dirty.", 545 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she made Loz cry.", 546 | "Yo mama's so ugly that Wuher said 'We don't serve your kind here'.", 547 | "Yo mama's so ugly that the term 'bantha poodoo' wasn't used metaphorically with reference to her.", 548 | "Yo mama's so ugly that Dr. Evazan looks like a male supermodel next to her.", 549 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she made doctor McCoy say \"Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Zoologist!\"", 550 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she's probably a Shi'ido Clawdite that stays in her regular form all the time.", 551 | "Yo Mama's so ugly even Data would need special eye googles to look at her.", 552 | "Yo mama's so ugly her Kazon hairdo is an improvement!", 553 | "Yo Mama's so ugly even a Ferengi would dress her in clothes.", 554 | "Yo mama's so ugly, Saya thought she was a Chiropteran.", 555 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when Nozomu Itoshiki saw her, he didn't even bother with his \"ZETSUBOUSHITA!\" speech - he skipped straight to hanging himself.", 556 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when Kakashi looked directly at her, he lost an eye.", 557 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she makes Orochimaru look beautiful.", 558 | "Yo Mama so Ugly, she got turned down for \"Girls Gone Wilding\"", 559 | "Yo mama so ugly, winter turned around and left!", 560 | "Yo mama's so ugly that Dalek's don't actually say 'Exterminate' when they see her, because they figure somebody else already got there first!", 561 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when she looks into the Tardis, the Tardis doesn't look into her.", 562 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when the Daleks Exterminate her, it's not for domination.", 563 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when Captain Jack Harkness saw her, he actually died.", 564 | "Yo mama's so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!", 565 | "Yo mama's so ugly that the whomping willow saw her and died.", 566 | "Yo Mama's so ugly, everybody calls her \"She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked\"", 567 | "Yo mama's so ugly that the Dementor's Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.", 568 | "Yo Mama's so ugly that even Voldemort won't say her name.", 569 | "Yo mama's so ugly that she lost a beauty contest to Mountain Troll.", 570 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when the bassalisk snuck up on her and saw her face, HE dropped dead.", 571 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.", 572 | "Yo mama's so ugly she turned the Basilisk to stone.", 573 | "Yo mama's so ugly that Voldemort took one look at her and killed HIMSELF!\"", 574 | "Yo mama's so ugly, she thought that Hogwarts were the growth on her thigh.", 575 | "Yo mama's so ugly that as a baby they had to use the Confundus Charm so the family would play with her.", 576 | "Yo mama's so ugly she scares the Dementors away.", 577 | "Yo mama's so ugly that when she asked Crabbe to take her to the Yule Ball, he decided to go with Goyle instead!", 578 | "Yo mama's so ugly that you could put lipstick on a pig and it would look ten times better than her!", 579 | "Yo mama is so ugly, that Pythagoras wouldn't touch her with a 3-4-5 triangle." 580 | ], 581 | "nasty": [ 582 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she has more rappers in her than an iPod.", 583 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she makes speed stick slow down.", 584 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she brings crabs to the beach.", 585 | "Yo mama is so nasty that that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.", 586 | "Yo mama is so nasty that the fishery pays her to stay away.", 587 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.", 588 | "Yo mama is so nasty that a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.", 589 | "Yo mama is so nasty that I chatted with her on MSN and she gave me a virus.", 590 | "Yo mama is so nasty that her tits leak sour milk.", 591 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.", 592 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she bit the dog and gave it rabies.", 593 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she has a sign by her crotch that says: \"Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts.\"", 594 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she's got more clap than an auditorium.", 595 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she calls Janet \"Miss Jackson.\"", 596 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she has more crabs then Red Lobster.", 597 | "Yo mama is so nasty that she made right guard turn left.", 598 | "Yo mama is so nasty that I when I talked to her on the phone, she gave me an ear infection.", 599 | "Yo mama is so nasty that next to her a skunk smells sweet.", 600 | "Yo mama is so nasty that her shit is glad to escape.", 601 | "Yo mama is so nasty that when you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing the oxygen mask.", 602 | "Yo mama is so nasty that every time she opens her mouth she's talking shit.", 603 | "Yo mama is so nasty that even dogs won't sniff her crotch.", 604 | "Yo mama is so nasty that the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.", 605 | "Yo mama is so nasty that her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.", 606 | "Yo mama's so nasty, the Forbidden Forrest was named after her.", 607 | "Yo mama's so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark on them.", 608 | "Yo mama's so nasty that the order of the phoenix was \"stay away from that woman!\"", 609 | "Yo mama's breath is so nasty that it chases away Miasma." 610 | ], 611 | 612 | "hairy": [ 613 | "Yo mama is so hairy that Bigfoot wants to take HER picture!", 614 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.", 615 | "Yo mama is so hairy that you almost died of rugburn at birth!", 616 | "Yo mama is so hairy that they filmed \"Gorillas in the Mist\" in her shower!", 617 | "Yo mama is so hairy that if she could fly she'd look like a magic carpet.", 618 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like Bigfoot in a tank top.", 619 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she has afros on her nipples.", 620 | "Yo mama is so hairy that when I took her to a pet store they locked her in a cage.", 621 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.", 622 | "Yo mama is so hairy that Jane Goodall follows her around.", 623 | "Yo mama is so hairy that the only language she can speak is wookie.", 624 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she shaves her legs with a weedwacker.", 625 | "Yo mama is so hairy that if you shaved her legs, you could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.", 626 | "Yo mama is so hairy that her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.", 627 | "Yo mama's so hairy that she's got sideburns on her tits.", 628 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she got a trim and lost 20 pounds.", 629 | "Yo mama is so hairy that people run up to her and say \"Chewbacca, can I get your autograph?\"", 630 | "Yo mama is so hairy that she gets mistaken for Chewbacca's cousin.", 631 | "Yo mama is so hairy that two birds made nests in her armpits and she doesn't even know about it!", 632 | "Yo mama is so hairy that when she's at a nude beach people think she's wearing a fur coat!", 633 | "Yo mama is so hairy that the only language she can speak is wookie.", 634 | "Yo mama's so hairy Naruto thought she was a Summon.", 635 | "Yo mama's so hairy and ugly that she got used as Ashitare's stunt double.", 636 | "Yo mama's so hairy that she has to go to Furfest to meet a man." 637 | ], 638 | "bald": [ 639 | "Yo mama's so bald that I can tell fortunes on her head.", 640 | "Yo mama's so bald that you could draw a line down the middle of her head and it would look like my ass.", 641 | "Yo mama's so bald that when she goes to bed, her head slips off the pillow.", 642 | "Yo mama's so bald that when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.", 643 | "Yo mama is so bald that even a wig wouldn't help!", 644 | "Yo mama is so bald that you can see what's on her mind.", 645 | "Yo mama is so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!" 646 | ], 647 | "old": [ 648 | "Yo mama is so old that they teach what she did in History Classes.", 649 | "Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate says \"expired\" on it.", 650 | "Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class.", 651 | "Yo mama is so old that I told her to act her own age, and she died.", 652 | "Yo mama is so old that she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.", 653 | "Yo mama is so old that her social security number is 1.", 654 | "Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.", 655 | "Yo mama is so old that she has Adam & Eve's autographs.", 656 | "Yo mama is so old that she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.", 657 | "Yo mama is so old that she has an autographed bible.", 658 | "Yo mama is so old she remembers when the Mayans published their calendar.", 659 | "Yo mama is so old that the candles cost more than the birthday cake.", 660 | "Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out.", 661 | "Yo mama is so old that she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.", 662 | "Yo mama is so old that she drove a chariot to high school.", 663 | "Yo mama is so old that she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.", 664 | "Yo mama is so old that she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.", 665 | "Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.", 666 | "Yo mama is so old that she baby-sat for Jesus.", 667 | "Yo mama is so old that she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.", 668 | "Yo mama is so old that she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.", 669 | "Yo mama is so old that when God said \"Let there be light\" she was there to flick the switch.", 670 | "Yo mama is so old that she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.", 671 | "Yo mama is so old that when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.", 672 | "Yo mama is so old that she learned to write on cave walls.", 673 | "Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.", 674 | "Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.", 675 | "Yo mama is so old that she planted the first tree at Central Park.", 676 | "Yo mama is so old that she sat next to Jesus in third grade.", 677 | "Yo mama is so old that she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.", 678 | "Yo mama is so old that she knew Cap'n Crunch while he was still a private.", 679 | "Yo mama is so old that she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.", 680 | "Yo mama is so old that when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.", 681 | "Yo mama is so old, when she breast feeds, people mistake her for a fog machine.", 682 | "Yo mama is so old that when she was young rainbows were black and white.", 683 | "Yo mama is so old that she was a waitress at the Last Supper.", 684 | "Yo mama is so old that she owes Jesus a dollar.", 685 | "Yo mama is so old that she ran track with dinosaurs." 686 | ], 687 | "poor": [ 688 | "Yo mama is so poor that she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags and when I asked her what she was doing she said, \"Buying luggage.\"", 689 | "Yo mama is so poor that when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!", 690 | "Yo mama is so poor that she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.", 691 | "Yo mama is so poor that she can't afford to pay attention!", 692 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said \"moving.\"", 693 | "Yo mama is so poor that she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.", 694 | "Yo mama is so poor that I saw her running after a garbage truck with a shopping list.", 695 | "Yo mama is so poor that the bank repossesed her cardboard box.", 696 | "Yo mama is so poor Nigerian scammers wire HER money!", 697 | "Yo mama is so poor she couldn't afford to apply for Medicare!", 698 | "Yo mama is so poor that she has to wear her McDonald's uniform to church.", 699 | "Yo mama is so poor that she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house.", 700 | "Yo mama is so poor that I came over for dinner and she read me recipes.", 701 | "Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.", 702 | "Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.", 703 | "Yo mama is so poor that she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip.", 704 | "Yo mama is so poor that I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.", 705 | "Yo mama is so poor that her front and back doors are on the same hinge.", 706 | "Yo mama is so poor that I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut.", 707 | "Yo mama is so poor that the closest thing to a car she has is a low-rider shopping cart with a box on it.", 708 | "Yo mama is so poor that she can't even put her two cents in this conversation.", 709 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said \"Hey miss, lost a shoe?\" she said \"Nope, just found one!\"", 710 | "Yo mama is so poor that her face is on the front of a foodstamp.", 711 | "Yo mama is so poor that I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said \"Who's tearing down the drapes?\"", 712 | "Yo mama is so poor that I stepped on her skateboard and she said \"Hey, get off the car!\"", 713 | "Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said \"3rd bucket to your right.\"", 714 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I walked inside her house and put out a cigarette, she said \"who turned off the heater?\"", 715 | "Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.", 716 | "Yo mama is so poor that she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.", 717 | "Yo mama is so poor that she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.", 718 | "Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.", 719 | "Yo mama is so poor that her idea of a fortune cookie is a tortilla with a food stamp in it.", 720 | "Yo mama is so poor that when yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.", 721 | "Yo mama is so poor that burglars break in and leave money.", 722 | "Yo mama is so poor that she married young just to get the rice!", 723 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said \"Don't use the good china!\"", 724 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing, she said \"Remodeling.\"", 725 | "Yo mama is so poor that I threw a rock at a trash can and she popped out and said \"Who knocked?\"", 726 | "Yo mama is so poor that we were on a road trip and she stopped by a dumpster and got out. I said \"what are you doing\" and she said I'm \"booking a hotel!\"", 727 | "Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, \"Who turned off the lights?\"", 728 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said \"Spagetti.\"", 729 | "Yo mama is so poor that after I pissed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn.", 730 | "Yo mama is so poor that your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.", 731 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I ring the doorbell she says,\"DING!\"", 732 | "Yo mama is so poor that she got in an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.", 733 | "Yo mama's so poor, that her doormat doesn't say \"welcome\", it says \"welfare\".", 734 | "Yo mama is so poor that for halloween, her trick was the treat.", 735 | "Yo mama is so poor that when she tells people her address, she says \"it's in the second alley from main street, beside the yellow dumpster.\"", 736 | "Yo mama is so poor that her idea of a timeshare is a few days camped out under a bridge.", 737 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her in the park digging up plants, she said she was \"getting groceries\".", 738 | "Yo mama is so poor that when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!" 739 | ], 740 | "short": [ 741 | "Yo mama is so short that you can see her feet on her drivers license!", 742 | "Yo mama is so short that she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.", 743 | "Yo mama is so short that she does backflips under the bed.", 744 | "Yo mama is so short that she models for trophys.", 745 | "Yo mama is so short that her homies are the Keebler Elfs.", 746 | "Yo mama is so short that she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.", 747 | "Yo mama is so short that when she sneezes, she hits her head on the floor.", 748 | "Yo mama is so short that she does pull-ups on a staple.", 749 | "Yo mama is so short that she can do push-ups under the door.", 750 | "Yo mama is so short that when I was dissin' her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.", 751 | "Yo mama is so short that she can limbo under the door.", 752 | "Yo mama is so short that she uses a condom for a sleeping bag.", 753 | "Yo mama is so short that she slam-dunks her bus fare.", 754 | "Yo mama is so short that she has to look up to look down.", 755 | "Yo mama is so short that she makes Gary Coleman look like Shaquille O'Neal.", 756 | "Yo mama is so short, you can make a life size sculpture of her using one can of Play-Doh.", 757 | "Yo mama's so short that when she sat on the curb her feet didn't touch the ground.", 758 | "Yo mama is so short that she can play handball on the curb.", 759 | "Yo mama's arms are so short that she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear." 760 | ], 761 | "skinny": [ 762 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she turned sideways and disappeared.", 763 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she hula hoops with a Cheerio.", 764 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she has to wear a belt with spandex.", 765 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.", 766 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she can see out a peephole with both eyes.", 767 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.", 768 | "Yo mama is so skinny that you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Fruit Loop.", 769 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she has to run around in the shower to get wet.", 770 | "Yo mama is so skinny that when she wore her yellow dress, she looked like an HB pencil.", 771 | "Yo mama is so skinny that if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin.", 772 | "Yo mama is so skinny that her nipples touch.", 773 | "Yo mama is so skinny that I could blind-fold her with dental floss.", 774 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she looks like a mic stand.", 775 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she only has one stripe on her pajamas.", 776 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she can dodge rain drops.", 777 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she inspires crack whores to diet.", 778 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she uses Chapstick for deodorant.", 779 | "Yo mama is so skinny that if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper.", 780 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she goes hot tubbing with the Mini Wheats Man.", 781 | "Yo mama is so skinny that when she takes a bath and lets the water out, her toes get caught in the drain.", 782 | "Yo mama is so skinny that her bra fits better when she wears it backwards.", 783 | "Yo mama is so skinny that she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow.", 784 | "Yo mama is so skinny that if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.", 785 | "Yo mama is so skinny that her pants only have one belt loop.", 786 | "Yo mama is so skinny that if she had dreads I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.", 787 | "Yo mama is so skinny that instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent." 788 | ], 789 | "tall": [ 790 | "Yo mama is so tall that she tripped in Michigan and bumped her head in Florida.", 791 | "Yo mama is so tall that she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.", 792 | "Yo mama is so tall that if she did a back-flip she'd kick Jesus in the mouth.", 793 | "Yo mama's so tall, she can see her house from anywhere.", 794 | "Yo mama's so tall, she uses two 100-foot ladders as crutches.", 795 | "Yo mama's so tall, she has to take out the driver's seat of her car and sit in the back to operate the vehicle.", 796 | "Yo mama's so tall, she makes Shaquille O'Neal look like Gary Coleman.", 797 | "Yo mama's so tall, she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun." 798 | ], 799 | "like": [ 800 | "Yo mama is like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.", 801 | "Yo mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.", 802 | "Yo mama is like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.", 803 | "Yo mama is like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.", 804 | "Yo mama is like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.", 805 | "Yo mama is like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.", 806 | "Yo mama is like the sun, look at her too long and you'll go blind.", 807 | "Yo mama is like a library, she's open to the public.", 808 | "Yo mama is like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.", 809 | "Yo mama is like an ATM, open 24 hours.", 810 | "Yo mama is like a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.", 811 | "Yo mama is like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.", 812 | "Yo mama is like a Discover card, she gives cash back.", 813 | "Yo mama is like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.", 814 | "Yo mama is like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.", 815 | "Yo mama is like a microwave, press one button and she's hot.", 816 | "Yo mama is like a mail box, open day and night.", 817 | "Yo mama is like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.", 818 | "Yo mama is like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.", 819 | "Yo mama is like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.", 820 | "Yo mama is like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.", 821 | "Yo mama is like a slaughter house - everybody's hanging their meat up in her.", 822 | "Yo mama is like the new AOL 4.0: Fun, Fast, Easy and Free!", 823 | "Yo mama is like a carpenter's dream - flat as a board and easy to nail.", 824 | "Yo mama is like Humpty Dumpty - First she gets humped, then she gets dumped.", 825 | "Yo mama is like a bag of potato chips, \"Free-To-Lay.\"", 826 | "Yo mama is like a turtle - once she's on her back she's fucked.", 827 | "Yo mama is like a fan - she's always blowing someone.", 828 | "Yo mama is like Pizza Hut - if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's Free!", 829 | "Yo mama is like a goalie - she only changes her pads after three periods.", 830 | "Yo mama is like a gas station - you gotta pay before you pump!", 831 | "Yo mama is like Sprint - 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.", 832 | "Yo mama is like a Chinese restaurant - All you can eat for only $9.95!", 833 | "Yo mama is like a protractor - she's good at every angle.", 834 | "Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.", 835 | "Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.", 836 | "Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!", 837 | "Yo mama's like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.", 838 | "Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.", 839 | "Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.", 840 | "Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.", 841 | "Yo mama's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.", 842 | "Yo mama's like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.", 843 | "Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.", 844 | "Yo mama's like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, there's no wrong way to eat her.", 845 | "Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.", 846 | "Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.", 847 | "Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.", 848 | "Yo mama's like school at 3 o'clock... children keep coming out and nobody can remember all the fathers.", 849 | "Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still comes back for more.", 850 | "Yo mama's like a set of speakers - loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.", 851 | "Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.", 852 | "Yo mama's like 7-Eleven - open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.", 853 | "Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner - a real good suck.", 854 | "Yo mama's like a Snickers bar, packed with nuts.", 855 | "Yo mama's like a race car driver - she burns a lot of rubbers.", 856 | "Yo mama's like a parking garage, three bucks and you're in.", 857 | "Yo mama's like a pool table, she likes balls in her pocket.", 858 | "Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.", 859 | "Yo mama's like a bungee cord... 100 dollars for 30 seconds and if that rubber breaks, your ass is dead!", 860 | "Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.", 861 | "Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.", 862 | "Yo mama's like a tricycle, she's easy to ride.", 863 | "Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.", 864 | "Yo mama's like peanut butter: brown, creamy, and easy to spread.", 865 | "Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.", 866 | "Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.", 867 | "Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.", 868 | "Yo mama's like lettuce, 25 cents a head.", 869 | "Yo mama's like an iPod, fun to touch!", 870 | "Yo mama's like Wal-Mart... She's got different discounts everyday.", 871 | "Yo mama's like a converging lens - she's wider in the middle than she is on either end.", 872 | "Yo mama's like a puppy... everybody wants to give her a hug." 873 | ] 874 | } 875 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------