├── requirements.txt ├── keys.py ├── DNC_usernames.txt ├── GOP_usernames.txt ├── LICENSE ├── README.md ├── download_tweets.py └── examples ├── minimaxir_355M.txt └── chrissyteigen_355M.txt /requirements.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | fire 2 | tqdm 3 | textblob 4 | tweepy 5 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /keys.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # WARNING: Do not push this file into Github once you have added your credentials 2 | keys = {'consumer_key': "", 3 | 'consumer_secret': "", 4 | 'access_token': "", 5 | 'access_token_secret': ""} 6 | 7 | label = "" 8 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /DNC_usernames.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | SeemaNanda 2 | SpeakerPelosi 3 | SenSchumer 4 | RashidaTlaib 5 | AyannaPressley 6 | brianschatz 7 | AOC 8 | IlhanMN 9 | joncoopertweets 10 | TheDemCoalition 11 | funder 12 | DavidCornDC 13 | DNCWarRoom 14 | tribelaw 15 | NatashaBertrand 16 | RepSwalwell 17 | TomPerez 18 | RonWyden 19 | RBReigh 20 | SenatorDurbin -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /GOP_usernames.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | realDonaldTrump 2 | IvankaTrump 3 | DonaldJTrumpJr 4 | JudgeJeanine 5 | parscale 6 | GOPLeader 7 | senatemajldr 8 | AnnCoulter 9 | SenTedCruz 10 | GovMikeHuckabee 11 | IvankaTrump 12 | tedcruz 13 | newtgingrich 14 | erictrump 15 | LindseyGrahamSC 16 | BillOreilly 17 | DevinNunes 18 | IngrahamAngle 19 | seanhannity -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /LICENSE: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | MIT License 2 | 3 | Copyright (c) 2019-2020 Max Woolf 4 | 5 | Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy 6 | of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal 7 | in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights 8 | to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell 9 | copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is 10 | furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions: 11 | 12 | The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all 13 | copies or substantial portions of the Software. 14 | 15 | THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR 16 | IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, 17 | FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE 18 | AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER 19 | LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, 20 | OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE 21 | SOFTWARE. 22 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # download-tweets-ai-text-gen-plus 2 | 3 | A small Python 3 script to download public Tweets from Twitter accounts into a format suitable for AI text generation tools (such as [gpt-2-simple](https://github.com/minimaxir/gpt-2-simple) for finetuning [GPT-2](https://openai.com/blog/better-language-models/)). 4 | 5 | * Retrieves all tweets as a simple CSV with a single CLI command 6 | * Preprocesses tweets to remove URLs, extra spaces, and optionally usertags/hashtags 7 | * Saves tweets after each collection in case there is an error or you want to end collection early 8 | 9 | You can view examples of AI-generated tweets from datasets retrieved with this tool in the `/examples` folder. 10 | 11 | ## Setup 12 | 13 | First, clone this repository onto your system and install dependencies with the following commands: 14 | 15 | ```sh 16 | git clone https://github.com/sdelgadoc/download-tweets-ai-text-gen-plus.git 17 | cd download-tweets-ai-text-gen-plus 18 | pip3 install -r requirements.txt 19 | ``` 20 | 21 | Previous versions of this code used scraping libraries to collect tweets. Since then, Twitter has made scraping harder while providing more [robust tweet collection API's](https://developer.twitter.com/en/docs/twitter-api/premium). In response, we ported this code to run only with the Twitter's API. 22 | 23 | To continue the setup, [create a Twitter app](https://developer.twitter.com/en/docs/basics/apps/overview) so you can obtain access to the Twitter API. Once you create an app, [generate access tokens](https://developer.twitter.com/ja/docs/basics/authentication/guides/access-tokens), and input them into the section of the `keys.py` file shown below. 24 | 25 | ```py 26 | keys = {'consumer_key': "", 27 | 'consumer_secret': "", 28 | 'access_token': "", 29 | 'access_token_secret': ""} 30 | ``` 31 | 32 | Finally, go to the Twitter API's [Dev environments page](https://developer.twitter.com/en/account/environments), generate a Dev environment for the Full Archive API, and input the environment's name into `label` section of the `keys.py` file shown below. 33 | 34 | ```py 35 | label = "" 36 | ``` 37 | 38 | ## Usage 39 | 40 | The script is run via a command line interface. After `cd`ing into the directory where the script is stored in a terminal, run: 41 | 42 | ```sh 43 | python3 download_tweets.py 100 44 | ``` 45 | 46 | e.g. If you want to download 100 tweets (sans retweets/replies/quote tweets) from Twitter user [@santiagodc](https://twitter.com/santiagodc), run: 47 | 48 | ```sh 49 | python3 download_tweets.py santiagodc 100 50 | ``` 51 | *NOTE: The Twittter API's free tier has a collection limit of 5,000 tweets per month, so set a tweet limit to avoid hitting your limit too quickly* 52 | 53 | 54 | The script can can also download tweets from multiple usernames at one time. To do so, first create a text file (.txt) with the list of usernames. Then, run script referencing the file name: 55 | 56 | ```sh 57 | python3 download_tweets.py 100 58 | ``` 59 | 60 | The tweets will be downloaded to a single-column CSV titled `_tweets.csv`. 61 | 62 | The parameters you can pass to the command line interface (positionally or explicitly) are: 63 | 64 | * username: Username of the account whose tweets or .txt file name with multiple usernames you want to download [required] 65 | * limit: Number of tweets to download [default: all tweets possible] 66 | * include_replies: Include replies from the user in the dataset [default: False] 67 | * strip_usertags: Strips out `@` user tags in the tweet text [default: False] 68 | * strip_hashtags: Strips out `#` hashtags in the tweet text [default: False] 69 | * sentiment: Adds the specified number of sentiment categories to the output so you can then generate positive/negative tweets changing a parameter [default: 0, possible values: 0, 3, 5, 7] 70 | * text_format: Specifies the format in which tweets will be returned. The 'simple' format only returns the tweet text. The 'reply' format returns information on preceding tweets to train an AI that can reply to tweets [default: 'simple', possible values: 'simple', 'reply'] 71 | * timeframe: Specifies when to start grabbing tweets from [default: March 22nd, 2006] 72 | 73 | ## How does the sentiment functionality work 74 | 75 | The sentiment parameter adds a sentiment category to the tweet text. This information allows the user to train and generate text with different sentiments by changing a parameter. 76 | 77 | The output format using the 'simple' text format is the following: 78 | ```txt 79 | [Sentiment category] 80 | [Tweet text for the tweet that was collected] 81 | ``` 82 | The sentiment parameter accepts an integer that specifies the number of sentiment categories that are returned. The sentiment categories for the different possible parameters are the following: 83 | * 0: No sentiment category is returned 84 | * 3: POSITIVE, NEUTRAL, NEGATIVE 85 | * 5: VERY POSITIVE, POSITIVE, NEUTRAL, NEGATIVE, VERY NEGATIVE 86 | * 7: EXTREMELY POSITIVE, VERY POSITIVE, POSITIVE, NEUTRAL, NEGATIVE, VERY NEGATIVE, EXTREMELY NEGATIVE 87 | 88 | 89 | ## How does the text_format functionality work 90 | 91 | The code supports collecting tweets in a format for training an AI that can reply to other tweets. The output format is based on [the format](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubSimulatorGPT2Meta/comments/caelo0/could_you_give_more_details_on_the_input/et8j3b1/?context=3) used to train the [Subreddit Simulator](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator/) Reddit community. 92 | 93 | The output format is the following: 94 | ```txt 95 | ****ARGUMENTS 96 | ORIGINAL or REPLY: Whether the tweet is an original tweet or a reply 97 | SENTIMENT: If the sentiment parameter is used, text describing the tweet text's sentiment 98 | ****PARENT 99 | [Tweet text for the topmost tweet in a reply thread] 100 | ****IN_REPLY_TO 101 | [Tweet text for the tweet that is being responded to] 102 | ****TWEET 103 | [Tweet text for the tweet that was collected] 104 | ``` 105 | 106 | To collect tweets with this reply format by running the following statement: 107 | 108 | ```sh 109 | python3 download_tweets.py None True False False False 3 reply 110 | ``` 111 | 112 | ## How does the timeframe functionality work 113 | 114 | By specifying a date, the script will download tweets from the value `timeframe` to the present. It will by default download every tweet from a given user (or users) starting from the day March 22nd, 2006, the day the first tweet ever was sent. 115 | The `timeframe` parameter is precise, in which it lets you put in a desired year, month, day, hour, and minute to download tweets from, in that order. The format the `timeframe` parameter accepts looks like `YYYYMMDDHHMM`. 116 | 117 | ## How to Train an AI on the downloaded tweets 118 | 119 | [gpt-2-simple](https://github.com/minimaxir/gpt-2-simple) has a special case for single-column CSVs, where it will automatically process the text for best training and generation. (i.e. by adding `<|startoftext|>` and `<|endoftext|>` to each tweet, allowing independent generation of tweets) 120 | 121 | You can use [this Colaboratory notebook](https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1qxcQ2A1nNjFudAGN_mcMOnvV9sF_PkEb) (optimized from the original notebook for this use case) to train the model on your downloaded tweets, and generate massive amounts of Tweets from it. Note that without a lot of data, the model might easily overfit; you may want to train for fewer `steps` (e.g. `500`). 122 | 123 | When generating, you'll always need to include certain parameters to decode the tweets, e.g.: 124 | 125 | ```python 126 | gpt2.generate(sess, 127 | length=200, 128 | temperature=0.7, 129 | prefix='<|startoftext|>', 130 | truncate='<|endoftext|>', 131 | include_prefix=False 132 | ) 133 | ``` 134 | 135 | ## Helpful Notes 136 | 137 | * You'll need *thousands* of tweets at minimum to feed to the input model for a good generation results. (ideally 1 MB of input text data, although with tweets that hard to achieve) 138 | * To help you reach the 1 MB of input text data, you can load data from multiple similar Twitter usernames 139 | * The download will likely end much earlier than the theoretical limit (inferred from the user profile) as the limit includes retweets/replies/whatever cache shenanigans Twitter is employing. 140 | * The legalities of distributing downloaded tweets is ambiguous, therefore it's recommended avoiding committing raw Twitter data to GitHub, and is the reason examples of such data is not included in this repo. (AI-generated tweets themselves likely fall under derivative work/parody protected by Fair Use) 141 | 142 | ## Maintainer 143 | 144 | Santiago Delgado ([@santiagodc](https://twitter.com/santiagodc)) 145 | based on [download-tweets-ai-text-gen](https://github.com/minimaxir/download-tweets-ai-text-gen) by [@minimaxir](https://github.com/minimaxir) 146 | 147 | ## License 148 | 149 | MIT 150 | 151 | ## Disclaimer 152 | 153 | This repo has no affiliation with Twitter Inc. 154 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /download_tweets.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import fire 2 | import re 3 | import csv 4 | from tqdm import tqdm 5 | from time import sleep 6 | import os 7 | from textblob import TextBlob 8 | from keys import keys, label 9 | import tweepy 10 | 11 | # Seconds to wait after calling Twitter API to avoid rate limits 12 | api_delay = 2 13 | 14 | def download_tweets(username=None, 15 | limit=None, 16 | include_replies=False, 17 | include_links=False, 18 | strip_usertags=False, 19 | strip_hashtags=False, 20 | sentiment = 0, 21 | text_format = "simple", 22 | timeframe="200603220000"): 23 | """ 24 | Download public Tweets from one or multiple Twitter accounts 25 | into a format suitable for training with AI text generation tools. 26 | :param username: Twitter @ username to gather tweets or .txt file name 27 | with multiple usernames. 28 | :param limit: # of tweets to gather; None for all tweets. 29 | :param include_replies: Whether to include replies to other tweets. 30 | :param include_links: Whether to include tweets with links. 31 | :param strip_usertags: Whether to remove user tags from the tweets. 32 | :param strip_hashtags: Whether to remove hashtags from the tweets. 33 | :param sentiment: Number of sentiment categories to include in text. 34 | :param text_format: Type of output format for the tweet. 35 | :param timeframe: The date to start gathering tweets from, oldest first. 36 | Defaults to March 22, 2006. Formatted as YYYYMMDDHHMM. 37 | """ 38 | 39 | # Validate that a username or .txt file name is specified 40 | assert username, "You must specify a username or file name" 41 | 42 | # Create an empty list of usernames for which to dowload tweets 43 | usernames = [] 44 | filename = username 45 | api = None 46 | 47 | # Authenticate with the Twitter API 48 | auth = tweepy.OAuthHandler(keys["consumer_key"], keys["consumer_secret"]) 49 | auth.set_access_token(keys["access_token"], keys["access_token_secret"]) 50 | api = tweepy.API(auth) 51 | 52 | # Get the file's current directory 53 | dir_path = os.path.dirname(os.path.realpath(__file__)) 54 | 55 | # If username is a .txt file, append all usernames to usernames list 56 | if username[-4:] == ".txt": 57 | 58 | # Open username file and copy usernames to usernames list 59 | pathfilename = os.path.join(dir_path, filename) 60 | with open(pathfilename, 'r') as f: 61 | [usernames.append(username.rstrip('\n')) for username in f] 62 | 63 | #If username is not a .txt file, append username to usernames list 64 | else: 65 | filename = username 66 | usernames.append(username) 67 | 68 | # Download tweets for all usernames and write to file 69 | with open(dir_path + '/{}_tweets.csv'.format(filename), 'w', encoding='utf8') as f: 70 | w = csv.writer(f) 71 | w.writerow(['tweets']) # gpt-2-simple expects a CSV header by default 72 | 73 | for username in usernames: 74 | download_account_tweets(username, limit, include_replies, 75 | strip_usertags, strip_hashtags, 76 | include_links, sentiment, text_format, 77 | timeframe, api, w) 78 | 79 | 80 | def download_account_tweets(username=None, 81 | limit=None, 82 | include_replies=False, 83 | include_links=False, 84 | strip_usertags=False, 85 | strip_hashtags=False, 86 | sentiment = 0, 87 | text_format = "simple", 88 | timeframe="200603220000", 89 | api = None, 90 | w = None): 91 | """ 92 | Download public Tweets from one Twitter account into a format suitable 93 | for training with AI text generation tools. 94 | :param username: Twitter @ username to gather tweets or .txt file name 95 | with multiple usernames. 96 | :param limit: # of tweets to gather; None for all tweets. 97 | :param include_replies: Whether to include replies to other tweets. 98 | :param include_links: Whether to include tweets with links. 99 | :param strip_usertags: Whether to remove user tags from the tweets. 100 | :param strip_hashtags: Whether to remove hashtags from the tweets. 101 | :param sentiment: Number of sentiment categories to include in text. 102 | :param text_format: Type of output format for the tweet. 103 | :param timeframe: The date to start gathering tweets from, oldest first. 104 | Defaults to March 22, 2006. Formatted as YYYYMMDDHHMM. 105 | :param api: Open Twitter API reference. 106 | :param w: Open file reference to write output. 107 | """ 108 | 109 | print("Retrieving tweets for @{}...".format(username)) 110 | 111 | # Validate that authentication tokens have been entered 112 | assert keys["consumer_key"] != "", "Enter your consumer key into the keys.py file" 113 | assert keys["consumer_secret"] != "", "Enter your consumer secret key into the keys.py file" 114 | assert keys["access_token"] != "", "Enter your access tokens into the keys.py file" 115 | assert keys["access_token_secret"] != "", "Enter your access token secret into the keys.py file" 116 | assert label != "", "Enter your environment name into the keys.py file, under \"label\"" 117 | 118 | # Validate that limit is a multiple of 100; set total number of tweets 119 | if limit: 120 | assert limit % 100 == 0, "`limit` must be a multiple of 100." 121 | 122 | pbar = tqdm(range(limit), desc="Oldest Tweet from " + str(timeframe) + " onwards") 123 | 124 | # If no limit specifed, don't specify total number of tweet 125 | else: 126 | pbar = tqdm() 127 | 128 | # Create a tweepy cursor with or without a limit depending on parameters 129 | if limit is not None: 130 | cursor = tweepy.Cursor(api.search_full_archive, 131 | label=label, 132 | query = "from:" + username, 133 | fromDate=timeframe).items(limit) 134 | else: 135 | cursor = tweepy.Cursor(api.search_full_archive, 136 | label=label, 137 | query = "from:" + username, 138 | fromDate=timeframe).items() 139 | 140 | 141 | # Iterate until the StopIteration exception is hit 142 | while True: 143 | try: 144 | # Get the next tweet from the cursos 145 | tweet = cursor.next() 146 | 147 | # Get the tweet's full text depending where it is located 148 | tweet_full_text = "" 149 | if tweet.truncated: 150 | tweet_full_text = tweet.extended_tweet["full_text"] 151 | else: 152 | tweet_full_text = tweet.text 153 | 154 | # If the tweet is not a retweet 155 | if tweet_full_text[:3] != "RT ": 156 | 157 | # If we do not filter out replies 158 | if include_replies: 159 | 160 | tweet_text = format_text(tweet, strip_usertags, 161 | strip_hashtags,sentiment, 162 | text_format, api) 163 | 164 | # Do not write tweet to file if the tweet_text is empty 165 | if tweet_text != "": 166 | # Write tweet text to file 167 | w.writerow([tweet_text]) 168 | 169 | 170 | # If we do filter out replies 171 | else: 172 | 173 | if not is_reply(tweet): 174 | tweet_text = format_text(tweet, strip_usertags, 175 | strip_hashtags,sentiment, 176 | text_format, api) 177 | 178 | # Do not write tweet to file if the tweet_text is empty 179 | if tweet_text != "": 180 | # Write tweet text to file 181 | w.writerow([tweet_text]) 182 | 183 | # Update the progress bar with one iteration 184 | pbar.update(1) 185 | # Pause to avoid hitting rate limits 186 | sleep(api_delay) 187 | 188 | 189 | except StopIteration: 190 | break 191 | 192 | pbar.close() 193 | 194 | # Return 0 195 | return 0 196 | 197 | 198 | def format_text(tweet, 199 | strip_usertags = False, 200 | strip_hashtags = False, 201 | sentiment = 0, 202 | text_format = "simple", 203 | api = None): 204 | """ 205 | Format a tweet's text for output based on certain parameters 206 | :param tweet_object: Twitter API tweet object whose object will be formated 207 | :param strip_usertags: Whether to remove user tags from the tweets. 208 | :param strip_hashtags: Whether to remove hashtags from the tweets. 209 | :param sentiment: Number of sentiment categories to include in text. 210 | :param text_format: Type of output format for the tweet. 211 | :param api: Open Twitter API reference 212 | """ 213 | 214 | output_tweet_text = "" 215 | 216 | # 'simple' text format only returns the tweet text 217 | if text_format == "simple": 218 | 219 | 220 | # Get the tweet's full text depending where it is 221 | tweet_full_text = "" 222 | if tweet.truncated: 223 | tweet_full_text = tweet.extended_tweet["full_text"] 224 | else: 225 | tweet_full_text = tweet.text 226 | 227 | # Clean the tweet's text 228 | cleaned_text = clean_text(tweet_full_text, strip_usertags, 229 | strip_hashtags) 230 | 231 | # If we should include sentiment information 232 | if sentiment > 0: 233 | output_tweet_text += sentiment_text(cleaned_text, sentiment) + "\n" 234 | 235 | output_tweet_text += cleaned_text 236 | 237 | # Return an empty string if cleaned_text is empty 238 | if cleaned_text == "": 239 | output_tweet_text = "" 240 | 241 | 242 | # 'reply' text format includes text from the tweets that were replied-to 243 | if text_format == "reply": 244 | 245 | # Add the arguments delimieter 246 | output_tweet_text = "****ARGUMENTS\n" 247 | 248 | # Specify whether the tweet is an original tweet or a reply 249 | if is_reply(tweet): 250 | output_tweet_text += "REPLY\n" 251 | else: 252 | output_tweet_text += "ORIGINAL\n" 253 | 254 | # Get the tweet's full text depending where it is 255 | tweet_full_text = "" 256 | if tweet.truncated: 257 | tweet_full_text = tweet.extended_tweet["full_text"] 258 | else: 259 | tweet_full_text = tweet.text 260 | 261 | # Clean the tweet's text 262 | cleaned_text = clean_text(tweet_full_text, strip_usertags, 263 | strip_hashtags) 264 | 265 | # If we should include sentiment information, do so 266 | if sentiment > 0: 267 | # Add sentiment information 268 | output_tweet_text += sentiment_text(cleaned_text, sentiment) + "\n" 269 | 270 | # Write the parent tweet delimieter 271 | output_tweet_text += "****PARENT\n" 272 | 273 | 274 | # Declare tweet objects as none for future comparison 275 | in_reply_to_tweet = None 276 | parent_tweet = None 277 | 278 | # If the tweet is a reply, try to get the replied to tweet 279 | if is_reply(tweet): 280 | 281 | # Sometimes Twitter references non-existant tweets, so handle errors 282 | try: 283 | # Get the object for the tweet that was replied to 284 | in_reply_to_tweet = api.get_status(tweet.in_reply_to_status_id_str, 285 | tweet_mode="extended") 286 | # Delay to avoid hitting rate limits 287 | sleep(api_delay) 288 | 289 | # If tweet is non-existant, move on 290 | except tweepy.errors.TweepyException: 291 | pass 292 | 293 | # If the replied to tweet was found, find parent 294 | if in_reply_to_tweet is not None: 295 | 296 | # Sometimes Twitter references non-existant tweets, so handle errors 297 | try: 298 | # Get the object for the parent tweet 299 | parent_tweet = api.get_status(in_reply_to_tweet.in_reply_to_status_id_str, 300 | tweet_mode="extended") 301 | # Delay to avoid hitting rate limits 302 | sleep(api_delay) 303 | 304 | # If tweet is non-existant, move on 305 | except tweepy.errors.TweepyException: 306 | # If you can't find the parent tweet, assign reply_to to parent 307 | parent_tweet = in_reply_to_tweet 308 | 309 | # If we could find the parent tweet, populate with text 310 | if parent_tweet is not None: 311 | cleaned_text = clean_text(parent_tweet.full_text, 312 | strip_usertags, strip_hashtags) 313 | 314 | output_tweet_text += cleaned_text + "\n" 315 | 316 | # Write the parent tweet delimieter 317 | output_tweet_text += "****IN_REPLY_TO\n" 318 | 319 | # If we could find the parent tweet, populate with text 320 | if in_reply_to_tweet is not None: 321 | cleaned_text = clean_text(in_reply_to_tweet.full_text, 322 | strip_usertags, strip_hashtags) 323 | 324 | output_tweet_text += cleaned_text + "\n" 325 | 326 | 327 | # Convert to ORIGINAL if tweet is REPLY but can't retrieve parent tweet 328 | if is_reply(tweet) and in_reply_to_tweet is None: 329 | 330 | # Add the arguments delimieter 331 | output_tweet_text = "****ARGUMENTS\n" 332 | output_tweet_text += "ORIGINAL\n" 333 | 334 | # If we should include sentiment information 335 | if sentiment > 0: 336 | 337 | # Get the tweet's full text depending where it is 338 | tweet_full_text = "" 339 | if tweet.truncated: 340 | tweet_full_text = tweet.extended_tweet["full_text"] 341 | else: 342 | tweet_full_text = tweet.text 343 | 344 | 345 | cleaned_text = clean_text(tweet_full_text, strip_usertags, 346 | strip_hashtags) 347 | output_tweet_text += sentiment_text(cleaned_text, sentiment)+"\n" 348 | 349 | # Add empty PARENT and IN_REPLY_TO sections 350 | output_tweet_text += "****PARENT\n" 351 | output_tweet_text += "****IN_REPLY_TO\n" 352 | 353 | # Write the reply tweet delimieter 354 | output_tweet_text += "****TWEET\n" 355 | 356 | # Get the tweet's full text depending where it is 357 | tweet_full_text = "" 358 | if tweet.truncated: 359 | tweet_full_text = tweet.extended_tweet["full_text"] 360 | else: 361 | tweet_full_text = tweet.text 362 | 363 | 364 | # Clean the tweet's text 365 | cleaned_text = clean_text(tweet_full_text, strip_usertags, 366 | strip_hashtags) 367 | 368 | # Add the cleaned tweet text 369 | output_tweet_text += cleaned_text 370 | 371 | 372 | return(output_tweet_text) 373 | 374 | 375 | def sentiment_text(tweet_text, sentiment = 0): 376 | """ 377 | Returns a string describing the tweet text's sentiment 378 | :param tweet_text: Text for which sentiment should be measured 379 | :param sentiment: Number of sentiment categories to include in text. 380 | """ 381 | 382 | output_tweet_text = "" 383 | 384 | blob = TextBlob(tweet_text) 385 | 386 | # If sentiment is divided into 3 categories 387 | if sentiment == 3: 388 | if blob.sentiment.polarity < 0: 389 | output_tweet_text += "NEGATIVE" 390 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity == 0: 391 | output_tweet_text += "NEUTRAL" 392 | else: 393 | output_tweet_text += "POSITIVE" 394 | 395 | # If sentiment is divided into 5 categories 396 | elif sentiment == 5: 397 | if blob.sentiment.polarity < -0.5: 398 | output_tweet_text += "VERY NEGATIVE" 399 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity < 0: 400 | output_tweet_text += "NEGATIVE" 401 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity == 0: 402 | output_tweet_text += "NEUTRAL" 403 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity > 0.5: 404 | output_tweet_text += "VERY POSITIVE" 405 | else: 406 | output_tweet_text += "POSITIVE" 407 | 408 | # If sentiment is divided into 7 categories 409 | elif sentiment == 7: 410 | if blob.sentiment.polarity < -2/3: 411 | output_tweet_text += "EXTREMELY NEGATIVE" 412 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity < -1/3: 413 | output_tweet_text += "VERY NEGATIVE" 414 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity < 0: 415 | output_tweet_text += "NEGATIVE" 416 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity == 0: 417 | output_tweet_text += "NEUTRAL" 418 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity > 2/3: 419 | output_tweet_text += "EXTREMELY POSITIVE" 420 | elif blob.sentiment.polarity > 1/3: 421 | output_tweet_text += "VERY POSITIVE" 422 | else: 423 | output_tweet_text += "POSITIVE" 424 | 425 | return output_tweet_text 426 | 427 | 428 | def clean_text(tweet_text, strip_usertags = False, strip_hashtags = False): 429 | """ 430 | Remove sections of the tweet text (clean) based on parameters 431 | :param tweet_text: Text for which sentiment should be measured 432 | :param strip_usertags: Whether to remove user tags from the tweets. 433 | :param strip_hashtags: Whether to remove hashtags from the tweets. 434 | """ 435 | 436 | # Strip all the leading usertags 437 | while re.search(r"^@[a-zA-Z0-9_]+", tweet_text): 438 | tweet_text = re.sub(r"^@[a-zA-Z0-9_]+", '', tweet_text).strip() 439 | 440 | # Regex pattern for removing URL's 441 | pattern = r"http\S+|pic\.\S+|\xa0|…" 442 | 443 | if strip_usertags: 444 | pattern += r"|@[a-zA-Z0-9_]+" 445 | 446 | if strip_hashtags: 447 | pattern += r"|#[a-zA-Z0-9_]+" 448 | 449 | tweet_text = re.sub(pattern, '', tweet_text).strip() 450 | 451 | return tweet_text 452 | 453 | def is_reply(tweet): 454 | """ 455 | Determines if the tweet is a reply to another tweet. 456 | :param tweet: Tweepy tweet object for which to determine if it's a replt 457 | """ 458 | 459 | # If the tweet does not have an in_reply value 460 | if tweet.in_reply_to_screen_name is None: 461 | return False 462 | else: 463 | return True 464 | 465 | 466 | if __name__ == "__main__": 467 | fire.Fire(download_tweets) 468 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /examples/minimaxir_355M.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | but MS Word is the actual language of the computer science world 2 | ==================== 3 | I have one comment on the post itself, though: 4 | ==================== 5 | I have a feeling that's not an actual startup idea 6 | ==================== 7 | This is good for bitcoin. 8 | ==================== 9 | no, your FACE is spam. :/ 10 | ==================== 11 | the key to getting upvotes is to tell them you have no life 12 | ==================== 13 | I have literally no idea what you're talking about. 14 | 15 | Can't read "What is a Startup?" on T-shirts. 16 | ==================== 17 | you have an hour left gogogogogogo 18 | ==================== 19 | can't wait until techcrunch writes a story about this 20 | ==================== 21 | this is a good post 22 | ==================== 23 | it's not a bug it's a feature 24 | ==================== 25 | I am so edgy right now 26 | ==================== 27 | #workingforaday #miningforaday 28 | ==================== 29 | It's a nightmare to work in Silicon Valley. 30 | ==================== 31 | is that a noob question? 32 | ==================== 33 | also, with the exception of the first sentence, there will be NO COMMENTS. I'll fix that after the event 34 | ==================== 35 | On Hacker News: "Is the Internet better than TV?" 36 | ==================== 37 | ok ok ok i'll take it 38 | ==================== 39 | TFW you try to use your social networks while logged in and accidentally get banned for breaking the rules 40 | ==================== 41 | I'm afraid to ask, but is there a way to get a list of all the movies with the most stars without actually opening the movie? 42 | 43 | I'm not happy to see this, but I'm afraid to ask. 44 | ==================== 45 | OH: "Why is it that your Instagram photos always show a black background when you take a selfie?" 46 | ==================== 47 | ok ok, that's probably a bug. Not a bug, just a requirement 48 | ==================== 49 | TIL that Facebook's Trending section is the worst section of the internet. 50 | ==================== 51 | I like to think that I know a thing or two about startup culture 52 | ==================== 53 | If you want to see how Facebook Groups are used, you can take a look at the Facebook Groups API. (I didn't bother to look it up, but it's pretty useful!) 54 | ==================== 55 | Silicon Valley is a cesspool. 56 | ==================== 57 | I'm happy to oblige. 58 | ==================== 59 | is there a tax for this comment spam 60 | ==================== 61 | if you want to be an entrepreneur, you need to learn how to code 62 | ==================== 63 | if you are going to do a "blog post" type article, I suggest you do one of these 64 | ==================== 65 | tfw you go online to look for freelancers but accidentally take up photography for a living 66 | ==================== 67 | I don't know what I am doing here. 68 | ==================== 69 | 1/2 of the people that are reading TechCrunch right now are not even 18. They are just watching... 70 | ==================== 71 | FareWon is a fun read if you love to hate 72 | ==================== 73 | According to the Huffington Post's data, the proportion of female founders funded by a single VC firm has fallen quite significantly over the past few years. 74 | ==================== 75 | I haven't seen any good tweets about the NYE meme yet 76 | ==================== 77 | me irl 78 | ==================== 79 | wait, people use official twitter handles on hulk. what happened to official twitter handles? 80 | ==================== 81 | I had a folder in my computer with a large amount of .txt files, but not many interesting files. I opened the folder, and sure enough, there were quite a few .txt files! 82 | ==================== 83 | Warning to the UX Crowd: If You Make a Bad Design Decision, You're Doing It Wrong 84 | ==================== 85 | this is my jam 86 | ==================== 87 | This is the real-life reenactment of the Super Bowl LI TV commercial. (The Super Bowl LI TV commercial is getting worse.) 88 | ==================== 89 | wait what 90 | ==================== 91 | ok, i'll try to see if i can fix that issue 92 | ==================== 93 | no you don't have to use gpt2-gPT-multi because that's the default. The Mate 10 is a good option if you want to get a performance boost; I'll wait to give that a look when it ships. 94 | ==================== 95 | that's the first time I've heard the phrase "not as good as a competitor" 96 | ==================== 97 | Readers are invited to join us for an interactive Q&A session! cc 98 | ==================== 99 | we do have a couple of new uber-premium libraries 100 | ==================== 101 | is there a reddit subreddit for audio commentary 102 | ==================== 103 | you could do it with a .ai, which is just as well-written 104 | ==================== 105 | if you want to see a techcrunch story about uber surge pricing, read this one 106 | ==================== 107 | I was surprised to see that the New York Times article about the Facebook IPO had no sources for the headline "Facebook IPO." 108 | ==================== 109 | the anime is only 10% funny 110 | ==================== 111 | STORY: TRAINERS REPORTS THAT SOMEONE UNDERSTOLE THE DAMAGE BY TRAINING 112 | ==================== 113 | I would strongly advise not using it because it is insecure and encourages spammy submissions. 114 | 115 | It is the only way I can troll this blog post. 116 | 117 | If it is not broken, I will not use it. 118 | 119 | I will fix it however I have to manually parse the HTML and it is slow. 120 | ==================== 121 | I did the exact same thing, with slightly different color schemes and a different API. It's worth a try. 122 | ==================== 123 | you have a (somewhat) important job right? 124 | ==================== 125 | it's the best part of summer 126 | ==================== 127 | that's a bad company name 128 | ==================== 129 | you should put that on your résumé 130 | ==================== 131 | not really, but I'll bet you a thousand dollars that it's related 132 | ==================== 133 | wait, they've added a comments section?!?! 134 | ==================== 135 | is this commentary from a 3-day-old app 136 | ==================== 137 | this is actually an interesting question becuase your typical startup isnt too shabby. 138 | ==================== 139 | you have the option to link to the post, or just the source code: 140 | ==================== 141 | I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic 142 | ==================== 143 | See, in the TechCrunch IPO story, the company is called "Silicon Valley." 144 | ==================== 145 | i'm sorry i won't be able to see you getting fined by law 146 | ==================== 147 | can you give me a lift home 148 | ==================== 149 | The official Twitter emoji are the deuce. 150 | ==================== 151 | is that from a comedy show or a news show 152 | ==================== 153 | TechCrunch is the only place where you can actually get actual coverage of the big stories. 154 | ==================== 155 | Tweets about my experience at Chipotle 156 | ==================== 157 | #BloggingIn2015 158 | ==================== 159 | ...and this is literally a screenshot of the article template. 160 | ==================== 161 | the best job has the most commute 162 | ==================== 163 | WaPo did they just publish an article about stats that is far worse than the original article 164 | ==================== 165 | The hackathon project has gone viral on Hacker News. (more on that later) 166 | ==================== 167 | oh, you mean techcrunch is still a thing 168 | ==================== 169 | #firstattemptattweetstorming #firstattemptattweetstorming 170 | ==================== 171 | Actual title for article: "How to Get Into a Room with an App on Your Own" 172 | ==================== 173 | vague is not alarming 174 | ==================== 175 | #NoDuh 176 | ==================== 177 | this tweet is so edgy it's disturbing 178 | ==================== 179 | #sistertmikey 180 | ==================== 181 | I want to write a blog post which uses the terms "fluff" and "epic fail fast".. 182 | ==================== 183 | my dang weapon 184 | ==================== 185 | This is the most poorly-crafted headline I've seen in awhile. (in comparison, the great George Saunders articles above the fold are very well-crafted) 186 | ==================== 187 | i don't even 188 | ==================== 189 | #only2wordsattheendofwords 190 | ==================== 191 | I have a feeling that is a secret XKCD secret. 192 | 193 | I'll take a look. 194 | ==================== 195 | Per the archives: "I am really annoyed that TechCrunch's is commenting on my articles!" 196 | ==================== 197 | I broke my wrist running a web scraper. I am now stuck trying to figure out how to get the data I want again. 198 | ==================== 199 | This is a rush job! (and yes, this is my real name) 200 | ==================== 201 | it's technically not a bug, it's a feature 202 | ==================== 203 | I'm really surprised no one has taken up the #doubledlink hashtag yet. 204 | ==================== 205 | I also added a delay to the end of the tweets. 206 | 207 | It's funny because the algorithm deletes the first tweet if the user dismisses the app. 208 | ==================== 209 | OMG omg 210 | ==================== 211 | i wish the nytimes was fb 212 | ==================== 213 | oh, so you can read tweets while i'm typing? 214 | ==================== 215 | This is why I like working at BuzzFeed. 216 | ==================== 217 | this is the only thing I have on video of today 218 | ==================== 219 | gulp 220 | ==================== 221 | Instagram was worth less than a $10 bill 222 | ==================== 223 | dammit 224 | ==================== 225 | Illustration by: Corey O. Hale 226 | ==================== 227 | Why is there a Facebook Video streaming of the Moto Show? 228 | ==================== 229 | 3. do you want to go to a party with a giant heart? 230 | ==================== 231 | Spoiler, This Is Spoilers: 232 | ==================== 233 | I would strongly advise not using it, but hey, it's the future. 234 | ==================== 235 | Opened Secret because I was too busy being too busy. 😐 236 | ==================== 237 | did you just subtweet a postman 238 | ==================== 239 | this is the most absurd tech blog headline I have seen in awhile 240 | ==================== 241 | I'm not your mate, bro 242 | ==================== 243 | oh man slingshot is so legal 244 | ==================== 245 | i'm sorry <4> 246 | 247 | ==================== 248 | My answer to Your Question: 249 | ==================== 250 | This blog post is getting to me. 251 | ==================== 252 | can i have your autotweet 253 | ==================== 254 | Worst tech headline: "How to Use a Hash Table to Find a Broken Link in the HTML" 255 | ==================== 256 | could you get me a drink 257 | ==================== 258 | I did not expect to see a #yolo on Twitter. 😭 259 | ==================== 260 | i am so hyped for the new mr. polo 261 | ==================== 262 | This is what happens when you do a survey about a keyword. 263 | ==================== 264 | there are no boundaries to the Mean Girls 265 | ==================== 266 | i know, you're in a hurry 267 | ==================== 268 | #nochill 269 | ==================== 270 | I can't embed it because I am too busy debugging it 271 | ==================== 272 | I am not your mate, bro. 273 | ==================== 274 | but are you taking about growth hacking 275 | ==================== 276 | but it's not empty so you shouldn't complain 277 | ==================== 278 | #yesyoureDumbledore 279 | ==================== 280 | this is the best ending to a dvd I've ever seen 281 | ==================== 282 | you are a horrible human being 283 | ==================== 284 | Finished the game. No mistakes. #NHL #NHLPGA #NHLDSC #NHLDSC 285 | ==================== 286 | I don't think TechCrunch is for me. 287 | ==================== 288 | og! 289 | ==================== 290 | could you get someone to read for a few hours instead of writing? 291 | ==================== 292 | I knew you could do this 293 | ==================== 294 | I'm really surprised that the #fancystats Twitter hashtag didn't die with the death of the Shark Tank effect 295 | ==================== 296 | here's the script to find all the comments in 's text file: 297 | ==================== 298 | #disruptcy 299 | ==================== 300 | I get that headline a lot. 301 | ==================== 302 | it's not the colors, it's the syllables that matter 303 | ==================== 304 | #activismisemotional 305 | ==================== 306 | <|startoftext|>I have posted a link to the technical report on my blog, and I have been very pleasantly surprised by the number of comments and constructive criticism. 307 | 308 | The big take away is that the strength of the feed is not what's important, it's the fact that the AI is improving at a rate that is *not* out of whack. 309 | 310 | This is obviously a very strong argument for not using the automated sentiment generation feature, but given that it's a very new feature, I am 311 | ==================== 312 | you don't have to click the link to read the article 313 | ==================== 314 | welcome to life 315 | ==================== 316 | 1) The NBA is *not* the NHL. 317 | ==================== 318 | TensorFlow is a powerful tool to create interactive computer games. 319 | ==================== 320 | why is the menu on my computer messed up. It should be fixed now 321 | ==================== 322 | #irony A post shared by Popcorn Time (@pocotoworld.com) on Apr 3, 2017 at 6:26am PDT 323 | 324 | 325 | ==================== 326 | Because TechCrunch is a thing. 327 | ==================== 328 | I don't know how to respond to that. 329 | ==================== 330 | You can't just create a website and expect to attract 20-50M unique visitors a month! 331 | ==================== 332 | I think the other half is your property 333 | ==================== 334 | this is your reminder that you have a feeling 335 | ==================== 336 | what about the ones who use them as remote controls 337 | ==================== 338 | I remember when Twitter's MVP was the Ark of the Covenant 339 | ==================== 340 | don't ask for upvotes on HN 341 | ==================== 342 | it's not a bug it's a feature 343 | ==================== 344 | no I am not a robot 345 | ==================== 346 | #formerproblems 347 | ==================== 348 | you're like a superhero with the power of speech. 349 | ==================== 350 | #dril #yw 351 | ==================== 352 | you are like a superhero with the power of speed 353 | ==================== 354 | you can have both. No one will be mad if you do. :) 355 | ==================== 356 | what about the sparrows 357 | ==================== 358 | how did you know i was an evil mastermind 359 | ==================== 360 | me irl 361 | ==================== 362 | AIM-30 is a terrific drone but it is not for me. I want a better drone. 363 | ==================== 364 | I got into a twitter fight with him over a comment he made about a lack of female founders. He is very nice, but still. :\ 365 | ==================== 366 | I've been looking into new ways to make charts with R + ggplot2, and I think I've found a better one. 367 | ==================== 368 | hey you're on the internet you don't have to follow a username if you don't want to 369 | ==================== 370 | huh, i didn't know you had reverse-ssl 371 | ==================== 372 | There's a new Facebook meme going around that if you like a certain person, you can be unfriended immediately. 373 | ==================== 374 | #twilightzone 375 | ==================== 376 | #whataboutbacon 377 | ==================== 378 | I'm not going to troll this comment. I'm not interested. 379 | ==================== 380 | The other commenters on that article are making a joke about the lack of women in tech. 381 | ==================== 382 | oh man a new indent() 383 | ==================== 384 | #neverseenyouall 385 | ==================== 386 | The fact that the Star Wars Episode VII trailer is literally a 3D model of the Millennium Falcon (i.e. not a static 3D model) is disturbing 387 | ==================== 388 | Spending the weekend looking at all of the images on Hacker News. 389 | 390 | I want one 391 | ==================== 392 | I have a feeling you just made my job impossible. 393 | ==================== 394 | The TechCrunch comment section is full of spammy links. I don't think that's a good sign. 395 | ==================== 396 | it will always remember you were a kid with scissors 397 | ==================== 398 | if you had tweeted that you would have been a hero 399 | ==================== 400 | oh my god 401 | ==================== 402 | I see a blog post on how to get a 10,000 Twitter Follow Score with a keyword query: 403 | ==================== 404 | On Hacker News: "Are you *really* jumping through hoops to get in on this meme?… 405 | ==================== 406 | that's the first time I've heard the phrase "not as big as you." 407 | ==================== 408 | hey i am a random person on the internet and random things happen 409 | ==================== 410 | oh my god 411 | ==================== 412 | has anyone else seen a ghost story 413 | ==================== 414 | you do not want to see my girly side 415 | ==================== 416 | I'm surprised that Etsy doesn't have a TechCrunch-style blog. :( 417 | ==================== 418 | The iPhone X will break Instagram. Hilarity ensues. 419 | ==================== 420 | The best kind of pun is the one you don't even need to see to tell it's a pun. 421 | ==================== 422 | 2/15/13 423 | ==================== 424 | Worst tech story ever 425 | ==================== 426 | SINGULARITY 427 | ==================== 428 | 1X 429 | ==================== 430 | not how i expected to find it 431 | ==================== 432 | did you just subtweet your life 433 | ==================== 434 | I got into a Twitter fight with him again. 435 | ==================== 436 | I can get behind that. It's just not for me. 437 | ==================== 438 | Hacker News is trying to kill me. #humble #blessed 439 | ==================== 440 | I've been tracking this story, and it's getting pretty interesting. 441 | ==================== 442 | Worst client ever. :/ 443 | ==================== 444 | in a nutshell 445 | ==================== 446 | why is this a read 447 | ==================== 448 | welcome to life :) 449 | ==================== 450 | #firstattemptattweetstorming #yolo 451 | ==================== 452 | that's my opinion, of course. 453 | ==================== 454 | wait I got a promotion for posting about my internship? hmmm 455 | ==================== 456 | I really wish TechCrunch had a "blog comments only" policy 457 | ==================== 458 | everyone just go to bed u cuz you are late 459 | ==================== 460 | ok cool 461 | ==================== 462 | I am totally not trolling you. You are the one who is really dumb 463 | ==================== 464 | I was interested in learning more about Flask-like templating systems, but I wasn't sure how to get started. Unfortunately, this tutorial is not for me. 465 | ==================== 466 | oh man you are a data scientist 467 | ==================== 468 | I do have an idea for more story ideas though. 469 | ==================== 470 | I have a feeling that this will become a TL;DR. 471 | ==================== 472 | I will delete comments that are abusive. #siliconvalleyagreed 473 | ==================== 474 | omg thanks 475 | ==================== 476 | I'm worse than useless. 477 | ==================== 478 | no I am not going to be at CODEX this weekend. :( 479 | ==================== 480 | TechCrunch has a new look. 481 | ==================== 482 | you have too much energy 483 | ==================== 484 | I really really want to see a MasterCard ad with that headline 485 | ==================== 486 | The article is a good read in that it provides a good overview of the data science tools available and how they can be used to detect and understand spam. However, I personally found the article's conclusion somewhat misleading: 487 | ==================== 488 | He was just going to get a raise 489 | ==================== 490 | I will not be commenting on the because I am too busy writing articles for my blog :) 491 | ==================== 492 | A survey of Hacker News comments does a decent job of identifying the most-hated authors. 493 | ==================== 494 | I can't wait until Business Insider has a Trump article. 495 | ==================== 496 | is the title of your movie quoted from a book 497 | ==================== 498 | is that a noob question 499 | ==================== 500 | totally unrelated to that at all* 501 | ==================== 502 | the article is missing a bunch of important information 503 | ==================== 504 | are you talking about the missus episode where she is the bad cop? 505 | ==================== 506 | it's not the temperature, it's the acceleration of the temperature that counts 507 | ==================== 508 | I got rich by imitating your mom. 509 | ==================== 510 | Moderator: "Can I speak to your team via Skype?" 511 | ==================== 512 | ok ok i'll try to get back to reading 513 | ==================== 514 | The best thing about having a good friend is knowing when to troll him. 515 | ==================== 516 | Second Law of Thermodynamics? 517 | ==================== 518 | This is what happens when you copy and paste the intro from Product Hunt into an AdBlocker. 519 | ==================== 520 | Something I've been wondering is how the heck HipChat Twitter launched. Turns out there are lots of . . . 521 | ==================== 522 | it gets warmer in hell 523 | ==================== 524 | did you just subtweet yourself 525 | ==================== 526 | There's a difference between "blog-champion" and "blog-destroying super-hero." 527 | ==================== 528 | yes 529 | ==================== 530 | that's what happens when you ask the wrong person to lead 531 | ==================== 532 | you're literally pitching to the moon 533 | ==================== 534 | I have a feeling that you're going to do some serious hacking 535 | ==================== 536 | wtf 537 | ==================== 538 | darn techies and their free energy drinks 539 | ==================== 540 | it's not the number of stars, it's the number of months! 541 | ==================== 542 | part II 543 | ==================== 544 | I made a comment in the github repo that I was leaving the project due to some internal issues. Turns out I was right! 545 | ==================== 546 | I just posted a pull request to the open-sourced gpt-2-simple 0.7 release and it looks like open-sourced fixes the bug that causes the regression to only happen when the input file is a string. 547 | 548 | GPT-2-simple 0.7 *isn't* open-sourced, because I don't want to rip off/compile proprietary code in the process. 549 | ==================== 550 | I have been looking into using Go to power a web crawler, but the cost/benefit analysis is hard to evaluate. (I'm assuming you don't have a data science background to analyze it) 551 | ==================== 552 | I've been working on a new tool to make interactive charts of histograms, and it has an interesting feature: instead of simply showing the number of X% of the Y% of a cell in the histogram, the chart will chart the cells in the exact same order! (e.g. ) 553 | ==================== 554 | it is a video game you die. :) 555 | ==================== 556 | this is the first article about the "never-before-seen" photos of the actress, and the comments section is abuzz with speculation as to who will be the next Jenna Marbles 557 | ==================== 558 | I can't wait until Apple starts using QR codes to track purchases. 559 | ==================== 560 | you have a lot on your mind right now 561 | ==================== 562 | are you saying that your startup is "not for sale" 563 | ==================== 564 | The best kind of 'x-mailer' is the one you read about in a textbook 565 | ==================== 566 | There are two types of startups: those who make cool pets and are shut down by the SEC. 567 | ==================== 568 | I'd really rather see a tech blog post about building better spam filters than this. 569 | ==================== 570 | wait what 571 | ==================== 572 | it's not loading, it's just "apparently" 573 | ==================== 574 | why is this a linkbait title 575 | ==================== 576 | you're so edgy 577 | ==================== 578 | Do you have a RSS reader? 579 | ==================== 580 | <|startoftext|>Fun fact: when building my own React/Redux apps, the default browser is Chrome. 581 | 582 | I have a Chrome workaround for this though: install a different browser, open the default app, and then switch back to Chrome. 583 | 584 | But there's a catch: if the current Chrome process dies, the process will restart in a few seconds, which is slow. 585 | 586 | So I have a React component that will die if I try to use it in a web process, but it won 587 | ==================== 588 | that's a good question 589 | ==================== 590 | I'm curious what your business model is. 591 | ==================== 592 | . The video has a few audio clips but most are text files. 593 | ==================== 594 | you are literally an omegle. congrats 595 | ==================== 596 | hey there 597 | ==================== 598 | Not sure if scam or satire. 599 | ==================== 600 | not with that attitude 601 | ==================== 602 | oh you have a discord chatroom 603 | ==================== 604 | Did you just subtweet the person you are following? 605 | ==================== 606 | Your FACE is an incredibly powerful marketing tool. 607 | ==================== 608 | it's not "private networks" it's public Wi-Fi networks 609 | ==================== 610 | It's important to note that this post contains NSFW language. 611 | 612 | it's okay to laugh if you're not being offensive 613 | ==================== 614 | not at all, i am a "me" 615 | ==================== 616 | is it only 3am in SF? 617 | ==================== 618 | there's a difference between being "outspoken" and "outspoken as a twerp" 619 | ==================== 620 | wait that's not how I expected the 'newspaper is a computer' line from the TV show Futurama 621 | ==================== 622 | I have a feeling that's how this is going to get down 623 | ==================== 624 | totally unrelated: 625 | ==================== 626 | this is the irl 627 | ==================== 628 | Twitch Plays Pokemon was the best video game channel ever. #SiliconValley 629 | ==================== 630 | this is a great app for people who want to remain anonymous 631 | ==================== 632 | i just hate you so much right now 633 | ==================== 634 | I got into a twitter fight with him for no reason. 635 | ==================== 636 | I am happy to report that this hack is actually pretty solid. 637 | ==================== 638 | I'm really surprised that the number of articles about Uber's data-science division has declined significantly in the last month. 639 | ==================== 640 | I'm extremely confused by the number of XOAs that have been made about the MLH talk. 641 | 642 | I expected a lot more text-heavy content, but did I expect that there would be XOAs for the AI-generated text? 643 | ==================== 644 | is there a way to tell if a comment was made by you 645 | ==================== 646 | So I finished a spreadsheet of all the Blog Discussion Threads on Hacker News over the last week, and it looks like *nothing* changed: 647 | ==================== 648 | Hacker News is awash with articles about women's underwear. 649 | ==================== 650 | All of them. 651 | ==================== 652 | The first thing I notice when watching YouTube videos is the fade-to-black effect. 653 | ==================== 654 | why is he in a car with a TV and a Playstation 4 655 | ==================== 656 | oh, you got a 2-digit Number and a specific Letter? I knew it 657 | ==================== 658 | The gif is broken since it doesn't show up in the search results. #humble #blessed 659 | ==================== 660 | it's not a crash if it just glitches for a few seconds 661 | 662 | it's a failure if it takes hours 663 | ==================== 664 | He's also tweeted linking to other people's pages, so I'm not sure if that's a problem or a feature. 665 | ==================== 666 | I'll take a look. 667 | ==================== 668 | but is it friday you don't have friday 669 | ==================== 670 | the best kind of sexism is taking advantage of someone else 671 | ==================== 672 | this is the most poorly-used product-hunt phrase 673 | ==================== 674 | That's actually my reaction to the article title: it's like the ultimate troll job 675 | ==================== 676 | hey that is a wrong number of turns 677 | ==================== 678 | I read the comments section and it is literally awash in shitty jokes. 679 | ==================== 680 | The most important question in all of Silicon Valley is: "When will tech journalism stop?" 681 | ==================== 682 | <|startoftext|>As a programmer, I would highly recommend not doing it unless you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY 683 | ==================== 684 | did you just subtweet yourself 685 | ==================== 686 | Hacker News on the TechCrunch redesign 687 | ==================== 688 | i am not ok 689 | ==================== 690 | Who the hell edits Wikipedia? 691 | ==================== 692 | WHY AM I READING THIS TWEET COMMENTS SECTION FOR EACH STATUS 693 | ==================== 694 | I get that description of a lot. 695 | ==================== 696 | I am tempted to start a thread about it though 697 | ==================== 698 | The AP's Gamergate story is sub-par. 699 | ==================== 700 | #4chanis1u8 701 | ==================== 702 | Press C to copy-paste an entire document. #editme 703 | ==================== 704 | So what kind of data analyst spend their weekends doing nothing but text-generating algorithms? 705 | ==================== 706 | I'm sure there's a tech influencer for every one of the aforementioned things 707 | ==================== 708 | I also edited the code to escape Markov chains, which you can find on GitHub: 709 | ==================== 710 | I can confirm that this is a legit startup pitch 711 | ==================== 712 | i'm a weirdo 713 | ==================== 714 | I got into a really bad car accident once. #badass 715 | ==================== 716 | are you taking about the health of anarcho? 717 | ==================== 718 | It's a super-small world. 719 | ==================== 720 | I got a text from my santa that I was late. Oops. :( 721 | ==================== 722 | I love it when my stupid attempts at social media analysis goes viral 723 | ==================== 724 | what the heck is going on my head 725 | ==================== 726 | totally new biz practice 727 | ==================== 728 | I got into a twitter fight with him over something. I don't even know what it is. 729 | ==================== 730 | that is an enlightened view of the world 731 | ==================== 732 | I used a VPN to access Facebook News Feed, so I'm not complaining. I just don't want to be tracked down. #fbcrumpet 733 | ==================== 734 | it's like that movie with the fish who's the fish 735 | ==================== 736 | The most important question in all of data science? "How much does this cost?" 737 | ==================== 738 | i'm not your mate bro 739 | ==================== 740 | my god this is getting frustrating 741 | ==================== 742 | is it a muthafucka 743 | ==================== 744 | I would like to see a list of URLs with the highest number of shares of the top-grossing URL (as of 2016) 745 | ==================== 746 | so you mean you don't have to use Tinder too? 747 | ==================== 748 | did you just subtweet every tweet 749 | ==================== 750 | that's the most un-PC thing you can do 751 | ==================== 752 | also, I don't think I can win this argument 753 | ==================== 754 | it was probably a bug that made the article not linkable :( 755 | ==================== 756 | I almost didn't make that link. I seriously had no idea what I was doing 757 | ==================== 758 | what about all the people on the south asia train who died before they reached zenefits 759 | ==================== 760 | I get that you want to see a TechCrunch article but you are too lazy/busy/whatever to read it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 761 | ==================== 762 | You are going to become a total twat. 763 | ==================== 764 | what is an uber 765 | ==================== 766 | why are they using an animated GIF of a recipe instead of a text file tbh 767 | ==================== 768 | if you somehow *did* get a sense of humor, you're doing it wrong 769 | ==================== 770 | wtf 771 | ==================== 772 | i.e. you pay $1000 for a hotel but you only stay in one? 773 | ==================== 774 | internet trolling is real 775 | ==================== 776 | is that better than epic fail 777 | ==================== 778 | Yes, that's the real name of the band. Wow. #DisruptDisrupt #YOLO 779 | ==================== 780 | you are a pedantic twat 781 | ==================== 782 | New blog post up: Stacking Colloquialisms to Maximize Similarity Between Words in Text - cc 783 | ==================== 784 | That is, assuming you're not using Ninja. If you are, you're doing it wrong. 785 | ==================== 786 | wait, they added a "Next Week" button to their newsletter? 787 | ==================== 788 | I've been looking into building a web scraper for my blog posts, but there's a problem: my scraper will not work! 789 | ==================== 790 | some people just like to troll 791 | ==================== 792 | spoiler alert: it's not a spider web 793 | ==================== 794 | i am a person too 795 | ==================== 796 | don't ask for upvotes on HN 797 | ==================== 798 | can we have a #ronglewithit 799 | ==================== 800 | I'd check the comments if someone was actually trying to scam me. 801 | ==================== 802 | I have the same issue with it too. 803 | ==================== 804 | true 805 | ==================== 806 | #keepitreal 807 | ==================== 808 | i've had the same question on other boards where they can't find my signature 809 | ==================== 810 | I am very confused by that. 811 | ==================== 812 | is that a noob question> 813 | 814 | ==================== 815 | #yolo 816 | ==================== 817 | I did not expect that. I should have known better 818 | ==================== 819 | pfft, it's not my fault that I am a horrible role model 820 | ==================== 821 | looks like you have another project 822 | ==================== 823 | this is good for bitcoin. 824 | ==================== 825 | It's not a bug, it's a feature 826 | ==================== 827 | why are they naming the horses after you 828 | ==================== 829 | I have been wanting to do a blog about this but I am afraid to look at too many data points at the same time. 830 | ==================== 831 | How do you pronounce my name? 832 | ==================== 833 | I'm pretty sure this is a promotion for Echo Show/Prime Me 834 | ==================== 835 | I was checking the clock and it was 3 AM. I should go to bed. 836 | ==================== 837 | and they're not even your daddy 838 | ==================== 839 | #blockedit 840 | ==================== 841 | i'm happy to fix it for you if you want to do it for me 842 | ==================== 843 | you have something I haven't seen before 844 | ==================== 845 | #humble #blessed 846 | ==================== 847 | New blog post up: How to Selectively Encrypt a File on a Mac with gpt-2-simple - cc 848 | ==================== 849 | You don't have to take my word for it, try this on. 850 | ==================== 851 | I hate when startups get me ?! 852 | ==================== 853 | Placement of Places on A Street View Map of Los Angeles, by Location, from January 1, 2018 To May 31, 2018 (Data Source: Street View' s, ) 854 | ==================== 855 | #idlesoflife 856 | ==================== 857 | this is the first time I've seen a startup that is actually real. 858 | ==================== 859 | that is the most sexist comment i've seen all day 860 | ==================== 861 | <|startoftext|>tfw your coworkers accidentally made a bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion bazillion 862 | ==================== 863 | hey you don't have to be afraid to admit that you need a break 864 | ==================== 865 | wait what 866 | ==================== 867 | is it 2am in the office 868 | ==================== 869 | why are there so many cross-hatch signs on the street corner 870 | ==================== 871 | but you're a chatbot so you're not bad 872 | ==================== 873 | The first guy on the left is your typical techcrunch writer. 874 | ==================== 875 | hey that's a noob question 876 | ==================== 877 | the best of both worlds 878 | ==================== 879 | I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. 880 | ==================== 881 | it's the one with the cameras and the captions 882 | ==================== 883 | The HackerRank algorithm is very good at ranking some difficult or non-obvious problems. 884 | ==================== 885 | I wanna see your heart rate 886 | ==================== 887 | ok, that's plausible 888 | ==================== 889 | wut 890 | ==================== 891 | #allofus 892 | ==================== 893 | I am very impressed that you are using Hacker News to advertise a job posting. 894 | ==================== 895 | wut 896 | ==================== 897 | #yolo 898 | ==================== 899 | I said "startup" not "Facebook IPO." 900 | ==================== 901 | I have a feeling that when the #1 story on Hacker News happens to be about O(n^2) time complexity, it won't be very interesting. 902 | ==================== 903 | but they are gurls! 904 | ==================== 905 | I'm guessing that's the same thing Jen Le --- I had never heard of her before this article. 906 | ==================== 907 | I don't think "too late for good food blogs" is an appropriate adjective. 908 | ==================== 909 | I've been very busy and I'm really really busy so I can't commit to a timeline for when I'll be back. 😛 910 | ==================== 911 | WikiLeaks is totally legit. 912 | ==================== 913 | Weirdest Twitter ad ever. 914 | ==================== 915 | For the record, this is not an example of SEO optimization. It is also not an example of spam. :( 916 | ==================== 917 | Worst tech headline: "How to make a good drinking game with friends" 918 | ==================== 919 | The video will be posted tomorrow. Will update when it's done 920 | ==================== 921 | I wrote a script to find all the Instagram Stories with the keyword "Food" and that results in a .gif instead of a .jpg. 922 | ==================== 923 | I thought "frequent flyer between USA and Canada" was a joke 924 | ==================== 925 | GitHub is annoying. It's not broken, but it's not easy to fix. (go to https://gist.github.io/a207884) 926 | ==================== 927 | Only people with superhigh IQs would do this. 928 | ==================== 929 | TIL if your question is "What are you doing here?" you are just being a jerk. 930 | ==================== 931 | does Forbes have a fleur-de-lis 932 | ==================== 933 | I saw the press release on the Apple Watch and didn't read it. :P 934 | ==================== 935 | you have a 10 min wait in line? 936 | ==================== 937 | periscope.png 938 | ==================== 939 | i.e. you are still a troll? 940 | ==================== 941 | The comment section is awash with petty jealousies. 942 | ==================== 943 | its not your call 944 | ==================== 945 | New blog post up: Why Do Web Servers Keep Getting Sluggish? - 946 | ==================== 947 | twilight zone 948 | ==================== 949 | Dat Pong. 950 | ==================== 951 | you have to be careful what you wish for 952 | ==================== 953 | I'm impressed that your blog has an article on the front page without any ads. 954 | 955 | Wow, TechCrunch is getting weird. 956 | ==================== 957 | it's the best line in the book 958 | ==================== 959 | If the Twitter API changes anything, it will be the listing of Followed Users. 960 | <|startoftext|>First World Problem 961 | ==================== 962 | I don't think I can handle this much drama all at once. 963 | ==================== 964 | that is the only sense I can give to that tweet 965 | ==================== 966 | still better than usual 967 | ==================== 968 | The TechCrunch comments section is a weird place for techcrunch excitement. 969 | ==================== 970 | srs business 971 | ==================== 972 | I got a text message this morning from the CEO of my coworking space that my comment on a GitHub issue was not fixed. 973 | ==================== 974 | i want an early morning yoga class with a view through the clouds 975 | ==================== 976 | I actually have a better idea 977 | ==================== 978 | You could be a troll, or a pedo. 979 | ==================== 980 | What is the purpose of the <1 line per blog post title and <3 twitter followers? 981 | ==================== 982 | I really need to do a proper postmortem on this mistake. 983 | ==================== 984 | The Twitter API limits the number of Retweets per hour. (minimum of 10) 985 | ==================== 986 | I have to admit that the "if you love it so much you should buy a horse" meme is surprisingly innovative. 987 | ==================== 988 | Warning: Spoilers from the next episode 989 | ==================== 990 | totally relevant to the cryptocurrency space 991 | ==================== 992 | well technically you are already there 993 | ==================== 994 | you are not an introvert 995 | ==================== 996 | they've been doing it for years. i'm surprised they haven't seen it already. 997 | ==================== 998 | stale as f*cks 999 | ==================== 1000 | you can be the Hulk Hogan of startups 1001 | ==================== 1002 | can't wait till techcrunch has a story on this 1003 | ==================== 1004 | this is the coolest birthday/birthday card I've ever seen 1005 | ==================== 1006 | I should have known better... 1007 | ==================== 1008 | That's when the "words are not drugs" part got to me. 1009 | ==================== 1010 | ok, that's not what I meant. Sorry about that. 1011 | ==================== 1012 | this is a must read 1013 | ==================== 1014 | the best techcrunch articles are the ones with the most irrelevant irrelevant links 1015 | ==================== 1016 | The Instagram API limits the number of allowed profiles to a maximum of 5K. I could go on and on about how terrible the limitations are, but it's not my thing. 😉 1017 | ==================== 1018 | answers to the comments section 1019 | ==================== 1020 | ew 1021 | ==================== 1022 | That's a dumb question. Only professional coders would ask such dumb questions. 1023 | ==================== 1024 | is this a bad spoiler 1025 | ==================== 1026 | i.e. my rant is about your Facebook Comments 1027 | ==================== 1028 | vcgart is awsome 1029 | ==================== 1030 | I just turned 68, and I still use my old Telephones? 1031 | ==================== 1032 | i.e. it's not my fault that your face looks funny 1033 | ==================== 1034 | wait, mobile gaming actually has an industry!? 1035 | ==================== 1036 | I got into programming from watching the Super Bowl. It's a stupid game. 1037 | ==================== 1038 | I'm guessing this isn't a BigQuery bug 1039 | ==================== 1040 | I have a bazillion questions 1041 | ==================== 1042 | wait, Buddy Cianfrance is dating a .(read: not-very) cute girl?! 1043 | ==================== 1044 | so i'm starting a list of things that I like about coding 1045 | ==================== 1046 | Yay! I got a notification that I have a 1st priority at the airport! Well, I'll get to the other flight as soon as I can! 1047 | ==================== 1048 | my stupid blog post is not on any of the TechCrunch blogs, so i won't read it :/ 1049 | ==================== 1050 | i've been using the same password on different sites for nearly 2 years 1051 | ==================== 1052 | I'll take a look. 1053 | ==================== 1054 | I do not want to see your face when I open a new terminal :( 1055 | ==================== 1056 | somewhere 1057 | ==================== 1058 | next blog post will be a quick read, then an easy digest 1059 | ==================== 1060 | Ignore the comments. I'll ignore them myself. :P 1061 | ==================== 1062 | this is an epic fail 1063 | ==================== 1064 | I got into a fight with my friend over something trivial. He was on the wrong side of the law. 1065 | ==================== 1066 | The AI-generated line "You don't have permission to read my messages!" is the best line from a Terminator movie. 1067 | ==================== 1068 | See also: 1069 | ==================== 1070 | the best part of valentine's day is the first date 1071 | ==================== 1072 | I want a pony 1073 | ==================== 1074 | my mom is a time machine 1075 | ==================== 1076 | You know what I really really really really want to see? A Matrix movie plot twist. 1077 | 1078 | Why? 1079 | 1080 | Because I have the slightest clue what the hell is going on. 1081 | ==================== 1082 | you have Japanese as your first language 1083 | ==================== 1084 | you would be surprised how many founders are pitching you about your startup 1085 | 1086 | therefore, you are not allowed to pitch me about my startup 1087 | ==================== 1088 | oh I can do both 1089 | ==================== 1090 | I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. "OMGWTFBBQ" is too much for me. 1091 | ==================== 1092 | you can't have your cake and eat it too. 1093 | ==================== 1094 | I'm surprised no one has taken advantage of the #humblemvp hashtag yet 1095 | ==================== 1096 | I'm sorry I couldn't help. This tweet is now at the top of Hacker News. 1097 | ==================== 1098 | I'm not a fan of using the HN comment system to score negative points, especially when it's not explicitly posted at the bottom of the article or in the footer. 1099 | ==================== 1100 | does he even have an ego 1101 | ==================== 1102 | Has anyone else noticed that your Instagram comments section is a little bit harder to read than the comments on the article itself? 1103 | ==================== 1104 | all your tweets are jokes 1105 | ==================== 1106 | ok then 1107 | ==================== 1108 | I only have ~1/10th of a clue what you're doing when you copy/paste a link from another website. :P 1109 | ==================== 1110 | you suck at graph paper 1111 | ==================== 1112 | you are NOT allowed to link to br.t.c in order to br.t.c. 1113 | ==================== 1114 | I received a text message that said "I have the power to move mountains" from a mysterious person on the subway. 1115 | 1116 | I ignored it. 1117 | ==================== 1118 | The problem is that the former is hardwired into the latter. 1119 | ==================== 1120 | I have the same reaction to TechCrunch articles as anyone. 1121 | ==================== 1122 | did you just subtweet the person you are pissed at 1123 | ==================== 1124 | you are the master of under-promise and over-deliver 1125 | ==================== 1126 | The least offensive thing about the TechCrunch comments is the 'you are very brave' joke. 1127 | ==================== 1128 | is a startup 1129 | ==================== 1130 | why not make a comment in the repo too? 1131 | ==================== 1132 | I heard the second-to-last line in the new Terminator movie: "You are what you eat." 1133 | ==================== 1134 | it's not spam if you don't break any/all the other rules 1135 | ==================== 1136 | but what about the nerdy stuff? 1137 | ==================== 1138 | I had the same reaction to the new Black Friday ads: I was expecting a "10% off" and was disappointed. :( 1139 | ==================== 1140 | Next stop: hell 1141 | ==================== 1142 | why is "This is a cool idea!" the only thing you read in techcrunch 1143 | ==================== 1144 | I was wondering whether the Hacker News comments section is worth checking out. 1145 | ==================== 1146 | Hacker News isn't all doom and gloom. 1147 | ==================== 1148 | there are no boundaries to 7-Eleven's insanity 1149 | ==================== 1150 | wait, they didn't make that joke in the flyer either? 1151 | ==================== 1152 | I am a person who reads reports. 1153 | 1154 | I know this because it is the title of my blog post! 1155 | ==================== 1156 | With no clear winners in the Facebook/Google/Microsoft/etc./Oculus/etc. class-action lawsuit wars, I'm afraid to give any final guesses. 1157 | ==================== 1158 | If Buzzfeed News is going to be the News Feed of the future, they should do at least one redesign. Otherwise, it's not a good design. 1159 | ==================== 1160 | er, it's not spam that's problematic; it's that I didn't specify a timezone when I wrote it 1161 | ==================== 1162 | I love writing tests for the excitement they provide. 1163 | ==================== 1164 | is this 101 1165 | ==================== 1166 | should've gotten a GPTB 1167 | ==================== 1168 | #yolo 1169 | ==================== 1170 | I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. 1171 | ==================== 1172 | I find it interesting that Facebook's own data scientists have a harder time explaining why their data isn't always up to date. 1173 | ==================== 1174 | I bet they're trying to get you to link to their blog. 1175 | ==================== 1176 | i know 1177 | ==================== 1178 | I'm not surprised by that. The DAO was designed to handle this type of thing. 1179 | ==================== 1180 | why is this a question 1181 | ==================== 1182 | I don't follow TechCrunch. Maybe because I'm too busy being awesome? 1183 | ==================== 1184 | I'm not even sure how to respond to this. 1185 | ==================== 1186 | spoiler alert: he is not your mate 1187 | ==================== 1188 | I'm sceptical about a ton of the startup promises in this article, especially since there's no way to verify those promises/truths. #yolo 1189 | ==================== 1190 | not as weird as you might think 1191 | ==================== 1192 | I'll take a look 1193 | ==================== 1194 | Follow me on twitter! 1195 | ==================== 1196 | too difficult for you 1197 | ==================== 1198 | a true pro-Python is one who reads Python documentation 1199 | ==================== 1200 | Aww, have we already had too much coffee? 1201 | ==================== 1202 | woohoo 1203 | ==================== 1204 | that's the first time I've heard that phrase 1205 | ==================== 1206 | But if you do that, you miss out on the "wow, this is the app I was looking for" part. 1207 | ==================== 1208 | he's the one who put the money in it 1209 | ==================== 1210 | yes 1211 | ==================== 1212 | you're literally on the internet 1213 | ==================== 1214 | it's not spam, it's just a list of places you've been 1215 | ==================== 1216 | The video is literally 1/10th of the length of this tweet. (it's 2/10th) 1217 | ==================== 1218 | i didnt give you permission to use my image 1219 | ==================== 1220 | I like how they used a Dave Chappelle song for the intro. 😒 1221 | ==================== 1222 | that's not my cup of tea 1223 | ==================== 1224 | no u 1225 | ==================== 1226 | but when you're first 1227 | ==================== 1228 | fake news is real news 1229 | ==================== 1230 | now you can be an ad hominem swordsman 1231 | ==================== 1232 | he has 3 faces 1233 | ==================== 1234 | I see a startup called "Snapchat." 1235 | ==================== 1236 | is there an uber for getting upvotes? 1237 | ==================== 1238 | I don't know what I'm doing right now. 1239 | ==================== 1240 | spoilers: the "1,000 Facebook shares" was a lie 1241 | ==================== 1242 | I have this theory that your FACE is a URL. 1243 | 1244 | therefore, I will troll you. 1245 | ==================== 1246 | I'm afraid to say it, but this startup is making a lot of buzz on the Internet. Given how popular the feature is on Hacker News, I'm surprised it's not being used more widely. 1247 | ==================== 1248 | OMG you have e-bikes?! 1249 | ==================== 1250 | memes are the new form of advertising 1251 | ==================== 1252 | but it's not my fault that your IP is in the city 1253 | ==================== 1254 | black mirror season 3 1255 | ==================== 1256 | TIL you don't want to know the answer to a question because you are being rude to your coworkers 1257 | ==================== 1258 | spike.png 1259 | ==================== 1260 | I've got an idea. "What if you could apply Sketch to make life-changing design decisions?" 1261 | ==================== 1262 | #shareyourveson 1263 | ==================== 1264 | I am not your mate, bro. 1265 | ==================== 1266 | The main reason I wrote a Incomplete HTML React App is to see how well it performs on the web. I did not expect to see that it actually does well on the desktop. 1267 | ==================== 1268 | and now you have the option of being a "techcrunch writer." 1269 | ==================== 1270 | not really. i'm just writing a series of posts on a slightly different angle on the same data topic. 1271 | 1272 | this is the take I took: 1273 | ==================== 1274 | if you are a person with a disability you are not allowed to link to the message board 1275 | ==================== 1276 | I can't take the comment section seriously anymore 1277 | ==================== 1278 | your FACE is journalism 1279 | ==================== 1280 | spoiler alert: he's a geek 1281 | ==================== 1282 | it's the Floridian that is the flake 1283 | ==================== 1284 | If you want to see how Facebook's Graph API works, this video is for you: 1285 | ==================== 1286 | The Twitter API is broken. It is unable to process the many requests per second it receives. 1287 | 1288 | An even worse case is a spam filter not firing properly. 1289 | 1290 | If you are trying to make a listicle-like AI, you are sorely mistaken. 1291 | ==================== 1292 | I also added a nice feature to my text-generation/assembly language: it can be used as an automatic script to generate a greeting (e.g. with gpt-2-simple) 1293 | ==================== 1294 | there is no such thing as a free lunch 1295 | ==================== 1296 | yes, I am that name 1297 | ==================== 1298 | My uncle has an airbrushed wall! 1299 | ==================== 1300 | #4chan is forever 1301 | ==================== 1302 | Watch TV shows and you cannot stop watching TV shows? I am not sure what you are talking about 1303 | ==================== 1304 | 2^2^2 1305 | ==================== 1306 | I'm surprised no one has taken advantage of this yet. 1307 | ==================== 1308 | oh my god is the subtitle for this read like a conspiracy theory 1309 | ==================== 1310 | you are using google's TPUs to run your own code, which is *not* cool 1311 | ==================== 1312 | My algorithm for finding best-of-neighbor pairs in large datasets is smaller then expected. 1313 | ==================== 1314 | it's a good thing that is a wizard 1315 | ==================== 1316 | "The results are not that exciting." 1317 | ==================== 1318 | New blog post up: Evaluating the Number of Images on a Page Using a Graph Visualization and Sorting Algorithm - 1319 | ==================== 1320 | #firstattemptattweetstorming# 1321 | ==================== 1322 | <|startoftext|>i've been looking into this, but there are a few problems: 1323 | 1324 | 1) the ICO data is not 100% accurate, and there are legitimate security risks (i.e. the likes/dislikes). 1325 | 2) the data isn't 100% accurate either, and the quality of the data is questionable. 1326 | 3) the source of the data is unclear. 1327 | So i'm wondering if there's a way to generate some interesting data for analysis?<|endoftext 1328 | ==================== 1329 | if you have to clickbait to get clicks 1330 | ==================== 1331 | i'm a weirdo 1332 | ==================== 1333 | You hit on me? 1334 | ==================== 1335 | no u 1336 | ==================== 1337 | I am very very not good at word embedding. 1338 | ==================== 1339 | I got into a twitter fight with him over a stupid twitter handle. 1340 | ==================== 1341 | these are the same videos that caused the fracas on Hacker News 1342 | ==================== 1343 | why are there Buddha statues in the middle of the street 1344 | ==================== 1345 | I get that you mean I can vote in future elections 1346 | ==================== 1347 | I have a feeling that the "2.5x is too slow" argument will be used as a crutch by the "4x is faster" crowd. 1348 | ==================== 1349 | did you just slap the author 1350 | ==================== 1351 | There's a reason LinkedIn's internal slogan is "We are not for sale." 1352 | ==================== 1353 | why is your halo black and your bio white and you are not a band tl;dr your bio is stupid 1354 | ==================== 1355 | I have a feeling that is a glitch. 1356 | ==================== 1357 | \ 1358 | ==================== 1359 | This isn't a bug; this is a feature. 1360 | ==================== 1361 | Hacker News is trumpeting the hype on HuffPo, but the article itself is waaaay behind. 1362 | ==================== 1363 | the most important thing about startup valuations is that they don't go up too much over time 1364 | ==================== 1365 | it's not a bug it's a feature 1366 | ==================== 1367 | @#$%^&* 1368 | ==================== 1369 | This is probably my last Hackathon project. Turns out the team is doing new things with React and I'm not happy about it. 1370 | ==================== 1371 | Who would comment on a tech blog? 1372 | ==================== 1373 | it is an AI that makes you want to kill yourself 1374 | ==================== 1375 | HN issue: I don't have the URL of the author. :( 1376 | 1377 | Code: #include 1378 | 1379 | #include 1380 | 1381 | ==================== 1382 | I can't take the bait. #tcdisrupt #tcdisrupting 1383 | ==================== 1384 | I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to use the end of a URL as the start of a URL 1385 | ==================== 1386 | you can have both but not both 1387 | ==================== 1388 | fake news is real 1389 | ==================== 1390 | it's the most obvious way to make a period joke 1391 | ==================== 1392 | The Big List of Naughty Strings is back! #metagames 1393 | ==================== 1394 | You can't have both. 1395 | ==================== 1396 | How many times have you typed .hs? 1397 | 1398 | ? 1399 | ==================== 1400 | he's talking about the music 1401 | <|startoftext|>you are a rude person 1402 | ==================== 1403 | the insurance industry is a private entity, not a bank 1404 | ==================== 1405 | TIL that TechCrunch has a comments section? 1406 | ==================== 1407 | I'm a pedantic data guy. 1408 | ==================== 1409 | Hacker News is crazy. 1410 | ==================== 1411 | you spend a lot of time on TechCrunch 1412 | ==================== 1413 | Even though it's not on TechCrunch, YouTube Video has multiple videos with that title; I simply sorted them by date. (See for more information) 1414 | ==================== 1415 | That was the only time I've ever seen a TechCrunch headline with an exclamation point. 1416 | ==================== 1417 | oh man you take a break from the tech blog world haha 1418 | ==================== 1419 | The real tech blog is the one with the and the headlines. Oops. 1420 | ==================== 1421 | how do you know when you are in bad business 1422 | ==================== 1423 | Opened Secret in the hopes that a Hacker News comment about it would be made negatively. Turns out that comment was not negative, but rather constructive. 1424 | ==================== 1425 | you never stop being a drama queen 1426 | ==================== 1427 | The new Reddit app is a complete abject failure. 1428 | ==================== 1429 | LOL 1430 | ==================== 1431 | the only thing that is certain is that you will fail 1432 | ==================== 1433 | I couldn't figure out how to put this on my blog because of the new SEO rules. (don't ask for upvotes on HN, it's against the rules) 1434 | ==================== 1435 | This wouldn't be any fun for my coworkers. 1436 | ==================== 1437 | you can't use an autoit meme as the title of a blog post 1438 | ==================== 1439 | did you just take a picture of me with a telephoto lens 1440 | ==================== 1441 | This is what happens when you ask for upvotes on HN. 1442 | ==================== 1443 | I can't read that on my phone 1444 | ==================== 1445 | no u 1446 | ==================== 1447 | wait, the Secret is getting weird? 1448 | ==================== 1449 | This is the most edgy Instagram post I've seen in awhile. 1450 | ==================== 1451 | I'm not even sure if this is an actual startup idea 1452 | ==================== 1453 | oh i know, love it when the retweets are from me 1454 | ==================== 1455 | How may comments be made? 1456 | ==================== 1457 | I am not your mate, bro. 1458 | ==================== 1459 | All of these are the names of my cats. 1460 | ==================== 1461 | I would like to see a list of Github forks that I can merge into. It would be useful for looking at the history of forks. 1462 | ==================== 1463 | curse of dimensionality mismatch 1464 | ==================== 1465 | This is my attempt at building a "how-to" video on how to do a certain action. It's a bit much, but I'm willing to give it a try. 1466 | 1467 | I'll remove any future attempts at video hosting if this succeeds. 1468 | ==================== 1469 | Skyscanner now has a :) 1470 | ==================== 1471 | no, you are the one that had the sandwich 1472 | ==================== 1473 | I don't think TechCrunch is for me. 1474 | ==================== 1475 | the secret srs of startups is: you* 1476 | ==================== 1477 | I've been meaning to do a blog post on a related subject. Unfortunately, I can't write a blog post right now because I have a deadline. (but then I probably wouldn't be active enough in the blogging community anyway) 1478 | ==================== 1479 | I had the same reaction when reading The Signal and the Verge posts are almost the same length. 1480 | ==================== 1481 | is this a form letter? 1482 | ==================== 1483 | The Timeline is now showing the face-tracking of the face for the first time! #yolo 1484 | ==================== 1485 | ...I am a big fan of the "do you have any idea how hard it is to lose" question. It's more than a rhetorical trick. 1486 | ==================== 1487 | spoiler: he's a clone 1488 | ==================== 1489 | if your head is hurting, you should see a doctor 1490 | ==================== 1491 | I was wondering if their blog feeds were part of the same feed. 1492 | 1493 | It's not a big deal since most sites don't care. 1494 | 1495 | However, if yours is the case, you will get a "Your feed was last modified on: Thu, 15 Dec 2017 17:56:47 GMT" notification when trying to access your blog. 1496 | 1497 | Looks like your query was not found on their site! 1498 | ==================== 1499 | GitHub is getting pretty old and I'm really curious if there is a way to migrate/rework it to a modern framework. 1500 | ==================== 1501 | The Prologue to the Novel is a Spoiler: The Author was a Robot 1502 | ==================== 1503 | I'm surprised no one has made a Datum-centric joke before 1504 | ==================== 1505 | this is a list of places on earth that people have had Stare-Offs with people. Not all of them are creepshots. 1506 | ==================== 1507 | Wacky name for a startup 1508 | ==================== 1509 | this is an awesome little blog post 1510 | ==================== 1511 | But you didn't need to be a reddit to like /r/dataisbeautiful 1512 | ==================== 1513 | you can't be the voice of reason. that's cheating 1514 | ==================== 1515 | you have to be 6 to be a Pokemon 1516 | ==================== 1517 | disrupt office 1518 | ==================== 1519 | the original post is not public visibility 1520 | ==================== 1521 | Again, I am not an expert on this topic. All I know is that I am not doing my homework. 1522 | ==================== 1523 | so the answer is yes 1524 | ==================== 1525 | I don't care if you are dying to read my story "I'm Not Gonna Work With You Tomorrow" 1526 | ==================== 1527 | ... 1528 | ==================== 1529 | i'm not a troll, i'm a techcrunch reporter 1530 | ==================== 1531 | For those wondering which subreddits endorsed which candidates, I looked up which subreddits endorsed which candidates using stack overflow. #yolo 1532 | ==================== 1533 | Hacker News is serious business. 1534 | ==================== 1535 | I was head of QA at Facebook from 2013-2014, and I am literally in a fad-town. 1536 | ==================== 1537 | I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic, but you're using the hashtag #smiliespsqare 1538 | ==================== 1539 | The mention of "Veronica Mars" has a funny way of triggering "read my lips, don't tell me" in your face situations. 1540 | ==================== 1541 | I'll be at the party if you want to dance 1542 | ==================== 1543 | it's not global warming, it's geology 1544 | ==================== 1545 | are you seriously spamming people to get upvotes for bad links 1546 | ==================== 1547 | Disclosure: TechCrunch writer and blogger Dan Lyons is an investor in this post. 1548 | 1549 | 1550 | ==================== 1551 | I may or may not do that 1552 | ==================== 1553 | The restaurant is the one with the best view of the ocean. 1554 | ==================== 1555 | You've been hit by a taxi. You've been hit by a car. You've been hit by a truck. You've been hit by a postcard. 1556 | ==================== 1557 | hooray for no man's name ending with a d! 1558 | ==================== 1559 | Is the New York subway system called the "Tower of Terror"? 1560 | ==================== 1561 | That's not going to happen. 1562 | ==================== 1563 | i.e. the personal attack wasn't effective because the person didn't get it 1564 | ==================== 1565 | I only use a few key bindings in Emacs, which is too bad because I really like using them. 1566 | ==================== 1567 | anime is real 1568 | ==================== 1569 | don't ask for upvotes on HN 1570 | ==================== 1571 | it's a trap you don't know what it is 1572 | ==================== 1573 | it's the 90's and you still use Venn diagrams? 1574 | ==================== 1575 | I'm happy to report that the #humblebrag is paying off. 1576 | ==================== 1577 | I am going to have to add a comment to it, since it's getting a lot of attention. 1578 | ==================== 1579 | oh that was a joke 1580 | ==================== 1581 | lol 1582 | ==================== 1583 | The biggest difference between my posts is that the former post is a *-length* explanation and the latter post is a *-short* explanation 1584 | ==================== 1585 | I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious. 1586 | ==================== 1587 | I don't care what you say, I will punch you in the face 1588 | ==================== 1589 | ---- 1590 | ==================== 1591 | #1Entrepreneur 1592 | ==================== 1593 | I also have a tool to generate charts of startup valuation: 1594 | 1595 | If you want to see what a given startup is worth, this will do the trick: 1596 | ==================== 1597 | I'm not happy that my article about Facebook ads was pulled due to it being posted on the /r/data subreddit. 1598 | 1599 | I posted a link to my article to the /r/data subreddit, and they didn't like the article. 1600 | 1601 | It got downvoted to negative karma, and then I saw this comment: 1602 | ==================== 1603 | I got into programming because I was bored. I didn't even know how to code. I just wrote a script and executed it. 1604 | ==================== 1605 | I'm sorry about the late post. 1606 | ==================== 1607 | new app: feel-good social network for new users 1608 | ==================== 1609 | me rn 1610 | ==================== 1611 | so i'm calling it a day anyway 1612 | ==================== 1613 | I love when techcrunch does the Clinkle move and photoshops themselves. 1614 | ==================== 1615 | One of my pet peeves is articles with an expiration date. Why is it that articles with a specific date are still relevant? 1616 | ==================== 1617 | This is what happens when I screw up the CSS on my blog post 1618 | ==================== 1619 | I have a Chrome plugin that tries to detect duplicates of links on a webpage, but it's showing a lot of false positives. (#hat2wtfface) 1620 | ==================== 1621 | this is what happens when i am not looking 1622 | ==================== 1623 | Read the WSJ article, or read the comments section. 1624 | ==================== 1625 | you didn't say you were first 1626 | ==================== 1627 | a) the Invincible Hulk b) the Kong: Chip in that Chip does not like it 1628 | ==================== 1629 | you should create a subreddit for getting upvotes 1630 | ==================== 1631 | it is 1632 | ==================== 1633 | why is there a giant X-Box One in the middle of the lobby at the New York Public Library 1634 | ==================== 1635 | I have the same reaction when I see this tweet. 1636 | ==================== 1637 | Someone once asked me if I was a "filler". 1638 | ==================== 1639 | I'm not your mate, bro 1640 | ==================== 1641 | it's very cold in hell 1642 | ==================== 1643 | I'm not sure what I'm doing here 1644 | ==================== 1645 | The best way to stop is to double-down on the same technique you just used. 1646 | ==================== 1647 | i'm an old german and i hate it when people call me stupid 1648 | ==================== 1649 | According to the YC website, "the purpose of the YC is to foster the growth and dissemination of knowledge about the artistic, technical, and social aspects of computer graphics." 1650 | ==================== 1651 | I am a fan of CSR for large-scale projects because they are cheap to run and they are sensitive to underperformance. 1652 | ==================== 1653 | I have some experiments I want to do 1654 | ==================== 1655 | Yesterday, we wrote a post about why startups are using AdBlock in the wrong way. This post explains why AdBlock is important and how to fix it. 1656 | ==================== 1657 | lol 1658 | ==================== 1659 | Pushing the browser-based regression model to see if there's a correlation between the number of times a given keyword is used and the number of times that a given keyword is used to perform the action (i.e. if it's a linear relationship) 1660 | ==================== 1661 | in other news: there is still a small amount of saturation 1662 | ==================== 1663 | this is good 1664 | ==================== 1665 | I'm sorry, that is a forbidden syntax 1666 | ==================== 1667 | Worst tech headline: "How to Make the Perfect 3-D Model of a Person with Autism" 1668 | ==================== 1669 | I can't tell the difference between the two 1670 | ==================== 1671 | wtf 1672 | ==================== 1673 | Something about knitting 1674 | ==================== 1675 | if you are building a data science startup, you should write a r report and send it to the HR department 1676 | ==================== 1677 | I could write a book on the "hackernews.png" meme. 1678 | ==================== 1679 | divorced tweet 1680 | ==================== 1681 | Your FACE is a ghastly, terrifying memory. 1682 | ==================== 1683 | This is the most depressing article I've read in awhile. 1684 | ==================== 1685 | I saw that title and thought "OMG I AM A DIRTY DYNASTY" 1686 | ==================== 1687 | I'm not taking any money from VCs for writing a blog post about my startup. 1688 | 1689 | I'm just going to apply the HN rules and that will be it. 1690 | ==================== 1691 | this is the most tech-crunch-eyeball-flipping thing i've ever seen 1692 | ==================== 1693 | not as bad as you want it to be 1694 | ==================== 1695 | the new Twitter default is read more I agree 1696 | ==================== 1697 | oh okay 1698 | 1699 | no worries I'll start blogging about datavolt/TC heatmaps in a sec 1700 | ==================== 1701 | Because Reddit doesn't allow polls that force a 'yes' answer, I created a fake one (shown below) 1702 | ==================== 1703 | This is my jam. 1704 | ==================== 1705 | I'm surprised no one has ever done a blog about this before. 1706 | ==================== 1707 | not really, I just had a hard time making good tags on a blank document. (also, I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic or not) 1708 | ==================== 1709 | I also want to do a new type of competition called "What if there was a Facebook for Words?" 1710 | ==================== 1711 | I'm writing a blog post on why I don't use Bootstrap when my Bootstrap themes break. (I'm pretty sure it's because there's no trend there) 1712 | ==================== 1713 | #firstattemptattweetstorming #nochill 1714 | ==================== 1715 | #cringefail 1716 | ==================== 1717 | To be clear, I'm not calling for banning of Gawker Media's writers. I'm just calling for more transparency around the industry. 1718 | ==================== 1719 | subtweet.png 1720 | ==================== 1721 | Me: What is the context of the Instagram post? 1722 | ==================== 1723 | I have a feeling that this is going to get interesting 1724 | ==================== 1725 | The has a for effort. 1726 | ==================== 1727 | #1RedditCommentOfTheDay 1728 | ==================== 1729 | I got a text on my phone asking me for directions. If you want to see a map, I have an article about it here: 1730 | ==================== 1731 | This quote from Elon Musk on the future of transportation is the most inspiring quote I've read in a while 1732 | ==================== 1733 | wtf is a textarea 1734 | ==================== 1735 | 1. [+1, -0] People always ask me about my dogs. 1736 | 1737 | 2. [+1, -0] Why are you still using Facebook Polling? 1738 | ==================== 1739 | trouble is, i can't do it for techcrunch because it's too late 1740 | ==================== 1741 | had a Golang. It's not the same thing, but it's close 1742 | ==================== 1743 | I could go on and on about how good the Secret is, but I'm going to keep it to myself. #humble #blessed 1744 | ==================== 1745 | this is an amazing question 1746 | ==================== 1747 | I have a feeling that most of the Big-O users are in their 30's 1748 | ==================== 1749 | I got into a fight with my brother and he kicked me. (I was hit with a headbutt too) 1750 | ==================== 1751 | he's a spooky ghost ghost ghost ghost ghost 1752 | ==================== 1753 | Not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious. 1754 | ==================== 1755 | did you just subtweet a meme 1756 | ==================== 1757 | This article is best-written by a 5-year-old <3 1758 | ==================== 1759 | is this a TechCrunch headline 1760 | ==================== 1761 | Is making a list of reasons to get a stinky fart a thing now? 1762 | ==================== 1763 | this is the best startup idea I've seen in awhile 1764 | ==================== 1765 | I was surprised that the top comment in the article was not by a HuffPost blogger. 1766 | 1767 | Maybe it was because of the "I greatly admire your work ethic!" line. 1768 | ==================== 1769 | I have the same reaction when reading your articles. 1770 | ==================== 1771 | is there a way to tell whether two tweets are from the same person 1772 | ==================== 1773 | Needless to say, I didn't expect too many things from this tweet. 1774 | ==================== 1775 | I'm surprised there are more websites about redditgifts than other things. 1776 | ==================== 1777 | wait, what? 1778 | ==================== 1779 | is this a "what if" scenario 1780 | ==================== 1781 | this isn't a story about startups 1782 | ==================== 1783 | I wouldn't exactly be proud of this. 1784 | ==================== 1785 | I was curious if there was a way to look at the location of a point in 3D space that wasn't disturbing the user? 1786 | ==================== 1787 | i'm a pixel 1788 | ==================== 1789 | is that like nyt? 1790 | ==================== 1791 | you are the original reddit gold 1792 | ==================== 1793 | I'd prefer if you left the "I" and used "they." 1794 | ==================== 1795 | This is a great post by : 1796 | ==================== 1797 | YES 1798 | ==================== 1799 | wrong site, wrong data 1800 | ==================== 1801 | the former is the illustrated version 1802 | ==================== 1803 | Brilliant 1804 | ==================== 1805 | OMGWTFBBQ 1806 | ==================== 1807 | this is your reminder that you are 24: 1808 | ==================== 1809 | I am very very sorry about the horrible typo 1810 | ==================== 1811 | This is why startups should hire me for their projects. I can fix their stuff. :) 1812 | ==================== 1813 | This is the most pointless and shallow HR rep survey I've seen in quite awhile 1814 | ==================== 1815 | is this a comment from the internet? 1816 | ==================== 1817 | Spending my free time trying to understand why some people love reading a blog post. I can't help but wonder if there's a correlation between positive comments and positive behavior 1818 | ==================== 1819 | I also have a *lot* of cool projects I'll be working on in the near future. 1820 | ==================== 1821 | I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or if you're being sincere. 1822 | ==================== 1823 | I want to be a life coach. 1824 | ==================== 1825 | This is the first time I've seen a Github contribution that had a .png suffix. 1826 | ==================== 1827 | I could stand to read techcrunch more. 1828 | ==================== 1829 | I need more stats on mobile ad networks. :P 1830 | ==================== 1831 | I did a search on "sex dolls" on Etsy, and I didn't find anything. :( 1832 | ==================== 1833 | 3/ The worst offenders 1834 | ==================== 1835 | is this a mod edit of your own creation? 1836 | ==================== 1837 | Wizard World is a nicer place 1838 | ==================== 1839 | oh dude, was in a business school <3 1840 | ==================== 1841 | wtf is this world 1842 | ==================== 1843 | this is why I like working for screaming eyeballs 1844 | ==================== 1845 | I've been aware of the "X is like Y in this case" meme for a while now. (I'm not sure if it's because they're making fun of the Hackathon scene, or if they're actually mocking the meme.) 1846 | ==================== 1847 | are you buying gallons of instead of quarts? 1848 | ==================== 1849 | i don't follow you at all 1850 | ==================== 1851 | This post is going to be very interesting. 1852 | ==================== 1853 | cats are the new pirates 1854 | ==================== 1855 | you have a few options: 1856 | ==================== 1857 | <|startoftext|>ţ̙̗̗̗̘̱̩̘̻̘̗̩̱̠̗̣̻̝̥̹̟̝̞̗̩̗̗̰̙̖̩̪̟̔̔̔̔̔̔̔̾̔̔̋̆̚̚̚� 1858 | ==================== 1859 | Hacker News is legitimately a place for drama. 1860 | ==================== 1861 | I'm not surprised that TechCrunch comments sections are getting a Make-Your-Own Layout! 1862 | ==================== 1863 | Wait, is there a way to get a list of tweets with the most-likes without actually reading the text? 1864 | ==================== 1865 | The worst part about doing your own hands-on reporting is that you're not allowed to do anything with it that isn't breaking the rules. Fortunately, I have a script to check for broken rules! 1866 | ==================== 1867 | I really, really wanted to write a blog post on how to make a better Reddit bot, but I'm afraid to look at potential problems with the existing technology. 1868 | 1869 | 1870 | ==================== 1871 | you have a point 1872 | ==================== 1873 | yay 1874 | ==================== 1875 | no, you are not allowed to link to it 1876 | ==================== 1877 | in the middle of nowhere 1878 | ==================== 1879 | these are the rules of mr. mag* 1880 | ==================== 1881 | 1/10th scale 1882 | ==================== 1883 | wut 1884 | ==================== 1885 | you have a gun 1886 | ==================== 1887 | is a superhero 1888 | ==================== 1889 | what are you talking about reaction times are way too slow 1890 | ==================== 1891 | but you are not allowed to link to the main page 1892 | ==================== 1893 | Startups are building AI to predict stock prices, but it's not perfect. 1894 | ==================== 1895 | You are a bad role model 1896 | ==================== 1897 | I sent a PM to this article, hoping to get a response! 1898 | ==================== 1899 | I'm a fan of the Scout Brothers. They have a tendency to do that. 1900 | ==================== 1901 | THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN "NO" 1902 | ==================== 1903 | The only people I REALLY want to get into arguments with over e-mail are idiots. 1904 | ==================== 1905 | i had a falconer on my arm 1906 | ==================== 1907 | If your blog post is on a 1% article, you are doing it wrong 1908 | ==================== 1909 | Whoops, sorry about that. I meant to say that I didn't know what I was looking at. 1910 | ==================== 1911 | I like how the title of the article is <1/10th of a tweet 1912 | ==================== 1913 | all the rage on Hacker News 1914 | ==================== 1915 | I have an idea for a blog post about this: 1916 | ==================== 1917 | This is a comment on another comment that I made a few days ago 1918 | ==================== 1919 | I don't even know how to respond to that. 1920 | ==================== 1921 | Unknown source for the following image. It looks like it's from the Portal 2 art portfolio 1922 | ==================== 1923 | you can't have your cake and eat it too, so don't f*cking troll me 1924 | ==================== 1925 | There's a difference between using a bot to gain access to a target account and actively trying to gain access to that account. 1926 | ==================== 1927 | NYC is getting out of control. Many of the streets are blocked off with police cars. #blockbusting 1928 | ==================== 1929 | http://imgur.com/a/i0lKz 1930 | ==================== 1931 | There's a difference between "workspace optimization" and "future tech entrepreneurship." 1932 | ==================== 1933 | But they don't even live there :( 1934 | ==================== 1935 | all your tweets are jokes tbh 1936 | ==================== 1937 | I did a quick search on whether to link it or not and chose not to link because it is misleading. 1938 | ==================== 1939 | this is a short blog post (or is it?) 1940 | ==================== 1941 | That's the only way I can describe the title of this article. 1942 | ==================== 1943 | The GPT-2 Model View Controller is now available on GitHub! 1944 | ==================== 1945 | I thought techcrunch was for trendy young geeks 1946 | ==================== 1947 | #NotMyJob 1948 | ==================== 1949 | I'll be there on Saturday 1950 | ==================== 1951 | The Best Thing About College-Bound Programming 1952 | ==================== 1953 | if you were to have a list of 50 best lists of startup incubators, this would be #3 1954 | ==================== 1955 | <|startoftext|>new blog post up: How to Calculate Average Salary for a Job at 4 Previous Companies in 1 Hour (and No Updating) - 1956 | 1957 | \r 1958 | 1959 | \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t 1960 | ==================== 1961 | #SelfieWithMike 1962 | ==================== 1963 | Yes. If you are going to tweet links, I recommend linking directly to the article. Otherwise, you might as well link to the text instead. 1964 | ==================== 1965 | wait, you have your own tweet featured on techmeme?!? 1966 | ==================== 1967 | I can't embed my tweets in the article because I'm lazy 1968 | ==================== 1969 | anyone remember scrollmover? 1970 | ==================== 1971 | You Are Not Your Own Quote 1972 | 1973 | > 1974 | 1975 | 1976 | ==================== 1977 | The CEO of Hubspot is calling a spade a spade. 1978 | ==================== 1979 | I had the same reaction when reading this article. What is wrong with me 1980 | ==================== 1981 | in response to "Changing The World" 1982 | ==================== 1983 | i thought it was a series of tubes 1984 | ==================== 1985 | I thought Facebook and Twitter had gone mainstream? 1986 | ==================== 1987 | totally not 2ch's fault 1988 | ==================== 1989 | no, they are just in awe of your technology gumption 1990 | ==================== 1991 | #firstworldyolo 1992 | ==================== 1993 | I do first world stuff. 1994 | ==================== 1995 | ok fine i'll do it 1996 | ==================== 1997 | What is the technology behind the "AI-generated pluralsets" in the new Facebook News Feed update? 1998 | ==================== 1999 | this is the most unoriginal headline i've seen in a while 2000 | ==================== 2001 | is there an uber for hittingmen 2002 | ==================== 2003 | I have a personal interest in automating most of the above, although I have no idea how to actually implement it yet. (I'll take a look.) 2004 | ==================== 2005 | wait, what? 2006 | ==================== 2007 | cheapo online photo shoot 2008 | ==================== 2009 | OMG PENNY 2010 | ==================== 2011 | I've been looking into getting my hands on the latest Tomb Raider Laravel trick, but unfortunately I can't do it without getting hacked/viralized/etc. 2012 | ==================== 2013 | The tech blog comment section is the most ignored section of the internet. 2014 | ==================== 2015 | I can't wait until techcrunch decides to do a story on the Korean War. 2016 | ==================== 2017 | I understand that you're trying to be trendy. 2018 | ==================== 2019 | er, who needs friends when you have zenefits 2020 | ==================== 2021 | 2/10 2022 | ==================== 2023 | I got into an argument with my partner over whether or not to get rid of our adorable puppy Papillon. (Papillon is now 4 years old, and I don't want to destroy her future) 2024 | ==================== 2025 | I had no idea that the Twitter "fatpeoplerage" subs had become so popular. 2026 | ==================== 2027 | I really really really really want to do a blog post on the topic of "how to get more Twitter followers without getting creeped out by your followers." 2028 | ==================== 2029 | #NinetyDaysInModerland 2030 | ==================== 2031 | this could be a game-changer 2032 | ==================== 2033 | oh I can use my shitty command line! :P 2034 | ==================== 2035 | Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. 2036 | ==================== 2037 | but it is a bullshit secret so no one can get it 2038 | ==================== 2039 | I have a feeling this blog post is going to make people mad 2040 | ==================== 2041 | I was worried that this blog post would be seen as spam. Turns out it's not. 2042 | ==================== 2043 | about speedtest.txt 2044 | ==================== 2045 | Watching the Tesla Model 3 launch was the most depressing I have ever seen a live-stream 2046 | ==================== 2047 | i.e I am not your mate. i.e. i'll kill you. please don't mess with my jokes 2048 | ==================== 2049 | TIL that in Silicon Valley, a "hacker" is someone who breaks software. 2050 | ==================== 2051 | it's not the time machine, it's a pair of scissors 2052 | ==================== 2053 | Twitter's AI is making predictions that are off by a factor of 2x. I am quite okay with that since I have done predictive text many times before 2054 | ==================== 2055 | #NameYourPrice 2056 | ==================== 2057 | The company you work for is going to have a bad day. 2058 | ==================== 2059 | I like the #yolo 2060 | ==================== 2061 | you still have not learned how to read. Reading is for losers 2062 | ==================== 2063 | I have a feeling these are the same people who wrote the Boogie for the Daily Show. Spoiler: they are not. cc 2064 | ==================== 2065 | If you don't have an account, you will be blocked. 2066 | ==================== 2067 | This app is really cool. 2068 | ==================== 2069 | Reddit Code 2070 | ==================== 2071 | LPT: Thanks for letting me know about your problems! 2072 | ==================== 2073 | 3. stick with the same 2074 | ==================== 2075 | does this mean that you should be wearing a yurt 2076 | ==================== 2077 | yes 2078 | ==================== 2079 | Worst headline: "Flipboard is Dead" 2080 | ==================== 2081 | I have been seeing a lot of "iterating over" headlines lately. :\ 2082 | ==================== 2083 | from: 2084 | ==================== 2085 | looks like i have to take a break from net neutrality 2086 | ==================== 2087 | i knew it 2088 | ==================== 2089 | That's a surprisingly good number of hits for a blog post. 2090 | ==================== 2091 | I was expecting a "I work for BuzzFeed and I suck" story, but no such luck. 2092 | ==================== 2093 | isn't this the subject of the subtext joke 2094 | ==================== 2095 | I personally like the codebase, but I'd rather have seen some kind of performance metric to measure the time taken to complete the task. 😂 2096 | 2097 | I have an idea for a chart of the time taken to complete a given task: 2098 | 2099 | 2100 | ==================== 2101 | I am a sys admin at ❤ and i am not happy 2102 | ==================== 2103 | I used the phrase "reset your password." 2104 | ==================== 2105 | I am a little late to the party on this one, but the recent controversy over GitHub's policy on repos 2106 | ==================== 2107 | Dyes are the new black. 2108 | ==================== 2109 | curse of dimensionality overflow 2110 | <|startoftext|>multiple links in the same article 2111 | ==================== 2112 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /examples/chrissyteigen_355M.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | Trying to get the perfect scrambled egg recipe from my blog post. A little goes a long way I'm sure. 2 | ==================== 3 | that's not true 4 | ==================== 5 | I'm now eating a muffin and a sausage so I'm pretty happy 6 | ==================== 7 | lol 8 | ==================== 9 | can someone tell me what the dreaded "catfish" is? do you know what a catfish is? I'm a catfish, I am curious. 10 | ==================== 11 | I have never been an "educated" person. I read the rulebook. Now I am more than just "educated" on it. Lol 12 | ==================== 13 | why do people think this 14 | ==================== 15 | I've done it. I am an impostor. RT Im a fake impostor RT Im a fake impostor 16 | ==================== 17 | This is a really special day/hour. Thank you, ! 18 | ==================== 19 | Cheerios just gave me a checos del vista sandwich. I love them. They are so light and fluffy and good. Always. I slather my face with it and throw it in the trash. I never eat it because it's just so nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy. 20 | ==================== 21 | fuck I love you 22 | ==================== 23 | that is a really long reply; I am sorry. I am trying to think of something shorter. thanks! 24 | ==================== 25 | blubbering 26 | ==================== 27 | I'm with ! 28 | ==================== 29 | the best part is that the only way the cookies will melt is by baking them at 375 degrees. which means they will be perfectly soft even after baking. not soft at all! 30 | ==================== 31 | Love you guys!!!!! 32 | ==================== 33 | This was my favorite tweet of the night. I love it. I love it. I love it. 34 | ==================== 35 | I'm sorry I'm not here today!! 36 | ==================== 37 | WORD 38 | ==================== 39 | I don't know what the fuck you are talking about but I heard a noise and I'm not the only one you're mad at. 40 | ==================== 41 | I am the kind of person who demands I have a photo of my dog on the plane. I demand it be so big and yet so tiny I can't say what I want without it. 42 | ==================== 43 | Very proud of my vegan chili! It's like we are meeting at the animal crossing and I am the animal crossing cop 44 | ==================== 45 | Boulder is the best. I love him. 46 | ==================== 47 | It's happening 48 | ==================== 49 | Just saw the cover to ! Love it! 50 | ==================== 51 | I will be at the show! I will be there! 52 | ==================== 53 | I'm going to try to be as funny as possible. ❤️👯 54 | ==================== 55 | lol I am doing this too 56 | ==================== 57 | hahahahha 58 | ==================== 59 | Ew. Rotten 60 | ==================== 61 | oh my god. you are so much dammit. 62 | ==================== 63 | you literally don't know how to do a zucchini! I am the only person on the planet that can make one, I swear! 64 | ==================== 65 | I just flipped through the photos and never noticed. I am the weirdest 66 | ==================== 67 | I get it what u are saying but this is the hard part. I love all the hard parts but this is the hardest part of my day! 68 | ==================== 69 | u should be tired and angry all the time 70 | ==================== 71 | I love that I have to read the whole thing for it to make sure it was really him. I think he was a really nice guy. I love him. 72 | ==================== 73 | I don't know anyone who doesn't like sweet potatoes 74 | ==================== 75 | 😂 76 | ==================== 77 | I'm surprised you don't follow me 78 | ==================== 79 | I am the worst dancer 80 | ==================== 81 | I have a confession to make. I had no idea what I was doing when I started the plane. 82 | ==================== 83 | I love your site, I really. Love. You are the best ever. Can't wait to come back. RT They're pale! RT they're pale... 84 | ==================== 85 | it's happening 86 | ==================== 87 | This is exactly what I was looking for. 88 | ==================== 89 | I was only joking I was there. What a stupid and morbid tweet. 90 | ==================== 91 | I have no idea. I am not a dog person. I am a cat person. 92 | ==================== 93 | LOL 94 | ==================== 95 | Just saw my character name on the bus. I really need to learn to make more of an effort to not be such a fucking idiot 96 | ==================== 97 | #NYCW is the funniest, coolest, sweetest, cleanest, and smartest show on television. #CRAVINGS2 is the sequel to #NYCW and will be my life. Mastered the whole way, seriously. 98 | ==================== 99 | I love you. 100 | ==================== 101 | thank you!! 102 | ==================== 103 | I woke up to a voicemail of a person claiming to be john legend's brother. I answered the phone and it said he died. I called the police and the guy hung up. I am the police, I tell the truth, I get angry. I am the police. Hahah 104 | ==================== 105 | just heard that can be found on ! I can edit this but I am a stan #superstar 106 | ==================== 107 | I don't understand any of this but when I hit the comments section below with a question I am like "um yeah fuck it" 108 | ==================== 109 | lol 110 | ==================== 111 | you are right. i'm bored. 112 | ==================== 113 | hahahahaha 114 | ==================== 115 | I won't stop thinking you are a murderer until I see your death certificate. 116 | ==================== 117 | lol 118 | ==================== 119 | I said I am not a religious woman. Do I still have to say I am a religious woman? This is sick. 120 | ==================== 121 | I have a lot of respect for those people. I really do. 122 | ==================== 123 | you are completely and utterly moronic 124 | ==================== 125 | I have someone who literally does not even get it. I am not kidding. Like, I don't have the words "awwwwww" or "fuuuuuuuuuu" in my vocabulary. I am lost. 126 | ==================== 127 | Tiger stripes. Don't care about the stripes. You got the chicken. Got a cup of soup. Oh boy, will I try this 128 | ==================== 129 | hahahahahahahahaha 130 | ==================== 131 | I did when I was nervous in the morning. Also yes. It's a good thing I am nervous now. I hate it. 132 | ==================== 133 | hahahahaha 134 | ==================== 135 | EVEN IF YOU HAD THE AIRPORT I WOULD HAVE TOLD U TO GO TO THE AIRPORT YOU ARE FOOLIN US 136 | ==================== 137 | I prefer, "lunesta". 138 | ==================== 139 | my favorite part about the show is how people can't pronounce it 140 | ==================== 141 | i am not anti-smoking. i am pro-smoking. but i am smoking a e cigarette and it is smoky. not smoking. and it's not a e. gah i am pro-smoking. it's a pro-smoking e. gah. 142 | ==================== 143 | the only thing I hate more than a phone is a slow, heavy, rectangular slab of tissue paper wrapped in tissue paper. it is this poor animal. 144 | ==================== 145 | sigh. not the same. too much. thank you. 146 | ==================== 147 | so cute 148 | ==================== 149 | getting ready for a big job in a few weeks, photo shoot in the sun, drinking red wine with and ! not a bad day. haha 150 | ==================== 151 | I mean...I know you're a huge distance and all but I don't get why anyone would be mad at you for an imaginary flight number? 152 | ==================== 153 | I quit you 154 | ==================== 155 | I would totally buy the book book by John Legend and we would be friends. 156 | ==================== 157 | I have no life. This is what I am. I can't do it justice. I just need your love. 158 | ==================== 159 | I am so sorry I was not able to be there. I will be in Vegas this weekend! 160 | ==================== 161 | I'm not mad at you. I'm just saying that even if it was on my phone I would have beeneps. Because I would have. I would have. I would have. I'm not a god damn lawyer. 162 | ==================== 163 | Every time I send an email to my account I get it back. I must be a very lazy and forgetful email tester. 164 | ==================== 165 | I love that name. I think it's awesome. 166 | ==================== 167 | You have to admit, you did not look like a total moron. 168 | ==================== 169 | I'm pretty excited about this but I don't want to be a batman 170 | ==================== 171 | lol 172 | ==================== 173 | can't decide if i like you or hate you. 174 | ==================== 175 | lol! 176 | ==================== 177 | The only thing worse than an actual, physical flight is one of them not being an actual flight. Hahaha 178 | ==================== 179 | hey guys, my date at the airport. 180 | ==================== 181 | I mean is that a real person? Like their names are real or something? I'm not gonna pretend I have a heart of gold and throw it all away just like the mannequin that is john? 182 | ==================== 183 | I'm not a fucking park ranger dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit 184 | ==================== 185 | it's just that. it's a lot. thank you for sharing, sir! 186 | ==================== 187 | aw shit. thank you! 188 | ==================== 189 | I can't keep my mind off of this beautiful sunrise. I will never get over this beauty. 190 | ==================== 191 | !! 192 | ==================== 193 | I was just about to ask someone how much they hate me. 194 | ==================== 195 | I don't have a twitter. What do I do with my life? 196 | ==================== 197 | At least he's one of the good ones. I wait for the ass-whipping. I am a...wait for...a good person? 198 | ==================== 199 | I have been watching "an hour before" on HBO. I am obsessed. I have never had so much for one show in my life. I am about to watch every single one since. HBO is my life. I love it. 200 | ==================== 201 | I really like that it's a play. It's a turn off. I love a turn off. It would be turn offy to turn it off. 202 | ==================== 203 | i know it's on, but i have no idea what it is or why it is on. haha 204 | ==================== 205 | i am not mad at you. i am, however, irritated and yet I am not sad. 206 | ==================== 207 | Ok...what is something I should eat now that I got home? 208 | ==================== 209 | NO it's not. it's my hair. 210 | ==================== 211 | I just asked my stylist if I could take my hat off. He said yes. Well I guess you should take your hat off too. 212 | ==================== 213 | nice to meet you! 214 | ==================== 215 | I'm going to do an old-fashioned gum and make a big ol' ramekin. Then I'm going to roast a chicken with a big ol' ramekin. Then I'm going to make gum and take it and put it in my mouth and eat it like a gum 216 | ==================== 217 | boo. vocally anti-gay, I hear you. my apologies. it's a shame. anti-gay, I hear ya. but you are right. I must have missed the tweet. :( 218 | ==================== 219 | What will happen if I don't cancel my extension for the night? I've thought about this and realized I am a stupid fucking idiot 220 | ==================== 221 | love you guys!! I am sad I'm not as good as for my hair and makeup because I love you 222 | ==================== 223 | you guys are so sweet. 224 | ==================== 225 | what do you think, dear? I am not a doctor. 226 | ==================== 227 | you have been extremely kind. thank you! 228 | ==================== 229 | Omg it's like my parents are on drugs and they are taking me away from my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and friends and nannies and stepchildren 230 | ==================== 231 | check out my cooking wowzenegger.com site! ohhhhhhhh man you will not be disappointed!! 232 | ==================== 233 | I'm going to try to be a little less judgmental here 234 | ==================== 235 | lol 236 | ==================== 237 | Let's talk about the best part of every pizza there is 238 | ==================== 239 | Ok 240 | ==================== 241 | ah. so sweet. 242 | ==================== 243 | I am not kidding. <3 244 | ==================== 245 | lol 246 | ==================== 247 | i just called a pizza place. the owner said, "not yet. sorry! we need to get some ingredients for you" 248 | ==================== 249 | YESSSS!! 250 | ==================== 251 | blobber 252 | ==================== 253 | I have the most incredible friends and I'm not bitter and I don't hate you, I'm curious. I'm curious. 254 | ==================== 255 | I am so mad at these people. 256 | ==================== 257 | I got you a fancy new phone. I thought I saw your face from behind the screen but it was the other way around. It's yours! 258 | ==================== 259 | I'm sure it's a good thing my vagina didn't say "NO" to this ahhh 260 | ==================== 261 | I love that you guys can't tell the difference between a real life phone and a toy phone. This is like saying, "I have a real phone and a toy phone" 262 | ==================== 263 | it's always been my dream to be on the cover of one of the most beautiful women in the world and this is my dream come true! 264 | ==================== 265 | I was just about to ask what the deal is with the airport so I asked the bartens if they are bartenders. He said "no, they are waitresses" and I said "wait what?" and he said "they are waitresses" 266 | ==================== 267 | IS IT GOOD 268 | ==================== 269 | so here is my top 5 list. #1. Red Lobster in Shanghai. #2. The Rose at Rockefeller Center. 270 | ==================== 271 | wowowowowowow i love it 272 | ==================== 273 | MORE LIKE MURDER. RT more like murder. 274 | ==================== 275 | lol 276 | ==================== 277 | I'm gonna go ahead and just tell you that the only reason I am not famous is because I am bored. 278 | ==================== 279 | I’m so sorry :( 280 | ==================== 281 | I, too, am a vegetarian. My mother is a non-vegan. Why do people do this to me? I am a non-animal, what does that prove? 282 | ==================== 283 | trying to get my instagrammed photo back so people can see my gorgeous boobies. i know they're no longer in the photo, but u still got em!! 284 | ==================== 285 | well I'm going to try and answer that tonight on #LipSyncBattle!! 286 | ==================== 287 | lol i really do love this! i am...lazy 288 | ==================== 289 | Lol 290 | ==================== 291 | I'm gonna use my other phone. I think I have a new phone. 292 | ==================== 293 | good call putting the dog in the freezer though. the freezer is a great way to preserve meat/slice it and save freezer space 294 | ==================== 295 | What is a "yes" vote? I don't care about your politics, what is important is that you voted for me. Today is one of those days. 296 | ==================== 297 | I love it 298 | ==================== 299 | I love you. I love you. I will miss you. I will love you. I will hate you. I'll do anything to please you. I should be a part of your life. Please, read and support me. 300 | ==================== 301 | I read your post and I'm pretty convinced you don't know me at all and I'm pretty convinced you hate me. 302 | ==================== 303 | Crap. Just awful. 304 | ==================== 305 | Saw this at Macy's! 306 | ==================== 307 | speaking of which...I just did the best stupid sex I've ever had. I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like that. 308 | ==================== 309 | NO JOB! 310 | ==================== 311 | I never would have thought that would rise to the top, but oh lord... 312 | ==================== 313 | My favorite part of the election stump speech is the word "willing." I really love it. 314 | ==================== 315 | those are some of my favorite things in the world. how else will you stay in the dark, miss? 316 | ==================== 317 | I don't know how to do a full moon conga dish but I can do a moon conga dish. 318 | ==================== 319 | I was just thinking about you. I know you are such a good girl. I hope all the things you do are for the best. ❤️ 320 | ==================== 321 | I love you too, dear! I only wish I could dance. Get over yourselves, idiots. 322 | ==================== 323 | I am literally a stan. I don't want to do this. 324 | ==================== 325 | honestly though, I don't care. It's a great story. I wish it were true. 326 | ==================== 327 | jesus. i love you too, i really do. hahaaha 328 | ==================== 329 | requested 330 | ==================== 331 | sorry, but I cannot do the scream of a lion scream. I would get mad and smash everything in my path. I would be like the scream of a lion. 332 | ==================== 333 | LOL 334 | ==================== 335 | I love this, I love you guys! 336 | ==================== 337 | I didn't think I was so cool 338 | ==================== 339 | i just ordered a burrito from taco ceviche they are out of burritos so you gotta try it 340 | ==================== 341 | we can't stop making this movie. This is not okay. I stand by the movie. 342 | ==================== 343 | I've come to accept that many of you don't understand the meaning of the word "tigger". 344 | ==================== 345 | I am gonna try to make that restaurant reference work but I... 346 | ==================== 347 | I hahahahah I have no idea what I am thinking of. I am not a very good director 348 | ==================== 349 | ah I see where one would think that but they're wrong. it's my mom's how I think :) 350 | ==================== 351 | just my 2 cents, I guess. 352 | ==================== 353 | I've been blockading them since their comments. I'm not a good dancer. I don't know how to have a conversation. I just blockaded them and I'm sad. 354 | ==================== 355 | There is no erin, only tessa. RT what's your gig and why do we care? 356 | ==================== 357 | AHHHH 358 | ==================== 359 | YES. HURRY. IT'S HERE. 360 | ==================== 361 | I like your tag. I believe you are the best. I am sad if you are not the best. Thank you. 362 | ==================== 363 | I don't have the energy today 364 | ==================== 365 | I'm gonna go ahead and tell you I am the one that put the lomax on your face 366 | ==================== 367 | I don't understand the latest instagram post about how people are so mad about something. I am so confused. 368 | ==================== 369 | I know. I'm sad. 370 | ==================== 371 | I'm sorry I'm newt. I am very used to them. They are so...dumb. 372 | ==================== 373 | What is it about? RT just had the best korean bbq ever. it was awesome, thank you! 374 | ==================== 375 | I will. I am not a dog person 376 | ==================== 377 | I will never say the words "who cares about your opinion?" in this day. Just know I will. 378 | ==================== 379 | lol 380 | ==================== 381 | Oh my god. 382 | ==================== 383 | I love when people make up accounts just to bash people. I can't defend it. But u can learn from it. (This is an old account) 384 | ==================== 385 | ok I will stop pretending I'm old school gamer and enjoy our love 386 | ==================== 387 | I was just talking about you, dipshit. 388 | ==================== 389 | The good, the bad, the ugly and the ugly 390 | ==================== 391 | it's a new year, new me. I have to start over. I just want you to be there for the biggest, most exciting events of the year. Is that too much? I am a little overwhelmed myself. 392 | ==================== 393 | Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa 394 | ==================== 395 | lol 396 | ==================== 397 | I have a lot to do today. Just a lot of things. But I do need you guys to know that I have one foot in the yard and one in a nuthouse! 398 | ==================== 399 | Thank you!! 400 | ==================== 401 | yes I am unsure if I have ever been to a vape store (I am obsessed with them) just filled with excitement and curiosity I want to try! 402 | ==================== 403 | First day of school! So happy! Finally doing some of my favorite things in life - reading a book today! 404 | ==================== 405 | It's hard work being a mom 406 | ==================== 407 | I am a big fan of any and all dumbass shit. 408 | ==================== 409 | lol 410 | ==================== 411 | lol 412 | ==================== 413 | i am such a fucking idiot i bought this dog in a week. I’m so sad. i don’t know where this dog went but I’m sad. 414 | ==================== 415 | I'll take it 416 | ==================== 417 | lol! 418 | ==================== 419 | I just learned how to use a toothbrush. How do I make a "no" sound? What is the point of a toothbrush? WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE TO USE A BATTERY NO BATTERY?? 420 | ==================== 421 | Omg 422 | ==================== 423 | I am watching llike jedi for the first time ever. Aaah so cute. 424 | ==================== 425 | I promise I will spend the next 20 minutes watching you because I am that annoying and shallow and you look like a fucking psychopath 426 | ==================== 427 | The only thing worse than a good, solid, handmade snickerdoodle is a bad, plastic one. Fuck. 428 | ==================== 429 | i get so mad when my follower count reaches 20. i get sad and angry. i don't understand why. 430 | ==================== 431 | I will have the pork chop soup 432 | ==================== 433 | i love you 434 | ==================== 435 | blocked him on Twitter. I will pay you for that in one hour. 436 | ==================== 437 | so you can get up to pee, but then when you're in the bathroom you have to pee for 20 mins or so because you can't pee when you're busy? i get it. i am bored. i am bored. 438 | ==================== 439 | aw cool. thank you! 440 | ==================== 441 | I love when people do this shit as the morning after the event. So thankful for an awesome event. Happy Friday! 442 | ==================== 443 | that is a very big world and I have a ton of animals and it's very hard to keep up with! 444 | ==================== 445 | vegan teigen. she is a raging bon fire. 446 | ==================== 447 | it was my first time ever reading a personal defense article and for some reason I am not gonna lie about it. I am a defender and I am gonna defend myself until I die 448 | ==================== 449 | because you don't know me and don't care about me. 450 | ==================== 451 | i am a huge fan of the way this website treats the comments. it really helps me process what I'm posting. 452 | ==================== 453 | this is how I am going to look when I get a bit older. I am 30 now and will certainly look like a bit older when I get a bit older. 454 | ==================== 455 | hahahahhahahahahahahah 456 | ==================== 457 | I've been up at 4am all week, so it's no wonder I'm exhausted. #fearlessbikes #cravingscookbook.com 458 | ==================== 459 | I want to read it but I can't. I hate reading things. I mean I can skim through paragraphs but I can't. I want to hug your ass 460 | ==================== 461 | lol I'm the worst 462 | ==================== 463 | wait. that is a scorpion then a dragon. and a scorpion is a snake so a dragon is also a snake. and a scorpion is a scorpion? i don't understand. i don't understand. 464 | ==================== 465 | I am not going to get into any of the details of the case but apparently she was wearing heels. I don't wear heels. 466 | ==================== 467 | hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah 468 | ==================== 469 | that is so kind. Thank you. We would love to be an ice cream sub! 470 | ==================== 471 | Cannot get me out of my head. It is my life. I do not understand what it is. I am very confused. 472 | ==================== 473 | It is hard to be a vegetarian when you are hungry. I try and be balanced but it's not quite good enough. 474 | ==================== 475 | I see it on my timeline so I just go with it. Good call! 476 | ==================== 477 | lol 478 | ==================== 479 | I am gonna go ahead and go ahead and tell you guys I am a really nice person. I can take one of those "I am a nice person" T-shirts. 480 | ==================== 481 | it's okay. I will be at the best restaurant in the universe (TIME Magazine) and I will tell you who won't tell me (YOU) 482 | ==================== 483 | oh my god. i hope they change the cookie? or do i still eat the savory cookies? 484 | ==================== 485 | I am going to make the most overpriced lasagna ever and use every last batch of spicy mayo. 486 | ==================== 487 | I don't have a phone lol 488 | ==================== 489 | I just said "holy crap. I'm not a dog" and now I am being a dog. 490 | ==================== 491 | I'm honestly not very good at it 492 | ==================== 493 | lol :) 494 | ==================== 495 | I said I loved you 496 | ==================== 497 | I don't know how to do a private facebook page. I don't want my friends to see what I have to deal with on facebook. I'm not that person. 498 | ==================== 499 | I got so many lovely gifts 500 | ==================== 501 | I am on my way to Wilmington, Delaware for the launch of my brand new line of #SmartThings smart devices! Can't wait to watch the launch! #smartthingselectronics #bringthemhome #ad 502 | ==================== 503 | hahahahaha 504 | ==================== 505 | I never know what to expect when I walk into a store. "do you mind if I touch your boobs" is something I don't know how to say. 506 | ==================== 507 | lol 508 | ==================== 509 | I have to know. You're such a naughty child, 510 | ==================== 511 | I'm sorry, I just realized my blurry, misspelled photo and I can't do photoshop 512 | ==================== 513 | hahahahaha 514 | ==================== 515 | that is not the upside down triangle thing. i am a square. 516 | ==================== 517 | lol so cute 518 | ==================== 519 | just saw a tweet from the old "stop." campaign. I stopped. Not because i don't want to, but because you guys make me uncomfortable. Right? Like I'm not even being a complete moron. 520 | ==================== 521 | whoa. that is very specific. i see a lot of people putting wild rice in their bbq. i must be missing something. 522 | ==================== 523 | my love, you are right. i am not the only one who finds this disgusting. I am disgusted. 524 | ==================== 525 | How about they JUST do the shirt and not the jacket? Or do you just always wear the jacket? 526 | ==================== 527 | I'm sad I don't know you! 528 | ==================== 529 | The top secret men of tomorrow: the men who will one day wear a silk robe 530 | ==================== 531 | The fact that she is so sweet makes me so happy. 532 | ==================== 533 | Hey guys. We got some bad news. The bag is not coming. I am overjoyed. I was wrong. I ordered it. And now it is gone. I was wrong. Thank you for your understanding. 534 | ==================== 535 | i am in the air now. i am quite mobile now. tomorrow i will fly out to you and you will stay with me til i land. i will then bring you some tea and a sandwich or dinner. tomorrow i will fly you out. i am a good girl. 536 | 537 | ==================== 538 | I am so sad I don't have this app. I need it so badly. I have no life 539 | ==================== 540 | no it's earl gray 541 | ==================== 542 | i wanted to watch real housewives of Atlanta but the online promos made it seem too easy. too easy!!! 543 | ==================== 544 | I still do not get the concept of a "sink" that can hold water. I thought we were just talking about drinks, I'm used to hearing it from you. 545 | ==================== 546 | oh my god. "ugh" was the worst word ever to come out of a child. I blame myself. 547 | ==================== 548 | I'm seeing a lot of this on twitter and I never knew this was a thing. I hate you. 549 | ==================== 550 | dead 551 | ==================== 552 | Oh my god. The Masters will be here as well. I am so excited. 553 | ==================== 554 | That was a joke. I know. I am sarcastic and sarcastic in the best of times. I am sarcastic in the worst of times. I am sarcastic in the funny days 555 | ==================== 556 | i can't do soup jokes. i am so nervous that my brain is about to explode. i am so nervous. i don't know how to do soup jokes. i am not funny. i am a very nervous child. 557 | ==================== 558 | I never realize how ironic it is that my last tweet was about being a mom. I am not the only one. 559 | ==================== 560 | Am I just going through my photos and am I just looking for a face to use in my ad? 561 | ==================== 562 | crab legs with crispy skin oh baby i love crab legs 563 | ==================== 564 | Are you just a big fan of the food? I will buy your plane ticket. I am an airline tycoon. 565 | ==================== 566 | I just watched "The People v. OJ Simpson: American Crime Story" and I don't feel at all that I have changed. I still think about Nicole and the bag but I don't care about the man anymore. It's the people. 567 | ==================== 568 | What do you think we should wear to this?? 569 | ==================== 570 | I'm a bit pre-cooked myself. Love it! 571 | ==================== 572 | lmao 573 | ==================== 574 | how do you get Instagram? it's like you're separate people. 575 | ==================== 576 | What is the point of a watch face if you don't have a phone? I am a watch face aficionado. Why do I have to be the watch face to a phone? 577 | ==================== 578 | I'm not kidding. I also know a few people who have 3D printed out their profiles and are just as happy. But I can't. I’ve seen too many. I’m sorry! 579 | ==================== 580 | not her. 581 | ==================== 582 | I don't like it when people pretend I didn't say hi <3 <3 <3 583 | ==================== 584 | the millions of people who don't know it's a blue pill joke and the blue pill is just a bunch of pills 585 | ==================== 586 | Thank you! 587 | ==================== 588 | I love you. 589 | ==================== 590 | everyone says "that's a lot" but u are only allowed to eat half and it's a lot. So much for "being a joy". 591 | ==================== 592 | cannot decide if this is what it is or if it is so soft it hurts 593 | ==================== 594 | I just had this same thought and I feel like it isn't that special. I think it is just my own brain. 595 | ==================== 596 | lol 597 | ==================== 598 | I know it's a private club but can I get a photo of it please 599 | ==================== 600 | I'm not at jfk but if someone were to ask me what I think about a certain movie I would say "well i dunno about that" and go on for a bit. 601 | ==================== 602 | Sorry . I will be on the show in the next few hours. Who do I call and what! 603 | ==================== 604 | I'm sick. I love you. 605 | ==================== 606 | When you are on your period, it's hard to tell if your body has "therapy" going on or if you are just going through a period of intense physicality. I choose the latter 607 | ==================== 608 | I can't resign. Can't resign. 609 | ==================== 610 | love u guys 611 | ==================== 612 | this is how i like it. i'm the only one who knows how to do that. i am the daughter of a zoo animal and have been learning since i was a wee tiny 613 | ==================== 614 | I know! I was just wondering how long it takes you to make a block. haha 615 | ==================== 616 | Can I have your address please 617 | ==================== 618 | hahahaha I have only heard of it from you. 619 | ==================== 620 | I do. I love you. I don't know how I did it on my computer. I'm a tech. I love you. 621 | ==================== 622 | who are you talking about 623 | ==================== 624 | Someone is helping me with my bridal shower bio. I wouldn't want anybody to know that I'm such a weirdo 625 | ==================== 626 | I am not a racist. I am ignorant. I am a purist. RT Don't lie, you're a racist 627 | ==================== 628 | hahahahhaha 629 | ==================== 630 | AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 631 | ==================== 632 | Thanks : You guys are the best!! 633 | ==================== 634 | I have to say, it is pretty good. Actually pretty good. 635 | ==================== 636 | oh nooo that is not a joke. i am serious. it means nothing. haha. 637 | ==================== 638 | I'm ok with the world ending if Dr. J says it's the end of the world. 639 | ==================== 640 | I was just talking about how much I hate the phone. I hate the phone. I hate the phone. 641 | ==================== 642 | i just whipped myself into a rage today when i saw this tweet but then realized i was on and couldn't see it. 643 | ==================== 644 | the only thing more disturbing than an xanax is an xanaxing. #cravingscookbook.com 645 | ==================== 646 | what's so funny about that thing that peoplepost about being a florist then get mad when it's not their cake. I get it now. 647 | ==================== 648 | i am very pro-life. i just don't think i can be a pro-life candidate. this makes me sad. 649 | ==================== 650 | By the time I finish this, they will have made millions of dollars off of my death. I am truly mad at them. 651 | ==================== 652 | I'm not a damn fashion show. I don't even care that you're doing an interview for the day. I'm still very confused. 653 | ==================== 654 | I dunno what that means but I am very close to 1500 followers and lovelovelove you guys. I would be very happy. 655 | ==================== 656 | I just realized that in the process of watching "I'm the guy with the dog" I've actually become the dude with the dog. I hate myself. 657 | ==================== 658 | @: you had to be online all night. You could not have done it with a face mask on. I'm not kidding. 659 | ==================== 660 | I know. 661 | ==================== 662 | just realized I never tweeted from my phone and I am so sad. so sad. so sad. 663 | ==================== 664 | no. they are still on the menu. so it's not a complete loss. 665 | ==================== 666 | thank you!! it was fun! 667 | ==================== 668 | lol 669 | ==================== 670 | I am there! 671 | ==================== 672 | I fucking hate you. 673 | ==================== 674 | That isn't a typo. She is my best friend and the worst thing on earth. I am not mad at you, I am furious. I am angry at the world. 675 | ==================== 676 | lol 677 | ==================== 678 | I TOLD U I WAS GETTING TICKLE MASTERS 679 | ==================== 680 | That is a big, complex post and I apologize if anyone is reading this 681 | ==================== 682 | can u get a photo for me of that? i need this more than ever. 683 | ==================== 684 | I am so sad I have to walk this entire way. I love you, I love you. 685 | ==================== 686 | I'll take it 687 | ==================== 688 | lol 689 | ==================== 690 | I know it's not real. I'm not a supermodel. But I love you, baby. 691 | ==================== 692 | wow i am so sorry you have been affected by this. I am the best, most compassionate person ever. 693 | ==================== 694 | that is a very specific of what a banana is, a fancy fruit 695 | ==================== 696 | hahahahhaha 697 | ==================== 698 | I am not joking. Listen up. I know you are great and all but we gotta work on ourselves. We are a team. 699 | ==================== 700 | I have taken this as an "it's hot" hug and it is indeed. I wish I could retch. Xx 701 | ==================== 702 | you do have a point. I am the same person you are so angry at. 703 | ==================== 704 | oh my god. @BTS looks awesome. 705 | ==================== 706 | i am so confused but i thought they were singing! i'm confused too! though, if you are the singer i'm confused too, I'm sorry! 707 | ==================== 708 | I know right? I was trying to be funny but I will stick to my guns. RT I have a blog post planned so you can all get excited 709 | ==================== 710 | uh oh. I mean. I am away at school today. I am away. I am away. I'm sorry for ruining your life. You are a crapsalot. I am a dream. I will be back soon. RT You are a dream...how long have you been missing? 711 | ==================== 712 | I am just fine with the way I am treated. 713 | ==================== 714 | Saw last night and I was like yayyyy yayyyy yayyyyyy fuck 715 | ==================== 716 | I miss the good ol days. I miss you. 717 | ==================== 718 | I just ate an entire bag of these. I have no idea how I got so close to 20! I am a jaded eater. I need therapy. 719 | ==================== 720 | I like seeing you guys. I really do. I wish there was more room! 721 | ==================== 722 | I never said "white people only" or "black people only" or "Asian people only" or anything. I am an Asian boy. Do Asians have to be the same? Why must we be different? I am just a "person of color" and I am not on the show. 723 | ==================== 724 | lol 725 | ==================== 726 | hahahaahha 727 | ==================== 728 | lol i loved it 729 | ==================== 730 | Oh my god. That is the story of my life now. RT How do you deal with trolls? 731 | ==================== 732 | lol 733 | ==================== 734 | Pod Save America is a ride or die kind of week. I love it and I don't know why I can't just say "I'm a podcaster" 735 | ==================== 736 | oh my god. I can't believe it. It's my thing. 737 | ==================== 738 | Yeah. It's a very upsetting tweet indeed. 739 | ==================== 740 | I'm not joking. 741 | ==================== 742 | I don't know how to do that. 743 | ==================== 744 | What if we do that and everyone does that? 745 | ==================== 746 | how did you decide what you wanted to see? 747 | ==================== 748 | Hearing that all the kids really like "bad girls club" makes me happy. Girls club to me is more of a gyno 749 | ==================== 750 | I can't defend myself. I am not a lawyer. ^^^^ 751 | ==================== 752 | welp 753 | ==================== 754 | I am so mad at you I am going to put you in a headlock and drag you to my apartment 755 | ==================== 756 | Don't forget my bday tomorrow! 757 | ==================== 758 | Yes. 759 | ==================== 760 | I would like to be a part of the celebration but I am too nervous/excited for that part of the night :( 761 | ==================== 762 | I had the best pizza in the world on a Monday night and I am still upset doesn't get it. I had a great pizza and I am still mad at you 763 | ==================== 764 | I think I love you. I really do. 765 | ==================== 766 | #i might not be as sexy naked as i am in this 767 | ==================== 768 | I just laughed for 15 seconds out of shock. It was a joke. I am moron. 769 | ==================== 770 | oh you are so right. we are not talking about the best day of my life. we are talking about the worst. 771 | ==================== 772 | Welp I lost my phone and the memory card. It was a great idea. I'll post the video! 773 | ==================== 774 | I don't like getting updates from my nintendo 360 because I get so excited when they come. I need it to be more timely 775 | ==================== 776 | hahahhahahahaha 777 | ==================== 778 | you have to be a fucking genius 779 | ==================== 780 | How do we know that is not a typo? I mean it's spelled correctly, it's not a typo. It's terrible. 781 | ==================== 782 | NO 783 | ==================== 784 | hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 785 | ==================== 786 | YEAH 787 | ==================== 788 | Can't wait to say hi! 789 | ==================== 790 | I AM NOT! 791 | ==================== 792 | what i find so annoying is that people are demanding answers to everyday questions. i am annoyed. maybe it's because i am annoyed. i am annoyed. 793 | ==================== 794 | lol 795 | ==================== 796 | awwwwww. thank you!! 797 | ==================== 798 | I am pretty nit-picking here but "gottabef" is such a horrible word I don't even know what to do 799 | ==================== 800 | I just had the best nyc ramen ever. SAD NAKED NAKED NAKED 801 | ==================== 802 | My sister and her dog. It's the most boring shit 803 | ==================== 804 | I really do not understand how to tweet from a personal account, you have such a narrow brain. 805 | ==================== 806 | I know it's not a real or easy thing, but the thought of just eating it makes me gag. Especially the rind. 807 | ==================== 808 | well i am going to the airport and i smell a stinky mess and i am not kidding either 809 | ==================== 810 | I am at a show now! Will be here all weekend! 811 | ==================== 812 | I like your animal ones 813 | ==================== 814 | this is why I never eat out of the fridge. I do not want to be bothered with the freakin thing anymore. 815 | ==================== 816 | thanks guys, you made me smile today 😩 817 | ==================== 818 | when is football again!!!!!!!!!! 819 | ==================== 820 | I'd like to cry but no. Because it is the least sexy thing on earth. There is never a good time to cry. 821 | ==================== 822 | They were so cool on TV. RT : James Franco as Prince Harry, Dennis Rodman as President, and more! 823 | ==================== 824 | I'm just selling this and I apologize for selling you, sadface 825 | ==================== 826 | that is a very big request for a small bathroom, I am sorry 827 | ==================== 828 | Uhhhh my hommmmme is!! 829 | ==================== 830 | LOL 831 | ==================== 832 | my dough is burning right now. i do not understand what is wrong with it but i am feeling very ill and am not willing to take any chances 833 | ==================== 834 | At least I'm not in jail. I paid a lot for this, dammit! 835 | ==================== 836 | lol! 837 | ==================== 838 | I think the only reason it's so dark is because I am getting ready for my big day! 839 | ==================== 840 | I have a for you 841 | ==================== 842 | I got really crazy drunk and am fairly certain I am incapable of not laughing. I move outta my spot and you are forced to block me and follow. 843 | ==================== 844 | I am going through all my photos and comments and am sorry if anybody was offended. I am just sad I didn't think of you beforehand! 845 | ==================== 846 | I don't know how to do this 847 | ==================== 848 | I can't get away with saying I hate her. I hate her. She is terrible. Idiot. 849 | ==================== 850 | SO SAD 851 | ==================== 852 | for those asking for full recipes, I will be making a few items for the event. all vegan, some with bacon. stay tuned! 853 | ==================== 854 | I just watched "this is America" and I'm not high. I'm gonna go to jail 855 | ==================== 856 | I get it now. I had no idea. I wish you were so lucky! 857 | ==================== 858 | not a bad day, really. Only after several days of extreme heat. 859 | ==================== 860 | I have no idea what I'm missing here but I am a super fan of "missing in action" movies. I am one of those people. 861 | ==================== 862 | lol sorry 863 | ==================== 864 | lol 865 | ==================== 866 | I disagree with this tweet. I disagree with the person. 867 | ==================== 868 | lol 869 | ==================== 870 | no. i'm not a doctor. i am a great cook and a terrible baker. 871 | ==================== 872 | My mom probably just said "I am too busy" like she is the best mom ever. I am a bit of a talker, too 873 | ==================== 874 | I thought you sent me that from your blog. Where have you been, miss?? 875 | ==================== 876 | i am not the only one! 877 | ==================== 878 | I just had the best hamachi in the world. It is now the happiest day of my life. 879 | ==================== 880 | #LipSyncBattle tonight! 10/9c on 881 | ==================== 882 | I'm sure you get my wishes and you just say you're too exhausted to change your mind. 883 | ==================== 884 | I'm watching on Hulu and I’m gonna kill myself for not checking my notifications. I’m so sad!!! 885 | ==================== 886 | Fuck. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. 887 | ==================== 888 | I think I'm gonna go for broke and get a iphone. Not for work, for fun. I want a iphone for my kids. I'll be a broken down, suic-faced wreck on the plane. I want my phone to be a symbol of power. not sadness. 889 | ==================== 890 | Oh man. It's. Not. My favorite tweet ever. RT you are so lazy you can't even tweet the address 891 | ==================== 892 | lol you are so weak 893 | ==================== 894 | I just didn't understand what you were saying. I'm a gf and I don't have to be a 4th of July flamer. I get it. 895 | ==================== 896 | #TBT 897 | ==================== 898 | i hate when people say things like "how is that so hard, too easy?" and i get jealous. that's the hardest part of anything. i never want it so badly. 899 | ==================== 900 | thank you!! 901 | ==================== 902 | I'm gonna get fancypants painting you 903 | ==================== 904 | I hope so. I’ve never been one for math. ❤️ 905 | ==================== 906 | I am so sorry. I am really good at reading people. But I am not good at saying sorry. 907 | ==================== 908 | I don't know if I can. I am a very spoiled brat. I am spoiled. I am spoiled. 909 | ==================== 910 | I am on a legal high from no money in my bank account 911 | ==================== 912 | thank you!! 913 | ==================== 914 | you really think I'm going to shit on john if I see him RT #PrayForPancetta #TBT #enjoyment #ad 915 | ==================== 916 | wah i just looked at "yes" and now i hate you 917 | ==================== 918 | I agree. I get so mad when I don't get my birthday. I will put it off until my birthday though. I am a child. 919 | ==================== 920 | I get it you are a hot mess you are a mess 921 | ==================== 922 | station wolff 923 | ==================== 924 | Now I am watching a movie I didn't pay for and my brain is dead. I feel like I'm on a website with ads and nothing to watch. 925 | ==================== 926 | I am not a superstitious person. I believe there is a god. 927 | ==================== 928 | more like...o sa, more like...o sa! 929 | ==================== 930 | the only problem is I don't have a hoverboard 931 | ==================== 932 | no I digiorno! 933 | ==================== 934 | i am gonna start looking for a new job 935 | ==================== 936 | peanut butter is my saviour 937 | ==================== 938 | I just had a "no sex" sign that I then had to break because it was in the mail. #snoopy 939 | ==================== 940 | it's the new take. I was just gonna use my right hand man. OH GOD. 941 | ==================== 942 | I saw you! 943 | ==================== 944 | VIGILANTE IS BACK!! (thank you, !) 945 | ==================== 946 | I am not a doctor. I can't tell you which flight I took and who I talked to. I can't tell you where I went and who I talked to. I wish I could look up the flight I took and share it with you. 947 | ==================== 948 | i used to be so nice and sweet. i lost my cool sometimes. still an attractive idea. i think i'll try it. 949 | ==================== 950 | one of our favorite things in the world is when people seriously think they are witty 951 | ==================== 952 | Hella! 953 | ==================== 954 | the only thing I do with the butter is rub it all out with butter then sprinkle it on top of the cake 955 | ==================== 956 | this is all very insightful. But i really do think the bobodol has a much lower concentration of people that actually take it. it's incredible. haha 957 | ==================== 958 | Yeah. Fuck. That. That was an ass. Thank you, , 959 | ==================== 960 | this is how i like to think of my followers. i am so in awe. you know. i am...so. bored. 961 | ==================== 962 | Oh my god. I can't wait to see you guys! I'm on now but will let you know as soon as I get home. xoxoxoxo 963 | ==================== 964 | I have so many I need to edit my bio 965 | ==================== 966 | Whoa. I am watching a show about a woman who bought a home in a ramshackle part of town and now her husband is no longer there? 967 | ==================== 968 | I can't talk about my day without mentioning that my mother died yesterday. Today is not the day. 969 | ==================== 970 | I am one of those people who will NOT eat at a restaurant that serves pizza in the wicker mannequin part of my man cave. I am a pizza crafter. This must be good! 971 | ==================== 972 | you guys are very weird for liking this 973 | ==================== 974 | I cannot even predict how the world will end. I hate myself for caring so much. 975 | ==================== 976 | my eyes just filled with tears RT I love the sound you guys make me laugh 977 | ==================== 978 | Lol you are.. 979 | ==================== 980 | lol 981 | ==================== 982 | omg i am so impatient i am gonna rip your face off 983 | ==================== 984 | I really think we should have been friends. I am not kidding. He was sweet/nice to me 985 | ==================== 986 | I'll post the recipe but do you have the site's recipe cardstock? 987 | ==================== 988 | just I had that in my head for a while and it just got real. hahaha! 989 | ==================== 990 | lol 991 | ==================== 992 | This is a true life conundrum. I get it. You are the genius. But I really need to learn how to make the marinade. Can you teach me? 993 | ==================== 994 | I have, indeed. I don't understand anything you're saying but thank you for making me laugh every time. 995 | ==================== 996 | Meanwhile, in the land of tivo, people are still mad at the channels for not giving them the channels they need. I am truly mad at the networks for not being able to give me the channels I want. This is my life now. 997 | ==================== 998 | your right hand is mine I guess 999 | ==================== 1000 | i need to see a number in the next 24 hours. so many people saying that same thing. so sad. 1001 | ==================== 1002 | i am so, so sorry to disappoint you, I am about to... 1003 | ==================== 1004 | what is your favorite place to eat in Seattle? I know I have my favorites. 1005 | ==================== 1006 | lol 1007 | ==================== 1008 | Fruit tray 1009 | ==================== 1010 | got a little house in the new me. we talk about the weather, our love of mac and cheese and my love of the show. 1011 | ==================== 1012 | I had a date at the brooklyn airport. I am a walkin walkin walker 1013 | ==================== 1014 | I have no idea what I'm doing in that photo. 1015 | ==================== 1016 | LOL and you're a pedo? 1017 | ==================== 1018 | I gave him my phone number and he called me to tell me it was for him. WHEN DID THEY DEDICATE IT TO THE WORLD? 1019 | ==================== 1020 | I like to pretend I am a lawyer and read court documents, then go on dates with and talk about my cases with like a court reporter. !!! 1021 | ==================== 1022 | I have a whole new twitter now. twitter time! 1023 | ==================== 1024 | I want to see you! 1025 | ==================== 1026 | I just made john watch "morning Joe" on the plane and it was the best thing he does all day! Do you want to marry me 1027 | ==================== 1028 | I'm not really a big fan of "in a bottle" because it is a euphemism for smoking weed out of a bottle. I just started and am learning. YES. BOTTLE GUM 1029 | ==================== 1030 | honestly how do people act like they know you? you are a stranger. 1031 | ==================== 1032 | this is all very good. I just wish I could have said hi :) 1033 | ==================== 1034 | just found myself wishing I had a twitter page. it makes me happy. 1035 | ==================== 1036 | god i really have a lot of questions and this is all making me really sad. 1037 | ==================== 1038 | I am so sorry. I know that's not a good sound. I know that's not a good sound. I'm sorry. I have a very bad ear. I knew too. I was sorry. 1039 | ==================== 1040 | I get it. I'm thinking. I'm a horrible person. Excuse me, I am a terrible person. 1041 | ==================== 1042 | I am. OMG 1043 | ==================== 1044 | I am also a big fan of the 4:3 aspect ratio. It lends itself more easily to my liking. I love it. I love it. It's wonderful. 1045 | ==================== 1046 | I am the only one who thinks it's cute. It's really cute. I like it. I don't like seeing it get sad. I like it. I like it. : i love u guys. 1047 | ==================== 1048 | I know because I am one of the people who posts about them. 1049 | ==================== 1050 | I am watching on HBO and for some reason I have to mute the channel 1051 | ==================== 1052 | LISTEN TO THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY'S QUESTIONS TODAY..ONCE IN THE LAST 15 MINS. I MUST KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING. I'LL SPOIL YOU. THIS IS MY JOKE. 1053 | ==================== 1054 | wait did my dog do that? 1055 | ==================== 1056 | so I don't know how they do it, but the ice cream is thicker. not to be grossed out but thicker ice cream is gross. i've been doing it for 20 mins at a time. just gross. i keep it at a smaller scale. i guess. i am a general ice cream lover but a giant one. i love thick ice cream. and I'm talking maybe 2 ice cream sandwiches. i don't know how anyone does it so well. it's amazing. 1057 | ==================== 1058 | Some people are just really bad, and I am one of those people. 1059 | ==================== 1060 | I thought we were friends. 1061 | ==================== 1062 | ❤️❤️❤️ 1063 | ==================== 1064 | I can't do that. 1065 | ==================== 1066 | I have a daughter and I'm tired of being the one to say to the driver, "I need to know if he is ok". I need to know if he is ok. 1067 | ==================== 1068 | lol 1069 | ==================== 1070 | oh my god. I was so happy 1071 | ==================== 1072 | ahem. i have. no. followers. i am. just. a dude?? i think. i am. you? haha. 1073 | ==================== 1074 | honestly why do people care so much about unregistered scooters? it's a shame they're so easy to mistake for legit taxis. 1075 | ==================== 1076 | Great morning! 1077 | ==================== 1078 | I don't think you understand the importance of a job like this. You are a child. You should not be working. I am someone who has a job, you are a child. YOU SHOULD NOT WORK. 1079 | ==================== 1080 | Oh my god. Passengers on the plane are shit. I have an open window and am about to watch the game but I can't turn it off. I'm a part of the team. 1081 | ==================== 1082 | I am so confused as to why I just did that 1083 | ==================== 1084 | ❤️! 1085 | ==================== 1086 | what the fuck is wrong with you?! 1087 | ==================== 1088 | I like this. People with bad reputations for being mean sometimes just go for the jugular. 1089 | ==================== 1090 | I don't know how to do anything in the normal world that isn't explicated. I am a better person than this. 1091 | ==================== 1092 | lol 1093 | ==================== 1094 | what are you talking about? 1095 | ==================== 1096 | Thank you, ! My smile was the most beautiful thing ever. I am truly so thankful for it. 1097 | ==================== 1098 | We are working on this now! 1099 | ==================== 1100 | PEACH KETO CREAM NOTES 1101 | ==================== 1102 | Stop. I don't care how good this is or how bad I am at it. You're shooting yourself in the foot. You should just not be in the same room as others who don't care. Oh you care, I care. You didn't care. 1103 | ==================== 1104 | what are you thinking about? 1105 | ==================== 1106 | hahahaah 1107 | ==================== 1108 | lol I know 1109 | ==================== 1110 | yeah. I will definitely be watching! 1111 | ==================== 1112 | YOU'RE SO HORRIBLE 1113 | ==================== 1114 | I don't know how to do fast food correctly when it's a burrito? I mean it's a burrito but it's a burrito and we're still talking about how to make it properly? I'm intrigued 1115 | ==================== 1116 | just met . he is the best. 1117 | ==================== 1118 | I love that you guys think I'm going to act like I'm a model. I work. I pay taxes. That's what we do. I pay taxes. 1119 | ==================== 1120 | Holy shit. That was not an 8 minute long video 1121 | ==================== 1122 | I have a lot of respect for the millions of people who watched the trial and I am very sorry if you were not allowed to see it. I am truly sorry if you were not allowed to see it. I know what you are going through and I am a parent myself. I understand it. I am so sorry if this makes you sad. 1123 | ==================== 1124 | i hate when people pretend they are soooo cool and act like they are soooo classy 1125 | ==================== 1126 | I just realized I missed you and now I have to go to your show and you will never be in my life 1127 | ==================== 1128 | I need a man's best friend. Like, really best friend. 1129 | ==================== 1130 | The most important thing in my life right now is Mr right. I don't know what else I could do without. 1131 | ==================== 1132 | <|startoftext|>my phone died after it stopped working. no money. no phones. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. no money. 1133 | ==================== 1134 | your dog is bored. why don't you just pretend that it's bored too? 1135 | ==================== 1136 | I am not kidding. It's in all of us. 1137 | ==================== 1138 | not really. My cat liked the smell of the catfish. I did not say cats. I have 2 cats and 1 catfish 1139 | ==================== 1140 | i know you want to go to war but it's ok. you don't have to. i am not in a war. 1141 | ==================== 1142 | I love you too, baby. 1143 | ==================== 1144 | I definitely don't appreciate the fact you think it's funny to laugh at my first tweet about your racist, sexist ass. 1145 | ==================== 1146 | basically google it to get to the bottom of it. That's my problem. 1147 | ==================== 1148 | The only thing standing between me and my dreams of world domination are a tiny piece of white bread. 1149 | ==================== 1150 | I was just going to tell you guys that I tweeted that. I wanted to be like "hey, you are all twitter followers with people! you know how twitter is, right? good luck!" but then I realized how dumb you all are. 1151 | ==================== 1152 | I sure hope so! 1153 | ==================== 1154 | I have a yankee dog. I will get you a plate of yankee food if you're interested. I'm very curious, you know? 1155 | ==================== 1156 | I am going to find the best recipe for it and sell it but please feel free to cut and paste it for me! 1157 | ==================== 1158 | I'm watching the new home video of "After the Wedding" and I'm just as entertained as if I were the one who got it 1159 | ==================== 1160 | I'm one of those people who just can't stop talking about the chicken 1161 | ==================== 1162 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 1163 | ==================== 1164 | lol 1165 | ==================== 1166 | I love this recipe. I was all "NO"s about the garlic and butter and all the people who make it and I was like oh shit 1167 | ==================== 1168 | I'm the only one that doesn't know what a follower is. It's twitter. You follow people because they follow you. 1169 | ==================== 1170 | you do?? 1171 | ==================== 1172 | ahhahahahha 1173 | ==================== 1174 | I'm tired. I need rest. #frequently 1175 | ==================== 1176 | you do realize it's on a different device right? 1177 | ==================== 1178 | I will help you get to the door if you pay me. I am a generous lady. I wish all my friends and acquaintances could be as nice as you are. I wish I could be that nice. 1179 | ==================== 1180 | What is wrong with you people. You are all in this together. You are not "just" chatting with each other. It's sad. 1181 | ==================== 1182 | ❤️ 1183 | ==================== 1184 | oh my god, you are too normal 1185 | ==================== 1186 | the john legend bachelor party is officially happening. (this is a recording) (this is how it works) 1187 | ==================== 1188 | you are so right. I can't help but think that if I was a bit of a cheater myself (ok, here's the definition of a cheater) I would be quite the cheater. cheater on one hand, really, 1189 | ==================== 1190 | I am a big fan of your style and I hope you continue to be a good example to others. 1191 | ==================== 1192 | I will be casting soon. Not for a casting? 1193 | ==================== 1194 | It's my favorite part of the airplane if you are allowed to say that 1195 | ==================== 1196 | Just some background on the power of a good rant. 1197 | ==================== 1198 | haha i am a stupid mornin! 1199 | ==================== 1200 | wait it's not a gay slur? Why is it so common and not, you ask? 1201 | ==================== 1202 | wait. that's not what I just said. I said I am ALLlll the way to bahamas. I am from bahamas. 1203 | ==================== 1204 | I am so sorry to disappoint you all, but I have no interest in being a baby. 1205 | ==================== 1206 | hahahahaha 1207 | ==================== 1208 | no. i follow you. just in case you've been following me for some of the time. haha 1209 | ==================== 1210 | IT IS HAPPENING TODAY, JIMMY! 1211 | ==================== 1212 | this is a really great tweet 1213 | ==================== 1214 | lol I just looked at the of it. I am a megalomaniac. I will wear it to all your party needs 1215 | ==================== 1216 | welcome to the family, latino band! 1217 | ==================== 1218 | I read your message and I'm not sure if I like you. 1219 | ==================== 1220 | what, but i will never talk about it? i'll never know? i'll never know? 1221 | ==================== 1222 | I mean it's not a nasty thing. But my phone just randomly started binging what I thought was a video of someone being creepy and i don't know who it was but it stopped and I'm mad at the company 1223 | ==================== 1224 | I'm a cryptic type of gal. RT 1225 | 1226 | ==================== 1227 | africa 1228 | ==================== 1229 | Landedddd in Chicago! Best city in the world for live music. Where else would the people be?! 1230 | ==================== 1231 | I'm just gonna do the super easy version and leave you with the super hard ones! 1232 | ==================== 1233 | so many people forget it's a class and they are just looking for a teacher 1234 | ==================== 1235 | it's ok. i am a newt and love pringles. that is definitely the craziest thing i have ever done to pringles. i am a newt and love pringles. 1236 | ==================== 1237 | 💕 1238 | ==================== 1239 | well fuck. I have been working on getting this book here for weeks now. the recipe is coming along nicely. i am so happy. 1240 | ==================== 1241 | I'm NOT kidding. It's really good. But I am going to make fun of you in the new year because I am a year old 1242 | ==================== 1243 | my body hates this shit. i. hate. this. i am. crying. 1244 | ==================== 1245 | amazing!! Thank you! 1246 | ==================== 1247 | theres a business reason why they don't want you to post their ads on your page, you wanko? 1248 | ==================== 1249 | I am so excited for this event. I will be posting all of the meatballs then you all will have to make them for me! 1250 | ==================== 1251 | Rise and grind rise and grind lady's day all day oh I love it 1252 | ==================== 1253 | Oh shit. I am done here. Thank you, Cravings. Thank you. 1254 | ==================== 1255 | I could not find a better crowd. I believe this is the only thing better than a live, televised game. 1256 | ==================== 1257 | i just re-watched "my first kiss" and boy did i love it. my brain is soggy as a motherfucker I love you so much 1258 | ==================== 1259 | I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 1260 | ==================== 1261 | I love my life. 1262 | ==================== 1263 | me too me too 1264 | ==================== 1265 | Oh my god. I was just thinking about you, baby. 1266 | ==================== 1267 | I am not a fan of people crying during commercials so should I stay out of this one? 1268 | ==================== 1269 | Omg. It's okay. I get it. It hurts a little bit. It's why I fart so much 1270 | ==================== 1271 | I really need to know if we are still in the internet 1272 | ==================== 1273 | they're in a hut, eating a biscuit and drinking a soda. and I love that. 1274 | ==================== 1275 | I love that person. ❤️ 1276 | ==================== 1277 | awesome! 1278 | ==================== 1279 | Landeddddddd hopefully there is still time for a couple drinks. Thank you! 1280 | ==================== 1281 | lol 1282 | ==================== 1283 | these must be some incredibly weird people. they must be completely insane. 1284 | ==================== 1285 | I am so so sorry, I know you feel so bad for her and for us. We are family. I am so sorry. 1286 | ==================== 1287 | no. i am not a criminal. i am a child of the stars. 1288 | ==================== 1289 | what is wrong with you? make me laugh every time you tweet. 1290 | ==================== 1291 | I am obsessed with you 1292 | ==================== 1293 | you are so right. it wasnt him. he is not me. 1294 | ==================== 1295 | There is no birds on this plane. Because there is no birds on this plane. 1296 | ==================== 1297 | I like it when you are so mad at someone for something that you did not do. I like you when you are mad at someone for something you did not do. 1298 | ==================== 1299 | lol 1300 | ==================== 1301 | I am in! 1302 | ==================== 1303 | Goodbye, pippa! Happy birthday to one of my favorite characters, ! 1304 | ==================== 1305 | that is a really big number, dude. I am serious about this tweet. 1306 | ==================== 1307 | just saw in an ad for my haircut. what the fuck, you crazy bastards? 1308 | ==================== 1309 | love! so sweet. 1310 | ==================== 1311 | I can't believe I said "honey boo" and I was so nervous for something so silly! I did it for hours 1312 | ==================== 1313 | I did. So I'm not that dumb. 1314 | ==================== 1315 | I'm not a fan but I like it. RT and I love that you think I'm joking about eating-a-burrito 1316 | ==================== 1317 | oh my! ❤️💩🎂 1318 | ==================== 1319 | Guys. I know you and I love our friendship. I will always be here for you even if it means losing me. 1320 | ==================== 1321 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOBBY!!! 1322 | ==================== 1323 | I am talking about the cupcakes on the right. (It's a joke, I know) 1324 | ==================== 1325 | <|startoftext|>🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣� 1326 | ==================== 1327 | I seriously do not understand any of this. I am so confused. I am so angry. should I tweet? 1328 | ==================== 1329 | I am so confused. Is this a shirt or a hat? I don't wear hats 1330 | ==================== 1331 | I'm not kidding. It's a new thing. I have a photo of it but it's a photoshop job and I don't do ads. I hate it. I need it back. or it just doesn't exist anymore? 1332 | ==================== 1333 | going to dinner tonight! is u there?? I am coming to dinner tonight! 1334 | ==================== 1335 | I am an asshat first and foremost. Which means I will be the first to say I am a bit of a slut. 1336 | ==================== 1337 | lol 1338 | ==================== 1339 | I am eating my way through season 3 finale of #RHOMelbourne! 1340 | ==================== 1341 | I should be shocked. You do that and I will literally do that. I will literally do that. 1342 | ==================== 1343 | YES 1344 | ==================== 1345 | The most perfect thing in the world is my iphone. But the best thing is the fact that I don't need a charger. For the first time in my life, I don't need a charger. 1346 | ==================== 1347 | I know, guys. I am totally going through my clothes. I am a fashion fiend! 1348 | ==================== 1349 | I know I am just happy you guys love! 1350 | ==================== 1351 | lol! 1352 | ==================== 1353 | MATT I KNOW YOU LIKE ME I CANT SEE YOU I LOVE YOU 1354 | ==================== 1355 | Yum!! 1356 | ==================== 1357 | AH!! Hi me and my dog from my show here! 1358 | ==================== 1359 | making an easy, healthy snapper with simple flour tortillas! (so easy I could just eat the flour) this is exactly that. i love easy things. 1360 | ==================== 1361 | Bad news: you have no abs. 1362 | ==================== 1363 | #whydidntgetthis #whydidntgetthis RT you dont know what I'm talking about, you are completely uninformed about me and my family. I love you 1364 | ==================== 1365 | we are the luckiest girls on earth. 1366 | ==================== 1367 | gasp 1368 | ==================== 1369 | I love you 1370 | ==================== 1371 | I have been watching this game for 12 hours straight. I love it. I love it. 1372 | ==================== 1373 | when u have to choose between a meal and a show, u really can't do it ALL. im sorry 1374 | ==================== 1375 | I'm in love with my brother 1376 | ==================== 1377 | I've met so many amazing people in my short life. It's amazing. 1378 | ==================== 1379 | how long is your winter 1380 | ==================== 1381 | thai noodles! 1382 | ==================== 1383 | well i did not tell you i am not a gorehouse. i asked for a friend. so there you go! :) 1384 | ==================== 1385 | oh my god. i am so sorry. i was so nervous! i love you so much. 1386 | ==================== 1387 | People are weird. Seriously. We are weird. I am weird. 1388 | ==================== 1389 | it's the one with the poop in the middle, ya stupid bitch. 1390 | ==================== 1391 | Getting ready for #SunsOutCinema recital with #EricLovato #Sagan 1392 | ==================== 1393 | DUDE. WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE FAMILY. IT DIDN'T JUST GO ON THE AIR! HATERS AND BEWBES! 1394 | ==================== 1395 | Sebastian maniscalo is one of the best actors of our generation. I. Love. Him. 1396 | ==================== 1397 | it's ok. it's okay. yes. i get it. i am a great girl. 1398 | ==================== 1399 | lol 1400 | ==================== 1401 | I am very patient 1402 | ==================== 1403 | lmao 1404 | ==================== 1405 | I would like to live tweet it. I have great friends who I would live tweet the crime. I love them. 1406 | ==================== 1407 | I really did not know it was going to be that long. I was just preparing for the worst case scenario. Someone was going to die. I am very lucky to be one of the few people on the planet that can say i was the one to get to see it happen. I am so sad. 1408 | ==================== 1409 | I hate the interview because I was flailing about in my chair and the guy just said I look like a "dumb bitch". Lmao 1410 | ==================== 1411 | I'm feeling a bit queasy so I'm gonna pretend it's just the chow. 1412 | ==================== 1413 | hahahaha 1414 | ==================== 1415 | I don't know what I did wrong but I'm sorry I am so upset all the time 1416 | ==================== 1417 | I'm not an animal lover. I am an animal lover. I love animals. but man I am so misinformed on this thing. from what I understand, they are all herbivores. I would be mad if I was one of those herbivores. 1418 | ==================== 1419 | I am so sad I was a witness to this moment of rage. I so wanted to be a nyc cop. I am so sad. 1420 | ==================== 1421 | whoa!!!! thank you! 1422 | ==================== 1423 | he is such a fucking weirdo. i hope he has a nice life. 1424 | ==================== 1425 | my momofuku doesn't have a background of tofu. i want their tofu background. i want their tofu background. 1426 | ==================== 1427 | I don't know how anyone could be so hateful towards you, you type-o, but I'm gonna. Because people with type 1 can't help but hate you. 1428 | ==================== 1429 | I like it when people confirm that they are watching the horse 1430 | ==================== 1431 | I definitely want to get a refund for that one. I did not know I was allowed to ask for one. 1432 | ==================== 1433 | It’ll be okay!! It’ll take a little doing. But you’ll be fine! 1434 | ==================== 1435 | I will now go ahead and pretend I didn't say anything and that isn't the case. 1436 | ==================== 1437 | I’m sorry, I’ve been having a rough day. I’ve been down, like, 8 hours. I’ve been on meds for 12 hours. I’ve been up, like, 9 days. I’ve been in a coma for 12 weeks now 1438 | ==================== 1439 | if you only knew the joy that is my life. I never get sad. it hurts sometimes, but it also gives me energy to accomplish things. 1440 | ==================== 1441 | I just saw a commercial for Xanax on TV and I was like uhhh that shit is just horrible I need to hurt people instead of just taking 1442 | ==================== 1443 | hahahahahaha 1444 | ==================== 1445 | WATER NOMELON!!! THANK YOU!! 1446 | ==================== 1447 | I......I thought I was joking. 1448 | ==================== 1449 | THAT IS WHAT I DO 1450 | ==================== 1451 | I want to tweet like i'm famous or something. I'm young and stupid and I want people to see me walk in fashion shows or something. 1452 | ==================== 1453 | I...I am the one that did all of this for you. I am the one that created the account and the photos and the videos and the websites. I am the one that created the account. 1454 | ==================== 1455 | Why don't you stop following the fakers and follow the liars? I already have 100 followers from you and I hate you. 1456 | ==================== 1457 | touche! 1458 | ==================== 1459 | just found out my grandma is really great at math. 1460 | ==================== 1461 | I'm in new york! 1462 | ==================== 1463 | you're a fucking idiot. I didn't say I was going to. I said I have a great life. what the fuck do you think you're going to get out of this. 1464 | ==================== 1465 | honestly I do not understand the layout of my timeline. I can't find the tweet I followed to the article. I don't get it. 1466 | ==================== 1467 | REALLY BIE 1468 | ==================== 1469 | lol 1470 | ==================== 1471 | a lot of people think i am a normal human. i am a super human super freakah 1472 | ==================== 1473 | Wonderful. RT he is immortal, I swear. I said I would find someone to marry. 1474 | ==================== 1475 | still crazy to see it in the HOF but glad someone cares! 1476 | ==================== 1477 | ❤️❤️❤️ 1478 | ==================== 1479 | This new thing where you have to register for something and then you have to show your fucking ID to get in the door and get on with your day 1480 | ==================== 1481 | take the survey 1482 | ==================== 1483 | I am going to start following the assholes who post the most offensive, ass-sucking comments to their accounts. 1484 | ==================== 1485 | no. a lot of people think it's sweet to tell someone they are rude, but we are all rude in different ways. i am just talking about you. you are not the kind of rude person who likes to speak. i hate you. 1486 | ==================== 1487 | I want my tips on how to make the best chicken soup online 1488 | ==================== 1489 | I want to see! 1490 | ==================== 1491 | I have a lot to do today so I'm gonna do them all, you guys. Not everyone's a day! 1492 | ==================== 1493 | happy 4th birthday! 1494 | ==================== 1495 | Shit. I just realized how much I hate this lightbulbs. I really should not have to turn this off. 1496 | ==================== 1497 | my head is hurting 1498 | ==================== 1499 | I love you guys 1500 | ==================== 1501 | what the hell is wrong with you people 1502 | ==================== 1503 | You can't just eat it. It's a condiment. You can't just put it on cheese. It's disgusting. 1504 | ==================== 1505 | why? I am a child. 1506 | ==================== 1507 | Lol you are a fucking idiot 1508 | ==================== 1509 | oh my god. is my hero. 1510 | ==================== 1511 | I seriously have no idea what this means. I'm just gonna go ahead and pretend I am the only one with a couple days of training who understands it. 1512 | ==================== 1513 | I got a little caught up in the good vibes and now I am being sad all day 1514 | ==================== 1515 | you are not the first person to notice my addiction to you. I have an addiction to you. I love you. 1516 | ==================== 1517 | the smell. the smell. the smell. 1518 | ==================== 1519 | lol 1520 | ==================== 1521 | I just told my gf I don't know what she said and she said "well she's just a girl" 1522 | ==================== 1523 | I'm not joking. 1524 | ==================== 1525 | yeah. it is. and it's not the same. i changed it up, too. haha. 1526 | ==================== 1527 | The entire article is one long rant. Maybe I'm a sensitive, sensitive person but I really can't take the comments anymore. Not now. 1528 | ==================== 1529 | I've been reading the and an email from 1530 | ==================== 1531 | lol 1532 | ==================== 1533 | hahahahahahahah 1534 | ==================== 1535 | I am officially a stan. I am so happy. 1536 | ==================== 1537 | 1538 | ==================== 1539 | i am a restaurant kind of gal 1540 | ==================== 1541 | i was the one who said "that's not a joke" to and I'm sure he is fine with it. 1542 | ==================== 1543 | the best part is I didn't know I was doing it til after I posted it. Thanks, chrissy! 1544 | ==================== 1545 | lol 1546 | ==================== 1547 | Do you ever put a fish in a car and hope they don't steal it? 1548 | ==================== 1549 | Okay. Time to go back to real life. 1550 | ==================== 1551 | I miss my sweet, sweet baby. 1552 | ==================== 1553 | I'm gonna go ahead and play devil's advocate here and pretend you all are the undead and that's how you die 1554 | ==================== 1555 | #adoptdontgetaround 1556 | ==================== 1557 | Distracted driving is the worst thing to happen to me and my family. And yet, I am so content with being in my own bed and being an alert sleeper who loves to tweet and talk about my day. 1558 | ==================== 1559 | Marked for death #lmao #notmybody #deadlyfeeling #inappropriate 1560 | ==================== 1561 | i'm there 1562 | ==================== 1563 | this is the shit I want. i want a post-show 1564 | ==================== 1565 | Being a part of the #SUNDAY AFTERNOON will be delightful tonight! VS on at 10/9c!!!! 1566 | ==================== 1567 | I love that I really am the potbelly 1568 | ==================== 1569 | I did it in my sleep. I am a pudgy girl 1570 | ==================== 1571 | I hope so!! 1572 | ==================== 1573 | hahahahaha 1574 | ==================== 1575 | thank you!! :) 1576 | ==================== 1577 | I'll never forget the first time I heard this! I was so confused as to how someone could possibly play such a dangerous game 1578 | ==================== 1579 | YEAH 1580 | ==================== 1581 | yeah it's not my butt 1582 | ==================== 1583 | dammit I'm drunk 1584 | ==================== 1585 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIZNATCH!!! 1586 | ==================== 1587 | lol 1588 | ==================== 1589 | aw. thank you! 1590 | ==================== 1591 | What is it? 1592 | ==================== 1593 | lol 1594 | ==================== 1595 | I just did this and it was awesome. Thank you for all the help! 1596 | ==================== 1597 | lol 1598 | ==================== 1599 | I love you, my love 1600 | ==================== 1601 | When you are mad at someone for doing something stupid and you are mad at them for doing it, you are just as mad at them for doing it as they did. This is a huge difference. What are you mad at? You are mad at them for doing something stupid. Why did they do it? 1602 | ==================== 1603 | AHHHHHHH. I have made so many bad decisions in my life that I *would* not* be able to understand how someone can walk in a restaurant and order food. I would not be able to care. I would not be able to love. I would not be able to love the way I do. I feel like I am slowly breaking down and crying as I type. I am sad. 1604 | ==================== 1605 | lol 1606 | ==================== 1607 | I know! I made it for my kid! 1608 | ==================== 1609 | HA! I said "she" and she said "she is my wife" Hahhaahha 1610 | ==================== 1611 | The t-shirt people are hard. I'd rather have the $20. 1612 | ==================== 1613 | I have a lot of respect for Alex Wagner but he looks like a hot mess. 1614 | ==================== 1615 | I am Liz Lemon 1616 | ==================== 1617 | I am sorry I was not able to remember to change that song. It's on repeat. That's my first off of love 1618 | ==================== 1619 | is way too much. I need a life. 1620 | ==================== 1621 | I have a lot of respect for those who make that decision. I don't want to be that person. But now that I am one, I want to be a part of it. I just don't want to do it. 1622 | ==================== 1623 | i just watched the commercials for jeffrey lucas underwear. i love them. 1624 | ==================== 1625 | What is wrong with you? 1626 | ==================== 1627 | awesome!! 1628 | ==================== 1629 | I love you so much and I miss you but I'm here on vacation. Happy 4th birthday to my love and best friend!! 1630 | ==================== 1631 | I'm in. If anyone wants to go to tarantula park, I'll be there! 1632 | ==================== 1633 | Omg we can't believe this photo is >100% real. #fablifeshow 1634 | ==================== 1635 | I love the new website. I love the new website. I will be back soon! 1636 | ==================== 1637 | I've been out for 4 days straight. At least 5 days a week. 1638 | ==================== 1639 | hahahahaha 1640 | ==================== 1641 | lol 1642 | ==================== 1643 | I love when you troll and you make people happy. It is SO good of you. 1644 | ==================== 1645 | googling "sweet tea party" 1646 | ==================== 1647 | I like the shit out of a baby 1648 | ==================== 1649 | lol 1650 | ==================== 1651 | hahahahaha 1652 | ==================== 1653 | you have my heart. 1654 | ==================== 1655 | that is my favorite thing to say. i am not joking. 1656 | ==================== 1657 | god i love this but i'm not a fan. i wish i could give you more of a reason to hate me. 1658 | ==================== 1659 | I'm having a party with my nintendo 3DS and I need your help 1660 | ==================== 1661 | I just bought a really expensive ballpoint pen and I'm not quite sure if I want my kid to have one. 1662 | ==================== 1663 | i just realized i can't tell the difference between a vegan and a hippy. i follow so many vegans, hippies, and other non-vegans it makes me sad. 1664 | ==================== 1665 | We have stopped being friends and are now enemies. I hate her. I hate her. 1666 | ==================== 1667 | I have finally decided to start following the twitter accounts of people who post pictures of their dog 1668 | ==================== 1669 | I am sorry, I can't help but think that this is all very inappropriate 1670 | ==================== 1671 | can't wait to be the only person to receive a book with a full kitchen and not be able to take a shower for fear of being "abrasive" 1672 | ==================== 1673 | people really think i'm this dumb, they think im just a really nice person 1674 | ==================== 1675 | i got this. i did not ask for it. i am not some sort of genius genius. i just love reading about crazy shit. 1676 | ==================== 1677 | I didn't know that. My dog died. I am SO PUMPED as I am now on top of the world. I just realized the past few days. 1678 | ==================== 1679 | what is wrong with you people? re-watching "my life" and you have this weird, bad, bad taste in movies? somehow, you cannot ever, ever hate something as sweet and tender as a mother tongue? 1680 | ==================== 1681 | it's not my absolute best work, i'm just incredibly bored. anyone wanna swing by i'd love to see you! 1682 | ==================== 1683 | I can't wait. ❤️❤️❤️ 1684 | ==================== 1685 | I didn't know that. I am a red lobster scallop and I am not gonna complain. 1686 | ==================== 1687 | oh dear. i cannot get it to load. i am very impatient and very sleepy. this is why i am not a good mother. i am impatient. 1688 | ==================== 1689 | I don't get the difference between a jimmy dean and a jon banister. I am not a hater, I am a hater. 1690 | ==================== 1691 | I have no idea what it is but I'm gonna pretend I'm in on this somehow dammit 1692 | ==================== 1693 | honestly most of you are so stupid that it's amazing. 1694 | ==================== 1695 | *no* noooo 1696 | ==================== 1697 | I honestly don't think I've ever been a "celeb liar". I think I've never been a dumb person. I just read your story and I am speechless. I am so angry. 1698 | ==================== 1699 | I laughed out loud. I am so sad now. I was so proud to get to be on the show and do a scene with the stars and it was so fun I didn't even think about the fact I missed it all night. 1700 | ==================== 1701 | Oh my god. RT Goodbye, sweet angel. 1702 | ==================== 1703 | oh I have been waiting for that!! 1704 | ==================== 1705 | Touche. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. RT I like what I read. I think you are a weirdo, but you are reading a couple things 1706 | ==================== 1707 | we are not at the airport. 1708 | ==================== 1709 | DAMMIT I DIDNT SEE YOU I'M VERY RARE FOR YOU TO SEE 1710 | ==================== 1711 | I don't even know if I can even call this a "red eye" anymore 1712 | ==================== 1713 | Aw mannn easy money 1714 | ==================== 1715 | I can't believe I just said "all of us" to a random man in the middle of the night. I mean seriously, I am so non-committal 1716 | ==================== 1717 | I'm going to. I'd like to see it. I'm very curious. 1718 | ==================== 1719 | I love you too, little sister 1720 | ==================== 1721 | Watching an awful lot of "I Love Lucy" lately. First off, Lucy is gross and janky and this is my new life now 1722 | ==================== 1723 | I’m gonna take this one exactly one step further and pretend I knew what was going on at the club. 1724 | ==================== 1725 | I have 1,000 stars. 1,000 stars. 1726 | ==================== 1727 | I'm sure they will. 1728 | ==================== 1729 | the haters do exist. i am one of them. 1730 | ==================== 1731 | Just posted a photo 1732 | ==================== 1733 | I think I have a tummy joke that will be on my next "how to be a girl" tweet. And it will be my worst Twitter moment ever. I will cry. 1734 | ==================== 1735 | <|startoftext|>bald? bald? bald? YOU ARE YOU NOT THE BALD LADY BALD NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA 1736 | ==================== 1737 | I just asked my friend for an autograph. He said he has no photos of me and no name 1738 | ==================== 1739 | Stop. I. Am. Not. talking about the first. I didn't know that! I don't even remember the last time we talked. 1740 | ==================== 1741 | the best part about a child's birthday party is that you're the one that bought them 1742 | ==================== 1743 | I will be watching the vma's and vice versa I guess 1744 | ==================== 1745 | literally every word of this makes me laugh. Thank you for being so kind. I'm sure you have a great life. 1746 | ==================== 1747 | AHHHH 1748 | ==================== 1749 | I'm just as guilty as you are of trying to be funny 1750 | ==================== 1751 | It's not a bug. It's your face. You are the bug. You are the bug. You are the bug. You are the bug. It's a terrible, horrible thing to see but it's a lot less scary and gross when you are the bug. 1752 | ==================== 1753 | yes! I am in the car if you need to talk! 1754 | ==================== 1755 | i have been saying the same thing i have been doing for the past 5 hours. whoa. i will pay the price if necessary. 1756 | ==================== 1757 | I dunno how to do it on mobile. I have a phone but it's a laptop. I'm not a matchmaker. Nobody is a matchmaker. I am. I am. 1758 | ==================== 1759 | I must. I need to. I think I have a crush. 1760 | ==================== 1761 | you can save yourself. you were a pampered child. oh be nice. 1762 | ==================== 1763 | I do not have the patience for this shit. Not right now. 1764 | ==================== 1765 | how much money would you have to spend to have a hot dog on the plane 1766 | ==================== 1767 | the jokes were great and I love you. I am just sad you are in a different location 1768 | ==================== 1769 | baked hamachi noodles with spicy mayo. once upon a time I was mad. finally, a happy memory. 1770 | ==================== 1771 | I am not in the best mood 1772 | ==================== 1773 | I say "NO" to these questions every day. I am a moron. 1774 | ==================== 1775 | I just started a new hobby I am not yet familiar with. My mom is a model so who am I kidding here? I am curious. What are you curious about? 1776 | ==================== 1777 | so! i am old and white and my mom is Asian and my dad is a gorilla. i think this makes me feel a little more...classy. 1778 | ==================== 1779 | oh my god. good call. 1780 | ==================== 1781 | i'm watching "the fight" on the plane. it's 5am and we are all up and ready for bed. i am gonna pretend i am watching a fight in my terror-stricken mind. i know. i am. 1782 | ==================== 1783 | I just watched "Rosewater" and it's not just me. I am speaking for millions of other women. 1784 | ==================== 1785 | lol 1786 | ==================== 1787 | The thing is, I don't watch sports I watch tv shows. I am the only one who doesn't have cable. But I watch a ton and I love it. So it's not that big of a deal. The amount of people who don't get it is insane. 1788 | ==================== 1789 | I have an open window on my side with no curtains and my phone is in the middle of the night including the night I open it. It is impossible for me to open it. I am too afraid. Thank you, ! 1790 | ==================== 1791 | LOL 1792 | ==================== 1793 | you are right 1794 | ==================== 1795 | lol 1796 | ==================== 1797 | It was nice meeting you!! 1798 | ==================== 1799 | I have a playlist of songs I haven't listened to in years and I love them. So much. 1800 | ==================== 1801 | aw I love! 1802 | ==================== 1803 | hahahahahahahhahahahaha 1804 | ==================== 1805 | I haven't seen so many people trying to get me to like their backyard BBQ sauce that not many people are making it for themselves 1806 | ==================== 1807 | make sure to watch vs on tonight at 10/9c! super fighty, super duper fighty!!! 1808 | ==================== 1809 | oh my fucking god. he was so nice and sweet and sweet and funny and sweet and i love himeeee 1810 | ==================== 1811 | Lol I will be watching it. RT : The woman who fell in love with is sharing her journey with us. #unfollowed 1812 | ==================== 1813 | ah great you are just getting started oh you are all startin now 1814 | ==================== 1815 | When you are anorexic and you eat all the ice cream so you have ice cream bars? #tbt 1816 | ==================== 1817 | no, i do not have a job. i am a very happy cam girl. but i am a happy cam girl nonetheless. 1818 | ==================== 1819 | I miss you, baby. 1820 | ==================== 1821 | I have decided that if I want a steak, I better start going to the steakhouse tomorrow. Good luck! 1822 | ==================== 1823 | I lost it 1824 | ==================== 1825 | I always do but I don't have a Twitter account. I read your tweets, you know. I am there. 1826 | ==================== 1827 | I'm not racist because I love black people. I love black people because they are the only thing keeping me sane. I'm no longer mad at you, you racist assholes. 1828 | ==================== 1829 | I am so sorry you feel this way. I am sorry. I know I'm upset. 1830 | ==================== 1831 | lol! 1832 | ==================== 1833 | I say whatever the fuck I want, however the fuck I want it. I'm not some god-given human right. 1834 | ==================== 1835 | Just watched the last homeland sesh. REALLY freaking love this show. Season 9 is the best work ever. Smells great 1836 | ==================== 1837 | Anyhow, I'm in and I'm pretty excited. I don't know if I can move so I'm gonna sit and stare or if I'll move and I'll be like "I'm ready for this" 1838 | ==================== 1839 | awesome!! I love u guys! 1840 | ==================== 1841 | so many people asking me how to do this and I really cannot find a good post. I am so confused. 1842 | ==================== 1843 | lol 1844 | ==================== 1845 | I do not understand the layout at all. I am a mouse. I cannot click and drag. I cannot move. I cannot click and drag. I cannot click and drag. I cannot click and drag. I just can't. I am not a mouse. I am rigid and terrible. I am so bad. There is nothing I can do. I'm a mouse. I cannot click and drag. I cannot click and drag. I just can't. I am bad. I wish I could be bad. I wish so badly I could be bad. 1846 | ==================== 1847 | Not feeling very well. So much heat. I am going to need my dressing room hot off the press. It's a job. 1848 | ==================== 1849 | I had to look up "calm down" in my search history. I'm a very introverted person. 1850 | ==================== 1851 | I have to be there. I'm the only one who can see lol 1852 | ==================== 1853 | #reverso #lipsyncbattle 1854 | ==================== 1855 | good luck guys 1856 | ==================== 1857 | I am not a super fan. I am a nerd. I don't speak Super Nintendo. I am nerd. 1858 | ==================== 1859 | That was a joke but you guys are really pushing me here. I am really doing this for the people. 1860 | ==================== 1861 | I don't even know what to say except "I'm sorry for your loss" and "I love you" at the same time. 1862 | ==================== 1863 | Oh my god. I could not do the whole thing on the plane. I had to have a propane stove and a lunch box. I am a very, very slow p.s. I am a very slow person. 1864 | ==================== 1865 | lol 1866 | ==================== 1867 | I don't know if I have a love for the cuteness. I will never be as happy as they are both 1868 | ==================== 1869 | Hey! 1870 | ==================== 1871 | I'm sitting on a folding chair but I'm telling you, it's worth it. 1872 | ==================== 1873 | I don't understand how to order it online 1874 | ==================== 1875 | I am so sorry for making you visit this site. It's all I can do now. Life will be a little easier. Much of it! 1876 | ==================== 1877 | whoa. you. are. amazing. thank you!! 1878 | ==================== 1879 | lol 1880 | ==================== 1881 | He is my hero 1882 | ==================== 1883 | I have a lot of respect for all of you for taking down the largest spambot on the planet. I respect you. But I am sad you all do not feel the immense joy you felt at the end. 1884 | ==================== 1885 | I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed that I did not know better. I would have told you to follow me if you wanted to. 1886 | ==================== 1887 | thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 1888 | ==================== 1889 | Happy birthday to one of my best friends and the very first "friend" from my long-running blog, ! xoxoxoxo 1890 | ==================== 1891 | I have a lot to do today. I will be in miami! 1892 | ==================== 1893 | I can't stop laughing. I can't stop. I can't stop. 1894 | ==================== 1895 | I need the book. I need all the books. There is only one place in the world I need it. I need it. I don't want it everywhere. 1896 | ==================== 1897 | If u are in nyc I am not here in the morning. I am in nyc I am good here in the afternoon. 1898 | ==================== 1899 | is this the first time i have seen this? 1900 | ==================== 1901 | I did just say that in a joking manner. I am not serious. I have been doing some comedy shows and not always well. I REALLY need to learn the difference between audience and comedian. I really need to. 1902 | ==================== 1903 | this is a very kind thing to say. Thank you! 1904 | ==================== 1905 | you sound like a great dude, rachel 1906 | ==================== 1907 | we can't have a great social media team. we are too dangerous, too sexy, too quick to be accused of anything. That, is a shame. 1908 | ==================== 1909 | not my dog 1910 | ==================== 1911 | hahahahaha 1912 | ==================== 1913 | the lack of a shirt grabber on my flight means I must grab my shirt with both hands and hope it won't flip up. Best way to carry my heavy bag! 1914 | ==================== 1915 | lol 1916 | ==================== 1917 | Trying to locate the best nyc ramen noodles. I've tried everything. Nothing. So I googled it. V. F. O. L. A. 1918 | ==================== 1919 | the only thing missing is the bread. 1920 | ==================== 1921 | yes, very much. 1922 | ==================== 1923 | why do I need a sponsorship from you? it's not that kind of sponsorship. 1924 | ==================== 1925 | I have no life why should I have to say this dr. shirley 1926 | ==================== 1927 | I don't understand the math here. I thought you had to be 14 and live in the city? 1928 | ==================== 1929 | Pizza is hot, I love it. W 1930 | ==================== 1931 | ps is it? 1932 | ==================== 1933 | I am so...so happy this is happening. I am so happy! 1934 | ==================== 1935 | sooo this is a wrap. i was just thinking about you. 1936 | ==================== 1937 | lol 1938 | ==================== 1939 | I can't get past the fact that I have a tiny black penis and that is what is so special about it? 1940 | ==================== 1941 | i did not mean to sound like i was at the airport and was just pissed off at my ineptitude 1942 | ==================== 1943 | lol 1944 | ==================== 1945 | I don't know how to do one of those without ripping my face off. And I hate myself for it 1946 | ==================== 1947 | I think I have a new show! taping soon! 1948 | ==================== 1949 | I would appreciate it if you were a teen mom 1950 | ==================== 1951 | Well done! 1952 | ==================== 1953 | I am not mad at you. I am happy you're not feeling as bad about your situation as I am. 1954 | ==================== 1955 | This is a real story of one of the most amazing friends that I have ever had. I am a terrible joke writer. 1956 | ==================== 1957 | I'm just gonna use your chicken 1958 | ==================== 1959 | I know! I like to do things myself. But don't you have a lot of daycare? 1960 | ==================== 1961 | i like how i can't sit down to watch tv without it reminding me that i have a brand new figure skater doll on my lap 1962 | ==================== 1963 | i started my own twitter account NOT because i am bored, bored is a great excuse for your twitter account to be inactive. i want you to be a little more aware of the things you talk about. 1964 | ==================== 1965 | hahahahahahahah 1966 | ==================== 1967 | I am a hater. RT Just learned you're pregnant. heh heh heh 1968 | ==================== 1969 | That is such a random way to say something, Aussie. RT Sydney, you are perfect. You are perfect. 1970 | ==================== 1971 | I literally just went to cupcakes & stuffed pepperoni pizza place in new york and ordered stuffed pepperoni pizza. I was there for 2 hours and still had no cupcakes. So I am still eating the pepperoni pizza in that time. 1972 | ==================== 1973 | I just saw a can of canola and thought I was gonna fry it and then it was actually in a bag with canola and I was like well I wonder if this is sold in the grocery store 1974 | ==================== 1975 | I'm not kidding. 1976 | ==================== 1977 | lol the answer was a lot of pain. 1978 | ==================== 1979 | I just saw a man passing out drunk on the street and I got really weirded out. Didn't see anything. Well, I DID see some things but there was no john 1980 | ==================== 1981 | it's not my birthday it's your birthday 1982 | ==================== 1983 | I just posted a photo 1984 | ==================== 1985 | I feel like my first instinct when they say "no we can't use the dress" is to run into the nearest store and start crying. I feel so stupid 1986 | ==================== 1987 | I am actually a bit of an idiot. I just bought a fancy online photo editor to take down my stupid photo editor app because of a photoshoot I had. The photo editor is amazing and he is very smart. I will use it for my shoots now. It is wonderful. Thank you! 1988 | ==================== 1989 | I have to be very careful what I wish for. I will never not be upset when you spoil it for me. 1990 | ==================== 1991 | Hands down the sweetest, gentlest I've ever seen a man. 1992 | ==================== 1993 | lol 1994 | ==================== 1995 | welcome to my family! 1996 | ==================== 1997 | You must be the worst. You must be chased by the worst. I hate you. 1998 | ==================== 1999 | I am so sorry :( 2000 | ==================== 2001 | I've been watching for a while now. This video is not at all like any other video I've ever seen. It's crazy. And I am crazy. I am so insanely in love with her. 2002 | ==================== 2003 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------