├── .gitignore ├── LICENSE ├── README.md ├── data ├── nietzsche.txt ├── pride_and_prejudice.txt ├── shakespeare.txt ├── war_and_peace.txt └── wonderland.txt ├── evaluate.py ├── model.py ├── models └── seq2seq.h5 ├── train_val.py └── utils.py /.gitignore: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # Custom 2 | *.stackdump 3 | *.swp 4 | 5 | # OS generated files 6 | .DS_Store 7 | .DS_Store? 8 | ._* 9 | .Spotlight-V100 10 | .Trashes 11 | Thumbs.db 12 | 13 | # Byte-compiled / optimized / DLL files 14 | __pycache__/ 15 | *.py[cod] 16 | *$py.class 17 | 18 | # C extensions 19 | *.so 20 | 21 | # Distribution / packaging 22 | .Python 23 | env/ 24 | build/ 25 | develop-eggs/ 26 | dist/ 27 | downloads/ 28 | eggs/ 29 | .eggs/ 30 | lib/ 31 | lib64/ 32 | parts/ 33 | sdist/ 34 | var/ 35 | *.egg-info/ 36 | .installed.cfg 37 | *.egg 38 | 39 | # PyInstaller 40 | # Usually these files are written by a python script from a template 41 | # before PyInstaller builds the exe, so as to inject date/other infos into it. 42 | *.manifest 43 | *.spec 44 | 45 | # Installer logs 46 | pip-log.txt 47 | pip-delete-this-directory.txt 48 | 49 | # Unit test / coverage reports 50 | htmlcov/ 51 | .tox/ 52 | .coverage 53 | .coverage.* 54 | .cache 55 | nosetests.xml 56 | coverage.xml 57 | *,cover 58 | .hypothesis/ 59 | 60 | # Translations 61 | *.mo 62 | *.pot 63 | 64 | # Django stuff: 65 | *.log 66 | local_settings.py 67 | 68 | # Flask stuff: 69 | instance/ 70 | .webassets-cache 71 | 72 | # Scrapy stuff: 73 | .scrapy 74 | 75 | # Sphinx documentation 76 | docs/_build/ 77 | 78 | # PyBuilder 79 | target/ 80 | 81 | # IPython Notebook 82 | .ipynb_checkpoints 83 | 84 | # pyenv 85 | .python-version 86 | 87 | # celery beat schedule file 88 | celerybeat-schedule 89 | 90 | # dotenv 91 | .env 92 | 93 | # virtualenv 94 | venv/ 95 | ENV/ 96 | 97 | # Spyder project settings 98 | .spyderproject 99 | 100 | # Rope project settings 101 | .ropeproject 102 | 103 | *.pickle 104 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /LICENSE: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | The MIT License 2 | 3 | Copyright 2019 Phi Vu Tran 4 | 5 | Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy 6 | of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal 7 | in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights 8 | to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell 9 | copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is 10 | furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions: 11 | 12 | The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in 13 | all copies or substantial portions of the Software. 14 | 15 | THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR 16 | IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, 17 | FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE 18 | AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER 19 | LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, 20 | OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN 21 | THE SOFTWARE. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /README.md: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | # Sequence-to-Sequence Learning for Spelling Correction 2 | 3 | This repository contains a Keras implementation of an encoder-decoder LSTM architecture for sequence-to-sequence spelling correction. The character-level spell checker is trained on unigram tokens derived from a vocabulary of more than ~~466k~~ 33k unique English words. After ~~12~~ one hour of training, the speller achieves an accuracy performance of ~~96.7%~~ 97.6% on a validation set comprised of more than 26k tokens. 4 | 5 | ``` 6 | Input sentence: 7 | > The rabbit holV ewnt straight on liek a tnnel ofr some way any then dipped suddnely down so suddnenly tat Alice had nobt a moment to think aPout stopipng herself before she found hersefl falling dow a verZy deeup wLell 8 | 9 | Decoded sentence: 10 | > The rabbit hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way any then dipped suddenly drown so suddenly tat Alice had nob a moment to think Pout stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well 11 | 12 | Target sentence: 13 | > The rabbit hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way and then dipped suddenly down so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well 14 | ``` 15 | 16 | Some ideas for further improvement on speller performance: 17 | 18 | * Implement an attention mechanism 19 | * Incorporate beam search as part of the loss evaluation 20 | * Extend to high-order ngrams to capture intra-word contexts 21 | 22 | ## Requirements 23 | The code is tested on Ubuntu 16.04 with the following components: 24 | 25 | ### Software 26 | 27 | * Anaconda Python 3.6 28 | * Keras 2.2.4 using TensorFlow GPU 1.12.0 backend 29 | * CUDA 9.1 with CuDNN 7.1 30 | 31 | ### Optional Hardware 32 | 33 | * Intel Xeon CPU with 32 cores 34 | * 64GB of system RAM 35 | * NVIDIA GeForce GTX TITAN X GPU with 12GB of VRAM 36 | 37 | ## Acknowledgment 38 | 39 | The idea behind this project is inspired by this [blog post](https://machinelearnings.co/deep-spelling-9ffef96a24f6), with several distinct enhancements in this implementation, such as teacher forcing, that result in much faster convergence and better performance. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /data/wonderland.txt: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND 2 | 3 | Lewis Carroll 4 | 5 | THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0 6 | 7 | CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole 8 | 9 | Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the 10 | bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the 11 | book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in 12 | it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or 13 | conversations?' 14 | 15 | So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the 16 | hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure 17 | of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and 18 | picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran 19 | close by her. 20 | 21 | There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so 22 | VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! 23 | Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it 24 | occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time 25 | it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH 26 | OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, 27 | Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had 28 | never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch 29 | to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field 30 | after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large 31 | rabbit-hole under the hedge. 32 | 33 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how 34 | in the world she was to get out again. 35 | 36 | The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then 37 | dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think 38 | about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep 39 | well. 40 | 41 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had 42 | plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was 43 | going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what 44 | she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she 45 | looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with 46 | cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures 47 | hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as 48 | she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great 49 | disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear 50 | of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as 51 | she fell past it. 52 | 53 | 'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall 54 | think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at 55 | home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top 56 | of the house!' (Which was very likely true.) 57 | 58 | Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how 59 | many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting 60 | somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four 61 | thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several 62 | things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this 63 | was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there 64 | was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) 65 | '--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude 66 | or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or 67 | Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.) 68 | 69 | Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the 70 | earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with 71 | their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad 72 | there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the 73 | right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country 74 | is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and 75 | she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling 76 | through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an 77 | ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to 78 | ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' 79 | 80 | Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began 81 | talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' 82 | (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at 83 | tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no 84 | mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very 85 | like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice 86 | began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy 87 | sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do 88 | bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, 89 | it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing 90 | off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with 91 | Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: 92 | did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon 93 | a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. 94 | 95 | Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: 96 | she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another 97 | long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. 98 | There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and 99 | was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears 100 | and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she 101 | turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found 102 | herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging 103 | from the roof. 104 | 105 | There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when 106 | Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every 107 | door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to 108 | get out again. 109 | 110 | Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid 111 | glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's 112 | first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; 113 | but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, 114 | but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second 115 | time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and 116 | behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the 117 | little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! 118 | 119 | Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not 120 | much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage 121 | into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of 122 | that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and 123 | those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the 124 | doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it 125 | would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could 126 | shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin.' 127 | For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, 128 | that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really 129 | impossible. 130 | 131 | There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went 132 | back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at 133 | any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this 134 | time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here 135 | before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper 136 | label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large 137 | letters. 138 | 139 | It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was 140 | not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and 141 | see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice 142 | little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild 143 | beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember 144 | the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot 145 | poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your 146 | finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never 147 | forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is 148 | almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. 149 | 150 | However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste 151 | it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour 152 | of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot 153 | buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off. 154 | 155 | * * * * * * * 156 | 157 | * * * * * * 158 | 159 | * * * * * * * 160 | 161 | 'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a 162 | telescope.' 163 | 164 | And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face 165 | brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going 166 | through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she 167 | waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: 168 | she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,' said 169 | Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder 170 | what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a 171 | candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember 172 | ever having seen such a thing. 173 | 174 | After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going 175 | into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the 176 | door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she 177 | went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach 178 | it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her 179 | best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; 180 | and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing 181 | sat down and cried. 182 | 183 | 'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, 184 | rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally 185 | gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), 186 | and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into 187 | her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having 188 | cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, 189 | for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 190 | 'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! 191 | Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!' 192 | 193 | Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: 194 | she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words 195 | 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said 196 | Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it 197 | makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll 198 | get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!' 199 | 200 | She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which 201 | way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was 202 | growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same 203 | size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice 204 | had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way 205 | things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on 206 | in the common way. 207 | 208 | So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. 209 | 210 | * * * * * * * 211 | 212 | * * * * * * 213 | 214 | * * * * * * * 215 | 216 | 217 | 218 | 219 | CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears 220 | 221 | 'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that 222 | for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm 223 | opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' 224 | (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of 225 | sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder 226 | who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure 227 | _I_ shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble 228 | myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be 229 | kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way I want 230 | to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.' 231 | 232 | And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must 233 | go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending 234 | presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look! 235 | 236 | ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. 237 | HEARTHRUG, 238 | NEAR THE FENDER, 239 | (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). 240 | 241 | Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' 242 | 243 | Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was 244 | now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden 245 | key and hurried off to the garden door. 246 | 247 | Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to 248 | look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more 249 | hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. 250 | 251 | 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like 252 | you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this 253 | moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of 254 | tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches 255 | deep and reaching half down the hall. 256 | 257 | After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and 258 | she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White 259 | Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in 260 | one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great 261 | hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! 262 | Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so 263 | desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit 264 | came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--' 265 | The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, 266 | and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. 267 | 268 | Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she 269 | kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How 270 | queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. 271 | I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the 272 | same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a 273 | little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who 274 | in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began thinking 275 | over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to 276 | see if she could have been changed for any of them. 277 | 278 | 'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long 279 | ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't 280 | be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a 281 | very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling 282 | it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me 283 | see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and 284 | four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! 285 | However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. 286 | London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and 287 | Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for 288 | Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her 289 | hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, 290 | but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the 291 | same as they used to do:-- 292 | 293 | 'How doth the little crocodile 294 | Improve his shining tail, 295 | And pour the waters of the Nile 296 | On every golden scale! 297 | 298 | 'How cheerfully he seems to grin, 299 | How neatly spread his claws, 300 | And welcome little fishes in 301 | With gently smiling jaws!' 302 | 303 | 'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes 304 | filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and 305 | I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to 306 | no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've 307 | made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no 308 | use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I 309 | shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, 310 | if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here 311 | till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst 312 | of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired 313 | of being all alone here!' 314 | 315 | As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see 316 | that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while 317 | she was talking. 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought. 'I must 318 | be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure 319 | herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now 320 | about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found 321 | out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped 322 | it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 323 | 324 | 'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the 325 | sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and 326 | now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: 327 | but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was 328 | lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' 329 | thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! 330 | And I declare it's too bad, that it is!' 331 | 332 | As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! 333 | she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she 334 | had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by 335 | railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in 336 | her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go 337 | to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the 338 | sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row 339 | of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon 340 | made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she 341 | was nine feet high. 342 | 343 | 'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying 344 | to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by 345 | being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! 346 | However, everything is queer to-day.' 347 | 348 | Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way 349 | off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought 350 | it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small 351 | she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had 352 | slipped in like herself. 353 | 354 | 'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse? 355 | Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very 356 | likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she 357 | began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired 358 | of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right 359 | way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but 360 | she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of 361 | a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather 362 | inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, 363 | but it said nothing. 364 | 365 | 'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's 366 | a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all 367 | her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago 368 | anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which 369 | was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a 370 | sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 371 | 'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt 372 | the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' 373 | 374 | 'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would 375 | YOU like cats if you were me?' 376 | 377 | 'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry 378 | about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd 379 | take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet 380 | thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the 381 | pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and 382 | washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's 383 | such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried 384 | Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she 385 | felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any 386 | more if you'd rather not.' 387 | 388 | 'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his 389 | tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED 390 | cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!' 391 | 392 | 'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of 393 | conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not 394 | answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near 395 | our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you 396 | know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when 397 | you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts 398 | of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, 399 | you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He 400 | says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful 401 | tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming 402 | away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in 403 | the pool as it went. 404 | 405 | So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we 406 | won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the 407 | Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its 408 | face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low 409 | trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my 410 | history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' 411 | 412 | It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the 413 | birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, 414 | a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the 415 | way, and the whole party swam to the shore. 416 | 417 | 418 | 419 | 420 | CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 421 | 422 | They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the 423 | birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close 424 | to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. 425 | 426 | The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a 427 | consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural 428 | to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had 429 | known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the 430 | Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than 431 | you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without 432 | knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its 433 | age, there was no more to be said. 434 | 435 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, 436 | called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you 437 | dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse 438 | in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt 439 | sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. 440 | 441 | 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This 442 | is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William 443 | the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted 444 | to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much 445 | accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of 446 | Mercia and Northumbria--"' 447 | 448 | 'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. 449 | 450 | 'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did 451 | you speak?' 452 | 453 | 'Not I!' said the Lory hastily. 454 | 455 | 'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, 456 | the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, 457 | the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"' 458 | 459 | 'Found WHAT?' said the Duck. 460 | 461 | 'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what 462 | "it" means.' 463 | 464 | 'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the 465 | Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the 466 | archbishop find?' 467 | 468 | The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found 469 | it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the 470 | crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his 471 | Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning 472 | to Alice as it spoke. 473 | 474 | 'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to 475 | dry me at all.' 476 | 477 | 'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move 478 | that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic 479 | remedies--' 480 | 481 | 'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half 482 | those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And 483 | the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds 484 | tittered audibly. 485 | 486 | 'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that 487 | the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' 488 | 489 | 'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, 490 | but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, 491 | and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 492 | 493 | 'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as 494 | you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell 495 | you how the Dodo managed it.) 496 | 497 | First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact 498 | shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed 499 | along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and 500 | away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they 501 | liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, 502 | when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, 503 | the Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded 504 | round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has won?' 505 | 506 | This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, 507 | and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead 508 | (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures 509 | of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, 510 | 'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.' 511 | 512 | 'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked. 513 | 514 | 'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; 515 | and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused 516 | way, 'Prizes! Prizes!' 517 | 518 | Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her 519 | pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had 520 | not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one 521 | a-piece all round. 522 | 523 | 'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. 524 | 525 | 'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in 526 | your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. 527 | 528 | 'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. 529 | 530 | 'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. 531 | 532 | Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly 533 | presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant 534 | thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. 535 | 536 | Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave 537 | that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything 538 | to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she 539 | could. 540 | 541 | The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and 542 | confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste 543 | theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. 544 | However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and 545 | begged the Mouse to tell them something more. 546 | 547 | 'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why 548 | it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it 549 | would be offended again. 550 | 551 | 'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and 552 | sighing. 553 | 554 | 'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at 555 | the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling 556 | about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was 557 | something like this:-- 558 | 559 | 'Fury said to a 560 | mouse, That he 561 | met in the 562 | house, 563 | "Let us 564 | both go to 565 | law: I will 566 | prosecute 567 | YOU.--Come, 568 | I'll take no 569 | denial; We 570 | must have a 571 | trial: For 572 | really this 573 | morning I've 574 | nothing 575 | to do." 576 | Said the 577 | mouse to the 578 | cur, "Such 579 | a trial, 580 | dear Sir, 581 | With 582 | no jury 583 | or judge, 584 | would be 585 | wasting 586 | our 587 | breath." 588 | "I'll be 589 | judge, I'll 590 | be jury," 591 | Said 592 | cunning 593 | old Fury: 594 | "I'll 595 | try the 596 | whole 597 | cause, 598 | and 599 | condemn 600 | you 601 | to 602 | death."' 603 | 604 | 605 | 'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you 606 | thinking of?' 607 | 608 | 'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth 609 | bend, I think?' 610 | 611 | 'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. 612 | 613 | 'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking 614 | anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!' 615 | 616 | 'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking 617 | away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!' 618 | 619 | 'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended, 620 | you know!' 621 | 622 | The Mouse only growled in reply. 623 | 624 | 'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the 625 | others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook 626 | its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker. 627 | 628 | 'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite 629 | out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her 630 | daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose 631 | YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little 632 | snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!' 633 | 634 | 'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing 635 | nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!' 636 | 637 | 'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the 638 | Lory. 639 | 640 | Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: 641 | 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you 642 | can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, 643 | she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!' 644 | 645 | This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the 646 | birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very 647 | carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air 648 | doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to 649 | its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' 650 | On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. 651 | 652 | 'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy 653 | tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best 654 | cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you 655 | any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very 656 | lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard 657 | a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up 658 | eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming 659 | back to finish his story. 660 | 661 | 662 | 663 | 664 | CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 665 | 666 | It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking 667 | anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard 668 | it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh 669 | my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are 670 | ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a 671 | moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, 672 | and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were 673 | nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in 674 | the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, 675 | had vanished completely. 676 | 677 | Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and 678 | called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing 679 | out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! 680 | Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once 681 | in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it 682 | had made. 683 | 684 | 'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How 685 | surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him 686 | his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she 687 | came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass 688 | plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without 689 | knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the 690 | real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the 691 | fan and gloves. 692 | 693 | 'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for 694 | a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she 695 | began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come 696 | here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, 697 | nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't 698 | think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it 699 | began ordering people about like that!' 700 | 701 | By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table 702 | in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs 703 | of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, 704 | and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little 705 | bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time 706 | with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it 707 | to her lips. 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said 708 | to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what 709 | this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really 710 | I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' 711 | 712 | It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had 713 | drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, 714 | and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put 715 | down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't 716 | grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't 717 | drunk quite so much!' 718 | 719 | Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, 720 | and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there 721 | was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with 722 | one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. 723 | Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out 724 | of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I 725 | can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' 726 | 727 | Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, 728 | and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there 729 | seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room 730 | again, no wonder she felt unhappy. 731 | 732 | 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't 733 | always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and 734 | rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and 735 | yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what 736 | CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that 737 | kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! 738 | There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I 739 | grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful 740 | tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.' 741 | 742 | 'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am 743 | now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but 744 | then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' 745 | 746 | 'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn 747 | lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all 748 | for any lesson-books!' 749 | 750 | And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making 751 | quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard 752 | a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 753 | 754 | 'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!' 755 | Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was 756 | the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the 757 | house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large 758 | as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. 759 | 760 | Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as 761 | the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, 762 | that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll 763 | go round and get in at the window.' 764 | 765 | 'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied 766 | she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her 767 | hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, 768 | but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, 769 | from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a 770 | cucumber-frame, or something of the sort. 771 | 772 | Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And 773 | then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging 774 | for apples, yer honour!' 775 | 776 | 'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and 777 | help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) 778 | 779 | 'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' 780 | 781 | 'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.') 782 | 783 | 'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole 784 | window!' 785 | 786 | 'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' 787 | 788 | 'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!' 789 | 790 | There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers 791 | now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at 792 | all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her 793 | hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were 794 | TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of 795 | cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do 796 | next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm 797 | sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!' 798 | 799 | She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a 800 | rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices 801 | all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other 802 | ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! 803 | fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em 804 | together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll 805 | do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this 806 | rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming 807 | down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I 808 | fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I 809 | won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to 810 | go down the chimney!' 811 | 812 | 'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to 813 | herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in 814 | Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but 815 | I THINK I can kick a little!' 816 | 817 | She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited 818 | till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) 819 | scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, 820 | saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to 821 | see what would happen next. 822 | 823 | The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' 824 | then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then 825 | silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy 826 | now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell 827 | us all about it!' 828 | 829 | Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought 830 | Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm 831 | a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me 832 | like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!' 833 | 834 | 'So you did, old fellow!' said the others. 835 | 836 | 'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called 837 | out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!' 838 | 839 | There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I 840 | wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the 841 | roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and 842 | Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.' 843 | 844 | 'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, 845 | for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the 846 | window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' 847 | she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!' 848 | which produced another dead silence. 849 | 850 | Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into 851 | little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her 852 | head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make 853 | SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must 854 | make me smaller, I suppose.' 855 | 856 | So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she 857 | began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through 858 | the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little 859 | animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was 860 | in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it 861 | something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she 862 | appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself 863 | safe in a thick wood. 864 | 865 | 'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered 866 | about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second 867 | thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be 868 | the best plan.' 869 | 870 | It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply 871 | arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea 872 | how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among 873 | the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a 874 | great hurry. 875 | 876 | An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and 877 | feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!' 878 | said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but 879 | she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be 880 | hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of 881 | all her coaxing. 882 | 883 | Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and 884 | held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off 885 | all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, 886 | and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, 887 | to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the 888 | other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head 889 | over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was 890 | very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 891 | moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then 892 | the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very 893 | little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely 894 | all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with 895 | its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. 896 | 897 | This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she 898 | set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and 899 | till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. 900 | 901 | 'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant 902 | against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the 903 | leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd 904 | only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that 905 | I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I 906 | suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great 907 | question is, what?' 908 | 909 | The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at 910 | the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that 911 | looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. 912 | There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as 913 | herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and 914 | behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what 915 | was on the top of it. 916 | 917 | She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the 918 | mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, 919 | that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long 920 | hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else. 921 | 922 | 923 | 924 | 925 | CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar 926 | 927 | The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: 928 | at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed 929 | her in a languid, sleepy voice. 930 | 931 | 'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. 932 | 933 | This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, 934 | rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know 935 | who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been 936 | changed several times since then.' 937 | 938 | 'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain 939 | yourself!' 940 | 941 | 'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not 942 | myself, you see.' 943 | 944 | 'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. 945 | 946 | 'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, 947 | 'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many 948 | different sizes in a day is very confusing.' 949 | 950 | 'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. 951 | 952 | 'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you 953 | have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then 954 | after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little 955 | queer, won't you?' 956 | 957 | 'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. 958 | 959 | 'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know 960 | is, it would feel very queer to ME.' 961 | 962 | 'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?' 963 | 964 | Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. 965 | Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY 966 | short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think, 967 | you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' 968 | 969 | 'Why?' said the Caterpillar. 970 | 971 | Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any 972 | good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant 973 | state of mind, she turned away. 974 | 975 | 'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important 976 | to say!' 977 | 978 | This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. 979 | 980 | 'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. 981 | 982 | 'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she 983 | could. 984 | 985 | 'No,' said the Caterpillar. 986 | 987 | Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and 988 | perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some 989 | minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its 990 | arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think 991 | you're changed, do you?' 992 | 993 | 'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I 994 | used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' 995 | 996 | 'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. 997 | 998 | 'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came 999 | different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 1000 | 1001 | 'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. 1002 | 1003 | Alice folded her hands, and began:-- 1004 | 1005 | 'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 1006 | 'And your hair has become very white; 1007 | And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- 1008 | Do you think, at your age, it is right?' 1009 | 1010 | 'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 1011 | 'I feared it might injure the brain; 1012 | But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, 1013 | Why, I do it again and again.' 1014 | 1015 | 'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, 1016 | And have grown most uncommonly fat; 1017 | Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- 1018 | Pray, what is the reason of that?' 1019 | 1020 | 'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1021 | 'I kept all my limbs very supple 1022 | By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- 1023 | Allow me to sell you a couple?' 1024 | 1025 | 'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak 1026 | For anything tougher than suet; 1027 | Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- 1028 | Pray how did you manage to do it?' 1029 | 1030 | 'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, 1031 | And argued each case with my wife; 1032 | And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 1033 | Has lasted the rest of my life.' 1034 | 1035 | 'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose 1036 | That your eye was as steady as ever; 1037 | Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- 1038 | What made you so awfully clever?' 1039 | 1040 | 'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' 1041 | Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs! 1042 | Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 1043 | Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' 1044 | 1045 | 1046 | 'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. 1047 | 1048 | 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words 1049 | have got altered.' 1050 | 1051 | 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and 1052 | there was silence for some minutes. 1053 | 1054 | The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 1055 | 1056 | 'What size do you want to be?' it asked. 1057 | 1058 | 'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one 1059 | doesn't like changing so often, you know.' 1060 | 1061 | 'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. 1062 | 1063 | Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life 1064 | before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. 1065 | 1066 | 'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. 1067 | 1068 | 'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' 1069 | said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.' 1070 | 1071 | 'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing 1072 | itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). 1073 | 1074 | 'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And 1075 | she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily 1076 | offended!' 1077 | 1078 | 'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the 1079 | hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. 1080 | 1081 | This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In 1082 | a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth 1083 | and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the 1084 | mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, 1085 | 'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you 1086 | grow shorter.' 1087 | 1088 | 'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself. 1089 | 1090 | 'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it 1091 | aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. 1092 | 1093 | Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying 1094 | to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly 1095 | round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she 1096 | stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit 1097 | of the edge with each hand. 1098 | 1099 | 'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of 1100 | the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent 1101 | blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! 1102 | 1103 | She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt 1104 | that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she 1105 | set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed 1106 | so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her 1107 | mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the 1108 | lefthand bit. 1109 | 1110 | 1111 | * * * * * * * 1112 | 1113 | * * * * * * 1114 | 1115 | * * * * * * * 1116 | 1117 | 'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which 1118 | changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders 1119 | were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was 1120 | an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a 1121 | sea of green leaves that lay far below her. 1122 | 1123 | 'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my 1124 | shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' 1125 | She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, 1126 | except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. 1127 | 1128 | As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she 1129 | tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her 1130 | neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had 1131 | just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going 1132 | to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops 1133 | of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made 1134 | her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and 1135 | was beating her violently with its wings. 1136 | 1137 | 'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. 1138 | 1139 | 'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!' 1140 | 1141 | 'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, 1142 | and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems 1143 | to suit them!' 1144 | 1145 | 'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice. 1146 | 1147 | 'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried 1148 | hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those 1149 | serpents! There's no pleasing them!' 1150 | 1151 | Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in 1152 | saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. 1153 | 1154 | 'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; 1155 | 'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I 1156 | haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' 1157 | 1158 | 'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to 1159 | see its meaning. 1160 | 1161 | 'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the 1162 | Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I 1163 | should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from 1164 | the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' 1165 | 1166 | 'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--' 1167 | 1168 | 'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to 1169 | invent something!' 1170 | 1171 | 'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered 1172 | the number of changes she had gone through that day. 1173 | 1174 | 'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest 1175 | contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE 1176 | with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use 1177 | denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an 1178 | egg!' 1179 | 1180 | 'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful 1181 | child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you 1182 | know.' 1183 | 1184 | 'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're 1185 | a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' 1186 | 1187 | This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a 1188 | minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're 1189 | looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me 1190 | whether you're a little girl or a serpent?' 1191 | 1192 | 'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking 1193 | for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't 1194 | like them raw.' 1195 | 1196 | 'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled 1197 | down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as 1198 | she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and 1199 | every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she 1200 | remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and 1201 | she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the 1202 | other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had 1203 | succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. 1204 | 1205 | It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it 1206 | felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, 1207 | and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done 1208 | now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going 1209 | to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right 1210 | size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that 1211 | to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open 1212 | place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives 1213 | there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, 1214 | I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the 1215 | righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she 1216 | had brought herself down to nine inches high. 1217 | 1218 | 1219 | 1220 | 1221 | CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper 1222 | 1223 | For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what 1224 | to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the 1225 | wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: 1226 | otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a 1227 | fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened 1228 | by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a 1229 | frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all 1230 | over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, 1231 | and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. 1232 | 1233 | The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, 1234 | nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, 1235 | saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen 1236 | to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, 1237 | only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An 1238 | invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.' 1239 | 1240 | Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. 1241 | 1242 | Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the 1243 | wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the 1244 | Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the 1245 | door, staring stupidly up into the sky. 1246 | 1247 | Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 1248 | 1249 | 'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for 1250 | two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you 1251 | are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could 1252 | possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise 1253 | going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then 1254 | a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. 1255 | 1256 | 'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?' 1257 | 1258 | 'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on 1259 | without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance, 1260 | if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' 1261 | He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this 1262 | Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she 1263 | said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head. 1264 | But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she 1265 | repeated, aloud. 1266 | 1267 | 'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--' 1268 | 1269 | At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came 1270 | skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, 1271 | and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. 1272 | 1273 | '--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly 1274 | as if nothing had happened. 1275 | 1276 | 'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. 1277 | 1278 | 'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first 1279 | question, you know.' 1280 | 1281 | It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really 1282 | dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue. 1283 | It's enough to drive one crazy!' 1284 | 1285 | The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his 1286 | remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for 1287 | days and days.' 1288 | 1289 | 'But what am I to do?' said Alice. 1290 | 1291 | 'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. 1292 | 1293 | 'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's 1294 | perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. 1295 | 1296 | The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from 1297 | one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in 1298 | the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring 1299 | a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. 1300 | 1301 | 'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, 1302 | as well as she could for sneezing. 1303 | 1304 | There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess 1305 | sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling 1306 | alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen 1307 | that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on 1308 | the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. 1309 | 1310 | 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was 1311 | not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why 1312 | your cat grins like that?' 1313 | 1314 | 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' 1315 | 1316 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite 1317 | jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, 1318 | and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- 1319 | 1320 | 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know 1321 | that cats COULD grin.' 1322 | 1323 | 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' 1324 | 1325 | 'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite 1326 | pleased to have got into a conversation. 1327 | 1328 | 'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.' 1329 | 1330 | Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would 1331 | be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she 1332 | was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the 1333 | fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at 1334 | the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a 1335 | shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of 1336 | them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, 1337 | that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 1338 | 1339 | 'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in 1340 | an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually 1341 | large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. 1342 | 1343 | 'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse 1344 | growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.' 1345 | 1346 | 'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get 1347 | an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of 1348 | what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes 1349 | twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--' 1350 | 1351 | 'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!' 1352 | 1353 | Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take 1354 | the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to 1355 | be listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is 1356 | it twelve? I--' 1357 | 1358 | 'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!' 1359 | And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of 1360 | lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of 1361 | every line: 1362 | 1363 | 'Speak roughly to your little boy, 1364 | And beat him when he sneezes: 1365 | He only does it to annoy, 1366 | Because he knows it teases.' 1367 | 1368 | CHORUS. 1369 | 1370 | (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- 1371 | 1372 | 'Wow! wow! wow!' 1373 | 1374 | While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing 1375 | the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, 1376 | that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- 1377 | 1378 | 'I speak severely to my boy, 1379 | I beat him when he sneezes; 1380 | For he can thoroughly enjoy 1381 | The pepper when he pleases!' 1382 | 1383 | CHORUS. 1384 | 1385 | 'Wow! wow! wow!' 1386 | 1387 | 'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, 1388 | flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play 1389 | croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw 1390 | a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. 1391 | 1392 | Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped 1393 | little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just 1394 | like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting 1395 | like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and 1396 | straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute 1397 | or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. 1398 | 1399 | As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to 1400 | twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right 1401 | ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried 1402 | it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child away with me,' 1403 | thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be 1404 | murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the 1405 | little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). 1406 | 'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing 1407 | yourself.' 1408 | 1409 | The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to 1410 | see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had 1411 | a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its 1412 | eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not 1413 | like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' 1414 | she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any 1415 | tears. 1416 | 1417 | No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' 1418 | said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind 1419 | now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible 1420 | to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. 1421 | 1422 | Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with 1423 | this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, 1424 | that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could 1425 | be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she 1426 | felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further. 1427 | 1428 | So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see 1429 | it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said 1430 | to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes 1431 | rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over other 1432 | children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying 1433 | to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--' when she 1434 | was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a 1435 | tree a few yards off. 1436 | 1437 | The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she 1438 | thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she 1439 | felt that it ought to be treated with respect. 1440 | 1441 | 'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know 1442 | whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 1443 | 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you 1444 | tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 1445 | 1446 | 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 1447 | 1448 | 'I don't much care where--' said Alice. 1449 | 1450 | 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. 1451 | 1452 | '--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. 1453 | 1454 | 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long 1455 | enough.' 1456 | 1457 | Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. 1458 | 'What sort of people live about here?' 1459 | 1460 | 'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives 1461 | a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March 1462 | Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' 1463 | 1464 | 'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 1465 | 1466 | 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. 1467 | You're mad.' 1468 | 1469 | 'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. 1470 | 1471 | 'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.' 1472 | 1473 | Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how 1474 | do you know that you're mad?' 1475 | 1476 | 'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?' 1477 | 1478 | 'I suppose so,' said Alice. 1479 | 1480 | 'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, 1481 | and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and 1482 | wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' 1483 | 1484 | 'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. 1485 | 1486 | 'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the 1487 | Queen to-day?' 1488 | 1489 | 'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited 1490 | yet.' 1491 | 1492 | 'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. 1493 | 1494 | Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer 1495 | things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, 1496 | it suddenly appeared again. 1497 | 1498 | 'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly 1499 | forgotten to ask.' 1500 | 1501 | 'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back 1502 | in a natural way. 1503 | 1504 | 'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. 1505 | 1506 | Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not 1507 | appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in 1508 | which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen hatters before,' she 1509 | said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and 1510 | perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as 1511 | it was in March.' As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat 1512 | again, sitting on a branch of a tree. 1513 | 1514 | 'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. 1515 | 1516 | 'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and 1517 | vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' 1518 | 1519 | 'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, 1520 | beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which 1521 | remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 1522 | 1523 | 'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin 1524 | without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!' 1525 | 1526 | She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house 1527 | of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the 1528 | chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It 1529 | was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had 1530 | nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to 1531 | about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, 1532 | saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost 1533 | wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!' 1534 | 1535 | 1536 | 1537 | 1538 | CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party 1539 | 1540 | There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the 1541 | March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting 1542 | between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a 1543 | cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. 'Very 1544 | uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I 1545 | suppose it doesn't mind.' 1546 | 1547 | The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at 1548 | one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice 1549 | coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat 1550 | down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. 1551 | 1552 | 'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. 1553 | 1554 | Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 1555 | 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 1556 | 1557 | 'There isn't any,' said the March Hare. 1558 | 1559 | 'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily. 1560 | 1561 | 'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said 1562 | the March Hare. 1563 | 1564 | 'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great 1565 | many more than three.' 1566 | 1567 | 'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice 1568 | for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. 1569 | 1570 | 'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some 1571 | severity; 'it's very rude.' 1572 | 1573 | The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID 1574 | was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' 1575 | 1576 | 'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've 1577 | begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud. 1578 | 1579 | 'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the 1580 | March Hare. 1581 | 1582 | 'Exactly so,' said Alice. 1583 | 1584 | 'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. 1585 | 1586 | 'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I 1587 | say--that's the same thing, you know.' 1588 | 1589 | 'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say 1590 | that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!' 1591 | 1592 | 'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I 1593 | get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' 1594 | 1595 | 'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be 1596 | talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing 1597 | as "I sleep when I breathe"!' 1598 | 1599 | 'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the 1600 | conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice 1601 | thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, 1602 | which wasn't much. 1603 | 1604 | The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month 1605 | is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his 1606 | pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, 1607 | and holding it to his ear. 1608 | 1609 | Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.' 1610 | 1611 | 'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit 1612 | the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare. 1613 | 1614 | 'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. 1615 | 1616 | 'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: 1617 | 'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' 1618 | 1619 | The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped 1620 | it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of 1621 | nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter, 1622 | you know.' 1623 | 1624 | Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a 1625 | funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't 1626 | tell what o'clock it is!' 1627 | 1628 | 'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what 1629 | year it is?' 1630 | 1631 | 'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it 1632 | stays the same year for such a long time together.' 1633 | 1634 | 'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. 1635 | 1636 | Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no 1637 | sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite 1638 | understand you,' she said, as politely as she could. 1639 | 1640 | 'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little 1641 | hot tea upon its nose. 1642 | 1643 | The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its 1644 | eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.' 1645 | 1646 | 'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice 1647 | again. 1648 | 1649 | 'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?' 1650 | 1651 | 'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. 1652 | 1653 | 'Nor I,' said the March Hare. 1654 | 1655 | Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the 1656 | time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' 1657 | 1658 | 'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk 1659 | about wasting IT. It's HIM.' 1660 | 1661 | 'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. 1662 | 1663 | 'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. 1664 | 'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' 1665 | 1666 | 'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time 1667 | when I learn music.' 1668 | 1669 | 'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating. 1670 | Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything 1671 | you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in 1672 | the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a 1673 | hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, 1674 | time for dinner!' 1675 | 1676 | ('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) 1677 | 1678 | 'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I 1679 | shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' 1680 | 1681 | 'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to 1682 | half-past one as long as you liked.' 1683 | 1684 | 'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. 1685 | 1686 | The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We 1687 | quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing 1688 | with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert 1689 | given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing 1690 | 1691 | "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! 1692 | How I wonder what you're at!" 1693 | 1694 | You know the song, perhaps?' 1695 | 1696 | 'I've heard something like it,' said Alice. 1697 | 1698 | 'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:-- 1699 | 1700 | "Up above the world you fly, 1701 | Like a tea-tray in the sky. 1702 | Twinkle, twinkle--"' 1703 | 1704 | Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, 1705 | twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch 1706 | it to make it stop. 1707 | 1708 | 'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the 1709 | Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his 1710 | head!"' 1711 | 1712 | 'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. 1713 | 1714 | 'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't 1715 | do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' 1716 | 1717 | A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many 1718 | tea-things are put out here?' she asked. 1719 | 1720 | 'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time, 1721 | and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' 1722 | 1723 | 'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. 1724 | 1725 | 'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.' 1726 | 1727 | 'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured 1728 | to ask. 1729 | 1730 | 'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. 1731 | 'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.' 1732 | 1733 | 'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the 1734 | proposal. 1735 | 1736 | 'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And 1737 | they pinched it on both sides at once. 1738 | 1739 | The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a 1740 | hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.' 1741 | 1742 | 'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. 1743 | 1744 | 'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. 1745 | 1746 | 'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again 1747 | before it's done.' 1748 | 1749 | 'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began 1750 | in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and 1751 | they lived at the bottom of a well--' 1752 | 1753 | 'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in 1754 | questions of eating and drinking. 1755 | 1756 | 'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or 1757 | two. 1758 | 1759 | 'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd 1760 | have been ill.' 1761 | 1762 | 'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.' 1763 | 1764 | Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of 1765 | living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But 1766 | why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 1767 | 1768 | 'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. 1769 | 1770 | 'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't 1771 | take more.' 1772 | 1773 | 'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take 1774 | MORE than nothing.' 1775 | 1776 | 'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. 1777 | 1778 | 'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly. 1779 | 1780 | Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself 1781 | to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and 1782 | repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 1783 | 1784 | The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then 1785 | said, 'It was a treacle-well.' 1786 | 1787 | 'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the 1788 | Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily 1789 | remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for 1790 | yourself.' 1791 | 1792 | 'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I 1793 | dare say there may be ONE.' 1794 | 1795 | 'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to 1796 | go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, 1797 | you know--' 1798 | 1799 | 'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. 1800 | 1801 | 'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. 1802 | 1803 | 'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place 1804 | on.' 1805 | 1806 | He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare 1807 | moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took 1808 | the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any 1809 | advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than 1810 | before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. 1811 | 1812 | Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very 1813 | cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle 1814 | from?' 1815 | 1816 | 'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should 1817 | think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' 1818 | 1819 | 'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to 1820 | notice this last remark. 1821 | 1822 | 'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.' 1823 | 1824 | This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for 1825 | some time without interrupting it. 1826 | 1827 | 'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing 1828 | its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of 1829 | things--everything that begins with an M--' 1830 | 1831 | 'Why with an M?' said Alice. 1832 | 1833 | 'Why not?' said the March Hare. 1834 | 1835 | Alice was silent. 1836 | 1837 | The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into 1838 | a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with 1839 | a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an M, such as 1840 | mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say 1841 | things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a 1842 | drawing of a muchness?' 1843 | 1844 | 'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't 1845 | think--' 1846 | 1847 | 'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. 1848 | 1849 | This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in 1850 | great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and 1851 | neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she 1852 | looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: 1853 | the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into 1854 | the teapot. 1855 | 1856 | 'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her 1857 | way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all 1858 | my life!' 1859 | 1860 | Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door 1861 | leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But 1862 | everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in 1863 | she went. 1864 | 1865 | Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little 1866 | glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, 1867 | and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that 1868 | led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she 1869 | had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: 1870 | then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at 1871 | last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool 1872 | fountains. 1873 | 1874 | 1875 | 1876 | 1877 | CHAPTER VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground 1878 | 1879 | A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses 1880 | growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily 1881 | painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went 1882 | nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of 1883 | them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like 1884 | that!' 1885 | 1886 | 'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my 1887 | elbow.' 1888 | 1889 | On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the 1890 | blame on others!' 1891 | 1892 | 'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only 1893 | yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' 1894 | 1895 | 'What for?' said the one who had spoken first. 1896 | 1897 | 'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. 1898 | 1899 | 'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for 1900 | bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' 1901 | 1902 | Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust 1903 | things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching 1904 | them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and 1905 | all of them bowed low. 1906 | 1907 | 'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting 1908 | those roses?' 1909 | 1910 | Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low 1911 | voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a 1912 | RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen 1913 | was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. 1914 | So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this 1915 | moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called 1916 | out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw 1917 | themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, 1918 | and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. 1919 | 1920 | First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like 1921 | the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the 1922 | corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with 1923 | diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came 1924 | the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came 1925 | jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented 1926 | with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among 1927 | them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried 1928 | nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without 1929 | noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's 1930 | crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand 1931 | procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 1932 | 1933 | Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face 1934 | like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard 1935 | of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, what would be the use of 1936 | a procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down upon their 1937 | faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, 1938 | and waited. 1939 | 1940 | When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked 1941 | at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the 1942 | Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 1943 | 1944 | 'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to 1945 | Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?' 1946 | 1947 | 'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; 1948 | but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after 1949 | all. I needn't be afraid of them!' 1950 | 1951 | 'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who 1952 | were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their 1953 | faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the 1954 | pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or 1955 | courtiers, or three of her own children. 1956 | 1957 | 'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 'It's no 1958 | business of MINE.' 1959 | 1960 | The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a 1961 | moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head! Off--' 1962 | 1963 | 'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was 1964 | silent. 1965 | 1966 | The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my 1967 | dear: she is only a child!' 1968 | 1969 | The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them 1970 | over!' 1971 | 1972 | The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. 1973 | 1974 | 'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three 1975 | gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, 1976 | the royal children, and everybody else. 1977 | 1978 | 'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then, 1979 | turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?' 1980 | 1981 | 'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going 1982 | down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--' 1983 | 1984 | 'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 1985 | 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the 1986 | soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran 1987 | to Alice for protection. 1988 | 1989 | 'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large 1990 | flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a 1991 | minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the 1992 | others. 1993 | 1994 | 'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. 1995 | 1996 | 'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted 1997 | in reply. 1998 | 1999 | 'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?' 2000 | 2001 | The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was 2002 | evidently meant for her. 2003 | 2004 | 'Yes!' shouted Alice. 2005 | 2006 | 'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, 2007 | wondering very much what would happen next. 2008 | 2009 | 'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was 2010 | walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. 2011 | 2012 | 'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?' 2013 | 2014 | 'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked 2015 | anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon 2016 | tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered 'She's under 2017 | sentence of execution.' 2018 | 2019 | 'What for?' said Alice. 2020 | 2021 | 'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. 2022 | 2023 | 'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity. I said 2024 | "What for?"' 2025 | 2026 | 'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little 2027 | scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened 2028 | tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the 2029 | Queen said--' 2030 | 2031 | 'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and 2032 | people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each 2033 | other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game 2034 | began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in 2035 | her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, 2036 | the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves 2037 | up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. 2038 | 2039 | The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: 2040 | she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under 2041 | her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got 2042 | its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a 2043 | blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, 2044 | with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out 2045 | laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin 2046 | again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled 2047 | itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was 2048 | generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the 2049 | hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up 2050 | and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the 2051 | conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. 2052 | 2053 | The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling 2054 | all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short 2055 | time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and 2056 | shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' about once in a 2057 | minute. 2058 | 2059 | Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any 2060 | dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, 2061 | 'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of me? They're dreadfully 2062 | fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one 2063 | left alive!' 2064 | 2065 | She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she 2066 | could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance 2067 | in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it 2068 | a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself 2069 | 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.' 2070 | 2071 | 'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth 2072 | enough for it to speak with. 2073 | 2074 | Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no use 2075 | speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at least one 2076 | of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put 2077 | down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad 2078 | she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was 2079 | enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared. 2080 | 2081 | 'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a 2082 | complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear 2083 | oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; 2084 | at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how 2085 | confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the 2086 | arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the 2087 | ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only 2088 | it ran away when it saw mine coming!' 2089 | 2090 | 'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. 2091 | 2092 | 'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed 2093 | that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, 2094 | '--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game.' 2095 | 2096 | The Queen smiled and passed on. 2097 | 2098 | 'Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking 2099 | at the Cat's head with great curiosity. 2100 | 2101 | 'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me to 2102 | introduce it.' 2103 | 2104 | 'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, it may 2105 | kiss my hand if it likes.' 2106 | 2107 | 'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. 2108 | 2109 | 'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!' 2110 | He got behind Alice as he spoke. 2111 | 2112 | 'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in some book, 2113 | but I don't remember where.' 2114 | 2115 | 'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called 2116 | the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I wish you would 2117 | have this cat removed!' 2118 | 2119 | The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. 2120 | 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round. 2121 | 2122 | 'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he 2123 | hurried off. 2124 | 2125 | Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going 2126 | on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with 2127 | passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be 2128 | executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look 2129 | of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew 2130 | whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. 2131 | 2132 | The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed 2133 | to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the 2134 | other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the 2135 | other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless 2136 | sort of way to fly up into a tree. 2137 | 2138 | By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight 2139 | was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'but it doesn't 2140 | matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches are gone from this side 2141 | of the ground.' So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not 2142 | escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her 2143 | friend. 2144 | 2145 | When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a 2146 | large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between 2147 | the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, 2148 | while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. 2149 | 2150 | The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle 2151 | the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they 2152 | all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly 2153 | what they said. 2154 | 2155 | The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless 2156 | there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a 2157 | thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life. 2158 | 2159 | The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be 2160 | beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. 2161 | 2162 | The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less 2163 | than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last 2164 | remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) 2165 | 2166 | Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to the Duchess: 2167 | you'd better ask HER about it.' 2168 | 2169 | 'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.' 2170 | And the executioner went off like an arrow. 2171 | 2172 | The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, 2173 | by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely 2174 | disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down 2175 | looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 2176 | 2177 | 2178 | 2179 | 2180 | CHAPTER IX. The Mock Turtle's Story 2181 | 2182 | 'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' 2183 | said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and 2184 | they walked off together. 2185 | 2186 | Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought 2187 | to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so 2188 | savage when they met in the kitchen. 2189 | 2190 | 'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone 2191 | though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very 2192 | well without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' 2193 | she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of 2194 | rule, 'and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes 2195 | them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and such things that make children 2196 | sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so 2197 | stingy about it, you know--' 2198 | 2199 | She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little 2200 | startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 'You're thinking 2201 | about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't 2202 | tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in 2203 | a bit.' 2204 | 2205 | 'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. 2206 | 2207 | 'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a moral, if only 2208 | you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as 2209 | she spoke. 2210 | 2211 | Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the 2212 | Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the 2213 | right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an 2214 | uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she 2215 | bore it as well as she could. 2216 | 2217 | 'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up 2218 | the conversation a little. 2219 | 2220 | ''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 2221 | 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' 2222 | 2223 | 'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding 2224 | their own business!' 2225 | 2226 | 'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her 2227 | sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral 2228 | of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of 2229 | themselves."' 2230 | 2231 | 'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself. 2232 | 2233 | 'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' 2234 | the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about 2235 | the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?' 2236 | 2237 | 'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to 2238 | have the experiment tried. 2239 | 2240 | 'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And 2241 | the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."' 2242 | 2243 | 'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. 2244 | 2245 | 'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you have of 2246 | putting things!' 2247 | 2248 | 'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. 2249 | 2250 | 'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to 2251 | everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near here. And 2252 | the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of 2253 | yours."' 2254 | 2255 | 'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, 2256 | 'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.' 2257 | 2258 | 'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that 2259 | is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more 2260 | simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might 2261 | appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise 2262 | than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."' 2263 | 2264 | 'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if 2265 | I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.' 2266 | 2267 | 'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in 2268 | a pleased tone. 2269 | 2270 | 'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said 2271 | Alice. 2272 | 2273 | 'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you a present 2274 | of everything I've said as yet.' 2275 | 2276 | 'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't give 2277 | birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out 2278 | loud. 2279 | 2280 | 'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp 2281 | little chin. 2282 | 2283 | 'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to 2284 | feel a little worried. 2285 | 2286 | 'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and 2287 | the m--' 2288 | 2289 | But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even 2290 | in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the arm that was linked 2291 | into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen 2292 | in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm. 2293 | 2294 | 'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. 2295 | 2296 | 'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the 2297 | ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off, and that in 2298 | about half no time! Take your choice!' 2299 | 2300 | The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. 2301 | 2302 | 'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was 2303 | too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the 2304 | croquet-ground. 2305 | 2306 | The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were 2307 | resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried 2308 | back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would 2309 | cost them their lives. 2310 | 2311 | All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with 2312 | the other players, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her 2313 | head!' Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, 2314 | who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by 2315 | the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the 2316 | players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and 2317 | under sentence of execution. 2318 | 2319 | Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, 'Have 2320 | you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' 2321 | 2322 | 'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' 2323 | 2324 | 'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. 2325 | 2326 | 'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. 2327 | 2328 | 'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his history,' 2329 | 2330 | As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, 2331 | to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come, THAT'S a good 2332 | thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the 2333 | number of executions the Queen had ordered. 2334 | 2335 | They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. 2336 | (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 'Up, lazy 2337 | thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to see the Mock 2338 | Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some 2339 | executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with 2340 | the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on 2341 | the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go 2342 | after that savage Queen: so she waited. 2343 | 2344 | The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till 2345 | she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!' said the Gryphon, 2346 | half to itself, half to Alice. 2347 | 2348 | 'What IS the fun?' said Alice. 2349 | 2350 | 'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy, that: they never 2351 | executes nobody, you know. Come on!' 2352 | 2353 | 'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly 2354 | after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!' 2355 | 2356 | They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, 2357 | sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came 2358 | nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She 2359 | pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the 2360 | Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, 'It's all his 2361 | fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!' 2362 | 2363 | So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes 2364 | full of tears, but said nothing. 2365 | 2366 | 'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to know your 2367 | history, she do.' 2368 | 2369 | 'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit 2370 | down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.' 2371 | 2372 | So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to 2373 | herself, 'I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But 2374 | she waited patiently. 2375 | 2376 | 'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real 2377 | Turtle.' 2378 | 2379 | These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an 2380 | occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant 2381 | heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and 2382 | saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could 2383 | not help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said 2384 | nothing. 2385 | 2386 | 'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, 2387 | though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to school in the 2388 | sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--' 2389 | 2390 | 'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. 2391 | 2392 | 'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle 2393 | angrily: 'really you are very dull!' 2394 | 2395 | 'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' 2396 | added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor 2397 | Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said 2398 | to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' 2399 | and he went on in these words: 2400 | 2401 | 'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--' 2402 | 2403 | 'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 2404 | 2405 | 'You did,' said the Mock Turtle. 2406 | 2407 | 'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. 2408 | The Mock Turtle went on. 2409 | 2410 | 'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--' 2411 | 2412 | 'I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you needn't be so proud 2413 | as all that.' 2414 | 2415 | 'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 2416 | 2417 | 'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.' 2418 | 2419 | 'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 2420 | 2421 | 'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. 2422 | 2423 | 'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in 2424 | a tone of great relief. 'Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, 2425 | "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' 2426 | 2427 | 'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the bottom of 2428 | the sea.' 2429 | 2430 | 'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I 2431 | only took the regular course.' 2432 | 2433 | 'What was that?' inquired Alice. 2434 | 2435 | 'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle 2436 | replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, 2437 | Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' 2438 | 2439 | 'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?' 2440 | 2441 | The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of 2442 | uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?' 2443 | 2444 | 'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means--to--make--anything--prettier.' 2445 | 2446 | 'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is, 2447 | you ARE a simpleton.' 2448 | 2449 | Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she 2450 | turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?' 2451 | 2452 | 'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off 2453 | the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern, with 2454 | Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, 2455 | that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and 2456 | Fainting in Coils.' 2457 | 2458 | 'What was THAT like?' said Alice. 2459 | 2460 | 'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too 2461 | stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' 2462 | 2463 | 'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. 2464 | He was an old crab, HE was.' 2465 | 2466 | 'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he taught 2467 | Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' 2468 | 2469 | 'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both 2470 | creatures hid their faces in their paws. 2471 | 2472 | 'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to 2473 | change the subject. 2474 | 2475 | 'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so 2476 | on.' 2477 | 2478 | 'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. 2479 | 2480 | 'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: 2481 | 'because they lessen from day to day.' 2482 | 2483 | This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little 2484 | before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day must have been a 2485 | holiday?' 2486 | 2487 | 'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. 2488 | 2489 | 'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. 2490 | 2491 | 'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided 2492 | tone: 'tell her something about the games now.' 2493 | 2494 | 2495 | 2496 | 2497 | CHAPTER X. The Lobster Quadrille 2498 | 2499 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across 2500 | his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or 2501 | two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' 2502 | said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in 2503 | the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears 2504 | running down his cheeks, he went on again:-- 2505 | 2506 | 'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,' said 2507 | Alice)--'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' 2508 | (Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and 2509 | said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a 2510 | Lobster Quadrille is!' 2511 | 2512 | 'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?' 2513 | 2514 | 'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the 2515 | sea-shore--' 2516 | 2517 | 'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; 2518 | then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--' 2519 | 2520 | 'THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. 2521 | 2522 | '--you advance twice--' 2523 | 2524 | 'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. 2525 | 2526 | 'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners--' 2527 | 2528 | '--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon. 2529 | 2530 | 'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the--' 2531 | 2532 | 'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 2533 | 2534 | '--as far out to sea as you can--' 2535 | 2536 | 'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. 2537 | 2538 | 'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly 2539 | about. 2540 | 2541 | 'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. 2542 | 2543 | 'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock 2544 | Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been 2545 | jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly 2546 | and quietly, and looked at Alice. 2547 | 2548 | 'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. 2549 | 2550 | 'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. 2551 | 2552 | 'Very much indeed,' said Alice. 2553 | 2554 | 'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. 2555 | 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?' 2556 | 2557 | 'Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the words.' 2558 | 2559 | So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and 2560 | then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their 2561 | forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly 2562 | and sadly:-- 2563 | 2564 | '"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. 2565 | "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. 2566 | 2567 | See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 2568 | They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance? 2569 | 2570 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? 2571 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? 2572 | 2573 | "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 2574 | When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" 2575 | But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance-- 2576 | Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. 2577 | 2578 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. 2579 | Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. 2580 | 2581 | '"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. 2582 | "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. 2583 | The further off from England the nearer is to France-- 2584 | Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. 2585 | 2586 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? 2587 | Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"' 2588 | 2589 | 'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling 2590 | very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so like that curious song 2591 | about the whiting!' 2592 | 2593 | 'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've seen them, 2594 | of course?' 2595 | 2596 | 'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself 2597 | hastily. 2598 | 2599 | 'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you've 2600 | seen them so often, of course you know what they're like.' 2601 | 2602 | 'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their tails in 2603 | their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' 2604 | 2605 | 'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs would all 2606 | wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the 2607 | reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--'Tell her 2608 | about the reason and all that,' he said to the Gryphon. 2609 | 2610 | 'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they WOULD go with the lobsters 2611 | to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long 2612 | way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get 2613 | them out again. That's all.' 2614 | 2615 | 'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew so much 2616 | about a whiting before.' 2617 | 2618 | 'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you 2619 | know why it's called a whiting?' 2620 | 2621 | 'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?' 2622 | 2623 | 'IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly. 2624 | 2625 | Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated 2626 | in a wondering tone. 2627 | 2628 | 'Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. 'I mean, what 2629 | makes them so shiny?' 2630 | 2631 | Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her 2632 | answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.' 2633 | 2634 | 'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 2635 | 'are done with a whiting. Now you know.' 2636 | 2637 | 'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. 2638 | 2639 | 'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: 2640 | 'any shrimp could have told you that.' 2641 | 2642 | 'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running 2643 | on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we 2644 | don't want YOU with us!"' 2645 | 2646 | 'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: 'no 2647 | wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' 2648 | 2649 | 'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. 2650 | 2651 | 'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and 2652 | told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"' 2653 | 2654 | 'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. 2655 | 2656 | 'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And 2657 | the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.' 2658 | 2659 | 'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said 2660 | Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to yesterday, 2661 | because I was a different person then.' 2662 | 2663 | 'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. 2664 | 2665 | 'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 2666 | 'explanations take such a dreadful time.' 2667 | 2668 | So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first 2669 | saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, 2670 | the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened 2671 | their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went 2672 | on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about 2673 | her repeating 'YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the 2674 | words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, 2675 | and said 'That's very curious.' 2676 | 2677 | 'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. 2678 | 2679 | 'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I 2680 | should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to 2681 | begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of 2682 | authority over Alice. 2683 | 2684 | 'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the 2685 | Gryphon. 2686 | 2687 | 'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' 2688 | thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.' However, she 2689 | got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster 2690 | Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came 2691 | very queer indeed:-- 2692 | 2693 | ''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, 2694 | "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." 2695 | As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 2696 | Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' 2697 | 2698 | [later editions continued as follows 2699 | When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, 2700 | And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, 2701 | But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, 2702 | His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] 2703 | 2704 | 'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the 2705 | Gryphon. 2706 | 2707 | 'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds 2708 | uncommon nonsense.' 2709 | 2710 | Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, 2711 | wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again. 2712 | 2713 | 'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. 2714 | 2715 | 'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next 2716 | verse.' 2717 | 2718 | 'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How COULD he turn them 2719 | out with his nose, you know?' 2720 | 2721 | 'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully 2722 | puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. 2723 | 2724 | 'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it 2725 | begins "I passed by his garden."' 2726 | 2727 | Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come 2728 | wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- 2729 | 2730 | 'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 2731 | How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' 2732 | 2733 | [later editions continued as follows 2734 | The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, 2735 | While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. 2736 | When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, 2737 | Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: 2738 | While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, 2739 | And concluded the banquet--] 2740 | 2741 | 'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle 2742 | interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most 2743 | confusing thing I ever heard!' 2744 | 2745 | 'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was 2746 | only too glad to do so. 2747 | 2748 | 'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went 2749 | on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?' 2750 | 2751 | 'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice 2752 | replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 2753 | 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old 2754 | fellow?' 2755 | 2756 | The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked 2757 | with sobs, to sing this:-- 2758 | 2759 | 'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 2760 | Waiting in a hot tureen! 2761 | Who for such dainties would not stoop? 2762 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2763 | Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2764 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2765 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2766 | Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 2767 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 2768 | 2769 | 'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 2770 | Game, or any other dish? 2771 | Who would not give all else for two 2772 | Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2773 | Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2774 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2775 | Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2776 | Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 2777 | Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' 2778 | 2779 | 'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun 2780 | to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the 2781 | distance. 2782 | 2783 | 'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried 2784 | off, without waiting for the end of the song. 2785 | 2786 | 'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only 2787 | answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly 2788 | came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:-- 2789 | 2790 | 'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 2791 | Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' 2792 | 2793 | 2794 | 2795 | 2796 | CHAPTER XI. Who Stole the Tarts? 2797 | 2798 | The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they 2799 | arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little 2800 | birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was 2801 | standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard 2802 | him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, 2803 | and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court 2804 | was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, 2805 | that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the 2806 | trial done,' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there 2807 | seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about 2808 | her, to pass away the time. 2809 | 2810 | Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read 2811 | about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew 2812 | the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,' she said to 2813 | herself, 'because of his great wig.' 2814 | 2815 | The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the 2816 | wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did 2817 | not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. 2818 | 2819 | 'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,' 2820 | (she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were 2821 | animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors.' She said 2822 | this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of 2823 | it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her 2824 | age knew the meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done 2825 | just as well. 2826 | 2827 | The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 'What are they 2828 | doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put 2829 | down yet, before the trial's begun.' 2830 | 2831 | 'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for 2832 | fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.' 2833 | 2834 | 'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped 2835 | hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!' and the 2836 | King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who 2837 | was talking. 2838 | 2839 | Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, 2840 | that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!' on their slates, 2841 | and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell 2842 | 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. 'A nice 2843 | muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!' thought Alice. 2844 | 2845 | One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice 2846 | could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and 2847 | very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly 2848 | that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out 2849 | at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was 2850 | obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was 2851 | of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 2852 | 2853 | 'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. 2854 | 2855 | On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then 2856 | unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- 2857 | 2858 | 'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, 2859 | All on a summer day: 2860 | The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 2861 | And took them quite away!' 2862 | 2863 | 'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. 2864 | 2865 | 'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a great 2866 | deal to come before that!' 2867 | 2868 | 'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three 2869 | blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!' 2870 | 2871 | The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one 2872 | hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg pardon, your 2873 | Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished 2874 | my tea when I was sent for.' 2875 | 2876 | 'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you begin?' 2877 | 2878 | The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the 2879 | court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it 2880 | was,' he said. 2881 | 2882 | 'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. 2883 | 2884 | 'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. 2885 | 2886 | 'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly 2887 | wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and 2888 | reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 2889 | 2890 | 'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. 2891 | 2892 | 'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. 2893 | 2894 | 'Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a 2895 | memorandum of the fact. 2896 | 2897 | 'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 'I've none of 2898 | my own. I'm a hatter.' 2899 | 2900 | Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, 2901 | who turned pale and fidgeted. 2902 | 2903 | 'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or I'll have 2904 | you executed on the spot.' 2905 | 2906 | This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting 2907 | from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in 2908 | his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the 2909 | bread-and-butter. 2910 | 2911 | Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled 2912 | her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to 2913 | grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave 2914 | the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as 2915 | long as there was room for her. 2916 | 2917 | 'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting 2918 | next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.' 2919 | 2920 | 'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.' 2921 | 2922 | 'You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. 2923 | 2924 | 'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing 2925 | too.' 2926 | 2927 | 'Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 'not in that 2928 | ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the 2929 | other side of the court. 2930 | 2931 | All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, 2932 | just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers 2933 | of the court, 'Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on 2934 | which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. 2935 | 2936 | 'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you 2937 | executed, whether you're nervous or not.' 2938 | 2939 | 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, 2940 | '--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the 2941 | bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--' 2942 | 2943 | 'The twinkling of the what?' said the King. 2944 | 2945 | 'It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. 2946 | 2947 | 'Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 'Do you 2948 | take me for a dunce? Go on!' 2949 | 2950 | 'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after 2951 | that--only the March Hare said--' 2952 | 2953 | 'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. 2954 | 2955 | 'You did!' said the Hatter. 2956 | 2957 | 'I deny it!' said the March Hare. 2958 | 2959 | 'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.' 2960 | 2961 | 'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking 2962 | anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied 2963 | nothing, being fast asleep. 2964 | 2965 | 'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter--' 2966 | 2967 | 'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. 2968 | 2969 | 'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. 2970 | 2971 | 'You MUST remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.' 2972 | 2973 | The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went 2974 | down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began. 2975 | 2976 | 'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 2977 | 2978 | Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by 2979 | the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just 2980 | explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied 2981 | up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, 2982 | head first, and then sat upon it.) 2983 | 2984 | 'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often read 2985 | in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts 2986 | at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the 2987 | court," and I never understood what it meant till now.' 2988 | 2989 | 'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the 2990 | King. 2991 | 2992 | 'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is.' 2993 | 2994 | 'Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. 2995 | 2996 | Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 2997 | 2998 | 'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we shall get 2999 | on better.' 3000 | 3001 | 'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the 3002 | Queen, who was reading the list of singers. 3003 | 3004 | 'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, 3005 | without even waiting to put his shoes on. 3006 | 3007 | '--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the 3008 | officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get 3009 | to the door. 3010 | 3011 | 'Call the next witness!' said the King. 3012 | 3013 | The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in 3014 | her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the 3015 | court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. 3016 | 3017 | 'Give your evidence,' said the King. 3018 | 3019 | 'Shan't,' said the cook. 3020 | 3021 | The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 3022 | 'Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' 3023 | 3024 | 'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, 3025 | after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were 3026 | nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?' 3027 | 3028 | 'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. 3029 | 3030 | 'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. 3031 | 3032 | 'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that Dormouse! 3033 | Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his 3034 | whiskers!' 3035 | 3036 | For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse 3037 | turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had 3038 | disappeared. 3039 | 3040 | 'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 'Call the next 3041 | witness.' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear, 3042 | YOU must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead 3043 | ache!' 3044 | 3045 | Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very 3046 | curious to see what the next witness would be like, '--for they haven't 3047 | got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, when 3048 | the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the 3049 | name 'Alice!' 3050 | 3051 | 3052 | 3053 | 3054 | CHAPTER XII. Alice's Evidence 3055 | 3056 | 3057 | 'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how 3058 | large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such 3059 | a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, 3060 | upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there 3061 | they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish 3062 | she had accidentally upset the week before. 3063 | 3064 | 'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and 3065 | began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of 3066 | the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea 3067 | that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or 3068 | they would die. 3069 | 3070 | 'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until 3071 | all the jurymen are back in their proper places--ALL,' he repeated with 3072 | great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do. 3073 | 3074 | Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put 3075 | the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its 3076 | tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got 3077 | it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she said 3078 | to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial 3079 | one way up as the other.' 3080 | 3081 | As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being 3082 | upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to 3083 | them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the 3084 | accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do 3085 | anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the 3086 | court. 3087 | 3088 | 'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice. 3089 | 3090 | 'Nothing,' said Alice. 3091 | 3092 | 'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. 3093 | 3094 | 'Nothing whatever,' said Alice. 3095 | 3096 | 'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were 3097 | just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit 3098 | interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a 3099 | very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke. 3100 | 3101 | 'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on 3102 | to himself in an undertone, 3103 | 3104 | 'important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying 3105 | which word sounded best. 3106 | 3107 | Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' 3108 | Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; 3109 | 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself. 3110 | 3111 | At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in 3112 | his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule 3113 | Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' 3114 | 3115 | Everybody looked at Alice. 3116 | 3117 | 'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. 3118 | 3119 | 'You are,' said the King. 3120 | 3121 | 'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. 3122 | 3123 | 'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a 3124 | regular rule: you invented it just now.' 3125 | 3126 | 'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. 3127 | 3128 | 'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. 3129 | 3130 | The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your 3131 | verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice. 3132 | 3133 | 'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White 3134 | Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked 3135 | up.' 3136 | 3137 | 'What's in it?' said the Queen. 3138 | 3139 | 'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a 3140 | letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' 3141 | 3142 | 'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to 3143 | nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' 3144 | 3145 | 'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. 3146 | 3147 | 'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's 3148 | nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and 3149 | added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.' 3150 | 3151 | 'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen. 3152 | 3153 | 'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing 3154 | about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) 3155 | 3156 | 'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury 3157 | all brightened up again.) 3158 | 3159 | 'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they 3160 | can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' 3161 | 3162 | 'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter 3163 | worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your 3164 | name like an honest man.' 3165 | 3166 | There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really 3167 | clever thing the King had said that day. 3168 | 3169 | 'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. 3170 | 3171 | 'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know 3172 | what they're about!' 3173 | 3174 | 'Read them,' said the King. 3175 | 3176 | The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please 3177 | your Majesty?' he asked. 3178 | 3179 | 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you 3180 | come to the end: then stop.' 3181 | 3182 | These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- 3183 | 3184 | 'They told me you had been to her, 3185 | And mentioned me to him: 3186 | She gave me a good character, 3187 | But said I could not swim. 3188 | 3189 | He sent them word I had not gone 3190 | (We know it to be true): 3191 | If she should push the matter on, 3192 | What would become of you? 3193 | 3194 | I gave her one, they gave him two, 3195 | You gave us three or more; 3196 | They all returned from him to you, 3197 | Though they were mine before. 3198 | 3199 | If I or she should chance to be 3200 | Involved in this affair, 3201 | He trusts to you to set them free, 3202 | Exactly as we were. 3203 | 3204 | My notion was that you had been 3205 | (Before she had this fit) 3206 | An obstacle that came between 3207 | Him, and ourselves, and it. 3208 | 3209 | Don't let him know she liked them best, 3210 | For this must ever be 3211 | A secret, kept from all the rest, 3212 | Between yourself and me.' 3213 | 3214 | 'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the 3215 | King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--' 3216 | 3217 | 'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large 3218 | in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting 3219 | him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of 3220 | meaning in it.' 3221 | 3222 | The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an 3223 | atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper. 3224 | 3225 | 'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of 3226 | trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' 3227 | he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them 3228 | with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID 3229 | I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the 3230 | Knave. 3231 | 3232 | The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he 3233 | certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) 3234 | 3235 | 'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over 3236 | the verses to himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of 3237 | course--"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he 3238 | did with the tarts, you know--' 3239 | 3240 | 'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice. 3241 | 3242 | 'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts 3243 | on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE 3244 | HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the 3245 | Queen. 3246 | 3247 | 'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard 3248 | as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his 3249 | slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily 3250 | began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as 3251 | it lasted.) 3252 | 3253 | 'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court 3254 | with a smile. There was a dead silence. 3255 | 3256 | 'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 3257 | 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the 3258 | twentieth time that day. 3259 | 3260 | 'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' 3261 | 3262 | 'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the 3263 | sentence first!' 3264 | 3265 | 'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. 3266 | 3267 | 'I won't!' said Alice. 3268 | 3269 | 'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody 3270 | moved. 3271 | 3272 | 'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this 3273 | time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!' 3274 | 3275 | At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon 3276 | her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and 3277 | tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her 3278 | head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead 3279 | leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face. 3280 | 3281 | 'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've 3282 | had!' 3283 | 3284 | 'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her 3285 | sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures 3286 | of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had 3287 | finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream, 3288 | dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So 3289 | Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, 3290 | what a wonderful dream it had been. 3291 | 3292 | But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her 3293 | hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her 3294 | wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and 3295 | this was her dream:-- 3296 | 3297 | First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny 3298 | hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking 3299 | up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that 3300 | queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that 3301 | WOULD always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to 3302 | listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures 3303 | of her little sister's dream. 3304 | 3305 | The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the 3306 | frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she 3307 | could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends 3308 | shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen 3309 | ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby 3310 | was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed 3311 | around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the 3312 | Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3313 | filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock 3314 | Turtle. 3315 | 3316 | So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3317 | Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all 3318 | would change to dull reality--the grass would be only rustling in the 3319 | wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling 3320 | teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill 3321 | cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the 3322 | shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she 3323 | knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing 3324 | of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's 3325 | heavy sobs. 3326 | 3327 | Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers 3328 | would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would 3329 | keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her 3330 | childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and 3331 | make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even 3332 | with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with 3333 | all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, 3334 | remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 3335 | 3336 | THE END 3337 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /evaluate.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import os 2 | os.environ['CUDA_VISIBLE_DEVICES'] = '0' 3 | 4 | from utils import CharacterTable, transform 5 | from utils import restore_model, decode_sequences 6 | from utils import read_text, tokenize 7 | 8 | error_rate = 0.6 9 | reverse = True 10 | model_path = './models/seq2seq.h5' 11 | hidden_size = 512 12 | sample_mode = 'argmax' 13 | data_path = './data' 14 | books = ['nietzsche.txt', 'pride_and_prejudice.txt', 'shakespeare.txt', 'war_and_peace.txt'] 15 | 16 | test_sentence = 'The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.' 17 | 18 | 19 | if __name__ == '__main__': 20 | text = read_text(data_path, books) 21 | vocab = tokenize(text) 22 | vocab = list(filter(None, set(vocab))) 23 | # `maxlen` is the length of the longest word in the vocabulary 24 | # plus two SOS and EOS characters. 25 | maxlen = max([len(token) for token in vocab]) + 2 26 | train_encoder, train_decoder, train_target = transform( 27 | vocab, maxlen, error_rate=error_rate, shuffle=False) 28 | 29 | tokens = tokenize(test_sentence) 30 | tokens = list(filter(None, tokens)) 31 | nb_tokens = len(tokens) 32 | misspelled_tokens, _, target_tokens = transform( 33 | tokens, maxlen, error_rate=error_rate, shuffle=False) 34 | 35 | input_chars = set(' '.join(train_encoder)) 36 | target_chars = set(' '.join(train_decoder)) 37 | input_ctable = CharacterTable(input_chars) 38 | target_ctable = CharacterTable(target_chars) 39 | 40 | encoder_model, decoder_model = restore_model(model_path, hidden_size) 41 | 42 | input_tokens, target_tokens, decoded_tokens = decode_sequences( 43 | misspelled_tokens, target_tokens, input_ctable, target_ctable, 44 | maxlen, reverse, encoder_model, decoder_model, nb_tokens, 45 | sample_mode=sample_mode, random=False) 46 | 47 | print('-') 48 | print('Input sentence: ', ' '.join([token for token in input_tokens])) 49 | print('-') 50 | print('Decoded sentence:', ' '.join([token for token in decoded_tokens])) 51 | print('-') 52 | print('Target sentence: ', ' '.join([token for token in target_tokens])) 53 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /model.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | from keras.models import Model 2 | from keras.layers import Input, LSTM, Dense, Dropout 3 | from keras import optimizers, metrics, backend as K 4 | 5 | # For use with truncated metrics, 6 | # take maxlen from the validation set. 7 | # Hacky and hard-coded for now. 8 | VAL_MAXLEN = 16 9 | 10 | 11 | def truncated_acc(y_true, y_pred): 12 | y_true = y_true[:, :VAL_MAXLEN, :] 13 | y_pred = y_pred[:, :VAL_MAXLEN, :] 14 | 15 | acc = metrics.categorical_accuracy(y_true, y_pred) 16 | return K.mean(acc, axis=-1) 17 | 18 | 19 | def truncated_loss(y_true, y_pred): 20 | y_true = y_true[:, :VAL_MAXLEN, :] 21 | y_pred = y_pred[:, :VAL_MAXLEN, :] 22 | 23 | loss = K.categorical_crossentropy( 24 | target=y_true, output=y_pred, from_logits=False) 25 | return K.mean(loss, axis=-1) 26 | 27 | 28 | def seq2seq(hidden_size, nb_input_chars, nb_target_chars): 29 | """Adapted from: 30 | https://github.com/keras-team/keras/blob/master/examples/lstm_seq2seq.py 31 | """ 32 | 33 | # Define the main model consisting of encoder and decoder. 34 | encoder_inputs = Input(shape=(None, nb_input_chars), 35 | name='encoder_data') 36 | encoder_lstm = LSTM(hidden_size, recurrent_dropout=0.2, 37 | return_sequences=True, return_state=False, 38 | name='encoder_lstm_1') 39 | encoder_outputs = encoder_lstm(encoder_inputs) 40 | 41 | encoder_lstm = LSTM(hidden_size, recurrent_dropout=0.2, 42 | return_sequences=False, return_state=True, 43 | name='encoder_lstm_2') 44 | encoder_outputs, state_h, state_c = encoder_lstm(encoder_outputs) 45 | # We discard `encoder_outputs` and only keep the states. 46 | encoder_states = [state_h, state_c] 47 | 48 | # Set up the decoder, using `encoder_states` as initial state. 49 | decoder_inputs = Input(shape=(None, nb_target_chars), 50 | name='decoder_data') 51 | # We set up our decoder to return full output sequences, 52 | # and to return internal states as well. We don't use the return 53 | # states in the training model, but we will use them in inference. 54 | decoder_lstm = LSTM(hidden_size, dropout=0.2, return_sequences=True, 55 | return_state=True, name='decoder_lstm') 56 | decoder_outputs, _, _ = decoder_lstm(decoder_inputs, 57 | initial_state=encoder_states) 58 | decoder_softmax = Dense(nb_target_chars, activation='softmax', 59 | name='decoder_softmax') 60 | decoder_outputs = decoder_softmax(decoder_outputs) 61 | 62 | # The main model will turn `encoder_input_data` & `decoder_input_data` 63 | # into `decoder_target_data` 64 | model = Model(inputs=[encoder_inputs, decoder_inputs], 65 | outputs=decoder_outputs) 66 | 67 | adam = optimizers.Adam(lr=0.001, decay=0.0) 68 | model.compile(optimizer=adam, loss='categorical_crossentropy', 69 | metrics=['accuracy', truncated_acc, truncated_loss]) 70 | 71 | # Define the encoder model separately. 72 | encoder_model = Model(inputs=encoder_inputs, outputs=encoder_states) 73 | 74 | # Define the decoder model separately. 75 | decoder_state_input_h = Input(shape=(hidden_size,)) 76 | decoder_state_input_c = Input(shape=(hidden_size,)) 77 | decoder_states_inputs = [decoder_state_input_h, decoder_state_input_c] 78 | decoder_outputs, state_h, state_c = decoder_lstm( 79 | decoder_inputs, initial_state=decoder_states_inputs) 80 | decoder_states = [state_h, state_c] 81 | decoder_outputs = decoder_softmax(decoder_outputs) 82 | decoder_model = Model(inputs=[decoder_inputs] + decoder_states_inputs, 83 | outputs=[decoder_outputs] + decoder_states) 84 | 85 | return model, encoder_model, decoder_model 86 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /models/seq2seq.h5: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- https://raw.githubusercontent.com/vuptran/deep-spell-checkr/92344d58ea56bc9e8641f62a9153c286a2ab651b/models/seq2seq.h5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /train_val.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import os 2 | import numpy as np 3 | 4 | np.random.seed(1234) 5 | os.environ['CUDA_VISIBLE_DEVICES'] = '0' 6 | 7 | from utils import CharacterTable, transform 8 | from utils import batch, datagen, decode_sequences 9 | from utils import read_text, tokenize 10 | from model import seq2seq 11 | 12 | error_rate = 0.8 13 | hidden_size = 512 14 | nb_epochs = 100 15 | train_batch_size = 128 16 | val_batch_size = 256 17 | sample_mode = 'argmax' 18 | # Input sequences may optionally be reversed, 19 | # shown to increase performance by introducing 20 | # shorter term dependencies between source and target: 21 | # "Learning to Execute" 22 | # http://arxiv.org/abs/1410.4615 23 | # "Sequence to Sequence Learning with Neural Networks" 24 | # https://arxiv.org/abs/1409.3215 25 | reverse = True 26 | 27 | data_path = './data' 28 | train_books = ['nietzsche.txt', 'pride_and_prejudice.txt', 29 | 'shakespeare.txt', 'war_and_peace.txt'] 30 | val_books = ['wonderland.txt'] 31 | 32 | 33 | if __name__ == '__main__': 34 | # Prepare training data. 35 | text = read_text(data_path, train_books) 36 | vocab = tokenize(text) 37 | vocab = list(filter(None, set(vocab))) 38 | 39 | # `maxlen` is the length of the longest word in the vocabulary 40 | # plus two SOS and EOS characters. 41 | maxlen = max([len(token) for token in vocab]) + 2 42 | train_encoder, train_decoder, train_target = transform( 43 | vocab, maxlen, error_rate=error_rate, shuffle=False) 44 | print(train_encoder[:10]) 45 | print(train_decoder[:10]) 46 | print(train_target[:10]) 47 | 48 | input_chars = set(' '.join(train_encoder)) 49 | target_chars = set(' '.join(train_decoder)) 50 | nb_input_chars = len(input_chars) 51 | nb_target_chars = len(target_chars) 52 | 53 | print('Size of training vocabulary =', len(vocab)) 54 | print('Number of unique input characters:', nb_input_chars) 55 | print('Number of unique target characters:', nb_target_chars) 56 | print('Max sequence length in the training set:', maxlen) 57 | 58 | # Prepare validation data. 59 | text = read_text(data_path, val_books) 60 | val_tokens = tokenize(text) 61 | val_tokens = list(filter(None, val_tokens)) 62 | 63 | val_maxlen = max([len(token) for token in val_tokens]) + 2 64 | val_encoder, val_decoder, val_target = transform( 65 | val_tokens, maxlen, error_rate=error_rate, shuffle=False) 66 | print(val_encoder[:10]) 67 | print(val_decoder[:10]) 68 | print(val_target[:10]) 69 | print('Number of non-unique validation tokens =', len(val_tokens)) 70 | print('Max sequence length in the validation set:', val_maxlen) 71 | 72 | # Define training and evaluation configuration. 73 | input_ctable = CharacterTable(input_chars) 74 | target_ctable = CharacterTable(target_chars) 75 | 76 | train_steps = len(vocab) // train_batch_size 77 | val_steps = len(val_tokens) // val_batch_size 78 | 79 | # Compile the model. 80 | model, encoder_model, decoder_model = seq2seq( 81 | hidden_size, nb_input_chars, nb_target_chars) 82 | print(model.summary()) 83 | 84 | # Train and evaluate. 85 | for epoch in range(nb_epochs): 86 | print('Main Epoch {:d}/{:d}'.format(epoch + 1, nb_epochs)) 87 | 88 | train_encoder, train_decoder, train_target = transform( 89 | vocab, maxlen, error_rate=error_rate, shuffle=True) 90 | 91 | train_encoder_batch = batch(train_encoder, maxlen, input_ctable, 92 | train_batch_size, reverse) 93 | train_decoder_batch = batch(train_decoder, maxlen, target_ctable, 94 | train_batch_size) 95 | train_target_batch = batch(train_target, maxlen, target_ctable, 96 | train_batch_size) 97 | 98 | val_encoder_batch = batch(val_encoder, maxlen, input_ctable, 99 | val_batch_size, reverse) 100 | val_decoder_batch = batch(val_decoder, maxlen, target_ctable, 101 | val_batch_size) 102 | val_target_batch = batch(val_target, maxlen, target_ctable, 103 | val_batch_size) 104 | 105 | train_loader = datagen(train_encoder_batch, 106 | train_decoder_batch, train_target_batch) 107 | val_loader = datagen(val_encoder_batch, 108 | val_decoder_batch, val_target_batch) 109 | 110 | model.fit_generator(train_loader, 111 | steps_per_epoch=train_steps, 112 | epochs=1, verbose=1, 113 | validation_data=val_loader, 114 | validation_steps=val_steps) 115 | 116 | # On epoch end - decode a batch of misspelled tokens from the 117 | # validation set to visualize speller performance. 118 | nb_tokens = 5 119 | input_tokens, target_tokens, decoded_tokens = decode_sequences( 120 | val_encoder, val_target, input_ctable, target_ctable, 121 | maxlen, reverse, encoder_model, decoder_model, nb_tokens, 122 | sample_mode=sample_mode, random=True) 123 | 124 | print('-') 125 | print('Input tokens: ', input_tokens) 126 | print('Decoded tokens:', decoded_tokens) 127 | print('Target tokens: ', target_tokens) 128 | print('-') 129 | 130 | # Save the model at end of each epoch. 131 | model_file = '_'.join(['seq2seq', 'epoch', str(epoch + 1)]) + '.h5' 132 | save_dir = 'checkpoints' 133 | if not os.path.exists(save_dir): 134 | os.makedirs(save_dir) 135 | save_path = os.path.join(save_dir, model_file) 136 | print('Saving full model to {:s}'.format(save_path)) 137 | model.save(save_path) 138 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /utils.py: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 | import re 2 | import os 3 | import unidecode 4 | import numpy as np 5 | 6 | from keras.models import Model, load_model 7 | from keras.layers import Input 8 | 9 | from model import truncated_acc, truncated_loss 10 | 11 | np.random.seed(1234) 12 | 13 | SOS = '\t' # start of sequence. 14 | EOS = '*' # end of sequence. 15 | CHARS = list('abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ') 16 | REMOVE_CHARS = '[#$%"\+@<=>!&,-.?:;()*\[\]^_`{|}~/\d\t\n\r\x0b\x0c]' 17 | 18 | 19 | class CharacterTable(object): 20 | """Given a set of characters: 21 | + Encode them to a one-hot integer representation 22 | + Decode the one-hot integer representation to their character output 23 | + Decode a vector of probabilities to their character output 24 | """ 25 | def __init__(self, chars): 26 | """Initialize character table. 27 | # Arguments 28 | chars: Characters that can appear in the input. 29 | """ 30 | self.chars = sorted(set(chars)) 31 | self.char2index = dict((c, i) for i, c in enumerate(self.chars)) 32 | self.index2char = dict((i, c) for i, c in enumerate(self.chars)) 33 | self.size = len(self.chars) 34 | 35 | def encode(self, C, nb_rows): 36 | """One-hot encode given string C. 37 | # Arguments 38 | C: string, to be encoded. 39 | nb_rows: Number of rows in the returned one-hot encoding. This is 40 | used to keep the # of rows for each data the same via padding. 41 | """ 42 | x = np.zeros((nb_rows, len(self.chars)), dtype=np.float32) 43 | for i, c in enumerate(C): 44 | x[i, self.char2index[c]] = 1.0 45 | return x 46 | 47 | def decode(self, x, calc_argmax=True): 48 | """Decode the given vector or 2D array to their character output. 49 | # Arguments 50 | x: A vector or 2D array of probabilities or one-hot encodings, 51 | or a vector of character indices (used with `calc_argmax=False`). 52 | calc_argmax: Whether to find the character index with maximum 53 | probability, defaults to `True`. 54 | """ 55 | if calc_argmax: 56 | indices = x.argmax(axis=-1) 57 | else: 58 | indices = x 59 | chars = ''.join(self.index2char[ind] for ind in indices) 60 | return indices, chars 61 | 62 | def sample_multinomial(self, preds, temperature=1.0): 63 | """Sample index and character output from `preds`, 64 | an array of softmax probabilities with shape (1, 1, nb_chars). 65 | """ 66 | # Reshaped to 1D array of shape (nb_chars,). 67 | preds = np.reshape(preds, len(self.chars)).astype(np.float64) 68 | preds = np.log(preds) / temperature 69 | exp_preds = np.exp(preds) 70 | preds = exp_preds / np.sum(exp_preds) 71 | probs = np.random.multinomial(1, preds, 1) 72 | index = np.argmax(probs) 73 | char = self.index2char[index] 74 | return index, char 75 | 76 | 77 | def read_text(data_path, list_of_books): 78 | text = '' 79 | for book in list_of_books: 80 | file_path = os.path.join(data_path, book) 81 | strings = unidecode.unidecode(open(file_path).read()) 82 | text += strings + ' ' 83 | return text 84 | 85 | 86 | def tokenize(text): 87 | tokens = [re.sub(REMOVE_CHARS, '', token) 88 | for token in re.split("[-\n ]", text)] 89 | return tokens 90 | 91 | 92 | def add_speling_erors(token, error_rate): 93 | """Simulate some artificial spelling mistakes.""" 94 | assert(0.0 <= error_rate < 1.0) 95 | if len(token) < 3: 96 | return token 97 | rand = np.random.rand() 98 | # Here are 4 different ways spelling mistakes can occur, 99 | # each of which has equal chance. 100 | prob = error_rate / 4.0 101 | if rand < prob: 102 | # Replace a character with a random character. 103 | random_char_index = np.random.randint(len(token)) 104 | token = token[:random_char_index] + np.random.choice(CHARS) \ 105 | + token[random_char_index + 1:] 106 | elif prob < rand < prob * 2: 107 | # Delete a character. 108 | random_char_index = np.random.randint(len(token)) 109 | token = token[:random_char_index] + token[random_char_index + 1:] 110 | elif prob * 2 < rand < prob * 3: 111 | # Add a random character. 112 | random_char_index = np.random.randint(len(token)) 113 | token = token[:random_char_index] + np.random.choice(CHARS) \ 114 | + token[random_char_index:] 115 | elif prob * 3 < rand < prob * 4: 116 | # Transpose 2 characters. 117 | random_char_index = np.random.randint(len(token) - 1) 118 | token = token[:random_char_index] + token[random_char_index + 1] \ 119 | + token[random_char_index] + token[random_char_index + 2:] 120 | else: 121 | # No spelling errors. 122 | pass 123 | return token 124 | 125 | 126 | def transform(tokens, maxlen, error_rate=0.3, shuffle=True): 127 | """Transform tokens into model inputs and targets. 128 | All inputs and targets are padded to maxlen with EOS character. 129 | """ 130 | if shuffle: 131 | print('Shuffling data.') 132 | np.random.shuffle(tokens) 133 | encoder_tokens = [] 134 | decoder_tokens = [] 135 | target_tokens = [] 136 | for token in tokens: 137 | encoder = add_speling_erors(token, error_rate=error_rate) 138 | encoder += EOS * (maxlen - len(encoder)) # Padded to maxlen. 139 | encoder_tokens.append(encoder) 140 | 141 | decoder = SOS + token 142 | decoder += EOS * (maxlen - len(decoder)) 143 | decoder_tokens.append(decoder) 144 | 145 | target = decoder[1:] 146 | target += EOS * (maxlen - len(target)) 147 | target_tokens.append(target) 148 | 149 | assert(len(encoder) == len(decoder) == len(target)) 150 | return encoder_tokens, decoder_tokens, target_tokens 151 | 152 | 153 | def batch(tokens, maxlen, ctable, batch_size=128, reverse=False): 154 | """Split data into chunks of `batch_size` examples.""" 155 | def generate(tokens, reverse): 156 | while(True): # This flag yields an infinite generator. 157 | for token in tokens: 158 | if reverse: 159 | token = token[::-1] 160 | yield token 161 | 162 | token_iterator = generate(tokens, reverse) 163 | data_batch = np.zeros((batch_size, maxlen, ctable.size), 164 | dtype=np.float32) 165 | while(True): 166 | for i in range(batch_size): 167 | token = next(token_iterator) 168 | data_batch[i] = ctable.encode(token, maxlen) 169 | yield data_batch 170 | 171 | 172 | def datagen(encoder_iter, decoder_iter, target_iter): 173 | """Utility function to load data into required model format.""" 174 | inputs = zip(encoder_iter, decoder_iter) 175 | while(True): 176 | encoder_input, decoder_input = next(inputs) 177 | target = next(target_iter) 178 | yield ([encoder_input, decoder_input], target) 179 | 180 | 181 | def decode_sequences(inputs, targets, input_ctable, target_ctable, 182 | maxlen, reverse, encoder_model, decoder_model, 183 | nb_examples, sample_mode='argmax', random=True): 184 | input_tokens = [] 185 | target_tokens = [] 186 | 187 | if random: 188 | indices = np.random.randint(0, len(inputs), nb_examples) 189 | else: 190 | indices = range(nb_examples) 191 | 192 | for index in indices: 193 | input_tokens.append(inputs[index]) 194 | target_tokens.append(targets[index]) 195 | input_sequences = batch(input_tokens, maxlen, input_ctable, 196 | nb_examples, reverse) 197 | input_sequences = next(input_sequences) 198 | 199 | # Procedure for inference mode (sampling): 200 | # 1) Encode input and retrieve initial decoder state. 201 | # 2) Run one step of decoder with this initial state 202 | # and a start-of-sequence character as target. 203 | # Output will be the next target character. 204 | # 3) Repeat with the current target character and current states. 205 | 206 | # Encode the input as state vectors. 207 | states_value = encoder_model.predict(input_sequences) 208 | 209 | # Create batch of empty target sequences of length 1 character. 210 | target_sequences = np.zeros((nb_examples, 1, target_ctable.size)) 211 | # Populate the first element of target sequence 212 | # with the start-of-sequence character. 213 | target_sequences[:, 0, target_ctable.char2index[SOS]] = 1.0 214 | 215 | # Sampling loop for a batch of sequences. 216 | # Exit condition: either hit max character limit 217 | # or encounter end-of-sequence character. 218 | decoded_tokens = [''] * nb_examples 219 | for _ in range(maxlen): 220 | # `char_probs` has shape 221 | # (nb_examples, 1, nb_target_chars) 222 | char_probs, h, c = decoder_model.predict( 223 | [target_sequences] + states_value) 224 | 225 | # Reset the target sequences. 226 | target_sequences = np.zeros((nb_examples, 1, target_ctable.size)) 227 | 228 | # Sample next character using argmax or multinomial mode. 229 | sampled_chars = [] 230 | for i in range(nb_examples): 231 | if sample_mode == 'argmax': 232 | next_index, next_char = target_ctable.decode( 233 | char_probs[i], calc_argmax=True) 234 | elif sample_mode == 'multinomial': 235 | next_index, next_char = target_ctable.sample_multinomial( 236 | char_probs[i], temperature=0.5) 237 | else: 238 | raise Exception( 239 | "`sample_mode` accepts `argmax` or `multinomial`.") 240 | decoded_tokens[i] += next_char 241 | sampled_chars.append(next_char) 242 | # Update target sequence with index of next character. 243 | target_sequences[i, 0, next_index] = 1.0 244 | 245 | stop_char = set(sampled_chars) 246 | if len(stop_char) == 1 and stop_char.pop() == EOS: 247 | break 248 | 249 | # Update states. 250 | states_value = [h, c] 251 | 252 | # Sampling finished. 253 | input_tokens = [re.sub('[%s]' % EOS, '', token) 254 | for token in input_tokens] 255 | target_tokens = [re.sub('[%s]' % EOS, '', token) 256 | for token in target_tokens] 257 | decoded_tokens = [re.sub('[%s]' % EOS, '', token) 258 | for token in decoded_tokens] 259 | return input_tokens, target_tokens, decoded_tokens 260 | 261 | 262 | def restore_model(path_to_full_model, hidden_size): 263 | """Restore model to construct the encoder and decoder.""" 264 | model = load_model(path_to_full_model, custom_objects={ 265 | 'truncated_acc': truncated_acc, 'truncated_loss': truncated_loss}) 266 | 267 | encoder_inputs = model.input[0] # encoder_data 268 | encoder_lstm1 = model.get_layer('encoder_lstm_1') 269 | encoder_lstm2 = model.get_layer('encoder_lstm_2') 270 | 271 | encoder_outputs = encoder_lstm1(encoder_inputs) 272 | _, state_h, state_c = encoder_lstm2(encoder_outputs) 273 | encoder_states = [state_h, state_c] 274 | encoder_model = Model(inputs=encoder_inputs, outputs=encoder_states) 275 | 276 | decoder_inputs = model.input[1] # decoder_data 277 | decoder_state_input_h = Input(shape=(hidden_size,)) 278 | decoder_state_input_c = Input(shape=(hidden_size,)) 279 | decoder_states_inputs = [decoder_state_input_h, decoder_state_input_c] 280 | decoder_lstm = model.get_layer('decoder_lstm') 281 | decoder_outputs, state_h, state_c = decoder_lstm( 282 | decoder_inputs, initial_state=decoder_states_inputs) 283 | decoder_states = [state_h, state_c] 284 | decoder_softmax = model.get_layer('decoder_softmax') 285 | decoder_outputs = decoder_softmax(decoder_outputs) 286 | decoder_model = Model(inputs=[decoder_inputs] + decoder_states_inputs, 287 | outputs=[decoder_outputs] + decoder_states) 288 | return encoder_model, decoder_model 289 | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------